#these messages really making me cry in a good way
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I freaking LOVEE asshole luo binghes reddit posts
😈 u/Luo_Bingge
AITA for taking my best friend of TEN YEARS out on valentines day and not my girlfriend of ONE WEEK?
So my best friend(M22) and I (M21) have been going out for valentines day every year since we were 15. This tradition of ours started back when Gege got extremely sick on valentines day and had to spend it at the hospital. Me being a good friend of course made him dinner and brought it to the hospital to eat with him. I also made sure to get him flowers and chocolate just to make sure he had a good valentines day.
We've been doing this every year since because Gege never has a date and as his best friend I want him to have a great valentines day every year! He deserves it!
Anyways, this year I had a girlfriend during valentines day. Usually on valentines day I'd be single since I either broke up with my previous girlfriend the day before, or got together with my new girlfriend the day after valentines day.
Anyways this year she expected me to spend valentines day with HER and not my Gege! Which was insane and she was acting super entitled! After arguing with her for awhile I decided to lie to her and tell her I would go with her.
Obviously though, I didn't and bought plane tickets so me and Gege could get out the country for a week. I put my phone on silent for the entire trip and when we got back home after it was over, I found that she completely blew my phone up with notifications. She was acting totally dramatic calling me an asshole and the scum of the earth. She eventually broke up with me after sending me multiple voice messages of her crying.
Her behavior really rubbed me the wrong way. So reddit am I the asshole? I know I'm not infact I KNOW that she was the one being an entitled asshole.
🥒 u/peerlesscucumber replying to u/Luo_Binghe
Hi guys! I'm the roommate Bingmei is talking about here! So I didn't expect to find my roommates reddit account through this sub reddit haha! I was even more shocked when I read the comments calling him an asshole. Reading his post it might sound like he is but he really isn't. He has been crying to me for days what his ex-girlfriend did really broke his heart. Bingmei and I were just following our years long tradition! He tried to reject her when she asked to be his valentines but she kept pushing him and breaking his boundaries! I too had to reject a couple of women asking to be my valentine this year, you guys wouldn't be calling me an asshole for that would you?
😈 u/Luo_Bingge replying to u/peerlesscucumber
wait..? You has other people asking you out?
✈️ u/AirplaneShootingTowardsTheSky replying to u/peerlesscucumber
HOLD ON YOURE THE ROOMMATE!? PEERLESSCUCUMBER MY BIGGEST ANTI-FAN IS THE ROOMMATE?
SCREAMMMM HES SO TERRIBLE..
Okay but Shen Yuan always misunderstood Binghe prioritizing him and pushed him towards chasing girls so it would be more like
Shen Yuan: Binghe maybe you should spend Valentines with your girlfriend? This is so sweet of you to do, but you can't give up on your love life because of me. We can do this the day after Valentine's!
Binghe: No uh actually she said she hates valentines. Because it's commercialized and not about love. So we don't have plans
Shen Yuan: oh, okay!
Then they listen to her voicemails and Shen Yuans like "unbelievable! If she did want to do something for Valentines, why not just say so instead of playing these mind games!? You dodged a bullet, Binghe!"
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No pressure but really liked the yandere macaque so what if reader was found by some miracle by DO or by someone else and had escaped the mountain what could Macaque do then🤨
You thought that after the torture, the Kills, and the so many bodies, you would finally get used to the violence, that in the end you had at least enough stomach to not throw up. Instead, while he was holding the severed head of another monkey, with his annoyed face that seemed like the one of a parent that is scolding his child, you had to put your hands on your mouth to resist.
"So," he said, with a calmness that made you shiver, "should I know something about this young one?"
Your eyes Met those two orbs, now completely drained from their life. You averted that gaze, feeling your guts moving and contorting in your body. He stopped closer, moving that head to the left and right.
"He was roaming not far from her... saying something about searching for the Lost One... and about some message..."
You started to shiver uncontrollably; the knowledge struck you like thunder. He looked at you, sighing, reminiscing about how easy it was to see how ready you were.
"May I know something about it? ...Have you sent some message around?... Did you?" He kept that head high ,treating it more like something trivial, as a broken vase, not what was left of a living being. You tried to cower in the corner, trying to not look at it, to not smell the blood, or hear it dripping on the floor. You felt his grip on your stump, a bad habit that he had when he started to get angrier, harshly twisting you around, forcing you to stand closer to the head and to face him and your own actions.
"I'm talking to you! Answer me, did you or did you not send a message?!"
"YES! YES! I'M SORRY, PLEASE, I'M SORRY!"
You tried to cover yourself with your good arm, afraid of some kind of repercussion. Instead, he just sighed, and after a loud thump, the head that was thrown away, he gently guided you into his arms, caressing your shoulders, comforting you in that sorry state. You didn't dare to even lament yourself in your cry; you were too afraid to even make a sound.
"I know, Draling... I know you're sorry... I know you hate this thing... but I have to..."
His voice was sweet like honey and soft like a breeze, and everything seemed so wrong on your ears, and yet you kept listening to his words.
"I can't let them hurt you... and I can't let you leave... the more you try to run, the more I have to kill them; do you understand?"
He spoke as if he were talking with a child that had made a mistake or misbehaved. It was his trick, tripping and guilting you to make you believe that it was your own responsibility if he had killed every kind of monkey that had tried to rescue you or even crossed those mountains. You even started to believe those lies.
"That's why you must stop sending messages...stop trying to get away from me...understand?"
You nodded; your hiccups were stuck in your throat and made you jump here and there, or it was his hands that were roaming too far?
"You must feel so bad... Let me take care of you..."
And while he kissed your neck, you started to zoom away in your thoughts. It was easy that way.
///
Every time he left, you used those moments to find a way to escape. You thought that, if you were lucky enough, you would be able to get as far away from him, cover your tracks, and maybe be able to find some help.
Then you lost your arm, and then he started to bring dead people that had found your messages...
You stopped; those moments were made now for something else. You liked to stay in the grass, alone with your thoughts and the soft wind on your skin. You preferred to close your eyes.
It was easy like that, to imagine being so far away from that nightmare. And, like that, you could pretend to sleep, and, at his arrival, he would just take you back to your bed and leave you be.
You hated his kindness. It felt wrong, used to make you feel guilty about your resistance to his love. But even the idea of loving him was just wrong...
You didn't want to love him, but what if giving in was your only way to finally stop the pain?
Abandon yourself to him... Maybe it was easier that way...maybe it was the only way...
When you felt a pair of steps coming closer to you, a sigh escaped to your left. He had come back sooner than the others. Days, he must have found food quite easy this time...but...what was that?
You kept your eyes closed, and yet you wanted so badly to open them up. You felt a rush of adrenaline, like a calling. Your heart pounded in your chest...was that a panic attack?! No, no. It was different! You still could breathe correctly!
Was that another of his tricks?! No, it didn't seem like that...
And this feeling seemed familiar... When did you feel it before?
You decided to finally open up your eyes, and when you did, you felt like a warm wind had rushed towards you.
Instead of those black pitch eyes, you met a pair of brown and warm eyes; they seemed gentle and ready to start a fire at every second. His ragged clothes moved with the small breeze, showing the many signs of struggle that he just endured climbing the mountain, fighting the demons and monsters. A brown chocolate fur, a few scars and cuts here and there...
You met him before... the day that you realized that the Macaque had lied to you.
He had found you,After months from your first encounter, he had found you! The first time he saw you and the macaque, he knew something was wrong, especially since he had found out your role in this story.
He was searching for you even before actually meeting you, sensing your presence on these lands; the calling of his Destiny resonated with yours.
And then you had disappeared again... No, the macaque made you disappear, holding you away from whoever tried to rescue you. The many heads on pikes that he had encountered along the road were quite the message...
But now that he was there, in front of you, all of the fear and thoughts were gone. What really mattered was that he had found you at least.
He made one step ahead in your direction, and suddenly you awoke from that trance. The images of the many monkeys killed by your captor came like a cold wave. No, he wasn't supposed to be here!
In one move, you rose up and started to walk away as fast as you could, trying to reach the house.
"WAIT!" His voice followed you like a prey; his bare feet resounded behind you, "Don't go! Please, I'm here for you!"
"Stay away!" You try to control your voice: "You can't stay here; go away!"
"I can't! I've been searching for you for so long! He had taken you away and—
"I know what he did! Now leave me be!"
"Stop! Look at me at least!"
He had reached you, and his hand tried to grasp yours to hold you and stop you, but he felt nothing.
In his fingers, he didn't feel your warmth or your flesh, only air and the fabric of your robe.
You felt his grasp only when the sudden pulling of your sleeve made the hand slip from your shoulder, revealing, still covered in bandages, the clean cut of your arm. The macaque had ripped it off from your body, and to save you from infections, he had to cut the damaged tissues and use a piece of red-hot iron to cauterize. And he was kind enough to let you sleep while he fixed the damage that you have done by denying your love for him.
"...what...what is..." His confusion met your look, and a river of ideas came when he saw those pitiful eyes. You tried to cover your mouth, feeling tears coming in your eyes, full of shock from the fact that he had seen what the macaque did to you. He let go of your sleeve, looking at your good arm holding your trembling body, and attempted to calm you down from what had happened. You didn't dare to look at him; you wanted just to hide in that house and never come out in fear of being seen again.
He didn't need to hear you; he was smart enough to know what he had seen and to understand that your reaction was connected to your injury.
"Did he do this to you?"
A small movement in your shoulder was a clear response.
He felt a fire in his chest, diacamping in his veins like a poison. His breath became heavier, and his hands squeezed to the point that the knuckles had turned white. He felt a growl trying to escape from his chest.
The macaque did this to you... He had hurt someone who had no fighting skills, and the monkey knew that he did it because you had done something that the macaque had disliked.
Maybe it was the connection with the Bián Huá, but even you were still now a total stranger; he felt a deep sense of hunger for what had just happened to you.
He was furious, and he felt shame for not being able to protect you. Now, he wanted nothing more than to crack open the head of that macaque.
But seeing you like that made him remember that he wasn't there for him. He took a big breath, trying to calm down a little...his face turned back to a gentle one.
"...I'm...Sorry... I wanted to meet for so long... Tell me how I can help you!"
"I don't need your help!" You were fighting with every being of yourself to speak without crumbling, "I need you to leave before he comes back!"
You wanted to believe that you were used to the pain and the fact that many had died because of you, but you were a terrible liar. You wanted to be strong enough, cold enough, maybe an insensible bastard, but no, you had to feel all of the guilt. And this connection between you and this monkey, you felt that if anything was going to happen to him, that would have been your breaking point.
But he... he knew that he would have never forgiven himself for leaving you behind.
"I can't just leave you like this!"
"Please," you begged now, "if he comes back and finds you, he'll... he'll kill you! I can't... I can't take it anymore... Please leave!"
So it was this? You feared that he couldn't handle the macaque? In some way he should have felt his pride hurt, but in the way that you were saying that there was nothing of it. All those monkeys killed on the road, all of them came for you, and he had made sure that you felt responsible...
"I'll leave," he said with some determination, "but you have to tell me this to my face! Tell me that you want to stay here, and I'll leave you alone! But just tell me NOW in my face!"
You thought that maybe, with enough time, you would be able to accept that fate. You really wanted to be strong enough to accept the pain, to indulge in his own fantasy, and to protect others from his sick love.
"...I don't want you to trust me... it's too early for that, but just know that I would protect you..."
But you know you weren't; you weren't strong enough to hold it together, to not crack in a spiral of madness. It was easy to succumb, but you didn't want that at the same time.
And there he was...After months, he came. After the fear and tears, he came. Despite the danger, he came.
He came for you. You could just accept everything; you just needed to tell what you needed...
But, with tearful eyes, you met his pleading gaze.
"...help....me..."
///
A whistle echoed around, a simple melody. Heard some time ago from you while he was walking towards your shared house.
He was in a good mood. After that last problem from the other day, he had found fewer creatures roaming his mountain, meaning that his warnings were making their effects. He wanted to create a small heaven for you and him, and no one needed to find it.
He had found some good pheasants ,fat enough to be roasted and being served as dinner! He Remembered the last time you had pheasants, it was the day that he had decided to finally stop starving you after your silent treatment. You were so cute with your check-all stuff up on food!
He started to humming happily, thinking about your feast when he stopped in his tracks, his heart perching around, his face now painted in a worried expression. One of the main reasons that he had chosed that mountain was that it was quiet, very quiet, and his warnings, still unmatched from everyone, could get a single cricket even from km apart.
His power didn't allow him to have eyes in the future like in the past, but he was still capable of hearing from a great distance, listening to conversations from houses apart, hearing the songs of the phoenixes in the skies, and hearing the cries of dragons. He had learned that what had led him to calm in his stressful nights was your heartbeat, a rhythm that reminded you that you were there and alive.
That rhythm now was absent.
Leaving the pheasants behind in his rush, he started to march upon the mountain towards the house that he had always made sure was harmless for your own good.
No, no, you couldn't possibly be that broken already. Yeah, he had always been harsh, maybe a little too rough with you, and took drastic measures when needed, but he wanted you sane and safe! He wanted you complacent towards his affection, never too far in his own madness!
Did you find any poisonous herbs around the area? No, he was smart enough to have cleaned around, even from the most harmless mushroom! Did you harm yourself?! Maybe you broke a window, or maybe you had used part of your robes and...
The single image of your hanged body made his muscle move faster. When he reached the house, the fear of the worst made him rip away from the wall the door, throwing it away like it was nothing. He called for you, frantically searching for a single trace of you everywhere.
He found nothing; the lunch that he had left for you was still on the table, completely cold and untouched. The bedroom was empty; everything was like he had left it in the morning, just like in the living room and in every other part of the house. When even in the bath he had found no trace of your lifeless body, a sigh of relief escaped from him.
You were not dead; you were alive; simply, you weren't there...
Ah...you weren't there...you just disappeared... His teeth start to clench, feeling his own blood boiling in his veins. You had finally managed to leave the mountain, but how?! Even with a body with both arms, it was suicide trying to leave that place, especially without a trained body and agile like his own!
Like a monkey, he exited the houses and started to sniff around. He detected his own smell, your own, and... another scent... a male... someone that he had met... the Destined one...
He started to growl; he had found his secret heaven; he had found you! That DAMN MONKEY! He had really ruined everything he had conquered, right?! Can't he just let this one slide, eh?! Leaving you alone with him?!
Then, his growling stopped...he started then to chuckle, then a laugh, then more, more strong and sinister.
You really didn't learn your lesson, huh? You were enjoying seeing so many of his own kind dying and getting killed by him, eh? Darling, you were just as evil as him...
He retrieved his weapon and prepared a few other trinkets, slowly approaching the road and searching for your scent and heartbeat and the stench of the other one. You wanted to get chased? Fine, if that was the way to show his love to you, then he was ready to rip his rival's heart out of his chest and gift it to you.
He was coming for you, and you had better be ready.
#black myth wukong#black myth wukong oc#black myth wukong x reader#black myth wukong destined one#black myth wukong yandere#yandere black myth wukong#destined one#the destined one#destined one x oc#destined one x reader#liu er mihou#macaque#six eared macaque#yandere macaque#macaque yandere#yandere#macaque x reader#macaque x oc#macaque x y/n#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#reader#reader insert#x reader#fem reader#female#self insert
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LUKIEEEEEEEEEE, GOOOOD NIGHT(? I HOPE YOU A VERY GOOOOOOOD NIGHT!
I hope you had a nice day, and if not, hope tomorrow is better! Remember that we all love you a loooooot.
Byeee, love u! *pat, pat*
🥹🥹🥹 goodnight anon (or morning rather for you:3)
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the current state of the arg
sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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Not sure if I'm sabotaging my relationship or not but I feel like I'm in the right ? Perhaps ?
#personal#basically we're long distance but I couldn't see him on a weekend because of unavoidable circumstance#we were going to go to his friends wedding but I couldn't make it.#but hes been sending me photos of my empty seat next to his at the venue#and telling me constantly that I would've loved it#so I took issue with it bc i wasnt enjoying that#and he's gone into panic mode and thinks I'm accusing him of being a 4D chess manipulator#and low-key he kind of is. Unconsciously I think but still manipulative.#he uses the whole 'woe is me' and 'I'm just a terrible useless creature pls pity me' bit way too often.#if we have a slightly uncomfortable conversation he will stop engaging with me and try to distract by telling me he loves me.#like literally 'so what do you think?' ... '[laughs nervously] I love you :'')...' imagine that being the only response he gives for an hour#so I've called him out on his difficulty with sincerity and he's just doubling down on the 'pls pity me' stuff and frankly...#i really don't like it#the wedding thing was kind of nothing but his reaction to it was telling#pulling out the whole 'I am horrified you'd think that' guilt-tripping nonsense#followed immediately by 'you overestimate my intelligence if you think im capable of that :'')' pity party.#just. not promising. not good vibes.#to elaborate on the wedding bit: I made the decision that I couldn't make it bc of a busy work week.#he assured me several times that it was okay if I couldn't make it but he stopped messaging for a day after I told him I couldn't#then sent me a photo of my empty seat with a crying emoji and telling me that he wishes I was there and that i would've really loved it#that's not a message sent with the intent to make me feel good is it?#idk reading this back it sounds like an overreaction from me but with the context of my experience with him this is not an isolated thing#it's kind of perpetually like this. then when called out on it he pulls out the love-bombing but doesn't address the actual issue.#idk. idk.#if anyone wants to engage with this post feel free. Any outsider perspective would be welcome.
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#supposed to log good things#most of day was negative feelings and sadness#then. i remember feeling good#and then. tthe good went away#rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing#the feelings of undesirability#the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me#that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting#do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful#pictures get a lot of praise#sometimes#less so lately#maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off#maybe seeing how broken i am#such a shambling wailing mess of a girl#....has made people realize how ugly i am#i don't know. its hard to care most nights#I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings#i don't usually#I used to#now i just feel..... dead inside#like a walking corpse#some part of me wants to make that reality#sigh.#anyway.#im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far#it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol#.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so#....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week
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#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333#sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy#both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol#and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol#am i jealous? fuck yeah i am.#and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like.#when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig#but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee#but yknow. dont give up uwu'#and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her#and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend#but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt#*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should#and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson#and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3#now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?'#also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today#and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests#im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol)#i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up#in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown.#but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair#i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant#and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice#anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7#like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her#and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is#oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty#when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot#because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'
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#this makes it two times in the past six months that someone went through the effort of sending a message to my barely active profile#on a dying website. just to let me know that six or seven or eight years ago#they read my fic. and it meant something to them. and it still feels important to them#and i just. ohhhhh. ghhh. fanfic! fandom! art! sharing art!#REALLY OLD ART that you almost can't look at anymore but that touched someone somewhere and left such an impression#that they remember six or seven or eight years later. and then just. the kindness of typing out a little message to say so#i am. oh i am definitely going to cry about this a little bit. in the good way#*
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I've played through both the neutral and pacifist routes of Undertale, and something that I think is so cool is that actively trying to spare everyone is so much harder, but, like, in a good way.
On the neutral route I kept killing the Snowdrakes cause I didn't really want to bother with them, and that was EASY. And it got easier the more I did it.
And then I played the pacifist route and I was crawling through Snowdin's forest, laughing at Snowdrake's bad jokes despite being at critically low health, all for the sake of making sure that his father could see him again.
And yeah, it sucked. I died a lot. But I was smiling the entire time.
#undertale isn't subtle at all with its messages#and as much as I love unraveling the messages of works#it was really refreshing to be beat over the head with it#being cruel makes it easier to be cruel#and being kind hurts so much but pays you back tenfold#and if you have an ability that effectively makes you immortal#why not use it to be kind?#again and again and again#spamming the spare button even against people who wouldn't do the same for you#anyways I bought and 'finished' Undertale over the weekend#and I know I'm a few (lmao) years late to it#but talking to snowdrake's dad in the hotel actually made me cry during both routes#and it's a REALLY good game overall#it's also $10#I would never be able to do a genocide run I've gotten way too attached to everyone#rambles#undertale
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> “Yeah I just didn’t like the way smoking weed made me feel”
> feeling any emotional pain
> “god I wish I had some weed”
#eaii#it’s been months since I quit#I was basically mivrodosing weed and it was not helping the mild psychotic symptoms I was developing#but fuckkkkkkkkk#getting drunk is fine but I get hung over really easily#i need an edibles guy again#I want to Not Feel Like this#and I know that there are some dbt skills or whatever that I could be doing#but nothing beats smoking a fat one jerking offhand then passing out#my fwb message me and I want to go over#but if I do I’m going to start crying when he touches me (for want of human connection right now)#human connection despite literally not even knowing his name#i want to be in a relationship that’s good again#there is 1 viable candidate but itd be kind of weird for a lot of reasons namely that he’s younger than me (not drastically but still) and#we have all of the same friends rn. and like three guys this week professed their love to him and I’m not trying to be number four#my friends and I do the ironically overstating our relationship thing#‘I invited my beautiful husband [name]’#‘can I borrow your pen’ ‘yeah sure’ ‘dude are we about to make out right now’#and for most everyone it’s safely within the bounds of ironic jest#but with him it happens more often and with more sincerity than with anyone else#like he went with me to get smth from my car and on the way out we kept joking about how we were going to go have passionate sex in my car#and then he suggested that we trade clothes before we went back upstairs#you know. to imply that we had passionate sex#for this to work I would need to get over my Thing about dating other trans men#and also for all of our current social circumstances to be different
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Ohhh this post is so up my alley. I'm always looking for more video game recs, especially ones with female protags. I'd also love to add some of my own personal favorites!
Crosscode (trailer)
You wake up in a strange world with no memories and no voice. You're quickly taught how to interact with the world and are forced to rely on the people around you to inform you of who you are and what your story is. It's quickly revealed that you are a player in an MMORPG, where you will have to play the game to unlock your hidden past.
You play as Lea, a silent protagonist who still manages to have a very strong voice throughout the game. You quickly pick up friends along the way, the first of them being Emilie, and you immediately grow a close connection to her. The game has a 2D top-down retro playstyle, with balanced combat and complex puzzles that take inspiration from zelda dungeons. The game's story unfolds throughout the course of multiple chapters, with (in my opinion) fantastic pacing and wonderful twists and turns. Lea is such an amazing character and I think going in completely blind for this game, so you can experience the world alongside her, is an experience I'll always recommend.
Side note: I know nothing about MMORPGS, so if you aren't a fan of them, that's absolutely not a game-breaker. This game also has a free demo on steam! So absolutely go check it out, it is one of my faves and I can't recommend it enough.
2. Dandara: Trials of Fear (trailer)
"In a bizarre universe where the oppressed are on the brink of oblivion, Dandara has awoken to reshape the world." (Steam synopsis)
Dandara is a 2D metroidvania platformer with unique gravity mechanics that I find super satisfying to play with. The main character and themes of the game are based off of Dandara, a Brazilian warrior who spent her life fighting against slavery. (Though the game doesn't have any explicit themes of slavery, and takes place in a sci-fi, distopian-esque separate world). The game was developed by brazilian studio, Long Hat House.
It's currently on sale on steam for 70% off!
3. Mutazione (trailer)
You play as Kai, a young girl who is leaving her hometown to visit and care for her sick grandfather, on the island he resides on. The island was hit by a meteor some decades ago, leaving many of the remaining inhabitants mutated. The town, though mostly recovered, is still dealing with the damage that comes from a life-changing apocalypse.
Playing as Kai, you'll get to interact with the townsfolk and learn their stories, explore the beautiful and mysterious island around you, as well as spend time collecting seeds and planting in the garden outside of your grandfather's house.
It's a super beautiful game that balances themes of grief, loss of community/family, regrowth, and hope.
(Note: While this game doesn't have romance, Kai is a lesbian who explicitly shows interest in women in this game)
4. Oxenfree (trailer)
(Last one, I promise)
You play as Alex! You're a teenager and you're going to an overnight island party with your best friend, Ren, and your new stepbrother, Jonas. Things are going pretty well (that is to say, super awkwardly) until you and Jonas venture into an old cave system on the island and accidentally open up what is probably a rift in reality, resulting in a night even more terrible than the one you were already dealing with (whoops!). It's now up to you to save your friends, and the choices you make have a direct impact on how things end.
You'll take Jonas with you throughout parts of the adventure, as well as the other friends you were at the island with. While dealing with the overarching threat to your lives, you'll get to know the rest of the characters and help (or not help) them deal with interpersonal conflicts, along with conflicts of your own.
This game is a supernatural thriller with very cool voice acting, as well as an unsettling (but awesome) new game plus. It also has a sequel! (That I have yet to play, but it's exciting nonetheless).
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Okay! That's all I've got, sorry if that's a lot or too many or not what you were looking for! All these games are near and dear to my heart, and I do recommend all of them if you find yourself intrigued by what I've written. (If they aren't a genre you like, no hard feelings).
That being said, if you had to play one game from my list, I would 100% recommend Crosscode!!! I could gush about it forever and it doesn't get nearly the amount of love and attention it deserves.
Also, if you play any of the games I mentioned, or have played them, or want to play them but aren't sure you'll like them, then please please message me!! I'd love to talk about this more.
I'm gonna use this post to recommend good (in my opinion) video games with female leads and little to no misogyny.
Feel free to add your own prefered games if you want as well.
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1. Hellblade, Senua's Sacrifice
This game is dark, brutal and emotional. It won't be everyone's cup of tea because it is a strange game and sometimes scary. But I absolutely loved it.
Our main character is a warrior on a quest to save her lover's soul. He has died and she believes she can bring him back by confronting the goddess who guards the underworld, Hela (who looks terrific by the way, but I won't spoil it).
To do this she has to fight northern gods and other dark creatures, but mostly her own mental illness and grief.
She suffers from schizophrenia and through her we experience all the symptoms which can be disturbing. Is it mythology or insanity? You're never really sure. She also has to overcome her father's negative influence. But she is determined and nothing can stop her.
The game won 5 BAFTA awards for best acting performance, best audio, most impactful game, best british game and best artistic achievement.
Hellblade 2 is currently being produced.
#i just realized this post isn't from today like i originally assumed whoops#its ok i still stand by everything i said#also this really makes me want a radfem gaming discord#or just like#to talk to radfems in general that want to discuss games#if anyone messages me based off this post#or even plays a game based that i mentioned#ill be soooooo crying in a good way
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toji x crybaby reader <3
content: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, smut under the cut !
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toji is a flawed man.
short-tempered, married to his money, slow to show affection. but the one thing he does excel at is comforting you.
he knows you’re a sensitive girl, knows just how easy it is for you to get teary-eyed and red in the face over comments that otherwise seem like nothing to the untrained ear.
you have a kind heart is all, too giving to a world that only knows how to take. he tells you that every time you break down in his arms, thick hands rubbing circles into the small of your back.
his father would have slapped him across the face for crying. called him soft, whiney like a girl. put him to work for the rest of the day to shape him into a man.
he wasn’t his father though, and you weren’t a zenin.
you were soft in the best way, tender-hearted and too trusting. a daisy among weeds, swaying idly in the too-strong wind. nothing like a zenin, nothing like him.
he hadn’t the faintest clue what to do the first time he’d seen you get upset, standing there in the kitchen like a fool while you babbled on the phone with his bank.
it was a fraudulent charge, small, maybe only 10 dollars. probably dropped his card while paying for gas again, not the end of the world. the customer service rep assured you that much.
it was the principal, you sobbed. you’d lost his card and hadn’t even noticed. why wasn’t he upset with you?
he doesn’t know why he didn’t just tell you it was okay. that he didn’t have it in him to ever be cross with you, be it a ten-dollar charge or a thousand-dollar charge.
instead he wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling your body flush with his to press soft kisses to the crown of your head.
you were warm there, warm everywhere really. the thrum of your blood heating your skin from the inside out. toji liked that about you, how you offset the perpetual cold of his much larger hands.
physical touch was something he knew well. toji wasn’t—still isn’t good with words, opting to stay silent and just hold you while you sniffled into the receiver. he got the message across, he always does.
his methods are unorthodox for that very reason. he doesn’t comfort you with his tone, he does it with his body. whether it be thick arms squeezing you until you get your breathing under control, large hands tracing shapes into your tummy until you stop spluttering, or toned legs splaying wide to let you crawl into his lap, resting on him until your bodies reach the same temperature.
toji fucks you on your good days, likes to tease you, get you squirming. the key difference is that he makes sweet love to you on your bad ones. holding you flush to his chest while he rocks into you under the safety of your shared blankets.
you feel like a furnace under him every time, heat radiating off your body and into the deeper parts of his soul.
he gets mouthy once the feeling of you wrapped around him flicks that little switch in his brain. turning off the mental barrier between him and his inability to use his words.
“sweet girl,” is what he calls you, eyes never leaving yours.
“gotta stay close to me, gotta keep you safe, huh?”
and keep you safe he does, tucking your face into the curve of his neck so you don’t have to look anywhere but him. letting you moan, and pant, and sigh into his skin while he rocks against that special spot situated deep in your core.
he goes harder when you ask him to. not faster, but harder—he knows the difference, letting the resistance in his hips subside so he can sink to the hilt over and over.
the juxtaposition makes his head spin. how do you manage to sound so sweet while asking for something like that? able to melt his heart even on the brink of orgasm.
you kiss him when he fills you up, letting him sink on top of you with a huff and a shy laugh. he listens as you open up about the good parts of your day, his soft hums of agreement spurring you on.
toji wishes he was taught to articulate himself better. he’s trying, he really is. though the “i love you” he says into your skin seems like his best shot at a start.
#toji x reader#toji x reader fluff#toji x reader smut#toji x fem reader#toji x fem reader smut#toji x fem reader fluff#fushiguro toji x reader#jjk toji#toji headcanons#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#toji imagine#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#zenin toji#jujutsu toji#toji#toji drabbles#toji fluff#toji smut#toji x fem!reader#toji x fem!reader smut#toji x fem!reader fluff
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What I loved about the Substance was that it took impossible body standards imposed on women seriously. It didn't treat me like a kid throwing a temper tantrum about not being sexy. It didn't try to tell me "everyone is beautiful" and "every body is a beach body" in a pitiable voice that makes it all worse. There's no one singing to me about how "I cannot see my own beauty", as if validation from men will ever be enough to cover the black hole in my stomach drilled by years of self-loathing, binging-purging cycles and appetite-suppression pills. It haven't stopped for a second to congratulate itself for platitudes.
The substance threw an ice bucket on my head, grabbed me by the shoulders, dragged me to the mirror and told me "look at what violence you're inflicting on yourself!". It showed me a perfect body, the carrot on the stick, and then it hit it with a sledgehammer in white neon light. Is it worth it? Aren't you mad? Look at how he eats shrimp and doesn't wash his hands - is this the person you want to be liked by? Is this what you deserve for being human, really?
I've seen this movie on Friday and it's been stuck in my head ever since. I haven't looked in the mirror the same again. Somehow this made me kinder to myself.
I've seen reviewers say that this movie counts as "male gaze" and "violence against women" but I think they don't see the forest from the trees here.
First the male gaze: it felt like a deconstruction, in the best way. Sue's butt was the least erotic thing ever put to screen. The soft porn dance studio was shot in a lifeless manner, I felt like my mom was reading the browse history. Personally, I'd never want to have Sue's job. Even the sexist dudes that watch the movie seem to "get it", that their overly sexual media diet looks embarassing under the microscope. The medium is the message, and the sound and visual cues are all there to make sex appeal look very unappealing and immature. There's nothing sexy in "Pump it up", it's catchy and fun and has sexual undertones, but not a hint of sensuality.
Then the violence against women: there is only one scene where a man attacks a woman, and I'll not spoil it, but i'll say it's so bizzare it feels too cartoony to count. The rest of the violence is all self-inflicted. Every step of the way. Women don't just suffer abuse under patriarchy from men, they self-inflict and reenforce the structures of their own suffering onto others. Elizabeth is a fitness coach actively making bank off of other women's fears, and in the process of telling everyone over x kg to skip lunch she's grown her own self-loathing too. It wasn't really the horny men watching the fitness show, isn't it? Sue is even worse, she goes on talk shows to tell women her looks come from being kind, a silly statement considering she injects herself daily with an old woman's spine liquid while loathing her for existing. Elizabeth and Sue are both victims and perpetuators of violence, and it's gruesome because it's not a silly feminine thing, it's all-encompassing and a matter of life and death. Without violence, what would be the message of the movie? "It kinda sucks to be a woman hating your body". Doesn't sting, isn't it? This is not chopping women and putting them in refrigerators to give the good guy a reason to kill the baddie, this has to be violent to show the depth of pain of the protagonist. It's necessary. And I like it, because crying and wallowing in pain is not the behaviour you want to see on screens, it feels lethargic and leads to the problem not being taken as seriously.
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doll
𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐦 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬. 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥. 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞.
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jeong yunho x f!reader insert 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: jeong yunho has a secret. it is locked away in his apartment, away from the dorm, away from his close friends, and away from his idol lifestyle. it waits for him every night, and sends him off every morning. and he just can't wait to end his day and get his hands on his pretty little doll.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: stockholm syndrome, captive!reader, kidnapper!yunho, manipulator!yunho, angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, degradation, manipulation, toxic relationship, touch deprivation, violence, light jumpscare(once), bondage, victim blaming, anger management issues, threats, blackmailing, petting, dry humping, dacryphilia, dumbification, praise, wax play, pet names, rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: the reader isn't necessarily small or petite, yunho is simply that big and strong that compared to him she is written the way she is. :) not completely proofread!
𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.
yunho detests being away for a long time. more than that, he loathes having to keep making up excuses and lying to his close friends just to go to his own apartment. the time digits on his phone screen do not change fast enough, and soon the man finds himself gnawing the inside of his cheek and thinking whether or not to tap on his most used texting app. he sits in his makeup chair, giving the makeup artist a hard time as his fingers itch to type a message to a certain someone.
"yunho, please stay still. i'll be done faster if you let me work." the woman begs. he sighs, and finally puts the phone in his pocket. at least tries to, before a notification stops him.
doll: yunnie doll: i miss you yunnie :( doll: [file attached]
yunho lowers the brightness of his phone screen, then the volume just in case. his fingers then eagerly tap on the file, and his eyes are met with a sight he will never get tired of seeing: a picture of your face, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks flushed, and lips a pretty pink shade, just how he likes it.
doll: be home soon, pretty please?
yunho: what did i say about being needy and impatient? i'll be there when i get there. behave.
doll: i will. i'm sorry.
he knows that he has worsened the situation. that your bottom lip is probably quivering right now, and fresh tears are threatening to spill down your rosy cheeks. and he doesn't hate it. he only hates that he isn't there to see it. satisfied with your lack of replies, he finally sets his phone aside and allows the artist to finish her job.
when yunho arrives at the apartment, he makes sure to turn the key slowly when unlocking the door. he doesn't turn any lights on, simply putting his jacket on the well memorised spot near the entrance and proceeding into the living room. the window is open, but yunho does not worry. you know better than that.
the place is spotless, which means that you really wished to catch him in a good mood today. and he likes when you work hard for him, cleaning his apartment, cooking for him, ironing his clothes. when he is happy, you are happy. and when you are happy, yunho has hit the jackpot.
in the corner of his eye, he notices a sketch pad and a few pencils neatly set on the corner of the window where you loved to sit. the absence of light meant only one thing; you were fast asleep. you probably tired yourself from crying, then tucked yourself in like usual.
the man's polished shoes lightly click against the spotless parquet floor, legs carrying him to the window where he has bought and installed a hanging chair for you. you loved to sink into the fluffy pillows under the blanket, big eyes looking outside where you know you are not allowed to go. but not once did you whine about it, instead thanking him for allowing you to look. he takes the sketch pad, slender fingers tracing the faint pencil lines on the white paper.
it is his face, from today's live they held before their comeback. when you texted him, you really did miss him. so much that you turned on the big tv which you never usually touch without him, turned on the youtube live and made multiple sketches of his face. you had even sneakily put a few hearts around his head, and a small one on his nose. at the bottom of each paper, your pretty handwriting; my yunnie.
he notices that the pencils are getting smaller from being used and sharpened much more lately. he will get you new ones as soon as possible, just so you don't stop and fall in a slump again. he loves when you do things that make you happy.
instead of going to the bedroom next, he proceeds into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of whisky and for you – a glass of peach iced tea with four ice cubes. you love it when he brings it for you. even though he has bought packages and packages of the product, and you can drink it whenever yourself, it always tastes the sweetest when he brings it to you.
and he does, quietly setting it on the nightstand and taking a sip of his alcoholic beverage. he sets the short glass right next to your tall one with cherry blossom prints, before finally sitting on the bed.
your figure is half covered by the fluffy blanket he has brought you as a present from one of his tours. you had used it every day and night since, going as far as being whiny while it washed and dried. yunho didn't understand your love and attachment to an item like that, until you confessed one night, halfway asleep and a blubbering mess.
"you bought it for me. it means that you saw it and thought of me before doing that. you remembered me, yunnie."
and since then, yunho always looked for presents to bring you. but he was always rushed, and ended up buying you a lousy souvenir or a chocolate from the duty free shops. he promised himself to get you something even if it meant being late for his schedule next time.
the moonlight peeks through the blinds, illuminating your still flushed cheeks and smeared mascara. your tied up hands are hidden under the pillow where your head rests. softly, yunho pulls them from under it, fingers carefully undoing the knots he made himself. the knots which he crafted himself are thoughtfully put together and pretty against your skin. he was generous enough to let you pick the colour of the ropes, and your answer was always the same: lavender.
once your hands are free, yunho brings your wrists to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to each one before turning his attention to your resting face. his fingers itch to caress you, to touch you, but he doesn't wish to disturb your peace.
he doesn't have to, because his scent envelops you, and before he can react, your nose moves like a bunny's one and your eyes open. he can't help the smile that spreads on his lips when he sees your excited expression, just before you throw yourself on him and try to wrap your arms around his shoulders and back. but he is big, much bigger than you, so you decide that wrapping them around his neck is good enough.
"you came." you exhale into his ear.
"don't i always?" yunho has to peel you away from him, and you whine as a protest. but the way his lips lose the playful curve and his eyes become serious make you bite your tongue as a punishment. regret washes over your features, and yunho is quick to grab your chin with his hand, pressing his thumb on your bottom lip. "be good." he warns.
"yes, sir."
and it's all it takes for yunho to soften again, taking you in his arms and standing up. "take the juice for me."
with one hand you hold onto his neck, making it easier for him to carry you, and with the other grab the glass of iced tea from the nightstand. as if it's hard for him to carry you; he is so strong you must be light as a feather to him. without questioning him, you relax in his hands, until you feel him sit and set you on his lap. a blanket is placed over your bare legs, enough to keep you warm as you sit in the hanging chair next to the window. the man takes the juice from your hand, setting it on the window next to the sketch pad. he doesn't ask about it yet, not wanting to pry unless you tell him yourself. he is happy you've returned to your little hobby.
"are you cold?" he asks, cupping your cheeks and then hands to check the warmth. when you shake your head, he presses a kiss to your forehead, lips a plush cloud against your skin. "my pretty girl."
you only smile as a response, still recovering from your sleep.
"you've been busy today." he notices the rearranged watch collection on the shelf below the television. the plants are refreshed, the once sagged leaves now proudly sticking up. "tell me about your day, bunny."
it wasn't unusual for yunho to sit you in his lap and ask about your day. in fact, it was your favourite part of the day. the way he listens and looks at you with his pretty eyes, nodding along to your never-ending sentences, and those unfinished ones that get interrupted with a fresh thought that you will forget if you don't say it immediately, scolding you and playfully pinching your thigh when you stop yourself mid talking and apologize for being annoying. yet lately, yunho doesn't come as often. what was once an every day routine was now a once a week occurrence. even then, he'd come and check on you, laid with you until you fell asleep, then sneaked off and disappeared into the night.
you hated it. you felt stupid, and lied to. he'd convince you that he left just before you woke up, that he stayed the whole night. but he didn't know that you felt his absence the moment he stood up from the bed. there wasn't much you could do anyway. as if he would listen. yunho is as stubborn as he is handsome. insanely.
"i vacuumed, mopped, cleaned out the fridge and threw out the expired products, put on fresh bedsheets, swept the balcony, watered the plants, rearranged your watch and game collection." you listed, head resting in the crook of his neck and eyes fixed on the ceiling. then, you stopped. and so did yunho's soothing circles on your thigh as he held your body close to his. you swallow, thinking of ways to continue before he can sense the shift in your behaviour. "i turned the tv on, watched you. you were very handsome today, yunho."
yunho hums, and for a moment, you relax and almost sigh with relief. the hand that doesn't hold you cups your cheek, pulling your head away from the crook of his neck and resting it on his shoulder so he can look at you. "who was at the door?"
your blood runs cold in your veins. yunho knows you like the back of his hand, and the flaw is in you for not knowing it well by now. you swallow slowly, eyes still locked with his dark ones, not daring to look away. "a man." you know better than to lie.
"what did he look like?" he presses, tone still calm. and it sends shivers down your spine. it is like the calm before the storm.
"i didn't see. i promised i'd never look."
"then how do you know it was a man?" the dark haired man tilts his head, raising his eyebrow.
before answering, your remind yourself that you are telling the truth, and that you should be calm. "he yelled your name."
"and what did my little doll do?" his hand drops from your cheek to your neck, slender fingers lightly grazing the skin just under your jaw before they completely wrap around the neck. the touch is gentle and soothing.
"i ran to the bedroom and hid under the covers. i was quiet, i promise." you are quick to offer him your pinky as a proof. but he simply shakes his head, then presses his lips to your temple.
"good girl."
the grip on your neck goes from light and loose to tight, growing stronger with yunho pressing the sides of it and making you look at him with confusion. "what-?"
your eyes widen as his grip intensifies, ridding you of oxygen slowly and already making you gasp for air. "if..." he starts, face close to yours. so close that his warm breath washes over your paling face, and lips barely brush against yours. "...you ever open the door, or even look through the window while somebody is there... you hear me?" his voice is a mere whisper against your mouth. you nod frantically, hoping that he releases you if you showed obedience. "yeah? i'll kill you."
"ye-es..." you choke out, tears spilling down your cheeks. small hands wrapping around his big one in hopes of stopping him, but to no avail.
"i didn't catch that." he presses further. "do you understand? if you ever think of getting out of here, or even manage to escape somehow, i will hunt you down and kill you."
you stop fighting back, instead opting for nods and silent tears. "i understand."
"if i can't have you..." he takes a look at your squirming and crying state one more time, then finally releases you. "...no one can."
a sob leaves your lips, and your hands are quick to reach your mouth, hoping that he didn't hear or at least sees your remorse.
but yunho doesn't say anything. instead, he pulls you close to him, his clothed body warming up your half naked one. "it's okay." he coos. "it's over."
"was i good?" you dare ask. you need to know that you didn't ruin what you built with him. that he didn't lose his trust in you. that he won't leave you alone for a month again in this place.
"you were perfect."
and that's all you need to hear to be calm. the peach juice waters down on the window as yunho lightly swings the hanging chair, lulling you to sleep with his voice and kisses to your cheeks and forehead.
the next time you open your eyes, you are angry and throw a tantrum. the sheets are on the floor, as well as pillows, and if yunho found you acting this way, he wouldn't be very pleased. but you are getting tired of him putting you to sleep and sneaking off. the mornings where you woke up next to him are long gone. your heart aches for those days.
there is only so much mess you can make with your wrists tied, so you give up on letting your frustration out on the faultless objects. with the fluffy blanket wrapped around your shoulders, you make your way to the living room and slump against the cushions on the couch. only after sitting up straight do you notice a small paper bag and a fresh glass of peach iced tea. the pink cursive writing on the bag makes your eyes almost sparkle from joy. it's been a while since yunho has brought you something from the bakery you absolutely adored.
you don't bother with keeping the bag, instead ripping it in half and using it as a plate for the sweet treat. two eclairs: a pink one and a green one. raspberry and pistachio, just how you used to eat in the mornings with him. he'd get the pistachio for himself, and raspberry for you. and you always wanted a bite of his, and then regretted your raspberry one because his tasted better. and he was always happy to exchange it with you.
not once did he complain about you always ordering the same and regretting it. not once did he refuse to let you have a bite. not once did he say no when you wanted to switch with him. not once did he bring two pistachio eclairs. and you might've become spoiled because of things like that, and even though both of you knew it, none of you said anything about it, because you were both equally guilty. you for pushing him, and him for indulging.
but it worked. it always did. that's why you aren't sure why yunho has suddenly distanced yourself from him. you're trying to be good for him, take care of yourself for him, even go as far as leaving windows open as a sign that you could run away if you wanted to, but you won't. at least that's what you liked to think. deep down you knew that yunho would find you even if you dug yourself a grave and hid under a fake tombstone. he'd find you, and then... you don't want to think about it.
but you have no reason to run. he takes care of you. you are his little doll, and your only task is to be pretty and obedient. but lately, you only have to do that two or three times a month. the rest of the days you die of boredom, cleaning the place, rearranging the fridge, turning the furniture around so that the place looks different and fresh. you are running out of ideas.
now, as you flip through the channels on the television, you are working up the courage to tell him how bored you are. maybe ask for netflix or disney. you are tired of watching the same youtube content over and over again. you can feel your brain rotting as you try to keep up with the recent famous youtubers. a movie would've been more educational at least.
as you eat the pink eclair, you scroll on the phone yunho has gifted you recently, with a promise of you not texting or calling anyone else but him. he can track your activity, and has limited your access to certain sites and apps, which leaves you with a few games that don't require network and a music app. it helped with your boredom, but nothing will ever be as interesting as having him around.
your fingers work faster than your brain, and you end up entering the one and only conversation on the screen.
doll: you left :(
it was always schrödinger's cat with him. he will either get mad at you - like yesterday - or indulge in your whiny and pouty behaviour as he secretly enjoys it. the one way to find out is by opening the box - text him.
yunho: my schedule is packed, sweetheart. you know that.
doll: when will i be a part of your schedule?
yunho: don't push it
doll: but i miss you so much
doll: can i please please please call you? pretty please? just for a minute?
on the other side of the screen, at the other end of the city, yunho sighs. it seems you've become more impatient and needy lately, and he knows he is at fault. you wait for him all dolled up, only to fall asleep because he always arrives so late. then, you talk for a while, and he lulls you to sleep before he has to run back to his dorm.
he taps on the phone icon in the corner of the screen after checking whether anyone is paying attention to him in the dressing room. he is the last in line to get dressed, which gives him more than a minute that you asked for so nicely. he can't say no to you. not when he misses you too. but he'd never say it to you out loud.
you pick up after the first ring, and yunho can almost hear the wide smile as you greet him. "yunnie!"
"hi, sweetheart." his heart swells at your still raspy voice. you must've just woken up. "did you have breakfast yet?"
"i only ate the raspberry one."
"oh you naughty little-" yunho purses his lips. "so the pistachio is only good if it's taken away from me, huh?"
"maybe. i took a bite. it's really not as sweet as when i steal it from you." you playfully reply. "but, yunnie..."
"hmm?"
"i actually wanted to ask you something."
"ask away doll. what can i do for you?"
"next time you come over..." you hesitate before continuing. "would you bring me a book or something? pretty please? i get bored when you're not around."
"oh." yunho says, surprised at the odd request. he didn't know what he was expecting. perhaps that you'd ask him if he'd untie you. or something that he surely wouldn't allow. but he forgot how perfect and loyal you are to him, and how much he has lowered your standards. "of course. anything specific?"
"not really. you pick!" you are so happy that you'll get a book that you don't even care which one it is. "no scary ones, please."
the dark haired man chuckles into the phone. in the corner of his eye, he notices the group leader eyeing him as he gets dressed. yunho's smile drops, and he is forced to end the conversation. "i'll see you soon. don't go late to bed tonight. you need your beauty sleep."
"oh. leaving already?" he hears you pout. he'd give anything to playfully tug your bottom lip right now. "alrighty then. i'll go back to missing you until you come again. which is, what, in a week?"
"be good for me." he orders sternly. "no sassing me. and no tantrums."
"no tantrums."
"and no sassing."
"and no sassing, blah blah."
"dollie. i'm serious." he turns around so that his back faces hongjoong. the older man has taken a great interest in yunho's conversation. "be a good bunny for me."
"yes, yunho."
"good."
just before he lowers his phone to hang up, he hears your faint voice. a mere whisper, which he wasn't supposed to hear. but he did. "i love you, yunnie."
and it fucking shatters him and ruins him inside out.
"dumb little doll." he sighs, looking at the wallpaper of the chat of you dressed in his favourite outfit with two pretty ribbons attached to your hair.
jeong yunho didn't expect his schedule to end so early. tomorrow is monday - his day off. technically, his time off starts now, as he steps into the library at the great city mall. and he makes the most of it. a basket securely hangs from his hand, already halfway filled with books with eye-catching covers and interesting plot summaries on the back. you'll love these, no doubt. and even if you don't, yunho won't hesitate to come back and buy more.
he forgot how dull it is for you to stay in that apartment all day and all night. the least he can do is help you find another hobby while he is not there with you. though, he is working on being less absent. but no matter how much he tries, his work schedule seems to track his brain, because they love swamping him with new interviews and variety shows every time he even thinks of having time off. this time he will be careful not to complain much around the staff about his free time.
at the same time as him, someone reaches for the last book he had his eyes on. it was this month's bestseller, all over tiktok, and he needed to buy it. but so did the person next to him, because they held onto it and weren't planning on letting go any time soon. yunho sighs. he truly isn't in the mood for this right now.
just as he gets ready to scold the person, he notices that it is a woman. a young one. a pretty one. so instead of angry words he was ready to spew, yunho simply smiles. "hi."
"hello," she greets back. "my, you've got good taste."
both of them glance at the basket in his hand. the basket that is meant for you. yunho's smile quickly fades, replaced by a serious face and confusing the woman in the process. "it's for my girlfriend."
"oh." disappointment is evident in her voice. she lets go of the book, then opts to look at the shelves instead of the man so she can hide her frown. "well, she'll be very happy with that book."
"she will." yunho smiles to himself, imagining your excited face as you go through the books.
"you must love her very much. that is a lot of money in that basket-"
"that is none of your concern." his brows are furrowed when he looks at the blonde woman. what is it with love talk today?
"oh. you don't love your girlfriend?" she is confused once again.
her confusion is then replaced by fear, caused by yunho who grabs her by the neck and slams her against the shelves. "take your little book and mind your own fucking business. got it?"
he shoves the book into her hands. the woman nods frantically, eyes glossy with tears and hands shaking as they hold the book. finally, yunho lets go of her. the book is dropped on the ground, and she bolts for the door. only then does yunho realize what he has done. but there is nothing he can do about it. thankfully, he wears his mask. he gets to keep his job another day.
yunho spends more time at the mall than he intended. three hours later, he is finally putting the key in the lock and entering his apartment. you jump at the familiar sound, and he hears your footsteps all the way from the bedroom. he sets the bags on the floor just in time to catch you into a hug.
"hi, doll." he coos. you only hum in response, burying your head into the crook of his neck and inhaling the faint traces of his perfume. he smells of vanilla and musk, with a hint of sweat. and you love every bit of it. nuzzling your nose against the sensitive area on the neck right under his ear, you can't help but sigh with content. yunho chuckles, before lightly squeezing your sides as a sign to let go of him.
you do so, without whines or tantrums this time. he wasn't supposed to come for another week, and he has graced you with the sudden visit. and you will make sure he doesn't regret it.
"i want you to go to the bathroom and freshen up while i prepare something." he orders with a kiss to your forehead.
"yes, yunnie." you obey, already on your way to the bathroom.
it doesn't take you more than ten minutes to take a quick body shower, put on a new comfy sleep dress, and put your hair in a hair clip how he likes it. you almost skip through the hallway, the cold autumn air chasing your bare legs until you reach the bedroom where yunho hides. but when you open the door, he isn't there. only a few paper bags on the bed, and a box with a bow on top and small holes poked on the sides.
not sure if you can touch without him, you opt for sitting on the bed and waiting patiently for him. while he is gone, you glance at your chipped nail polish. you should've asked him for polish remover instead. you accidentally spilled it when you foolishly tried to multitask by watching television and painting your nails. does yunho notice things like that? will he say anything about it? what if you just paint over it? will it look bad?
your thinking is interrupted by the tall man entering the bedroom, with two glasses in his hands. one with whisky, and one in similar colour to it. you know it's your iced tea; its sweet scent envelops the room as soon as he sets it on the nightstand.
"my patient doll." he praises with a kiss to your head. his fingers find their spot under your chin, raising your head so that you look up at him. his other hand reaches for your hair that you have neatly pulled back into the hair clip. with a single motion, his finger hooks into a few strands of it, setting them free from the clip and letting them frame your face. "so pretty."
if you could physically melt on the bed right there and then, you would. the way yunho looks at you makes your brain mushy, and your legs weak. after all this time, he still has that effect on you.
"i got you something." he motions for you to stand up, then sits down and pulls you into his lap. your back rests against his chest as his does against the bed frame. you sit cross-legged, making space for the bags so you can reach them easier. he takes the box first, pulling it between his legs that hold you securely and in front of you. "go on, open it."
all the hesitation is gone as soon as he gives the green light. the bow is shoved aside, and so is the lid. a gasp leaves your mouth at the sight.
two light brown ears perk up at the newfound light, and soon enough, a snout peeks out of the box. it sniffs, and sniffs, until it gets the courage to climb out of the box and flips it over, trapping itself under it. yunho removes the box and throws it on the floor, causing both the animal and you to jolt lightly. then, he takes the almost hand sized rabbit in his hand, holding it for you to take.
"it's a rabbit."
"yes, love. it's a rabbit." he confirms.
"it's so cute."
"i know." he kisses your cheek. "a bunny for a bunny. now you'll have a little companion when i'm away."
you carefully take it in your hands, testing the waters. it is pure fluff in your hands, as soft as yunho's hair after a shower. a little ball of fur with two big eyes and big floppy ears. and it is all yours.
"what will you name her?"
"dawn." you have your answer ready.
yunho laughs fondly. "dawn?"
"it's my favourite part of the day." yunho then remembers you telling him how much you prefer sunrises over sunsets. sunsets make you sad. they mark the end of the day. and you hate when things end. dawn brings a fresh day, and the sun is as pretty when it rises as it is when it sets. "thank you, yunho. i love it."
"don't thank me, love. you deserve more than that for being so obedient for me. now go through the rest of the presents. i'll keep your bunny safe while you do it."
"uh..." you look at your tied wrists.
he manages to untie the knot with a single hand, keeping the rope in it and playing with it while you start digging through the bags. with each book you pull out you let out a squeal of excitement. if it weren't for yunho, you would've stayed up all night reading.
but he had other plans once you finished exploring, taking your hand in his and pulling you back into his lap. the bunny is fast asleep on the pillow next to him, making you his main point of attention. the last book is still in your hands, fingers flipping through illustrated pages of the limited edition and eyes gawking at it. the smell of whisky fills your nostrils, and you look up and find him taking a sip.
"what does it taste like?" you wonder.
yunho doesn't answer. instead, he brings the glass to your mouth, pressing the edge against your lips. "small sip. a tiny one."
you listen, keeping your lips closed so that only a small amount of liquid can pass through. something about this is so intimate: him holding you in his lap as you wear your sleep dress, a book in your hands, making you drink from his glass, not breaking eye contact as you do so.
and yunho's view is to die for. you look at him with those pretty eyes of yours, completely under his control and trusting him. your lips finally touch the whisky, and tongue barely peeks to taste it. you pull away, shutting your eyes and pursing your lips in disgust. "eugh."
yunho laughs, then downs the glass before putting it on the nightstand. "let's stick to your peach iced tea, hm?"
you nod in response. then, yunho finds the second light switch above the bed frame, turning it off. the moon is almost full, resting its silver rays on the bed and lighting up yunho's face. you'll never get over how insanely handsome he is. he is almost unreal. sometimes you even ask yourself whether he is a fruit of your imagination from staying alone for so long. no man you've met was this majestic: with hair as black as a raven, eyes dark and shiny as a starry night, porcelain skin, pretty nose with a little bridge where he rests his glasses, and oh, the prettiest pink lips. many times you've found yourself gazing upon his lips as he spoke or ate. and many times you wanted to close the distance as he held you on his lap while he read something or simply scrolled on his phone.
but you can't. yunho doesn't like being touched. at least that's what you gathered from the way he jumps when you try to remove a fallen eyelash from his cheek or straighten a sticking strand of hair. yunho gets very jumpy if you even hug him without warning. and you like to think that he is like that with everyone. that you aren't the issue.
but no matter how he behaves towards you, whether he is distant or can't keep his hands off you, he is still royally beautiful.
"thank you, love. you're not bad yourself."
blush creeps up your cheeks. you didn't mean to say it out loud. but yunho doesn't mind, and instead pulls a cover over both of you and sets the book aside. your legs are cold against his warm ones, still clothed. "won't you change?"
"i'm too lazy." he admits.
"can i change you?" you offer, sitting up and leaning on your elbows.
yunho smiles, eyes still closed. "i'd like to see you try."
in no time, you find his dark blue silk pajamas. that's the easy part. the hard part is yet to come. yunho is strong, and heavy. and big. blush warms up your cheeks once again as your hands find the hem of his turtleneck. he looks dashing in the tight turtlenecks and slacks. but right now, you'd rather see him comfortable. he deserves it after all the hard work.
he only helps you by raising his hands and head in the air just enough for you to pull the top off. you drink in the sight of his muscles, while his torso is covered by an undershirt. you pull the pajama top over his head, then his arms, and finally fix the collar. your eyes then fall on his belt. swallowing thickly, your fingers unbuckle it, and it causes yunho to grab your hands and stop you.
"i'll do it."
"what? why?" you're disappointed.
"i'll do it faster. i'm getting pretty sleepy, we should go to bed."
no amount of pouting convinces him to let you continue. he is out of his slacks and into the pajama bottoms in no time, giving you no time to sulk on the bed. he scoops you in his arms, throwing the fuzzy blanket over both of you.
"good night, bunny."
"whatever." you mumble into his chest.
the hand that rests on your lower back sinks to your bottom, pinching it lightly. you squeal, jolting away from his hand and further into his body. "behave."
"sorry." your voice is a mumble again. "yunnie?"
"go to sleep."
"but yunho." you whine, fingers playing with the buttons of his top.
he sighs. "yes?"
"what am i to you?"
that yunho cannot answer. simply because he has worked so hard on the relationship you two have. if he tells you, he might ruin the illusion. and you might remember. you might remember that it is not normal to be tied up and locked in a stranger's apartment. after all, you don't know the true him. that makes him a stranger to you. he has ridden you of any desire you had to escape, and instead made you depended on him. he has destroyed you, scared you so bad to the point that you started seeing a friend in him. he doesn't know whether you woke up one day and accepted your fate and decided to play along with his sick and twisted games of emotions and obsession, or simply had a switch in your brain click and made you the way you are right now. a loyal and obedient little pet for him to gawk at, dress up however he wishes, and keep locked away where nobody can find it.
he knows it's not normal. he knows his sins. and he knows that behind the loving eyes you give him that there is hate pushed down so deep, scared to make an appearance. he has pushed it there with his own actions. he also knows that just because he recognizes his flaws doesn't make him less guilty. moreover, it makes him even more evil. he knows, yet he doesn't stop.
he wishes he can, really. he wishes he can untie you, let you go, live a normal life, find a girlfriend, stop sneaking out of his dorm at late hours and return at early ones. hell, he could've asked you out on a date instead of putting his hand over your pretty mouth behind the concert stadium and drag you into his car. but then everybody would see you. somebody might even want to take you away from him. and yunho can't allow that. you are his to see, his to touch and his to keep.
you belong to him, heart and soul.
"does it matter?" his voice comes out as annoyed, but it doesn't affect you.
"a little." you admit. "you don't kiss me, but you give me affection other ways. what does that make us?"
it makes you my prisoner, and me your captor. you just don't know it yet. or maybe you've grown blind to it. maybe i've broken your perception of how things actually are. maybe i've convinced you that this all is normal.
"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have asked." you notice how tense he is under your touch. "good night."
but yunho doesn't want to leave you without an answer. he kisses your temple, then your cheek, and finally, your ear. his lips stay there, brushing against the sensitive ear shell as his warm breath tickles you. "you're mine. that's all that matters."
"are you mine?" you ask.
yunho sighs, pulling you closer to him and completely wrapping his arms around your shivering body. "good night, doll."
you wake up in a cold and empty bed again. excluding the curled up rabbit next to you.
and you are furious.
blinded by rage, you reach for your phone, not even noticing that your hands are still untied. usually he'd tie them up while you are halfway asleep or completely asleep as to not disturb you. before you can press the call button next to his name, the bathroom door opens, revealing the man you were about to scold. he has discarded his sleep top, leaving him only in bottoms and a sleeveless undershirt.
"thought i heard you wake up." he smiles. "come, let's get you ready for the day. i let you sleep in enough."
the phone is forgotten in the blanket, and your legs carry you into the bathroom. he has a toothbrush in his mouth, and his hair is a fluffy mess. you love when he looks this soft. he is less intimidating. not that you are scared of your yunho. he wouldn't hurt you. only if you give him a reason to.
noticing your bare feet on the cold tiles, the man picks you up and places you on the counter near the sink. he hands you your own toothbrush after he squirts the paste on it. comfortable silence swallows the small bathroom, the only sounds being the teeth brushing and yunho's light humming to a song as he stands between your legs that hang from the counter, swinging along with yunho's song. his hand rests comfortably on your thigh, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the exposed skin below the dress.
you've noticed he loves your thighs. to touch them, to pinch them and caress them. and you don't mind. in fact, you love that he can't get his hands off you. it makes you feel attractive. you hope you are attractive to him. sometimes it doesn't feel like that. you look at him with loving eyes, and he... he looks at you like you're his most prized possession. you're just an eye candy. a doll he comes to play with and dress her up just to feast his eyes. perhaps the fault is in you. you don't attract him enough. it could be your appearance. you should switch from the comfy silk sleepwear he has gifted you in every colour so you can be comfortable around the house into something more appropriate and mature. or maybe it was your behaviour. you are so depended on him that you often end up feeling extremely childish.
yet he insists that he loves doing everything for you. he loves to see you in the pastels. he loves when you ask him for help. and he loves making you ask for help by closing the jars too tight, or putting the glasses on the top shelves where you can't reach even if you climb on a chair.
"hey." his finger playfully taps your nose, noticing you have stopped brushing. "where did you go?"
you shake your head, ridding your brain of the thoughts for a while. "sorry. were you saying something?"
"i said," he takes the toothbrush from your hand and continues brushing your teeth for you, holding your jaw in his palm and head in place, then continues talking, "we have a busy day ahead of us."
"sho... you're shtaying all day?" you mumble with foam in your mouth.
"i'm all yours today." he finishes brushing, then motions for you to spit in the sink. you do so, earning yourself a playful pat on the head. "good girl."
"you have a little stubble." you notice, fingers reaching to touch the short hairs on his face. it is not often that yunho lets you touch him like that, so when your hand cups his cheek, you are surprised when he simply looks at himself in the mirror with furrowed eyebrows. he doesn't remove your hand, and you savour every second of it.
"suppose i do. i should shave it off." the man runs both toothbrushes under the warm water, then sets them in the cup next to each other. his dark blue one with black bristles is a funny contrast to your lavender one with white bristles. it's like they resemble the two of you. maybe that's why he bought them. "want to help me?"
"help you?" you raise your eyebrow. he doesn't answer. instead, he hands you his razor, showing you how to properly hold it. while he smears the shaving foam on his face, you can't help but take secret glances at his exposed arms. he notices, then looks down at his undershirt.
"right, i should probably take this off." with one single motion, the fabric lands on the floor and he steps on it. you are left gawking at his bare torso. he doesn't usually undress in front of you. this is the first time you see his defined body. he looks absolutely dashing, and the sight makes your stomach feel fuzzy. you instinctively try to close your legs, but forget that he is standing right between them. "come closer."
you are now sitting on the edge of the counter, and if it weren't for yunho's hands holding your thighs and keeping your body steady, you would've kissed the cold tiles below his feet. he guides one of your hands to his face, then lets you figure it out on your own. you hesitate. "what if i cut you?"
"well... try not to, i guess." he shrugs. "i want to be pretty for you too. just as you do for me."
as gentle as possible, you swipe the razor over his cheek. it leaves a smooth trail behind, without any red lines or spots. little by little, your smooth faced yunho appears, and so does a smile on your lips. with one final swipe, you finish, not cutting him once in the process. "all done!"
"good job, bunny." he praises with a kiss to your forehead. "come on now, let's get you dressed. as i said, we have a busy day ahead of us."
when yunho said busy, you thought he meant cleaning the house or helping him with something. not standing in line at an amusement park with your hands untied. you haven't been outside in forever, if you exclude the balcony. today, yunho has decided to surprise you with a trip to an amusement park. he looks comfortable and fresh, wearing a simple black t-shirt with black ripped jeans, a leather jacket and sneakers. beside him, you are dressed up in his hoodie and his sweatpants, and his denim jacket. somehow, your clothes have been disappearing little by little, leaving you with only sleepwear. does it have anything to do with the fact that he likes to see you in the pastel sets he keeps bringing over instead of actual clothes? no, of course not.
yunho did make you promise him a few things before exiting the house:
no distancing yourself from him
no talking to other people
no looking at other people
no going anywhere without asking him first
no yelling each other's names
keep the sunglasses on your face
have your phone in your hand at all times in case anything happens and one of you needs to get a hold of each other.
and you happily agree. you wouldn't do the opposite even if he didn't make you promise all those things. yunho is all you have, and without him, you'd be overwhelmed and lose yourself. the place is enormous, everything shining bright into your eyes and looking the same. no wonder people get lost there all the time. or perhaps you're just used to the dark apartment that seems to be getting smaller and smaller each day you wake up.
"what would you like to do?" he asks once he shows the tickets at the entrance and guides you inside.
"me?" you are confused. "i- i don't know."
"we have two hours to have fun. we'll do whatever your heart desires."
"really?"
the eyes you give him as you look at him all excited is the reason yunho has you all to himself. those same eyes that have looked at him from the first row at the concert, and he could not look away. you smiled so bright at him when he gave you attention, and when he saw you outside of the stadium, he knew he had very little time. and he knew he had to take you for himself. you were so sweet, and so pretty. simple things excite you, and the sight of you almost beaming is what warms yunho's heart. then, he starts to think that he might've made a mistake by bringing you here. someone could see you, and take you away from him.
no. he will not allow it. he'd rather kill you than let anyone else have you. and that's a promise he made to himself the first night he tied the pretty knots on your wrists.
"yunnie...?" your voice pulls him out of his thoughts.
"hm?" he brings his attention back to you. your eyes have lost the excited glint, and are now filled with worry. his sudden serious face must've scared you. "right. what did you want to do?"
"can i try that?" you point towards a stand.
yunho isn't surprised when he turns around to see big stuffed animals hanging from the stand, and multiple small ones arranged on the shelves against the wall behind the vendor. "do you want to play by yourself?"
"can i?"
"you may."
you roll your eyes at his correction. but before he can scold you for it, you squeeze his hand and drag him to the stand. the game seems simple enough: three balls to throw, and three pyramids of different objects to topple. yunho pays the vendor, then stands aside and lets you focus.
"go pink koala." you whisper, keeping the balls close to your chest. you don't miss yunho's chuckle from the side. "hush! i'm concentrating."
but no amount of concentrating got you the big stuffed koala. even yunho was getting irritated as time passed by. not with you, but with the vendor. "are you kidding me?"
you stop mid throw, eyes darting to the tall man in fear. you haven't done anything wrong. ...have you?
"you're telling me that those plastic cups didn't budge?" he approaches the counter.
the vendor shrugs. "are they down?"
"well, no-" yunho starts.
"oh so you aren't blind. just stupid."
oh no.
you can almost hear yunho's blood boil beside you. your hands instinctively wrap around his arm, hugging it to your body. "yunnie."
"step back." he orders.
and you do, letting go of him. to anyone looking, that would've seem mean and horrible. but you know why he told you to stay away. he doesn't want to hurt you.
"you're telling me," yunho takes a ball from your hand, "that this ball," he aims for the vendor, "didn't even budge those plastic cups?" and hits him right in the forehead.
when yunho is loud, you aren't as scared. it is when he is calm that you are terrified. and right now? he is as calm as the stuffed animals sitting on the shelves behind the man who holds his forehead. yunho crouches to the floor, enough to pick up a ball sized stone. he aims for the first pyramid of plastic cups, and throws with such strength that it manages to bring them down. he takes a second one and does the same with the glass bottles, breaking them and sending shards flying everywhere. the third rock hits the clay mug at the bottom of the pyramid, causing it to ruin the balance of the rest of them and fall to the ground with a crashing sound.
"okay, okay!" the short vendor is desperate. "take the fucking prize and leave my stand!"
"with pleasure." yunho smiles with satisfaction. you don't have time to look at him in awe because he picks you up on his back and approaches the hanging stuffed animals. "go on, angel. help yourself."
your hands know where to go, immediately grabbing the pink koala that is half your size. when yunho doesn't set you down, you look at with a raised eyebrow.
"that's all you want?"
"i can take more...?" your eyes dart between the terrified vendor and an amused yunho.
"we can take the vendor if you want."
you're not sure what is funnier:, yunho's laid back attitude or the vendor's face. in one thing you are sure: you are taking that big grey elephant.
if someone had told you yesterday that today you'd freely walk around outside with yunho by your side, both carrying a big stuffed animal that made every child passing by jealous, you'd say ha, i wish. if someone had told you that today you'd hold hands with yunho as you pass by various stands and he offers to buy you anything from it, you'd say ha, you're crazy. and if someone told you that after a rollercoaster and a haunted house yunho would take you to the ferris wheel and demand that the cabin isn't to be shared with anyone, you'd say ha, your imagination is wild.
yet here you are, sitting inside the cabin high on the ferris wheel, stuffed animals sat across from you and leaning against each other. yunho sits by your side, a cup of chocolate chip ice cream that you have picked just before getting in line in his hand. there was a no food allowed sign, but yunho would rather fight the teen boy in charge of checking tickets than see your disappointed face again when you read the sign. luckily, a single glare from yunho was enough to stop the boy mid sentence as he read it out loud.
"i can feed myself you know." you pout as he brings the plastic purple spoon to your mouth. he specifically asked for that colour.
"i know." he simply replies.
"then... may i?" you reach for the paper cup, but he pulls it away. "please?"
"why?" he brings the spoon to his mouth once it starts melting off it as to not stain your - his - clothes. you blush furiously, the thought of eating off the same spoon as him making your stomach fuzzy. "i like to pamper you. besides, dolls need maintaining."
"they also need to be played with more often." you cross your arms over your chest.
he doesn't respond, instead offering you another spoonful of ice cream. you are distracted by his piercing gaze, unable to look away. it leads to you almost missing the spoon, making most of the ice cream land on your lips rather than between them. and it's like something switches inside of him. his gaze drops from your eyes to your lips, and his hands set the cup down.
"do you have a napkin? i'm a mess-" you start licking your lips. before you can wipe the rest with the sleeve of the hoodie, yunho stops you by grabbing your wrists with one hand and looking deeply into your eyes, just before pushing you down on the seats with his other one on your chest so that you are laying with him on top. "what- what are you doing?"
"stay still." his voice is a mere whisper, a warm breath against your face. you gulp, a little louder than you intended. but he doesn't laugh. his face doesn't change. it is dead serious, with his brown eyes becoming as dark as his raven hair. his pupils are so diluted that they give the illusion of turning black. and you're not sure whether it is good or bad in this situation. "dollie..."
you lay perfectly still. the wheel has stopped, letting the visitors enjoy the view and take pictures. yunho, however, couldn't care less. not when he has you pinned down below him, hair beautifully splayed out, cheeks pink with blush, and eyes shiny and curious. and that damn ice cream on your bottom lip. he closes his eyes, then leans his forehead against yours. his nose gently brushes against yours, sending shivers down your spine and almost making you shudder. that, along with the way his one hand effortlessly holds both your wrists pressed into the leather seats has you seeing stars.
"fuck," he sighs against your lips. "fuck, what are you doing to me?"
"did i do something wrong?" the question is genuine.
"no, no." he shakes his head. "no. you're perfect. you're gorgeous. you're everything a man could ever want. you're everything i want."
he pulls away for a split second, eyes roaming your face for any signs of discomfort. when he doesn't see any, he licks his lips, then gulps.
"you're making me weak." his voice is velvet in your ears, gentle and soothing. his free hand moves the loose strands of hair out of your face, caressing your cheek in the process and continuing the path to your jaw to cup it. "and you don't even know it."
his plush lips capture your bottom one between them, tongue swiping across it to lick the ice cream off. you shudder beneath him, body arching off the seats and finding comfort against his warm chest. his hand lets your wrists go, as well as your jaw, only to find their comfort on your waist. you've never done this. yet your hands seem to move so naturally towards his hair, fingers sneaking between the soft locks and gently massaging his scalp as he nibbles on your bottom lip. a rush of heat takes over your stomach and the space between your legs. the feeling so good and new, yet so empty. you need more of him. you crave him now more than ever.
when he pulls away, it is because he needs to catch his breath, and so do you. his lips have turned a darker shade, and are so inviting to touch. and you do so, allowing yourself a moment of braveness. digits reach for his plump lips, the touch so light that yunho's lashes flutter. he can't help the desire that takes over his body and mind, pinning you further against the seats with his body and squeezing your bare waist underneath the hoodie. "you're killing me."
"how?" you didn't mean for your voice to come out so... pathetically raspy. you clear your throat. "is that bad?"
yunho chuckles in between shallow breaths. "god, you're so precious."
his lips lock with yours once again, leaving small and gentle kisses on them. until your tongue shyly peeks out to try the waters and be smooth like him. and it sends him over the edge. it makes him sit up straight and pull your body with him so that you sit on his lap, legs spread and resting on each side of him. one of his hands snakes further underneath the hoodie and follows a trail up your spine, feeling up your bare skin that burns and shivers beneath his metal rings. yunho can't keep his hands to himself anymore. he kisses you deeply, with his tongue chasing yours and seeking for a taste of you.
you taste him too, enjoying the mix of the chocolate chip ice cream and him. and he tastes better than you've ever imagined. he is intoxicating, leaving you yearning for more each time he pulls away to breathe. your body responds to him, seeking the warmth of his and aching to be held and touched. you are touch starved, and he is at fault. he might be able to redeem himself. especially when his lips take a detour from yours and continue down your jaw and to your neck. his hot tongue swipes down it, following an imaginary line and lightly grazing his teeth against your sensitive skin.
"yunnie..." you wish to call his name, but it comes out as a breathy moan. "please."
yunho pulls away, gulping once again. "what?" he breathes out.
"i- i don't know." you admit. "i need something. i need you."
"doll." he warns. "you can't say things like that."
subconsciously, your bottom lip sticks out in disappointment. you already know that he will playfully tug at it. except this time, he doesn't. he looks you with a gaze so intense that it makes you feel the smallest in the world. "sorry."
"love," the man sighs, regretting his tone. his hands cup your cheeks and bring your face close to his again, enough for him to leave a kiss on the tip of your nose. "i'd destroy you."
"what do you mean?" you should be scared. that can't mean any good, can it? just why are you squirming in his lap then, thighs aching to be pressed together and core burning up?
"oh, sweet little bunny." the realization hits him. you really are that sweet and innocent. "i just mean that..." he stops to think.
he won't be able to resist himself. and he doesn't want to hurt you. yes, he loves to see you cry. and yes, he has the twisted desire to see you split open on his cock as you cry and whine about how big he is, and how you can't fit him. to see pretty tears spilling down your cheeks as you enjoy the pain he inflicts on you, begging for more. he'd stop if you told him to, of course. he would never do anything to hurt you like that.
"you just mean that...?" you wake him up from his filthy fantasies.
his hands leave your body, only to rest on top of your hands which play with the zipper of his leather jacket. "i mean that you're not ready."
i just mean that i am not ready.
"you'll have to be a patient little doll. can you do that for me?" he tilts his head to properly look at you as your gaze is locked on his hands over yours. "angel?"
"yes."
"yes, what?"
"yes, yunnie."
"that's a good girl."
the wheel continues spinning, just when yunho gently removes you from himself and lets you sit on your own. all flushed and hair messy, you turn towards the windows, hoping to fix the situation while you pretend to look at the view and hide from his eyes. a click echoes in the cabin. then another, and another. you turn around to find yunho taking pictures of you from the opposite seats, a soft smile on his face as you try to hide into the hoodie.
"stop, i look horrible!"
"one more, come on." he approaches you, taking your jaw into his hand and making you look at him. he gets the perfect shot, your flushed face on full display, sitting so perfectly in his palm, with big eyes looking up at him. "perfect."
"my hair is a mess." you complain, hands struggling to fix the loose strands.
the dark haired man imitates your pout. "no pouting."
"i wasn't."
you jolt when his fingers tug on your bottom lip. he really loves doing that. "and no lying. you know how i feel about lying."
that you do. he hates lying more than anything. lies, white lies, being silent about things. it didn't matter. yunho hated it. your lips are too pretty to tell lies, he had told you once. truthfulness means a lot to him, and he appreciates it when it comes from you. "sorry."
seeing that he burst your bubble, he crouches in front of you, taking your hands in his and bringing them to his lips to leave a kiss on the back of each one. "i'll fix your hair when we get home. i promise."
the ride comes to an end, with yunho and you exiting last, each holding a stuffed animal. you walk beside yunho, content. you kissed him.
no, he kissed you.
yunho kissed you. it's everything you've ever desired for as long as you can remember. and it's better than you've imagined. his lips were indeed as soft as they looked, maybe even softer. his tongue a burning fire against yours, and hands molding your body like clay in his hold. you're feeling selfish, wishing for more. wishing that the wheel got stuck and left the two of you up there, continuing with the activity. as you look at his side profile - the one you can never get enough of looking at - you decide that you'll get more. you have to.
he has given you a taste, and you're already addicted.
"i need to use the restroom. sit here and wait for me." he places the stuffed elephant on a bench nearby, then the koala on the other end of it. he guides you so that you sit in between, occupying the bench and leaving no space for anyone else to sit. "i could just put you on my shelf and look at you all day long like this. stay here, got it?"
you're feeling foolish, having the whole bench to yourself. but what yunho says, you do. and you sit still, nodding your head playfully. "yes, sir!"
"i'll be right back. got your phone?"
"yes." you show it to him, secure in your hand.
"sunglasses?"
"on." you scrunch your nose, moving the sunglasses further up it.
"good. i'll be back in two minutes."
the feeling is strange. being outside, hands untied, a phone in your hand, and yunho not by your side. a light breeze caresses your hair, and the early setting autumn sun warms your face for one last time today. a once lost feeling creeps up on you, along with the fear of consequences. you've forgotten what it feels like. you've forgotten what free will is. you've forgotten what freedom is. and you haven't sought it for a very long time. and it haunts you, whispers in your ear, makes the hairs on your hands stand straight.
it lures you in.
it makes you stand up. take a step, then another. unsure at first, and a little wobbly. like you've forgotten how to walk without him. and then: you run.
you run through the crowd, around and behind the stands and tents, until your legs start to ache. you aren't used to this much cardio.
afraid that he might see you, you run into the nearest big tent. the entrance isn't the usual one, and you realize that somehow you've managed to sneak in through the exit. it takes a while for your eyes to get used to the dark. the place is poorly lit, with dark red lights illuminating the countless reflections that stare back at you. a mirror maze. out of all places you could've chosen.
you finally see your true form in the poorly lit mirror. hair a mess, face unrecognizable, wrists bruised. clothes that do not belong to you. and a pair of dark glimmering eyes that look at you from the shadows behind you.
"dollie."
how did he find you so quick? was he just testing you? testing your loyalty? did you even have a chance in running away? did you just let all that trust you built with him over the course of months or years fall into water?
but you won't let him catch you. and no amount of mirrors will stop you. you bolt for the exit, following the arrows on the floor that are upside down to you. you don't hear his footsteps behind you. perhaps it is your fear playing hallucinations on you. perhaps he is giving you a head start. or perhaps this tent was his plan too. for you to run in there, failing his test, and suffering consequences.
fear swallows you whole, causing your breathing to become shallow and fast, vision blurry, and legs and hands shaky. the faint red arrows aren't visible anymore, and you rely on putting your hands in front of you and touching your way out.
"i'm so disappointed with you, y/n."
no.
not the first name.
god, no. you can't do this again.
tears prickle your eyes, further blurring your vision. how could you have been so stupid? as if yunho is a fool. you've forgotten what he truly is. you've forgotten what you truly are. a prisoner, and its captor.
"i thought we were finally getting somewhere."
his voice is deeper than usual, echoing through the mirror maze. it makes you turn every few seconds, making sure that he isn't behind you, as if it wasn't enough to simply look at the mirrors in front of you. but your rising panic attack has your senses dull, and quickly you find yourself sobbing as you try to navigate through this torture labyrinth. every reflection is a punch to the gut, showing you your helpless frame and mocking you.
"you said you loved me."
he's close, then he isn't. you hear his footsteps, then you don't. and then, your eyes catch a glimpse of the tent's front opening up and closing. it's right there. just a few turns away. palms carelessly leave prints on the spotless mirror, and legs work hard to keeping your body up for just a little more. a few more turns. that's all you need to do.
a whiff of fresh air hits your face as you take a turn to the left, and you can smell the popcorn and cotton candy on the stands just outside the tent.
a hand is placed over your mouth, and another one around your waist, pulling you back harshly and colliding with another body. the feeling is all too familiar, repetitive even. nails desperately claw at his hands, but you know it's to no avail. you sob into his palm, tears streaming down your cheeks and continuing down his hand.
"you lied."
you are so stupid.
a light breeze caresses your cheeks. it is cold for your face, but your body seems to be warm and comfortable. even your hands. your eyelids peel open, and it takes a while to adjust to the dark. yunho's jacket covers your lap and hands, keeping you warm from the autumn breeze that enters through the rolled down window of his car.
yunho's jacket.
yunho's car.
yunho.
"no-" you gasp, jumping in the car seat.
yunho is quick to put a hand over your mouth. "hush. it's okay."
he doesn't keep it there long, removing it as fast as he touched you. he gives you time to look around and adjust to your surroundings. the first thing you notice is your hands, still untied, then, the street yunho is parked on. "what are we doing here?"
the man doesn't say anything. one of his elbows rests on his rolled down window, holding his head in his palm while his other hand plays with the lavender rope. you gulp, feeling the material on your wrists even though nothing is there. upon subconsciously rubbing your wrists, you notice that you don't wear his clothes anymore. you're wearing the clothes you thought were forever gone.
the concert outfit.
and the street? the street where you live. and your house at the end of it, the yellow trees preparing for winter and shedding their leaves.
"yunho...?"
he scoffs. "you never call me that."
you don't know what to say. you opt for silence, looking at your house in the distance and wondering why he has brought you here. then, you speak. "you kept my concert clothes."
"i kept all your things." yunho sighs, then reaches in the back seat to retrieve a backpack. the familiar scent of vanilla and whisky almost hugs you when he leans back to reach for it, his neck exposed and close to you. you ignore the tingling sensation in your stomach. "here."
he opens it for you, revealing all of your belongings, including your phone. it is smashed, and it doesn't turn on.
"i had to make sure nobody could find you." he confesses. "there's an envelope with money for the new one in the backpack."
"i don't understand..."
"you can go."
you can... go?
he is letting you go? willingly? your gulp almost echoes in the car. legs frozen, and mind a mess, you remain seated. yunho doesn't look at you. he keeps his gaze locked on a tree by the sidewalk, monitoring the swinging branches and falling leaves.
"don't make me change my mind."
it feels odd. unnatural. as if you'll wake up soon. the strange thing is that recently you haven't dreamt of running away from yunho. even now, as he is openly offering you freedom. your bottom is firmly planted on the seat.
"that's it? just like that?" you dare ask.
"yep." he still doesn't look at you.
"you don't have anything to say?" you push further.
"if you think i'm going to apologize, i am not." his eyes finally lock with yours. and it still makes your stomach flutter. "you should really go."
you are overwhelmed - no, overstimulated - by feelings and thoughts. you are angry, and sad. months or years of this odd relationship with him, being in an apartment and not stepping foot outside, locked away from the world, cut off from the social sites, completely at his mercy. eating what he offers you and wearing what he buys you. having contact with him only. trying not to go crazy when spending multiple days alone, sometimes a month too. all because you did something that he didn't like and he was punishing you for it.
and he drops you off at your house. simple as that.
hesitantly, your hand reaches for the door handle after unbuckling the seatbelt, only to find it locked. a sigh leaves yunho's lips, and within seconds, the windows are rolled up and the car starts. "dumb bunny."
"what?"
yunho steps on the gas pedal. his hands grip the wheel with such force that it turns his skin pale. the speed of the car and sudden turns make your body toss around in it. the seatbelt uselessly hangs on the side. "dumb." he takes another turn. "fucking." and joins the traffic on the highway. "bunny."
"i'm sorry!" you choke out, hands frantically holding onto anything you can reach. breathing becomes a challenge as your eyes follow the way he skillfully overtakes other cars, going way past the speed limit. "yunho! yunho, please!"
"i gave you a chance to prove your loyalty. to see if you regret using the chance and running away from me at the park. to prove that you love me, like you said it." he seethes. "and you reached for the handle."
"you offered!"
"doesn't mean you should've taken the offer!" he yells back. his voice is animalistic, deep as he almost growls the words and loud, sending shivers down your spine and coating your body in sweat. he glances at you, enough to make you start trembling. his eyes are pitch black under the lack of lights on the highway and dilated pupils from anger. "you're mine, you hear me? mine!"
"slow down," you sob, "please."
"i told you once, doll. if i can't have you..." he takes a sudden turn, exiting the highway and continuing into the forest that surrounds it. he avoids trees, driving between them and scaring the animals away, until he finally stops in front of the lake that is hidden among the greenery that is now swallowed by the dark of the night. "nobody can."
a blood curling scream leaves your lips as your eyes meet your doom. yunho drives the car into the lake at full speed.
he doesn't exit. he stays inside with you, calmly looking ahead of him as the front of the car slowly starts sinking. his seatbelt holds him in place, while you are left tilted along with the vehicle. trembling hands reach for the man. even in this moment, you reach for him.
"yunho..." your voice is a mere whisper. "yunho, please."
"nobody can have you."
"they won't." you assure him.
"nobody can have you."
"i'm all yours."
"nobody can have you."
"please don't kill me."
brown eyes finally look at you. his gaze softens at your flushed and wet face. he has control over the situation. you just don't have to know that. this is where he wants you: begging him to spare your life, making sure to let you know that he is the only one you have. that he is all you need. and that there is no escape other than death from that. he would rather drown with you than let anyone else have you.
"i want to live." you beg.
you can't help but feel comfort when his hands cup your face. ringed fingers brush your tear stained cheeks, and he can't help but lean in and press his lips to a fresh one that started its journey down your rosy skin. "you'll live. with me."
yunho leans his forehead against yours. his warm breath caresses your lips - a bittersweet refreshment of your memory. how can a man kiss so softly, but touch so roughly?
"tell me you're mine."
a sneaky glance helps you determine the current danger of the situation. you still have time to exit through the trunk. but it all depends on yunho. if he has decided to not let you go, nobody can help you with it. "i'm yours."
"good girl."
the familiar feeling of rope is back on your wrists. you'd be lying if you said that it didn't bring you comfort. the outside world seemed scary enough for you to embrace being locked in. yunho isn't the reason. he only did what he had to do to put some sense back into you.
the red rope is tied into a complex heart between your wrists, and yunho gives it a tug to tighten it and restrain you. "there. all done."
"it's pretty." you compliment. you don't ask why the rope is red. you know. you get the red one each time you do a foolish thing, so that every time you see it, you are reminded of how you let him down. "thank you, yunnie."
to your surprise, he loosens it, enough to slip it off your wrists and not undo the knot. he stands up from the bed, then gently removes the sleeping rabbit from your lap and sets it on the floor in the hallway near the cage and food, before coming back and offering you his hand to stand up. you are still soaking wet from the lake, with his hoodie hanging around your waist to warm your legs. you accept it, standing up and leaving a wet spot behind on the sheets.
"i'm sorry."
yunho only smiles, pressing a kiss to the hand he holds, and guides you to the bathroom. "don't worry about it."
you are surprised at the sight once your bare feet step on the cold bathroom tiles. the bathtub is filled with steaming water, and a few candles are lit around it. your hand is abandoned by his for a moment, just enough for him to shuffle through one of the drawers near the sink. a towel awaits for you, neatly folded on the stool near the tub. your hands untie the hoodie around your waist, letting it fall with a splat. little by little, the heavy wet pieces of clothes form a pile on the ground. by the time yunho turns around, you are left in only your underwear, body shivering from the midnight breeze that sneaks in through the tilted window. yunho stops in his tracks, eyes falling on your exposed skin that is illuminated by the soft orange light of the candles.
"uh," his gaze drops on two packages in his hands. you feel a boost of confidence storming through your veins. "i got you these bath bombs. which one would you like?"
"you pick." you shrug.
yunho looks still avoids you, turning his back towards you and approaching the tub. his hands unwrap the light pink one, dropping it in the water and helping it dissolve faster by making circular motions with his fingers on the surface. he doesn't stop until the clear liquid becomes a milky white with a pastel pink hue, with rose petals floating on the surface. "milk and rose. you'll like it."
to your disappointment, he passes by you without sparing you a glance. you can't help the hand that reaches for his, fingers intertwining and eyes that have proved themselves useful many times. he flinches, as usual. but he doesn't let go. "stay." the word comes out in a whisper.
"doll." he warns. "be good and-"
his eyes widen when you climb on your toes and rest your hands on his shoulder, lips lightly ghosting over his. you don't touch them yet. not when his hands grab your waist, and not when a sigh leaves his lips and caresses yours. only then do you finally press them against his. fingers are eager to play with his hair on his neck, and body leans against his chest to seek warmth and comfort. and the brown eyed man gives it to you, pulling you into him so that your cold skin can rest against his burning one. you can feel him, even though there is a layer of material separating you.
when your tongue peeks out to swipe over his bottom lip, yunho pulls away. you can't help the whine that leaves your lips. "you're going to be the death of me." he sighs.
"will you stay?"
"and do what?" he tilts his head playfully. "watch you enjoy your hot bath while i freeze?"
"you could join me-"
"no." he firmly says. and just like that, all you've done with the kiss has fallen into the water. his hands abandon your body, only to find your clip that he has put there himself once he helped you out of the lake. your hair is still damp, and it falls loose when he takes the butterfly clip off. it was his favourite one. "go."
"but yunnie..."
"bunny."
"you won't see me naked." you finally say.
one of the rules with yunho was that you are not to see each other naked. even now, with only your underwear on, you were pushing it. yunho made sure to let you know that he doesn't want such things with you. you only need to sit pretty for him and be obedient.
"please? you can turn around while i undress and turn back when i get into the tub."
"you still haven't answered my question. what will i do while you enjoy your little bath?" he turns around, letting you free yourself from the damp underwear. they join the pile on the floor, right next to yunho. his eyes fall on the discarded panties, and he has to close his eyes and breathe in to keep his composure. you've come a long way from being too shy to ask for a glass of water.
"you promised you'd fix my hair."
once he hears the water gently splashing, he turns around. the water is murky, hiding your bare body from his hungry eyes. while you settle down in it, yunho wastes no time in getting a hairbrush and bringing the stool to the tub so that he is behind you and the only way you can face him is by leaning your head against the rim of the tub. he places a smaller towel on it so that your neck doesn't hurt while you lean back. "clever girl."
you fail to hide the proud smirk on your face. a sigh leaves your lips when yunho's fingers sink into your hair and massage your scalp. you can't believe that those same hands almost dragged you to death just two hours ago.
"stay still." his voice is a whisper. you haven't even realized that your head was leaning into his touch, dragging your body out of the water and exposing you just above your breasts. you sink back in, covered all the way to the shoulders. "good girl."
his voice has never sounded so husky and... deep. manly. a warm sensation pools at the bottom of your stomach, and seems to start bubbling and getting hotter when your fingers brush against your thighs. it is not the first time that yunho does your hair. he loves doing it. but something about him doing it right there and then had your mind spinning. you tilt your head back to glance at him. the sight is both cute and funny: yunho dressed in all black, with a serious and focused expression as he does the familiar braid in your hair, and a lavender scrunchy on his wrist. soon enough, he pulls that scrunchy off his wrist and ties your hair with it, then keeps it in his hand to play with it.
"my pretty girl." he coos. his other hand reaches to caress your cheek, and a smile spreads on his lips, seeing how your body immediately responds to his touch. you sigh in content, nuzzling your face further into his warm hand. "do you trust me?"
"yes," you respond, lost in the way his hand trails down your neck and grazes your collarbones. "yes, i do."
yunho hums. your braid is left to hang in the air while he reaches for something. you trust him. which is why you keep your eyes closed, not bothering to see what he is doing. a gasp leaves your lips when you feel something hot on your collarbones, and your eyes shoot open.
yunho holds a candle above you, tilting it so that hot wax drips on your body. the feeling is strange. the pain is there, yet it adds to the fuel between your legs. he sets the candle back on the flat rim of the tub, then reaches for another one. "yunho-"
"you can take it." he encourages. he tilts it again, and you can't help the shuddering sigh that leaves your lips when it falls on your chest, grazing your tense nipples. "does that feel good, dollie?"
you can only nod while your fingers reach to touch your sensitive breasts. they accidentally graze the perky buds, and if you didn't bite your lip in time, yunho would know what you were doing under the murky water.
"words, precious." he tilts the candle again, more wax coating your collarbones and neck as his other hand still caresses your cheeks. "let me hear you."
"it feels good, yunho."
yunho usually hated when you used his full name. he loved your nickname. but now, as he listens to you say his whole name in almost a breathy moan, he can't help but gulp and bite his inner cheek. "one more."
fingers trail from your breasts to your core, digits eagerly pressing into the plush folds and giving you a lick of satisfaction. when yunho brings a fresh candle to your body, you can't help the impatient whimper that leaves your lips, causing him to lose it and pour it all at once on you. his pants tighten at the sight, dried wax coating your burning skin, flushed cheeks, parted lips, and eyes rolled back. your head is still resting on the rim, tilted so that he can look at your pretty face that has a warm orange hue due to the candles.
then, he notices the water moving. and he notices your hand that has disappeared under it. yunho yanks your braid, making your eyes widen. "are you touching yourself?"
you know better than to lie. but you also know how much yunho doesn't like when you touch yourself. he gets jealous, he says. yet he won't ever touch you. your hand freezes between your legs, but no matter how slowly you try to remove it, yunho already knows. it doesn't fix the damage.
"stupid little bunny."
as if you want him to meet his end, your eyes become glossy with tears, and your bottom lip quivers. he didn't mean to make you cry. but you knew the rules. and you never broke them. sometimes you'd threaten that you would, only to rile him up and make him give you attention. you've never actually done it. now that you did, yunho is baffled. he hates that he wants to keep watching. he doesn't need to look at your body. your face is enough.
"i'm sorry." your voice trembles.
then, yunho's gaze hardens. it makes you worry for a split second, until his hands reach for your knees that peek out of the water. he separates them, slow as ever, and you swear you hear his breath hitch. "keep going."
"what?" you blink your tears away, to his disappointment.
"i want to watch." his eyes are fixed on yours. when you start rising from the water to give him a view, yunho shakes his head. "i want to watch you enjoy it."
you should've known by now that he has odd requests and ways of doing things. like insisting on feeding you. holding your hand or carrying you when going to another room. putting your hair in a clip by himself. choosing which clothes you'll wear for him. this, however, you did not experience yet.
"go on, pretty. i'll guide you." his soft lips leave a kiss on your forehead. "but you'll have to talk to me when i say something to you. got it?"
"yes, sir."
he nods as a sign to keep going. he doesn't have to do anything else, because your fingers are back on your folds. he gently tugs at your braid; a sign to stop. "patience." he growls. "cup your pretty breasts for me. don't touch your nipples just yet."
back to the start. your hands obey his command, and soon enough, your thighs find themselves squeezing together and rubbing against each other. fed up with your impatience, yunho separates your knees once again, now keeping his hands firmly planted there.
"tell me," he whispers into your ear, "if it was me touching you..." he trails.
you whimper at the thought.
"what would you want me to do next?"
your imagination runs wild. you'd want him to do everything. the things you can't even say out loud. things that would surprise him. so you settle for a simple one. "kiss me."
he chuckles. "that i can do."
he teases first, lips hovering over yours instead of touching. "please." you breathe out.
"touch yourself for me." he demands. "soft circles on your pretty buds."
when you do so, he finally presses his lips into yours. it is needy, and hot. the way his teeth graze your bottom lip, tugging it and nibbling on it while your fingers work on yourself. small whines are swallowed by his hungry kisses, muffled by his hot tongue against your inexperienced one. he guides you by slowing down and letting both of you savour every lick and nibble. if you weren't in the water, you are sure you'd be burning up.
one of his hands abandons your knee and reaches for yours that grips the bathtub rim, and he guides it back under the water and to your core. he only touches your hand, careful not to accidentally graze your thighs or your slick core. your fingers move with his help, slowly circling your clit and removing them when he feels your body become tense. he denies the sweet pleasure multiple times, enjoying the way you squirm under him and whine into his lips.
"yunnie-"
"yunho." he growls. "call me by my name."
"please, please, please." you chant. "yunho, please."
"sensitive?" he asks, knowing the answer. this time, yunho pulls away, opting to admire your face and finally focusing on you. "i'll make you feel so good, doll. make you wish for nobody but me."
"please do." pleas don't stop leaving your mouth. under other circumstances, you'd feel pathetic. but right now? you are ready to get on your knees and beg. "touch me."
"i can't." he stops.
you groan in frustration, losing the orgasm once again. "why not? why won't you ever touch me? why do you keep me if you won't do anything with me? am i ugly to you? am i that unappealing? am i not enough sexually attractive? am i too inexperienced for you? is there someone else? if there is, why am i here? what do i have to do to-"
in a single motion, yunho pulls you out of the water. it splashes everywhere, including his clothes. the look on his face changes. he is furious. you are pulled into the room, water dripping behind and leaving a trail all the way to the bed. he doesn't seem fazed by the fact that you are completely naked in front of him, and that he has seen you, and thus, broken his own rule. yunho throws your body on the bed, then reaches for the red ropes on the night stand.
"no, no-" you regret your words. "i'm sorry! i didn't mean it!"
"shut the fuck up." he growls. your wrists are back in the ropes, and he wastes no time in tightening them. he turns your body around so that you lay down on your stomach, and then pulls your braid so that your head is tilted back, just like in the bathtub. "look at me."
"yunho, please-"
"look." spank. "at." spank. "me." spank.
eyes finally lock with his. even through the blurry vision, you can see just how dark they have become. you always do this. you build something, little by little, and then you become greedy and ruin it. "i'm sorry."
"what do you want?"
silence. the pain on your scalp softens, with yunho loosening his grip. his brows are furrowed, and you know you've made him more furious than ever, just by the look on his face. "what?"
"do you want me to touch you?"
"i-" you do. it's all that's on your mind right now. he had given you a taste, and you want it all. "yes."
"after all i did to you?"
this time, you are the one whose brows are furrowed. he does know what he did to you. and he does acknowledge how bad it is. yet all of it doesn't stop your body aching for his. soul yearning for his. mind longing for his. you want yunho in every way possible. you want him to be yours, as much as you are his. only then will you be happy, and only then will you stop with the tantrums.
"yes." you confirm.
"oh, doll." he turns you over again, this time gently. finally, he looks at you. all of you. he can't help the hand that reaches to caress your wax covered collarbones and chest, traveling down your stomach and to your thighs. "if i touch you how i want now..." he trails, gaze locked on your shivering body. "you'll belong to me only."
"don't i already belong to you?" you point out.
"you don't understand." he shakes his head. "i'll make it so that your body only responds to me, even when we are out in public. i'll make it so that your mind doesn't dare to think of other men. i'll mold you so that i am your only match, mentally and physically. i'll make it so that your walls mold to the shape of my cock, and can only take me and nobody else. i'll make it so that you cry from pleasure every time i get my hands on you, and i set high standards for you, that even if you tried to cheat, you'd be disappointed and crawl back to me."
"yunho-" you breathe out, gulping at his words.
"i'll spoil you. i'll kiss you. i'll fuck you. i'll do anything you ask me to. just..." the man looks deep into your eyes before he removes a stray strand from your face, tucking it behind your ear. he places his hand under your chin, raising your head so that you can properly look at him with those glossy eyes of yours. "promise me."
"promise you what?"
"promise that you belong to me. me and nobody else."
"i promise." the words come out in a whisper.
he shakes his head, not satisfied with the answer. "say it."
"i belong to you, yunho. my body and soul is yours." finally, he is satisfied. "under one condition."
he raises one eyebrow, surprised at your request.
"you can have me as long as i have you."
"you have me."
"no, i don't. not like i want to. what if you meet somebody prettier? more interesting? i've seen your coworkers. they're all gorgeous. i can't compare to them. what if you decide you want a normal relationship and grow bored of me?"
one confession after another has yunho's gaze softening. he wishes for nothing more than to press his lips against yours and kiss you like there is no tomorrow. but he has suppressed your feelings and opinions enough. "i would never get bored of you. you think i went to such lengths for something that is temporary?"
"then why don't you ever touch me?"
"because," his finger stops the fresh tear from rolling down your cheek, "once i have you, i won't be able to keep my hands off you."
"i don't want you to keep your hands off me." you hastily admit. he opens his mouth to speak, but you stop him by capturing his lips with yours. he relaxes into it, letting you lead by simply opening his mouth and inviting your tongue in. he is already burning for you, as are you for him. you pull away for a moment. "you said multiple times that you like to pamper and take care of me. now you can properly show it to me."
"i will take good care of you." he breathes out, gracing you with a hot kiss to your lips before trailing down your jaw and neck. "i will be everything you could want or need." his teeth graze the collarbone, making your hands snake around his neck. "i will be yours as much as you are mine."
his tongue peeks out, creating a path between your breasts, down your stomach, until he reaches your pulsating core. his hands rest on your waist, keeping your body firmly planted on the wet mattress. it is odd seeing someone like yunho be mesmerized by something. seeing his eyes locked to your glistening folds and bottom lip trapped between his teeth made your stomach erupt with butterflies. he is still holding back.
suddenly, the red rope catches his attention. you are still tied up. but when he goes to undo the knot, you stop him. "i want to keep them on. so you know i truly belong to you."
"doll..." voice pure velvet, yunho looks at you from between your legs. "what do you want me to do?"
you think. and think. but really, it is that simple. "everything you wanted to do, but you held back."
"you don't know what you are asking for." he warns.
"you said you'll do anything i ask." you remind him of his words spoken just minutes ago. "i ask you to not hold back."
with a groan, yunho pulls your body to the edge of the bed, burying his head between your thighs and inhaling your scent before letting his tongue taste you. immediately, your back arches off the bed, and tied up hands reach to grab his hair. the grip he has on your thighs to keep them apart is strong. so strong that you know they'll bruise.
"fuck-" his fingers spread your folds, leaving your sensitive clit exposed to his flattened tongue. "fuck!" you cry out.
he barely slides one finger inside your tight walls, and you can already feel the orgasm rushing. he has denied it many times today already, and he decides to be merciful and close his lips around the bundle of nerves and suck until you fall apart on the bed and his tongue. he doesn't give you a break, instead pulling his mouth away from you and sliding another finger inside. "so pretty."
digits easily find the plush button on the upper wall, caressing it and stimulating it to the point of making you cry from pleasure. tears spill down your cheeks, hands grip at the sheets, and body arches from the bed while your walls clench around him. when you look down to beg him to give you more, you choke on your breath. yunho humps the edge of the bed, gaze fixed on the way your walls swallow his fingers as he chases his own release. "yunnie..."
"yes, pretty girl?"
"you're humping the mattress while i am here?"
"you look and taste so sweet. i don't want to ruin it." he admits.
a laugh escapes your lips, and is interrupted by a moan when his other hand rests on your overstimulated clit. "i want you."
and just how can yunho say no to you?
"i'll try to be gentle." vision blurry and mind hazy, you don't question how fast yunho has taken his clothes off. he is on top of you, planting a kiss on your forehead before guiding his aching cock to your entrance. you clench before he even slips inside, making it harder for his wide length to separate your walls. inch by inch, yunho gets lost in the feeling of you, and can't help but slam his hips into yours. a cry meets his ears, making him realize what he did. "oh, doll. i am so sorry."
"it's alright." you assure, a hiccup betraying you.
"you feel..." he pulls away, only to slide back in again in a gentler motion and let out a satisfied hum. "oh, you feel heavenly."
all you can think about it the bulge in the bottom of your stomach. you feel him deep, and it is as enjoyable as it is painful. he is thicker than you've imagined, or ever seen, and he splits you open so beautifully, easily gliding in and out. "i want... i want..."
"you're a drooling mess, dollie." he teases. and he isn't wrong. you are so intoxicated by his smell, his touch, and the way he gazes at you, that you can't do anything else but lie down and take what he gives you. "fuck, i'm not going to last long. that doesn't usually happen."
"i'll take that as a compliment."
yunho picks you up by your waist, angling your body off the mattress and finally snapping his hips into yours, reaching into the places you never knew you had and drawing cries and moans from you. "say my name." he growls against your neck, the sticky tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each snap.
"yunho," you gasp.
"louder." snap.
"yunho," you try, but you are weak already.
"louder." he yanks at your braid, sending delicious pain to your scalp and inching you closer to your release. "say my name. tell me who you belong to. tell me who's fucking you right."
"yunho!"
"good, good girl." he praises, and finally, lets you relax as he helps you reach the peak and spill. "i'll ruin you for anyone else."
it takes you over the edge of the peak, making your body explode with pleasure that rushes all the way to your toes, fingers and scalp. you shake under his touch, riding out the waves of pleasure while he still works on getting himself to orgasm.
it doesn't take long, seeing your state of flushed cheeks, half closed eyes that lazily gaze at him, and the knot between your wrists. he spills into you, filling you to the brim and pulling out, only to squirt the remains on your abused clit. warm seed spills out of your hole and onto the mattress. you don't protest when his fingers collect the white fluid, only to push it back in.
"fuck, you really are perfect." he kisses your cheeks, then your forehead, and finally, your lips. "i guess i'll go run you another bath."
"guess so," you laugh. you watch him run into the bathroom and get his phone from the nightstand in the process, and can't help but glance at his tushy when he walks. "and yunho?"
"hm?"
"i meant what i said. i am yours, as long as you are mine."
"yes, doll." his eyes are fixed on the screen, and he is lucky he is hidden in the bathroom. he skims over the message over and over again, wondering whether he was reading it right. if you weren't right there, he would've thrown the phone at the mirror. it was as if his reflection was taunting him. smiling at him. freaking him out.
hongjoong: i know what you did, yunho. i gave you enough time to correct your mistakes or admit to it. if you don't want the police involved, you better set the poor girl free and we'll never talk about this again. last chance.
they know what he did. and they won't be afraid to rat him out. but no matter what promises he made to you today, one thing is still clear:
if he can't have you, nobody can.
and if hongjoong tries to take you away from him, may all deities help him.
#ateez#ateez imagine#ateez smut#ateez imagines#kpop smut#ateez x reader#ateez x y/n#ateez x you#ateez oneshot#ateez oneshots#ateez fanfic#ateez fanfiction#ateez jeong yunho#ateez yunho#jeong yunho#yunho scenario#yunho#yunho smut#yunho angst#yunho fluff#yunho x reader#yunho x y/n#jeong yunho x reader#yunho x you#jeong yunho smut#jeong yunho fluff#yunho fanfic#yunho oneshot#yunho scenarios#yunho oneshots
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Forcing all of you to watch one of the best movies ever because I'm certain none of you have seen it:
Crayon Shin-chan: Arashi wo yobu - Môretsu! Otona Teikoku no Gyakushû
(Crayon Shinchan The Movie: Counter Attacking the Adult's Empire)
new question if you could force all of ur followers to watch/play through/read one piece of media what would it be
#Shin Chan was really big in Japan and over here in Spain‚ but for what i've heard it was pretty much unknown everywhere else#And like it was a pretty funny show‚ same thing with the movies plush those had some serious and sad moments#but this movie in particular just...#Me seeing this movie as a kid affected who I was today and it's message has helped me through the years and I'm sure it will again#I've wanted to analyze the movie on a post multiple times#but I don't think I can do it justice#The way the entire intro portion seems so much like filler but then so many details from that make sense at the end of the second act#second act that includes one of the best parts of any animated movie as we see Hiroshi's life with no spoken words just music#and the second half of the third act as they raze against time‚ and the animation starts to get rough along side Shin-Chan#PLEASE WATCH THIS MOVIE IM BEGGING YOU IT'S REALLY GOOD AND IT ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY OF HOW GOOD IT IS!!!!#Sorry for rambling
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truth or dare | s.j
in which your best friend, jake, finds out you want him and makes your fantasy come true.
pairing: jake x fem!reader
includes: f receiving oral sex, munch jake obviously, you touch his dick over the pants lol, stripping (lmk if i missed anything).
it was an accident, jake swore. not only was it an accident but it was partly your fault for leaving your laptop wide open for anyone to see.
you were in the bathroom and your laptop was pinging and pinging and pinging nonstop with text messages. jake was laying on your bed, his eyes glued to the tv, but he was beginning to lose focus from how often your computer was pinging.
finally, he couldn’t stand the sound anymore and grabbed your laptop from the edge of your bed. all he was going to do was turn it off and be done with it, but on the screen, he something that caught his eye.
your text messages were open and he saw his name so he just had to look, to know why you were talking about him with your friend.
his eyes widened when he saw why he was mentioned in your texts.
messages coming from you that started with fairly tame things like: “jake looks so good today,” “jake’s cologne is making me go crazy.”
but the more he scrolled, the more texts he found that were just purely vulgar, absolute filth like: “NEED him to eat me out till im crying,” and “bet he moans so pretty,” and even, “need his dick all the way down my throat asap.”
jake almost thought he was being pranked. he simply could not wrap his around the fact that you—his best friend of nearly five years—wanted him.
quite honestly, jake kind of thought that the two of you strictly had a sibling-like-friendship. you always teased him and fought with him like he was an older brother, and he always protected you and teased you back like you were his little sister.
but you wanted him. if those texts were anything to go off of, then you certainly did not see him as a brother.
suddenly, the bathroom door opened. jake practically threw your laptop back to the end of the bed and laid back against your pillows like he wasn’t doing anything.
you walked into the room and sat down next to him with a sigh.
“alright, did you pick a movie?” you asked.
jake wasn’t paying attention to a word you said. all he could focus on was how far you were sitting from him on your bed. how was he ever supposed to find out you liked him if you wouldn’t even go near him?
“jake,” you said, pushing his arm to get his attention.
“huh?” he said. “no, i haven’t picked yet.”
“jeez, what have you even been doing in here the whole time?” you wondered, taking the remote from him to choose a movie yourself.
you would definitely not want to know what he was doing just minutes before you came in the room.
-
jake didn’t focus during the movie. he couldn’t no matter how hard he tried.
how could he watch a movie when you were right there next to him, probably thinking about him and all the dirty things you wanted to do with him.
it was driving jake crazy. this new piece of information, this secret you’ve been carrying for god knows how long, jake had it now and did not know what to do with it.
“this movie is kinda boring,” he finally spoke.
“seriously? it’s nominated for like four oscar’s,” you responded.
“let’s do something else,” jake suggested.
huffing, you sat up slightly and turned off the movie. you then looked over at jake.
“what do you wanna do?” you asked.
jake shifted his body to face you instead of the tv. you tried to calm your thoughts, your thoughts that were far from pg, but he looked amazing. his black hair was slightly more grown out that normal and messy against your pillow. he was in a sweatshirt and sweatpants which is how you liked him best, in comfy clothes.
“we could play a game or something,” he suggested.
“what game?” you wondered.
“i don’t know,” he shrugged. “like, truth or dare or something.”
you snorted. “really?”
“c’mon,” he pouted.
by just looking at his face and that sweet little pout he gave, a flip practically switched in you and suddenly you would do just about anything he asked.
“okay,” you gave in. “truth or dare?”
jake pondered for a moment. he wanted to steer the game in a direction that would get you to admit your feelings for him. he needed to hear it from your mouth because he was still having a hard time believing those text messages.
“truth,” jake replied.
“okay,” you thought for a second. “if you had to hook up with one of your guy friends, who would you pick?”
“god, you’re the worst at asking questions,” jake groaned. “but sunghoon, obviously.”
“figured,” you replied. “your turn.”
“truth or dare?” he asked you.
considering you were comfy where you were laying in your bed, you didn’t want to pick dare in case he dared you to do something that required getting up.
“truth,” you said.
“if you had to hook up with one of the guys, who would you pick?” he asked.
you pondered. obviously you knew who you would choose but you couldn’t tell him that.
“i don’t know,” you lied. “probably heeseung.”
“yeah right,” jake scoffed.
“what?” you frowned. “he’s hot.”
jake could feel himself getting frustrated.
“your turn,” he said.
“truth or dare?”
“dare,” he answered.
“i dare you to show me the last picture in your camera roll,” you said.
you didn’t think much of it, but out of all the dares you could’ve given him, jake would’ve chosen anything else. he knew what the last picture in his camera roll was.
“actually, i pick truth,” he said.
“you can’t do that!” you exclaimed. “now you really have to show me.”
“i don’t think you wanna see it,” he tried to warn.
“what, is it a dick pic or something?” you joked. you joked. but then you saw jake’s face and his lack of words and knew that it really was a picture of his dick. “what the fuck, jake?”
“it’s not a full one,” he reasoned. “it’s just like…my bulge in a pair of sweatpants.”
yeah, you wanted to see it really bad. but you didn’t want him to know that. you didn’t need him to know that you were already getting wet at the mere thought of seeing that kind of picture of your best friend.
“well…” you trailed off, not knowing what to say. “a dare is a dare.”
jake tried not to smirk. he knew it, knew you wanted to see it.
he pulled out his phone and opened the picture. it was a mirror picture. he was shirtless in nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips, not even wearing underwear underneath. his outline was very clear since he was hard when he took the picture.
slightly nervous, jake handed you his phone. you took it, looking at the picture. it was even better than you imagined.
he didn’t miss the way you gulped and the way you instinctively zoomed in on the picture to get an even better look.
but you didn’t say anything. you didn’t tell him he looked good or anything. you just nodded and handed him his phone back.
“ok, your turn,” you said.
“what?” jake frowned. “you don’t have anything to say?”
“why would i have anything to say?” you wondered.
“because i just showed you a picture of…well, that,” he said. “you have nothing to say about it?”
“no,” you laughed. “gross.”
you were being so hard to get, it was actually driving him crazy. he knew you wanted him so why were you being so difficult about it?
“fine,” he scoffed. “truth or dare?”
“dare,” you said, hoping he’ll take it easy on you and not make you get up.
“take off your shirt.”
you immediately gave him a glare.
“dude, what?” you said.
“a dare is a dare,” he replied, repeating your words from a few minutes ago.
“why would i take off my shirt?” you asked.
“because i’m telling you to,” he responded, his eyes darkening.
the way he said it suddenly made you really want to take it off, wanting to obey any command he gave you.
you sat up a bit and started pulling your sweater over your head. all you had on underneath was a thin, light pink bra. your nipples were visibly hard beneath it and jake was already twitching in his pants at the sight.
once your shirt was off, you looked at him expectantly. his eyes flickered down to your chest and back up to your face.
he hummed in satisfaction.
“cute,” he said quietly.
it wasn’t much but the word went straight to your face, turning your cheeks red. oddly, you didn’t feel like covering yourself up. in fact, you would show more of yourself if you knew jake was going to compliment you.
“okay,” you whispered. “truth or dare.”
“dare,” he picked again.
“i dare you the same thing,” you said.
he was hoping you would.
smirking, he pulled his own shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor.
now, you were really starting to get nervous. you had no idea what was going on but you and jake were shirtless in your bed. you liked the feeling though, and you wanted more.
you stared at his bare chest and abdomen, the slight trace of abs making you squeeze your thighs together.
“like what you see?” he chuckled at you checking him out shamelessly. “wanna feel?”
“shut up,” you muttered, turning your head that other way.
“no, really,” jake said. “feel it.”
he suddenly grabbed your hand and placed it against his warm naked abdomen. he guided your hand up and down his chest so you could feel every part, every indent of his body.
he could tell he was finally getting to you. you were submitting to him, losing your uninterested demeanor and he was damn glad about it. he needed to uncover the you that wanted him desperately.
“mmm,” he hummed, basically moaning just from your hand rubbing his body.
he was bold when he very gently and slowly dragged your hand down even further until it was brushing over his waistband and to the front of his sweatpants, right where his growing cock was.
you looked up at his face in shock, but his eyes were closed. he was biting his bottom lip, fully engrossed in this and the feeling of your hand pressed flat on his covered cock.
he kept your hand there, not even making you move it or grip his erection, but just having you feel it. it was entirely hard and just having your hand on it, you could feel it pulsate.
weakly, you began to wrap your fingers around the outline, but he squeezed your wrist and pulled your hand off of him before you could.
his eyes opened and when you looked at each other, he just smirked.
“truth or dare?”
he asked it so calm and casually like your hand wasn’t just on his dick. you didn’t even quite know what to say, unsure how you were supposed to go about playing the game after that.
“uh, t-truth?” you sputtered out, purely confused about what was going on.
“how long have you wanted to do that?” he asked.
your heart seemed to stop beating for a moment.
“what?” you asked.
“how long have you wanted to touch my cock?” he wondered. “how long have you wanted me?”
“who said i want you?” you ask, eyebrows furrowing.
obviously you did want him, but you didn’t know how he knew that.
“i saw the texts,” he told you. he could still tell you were confused so he added, “the texts with you and your friend, talking about how badly you wanted me. god, the things you were saying were just filthy, y/n. i had no idea you felt that way.”
your heart sunk. suddenly, you didn’t want to do any of this anymore. you were utterly humiliated that jake found out you liked him and even more so by how he found out.
“jake, i-i—” you sputtered. “please. i don’t—”
you couldn’t figure out what to say.
“so?” he said. “how long?”
you bowed your head in shame.
“a long time,” you mumbled. “‘m sorry.”
jake tilted your head back up by your chin, smiling softly at your blushing face. you were so cute when you were embarrassed, he was almost doing all this on purpose.
“why are you sorry?” he asked. “i never said i didn’t feel the same, did i?”
this could not be good for your heart. all this slowing of your heart race only for it to pick back up again so quickly. but now you were filled with hope and excitement.
“really?” you asked eagerly, pathetically almost.
“c’mon, let’s keep playing,” he said.
“truth or dare,” you said.
“truth,” he replied.
“what did you think when you saw those texts?” you wondered sheepishly.
he chuckled a bit.
“i guess i was thinking about how i didn’t realize my best friend was so horny for me,” he said, his voice deep and sexy. you squirmed, your body unbearably hot. “now, truth or dare?”
you were nervous to pick dare to see what he would make you do next, but more than nervous, you were excited. so, you did it.
“dare.”
jake knew what he was going to dare you was bold, but he was hard as a rock in his pants and needed you now.
“i dare you to let me eat you out.”
he expected some kind of shock and disgust from you, but that was not the response you gave him.
ever since you’ve known him, you’ve wanted him between your thighs. so now that he was actually offering, why would you reject that?
“okay,” you whispered, still nervous despite wanting it.
he watched in surprise as you lifted your hips up and pulled both your pants and underwear down at once. you looked over at him, waiting for him to follow through with your dare.
“fuck,” he muttered, still in shock that you were suddenly naked right next to him. “didn’t know you wanted me that bad.”
you couldn’t argue. you did want him that bad.
he got up and positioned himself between your legs, face to face with your pussy. he held your thighs while he stared at it, in awe that it was really right there in front of him, his to devour.
“it’s so pretty,” he said, leaning in to place a kiss on your clit. “never knew my best friend had such a pretty little pussy.”
his words sent heat all over your body. you were embarrassed but more than that, you were just so unbelievably turned on. jake looked so good between your legs and you knew he’d look even better once he was actually eating you out.
“please,” you urged, jutting your hips up impatiently.
jake finally licked a stripe up your slit, starting from the bottom all the way up to the top. he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked on the sensitive bundle of nerves, moaning at the taste in his mouth.
“fuckkk,” you moaned out, head falling back against your pillows.
he alternated between sucking and licking your clit, using the tip of his tongue to rub it in little circles and watching the way it moved up and down and to the side. he was eventually just making out with it, eyes closed in concentration and pleasure.
after a moment, he pulled back, a string of saliva keeping his lips attached to your glistening pearl. he then leaned back in and starting licking up and down your pussy in firm, fluid strokes, gathering all of your arousal on his tongue and swallowing it.
you dug your fingers into his hair, tugging on the thick strands which only fueled jake even more. he moaned against your cunt, eyes rolling slightly from getting his hair played with and pulled.
“you’re so fucking hot,” he said, his breath warm on your pussy. “such a good pussy too. fuck, i want it all over my face.”
he dived back in, pushing his face into your pussy as much as he could. his nose rubbed against your puffy clit as his tongue delved inside your hole. he pushed it in as deep as it could possibly go, feeling your warm plushy walls around him.
“fuck, jake!” you yelled.
he sucked on your folds and back on your clit, suddenly intoxicated by the delicious taste of your pussy. it was just so hot, so sweet and tight and perfect. he truly could not get enough and genuinely wanted to drink your arousal.
“oh my god,” he moaned. “you have the sweetest pussy i’ve ever tasted, baby. fuck, it’s so good.”
your legs shook on either side of his head. you were feeling weaker and weaker by the second, his tongue moving like lightning and filling you with sparks.
he flicked the tip of his tongue up and down your slit, tilting his head to the side and resting it on your quivering thigh. the wet sound of his tongue flicking up and down your folds was driving you to the edge.
you couldn’t even warm him that it was about to happen. it just happened.
“mmm, i’m cumming,” you slurred, so drunk on the feeling that you could hardly speak.
you gripped his hair extra tight, pushing your hips up into his face. he ate your perfect cunt and drank every last droplet of your arousal that dripped out of you.
you were dizzy and moaning loudly and carelessly as you grinded your cunt against his face, riding out your high. your pussy was so wet, drenched in your own cum and jake’s saliva.
when you were finally finished, jake sat up and collapsed next to you, his lips, nose, and chin all glistening in your arousal.
you turned your head to face him, your cheeks red. the shock of what you two had just done was kicking in.
you weren’t sure what you two were supposed to do now and where to go from there. you were best friends and best friends weren’t supposed to do what you’d just done.
“wanna finish that movie?” jake asked casually, as though he wasn’t just tongue deep in your cunt.
“sure,” you agreed, as though you weren’t just cumming all over his face.
he wrapped his arm around you and played the movie again, the two of you laying there without acknowledging what happened.
-
:3 teehee munch jake :3 teehee best friend jake
thanks for reading!
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