#there is 1 viable candidate but itd be kind of weird for a lot of reasons namely that he’s younger than me (not drastically but still) and
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> “Yeah I just didn’t like the way smoking weed made me feel”
> feeling any emotional pain
> “god I wish I had some weed”
#eaii#it’s been months since I quit#I was basically mivrodosing weed and it was not helping the mild psychotic symptoms I was developing#but fuckkkkkkkkk#getting drunk is fine but I get hung over really easily#i need an edibles guy again#I want to Not Feel Like this#and I know that there are some dbt skills or whatever that I could be doing#but nothing beats smoking a fat one jerking offhand then passing out#my fwb message me and I want to go over#but if I do I’m going to start crying when he touches me (for want of human connection right now)#human connection despite literally not even knowing his name#i want to be in a relationship that’s good again#there is 1 viable candidate but itd be kind of weird for a lot of reasons namely that he’s younger than me (not drastically but still) and#we have all of the same friends rn. and like three guys this week professed their love to him and I’m not trying to be number four#my friends and I do the ironically overstating our relationship thing#‘I invited my beautiful husband [name]’#‘can I borrow your pen’ ‘yeah sure’ ‘dude are we about to make out right now’#and for most everyone it’s safely within the bounds of ironic jest#but with him it happens more often and with more sincerity than with anyone else#like he went with me to get smth from my car and on the way out we kept joking about how we were going to go have passionate sex in my car#and then he suggested that we trade clothes before we went back upstairs#you know. to imply that we had passionate sex#for this to work I would need to get over my Thing about dating other trans men#and also for all of our current social circumstances to be different
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