#there's too much to do and im way too small i wish i could just nap and read and play games for a bit
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asfdhgsdkjhgb · 7 days ago
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god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek
#just me rambling again#guys. guys i have been just barely scraping by for what feels like so long it's genuinely so overwhelming and confusing and just very#unsettling for me to be having good feelings especially like.. big ones#i kind of feel like im dying ?? not actually physically but my entire brain just really doesn't know what to do#ive got some rational anxieties but also a lot of really stupid small ones just that are so all over my brain#and the cause feels so stupid. ok cool so ur falling for one of ur friends. happens. ok so same friend VERY OBVIOUSLY likes you too. ok ok#a little weirder but something that has happened before#but there's just so much in mybrain anxious abt stuff (ive been forgetting to take my anxiety meds a lot the past week(#idk i just feel like somehow it's not fair to them??#like. being with me or me trying to maybe be with them feels like... im taking away something from them or from their life#even tho we literally talked last night abt dates we really really wish we could go on#and how we obviously would just work well together we're compatible in basically every way#it also would be low pressure not heavy commitment because at the end of the summer we're both planning to move for college things#and she's looking at colleges in New York and nyc and im looking at colleges in oregon or Washington#so yeah.. literally across the entire country from each other#but that almost scares me more bc i have the it will come back hozier type of attachment issues where it's so so difficult for me to ever#let go of things once ive latched on (everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it or whatever) and i really don't want to leave my#claw marks in them bc like. god i really would adore having a thing for however many months we have but im so goddamn scared#that im either not going to be able to let go or one of us is going to detach well before we leave bc thats a reasonable emotional response#and thatll be it's own hell#but also#im 18 almost 19 (and i will make clear that they're in the year below me which also makes me feel really bad but that's a whole other can o#worms there) and its been a long while since ive just. let myself LIVE. ive been the shell of a man for months now. maybe another#stupid and wonderful and beautiful and terrible teenage romance wouldnt be the end of the world.#hell i was so convinced i would never ever ever not be in love with my more recent ex girlfriend and i still love her as a person but im#definitely not still in love with her and our splitting hurt but it was something that i was able to cope with and grow through#idk im rambling a lot longer than i have in a while i just have a lot of feelings right now.#i want to kiss them (again and more) i want to go to a stupid drive in movie and go to museums together and a picnic and all the shit that#we talked about last night and we both love in similar ways and feel our feelings really big and unapologetically#idk i have so much to say but running out of tags on here. double date maybe on friday ? we'll see what happens i guess.
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tyranasaurusbec · 5 months ago
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i am SICK and TIRED of not being able to find things available in my size
like i found the perfect knitting pattern and i was so excited to buy it & yarn for it and the smallest size is like a whole size too big
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lildoodlecat · 10 months ago
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h
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jonny-b-meowborn · 2 years ago
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I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that
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chisungie · 2 months ago
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calilk · 3 months ago
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i wish it would all stop
#i feel like i have no control and it’s all too much and i’m drowning in work i’ll never keep this up for two years#i just wish i had someone to talk to. it’s stupid i have friends yes but i don’t have anyone i could go to#i wish i could stop overreacting i’ve been doing it so much recently#I just can’t. handle it right now#a year ago i would’ve been fine but i’m so emotionally delicate right now and one small change and i have a panic attack for an hour#and i’m sonbing and screaming worse than i have for years like a fucking baby#i wish i could stop feeling like this#i wish time stopped a year ago#i wish i was in the same headspace i was then#this isn’t sustainable#it will all crash and burn i can’t keep this up#i wish someone could tell me that it will be all ok#i wish i could tell someone all this stupid shit i’m keeping inside me#i wish i could actually fucking trust people to be there for me#i just want to be okay again#it was all going so well why did it have to go wrong i was doing so well i was doing so well#i wish o could exist without thinking about how much fucking work i should be doing#i wish i could turn off my brain some other way than just scrolling mindlessly for hours when i get home#i wish i didnt hold myself to such a high standard l#i will be the death of me#gonna hide this with a bunch of reblogs now#i just need it to be out there#somewhere#i’m so fucking emotionally stunted that i treat a poli//whirl teddy like my best fucking friend#im pathetic
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arolesbianism · 11 months ago
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Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost
#rat rambles#oni posting#like I guess I just rly love that oni both manages to commit to being a tragedy while also leaving a world still in motion#like Im glad that olivia didnt get a bittersweet ending and instead got a fucking miserable one#while at the same time the dupes are still left there to keep moving forward#well ok more so I like how the narrative shifts into smth quite beautiful when seen from the dupes perspectives#which is also why I like that the dupes are rarely talked abt directly in the lore logs#idk I just feel like a seed is planted wouldnt hit as hard to me if the dupes were talked abt more#its the same sort of incedental storytelling that I like abt the rest of oni's writing ig#also I just think them being a major part of the lore logs would rly take away from the greater horrors and tragedies of gravitas#like idk I think it would have been a lot more boring if a third of the logs were just jackie going so yeah I tortured dupes some more#it makes the pre end of the world world feel so much bigger while still mostly remaining within gravitas itself#enhances the feeling of glimpsing into a past world#like every now and then I think abt what oni story could have looked like and am filled with joy at what it is now#I fucking love being into fiction thats good god it feels so good to like shit thats just like actually good#it honestly makes me almost wish there wouldnt be new lore but I do think theres room for more#as in theres plenty of room to make shit up and also we need to see more of the scientists pls#as for actual quote unquote plot stuff idk just give me like one jackie and olivia college year video transcript or smth and we're good#theres other stuff that make me lose my mind but for narrative consistency I think itd be best to not touch those two too much#especially olivia I rly think she doesnt need almost any new content the only stuff Id want with her is if it expanded upon jackie#because rly jackie is the only character I think would super heavily benefit from elaboration even if I stand by her not needing much#as Ive said a billion times just smth small to show us her in a more casual setting and we're golden I think#show me that woman being genuinely happy so I can fill in the blanks as she slowly gets crushed by the consequences of her actions#shes a part of this tragedy too and god damnit I want to see the life she ruined along the way of ruining many others#I want to see a woman whos eyes once shined and then when the lights have dulled I want her to say it was worth it with no conviction#metaphorically ofc I dont actually want to see most of it because thatd go against the narrative philosophy already established#rly all this means is I wanna see jackie and olivia doing laundry together or smth#oh also I hope they specifically give otto a whole other log just to clear up my pronoun woes#idc what its abt just have them talk abt their gender offhand or smth#just mi-ma being like how do you do young man and otto is like they and mi-ma is like ah yes young they
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sensitivegoblin · 1 year ago
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I was getting better
#vent#ever since my dad screamed at me I can't even properly do therapy#she's given me the permission to come and just do anything I want#I feel like I'm shutting down and when I shut down#I become small#but also pretty much my whole life I've used sex to cope ever since I was way too young#so I have these conflicting feelings#one minute I want someone to hold and baby me while I cry in a safe space#the next minute I want my kinkiest of fantasies#I don't want them to mix but I just I had someone who could deal with that someone who's brain is as fast as mine#or at least understands :(#Im painfully sad#I've lost my father in the means of I can't talk to him anymore#I gotta put on the mask again and just focus on making everyone else happy#because trying to fix things isn't working#and it's just making them hurt me more#I wish I could escape without having to hurt them#I wish I could just run away and live on my own or with a friend#but I need my dad at the end of the day I'm not independent#I just wish people cared about how their words affect me#it just feels like people only care about me cus they're SUPPOSED to not cus they WANT to#I dunno#I just hate myself so much and I wish I could put someone else in front#someone that would be perfect and could handle being a doormat for my family to walk on#as I slept in my consciousness#I just want everyone to be happy and leave me alone I wish I could shut down completely and have someone else take over#if there was a button that could power me down and put my body into perfect daughter mode I'd do it#I'm so tired and empty and my body is angry and tense all of the time#my soul is apathetic but my body is engulfed in anger#I'm too heavy but I just wanna fall into someone's arms and cry
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unknownmads · 1 year ago
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PRISON TOJII (he’s so addictive🤭) if he’s so bad then why does he look so good? like that’s literally my baby daddy y’all✊🏼😍 i wrote this kinda quick sorry i’ve been so busy y’all
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“hey doll it’s good to finally meet you.”
the words rang through your ears having this be the first time you heard his voice, it was deep and rough his ton was teasing you quietly.
Prison Toji who’s eyes track as you reach into your bag grabbing a small notebook and pen. Opening the notebook revealed a page already full of questions you were waiting to ask him. oh how cute you are thinking about him so much just so excited. he’s pulled out of his trance when you finally speak.
“hi toji, it’s great to finally meet you too” your voice soft at first from your original anxiety about the situation. i mean your just here to meet him for your class nothing more. right? you wouldn’t be here because you love reading his letters telling you how pretty you are. how he wished he could take you out properly. Shamelessly telling you how hard he got to your pictures, but he was just flirting he’s a man in a prison it’s what happens.
Prison toji who finally speaks next the seconds feeling like eternity for him. He doesn’t want to have to sit across a table from you he wants you in his lap sitting pretty just how you are now.
“That’s a lot of writing in your lil notebook doll, you been thinkin of me?” this time his tone laced with teasing and smirk displayed on his lips. it draws attention to his scar, you had never asked about it not wanting to push things you shouldn’t, but you can’t help but ask anyways.
“where’d you get that scar?” pointing to your own lip as you looked up at him. a small chuckle escapes him surprised at your bluntness.
“well you’re quick to the questions today. you wanna get a closer look at it?” the gawking look one your face giving you away. with a quick nod you were leaning across the table to get a closer look as he did the same to help you.
Prison Toji who stops you with an almost surprised grunt when your hand reaches up to touch his lip where the scar is
“shit sorry” quietly escapes you as you looked away for a second toji takes this as an opportunity
“you’re okay sweetheart just gonna get us in some trouble if you do that.” his lips next to your ear as his breath brushing against your ear “can’t control myself around such a pretty thing like you.”
Prison Toji whose pants grow so much tighter when he sees how flustered you get from such a simple comment. You turn back to face him, his eyes instantly meeting yours challenging you telling you to do it, see how far it goes, see how bad he possibly is, and just like a moth to a flame you do just that. your hand grazing where his scar is going to cup his face, it was all so fast you could barely process it. he forced himself forward slamming his lips to yours. shock took you first then you eased into the kiss and began kissing back. and then you remembered HES A PRISONER AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR SCHOOL.
Prison toji whose ready to snap his cuffs when you pull away. leaning into you as much as he could almost whining when your lips part from his. he sees you shocked and guilt ridden with your finger touching your lips
“whats wrong doll didn’t like it? give me another chance to try again” his body fully leaning to you practically half way over the table.
“im sorry we shouldn’t hav- it wasn’t bad- just we can’t Toji.” your thoughts swirling the world is spinning. Could you get kick out of school? what if someone saw? are there cameras in here? why do i still want to? it’s wrong.
“It’s fine sweetheart no one will know, just you and me i know you want more from the look on your face and the way your sqeezin your thighs. don’t even try to deny it.”
Caught. like a fly in a trap, he’s got you.
Prison toji whose cock jumps when you slide out of your seat and approach him looking to make sure the guards weren’t watching. unknowing to the fact that toji already blackmailed both of them to let him have all the privacy he needed with you. the look in your eyes as you approached was pure lust and need for him.
“your sure we’ll be fine right?” you say as you lean down towards him
“im positive doll i made sure of it.”
Prison Toji who finally snaps his cuffs unable to take anymore. grabbing your hips and pulling you into his lap his face clashing with your the kiss is sloppy and full of need. a small sound escaping as he deepens the kiss.
“i’ve been dreaming of this.”
TAGS: @altgojo @nanmiik @kouyoumarryme @imaslothandsowhat @dragonmaiden79 @sircatchungus
SOME OF YALL DIDNT SHOW UP WHEN I SEARCHED IM SO SORRY😭
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moonstruckme · 6 months ago
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Hey so i have a request and you can totally say no if this makes you uncomfortable but would you consider writing a poly marauders x reader where the readers depressed and can’t get anything done im asking cause I’ve been. Going through something and i thought id be okay by now but I’ve kinda regressed idk and now im depressed idk pls don’t write this if its to hard or upsetting
Thank you for your request lovely, I really hope things are getting easier for you or that they do soon <3
cw: depression
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 984 words
You realize the boys must be home when Remus crouches in front of you. You hadn’t heard the car come up the driveway, nor the door opening. You were too deep inside your own head. Or maybe you’d drifted off into another of your light, unsatisfying sleeps. 
“Hi.” He offers you a little smile, putting out his hand. You worm yours out from under your blanket to give it to him, and he rubs his thumb across your knuckles fondly. “How was your day, lovely?” 
“Fine,” you say. Your voice rasps a bit from disuse. 
“I’m opening the curtains,” James warns from somewhere behind you. “Here, take these.” 
Sirius’ grunt sounds surprised. “Since when is carrying in the groceries a relay sport?” he complains. 
True to James’ word, light floods the living room a moment later. It illuminates Remus’ face in front of you, letting you see the gentle concern in his eyes. His gaze moves up above your head just before strong hands grasp you by the shoulders. 
“I missed you,” says James, hugging downwards at you until he gives up and lets his body flop over the back of the couch, “so much, today.” 
You pet down the hair at his nape, love like a bubble in your chest that’s always on the brink of popping. You love the way James hugs; it’s like he really is trying to feel as close to you as he can be, with his face bent towards your neck and one hand splayed behind your heart. You let yourself meld to him. Remus starts collecting your little mess from the coffee table, taking things into the kitchen.
“It was only a few hours,” you say. 
James makes a jokey harrumphing sound. “A few hours too many.” He lets you go to plant a smacking kiss on your cheek. “If you could have one thing for dinner tonight, what would it be?” 
“I thought we agreed to stop playing that game,” says Sirius, coming back in to sit down on the armrest of the couch. He sees where you’re toying with James’ hair and takes a lock between his own fingers. “You need a haircut, Jamie.” 
“You’re one to talk,” James quips, though he leans into the touch, always more than happy to have his hair played with. “And we only agreed to stop playing with you, because your expectations were too high.” 
“They were not.” 
“Why would you think we’d be able to get what we needed for escargot at our corner shop?” 
“If you didn’t want to know what I actually wanted, you shouldn’t have asked.” 
“Anyway,” James turns back to you, “what would you have, lovie?” 
“And before you say,” says Sirius, “the correct answer is tomato basil soup with a cheese toastie.”
James sulks, thwarted, and you stroke your thumb over his nape consolingly. “That sounds really lovely,” you say earnestly. “Was I really supposed to guess that on my own, though?” 
“You might’ve,” he mumbles. “Anyway, I was thinking you could be my soup stirrer. If you’re up for the task.” 
It’s an odd feeling, affection and guilt intertwined so well you can’t fully tell which is which. You know James is making a point of asking you so that you might come to the kitchen, be among them for a bit instead of staying off in your own world, do a task that makes you feel productive even if it’s small. You appreciate that he does it, and you loathe yourself for making him feel the need to. You wish your boyfriends wouldn’t coddle you not because you don’t like it but because you like it too much. You don’t deserve it. 
“Hey.” Sirius’ voice draws you back out from inside your head again. It’s become such a frequent haunt you don’t always realize you’re going anymore. He’s studying you. “You okay?” 
You hum as Remus comes back in, sitting on the now clean coffee table. “Thanks for doing that,” you murmur. His eyebrows lift slightly when he realizes you’re talking to him. “Sorry I left a mess.” 
Remus tsks, reaching forward to brush a piece of hair from your forehead. “It wasn’t really a mess,” he says. “I don’t mind. Are you going to help us with dinner?” 
“Yeah.” It’s not so much a decision as a yielding, but James beams like you’ve made his day. It makes you want to cry. 
Sirius wraps an arm around your waist when you get up to go to the kitchen, squeezing the fat of your hip lovingly. “Think I’ll take up the duty of stirring the soup, too,” he says to you. “Seems like a two-person job.” 
“Probably, yeah.” You let yourself lean into his side. He takes your weight happily, mushing a kiss into your hair. “Sorry I’m so lame lately,” you tell him quietly. “You guys don’t need to coddle me so much.” 
“You’re not lame, who said that?” Sirius jostles you a little bit. When you don’t laugh, he changes his approach, leaning his head against yours. “We’re not coddling you, sweetheart. You’re just in a rut right now, yeah? And we’re meeting you where you’re at.” 
He makes it sound so simple, but your throat clogs with the true difficulty of it all. When you reply your voice is thick. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get out.” 
“You will,” he promises surely. “I don’t know how long it might take, but it’ll happen. And if whatever we’re doing isn’t working for you, we can figure something else out, okay? We’re with you.” 
When James says it’s your time to stir, Sirius insists on standing behind you and holding your hand that’s holding the spoon. Remus rolls his eyes at the idea of it being a two-person job, but you don’t know. You think maybe it takes all four of you to make it work.
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f1boistrash · 9 months ago
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i have a name | l.s
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a/n: so this is an idea i had after the miami gp and its been stuck in my head so im finally writing it. there is some slight jos slander and reader is max's sister
summary: y/n verstappen drives for f1 academy. they find comfort in a certain american when the media gets too much
Your whole life you've always been Max's sister. You didn't hate your brother for it because it wasn't his fault. You hated the world for being so small minded. You hated your dad for not caring. His words stuck in your head like a broken record. 'You're overreacting Y/N. It's not a big deal. You need to grow up.'
But it was a big deal because why couldn't they be bothered to learn your name. Your accomplishments throughout your career always amounted to 'Max's sister' it was never 'Y/N Verstappen'. You were sure if they could your trophies would say that too.
Going into the F1 Academy you thought it'd be different. You were excited when you got the call. The first person you told was Max and he was even more excited than you, if that was even possible. You were at the forefront of the series, watching young girls across the world become interested in the sport you loved. Something you wished you had growing up.
The driving was great. The team was great. Everything was great except the media. Its the one thing you dreaded stepping into the spotlight more. You tried to develop a thick skin like your brother but it was difficult when you constantly got picked at.
"So, Y/N, great day today. You qualified third. How was it?" The interviewer asked.
"Yeah it was great. Obviously we'd prefer P1 but we're still happy with the result and looking forward to pushing it even more tomorrow." You replied, grinning at your result. It might not be front of the grid but you were still proud.
"Your brother Max had a phenomenal season last year. Can we expect the same this year?" And there it was. Your first interview of the weekend and it only took one question before they asked you about your brother. Normally you didn't mind talking about Max's accomplishments. You were so unbelievably proud of him. It's when they start talking about him when they should be asking you about your race and your season that you get annoyed.
You plastered on your fake smile, hoping no one saw the disappointment flash across your face. "It's hard to say what this year will bring but what I do know is that Max will give it his everything. Whatever happens though I'm still proud of him."
Before anymore questions about Max could be asked your manager made a sign that time was up. You thanked the interviewer and left the media pen. She gave you a run down of tomorrows schedule as you were now finished for the day. Your manager didn't need to ask if you were okay because she knew you weren't. Working with you for a few years meant she had learnt all your tells.
You thanked her for today before parting ways, leaving you alone. The night air was brisk but welcoming. You shut your eyes and sighed enjoying the silence. You were supposed to be meeting Max tonight yet you couldn't bring yourself to move. Not wanting to face him just yet.
It was late and you weren't expecting many people left at the grid. Especially the F1 drivers which was why you jumped when a voice broke the silence. "Y/N right?" Logan said, your stomach fluttered when you looked at him. You have never really spoken to Logan before, only seeing him in passing but you always thought he was cute. He also called you by your name and not 'Max's sister' which was a welcomed surprise, used to his friends calling you that. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"It's fine, just wasn't expecting anyone to be left at the track." You told him. You took in his appearance under the setting sun. He was in his Williams uniform, his hair slightly tousled from wearing his hat all day.
"Yeah, I was just heading out. Had to do a few tweaks before tomorrow. What are you doing here late?" He asked.
"Media." You grimaced. Logan laughed, understanding your reaction.
"That bad huh?"
"Yep." You nodded. "Talked about Max the whole time."
The two of slowly started walking towards the car you have rented this weekend. It was one of the few left in the parking lot. "Seriously? That's so shit." Logan said, shaking his head. It wasn't out of pity though, more like anger.
"You get used to it." You shrugged.
"You shouldn't have to though." He told you, pulling you both to a stop. His eyes, looking at you intensely making you nervous. "You were incredible out there today and I'll definitely be watching tomorrow as you get your first podium of the season."
"Wait, you watched qualifying?" You asked, surprised.
"Don't tell my trainer though." Logan grinned, winking at you making you laugh. It was a sound he could get used to.
"Well thank you Logan. It means a lot." You thanked him, coming to a stop when you reached the drivers seat door.
"You have a name, Y/N. Your not just Max Verstappen's sister and I hope you know that." He said, earnestly.
You don't know what came over you but you found yourself leaning up, pressing a kiss on Logan's cheek. "Thank you."
-x-
"You're late." Was all Max said as you walked through your hotel room door. You kicked off your shoes, walking further into the room seeing your brother lying on your freshly made bed scrolling on his phone.
"Don't you have a sim race or something?" You asked, shoving his feet off your bed trying to change the subject because what else can you say? The reason you were late was the slight breakdown you had about the interview and then you bumped into Logan. You couldn't exactly tell Max that.
He playfully stuck his middle finger up at you, knowing you were making fun of him. "How was your day anyway? Excited for tomorrow?"
"Yeah it was good." You lied. You liked that Max was oblivious sometimes because it meant you didn't have to talk about what people said about you. However, you also hated his obliviousness because sometimes you wanted your brother to comfort you. "Hopefully people won't get sick of the Dutch national anthem." You grinned at Max who laughed loudly.
You asked Max about his day and he told you about how confident he was with this years car, excited to see what he can get out of it. He carried on talking as you got out of your team uniform and into some comfy clothes when he quietened down.
"When were you going to tell me?" Max asked when you exited the bathroom. "About what the interviewer said?"
"It's fine Max." You said, avoiding his gaze on you by putting your clothes away. You were afraid if you looked at him the dam would break.
"It's not fine, Y/N." He huffed, his voice raising out of anger. It wasn't aimed at you though, Max would never raise his voice at you. "It was so unprofessional. Not to mention the commentators today couldn't even be bothered to learn your name. I'm going to do something about it."
Max's reaction reminded you of Logan's. You didn't think anyone would care this much. Especially someone who you never really had a conversation with before. You knew it was pointless to ask Max to leave it alone so you didn't bother. "Just please don't do anything stupid."
"When have I ever done that?" Max asked and you laughed. You would run out of fingers if you counted all the times Max did something stupid.
It was getting late and you and Max said your goodbyes, leaving you alone once again with your thoughts. Instead of the video on repeat in your head it was Logan's words. You reached over for your phone and unlocked it, going straight to instagram to find Logan's profile. You hit follow before going to his dms.
Y/N:
Thank you again for tonight.
His response was quick making your stomach flutter.
Logan:
You don't need to keep thanking me Y/N
Y/N:
I know
I enjoyed talking to you tonight
So thank you for your company 😊
Logan:
I enjoyed talking to you too 😊
I hope we can do it again some time
You were sure you were grinning like an idiot but you didn't care. You had fallen for the American and hard.
Y/N:
I would love to ☺️
Good luck for tomorrow Logan 💙
Logan:
Good luck Y/N 😊
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tacticalprincess · 9 months ago
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ok ok but imagine being simon’s gf and könig just being so infatuated with u :( he likes you so so much, believes you deserve better than simon and just pines after you ^_^
very im on fire of him
könig’s never been one to be discreet about his feelings, especially toward you. he doesn’t owe simon anything, much less loyalty. his crush has become an inside joke amongst the crew, has gotten dirty looks thrown at him by simon too many times to count for being just slightly too touchy to be friendly, too intense in his yearning. tuning in intently whenever you talk, doing small favors for you whenever he gets the chance, asks after you when you’re gone. too close for comfort, oughta get himself in trouble, simon says.
its hard to ignore a stare that burns a hole in the side of your head, weighted like a caress on all the exposed parts of your body. könig gets some sort of satisfaction out of watching you squirm under his intense gaze, eyes trained on you most of the time he’s around, because at least he makes you feel something. he wishes to sliver underneath your skin and infiltrate your thoughts just as you’ve done to him, sending his emotions into haywire just by way of existing. smiling at him so brightly, extending a fraction of the warmth and kindness that comes naturally to you, craves it when he’s alone at night. your boyfriend can’t blame him.
simon’s weird, quiet teammate, helplessly infatuated with you, his too cute, too sweet, too soft girlfriend. could only dream of experiencing the parts of you that are exclusively for simon — wonders how someone like you even ended up with a man like him. looking far too out of place under his tattooed arm, bottom lip tucked between pearly teeth bashfully while he chats to the group of guys in typical boyish manner. the occasional ducks of his head to kiss your forehead when he remembers you’re there is not enough attention showed to such a pretty, doting thing like you, in könig’s humble opinion. it’s not even that he believes he’s better than him, but a selfish part of him would rather you end up in his calloused hands than anyone elses. his mind strays the longer he observes you, imagines all the ways he’d treat you better, take care of you like you deserve. would’ve probably already proposed to you by now given the chance. you might seem happy enough, but that doesn’t stop him from searching for cracks in the polished porcelain. always waiting for a spot to slip in.
he finally gets you alone one night, finds you where you wandered off into price’s basement to fetch more beer. coming behind you to grab the case from your delicate hands like lifting a feather off the ground.
“boyfriend not here to do this for you?”
after you regain your composure from the startle, you scoff, peering up at könig through your lashes. “just thought i’d do something nice for him.”
“sweet. does he always allow you to do a man’s job?” sarcasm bites at his words.
“allow me—?”
“do you think he even noticed your absence, maus?” he presses a bit harder, his face holding the same indifference it always does under his mask, tone flat around his accent. “as i did?”
his eyes search yours for a second, looking for any sign of reciprocation for his feelings, and somehow you can tell he knows you don’t know how to respond. as a show of mercy, he steps to the side to let you squeeze past his frame and up the stairs leading back inside the house, heavy footsteps following slowly behind. he watches as you so easily slip back into simon’s side, how his arm finds its home around your shoulders without effort. concern knits your boyfriend’s eyebrows together as he leans down to peck your lips, never breaking eye contact with könig over your shoulder, a petty display of ownership. he watches.
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mikgreo · 9 months ago
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BLLK BOYS! + “tits, boobs, or thighs?”
18+ slight nsfw, fluff.
ft. isagi, sae, aiku, reo, nagi, shidou.
a/n: im having blue lock brainrot and i cant escape them. YES, i had to write each one individually😊 kinda biased on reo.. hes my fav<3
MIGHT DO A PT. 2!!
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➩ YOICHI ISAGI thighs.
he likes to think of himself as a gentleman, so he fears that staring at your ass or tits would make you uncomfortable. but from past experiences and from what hes seen, hes picked up that girls love having hands on their thighs. he loves resting his hands on your thighs and giving them an occasional squeeze. he doesnt care if your skinny, chubby, or overweight, he loves them, as much as he loves you.
“huh? honey, why are you asking me that, haha.” he scratches the back of his head, “if i had to be honest, i’d say your thighs, i love how squishy they are.”
he says as he kissed your cheek and hugged you tight, “i love you no matter what, baby <3.”
➩ ITOSHI SAE ass.
sae loves buying you expensive dresses, he likes bringing you to the fancy dinners or parties his co-workers invite him to. he loves the way the tight dresses he buys you complement your body and curves. he has you close by at all times and is very possessive of you, he finds himself holding you under his “wing” and putting his hands on your waist. he knows what he has and isnt scared to show it off, but he also knows youll be facing him the whole time, so he likes to show off his girl.
“hm. probably yer ass.” he said having the same nonchalant look on his face. “i like having those old geezers have something, they wish they could get, to look at. makes em reaal jealous. makes me the best for having such a beauty by my side.”
“i like showing off my trophies.”
➩ OLIVER AIKU tits.
aiku has a guilty pleasure of sucking on your boobs, he denies having a mommy kink, but he thinks it would be so fucking hot getting you pregnant and sucking milk out of your tits. hes not picky, but he prefers bigger boobs, he likes laying his head on them also, while fondling them.
“i hate to admit, but i fuckin’ love your tits, babe.” he looks up at you while he has his head on your chest.
“they’re jus so damn squishy and round, they sit so pretty, luv.”
➩ MIKAGE REO thighs.
growing up around money and wealthy people, the rich women he would encounter had always had some sort of plastic surgery/ procedure done, which he hated. he wanted a woman who had natural beauty, and a naturally beautiful personality to go with that. so when he met you, he fell in love, of course he couldn’t immediately act on it, not only fearing his parents disapprovement but he was scared that you would only like him for his money. but you guys hit it off just fine (a/n: i will prob write a fic ab this later, teehee.) present time, he is so inlove with you, he likes that you have natural features, of course paying no mind that you wear makeup or not, he loves you for you. he likes your thighs because its the only thing he knows a woman cant change about herself, he likes the naturalness that comes with them.
“Well, i love your thighs baby.. probably because i love laying on them, and i love how warm they are. so comfy too.” he kisses the top of your head.
“.. and cus i know thats the only thing you cant change about yourself so they’re mine forever<3.”
➩ SEISHIRO NAGI tits.
why? cus he likes the erocticness of them. (a/n: is that a word??) hes seen many video games with big busted women, so he’s always found them attractive, nagi also thinks its too much of a hassle to focus on anything else on the body, naturally boobs are the most prominent feature on a girls body, they easily stand out. so he just went with that. he personally likes to lay on them, alot. nagi would prefer smaller chested girls, mainly because he thinks theyre adorable, he would definitely belittle you because of it, since he is so used to seeing women with big boobs, he thinks small ones are less overwhelming, but cute.
“mm, probs yer boobs. i like the way they feel, like stress balls, i like that theyre not big, but not too small. theyre just right for me. theyre cute.”
he definitely was confused on why you were blushing but also mad at him. no girl wants her boyfriend to tell her she has a small chest!!!
➩ RYUSEI SHIDOU ass.
shidou loves slapping your ass. in public? hes gripping it. private? cupping it. around his friends? slapping it. there will never be a time where hes not doing something with your butt. this man is a sucker for doggy, and backshots, o how he loves them. he definitely makes u do reverse cowgirl as well. definitely unironically says “gyat” to you..
will eat ur butt. will do anal. hes that freaky..
“you seriously asking me dis? obviously yer fucking butt dude i love it, i could go onnn and on about how soft and jiggly it is. level 5 gyat mama.” he winked at you turning around, crouching down to get something from the fridge. you sprinted over to him just to slap his butt for revenge.. he did not like that. lets just say u wont he walking anytime soon!!
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forchosangwoo · 1 month ago
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Please please please please pleaseeeee I need Gi Hun so badddd please write literally anything about him X f!reader pleaseeee (preferably smut, but it could be fluff and/or both)
— typa guy ☆ seong gihun headcannons
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paring(s) : seong gihun x f!reader warnings : mdni, nsfw notes : thank you for requesting!! xx headcannons again because im not as familiar with gihun sorry TT hope you like it!! more coming tomorrow..? (hopefully)
SFW . . . !
gihun is the type of guy who would be scared to leave you by yourself. he'd be super protective over you, even over small things like who crosses the road first and who walks on which side of the sidewalk.
gihun is the type of guy who wishes he could give you the world. even when he couldn't support you financially, he would make up for it in another ways. he'd make diy presents and cook you dinner to express his love for you.
gihun is the type of guy to melt into your arms. he loves you so much that he could probably cry at the sight of you, as if he's overwhelmed by how much he adores you. he'd enjoy being both the small and bigger spoon when cuddling.
gihun is the type of guy who would want to always make you laugh or smile. he'd make corny jokes and shower you with compliments because when you're happy, he's also happy.
gihun is the type of guy to flex about you to his friends. he'd tell his friends about everything he loves about you to his friends with a huge smile on his face. he'd be so proud to call you his girlfriend or wife.
gihun is the type of guy to wonder how he got so lucky to have you as his partner. he'd constantly be reminding you how much he loves you and how happy he is to call you his.
gihun is the type of guy to be the best at comforting you, even though he doesn't feel like he does. he's the type to feel insecure and worry that he can't comfort you well enough, however that's simply not true.
gihun is the type of guy who would quit his gambling and smoking addiction just for you. of course his daughter would be apart of the reason, but you were what kept him going. imagining your face mixed with disappointment and sadness was enough to make him quit.
NSFW . . . !
gihun is the type of guy who would give you the best head of your life. he'd be so good at eating you out, every part of you would be begging for more.
gihun is the type of guy to constantly make sure you're okay and not hurt. he'd always listen to what you want and make sure you consent to everything he wants to do. he'd take your comfort first.
gihun is the type of guy who would fuck you like it's your last night together (especially after the games). he'd accidentally hold you maybe a bit too hard, as if you would disappear if he let go. his movements and touch would be filled with more love than lust.
gihun is the type of guy who can be both a dom and sub. as long as he's with you, he doesn't mind.
gihun is the type of guy who'd, never without fail, give you the best aftercare. he'd clean you and everything else up, making sure all of your needs are met. you'd fall asleep together as he clings to you as if his life depends on it.
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bonbonly · 2 months ago
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need a continuation of college au Charles actually taking away your panties because you’re so wet all the time fully knowing it’s because of him. Maybe he’ll plug your pussy up instead telling you that it’s just a treatment but the entire day (or days he plugs you) you’re squirming with every step not able to think about anything else. When you’re back with him for a check he plays with the plug a little making you so wet that he decides he needs to ‘drain’ you making you squirt
i actually started crying out loud reading this, anon, im actually so down bad now for college au charles leclerc and im not even a leclerc girlie pLEASE bon thoughts (18+)
poor you. you listened to collegeau!charles leclerc during the inspection and told yourself to not get wet. it was wrong! but every night when you went back to your dorm, all you could do was think about his fingers inside you, or his big cock bullying your cunt. he told you it was part of the procedure, but why did you want more?
charles is extremely cocky now that he knows he's the reason you keep drenching your panties, and he decides to tease you further. he knows you'll come back for him, so he doesn't have to worry too much about being safe with the boundaries and whatnot. besides, you promised to keep your pretty mouth shut and never tell a soul about what happens in the exam room. after all, both of you had a reptutation to maintain!
he takes your panties, telling you to never wear one from now on and to only ever wear skirts so that if you ever bend over in the library, everyone should see how your cunt is crying to be filled up, but no one would be allowed to touch. only he had that privilege. you nod your head at whatever he says, trusting him completely. he was the inspector, of course he knew better than you! he pulls out a small plug from his bag, and brings up to your mouth asking you to suck on it like you would to a lollipop. you nervously do so, looking at him to make sure you were doing it properly and once its wet enough he shoves it inside you, loving the way your back was arching already.
"whats this for?" you ask, furrowing your brows.
"just a check, really. you'll have to wear it until i see you next time, though. don't take it off at all, mon ange," charles instructs you.
the next time that you see him, you're whining and fussing. you're being a bit of a brat, squirming in your seat and begging him to take the plug out of you,
"i hate it! i hate it! it just feels so.... ugh," you whine out loud, bucking your hips in the air. you were chasing after something but you didn't know what. charles takes his gloves off, chucking them in a trash can nearby and rolls his chair over to where you're sitting. he taps your thighs, signaling for you to spread your legs under that miniskirt you were wearing and he's delighted to see that a) you weren't wearing panties and b) your cunt was squeezing that plug, your juices dripping down like a thunderstorm. he pulls the plug out just a few millimeters before shoving it back in you, and you're actually sobbing now,
"charles, no, no, no, please! please!"
"please what?" charles asks, and you shake your head,
"i... i dunno," you reply, your head falling back onto the bed with a thud as tears flow down your cheeks. he glances at the door behind him, making sure the room was locked before unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off of him.
"there's just too much, chérie, you're just too wet," he whispers against your cunt, toying more with the plug. your cunt keeps clenching around the toy, begging to have some relief because the torture you went through in a week was just too much for your poor little brain. charles takes the plug out for good, listening to your whimpers. he watch your hole pucker up at the cold air and he smiles, draping your legs over his shoulders. just the touch of his warm skin against yours makes you moan, wishing he'd do something about your aching pussy, that couldn't be normal right? he had to have some procedure for this!
"i might have to drain you out," charles looks up slightly to meet your eyes, and you're nodding your head,
"yes, yes, anything, charles, just do something!"
he's smirking at your reaction, mumbling to himself how desperate you were but it doesn't reach your ears because his tongue is licking long stripes against your folds. you moan out loud, bucking your hips up but charles holds you down against the table as his licks grow deeper, deeper into your hole. his nose rubs against your clit, and the small stubble he has on his chin prickles the inside of your thighs, making you jolt at each move of his head.
"i should've done the taste test weeks ago," he grunts, sucking your clit before flicking it with his tongue, "oh you taste divine, you taste amazing."
his tongue dances down to your entrance, and he bobs his head as he does so, watching you writhe above him as he adds two fingers. he's hell bent on seeing you come undone for good. he's picking up his pace, adding a third finger and pumping them faster inside you. he moves his head away to get a good look at your reactions, mouth wide open as your eyes are rolling to the back of your head. he has a thumb rubbing hard circles on your clit as he's curling his fingers right where you need him the most.
"c-charles! w-wait, oh my!" you're shrieking, feeling something grow inside of you that you didn't even think was possible. it was different than the feeling like last time, but this felt more intense. charles didn't stop his relentless assault and instead went right back to harshly sucking your clit as his fingers danced inside you.
and with a large scream, you're squirting all over his fingers, watching his mouth chase after your liquids, lapping at whatever he could taste as his fingers kept going. you look down to see his face covered in your juices, some of them dribbling down his bare chest. his lips are parted ever so slightly and he's licking them and biting the inside of his cheek, "I think we can do one more, right chérie?"
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anaconamor · 4 months ago
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night in - jb blurb.
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warm bubble feeling burns your chest as you feel jude place a kiss on your temple, sitting right next to you on the floor, placing your hot drink next to his. “you’re having way to much fun on this,” he teased, resting his chin on your shoulder, while looking at you intently as you finished the second bag of the moana’s flowerpot legos.
“i fear i’m having way too much fun,” you joke back, clicking and connecting the small lego. “you realize these are made for nine year olds right?” he pushed further, helping you separate the legos in piles so you could find the legos easier. “so? i don’t complain when you play fifa at your grown age? screaming like a little girl when you unpack a player?” you defend watching jude open his mouth in shock, a glimmer of surprise in his eyes.
“i’m glad we stayed in. i haven’t seen you much lately and i didn’t want to have just dinner and the call if a night. i love these little moments with you, d’you know? our playlist playing in the back, some baking, maybe cooking? but definitely how i have you all to myself…” jude says, his hand running up and down your spine, making you spin and face him directly where you brush a tamed curl back to already done hair.
“sounds like you just want to keep me for yourself?” you say watching how jude is ready to explain and yap but you cut him off quickly. “i’m kidding. i love staying in dates. especially around this time of your when your season is beginning to get hectic. believe it or not these dates have so much more meanings to when we’re out. i get to see a side of you only i can experience and see, and im so incredibly grateful for that. for you,” you smile leaning into his side where jude shyly looks down.
“don’t get shy with me mister.”
“oh like how you get shy after we-”
“okay so that’s like completely different?” you laugh dismissing the idea that was brewing in his head. “also i get to play house when i’m here. look at this place! the kitchen? the pool? the garden? the garden is my favorite we’ve grown so much in just under a year!” you say excitedly, giving up on the lego set, as now all you wanted was to be next with jude. to feel his safe embrace, his scent, to feel the comfort only he can give.
“those damn bunnies ruined it at first, i swear i was going to insane. i just know they were doing it on purpose after one stared me down as it ate the cherry tomatoes!” jude reclaimed, leaning back against the couch, bringing you to his lap where he traced your bracelet and the tiny tattoo on your thigh. the one of many you had, but this one was jude’s favorite. you didn’t have to tell him, but he could tell it was meant for him.
“to be fair you tormented that poor thing,” you recalled, thinking of the endless possibilities jude did so he could get rid of the bunnies in a happy manner. “it got what it deserved,” jude shrugged, taking a sip of mug, offering one of the infamous pumpkin pilsbury cookies to you.
“what else is on your fall bucket list?”
“we’ve done mostly all besides watching scary movies, visit a pumpkin patch and get a couples costume for trent’s party soon. besides that we’ve knocked everything else out,” you say cheery, the sense of joy never leaving you, knowing you were able to cross off and completely those wishes. “what has been your favorite activity yet?” he asked, tugging on a tiny string from your knitted sweater.
“probably decorating your house for the fall, since it was way to white… that or when we painted the pumpkins with the little kids,” you spoke softy and gently. watching jude’s eyes crinkle from paying attention to remembering the beautiful memory. “i really enjoyed that too, but nothing could beat fright fest,” jude laugh making you shake your head rapidly. t
“jude! i still haven’t forgave you for that! you take us to apparently a theme park and then walking in, there’s horror everywhere. especially those damn clowns…” you say, a tint of nervousness as you spoke out loud. “but i made it up to you,” he pouts, leaning up and pulling your face closer to his. “i won you a plenty stuffed animals and went downstairs for a week to get a glass of water. i was your protector.”
“you always are,” you hug him, your fingers grazing and tracing his ears down to his. “the beard has grown on me. you look very manly,” you say, his hairs tickling your palm. “i was thinking about shaving it soon,” he says, feeling completely relaxed as you touched him. it was that effect you had on him and he loved that so much. no feeling or person could make him feel the way you felt.
“nope. it will take too long for me to get used to,” you deny shaking your head as jude chuckles, grabbing your thighs and placing you on your back, jude not holding back from his physical touch. peppering kisses on your forehead, nose, cheeks, your lips then down to your neck where you had another tattoo. your weak spot. “stop it, i know what you’re trying to do and it won’t work,” you warn.
“i’m just trying to show you my love and affection,” he said sarcastically, playing with the fabric on your chest, as he had layed his head gently on you. “yes but you have two meanings towards that… your mom is also right upstairs…” you whisper the last part, afraid of speaking to loudly. this was her house as much as it was his as well. he sighs, accepting defeat and pulling you closer to him. not before pulling you into a kiss that made you want to say fuck it. that damn kiss that forever leaves you breathless and wanting more.
“we should watch a horror movie,” you try to say between his kiss but jude was to focused on you. how you kissed him. how you tasted. feeling weaker but also stronger than ever. “no,” he stoped, this time flipping you over so you could lay on his chest.
“right i forgot. you’re a scaredy cat when it comes-”
“no i’m not! i just don’t want to bring any bad energy in my house,” he cheesed hardly, looking up knowing you were giving him a “are you serious look”.
“the best i can do is watch the nightmare before christmas. take it or leave it,” he shrugged hearing you laugh. “works for me, i’ll hold you tight so you don’t run off,” you teased, jude gasping. “listen the movie is already creepy as it is… especially that little scientist,” he shuddered.
after cleaning up and putting away any mess and cleaning the dishes, instead of traumatizing your tall boyfriend, you settled with his choice of movie. happy either way since you knew jude loved showing you his collection of favorite old films. another part of his love language towards you. you couldn’t count how many times, not just with movies, but items, people even, that meant so much to him.
“are you sleepy?” you whisper, jude nodding. “i am but i want to stay up because i want to spend all the time i can with you,” he yawned, kissing your head. “i can stay the night if that’s okay with you and your mom,” you suggested knowing jude would be immediately agreeing. “my mom adores you and you know she would rather have you stay than leave so late, especially me,” jude said, his thumb drawing circles on your hip.
“i’ll stay,” you smile, cuddling closer to jude as he looked down and smiled. not holding back from taking a picture and posting it, with an old school r&b song. soft launching you once again to the world. which you didn’t mind. “hey, why aren’t we shark boy and lava girl for trent’s party? or-” jude said abruptly.
“i’m leaving.”
“wait no!”
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