#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭

[luck-of-the-drawings]

POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.

[skitskatdacat63]

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

[akascow]

fave jayvik hc so far is that jayce knew how to make a rlly good leg brace from basically scraps bc he helped in designing and crafting viktor's own brace🫠👍🏻

^^ "scraps" is kinda mirroring them probably having to make mock ups and test runs while trying to perfect viktor's brace so there were a bunch of prototypes with random parts they had lying around trying to make it work ahaaaa

like obviously jayce is extremely talented and smart when it comes to engineering so he very easily coulda come up w the design and mechanics of it on the spot (meaning using what he had on hand, rather than actually coming up with it in a few hours bc,, well he was down there for at least a few weeks HAHA) but idk its nice to think about i guess lmfao

plus itd make a lil bit of sense, like why go somewhere else to get a leg brace when your perfectly capable and willing partner is right here lmfao.

also we only see viktor has the leg brace after working with jayce. and yeah u could chalk it up to his illness getting worse so he wouldntve needed it until now. and obviously im not trying to ignore the fact that viktor is extremely capable to make it himself and if he did maybe since hes more than an assistant he actually has the tools and means to make it himself now lol.

but idk it seems like jayce was one of the first if not only person to care about V and include him in things ("people didnt believe in me, a poor disabled kid from the undercity" "i dont want to spend my whole life as an assistant" "our hextech dream" "arent you the professor's assistant" "you should be up there with me" etc) so i can totally picture him see viktor working on it or even a glance at a few crude sketches as a start and want to help his partner yk?

and from what we see hes like extremely nice and caring and at the risk of this sounding too fluffy bc thats not the point rn you can picture viktor walking around the lab, jayce noticing him wincing whenever he tries to correct his position and offering to help him with a mobility aid and they have all the means necessary to build it right here right now and shit happens and here we are now lol

hes constantly making an effort to show and tell people that hextech is not JUST his doing, but viktor's too. which, as someone who seemed to revel in the attention, jayce easily could've forgotten to mention, but never does

so in my head it makes sense that he would be the first person to propose the idea of helping him in creating a leg brace that would make walking a lil less painful (it keeps his foot straight, u can see he has to correct the angle himself in s1 act1)

anyway i think its a neat theory lmao

these didnt fit in anywhere else so im put it it here pft👇🏻

also jayce has two different braces- during and post anomaly. so while there may just be some place in piltover that makes them i’d like to think he just whipped it up all quicklike in his lab the second he got back bc like.. the blueprints are right there lol

his and viktor’s arent entirely similar ofc bc they serve two different functions,, viktors helps to keep his leg/foot facing and moving foward, and jayces kinda just stabilizes/supports his leg i think ? uh but they both help in general to reduce pain

n then viktor, having a leg that didnt develop akin to typical human anatomy, is clearly shown as not the easiest to walk or put pressure in on lmao, especially when he only really got to correct it at like age 30, so like, habits (for lack of a better term) have already been deeply rooted in his posture by now lol

bc, well,, putting any weight on that fucked up Broken In Half shin bone that Definitely Did Not heal correctly (if its even fully healed at this point in the first place) probably causes a bunch of Ouch- hence the supports in the front of his leg,, post anomaly tho, during anomaly its at the sides which was probably just to straighten the injury while it was healing idk.

i cant find a good answer as to why the lower leg support is in the front now but my main guess is so it doesnt put too much strain when he bends his knee/ankle downward, which u can kinda see in ep8 when he blasts viktor and the knockback breaks the part resting on his shoe away, and its hard to see but i think his ankle bends slightly more after the gear breaks ? so thats what i can assume.

clearly im not well versed in the art of KAFO support braces and i tried to look up to the best of my abilities but came up empty handed HAHA who knew itd be so hard referencing similarities between the homemade parallel reality fictional sci fi gear braces and modern irl real orthotic braces LMAO

[beatcroc]

a year!!! as of today i have now been drawing these funny little pizza freaks, to the exclusion of almost everything else, for!!! an entire year!!! i wanted to do a nice group shot/lineup of everybody to compare to when i first started trying to draw them because oh boy were they bad. i never even posted most of them anywhere because they were so bad. but im posting them here, now, to see how everything's changed/evolved.

this is probably the hardest time i've ever had trying to figure out how to work with a style, but we got there eventually; i'm pretty happy with the handle i've got on everybody now...dont let ur memes be dreams. lots of unimportant journaling and idle thoughts abt it below.

older pics

the first one is the VERY first time i drew them, before i thought i was going to actually have any interest in drawing them [lmao]; it was just the one isolated image, for my friendserver, to illustrate the funney message, so there was no attempt to make it Good or actually understand anything going on w/ the designs or style.

second is the original run of practices sketches to start trying to figure them out for real; done after i started having ideas for the comics and such and realized oh god maybe i am actually gonna draw fanart for this. [again, lol, and lmao.]

third one is the first pt art thing i posted on here. there were a couple weeks of sprite studies between this one and the previous image. the one on the top right wasn't part of that post i just threw it on as space filler; i'd intended to shift to doing Sprite Redraws But Stylized to explore tings more, but that was the only one i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

individual characters

peppino: by far the hardest dear god. bro what ARE your shapes how DOES your face work. jesus christ. everything i have trouble with this style for, peppino has it in excess. i draw in polygons! i need consistency! and that is the last thing this kind of style is concerned with. they are made of squarshy clay and i do not understand how to mold them. i was really hoping trying to learn this game's style would GIVE me that kind of flexibility for fun exaggerated facial expression but i don't think much came of it in the end 😔. anyway on the bright side all this means once i got peppino figured out a little bit everybody else clicked way easier.

fake peppino: honestly i never did anything with him on purpose except for how his eyes work + the perma-smile thing. i figured ok hes supposed to look weird and off model so whatever happens with him happens. and it did. and it kept happening. it is still, in fact, happening.

noise/ette: somehow, for every bit that peppino was the least natural thing i've ever tried, these two worked pretty much right off the bat. i still don't understand it, seeing as pretty much all the things at play for peppino are also at work for them. i think the new sketches are actually a little worse than older ones but not enough that i care.

gustavo: really funny bc i drew him on model twice and just went 'okay, cool nice, easy, um. he doesn't have any fucking legs?' fortunately he was the only one i had a strong idea for how to stylize him [square] and it worked exactly as i was hoping so wahoo.

brick: is an animal and therefore 5000x easier and more natural for me to draw/stylize than anything else in the cast. that is Just a rat bro. i can draw a rat.

gerome: i think the funniest one here. the most drastic and least necessary change imo. i was gonna have him be really small at first, like smaller than the noises, but then i just... didn't. he's just peppino-sized now. also i gave him like. actual human facial structure, which is funny bc in most cases i'd do anything to avoid, but it works well for his being A Rock to give him some angles and definition like that+ to differentiate his vibe from the rest of the cast who are all very squishy. also since he is essentially Just A Head it's good to emphasize that too ig.

john: i only drew john a couple times but he gets to be here because i like him. and because most of the stuff i applied to gerome was readily applicable to john, though i did try to keep him a little more uncanny because he is a Huge And Lanky Freak. i hate that he is barefoot btw but idk how to make his color balance look right with shoes.

pizzahead: i did not want to put him on here honestly but i Have drawn him a handful of times and more importantly i didn't know what i was gonna do with john's pose if i didn't have him there to be glared at. the only thing that's different with him is giving him wider-bottomed pants, which i got from when i tried to draw these guys in clone high style [i never posted that one either][i will eventually]

snick: he gets to be here because 1. he's like 6 lines 2. i like him and 3. ive scribbled him a few times offhand and it went pretty well

misc

there are some guys missing because those are guys i didn't draw enough [or at all] to have gotten comfortable with them. sorry

i would have Liked to shade these but for the time being i have accepted that my grasp of light/shadow has decayed to the point im not going to be happy with anything i try there, so For Now i am working on my presentation with flats i guess. gerome has a shadow only because he's shaded like that ingame and looks naked without it

anyway if you are still reading [hi?] i get to shamelessly plug now. i'm over the hill of my pizza run now, and while i still have plenty of things i want to make here, most of the bigger more in-depth ones have passed. pizza tower was the first thing in THREE YEARS to get me out of my oc groove to doing fanart, and once i am done with my ideas here i will be going right back to it. if you like my art or how i write characters/interactions you should check out my oc/webcomic blog @jamverse . i can't promise people who like pizza stuff will be terribly into my designs, but i can guarantee i treat my guys with the exact same sort of tone i handle the pt guys with. and hell, i've mentioned it a few times before, but like 70% of my characterization for fake pep is just copied off one of my characters, so if u are going to miss him... he will still be there in spirit >;p

and if you dont care about any of that and are still reading thank you anyway. actually making these comics + seeing how shockingly well-received they've been has done a lot for my confidence, and for seeing that my kind of stuff IS something people enjoy :')

[magnifythesun]

Hiii so mexican salsa YES this post is a prompt! Feel free to change it to whatever you like, but I'd love a lil' story like this:

Ian and anthony are both very obviously in love and the whole smoffice knows it, but them lmao! I'd love this fic to be just text messages or slack posts or sth, where the cast and crew report of sightings of Ian and anthony doing very ianthony stuff and not realize it themselves. Maybe they come up w a way to show or nudge them in the right direction? But Ian and Anthony will still make it a bro moment (broment) bc they think the other one just wants to be bros LMAO ~ Japhan2024 💖

@japhan2024 FANTASTIC IDEA I have to believe that the Smosh cast legit has a secret group chat for stuff like this hahaha the looks on their faces whenever Ian and Anthony do something shippy is priceless

im going to wrack my brain for my favorite moments lolol I hope you enjoy!

(mid writing note: i first wrote basically all texts but it wasn't quite flowing the way i wanted it to so now there's a little more prose lol. this also taught me i do NOT know enough crew members' names)

read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56346769

---

It took Erin less than ten minutes to create The Group Chat following the slapping video caress incident.

Erin: "okay so what the fuck"

Tommy: "i'm beside myself."

Angela: "SO WE'RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT IT"

It began, and all hell broke loose from there.

Most of the cast and crew didn't know Anthony too well when he first returned, but everyone could tell Ian began to positively glow once he came back. It had started mostly with little under-the-breath comments about how big Ian had smiled at something Anthony did, or shared glances after they looked lost in each other's worlds. It's not that everyone wanted to speculate about their bosses, but rather that their bosses were practically giving them no choice.

The real watershed moment was the birth of The Group Chat, which finally provided an outlet for all ianthony incidents witnessed by the cast and crew.

---

Shayne: "Please tell me how Anthony managed to turn his smosh cast interview into an hour of us complimenting Ian."

Tommy: "i swear he practices in his car on the way to work"

---

Erin: "not them discussing deepthroating injuries for like three whole minutes..."

Erin: "while Anthony sucks on his rainbow lollipop......"

Chanse: "they are not beating the allegations"

---

Josh: "So this is I think the fourth video I've edited where Anthony has called Ian daddy??"

Josh: "WHAT is the thought process. I just can't put it together. is Anthony just like yeah I'm going to call my bro daddy about seventeen separate times with varying levels of seriousness and that's good and het and normal."

Erin: "Josh, istg you don't see the half of it. Come watch them film and pay special attention when the cameras are OFF."

---

Erin: "im losing it"

Arasha: "oh god. what happened"

Erin: "i am not fucking kidding right now anthony just called him submissive and breedable."

Keith: "WHAT"

Erin: "he said what he said."

Angela: "BREEDABLE????????????"

Erin: "in front of god and everyone."

Angela: "BREEDABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

---

Tommy: "catching up on the main channel sketches and i just have to ask"

Tommy: "How many men can Ian date in his sketches until he realizes he'd like to date one in real life?"

Chanse: "don't SPEAK to me about it"

---

Tommy: "bicurious, hmm? Ian would you like to share something with the class???"

Chanse: "hes so deep in the mental closet his art is trying to scream it at him through his subconscious."

Chanse: "ive been there 😞"

Josh: "I've never been more prepared to edit a video in my whole life"

---

Angela: "Erinnnn not u directing them to stand closer together 😭😭"

Erin: "look I'm at my wits end. I'm thinking forced proximity might do it"

Keith: "if that could work they would have gotten it during kissing currency 😙💸"

Shayne: "@ courtney is this your thought process behind wanting a kissing video"

Courtney: "HA"

Courtney: "yes."

---

Courtney: "okay so if our plan at this point is just to make them read so many fanfics about themselves out loud that they spontaneously realize they're in love, we've got to find some fics that don't contain the word 'cummies'"

Angela: "what are cummies?? 😇"

Shayne: "ANGELA I SWEAR TO GOD"

---

As the incidents kept piling up, a plot began to form. Maybe Anthony and Ian were just so oblivious that they all needed to adopt a certain 'push-comes-to-shove' mentality, and do what had to be done. Everyone agreed, they had to find a way to put them in such a charged situation that this would all finally boil over, and the astounding tension that had plagued the office would be resolved. The ultimate achievement of this long-weary Group Chat.

Erin: "okay so one more time. everyone has talked with HR, yes? and everyone slated for the vid is comfortable with the concept of spin the bottle"

Angela: "what's spin the bottle? 😇"

Tommy: "STOP"

Shayne "1) Yes for the thousandth time, we promise. 2) What the FUCK are we going to do if this bottle never lands on Anthony and Ian"

Erin: "I will keep this shoot going as long as necessary."

Shayne: "That sounds like a threat?"

Chanse: "I'm suddenly regretting my decision. May I take my week's vacation right now?"

---

Erin: "how..."

Courtney: "did you see the look in their eyes????? :O"

Angela: "FATE WAS ON OUR SIDE. IT LANDED ON THEM THREE WHOLE TIMES"

Erin: "yes but,,,,,"

Tommy: "don't speak to me I'm still reeling"

Keith: "oh please don't tell me it didn't work."

Chanse: "i just have one question. how did they kiss THREE TIMES and still not realize."

Courtney: "they were both practically levitating from giddiness"

Arasha: "they just kept looking away from each other and laughing it off... they didn't see each other's expressions 😭😭"

Angela: "guys. guys"

Erin: "what"

Angela: "do u know what this means"

Angela: "now that we've pushed them over this hurdle... They're going to start bro kissing in their sketches"

Chanse: "oh my god"

Josh: "oh fuck you're right"

Erin: "that's it."

Erin: "im quitting smosh"

Amanda: "Oh hey guys! We have a group chat?"

Shayne:

[velvet-games]

in the process of of designing a new oc :] (that started as an alastor redesign because of course)

her name is thérèse and she’s my ultimate tumblr sexyman except she’s a woman kind of

will make a part two with some spicier stuff because I can’t post more than 10 images on mobile at once anyway

it all started w this sketch bc I wanted to change my style a bit; the old one was giving me art block lmao

I thought the shapes here were satisfying + I haven't drawn closed eyes (as in the outline going all the way around instead of having separate top and bottom lid lines) in a hot sec so I wanted to try it out again

also something about this style finally made straight hair not feel super weird to draw

starting to enjoy this new way of drawing her face

also realized the vibe of this character was very different:

a lot more ... slouchy? like she'd rather make people let their guard down than intimidate them

also everything is trongle :]

she might still have naturally curly hair idk yet

I'm gonna be honest I have always had to fight the urge to think that canon alastor is a fox

he's red he has fluffy ears and he's a trickster. coincidence? I think the fuck not. I can't even see his antlers 95% of the time.

so therese is actually a fox :]

she's the "unserious but oddly helpful + is actually very competent" one

also vox is here! maybe. idk I just wanted them to be a square

shapes

idk who the girl is I just needed a round one

oh shit they're smooching!!

I think vox is a chronically overworked overthinker who needs the whimsical energy of therese in their life

I'm gonna call vox theo actually cause they're a very different character too

they're also probably not in hell anymore; maybe something wonderland-adjacent?

anyway part 2 coming soon if I don't go into another depressive episode

[andromeddog]

Hi! Thank you for responding to my previous ask about helmets during wwi. I was also just wondering if u have any tips for drawing hair? this is for working on art in general and not a project. i have tried to use references and sketches a bunch, have practiced a ton, but it is still difficult. i was just wondering if u have any tips for drawing hair, esp male hair? thank you!!

oh wow anon hi again, coming in hot w an interesting question bc i genuinely don’t think ive ever consciously considered or examined the way to draw hair/the way i draw hair…. (apologies in advance this got really long)

ig first of all when u mention “male hair” u mean short hair? given the men i draw r p much all historical military dudes they tend to have short short hair so im going to assume u mean that (bc i know men w very luscious locks.) drawing it is something that took me a while to get used to…… when i was into golden kamuy my fave had a buzzcut and i was struggling to find someway to showcase that without it looking like a helmet (i started to figure it out towards the end) i think the big balance there is trying to manage level of detail. w some styles u rly dont need much (buzzcut is mostly about hairline and shape of the head, i break up the smooth silhouette by adding a few lines to suggest that it’s fuzzy or spikey) and others require way more attention (wavy/curly hair comes in a variety of shapes so figuring out the specific curl pattern ur going for is crucial, fine line between showing that accurately and just making a bunch of visual noise)

(also also this is just a fact of the media im into and to b completely honest w myself and you - we’re talking mostly white dudes here in this specific post, this is not a catch all for any hair type but esp more curly/coiled hair textures. i would recommend seeking out artists of color who have more experience w that bc i do b drawing a lot of white guys! and they are not the only type of guy!)

genuinely hair can feel like more of an obstacle for me, slowing down the process for what i would rather be drawing (uniforms) so im always stoked when i can just draw a helmet (sometimes, as previously established helmets r also my mortal enemy). often times ill start with the face but skip everything above the forehead until the very end of the line art, which leaves behind a very silly looking half decapitated soldier (there’s no tip here, just a weird quirk in how i go through a piece lolll) hair on its own is usually delicate and ive never once in my life been able to render something delicately, so thank god for gross war dudes who’s hair is messy enough for my style to finally make sense

IN GENERAL…..watch out when doing the lines, you don’t need to include EVERY single hair or EVERY single lock, blank space can imply they’re there and trying to capture every single centimeter of hair can be too much in the finished product. this is something i suffer from and have talked a bit about BUT it especially rears its head (lol) when drawing hair. i just get too lost in details and then i zoom out and have an insanely dense area of detail right on top of the head that distracts from everything else below it (aka basically all the stuff i WANT to showcase). the eye will automatically b drawn to that spot and no matter how nice the rest of the drawing is ppl will b more focused on whatever the fuck i did w the hair… being frivolous w lines in general can look good when zoomed in but when zoomed out can just make the whole piece…… busy

idk if i have “tips” so much as kind of a reference for how i would go about drawing hair…. here r some examples of hair i’ve drawn that i think dont suck complete ass with a wee bit of analysis. u can tell my absolute fav thing to do is put a lot of detail right where the hair meets the forehead- idk why i just think it makes that intersection more visually appealing.

when im beginning to draw hair i start w the head shape and where approximately the hairline is. then i kind of block off the general shape of the hair on top of that- getting an accurate idea of the boundaries and being able to fill in the details within that space. i try to identify the big “chunks” of hair, the major shapes/flow within the entire shape itself. longer/thicker lines segment those, and then i can fill in that space w shorter/lighter lines to show more detail (if im using a brush w line weight, if im doing mono line i feel my style skews more simple to make up for the lack of line weight)

the next step is a slightly more cleaned up version, getting a better idea of the silhouette and general hair direction. then its lines! and i spend 3 million years destroying my wrist and trying to make sense of earlier sketches…. esp w curly hair oh my god. truthfully i’m still trying to find a balance between “too much” and “not enough” when it comes to curls. again, i have a tendency to go overboard with detail!

also this is a personal plea, but if that hairline is receding, PLEASE for the love of god make sure to include that hairline receding. the hairline is one of those little things that can really help capture likeness; getting it wrong will result in a certain “off-ness” that can make u confused or frustrated as to why this guy doesn’t look quite right. u can also get one of those weird style conflicts where ppl who usually draw younger “””attractive””” men try to draw an older one and it’s very clear they r unwilling to do anything to make the older man look another other than like, 25. (or, from their perspective, unattractive) (i could get up on my soapbox about ppl’s unwillingness to even consider drawing features that aren’t like iphone face hot but that’s my hot take and no one asked) one thing i personally strive for in my work is an accurate depiction, or as close as i can manage w my skills being where they are, so i push that hairline back and i do it will all the love in my heart

ALL OF THIS TO SAY…… idk. this is just my general process, what i’ve been doing and what works for me. maybe it doesn’t make sense or won’t work for you. i will b the first to admit hair is not my strongest skill! i will also b the first to admit my work in general is far from perfect, i have a lot to learn in p much any and all conceivable ways!! but i hope this small novel helped even a little???? anyway have a great day anon mwah mwah mwah 💕✨🦆

[fainthedcherry]

2024 Human Art VS 2019 Human Art !!!!!

AS PROMISED, HERE'S A POST WITH SOME NEW ART!!!

And also an art comparison, just to see, how much I improved in drawing the 2 bois <3

I'm MEGA tired despite having slept after work, but I WON'T let that deter me from writing a description!! YAPNADO AHEAD;

FINN AND MARCOOO. FINNANMARCO. BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE ACOUSTICALLY AND FERALLY YELLED ABOUT MY 2 FICTIONAL MEN WHOM ARE CLOSE TO MY HEART.

I'm SO glad, that in the new drawing, Marco finally looks like the twink he always was, but still enough meat on the bones to look NORMAL lmao, can't say that about the 4 other sketches of me trying to redraw this ref for years. xD (why yes, his wings took forever, why do you ask? /lh)

I'M MEGA SUPER DUPER GLAD, that Finn FINALLY looks like a chubby, wild bastard TOO, OH TOOTHPASTE MAN, HOW MANY HEARTACHES YOU GAVE ME OVER STRUGGLING TO DRAW AN ENDOMORPHIC BODY TYPE. BUT I CAN NOWWWWWWWwwww!!!!!

God this habit of loudly reading out my posts as I type them made me realise what a bad Schwarzenegger impression I do on accident bc I'm overly excited to post something after a month of silence SDKFSKLDG

ONE THING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. IS PUT EVERY DETAIL I NEEDED ON A BIG REF. SO I DID! I've drawn closeups of the boys's eyes, I've drawn Finn's tongue so that I don't need to constantly remind myself what his blush and flesh colours were sdfkldsgkl, I FINALLY denoted their heights, so people know that they're tall TALL dudes (and that Finn obviously will struggle w/ his lanky mfing legs, we LOVE giving a middle-aged man heart attacks once he reaches his 40's!!!)

ANNDDD ALSO SOME SIDE VIEWS OF THEM. The last side-view I had of F & M, looked REAL bad. Like, Marco's face looked WAY too stereotypically European (to my fault bc surprise surprise not many African people live in Europe so I had poor frame of reference but I've been fixing it via looking up images online instead, at least it helps but yeah, I have a hard time so far unfortunately💀), Finn's was just... B u c k e t. NOT LIKE HANDSOME BUCKET. BUT JUST BUCKET. IT NEEDED FIXING (fun fact I accidentally made Finn have the most attractive jaw shape for men according to beauty standards and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I JUST WANTED THIS MAN TO LOOK S Q U A R E AND THAT'S IT, MINECRAFT STEVE HAS MORE RIZZ THAN MOST MEN OFFICIALLY).

OH YEAH ALSO A CLAW REF AGAIN FOR FINN!!! His old ref looks too cool for me to give up on it tbh even as dated as it is sfjklsdglk, BUT I felt like I needed to redraw them properly.

FUNNILY ENOUGH A PERSON I COMMISSIONED SAID I HAVE SOME REALLY CLEAN AND NICE LINEART. I wish I heard that 5 years ago when I was really insecure about my bad lineart skills xD, I don't use lineart anymore nowadays outside of reference-drawings like these I don't plan to redraw in the next years unless necessary soooo yeah! They're gonna appear much rarer unless I go off and about making more ref sheets of all of my Sonc OC's sfklsdgsdfksdg

This drawing took 5 days to make btw. Not the hours spent on this LOL. 5 days of my life I'll never get back tho bc I care too much about my babies and I feel they deserve proper refs sdfklsdglk

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I MENTION.....HOPEFULLY I PLAN TO DRAW MORE HUMAN REFS IN THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF STAY IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF SONIC OCS ONLY. I for years wasn't confident in my ability to draw humans, but I can do so NOW at least!!!!!!!!!! Even if I'm like...3 years too late to how I wish my art looked back then already dsklfdsg, I have some high standards I need to continue to knock down as my 2024 resolution sdfklsdg

^IT'S BEEN WORKING THOUGH AS YOU CAN TELL BC I'VE BEEN UPLOADING SOME BAD DOODLES AND SKETCHES, BEEN DRAWING MORE GARBAGE AND BECAME MORE INVOLVED IN MY BELOVED FANDOMS. I wanna continue doing so! It was the most fun I've had with art ever. I hope to properly meet more fandoms I left in the past bc I thought it'd be embarrassing to share my passion for a franchise back then. I EMBRACE THE CRINGE NOW AS AN ADULT AT LEAST EVEN IF 7 YEARS TOO LATE ON THAT FRONT TOO. We all age and mature ig but I just become more silly year by year,,, c:

Oh yeah if you also see this btw lemme know, whether the new watermark tiles are subtle enough to not be noticed!!!! I know, watermarks are annoying and nobody likes them, but ever since AI invasions, I REFUSE to put my work online without ANY form of proof that somebody took it from my page. I just want people to stop lying on the internet for cloud and pick up a pencil. It's not that hard smfh. The only time I could excuse AI art is w/ amputees man. That's the only time I could empathise with someone, who wants to be an artist but LITERALLY can't bc they got dealt a bad hand in life. I digress my AI hate can be rambled about some other day, I know I love yapping and writing essays about THAT topic for sure sfklsdklg

I chose to post this ref to my Tumblr first tho, bc I still wanna work on my drawing of Abbacchio,,,, he is quite dear to me and I'd love to put effort into a doodle of him that won't take too long. Like 4 hours or 5 hours tops. I still have yet to figure out, if his cute star shape on his head is a hat or part of his hair. Bc I CAN'T TELL TBH AND I'VE BEEN DRAWING IT AS PART OF HIS HAIR PATTERN BUT I THINK IT'S A HAT NOW EVER SINCE I LOOKED AT MORE ASBR CAPS OF HIM I TOOK FOR REFERENCES. xD

Also another side-note, but I've ofc reduced down the lankiness of the dudes I draw™, but I in result wanted to sliiightly make larger feet/hands bc my Sonic phase will continue to possess me 'til the end of time /hj, if you also wanna lemme know what you think on that, bls do! I am messing about with stylization still. I am finding my footing with stylizing humans sOOO yeah!!!! I hope to some day be satisfied with my artstyle change of '24! So far it's been really rewarding and eye-opening to me and my journey as an artist for my 7 years of existing on the 'net w/ my silly goobers I like to scream about to in the void <3

Once again, tagnado also incoming below bc I dunno how to properly tag my art so lemme throw in things I THINK are relevant to this post sdkldsgkl

See you hopefully tomorrow w/ a lil doodle dump if I get around to it!!!! : D

[urtrickster]

markate thoughts i am poorly compiling into this post

gone gone gone markate is real and it's so sweet and sad and bittersweet and just mark and kate being so soso in love with each other and mark continuing to love kate long after she dies at the murder castle. i could write a fic for this if i were brave enough

tunnels au. remember that? i had a thought of mark and erin swapping places w jamie and kate nd being the ones to survive that night and just. kate dying in mark's arms as he begs her to stay awake. they had only just made up with each other, finally back together. it can't end here, it can't. but it does, with kate sacrificing herself to make sure mark made it out alive.

not really a thought just. sometimes i listen to the boy who could fly and it'll. just. 'i guess i never should have loved you, but i do forever 'cause you love me' + 'if you were gonna leave this world, how could it be without me?' + 'now it's all over my tongue and it still has no taste, 'cause without you, there is no me' markate.

imagine kate surviving and mark dying. imagine, in her grief, kate continuously dreams of mark. imagine dream mark trying to help kate move on. imagine it.

dark mermaid aus r where it's at just mark nearly fuckin drowning in the ocean after trying to take some nice photos only to be saved by mermaid kate and kate is like 'well i was going to eat you but you looked all scared and worried over that weird box of yours being in the water and it made me curious so im letting you live for now' and mark is like 'what the fuck' and then they fall in love

werewolf kate vampire mark that's it that's the thought

just a cute domestic scene of markate staying in for the day and existing together. mark occasionally taking a photo of kate here and there because he just can't help himself. kate asking mark for advice on scripts.

u know what fuck it kate can draw really really well and i think she likes drawing mark. mark takes photos of her and kate sketches him out.

sometimes i like to imagine that mark can play the acoustic guitar, y'know? so i'll sometimes just picture him absently playing the guitar while kate sits with him and just listens. doesn't matter what he's playing, she just sits there and admires him while he plays.

mark and kate still broken up but still very aware of each other's habits and preferences so well that whenever someone else needs to get something for one of them, they go to the other for advice.

markate the 30th by billie eilish.

but also markate i don't care if you're contagious by pierce the veil. yeah.

more on werewolf kate vampire mark. everyone literally everyone expects their roles to be swapped and are Very surprised when they see mark sipping on a blood bag with a massive fucking werewolf just chilling next to him.

kate having a nightmare. her and mark aren't together anymore but she still finds herself calling mark for comfort because hearing his voice always calms her down. mark always answers, and the moment he hears her voice he's dropping everything and showing up at her apartment in the middle of the night w some food and some shitty romcoms

markate at jerin's wedding and kate catches the bouquet.

okay now picture an au where tdim doesn't happen and markate didn't know each other. picture kate having a cute adorable little chihuahua that she takes to the dog park every week. imagine mark being at the dog park as well w connie. the chihuahua and connie become best friends which in turn means mark and kate see each other often and get to know each other. the dogs are matchmakers is what im saying.

i think mark and kate have 100% pretended to be a married couple for one reason or another. we don't know what happened in topeka. anything we want could've happened in topeka.

mark 100% teaches himself about crystals and shit and he 100% buys kate crystals bc the way her eyes light up and the smile on her face when he does is all worth it

me and kearney once talked abt mark having a youtube channel where he mostly talked about cameras and photography but occasionally played a game here and there w jamie and i just imagine kate being his number one fan that's all.

i actually think markate would thrive in a zombie apocalypse. don't ask where this came from im listening to speed by atari teenage riot and it made me think of zombies bc of lollipop chainsaw it's a whole thing anyways yeah markate zombie apocalypse au

uhhhh that's all i can think about rn.

[a-little-lostmoon]

Design Concept Sketches I’ve been working on for a GN/Non-binary Trailblazer

Caelus —> ??? —> Stelle —> And two side views of our Nameless NB

My Trailblazer is officially one of the Nameless now too lol (literally has no name yet). I’m gonna do full body outfit for them too soon but that’ll take awhile and I wanna post what I have rn so :>

(Hh also I realized after that I’d accidentally given Nameless Aether’s hair which RIP me. Egg on my face. Uhm I’ll just never style his hair like Aether’s — pretend it’s unique for me pls /lhj I just didn’t know whether to give them hair in between length or longer than and this was the easiest middle ground)

this is just a lil smth I decided to do for fun bc I, as a funky little artist enby, wanted someone more of my stature (I love caeleus but he’s kinda tall and that intimidates me) and also I just generally like NB and GN mc’s, they’re nice <3 The Nameless NB will LIKELY be who I draw in the future in place of either canon Trailblazer’s for most things — but don’t quote me on that. I may just feel like doodling one of the other two for fun but we’ll see !

P.S. NO one asked but I named my Trailblazer (I keep almost sating Traveler) Shingetsu which means New moon, Heart moon, spirit perfection, or enlightenment of the mind and I’m so proud of that name for him, I love Shingetsu v much he’s a lad! I’d’ve used it for the Nameless MC but it doesn’t fit the naming conventions of Stelle and Caelus who have names of… Latin origin, I believe, while Shingetsu is Japanese.

And P.S.S I say Nameless NB a lot bc it’s catchy but I’m sticking w ambiguity for their gender - I’m always gonna use they/them (unless i fuck up) but anyone can use anything for them! And if you wanna use their design please credit me or I’ll be upset!

and have a sketchier version of the above for reading so far <3

[zante-selachi]

unveiling my Shadow Company OC

pushes him to the front this is how he looks for now, dont remember if i made any additional changes after drawing this hshsh (Leopard was his old callsign) also im not the best w/ writing on tumblr cus i dont really post here so...

anyway if anyone wanna use him for any SC prompts/drabbles/writings, feel free to do so or ask me/dm me about him :3

will insert some sketches of him i did which also have his old design at the bottom

CW: mention of torture, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Callsign: Belantik / Orion (based on the constellation) he doesnt mind whichever bc both mean the same thing, just in Malay and English

He/him, pansexual, 5'10 and Malaysian. He has tanned skin with hazel eyes (i suck at colouring so if he looks off, im sorry 💀)

He likes to paint his nails black or any other dark colours and wear rings when not on mission

He has a scar on his neck from when he was tortured really badly bc his captors wanted to silence his screams

Sucks to be them, he can still talk but not for too long/too much bc it hurts so most of the time he doesnt talk unless he needs to and this made him looks like that one scary higher-up that will stare you down--and he will--but the point is that he. Will. Get. His. Point. Across. No. Matter. What.

Orion who was only working with SC temporarily for quick cash but they somehow wormed their way into his heart and he eventually signed his life away to the devil (Graves, that smug man) and found himself being in a whole ass PMC after years of working alone/being vigilant

He took some time to adjust being in a team again and trusting them with his back because ✨trauma✨ but once he got the hang of it, he is fiercely protective of the men and will stop at nothing for them

Orion who wakes up every morning very dazed and just smiles at whatever the men are doing, no matter how chaotic they are while he sips at his tea (he rarely drinks coffee bc it makes him sleepier) has a sketch of this below‼️

Orion (a Captain) who would make sure his men come back from their mission alive. Banged up to the hell and back but alive and able to get back on their feet while he hovers over them whenever possible to make sure they rest properly

Las Almas absolutely devastated him and he isolated himself for some time bc it reminded him of bad times, felt like he didnt do good enough for his men and Graves

Orion who grumbles with a scowl on his face at how stupid the men are while he just stands and watches them, not even trying to stop their antics (because he likes seeing how happy they are, missions are hard enough and hes not stopping them from having fun)

Anytime he grumbles or shit talks someone, he would revert back to his native language which is Malay. Examples of what he would say below :>

"Ni lah dia budak2 zaman sekarang..." (Kids nowadays I swear...) [exasperated & fond]

"Orang dah kata jangan buat, dia buat jugak. Kan dah kena." (I said to not do it and they still did it. Serve you right.) [amused]

"Susah lah aku kerja ngan orang2 bodoh cam si botak ni, beruban aku sial." (It's so damn hard working with dumbasses like this bald fucker, im gonna grow white hair atp) [angry]

"Pale hotak kau." (Are you fucking dumb.) [deadpan]

"Commander tersayang aku ni... bongok gak." (My beloved Commander... just as idiotic) [fond]

"Aku benci mat saleh, babi pahal sedap sangat suara ngan accent??" (I hate white ppl [slang, but in this he actually just meant non-Malaysians] why the hell are their voices and accents so damn nice??) [frustrated & flustered]

Silly facts when i was first making him

- I wasnt sure if i wanted him in tf141, kortac, or sc but chose sc bc ehem graves... hello...

- i forgot about giving him his number in sc oops but maybe 2-15?

Sketches!

1&2 are based on a tt video (old design)

3 is self-explanatory (old design)

4 is eepy and smiley Orion (current design)

5 is his first ever design‼️‼️

Thats all for now, thank u goodnight runs away

[aranarumei]

B, F, K?

thought abt going thru all of my fics and felt an intense bout of decision fatigue so I’ve decided to limit things to mostly a3, which I think is probably the more interesting way to answer, anyways. I ramble so this is a bit lengthy.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

oh yeah. I am Not Immune to Projecting Sometimes. I know I just said I’d talk abt a3 but this bakugou-centric fic was just me drawing heavily on my personal experiences with like. complicated family dynamics and it seemed to go okay so. I’m pleased with it mostly bc i felt like the conclusion wasn’t very… wish fulfillment? which is nice sometimes, but not what i wanted. 

on the a3 side, the Specifics are rather different but dress for success was definitely inspired by conversations i’ve had about gender and presentation before... but the detail drawn most from real life was probably juza’s thoughts about his smile, particularly that he’s just a guy that. Doesn’t Smile. As a kid i was 100% the sort of like. Person who has never smiled ever to my classmates and that made me later in life believe that i was just like. Incapable of smiling properly. I smile lots nowadays tho :) 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

[LUKE] It’s not. Besides, when I wake up, won’t you be there? On the other end of sleep, and “ Good night,” is a “Good morning”. You don’t need to follow me into everything, as long as you know you’ll see me again. [S] “Good night” is a very strange greeting, then. [LUKE] Maybe so. More than a greeting, I think it feels like a promise. 

clockwork heart is. my favorite play. it may even be my favorite event. (tough competition w/ captain’s sky pirates + my master’s mesmerized by mystery for me. and nocturnality.) 

this snippet is really just. it's kind of barely a fic. the whole post is not that long. I had Lots Of Thoughts about how luke, at the end of a clockwork heart, says, “So it’s just good night for now.” it was, to me, just such a perfect encapsulation of the idea that this separation was temporary and not forever, even though they were both saying goodbye, so I wanted to write something that expanded on that idea a little. i think it's effective, seeing as how I get more emotional about the ending, now, and the script format forced me to pretty much rely on dialogue alone.

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with? 

this made me look at myself and be like… huh, i think i’ve decreased in angst as i’ve grown older. interesting.

anyways i think mine would be…  there’s this backstage for nocturnality (so like, spoilers for that) where azuma is transported into the world of nocturnality and like. meets with kota after the ending of the play. and he makes this comment about like. oh, I prefer tasuku to kota, after all. 

and it just like. I’ve never stopped thinking abt that. so I had the sketches of an idea where it’s like. azuma is dropped into that world only like… he Stays There for wayyyy longer than a couple of hours. and u get very fun stuff of like. kota projects his feelings about reo onto azuma and azuma kind of does the same, and the like… lines blur a little badly and they probably lash out at each other somewhat. and it’s a bit complicated, since at this point in time azuma and tasuku have grown closer but they still don’t know each other Perfectly. and he’s not even here but there’s a guy with his face who is Almost Like Him (and how well can you be sure you knew tasuku, too…) all while you’re also slowly losing your sense of self because like, in this world, “reo” is the real existence?  there was also gonna be some kind of drama with the vampire society I think… since azuma would actually be like Human and not. Turned Yet. 

anyways it never rly went anywhere bc it would have to be a lengthy multichap and i’ve got a slow track record with those. i need to finish at least One. these are all also just like… vague concepts that i hadn’t fleshed out into proper plot beats, so it requires a Lot of Work that i just. don’t want to do currently. but i think it could be like. really fun.

ask me about fics & stuff!

[loquatenjoyer69]

1.) #gah since u tagged me i opened this post up literally 2 seconds after posting i saw the timestamp lol. cuz i live on tumblr.#and was like thats way too soon to respond let me wait a minute. and then i had a complicated brain day and had to read in a couple#sittings and not hold onto any thoughts kjsdf AS LOQUATS ALWAYS DOES TO ME.

I...forgot if tagging someone on tumblr gives them a notification so I didn't mean to like. throw this at you like HEY READ THIS I just wanted to credit you for funny bench name lol but thank you for reading it anyway :bow:

2.) #but i did pull out some of ur phrasings here in color coded notes bc im determined to conquer this arc and make it Holdable In Mind.#and i feel like im in good company to do so lol. SUCH GOOD WRITING ABOUT ITTTTTTTT

This is such an honor T_T I would love to see your notes at some point, I feel like I'll never get tired of talking about this arc

3.) #matoba drives me insane. cuz the thing right. is that he is signaled as unhappy with his lot. even tho he willingly does it all and agrees#w the cause and the methods. and what he would actually Want with a freer life is completely opaque to us.#vis a vis usual matoba writing/paneling closing us readers and other chars off from him. and possibly bc he himself doesnt know.#and so the only thing we have sort of gestured at as something that matoba wants is natori's companionship.#and the only person who sort of kind of gets a look at a vulnerable matoba (nonanswer to the question natsume gets a direct answer to#and the more open sketch expression in response to his offer before the i hate my life bench*). IS NATORI.

For a while I've been undecided on what I think Matoba thinks about his own life...it's really hard to tell because he doesn't appear that often in the grand scheme of NatsuYuu, and we've never gotten a chapter from his POV (but what if. Midorikawa. did that. 0_0). But I think I agree with you, it seems like he probably is unhappy or unsatisfied to some extent. And I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't know exactly what he would want if he could have it. He seems like the kind of person to have a lot of messy layers of personality and thought going on, like, the course of his life has always been dictated for him, so there was never a possibility of him getting to do What He Wants. He must have personal desires to some extent, but I wonder how much he lets himself dwell on them.... Okay this is kind of goofy and a stretch but now I'm thinking about his love of sweets and the little remarks other Matoba members have made about him sneaking out for snacks or whatever (I don't remember the chapter but please tell me I'm not imagining this), and how this is something he wants that he can have that isn't related really to the clan business. Matoba's pursual of delicious sweets as a manifestation of having what he wants, something just for him. Wait now we're getting back to the loquats. "It was sweet and delicious; my desire had been fulfilled. But Natori must have gotten a bad one. He was making a weird face [...] Oh, I thought, there's no winning, even in such a small thing as this." Hm.

Ummmm also wrt Natori being the only one who gets to see a more vulnerable Matoba, it's a little funny (painful) because it seems like, especially from his adolescent point of view, that he feels like Matoba is very aloof and couldn't possibly care about him or like, things that don't have to do with success. Not that Matoba makes it easy. But Natori really was...an insecure kid. For good reason though LOL. But augh that's the tragedy of these two to me, they were both like, the wrong people at the wrong time. But maybe now...? :thonk:

Matoba and Burden and Desire

I originally watched/read Natsuyuu back in fall of 2022, and then a few months ago, literally out of nowhere, my brain was like “Hey, remember that loquat story Matoba told in that one arc? It felt like there was something there, let’s go reread that,” which I did, and have been in hexorcists hell about ever since.

(pictured: a sane person’s reaction to reading natsuyuu)

And really, that’s it. The loquat story feels like there’s something there, but I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. But after my close rereading of that arc, I think I’ve at least come to one coherent conclusion about it, even if it’s perhaps the most basic one: I think the loquats are an allegory for the greater themes of burden/desire in this arc. The following is my attempt to lay out my thoughts, but unfortunately I have never been known for my conciseness or my ability to organize my thoughts, so be forewarned. This will be rambly and include a few tangents/too much detail.

The story of the Miharu family is a story of a family that was once respected, had a relationship/contract with powerful ayakashi, and eventually fell into ruin, leaving behind their contracts. The ayakashi, the mihashira, still come to uphold their part of the agreement without fail, but the family is gone. So who comes in their place to maintain the contract? The Matobas, and in the present day, the current head of the Matoba clan is Matoba Seiji. In order to maintain this deal with a group of powerful youkai, which neither he nor his family actually made, Matoba has to come and perform the welcoming ritual to avoid incurring the wrath of the mihashira.

Matoba is a character marked by burden, I think. Though he is the head of the most powerful exorcist clan, and therefore one might expect that he can pretty much do what he wants, I don’t actually think he has much personal freedom. The only son of the main family, he was probably marked as the heir from birth (if not, he would have had to be once his sister left but I still need to read 120+ so I don’t know exactly what the deal with her is). The clan’s interests are his interests. He can’t do anything that might hurt the reputation of or endanger the clan, and he is obligated to do things that benefit the clan. Matoba is Matoba. 

In chapter 25, in his debut arc, he tells Natsume 「使えるものは使わないと。人を守る為に、強い妖が欲しいと思っているだけですよ。その為には恨まれたり代償を払うことを気にしていたら、この家業はやっていけませんしね」

"One should make use of useful things. I just want ayakashi in order to protect people. If I was worried about being hated or suffering consequences, I could not carry on the family business,"

(this is actually one of those annoying instances of a Japanese sentence that’s more dense than would sound good in English. Matoba seems to be explaining his personal worldview/thoughts here with 思っている even though in English you’d never say “I just feel like/think I want strong ayakashi…” He’s explaining that this is the way he thinks, I think lol).

Matoba doesn’t get the privilege of having a good reputation among humans or ayakashi, since we learn in special chapter 17 that no good ayakashi will make deals with the Matobas because of their famous broken promise. Matoba Seiji not only inherits the burden of monthly eye-stealing visits, he also can’t make contracts with ayakashi and  takes on all the distrust that’s built up over generations from both humans and ayakashi. 

And now Matoba is taking on the debts of a dead branch family to avoid possibly endangering his own.

In the locked room, when Matoba is goading Natori into breaking them out, he says 「どうです？あなたには解くことができますか名取。無理ならばすべて私が片付けてさしあげましょうか？」

"Well, can you do it, Natori? If you can’t, shall I take care of everything for you?"

I’m unsure how much of this is Matoba teasing Natori (as he seems to like doing in the Homura arc) about how he’s not as powerful/skilled as Matoba, and how much is him simply making an offer because he’s Matoba and he’s The One Who Takes Care Of Everything. I think either way, there is at least a good amount of the latter going on here. 

In special chapter 17, Matoba shows up at Natori’s house and helps him exorcise the ayakashi that’s been haunting him. After Natori wakes up, he tries to offer to help Matoba in some way. I think he felt uncomfortable being the only one being helped, and wanted to find something he could offer Matoba, even though Matoba seems to have everything he needs. Natori offers to listen to his problems, and Matoba smiles (of course) and says he’s fine. Even teenage Matoba is like “You’re not the one who helps me, I’m the one who helps you.” Though this chapter is from Natori’s perspective, so Natori believes Matoba was just using him to get an ayakashi, I’m not sure that’s true. I don’t know for sure what Matoba’s motives were, but I don’t believe teenage Natori is an unbiased observer of him lol. 

Now that we’ve laid all that out, let’s talk briefly about the Miharus, a once respected family who made a deal with ayakashi they didn’t understand, and fell into ruin. According to the ayakashi who wants to sabotage the ritual, there was a member of the Miharu family called Masakiyo. Masakiyo was stern for the most part, but there was someone he loved. However, he couldn’t be with that person because he couldn’t make them shoulder the burdens of his family business, but neither could he simply abandon his family. He had to stay with his family and let this person go. This was the only time this ayakashi saw Masakiyo cry. Then we get this panel:

(pictured: bench of I Hate My Life, credit to @joelletwo for that lol)

In his despair, Masakiyo wished there was no Miharu family. The ayakashi, feeling indebted to Masakiyo for letting it go during an exorcism, overhears him and decides that destroying the Miharu family will bring Masakiyo happiness. This is an unintended contract between the two of them. Masakiyo unwittingly causes an ayakashi to spend years (decades?) trying in vain to destroy his family in order to repay a perceived debt. This isn’t Masakiyo’s fault, really, it was just an unfortunate misunderstanding. The ayakashi didn’t understand that Masakiyo wanted it to be free and live the life he couldn’t. “You were almost exorcised because of human circumstances. You were saved on the whim of a human. What debt? You are free. Go wherever you want. Live however you want.”

After all the mihashira business is wrapped up, Matoba thanks Natori for his help, Natori says he probably couldn’t have gotten out of the room without Matoba, and Matoba laughs and says “Then we’re even this time.” Neither one is indebted to the other this time…they’re even. Then Natori says The Line:

「何かを継ぎ背負っていく…その真の重みは私などにははかり知れません。でも今はこう思うようにもなりました。重いものもひとりでなければと…」

"I don’t know the true weight of shouldering a burden you’ve inherited, but now I’ve come to think that even heavy things can be carried if you’re not alone,"

(this is another one of the aforementioned Dense Japanese Sentences, and I really prefer the fan TL version of this line but I’m translating it this way to try to convey all the stuff he’s saying). Natori once again reaches out to Matoba, trying to offer him maybe the only thing he can: support, listening to his problems, shouldering his burdens. This time, though, we don’t get a Matoba Smile and “I’m fine,” we get this:

(pictured: Matoba on the bench of I Hate My Life, or “Matoba Cow Beach” as I refer to this image in my head)

What is Matoba thinking here? I really don’t know. If I draw the obvious parallel with Masakiyo, I guess he’s contemplating his two…selves, as it were. His duty to his family vs his personal desire for companionship. And I do think Matoba wants companionship. I read his behavior in special chapter 15 as genuinely wanting to be friends with Natori. I think he was excited that there was someone else his age who was relatively powerful, and who wasn’t concerned with all the Matoba stuff. Hence his insistence on Natori calling him Seiji. He wanted to be close to Natori.

And finally, we can come back to the loquats. Natsume hears Matoba mocking the mihashira for continuing to protect the Miharu house even after the family has all died out, and thinks perhaps Matoba is envious of ayakashi who go to such great lengths to keep promises.

"Matoba-san, who keeps breaking promises, and doesn’t have anyone to make new ones with."

Matoba wonders how the welcoming ritual will go next time, but decides he won’t worry since he probably won’t even be the head of the clan at that time. Natsume offers him a loquat, saying cheer up, and Matoba does his Thing, saying  “How odd, do I look upset?” and then tells The Story.

When Matoba was a teenager, he really wanted to try the loquats from Yorishima’s yard. One day, he was there with Natori, and Yorishima gave them both one. The loquat was delicious and sweet; Matoba felt that his “desire had been fulfilled,” but Natori got a sour one, and Matoba felt like Yorishima-san had wanted to give a loquat to Natori, and only given one to Matoba because he was there, so he thought “Ah there’s no winning even in such a small thing as this.” Matoba gets what he wants, but it wasn’t meant for him, and the one it was meant for is worse off, so did he really win? He was the only one who got to enjoy the delicious loquat. These are the unintended consequences, the burdens if you will, of desire. 

Natsume speculates that the agreement with the mihashira began when someone had the wish to protect the Miharu family, and there was an ayakashi who happened to be there, much like the situation with Masakiyo and the sabotaging ayakashi. A simple and innocent wish accidentally creates a generations-long burden that Matoba eventually has to shoulder. 

I think Matoba must be painfully aware of his power and influence, and that even his smallest actions could cause unintended consequences. I wonder if he sees the Miharu family as a warning of what could happen to his own family if he slips up… And it wasn’t just a mistake on the part of the Miharus, but a failure of the Matoba clan head of that time, whose responsibility it was to look out for the branch families. Matoba Seiji is not just responsible for the success of his own family, but protecting the branch families, and of course non-exorcists as well. I imagine he feels like he doesn’t have the time or room to act on any of his own personal desires, and his little loquat anecdote is evidence of that, to me. It’s bittersweet (lol). And Natori’s takeaway, meanwhile, is more casual as you might expect. When Natsume asks him if he likes loquats, he says he’s not sure because his first one wasn’t very good. To Natori, a loquat is something he might try again and like. To Matoba, it’s a reminder of what he can and can’t have.

[liarsweapon]

also called:

what if auntie janie met auntie donna the hallucination master that made her gardener see his dead family before murdering him to show her devotion to miranda and is maybe 20 at most, aka met angie the doll made from the bones of donnas dead sister by their deceased nutty dad, try and change my mind capcom u cant

uncle fishy moreau, poor dude that just likes rom coms and cheese and none of his family likes him apparently even tho heis even flat out says its his job to keep fishy entertained

werewolf magneto nic cage unkie heisenberg, hes an engineer, i dont need to say anything else

@folkesange

[catch-the-wind]

when reader is sick hc's

finally posting writing here so true

n e ways okay so i’m brainrotting about the genshin charas taking care of their s/o’s when they’re sick 🥺 and now i'm feeling sick, sigh

ohm and sulien ambros belong to @teyvattherapist! they're such good chara's, i know i'm writing them here but i deffo recommend reading up on them

okay here u go, have some hc's that are kinda sorta long and by that i mean 2.5k- i haven't proofread this bc it's 4am and im going to BED but if i write for any other chara's i'll post a second part <3 mwah

tags: gn!reader, diluc x reader, kaeya x reader, jean x reader, lisa x reader, albedo x reader, dainsleif x reader, tartaglia x reader, ohm ambros x reader, sulien ambros x reader, soft bean hours

diluc

is not working or traveling when his partner is sick

absolutely makes them soup and hot tea and drinks

he’s trying to make them food but he’s not the best cook so he’s asking adelinde for help

absolutely asks jean, barbara, and ohm for help while his partner is sleeping but he’s so awkward LMAO

was absolutely frantic the first day he found out his partner was sick tho, he made them come over to the winery so they could sleep there and he can take care of them <3

absolutely lied about what room was his so they slept in his bed

“hmm this guest room is so furnished diluc are all your rooms like this” and no, no they are not, this room is his, bestie

diluc slept on a sofa in his bedroom and did work on the table that was supposed to be for flowers. kinda stressed over abyss order locations but was more worried ab his partner being okay so he was distracted

he just put the flowers on his nightstand for his partner to see when they woke up <3

gives his partner forehead kisses because they won’t let him kiss them on the lips and he gives them the gentlest cheek kisses while they sleep

also gives his partner his clothes to wear <3

cuddles them and reads to them when they’re awake and TEMPLE KISSES OH MY GOD

kaeya comes over because he’s worried his brother and his brother’s s/o haven’t been seen in a little while

n e way, diluc gets sick after his partner gets better and they nursed each other back to health

kaeya

like diluc, he took off work so he could take care of his s/o i,mediately after he found out they were sick

wouldn’t force them to stay at his place tho, he’d probably let them recover in their own place

but he might make them go to the kof hq or the cathedral just so they can be taken care of by a proper healer

he absolutely soothes their fevers and stuff w cryo and also the man can heal himself w his elem skill ofc he can fix someone if he tries hard enough <3

he gives kisses no matter how much his partner says not to but he’ll also give them butterfly kisses so it’s soft moments too~ sigh, ur too cute alberich

asks ohm and barbara and albedo and lisa for potions and such to help his partner feel better but he’s really lowkey so he doesn’t seem SUPER worried

he just hates seeing his partner not feeling so well </3

refreshes his partner’s vase of flowers at their bedside every day

brings home work so he can watch over his partner. he can’t cook super well either so he asks for help and brings stuff home from good hunter too

jean was okay to let kaeya off of work and diluc would never admit it (man practically swore everyone to secrecy smh) but he helped take up some of kaeya’s duties in his stead

and kae, the alcoholic, didn’t even drink while his partner was sick bc he was lowkey worried they would need his help w smth and he didn’t want to be drunk just in case <3

many cuddles despite protests of getting him sick <3

jean

absolutely uses her healer skills to make her partner feel better

panicked when they were still sick and thought it was her fault </3 she asked barbara and ohm for help and they just told jean to relax a bit bc her partner was sick and it wasn’t going to be a quick fix

wanted to take off work but didn’t, so she just brought her work with her

kaeya and ohm very kindly took up her other duties where she had to leave so she could be w her partner

her partner is staying in the kof hq where they get access to ohm and barbara comes to visit <3 but also so that jean can sleep comfortably enough close by bc you cannot tell me this woman does not sometimes sleep in her office or the library and barely makes it to the kof dormitories sometimes

she’s so worried the entire time, she’s probably got a few gray hairs and a new frown line smh

she has clothes that aren’t her work clothes???? it’s so foreign seeing her in stuff like pajamas. you didn’t even know jean owned pajamas

jean sets them up in her bed at home (yeah she has a place outside of the kof hq??? it’s surprising) but it’s a big bed so they can rest and she’ll have the lamp on her side on while she sits up and does work

absolutely dotes on them. she’s good at making foods that make them feel better, she’s just a good healer that way <3

albedo, klee, venti, kaeya, lisa, and ohm all come over to check on jean and co and make sure everyone is doing okay <3 lots of food brought

if jean was asked to sing to her partner normally, she probably wouldn’t bc she’d probably get embarrassed but i think she probably sounds v good and venti would give her his lyre to try out a musical instrument too. but also she’d read to her partner and they’d probably fall asleep together uwu

lisa

works part time hours at the library so she can go visit her s/o

probably asks them to stay at the kof hq for easier access to medical assistance and plus she’s almost always there

“cutie” but worried and very 🥺 (pleading emoji)

makes soup and potions and reads to her partner until they fall asleep

also super playful omg she’s still got a smile on and is full of affection while she walks her fingers up her partner’s arm to their face so she can cup their cheek

she’ll make her partner laugh and smile and blush even when they’re sick, but she makes them laugh until they cough sometimes and immediately feels so bad

jean, barbara, kaeya, albedo and ohm all come to visit with different foods and soups and medicines and such

klee comes knocking and gives lisa some good fisherman’s toast and asks lisa’s s/o if they want to hug dodoco b/c that always makes klee feel better

purple roses galore, lisa has them in her partner’s room and they’ve got a potion to make the. uh. sniffer? to make the sniffer feel better. don’t ask me how, idk but she would find a way to make them physically feel better with flowers

reads to her partner ofc, and she tells them stories ab her own life and time at sumeru sans the crazies

worried looks when her s/o is sleeping but also the softest smiles when they wake up pls-

albedo

cutest lil frown on his face when he finds out his partner is sick

immediately they are taken home and he’s testing to confirm what’s wrong w them and what he can do to speed up their recovery

he’s more distracted than usual at work but he’s coming over to your place all the time w what paperwork he can do

also sketches his partner while they don’t know. he’s got lots of beautiful candids of his partner sleeping, looking out the window, falling asleep, reading, even drinking water. he’s made the most mundane things look captivating

kaeya and ohm come to check on albedo when he doesn’t show up for work after a few days and it’s bc he’s taking care of his s/o with food and soup and alchemical potions and shit. and when kae and ohm come in, they find his partner opening the door wrapped in a blanket while albedo is asleep cuddling the pillow they left bc he stayed up the night before making soup and reading to them

klee has camped out on his partner’s couch, she helps w the cooking too~ she absolutely lets them hug dodoco and gives them a treasure to feel better too LOL

many kisses from klee and albedo, and they also go out to get treats for albedo’s partner too

domestic albedo cooking in his partner’s kitchen and for once it isn’t some alchemical potion that he might blow up the stove with

tartaglia

takes off work entirely but BOY OH BOY is he stir crazy smh

brings his partner to his apartment to rest <3

he’s so worried ab his s/o that he makes all the sick ppl food the first day, orders from wanmin restaurant when his partner wants smth different, and also gets toys and such to entertain them otherwise

also reads to his partner but, again, he gets stir crazy after a while

absolutely does workouts and katas in the living room and phew shirtless tartaglia working out? gets the heart rate up for sure ahem

rushes to his partner tho omg- need soup? water? a trip to the bathroom? another blanket? he goes to them the MOMENT he hears them moving around. absolutely dotes on them <3

his family knows ab his partner and he’s probably written letters ab them being sick~ his family sent snezhnayan herbs and flowers and medicines and such

zhongli comes around because he wants sugar daddy!tartaglia with tea and medicine from bubu pharmacy. hu tao is in tow with well wishes and a “hope i don’t find you at work!” which is. a little worrying because aren’t you just a little sick-

many kisses from tartaglia because he is Needy and he’ll absolutely get sick from cuddling his partner while they sleep

also he’ll probably just like. envelop his partner while they sleep. they’re all cuddled into him and he’s actually so warm it’s nice bc they’re cold w a fever and he’s living for comforting them

he’s so worried tho, he’s got the frowny face and he’s so adorable but he just doesn’t want his partner to feel sick

dainsleif

the man camps in ruins, he’s going to his partner’s house smh

he doesn’t go into the church either LOL so expect him in his partner’s home making dinner and doing their grocery shopping thanks

he would get ohm and barbara to come over tho <3 “fix them please” but also “how can i fix them”

is so dead set on making sure his partner takes their medicine at the right times, he’s so soft for them and them alone

cooks soup and old recipes he barely remembers from khaenri’ah. he doesn’t really get sick, so he doesn’t remember these ones too clearly. deffo brings back old memories he’d long forgotten

reads to his partner and tells them old stories of how the world used to be, his travels, gives them the gossip on a certain khaenri’ahn but doesn’t give away the name

ohm comes over with medicine and lollipops bc dain is so unlikely to go to the cathedral to get barbara smh

but also dain, so self-sufficient, is unlikely to want to ask for help, so ohm just goes to help anyway

dain with the old khaenri’ahn lullabies and tucking his partner into his arms and singing quietly while he holds them and rocks them to sleep

dain is immortal, he’s giving his partner kisses bc “i’m immortal, ofc i won’t get sick”

he got sick

but his s/o nursed him back to health and then there were smooches the end

ohm ambros

the doctor with his ill lover oh my god

he’s frowny, he’s taking care of his partner at his home in springvale and his home clinic is open to everyone else. but everyone knows his partner is the first priority LOL

kaeya and albedo come over to see if ohm is okay or if his house needs to be checked up on. they’re wondering if he went on a last-minute expedition to sumeru and didnt tell them

diluc comes over too, he’s just checking up on his best friend but he’s also stealing a cherry lollipop smh. he heard from kae that ohm’s partner is sick tho, so he brings some soup and good food over from adelinde. he also brings some of his own specialty food tho, the once upon a time in mondstadt <3

sulien sending letters to his big brother to see if his brother’s s/o is okay

ohm is also just super protective of his partner, there are not many people who come into his life who he loves and lets in in the first place. he’s absolutely trying to heal them with his own vitality, so their recovery is much shorter than initially expected

barbara also comes over w jean to check up on ohm and co, complete w a goody basket of soup, a teddy bear, flowers, and books

ohm reading to his partner <3 he’s got such a soothing voice even if his accent is wack LMAO. he’s reading stories and even his paperwork because just his presence is comforting

he puts his hands on his partner’s forehead to soothe the fever goodbye

ohm will not sing for his s/o simply bc he doesn’t think he sounds v good. and he probably doesn’t but it would be so cute to hear him try and please ohm? 🥺

n e way i want smooches idc if i’m sick KISS ME OHM AMBROS

sulien ambros

when he finds out his partner is sick, the man blinks like twice and then suggests so calmly that they go to his apartment in liyue

man does not sleep normally, he’s just going to nurse his partner back to health and read during their recovery. fruit tart can cover his duties for him <3

sulien cooks for his partner tho, he’s making soup and stuff and getting medicine from bubu’s pharmacy. he’s also picking up books on the way home but some of them are to be read to his partner so it’s okay-

like tartaglia, sulien works out while his partner rests and goes to them if he hears them moving around. he’s reading to his partner and not so frowny, but the slightest furrow of this man’s brow is already such a big expression of his concern <3

sends letters to ohm asking for advice ab how to help his partner feel better. ohm just sends a letter back with “i’m coming” and shows up within the day LMAO

reads to his partner, and the monotony of his voice is soothing and lulls them to sleep. he just looks at them affectionately (well affectionate for him) and presses a kiss to their forehead before finishing the story on his own and in his head

tartagalicious comes over and brings food, flowers and a teddy bear with some of sandrone’s paperwork but he sends a smile to sulien’s partner with some well wishes

scara comes over too just to visit and check to see where sandrone is, but scara is a grumpy bean so he just says “feel better” all brooding and like it’s a command to one of the fatui subordinates LOL

sulien like ohm uses his cold hands to soothe his partner’s fever and also gives them forehead kisses <3

Edit: a link to part 2

[mokutone]

THANK YOU for keeping kakashi’s mask on for that. Whenever I see art of him kissing someone with his mask down it’s like “you think a guy who wears that thing 24/7 365 even to bed is gonna take it off so someone can put their lips all over him? No way”

dgjhdsgkjh this is really such a funny response to my post and i enjoy your passion for kakashi saying the mask stays ON for kisses. thank u + im glad that u enjoyed it!! i also prefer seeing his mask on, tho perhaps for different reasons!

i did actually draw another boruto era scenario where kakashi pulls his own his mask down to give yamato a quick kiss, but we still dont get to see his face

n then more needlessly detailed kakashi mask thoughts under the cut:

tbh i do think he wears it p much all the time, but i don't think its like he wont ever take it off? and i don't think hes like, as protective of it as he acts like he is with the kids...i think he just likes playing with them 🥺

its like, its like the bell game, can these kids get the mask off? its a good team bonding exercise AND good practice for kakashi, bc even if hes out of their league in terms of skill, they are determined, a group of three vs his group of one, and even if they get tired fast they also bounce back fast. i think its genuinely so fun for him, if it wasn't, and if he was serious about never letting them see his lower face, i think he'd be a lot more harsh! but in the eps where team 7 is trying to get a look at his face, he seems to be teasing them and encouraging them to try harder which. is genuinely really cute.

honestly the reason i had him keep the mask on is because i DEEPLY resent the anime for making any version of kakashi's face "canon," especially using a sketch kishimoto drew that pakkun + the ninken specifically said, in some other additional part of the manga, was NOT what his face looked like (which i thought was really funny and an entertaining way to play w/ the whole face-hiding-situation!! im annoyed that it was retconned...and for what? fanservice? no thank you. stop serving me!!!)

honestly i do not want to know what kakashis face looks like and i refuse to accept any depiction as canon! i think we should just never have found out what his face looks like. this knowledge does not enhance my experience of naruto whatsoever! i don't need to know! let me stay in my own lane! Kishimoto and Studio Pierrot, i do not want to see it, stop trying to show it to me!!!!

anyway. so i just refuse to draw any direct depiction of kakashi's face. closest ill go is drawing another character speculating abt his face, but kakashis face itself? not for my eyes thank u. i do not want to see it.

does this make sense? it's less about how kakashi as a character feels about his mask and more about how i as somebody who consumes naruto feel about kakashi's mask.