#these are pretty easy to guess i think
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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I like to think that there's at least one version of The Doctor out there somewhere in the vast multiverse who would've done anything to keep Jack Harkness by their side and never would've left him alone in the first place :((
#like youre telling me they were actually able to find someone#who loved them so much they were willing to spend pretty much all of their immortality with them#and they were just like 'nah i cant deal with all of this sorry' and then ducked out just like that??#i think the doctor has some sort of commitment issues#but then again i guess it must be pretty easy to grow use to never committing to anything#when everyone you love ends up dying eventually so#doctor who#the doctor#jack harkness#the doctor x jack harkness#mosses random thoughts
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i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.
idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.
#sorry i'm rambling i'm a little depressed rn (hah) and i've been thinking about murderbot again#at least writing this got me out of the adhd/depression paralysis :) yeah this might be self-indulgent so what#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#𓄿#i just love martha wells' writing for things like that#and i love murderbot as a character so very much#also i'm pretty sure some of this could be read in a way i did not intend#i'm not trying to say that depressed people have the option to just not be depressed#or that it's as easy as going “okay well i can either care or not care... i guess i should care! done!”#listen i know it's not like that; i know that first hand#but murderbot had just enough energy and fight in it to try and it had people in its life that cared about it and helped it#and it managed to get out of that deep dark hole#and we see it struggling with trauma etc in the later books#things are not magically better#just yeah#okay imma add#tw depression#tw suicide#(this is not about suicide though; this is about sitting on the couch while the dishes and the laundry pile up#and watching netflix because getting up and taking care of yourself and calling a friend or going outside are too difficult)#(but i can see how this might hit a little close to home if that is something someone's struggling with&better safe than sorry)#also sending lots of love to everyone who this resonates with
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Hiii
I really like your art and I’ve been trying to find your Gertrude au but I can’t really find them/don’t know what order 😅
If you click the #gertrude is still around au tag you can see all the posts in the au latest to oldest.
If you want to read just the comics there is the ao3 link
#gertrude is still around au#<- this one#i guess its been a while#but I think its pretty easy to find#occudo's art
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YAY REQS OPEN!! super weird request but could i get some.. food?? from any 1koma/4koma or maybe food from a pjsk card! (not the ones from the current/3rd bday set). if u cant do that may i have some nenes? ^ U ^
FOOOOOOOOOD (☆▽☆)
#prosekaiuwu#free to use#prskuwu request#prskuwu misc#project sekai#prosekai#hatsune miku colorful stage#prsk#prsekai#let's play a game!! guess which cards these came from :D#i think it should be pretty easy (:#some are VERY obvious!!
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ugly baby rivers is gonna be in my brain forever
its not his fault..... newborns are just ugly
(i did some rambling in the tags if u wanna look at it lol)
#species swap au#ss descent#ss rivers#ss fire#theyre so weird. puppies. i think ancients used to have....... litters. i guess. of two to three babies#but they began to evolve to have less#and now its like. twins are pretty common but more often than not you have one#lots of people are opposed to having kids at all because its viewed as cruel to introduce someone to a cycle where they are so aware of-#-their entrapment#i dont think either pregnancy was intentional but fire was probably more welcome#they didnt know she was pregnant with rivers until shed already been for a couple months- and then he was born.... probably like 7 or 8-#-weeks early#fire wasnt on purpose either but they knew earlier and didnt have any complications#they were probably recommended not to go through with fires pregnancy since rivers birth was so hard on her and he was so sick#but i think now that shed had a kid and come to like the idea shed probably be happy to have another baby#i think they have fire mmmmmmmmmm three years after rivers (this is the same gap as me and my sibling. easy to remember)#takes your ask as an excuse to babypost#druid draw
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oh yea.. its all coming together
#now i just have to code the stupid thing#idk why my brain is procrastinating thatpart bc once i get started its pretty smooth from there. i just Dont Wanna#i mean i guess i could make the graphics before actually coding it but i should probably do the code first#i need extra time to make sure everything is laid out the way i want it before i start decorating ugh#i know theres a way to like hide and show an element without redirecting to another page so it doesnt have to reload all the time#but i cant remember how to do it..... i wanna use that for my journal entries so i dont have to manually update the entries section#each time i post a new journal entry. either that or i can have smth that lets me change the content without opening the html#all pages should link back to the homepage cuz i wanna keep the nav in one place..#cursor should have a neutral and hover sprite which should be easy.. and i was thinking of using dither me this for images#to give it an old win98 effect + the vhs overlay#yapping#diary#wip#oh shit and i need to make smth to redirect to the oc hub
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janky as all hell but hlev is now real
#my art#sewing#(i guess)#myths are 100% true#ma100t#leathericecream#hlev pekarovic#probably only took me like ~10 to make? pretty darn quick#i was just thinking how he looked relativly easy to make out of felt and shit#wish some parts looked cleaner but ehh its alright#might make tortino at some point as well....maybe peka too? engine? we'll see
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For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D
+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)
#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat?#i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat#seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like;#'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺'#but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual#theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it#anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours#its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!!#and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself#so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault#but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to#i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head#aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads#but i think he looks pretty good honestly???#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭#i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session#but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking#^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!!#well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS'#the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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knight ithaqua from a while ago
#the bishop he's talking abt is NOT lily. you get 3 guesses who it is but i think its pretty easy#ithaqua#idv ithaqua#idv#my art#also i've since changed my ithaqua design ethos so the next time i draw him he'll prolly look different#chessence
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I just shared the first bit of fiction that the main character from The Token Human appeared in with the $10+ patrons. Hard to believe that I wrote it eleven years ago! Of course I had no idea it would go anywhere, much less to a novel with a sequel in progress, and an endless series of short stories that shows no signs of stopping.
High five to my past self for scribbling down something worth playing with a bit more. And a bit more. And maybe some more...
#writer life#The Token Human#Robin Bennett#I chose the first name because I didn't know which gender I wanted to use at first#a couple story snippets in I decided 'eh why not just make her tall with a long braid like me -- that's easy to write.'#I've never intentionally made a self-insert character#on purpose#though I kiiiinda did on accident here#since it was just easier to use some of my own traits than to think up a proper new character from scratch#lol hey past self guess how that turned out#pretty well actually#oh also the last name came from two places at once: the Bennett twins from Steam Powered Giraffe and Shazzbaa Bennett the artist#both big influences at the time#a name choice I stand behind#now you know
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2024 reads / storygraph
Smile And Be A Villain
queer character-driven historical fantasy, reimagining Hamlet before the events of the play
follows prince Hamlet who has been sent away to Wittenberg after being caught in a compromising position, meeting new people and discovering magic
and Ophelia, back in Denmark, dealing with the rise of the corrupting by-product of magic
while a war is brewing, and they have to figure out how much they are willing to sacrifice to save their country
duology
bi hamlet, aspec ophelia
#Smile And Be A Villain#yves donlon#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I thought this was pretty good! a really interesting character-driven historical fantasy.#I have some familiarity with hamlet but not enough to have specific opinions on this as an adaptation#other than it’s interesting to explore it outside of just the events of the play.#I thought the prose was easy to read and I liked how it explored various elements of society politics and identity in the time period#It fleshes out some of the side characters a bit - though it’s ultimately still focused on Hamlet and Ophelia#With the 17yo MCs; the coming-of-age kind of character development & the way it explores magic/politics#it felt a lot more YA than I was expecting? Not necessarily a bad thing (I love YA) and I do assume book two might be less so#Considering how central magic is to the story I would have liked a bit more explanation of it. I have no clue how it works at all?#I think the only thing mentioned is at one point Ophelia is chanting latin to do magic but like….that’s it. please tell me how magic works.#do love the cover but with the title was more legible. looks like it says wiccains to me#bisexual books#I guess arguably the fact that her priorities are elsewhere are a hint to the fact that Ophelia’s ace; but otherwise it's only hinted at
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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h(at) progress
#apparently i'm a third of the way done but i'm sceptical#took about two hours but i was watching strictly so i wasn't completely focused#also i kind of knew as i was doing it but this is going to be way too big for my mum#i think it would be slightly big on me and i have a ginormous head#but we'll see#plus i wish i'd got super chunky yarn because it's pretty loose knit#but i was just following what the tutorial said#oh well this is my practice one i guess#apart from that i'm happy with it#its really easy to do#as someone who cried when i attempted crochet#lol
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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I know I’m late to the party but Oh My God™️
#uni talks about the universe#hbomberguy#james somerton#I’ve been watching the video in increments#so everytime I pause and think ‘it can’t get worse’#guess what the fuck happens when I come back#I’ve never watch James somerton but I have seen his videos floating around#but now thank god I haven’t#by the way-no hate to anyone who was fooled by them#how the fuck were you suppose to know that their entire life was a life#anyway I cannot wait for how these people try to clamber their way back#don’t even talk about Blair to me cause holy shit that woman has a lot of skeleton in her closet#I’m pretty sure they all do but I’m mentioning Blair specifically because I was keeping up on the story for her ngl#I do think internet historian is going to come out unscathed#mostly because his fans just doesn’t care#but the rest? not so easy I think#and obviously it’s fucking over for James Somerton#that man is dead. we witness a live execution. and then liked and subscribed
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