#as I slept in my consciousness
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yakam0z · 2 months ago
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against my better judgment, i made another datv character (qunari this time & now all slots are occupied) and i'm going to add him 🥰
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bonus preview of evren <3
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blackcurrant-juice · 2 months ago
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wondering why im so fucking sleepy for no reason then remembered I forgot to take my meds for 3 days
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devouring-hive · 6 months ago
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"I... Will, endeavour to-... Relax, so, that... It, does not, come across... Stilted."
...
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"More, stilted." She then corrects, with something somehow resembling a half-smile.
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aldieb · 7 months ago
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my friends were discussing how pretty mac is when i wasn’t there. also e cried when she met him due to his cuteness. specialest cat of all time
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michaelenthusiast · 1 year ago
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sorry for the michael hiatus . it will probably happen again
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isa-ah · 2 years ago
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been having some creepy stuff happen lately and who knows if it's paranormal or PTSD related ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
#while i was showering a few weeks back i glanced up and saw someones head peeking over the curtain like 7ft up#no face just hair. long and tawny#that night when we laid down to sleep we said our goodnights and a moment later i heard from the head of the bed#'i love you.'#but it sounded way yoo feminine and young yo be my husband so i asked what he just said and he was like ??? literally nothing#he didnt hear it at all even though it was perfectly audible to me#a few nights ago i woke up paralyzed by the absolute self assured KNOWLEDGE that a girl was standing in our bathroom doorway#except her feet were on the ceiling instead of the floor#i was 100% too scared to look bc out of a dead sleep i was so so so sure#i pushed my face into my husbands back and staid there bc i was ckncinced if i rolled back her hair would tickle my face#which yeah ok ive gotten paranoid delusions and hallucinations before bc my ptsd is. severe lol#but not like this really#this morning my dream was interrupted much how it is when an alarm starts going off and you hear it in your dream#its dismebodied and you can consciously recognize it was real life without necessarily realizing youre dreaming#i had that except whispering? moving around our bedroom coming towards me#and the more i focused on it the more i could hear the cricket ambience i was playing irl while we slept#and i had the thought thats weird. whos walking around my room whispering?#til it happened pressed right up against my ear and i JUMPED out of my skin instantly wide awake in bed#i have no clue if its real!!!! but man. what the fuck lol
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quiteunpersuadable · 22 days ago
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I need to be unplugged and restarted in the morning.
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sasquach-scratches · 11 months ago
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Finally got around to playing Elden Ring given the only Soulsborne game I played before the DLC dropped was Dark Souls 2 and ER is basically just Dark Souls 2: 2
But I kind of have an itch to play Vigilant on my Gore save since I haven't really "clicked" with ER yet
otoh I had to install ER overnight given how LONG it was taking so I don't want to waste that effort lmao
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cemeterygore · 1 year ago
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i just don’t know how much of this life thing i can take
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hollandsangel · 11 months ago
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move over | m. sturniolo
okAY here we go this is my first sturniolo fic please be nice to me i am afraid
ps if you’d like to be tagged in any (possible) future fics comment 🍜
summary: matt needs a bigger bed
wc: 1k
warnings: matt x fem!reader, cursing, nightmares? no description really, just funny and fluffy 🫡 all the triplets are in it but reader is dating matt!
..does anyone remember that one video where matt said chris never sleeps in his own bed? well…
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gif by @mattsturnioloarchive !
you feel yourself slipping back into consciousness, and you can tell from the soft, pale blue light of matt’s bedroom that it’s morning. matt’s fast asleep behind you, resting on his stomach with you tucked up into his side, his right arm slung over your waist. you’re already upset that you have to pee, the idea of crawling out of the sleep-warm bed and leaving your boyfriend’s cozy embrace is not an appealing one, but the nagging in your bladder won’t go away.
with a sleepy sigh you stretch your arm out just enough to the tap the screen of your phone, the numbers 8:23 glaring back you. you still don’t have to be up for another hour and a half, which you think is an acceptable amount of time left to lay in matt’s arms and snooze a bit more, even if you don’t really need anymore sleep.
it’s a bit tricky to clamber out of bed without waking the sleeping boy next to you. trying to keep from dragging the duvet with you when you slide out. you tuck matt back in properly before you wander off to his bathroom. softly, you click the door shut, and it, along with your sleep-hazy mind, muffles any sounds coming from outside the bathroom.
for once, chris slept in his own bed, knowing you’d be sleeping over and nick was editing the video meant to go up later this afternoon early into the morning. it’s too early for him to be waking up on his own but something stirs him into wakefulness, his heart beating a little faster than it should be.
matt had woken up for a mere second when you slipped out of bed and hasn’t fallen back into the depth of his sleep, waiting for you to come back. he’s just barley alert enough to hear shuffling from down the hall, getting louder until the person responsible is standing at the crack in the door.
“matt?” chris whispers, peeking into the bedroom.
matt groans and rolls over just until he can see his brother over his shoulder, “what, chris?”
“i had a fucked up dream, dude,” chris says, padding further into the room, “where’s y/n?”
matt turns a little closer to his brother, facing him now, “bathroom,” he mumbles, “what was it about?”
chris is still standing in the middle of the room, phone held loosely in his hand, “you got into a fuckin’ car accident, a really bad one” he admits, feeling a bit foolish and juvenile for running to his brother after a bad dream, “can i sleep in here?”
matt’s face softens and he rubs his eye, “yeah, ‘course.” he says, watching chris slowly walk towards the bed, “that’s her side,” he says though when chris tries to lay where you had been.
chris fakes a scowl and matt makes a face back, sleep still tugging at his mind. the two of them lay back down, back to back, tugging the covers over their shoulders.
you finish washing your hands and shut off the bathroom light. rubbing at your eyes, you make your way back to matt’s room, looking forward to sleeping a bit longer. upon wandering in you’re met with more than one body under the blankets, making you stop in your tracks.
“chris?” you wonder outloud, stopped in the door way.
matt answers before his brother can, “he had a bad dream,” he explains to you, face smushed into the pillow, leaving the words all muffled and extra groggy.
“sure,” you say, as if chris sleeping in matt’s bed doesn’t surprise you (it doesn’t). dragging your feet over to your side of the bed to matt, where he’s taking up a bit too much room. “move over,” you tell him when he peels the blankets back for you. he shuffles back with a little too much effort and you climb back into bed.
once you’re settled matt scoots a little bit closer to you to make more room for the three people now in his queen sized bed, but also because he never passes up an excuse to hold you a little tighter.
you doze in and out, matt’s soft breath against your neck keeping you a little bit dazed but not quite enough to lull you back to sleep fully. it must be nearing 10 am now, more bright sun spilling in from the cracks in the curtains above the bed. you think chris is awake too, hearing breathy little chuckles every now and then. you reach for your phone, deciding on a mindless scroll through instagram.
after a few minutes it sounds like nick has also woken up, his footsteps audible in the bedroom above. you hear him coming down the stairs, and you think he stops in the kitchen until his voice fills the quiet halls.
“chris?” he asks, standing in his brother’s empty bedroom, confused as to why he’s not in bed.
“in here,” chris speaks up, waiting for nick to press the door open.
he does, standing at arms length with a skeptical look on his face, almost afraid of what he might find. “um…hello, what are you doing in here?” nick asks, finally crossing the threshold.
“he had a bad dream,” matt says into your shoulder, startling you. you didn’t know he was awake.
“i had a bad dwream,” chris says in that stupid pouty voice that drives all of you insane, no doubt looking at nick with puppy dog eyes.
“oh…kay,” nick says and you laugh at the suspicion still evident in his tone.
“did you see the tik tok i sent you?” chris is laughing but stops abruptly when matt kicks him in the calf, which makes you giggle into your boyfriend’s arm.
“yeah, but i’m a bit more preoccupied with the absurdity of the three of you in matt’s bed right now,” nick says in his distinct deadpan drawl, which only makes you smile more.
“c’mon nick you might as well join us,” you say, earning a loud, over exaggerated groan from matt, his arms tightening around your waist.
you think nick must oblige because he doesn’t say anything for a second, coming closer to the bed.
“move over, dummy fuck,” he says to chris, who laughs out loud and scoots closer to matt.
“i hate them,” matt whispers in your ear.
tags! @mattsturnioloarchive @averysbestyears
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teruthecreator · 1 year ago
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tries not to throw up from anxiety 👍
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sheeezu · 28 days ago
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Shifting proof, you're not wasting your time.
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"My beloved, the distances between us have been erased, I am here, I am here."
(If anyone is able to guess which song lyric I translated here I will love you for all my existence)
If you're doubting shifting, then read this:
Let's dive into your mind. Most importantly, into your dreams.
Have you ever realised why you dream? Dreams are just for your subconscious mind to reherse your current reality, in practice all its doing is to ensure you don't fall out of your reality.
No matter how insane of a dream you're having, it has some resemblance with the life you are currently leading. Have you ever tried to figure out just how weird the whole concept of dreams are? For example, it's common knowledge to everyone, even antishifters, that lucid dreams are a thing. Meaning you can literally play around in your mind. When you sleep, do you realise the passage of time? Sometimes your sleep stretches on for long and you don't realise you've slept that much, sometimes, dream cover a lot within a short cycle of sleep. So what proof of time could you possibly present to yourself during your hours of slumbers, where is this clock that's supposed to dictate your life?
Sometimes you don't even dream, although unconscious processes are going on in your human brain, but where are you? In the void, you're floating around somewhere in the void, without any care of your reality for once, this is called your common consciousness, or just the void state.
Whenever you wake up from a deep sleep, you feel disoriented and confused, you hear conversations and imagine things which didn't happen, there is no literal proof that these happenings are just caused by general grogginess. This confusion is your consciousness readjusting to the reality you're in.
Let's discuss what all of this science and physics is. It's essentially just a method your consciousness put up in order for you to not fall out of reality, and to not have to face thanos out of nowhere, therefore logic exists.
We are from our roots just souls floating around in nothingness, we're souls capable of creation of anything by thoughts, will, and energy. We need a medium for suitable existence, for all of the people existing alongside us, what we have in common is that our consciousness has chose a similar mode of existence for us, which is by living as human beings on this livable spherical ball, where we accept the principles of luck.
Why does a system of being ridiculed by your environment and people around you and the formation of unwanted doubts exist whenever you claim something "impossible" by human terms, for example, if you assumed and started claiming the sun rising from the opposite direction as the truth, that's going to become your base since you are creating reality, therefore you will break reality and to prevent it you yourself once put these limitations, just like how you script your DRs.
But once you realise the fact that all along this organised way of existence was put up by you in order to excite your consciousness by going through these experiences, you'll realise shifting realities, manifesting, or just going back to floating as a soul in the void is a known principle for you and easy, and you don't have to struggle to gain it, you've been doing it all your existence, then you'll shift on command.
Reality is just like a dough, which you have been molding and adjusting it accordingly.
Shape that dough into your DR
It's you. It's always been you, you've been the main provider and controller, you've just temporarily gone to existing in the form of a human vessel, breaking free is nothing difficult.
Anyways, belief in this is all you need to shift, it's freaking easy even if it's just you going to your DR to get railed. "But doubts-!!" Shush. If doubts are able to stop a process for you, you could also utilise them in a way which benefit you, from this moment do a complete uno reverse card on your doubts, you used to doubts your manifestations, go ahead and start doubting your existence being anything but perfect.
"I don't think I can be a common human being weeping over mere earthly problems, all ill ever be is a master manifestor who could do whatever I want."
...
I finished this draft at 5:55.
Now that I think about it shifting using doubts could be pretty neat, but I still have another 2 methods bending from the poll, so that's on my pending list I guess.
This entire post was a rant from my side so if there is anything confusing or out of place, just ask. Ask away until your little heart is satisfied and then go shift because what are you doing here when you could just go study at hogwarts where the stairs try to put you in your grave.
...
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moonstruckme · 4 months ago
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hii!! i love ur blog lol. i saw ur requests were open and i thought maybe id send one in! no pressure at all to do it, thank you for writing what you write (it’s really comforting!) i was wondering if you could do poly!marauders with a reader who is overworking herself for exams/college stuff and is hiding from her boyfriends because she knows they’ll be stern with her and make her take a break? so she tries to evade them but they foil her evil little plan lol. maybe like dom!remus… i’m obsessed w him.. just an idea!!!! have an amazing day 🩷
Thanks for requesting, hope you have an amazing day too!
cw: d/s dynamics to be found if you want them to be, mostly they're just bossy
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 814 words
There are nice voices seeping into your consciousness. Soft, comforting. You snuggle into the gentleness of their familiar hum. 
Something moves from underneath your face. You start to open your eyes, slow and reluctant, and when the something is gone your face lands in a warm palm. It feels safe, easy enough to settle into, but as you’re about to let yourself slip away again it strokes its thumb over your cheek. 
“Angel.” James’ voice sounds almost like he’s trying not to laugh. He thumbs your cheek again. “Angel, hey.” A pause. “She doesn’t seem to want to wake up.” 
“She’s awake,” Sirius says. You feel his hand sweep across your shoulder blades. “Come on, sweetness. This is no place to spend the night.” 
You make a disgruntled, whiny sound you’d never allow in full consciousness. Your eyes peel open. 
“There she is.” Sirius rubs your back encouragingly.
You blink blearily in the sickening fluorescent light of the library. James is squatting at face-level in front of you, his expression somewhere between fond and pitying, while Remus stands behind him with your backpack over his shoulder. You can see Sirius peering down at you in your periphery, his hand still moving over your back as though to keep you from falling back asleep. 
There doesn’t seem to be anyone else around. It must be late. 
“Oh, no,” you groan, forcing yourself up. Your neck and back crackle as you straighten, making James cringe. 
“I agree,” Sirius says smoothly. “I too would be devastated if I traded a warm and cozy bed with my loving boyfriends for a hard, cold desk. But don’t be embarrassed, there’s still time to make things right.” 
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” You press the heels of your hands into your eyes, trying to rub wakefulness into them. “I…where’s my laptop?” 
“I have it,” says Remus. 
“I need it.” 
“You’ll get it back tomorrow.” 
A slow, heavy anxiety laces your bloodstream. “But I have to finish…” 
“Dove.” Remus’ voice is stern, though not unkind. “You have to sleep first. At home.”
You blink, your brain still lagging. “But…” 
“Sweetheart, c’mere.” James takes your face in his hand, angling you towards him. He brushes his thumb over the corners of your eyes, then smiles at you. “There. Sorry, you had crusties. Ready to go?” 
“I…” 
“Let’s go, babe.” Sirius winds an arm around your waist, hauling you up with him. “It’s definitely bedtime.” 
James chuckles. “Seems like it. Poor love.” 
“What about my stuff?” 
“I’ve got it, dove,” Remus reminds you. He frowns. “When was the last time you slept?” 
You think back. “Last night.” Was it really only last night? It feels eons ago. 
“But for how long?” 
“Uh…” you wince. “I dunno, a couple hours.” 
James makes a low pitying sound, and Remus’ frown worsens. On some level, you know you’d known they would react like this. Probably, you’d even known they were right. It was why you’d been spending as little time at home as possible, catching twenty-minute power naps in library chairs and avoiding your boyfriends. 
“Sweetheart,” Remus sounds tired himself, and guilt sprouts behind your ribcage, “you can’t run yourself ragged like this. It’s not sustainable. It’s not going to help with your schoolwork, and it’s awful for you besides. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
You heave a sigh. “I guess I just like living on the edge,” you grumble sardonically. 
Sirius huffs a laugh. He slots a piece of hair behind your ear. “Hey, recklessness is my thing,” he says, kissing your temple. “You need to get your own thing.” 
“Sorry.” 
“You need to take better care of yourself,” Remus chides. “You’ve tried your way, and it’s clearly not working. Right?” 
You’re silent. Then Sirius pinches your side, and you squeak, “Right.” 
“Good girl.” Remus’ tone warms some with amusement. “So we’re going to go home, and you’re going to sleep at least eight hours. Then, after you eat and drink something, you can have your laptop back. Okay?” 
“Okay.” You want to be more reluctant, but the allure of your boyfriends’ evil scheme is too tempting to resist. You don’t have the energy to fight them on it. “Thanks for coming to get me.” 
Remus holds the door open for you all to exit the library. As you pass, he cups your cheek with a small smile. “You’re welcome, dovey.” 
“And maybe during this next round of studying, you could take a break from time to time,” James suggests lightly. “I haven’t had a proper cuddle in days.” 
“Oi!” Sirius’ chin nearly smacks the side of your head as he whips around to see James. “What would you call what we did this afternoon?” 
“Not a proper cuddle. Your elbow has probably left a permanent indent in my stomach.” 
“There are people who would pay for a souvenir like that, Jamie.”
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backinmyphase · 4 months ago
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Not fulfilling meals
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Summary: As the days go on, the Gojo estate remains cold, as you and Satoru didn't really talk to each other. Would your arranged marriage ever be bearable? Well, Gojo wants to try.
Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.
Pairing: Gojo x reader, 2980 words
Part 1 Masterlist
Author's note:
Well I guess this is my 100 followers special?? Like you guys are so sweet, how did I deserve your kind comments?? I hope you like this part too <3 (This will be a slow burn, I'm sorryyy :'), if you want to be added to the taglist, just say so it's no problem <3 your comments make my day :))
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The jujutsu world was Gojo Satoru's world.
He knew, he was the strongest. He knew, he destroyed the balance of the jujutsu world just by being born. He knew, it was expected of him to keep this power in the hands of the Gojo clan.
He knew, he should marry and get an heir. An heir, who would be even stronger than him.
But he was selfish. Wanted to live his life, without a timer that says when he should have a kid.
He wanted to have control of his life. And if that was so selfish, well then he would gladly be it.
That's what he always thought. But right now, as he didn't see you for the third day in a row, he felt guilty.
Guilty, because he didn't really dislike you. Hell, he didn't even know you. He disliked that you two had to marry. Hated, that it wasn't his choice.
The last days were colder than usual. He felt your presence in this house and that you avoided him like the plague. Everytime he sat down at the table in the living room to eat, he would hear the words you threw at him.
He should be glad. You said, you wouldn't bother him and you kept your word. You didn't even come out of your room when he was around.
So why did he hate it?
He sat at the table in the living room with his breakfast. And he waited. Waited, even though he had to do missions. Waited, even though his brain was telling him to leave.
He waited.
'SO EXCUSE ME. IF I THINK MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME AT ALL!'
His phone rang and a message from Suguru popped up.
"Where are you, Satoru?"
Satoru should stand up an leave. Should eat and leave. But his consciousness didn't want him to leave. His phone rang again. Should he leave or stay?
He waited.
'AND IF I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MYSELF SUFFER THROUGH IT!'
His empty plate looked at him. His own reflection raising an eyebrow at his behavior.
He stood up. Slowly he moved to your door. Looked at the closed door and wondererd if he should knock. Just ask you to eat with him.
'I DON'T WANT-'
He turned around and went to his missions, like he was supposed to. Like his senses told him.
~
Your room was so cold. Even when you hid under your supposedly warm covers, you started to shiver at the thought that you will always sleep here.
You were scared.
Gojo was longer and longer in the living room, every morning he made himself ready to leave. And today morning he was in front of your room.
You were so scared of the conflict with him.
Not that you felt guilty, you didn't feel sorry for what you said or anything like that. But the overwhelming fear that he would tell his clan members about the issues in your marriage would mean your doom.
Today was a meeting with your mother and the higher ups.
Your mother made clear that the meetings will be on a regularly basis in the letter. And she hoped that 'you could deliver good news'.
She meant deliver a kid.
No, your blanket didn't keep you warm. And it didn't protect you from all evil like your child self foolishly thought.
~
"You are late." As Satoru's best friend looked at him, he almost looked concerned.
"Sorry, slept in a bit." Satoru didn't look him in the eyes. "Where is the mission?"
Suguru inspected him a bit and then waved his hand. "Don't bother, I will do it today. You can rest today."
Satoru laughed a bit, but was confused when Suguru didn't laugh with him. "Wait, you mean that?"
"Yeah, Satoru." Suguru sighed. "You look like you need a break. And maybe," Suguru's voice grew a bit softer.
"You could talk to her about it, instead of working yourself dead."
Satoru scoffed as he looked to the side. "She doesn't want to see me. Like ever."
The following silence spoke loudly. And Satoru knew that it was his own fault.
But what was he supposed to do now? What did you want from him? How should he know, when you two didn't talk? How?
"Just go home Satoru."
~
"Don't raise your head to high. Just because you are married to Gojo, doesn't mean you will get the same treatment." Your mother pressed her lips together disapprovingly.
"Yes, mother."
She nodded and sighed as you waited for the other Clan members and higher ups to show up.
Your hands were shaking so you kept them hidden in your lap trying to gain the control other them again. But your anxiety grew by every second.
You weren't made for this pressure, this life. You weren't made for being the wife of the strongest.
You felt weak.
"They are here." A servant announced and your heart felt like it exploded.
"Good. Let them in." Your mother spoke calm and collected, like the power of the jujutsu society wasn't in her house. How did she become so untouchable?
As the door opened, you could feel the atmosphere becoming more sharp.
The higher ups were old. But that just made them more menacing for you. Those people were always just some force that would control your purpose, to you.
Now that force stood before you.
You looked down at your hands and you could feel their stares. Your hands were sweating madly as you began holding your breath.
You felt so small.
Gojo would keep his head up. He wouldn't fall into himself, he wouldn't care about their stares. Why couldn't you be like that?
Because you weren't born like him.
"Mrs. Gojo." The voice of an eldery woman. "How did you sleep tonight?"
What did they want from you? Why were you his wife, for God's sake? Why did you have to be a girl? Why, why, why?
"I slept well, thank you." You tried everything to keep your voice steady in front of them. Just try to not look so weak, okay?
"So can we asume an heir is on the way?"
"What?" Too surprised, you raised your head forgetting your mother's words.
And that made the stares just worse. The eyes were piercing you.
"You didn't sleep with him?" An old man looked disapprovingly at you. A man you didn't know.
He looked at your mother. "I thought we made it clear, that the heir was top priority!"
Your mother's eyes were boring into your head. "You did, and she knows that. I hope she knows her duties as his wife."
She didn't even talk to you. "I know." you looked down again. "We just didn't have the time to get to know each other-"
"What does that matter?" The eldery woman from the beginning sounded annoyed. "Knowing each other wasn't really your duty."
Your vision started to get blurry. Why?
"Well you at least talked about the honeymoon, right? Then you have time for your duties." You didn't know if your mother was trying to help you, or was trying to help the higher ups.
"No, we didn't really-"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, FOR WHAT DID YOU THEN HAVE TIME?" The man was yelling now. "WE GAVE YOU FOUR DAYS! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"
It was difficult to breathe. Your mouth was hard to open and dry. Your neck was feeling sore, because of the looking down. Your eyes were...
Why did you even show up to the meeting?
Gojo wouldn't have bowed to their will. He would stand up. But you can't.
You just can look down.
"This will be more work than we hoped." You didn't try to differentiate their voices anymore.
"You have a lot to learn about how things work here." You felt like being pushed down onto the ground.
"Mrs. Gojo."
~
Satoru was feeling sick. You were nowhere to be found and he knew nothing about anything. The Servants couldn't tell him anything either.
First he thought you just needed a bit time for yourself and went for a walk or something.
That's what he thought ten hours ago.
Before he spend the whole day with megumi and tsumiki. Before he came home at 8 pm and you were still not home.
Was this it? Did you hate him this much, you would just leave?
Maybe he really fucked up that bad.
And as he was pacing up and down in the living room, dinner still untouched on the table, he felt terrible.
He didn't feel bad, when he skipped the meetings. No, he felt bad after he saw who he was hurting.
He was an asshole.
Why did you have to remind him of that? Suguru was doing that enough already. But when you did it, it stung much more and he didn't know why.
"Mr. Gojo?"
He flinched as he heard the voice of the little girl. Another reminder of you. The servant girl who was named Hina. Which he didn't know.
"Yes?"
"The food is cold. Should we make it hot again?"
Oh. The food.
As he looked at the planned dinner he felt sorry for making her work again. And you also had to eat today.
"Wait. My wife isn't home yet, we will wait for her."
The girl blinked two times before slowly nodding. "If you wish so." With that she took the food with her to the kitchen.
Satoru didn't know what to do. You were such a mystery to him, would you really go as far as just leaving and never coming back?
He didn't know. Satoru stood there in the living room clueless. Didn't know if his wife would just run away or not. Ironic, isn't it?
Where were you? What should he do?
'SO EXCUSE ME. IF I THINK MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME AT ALL!'
He sat down. And he waited.
~
You were tired. So, so tired.
The meeting was long. Countless yelling and accusations at you. Tips for in bed and advice how to convince him to sleep with you.
You felt sick.
Sick, because they want to hear from you weekly, how your 'sex life' with Gojo is going. All these old people obsessed with making a new prodigy for their schemes.
"You are replaceable." They told you. "We can find a new wife to get an heir."
"So stop, resisting."
"Do it for your Clan."
These people weren't right in the head. They were truly sick.
And as all these faces left, normal breathing was allowed. Your heart was working overtime all these hours and you felt dizzy.
"Why are you still here? Go home and start fufilling your duties."
Your mother still sat next to you, angry and stone cold.
"I don't know him." your voice was shaking. "I can't-"
"I didn't know your father too." Her voice was sharp. "Still I had priorities. And those should be your Clan."
Her body seemed like a statue. Unshakable.
"Mother, I don't think he wants-"
"NONSENSE!"
Her sudden yelling made you flinch. She took a breath and then spoke in her unshakable voice again.
"He is a man. They always want. And one day he will just take."
She stood up. She didn't seem unshakable anymore. No, she was more unreachable, it wouldn't matter what you said.
"Your car is ready to leave." That were her last words before she left.
You were always left alone.
~
As you took the final steps to the Gojo estate, you felt tired like never before. Only now you realized that you haven't eaten since breakfast.
You hoped Hina didn't worry to much and they had something ready. You just wanted to eat and sleep.
'Maybe I won't sleep so badly tonight,' you thought as you rang the door bell. 'Since I can't even stand properly, from all the sitting. And I should get my own key, since'
The door in front of you swung open with force and blue eyes were locked in yours.
"Where-"
He stopped himself as he looked at you. There was something in his look that you couldn't put your finger on.
"Are you okay?"
His look was becoming unbearable for you, so you looked down.
"Yeah."
He just nodded and let you in. You hesitated before going in, not knowing what to do in his presence.
As you looked around, you noticed the empty dinner table. But what really caught your eye was that his plate was clean and not even touched.
"Hina," He remembered her name? You thought he would never... "We can eat now."
We?
"Or have you eaten already?"
You didn't dare look at him. What was all this about? Why was he even talking to you?
"No." you cleared your dry throat. "I haven't eaten already."
He hummed and ordered Hina and the other chefs to warm up dinner.
Hesitant, you sat down at the other side of the big table. Awkwardly you looked around, feeling out of place, because of the sudden attention.
"Why are you already home? You worked longer the last days. You weren't here before 11 pm." Finally you found your voice.
Gojo looked at you and firstly didn't say anything. Then he looked away and cleared his throat. "I... Just had no missions today. So I came home early."
"Oh."
Hina showed up like a savoir for this conversation and brought dinner.
But she brought for two persons.
"You haven't eaten already?" you looked down at your plate, trying to eat normally but your position was so stiff it wasn't easy.
"No, i-" he stopped in his sentence and looked down at his plate. "I wasn't really hungry till now."
You just nodded, while trying to eat as quiet as possible. The silence between you was palpable. The only sond was the slicing of the knives.
You tried to keep yourself steady. You really shouldn't eat too fast or he would think you were running. Which you technically were, but he didn't have to know it.
"Where," Gojo tried to sound casual. "Where were you?"
You stopped eating and thought about what you should say. He shouldn't know about the meetings. Shouldn't know that you were 'trained' to be his duties fulfilling wife.
"I visited my mother." Technically not a lie. "She wants to meet me regularly."
He nodded and continued eating. Looked like he was satisfied. He shouldn't think you were unfaithful or anything like that.
"Do you have a good relationship with her?"
Your eyes widened and you looked up to really look him in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes.
"Good enough." your voice was barely a whisper. But he nodded like he was listening carefully to everything you said.
"Should I come with you some time?" he leaned a bit back in his seat. "Or do you think she doesn't want to see me?"
As you thought about all the times your mother ranted about Gojo because of his irresponsibility, you couldn't help but chuckle. "I don't think so."
His position stiffed a bit. "Why do you think so?"
"She thinks you are careless." Your voice was growing cold. "Because the meetings you missed, Gojo."
"Oh. Yeah right." He looked down again and mumbled something incoherently.
You didn't ask what he said.
The silence between you came back as you finished your meal. And as you were finished, you stood up taking your now empty plate with you.
"I will bring that in the kitchen." You could finally turn away from him and his eyes. "Good night."
You didn't really expect an answer. But Gojo seemed to like to surprise you.
"Good night, sleep well. You look exhausted, try to rest now."
Your traitor of a heart started to pound louder, like you were in a bad romance novel. Your mind told it to shut up, while you walked out of the reach of his eyes and presence into the kitchen.
You walked to Hina and handed her your plate with a smile, while telling yourself to breathe normally.
"Thank you, dear, it tasted fantastic."
The girl smiled back at you. "Happy to hear that, Mrs. Gojo. We were also happy to see you two eating together."
"Oh well," you waved her statement away. "It won't happen again I think. Was just a coincidence."
The girl in front of you looked confused and shook her head. "No, Mr. Gojo specifically ordered to wait for you to eat dinner. His food was ready 2 hours ago."
You couldn't help but blink at her. He waited for you?
A tiny little hopeful thought slid into your head, speaking quietly but still steady.
Maybe-
~~
It was already later than usual as Satoru sat in the living room. His breakfast still untouched he fought with himself.
Your door was still closed.
No, one evening couldn't open a locked door so easily. And as he stared at your empty seat he wondered. Why was this table even that big?
He should change that.
Did you always wait for him to leave before you ate?
Weren't you hungry?
'I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MYSELF SUFFER THROUGH IT!'
His phone rang as a new message popped up. It was from Suguru.
'Are you still home, Satoru?'
He stood up. This was dumb. He was acting dumb.
He knocked at your door. "Are you coming for breakfast?"
~
Maybe Satoru wasn't all bad.
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princessbellecerise · 6 months ago
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Beacon of Hope
Summary ✩ After the war, Jacaerys finally finds his purpose for living again
Warnings ✩ Slight spoilers for Fire and Blood
Notes ✩ Hosue of the Dragon has been so depressing lately and I needed a little something to lift my spirits. I hope you guys enjoy!
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Some days he just couldn’t sleep.
It had nothing to do with his bed, as he had slept in multiple uncomfortable places during the war. But it was more so that Jacaerys was still in disbelief that this was his life now.
A year ago, the realm was at war and he was on the brink of death. After getting shot at during the Battle of the Gullet, Jacaerys suffered a major injuries that many didn’t believe he would survive. He spent his days floating in and out of consciousness, one foot in the grave until miraculously, the fever broke, Jacaerys rose again.
When he did, he learned that he was no longer a Prince. The war had ended with the death of his mother and the poisoning of the usurper, Aegon. And when he opened his eyes, he was a King.
Broken by the losses he took at war, yes. But slowly over the years, life turned.
Along with the many allies that still fought for him and his mother, Jace begin to rebuild the kingdom until it was whole again. What was once destroyed by dragon fire and blood was rebuilt, and in a few years time, King Jacaerys was able to restore what his family had destroyed.
It made the nights easier, knowing that the threat of war was gone and the realm was finally at peace, but even though his two remaining brothers were alive and the realm had settled, Jace still felt as if something was missing.
The holes that the death of his mother, his brothers, and his stepfather left never seemed to go away. And their death haunted him. For a while, the King believed that even though the realm was whole again, he never would be. The war had taken so many things—precious things—from him, that he no longer thought that hope and love was possible.
Then he met you.
When you came into his life, Jacaerys’ world had been upside down. He was alone with only his infant brothers to share his pain with, and he constantly felt like he was submerged in darkness.
But you…you were his light.
Not like dragon fire, which destroyed everything in its path, but rather the kind of light that inspired hope and growth.
With you, he learned what it meant to love again. What it meant to trust, and to have someone by his side that loved him unconditionally.
You were his greatest hope, and though many credited the maesters for keeping his broken body together, it was you that made his soul whole again. You were his missing piece, his beacon of hope, and he would never have it any other way.
So sometimes, when he couldn’t sleep, and the memories that he tried so hard to repress during the day came hunting for him at night, Jacaerys would stop and he would look upon your sleeping face and realize that everything was okay again.
Though the losses he took would never fully heal, he felt the pain ease knowing that he had you, little Aegon, little Viserys and little Luke to keep him striving towards the future.
Along with the babe that was currently in your belly, your growing family gave Jacaerys purpose. For the first time since waking up, the darkness that shrouded him faded, and it was instead replaced by hope.
Hope a better life. Hope for a better future.
A future he swore that no one would ever take from him again.
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pellucid-constellations · 5 months ago
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A small drabble dedicated to returning home from Under the Mountain and what that would look like for Azriel.
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The second you cracked an eye open, Azriel tugged you closer to his chest in an almost eerie display of sixth sense. You could tell he was still asleep by the even rate of his breath as it puffed over your shoulder, and still, he could tell the moment you woke up. 
It had been that way since you returned home from Under the Mountain. 
Subtle tells made you privy to the desperation he had felt during the decades you’d been gone. He never vocalized it, always too concerned with the horrors you’d been subjected to under Amarantha’s reign, but you could tell. 
You could tell by the way he looked at you, the soft gleam in his eyes so achingly adoring it constantly sent a pang through your chest. You could tell in how he touched you, each pass of his hands soft but determined, as if he were afraid a meaningless touch would send you away again. The way he cared for you spoke volumes—how he pressed you close when you cried over imagined pasts and fended off loud sounds even though they didn’t mean what they used to Under the Mountain. 
The first week after you’d returned you swore he was utterly devoted to you simply being able to eat an entire plate of food and keep it down. You were better at that now, more used to the rich spices back home, but you could still feel the way he intently watched as you ate. 
You weren’t sure when that vigilance would fade—when he would finally understand that you were safe and by his side once more. 
You blinked against the sunlight filtering through bedroom curtains and felt Azriel’s hands curl against your ribs. His wing twitched as it rested over you, and you subtly remembered that he never used to do that. He never slept with you so close and tight and with so much of him covering so much of you. 
After lying in his hold for several minutes, your shoulders shifted with restlessness. 
Azriel woke immediately, his heart pattering harshly against your back as he breathed in suddenly. He jolted his head up before consciousness reached him, a panic spurring him to look around the room with haste. 
This was something else you’d have to overcome together. 
“Az,” you called from beneath him. “I’m right here.”
Azriel snapped his gaze down to look upon you, confusion marring his features before unrelenting relief smoothed the lines on his face. He huffed out a breath that was meant to be a laugh before burying his face in the juncture of your neck, his heart calming as he felt you. 
“‘M sorry,” he mumbled against your skin. “I’ll get over that.” 
You smiled softly. He couldn’t see it. “It’s okay. I don’t mind reminding you.” 
Azriel slowly unraveled himself from you and turned you to rest on your back. His eyes flitted over your face in admiration, but you could see the way they lingered down the rest of your body as well—examining, ensuring, solidifying your presence. 
You brushed your fingers across his cheek and his lashes fluttered in response. 
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked. 
Did you have any dreams of her? Of that place? Of the times I wasn’t able to protect you? 
You knew those were the questions disguised beneath the veil of casual pillow talk. 
“I slept very well,” you hummed. “As did you, it seems. You were snoring in my ear.” 
“I do not snore, my love. I cannot snore, it would be an occupational hazard.” 
You rolled your eyes. “You never let me have anything.” 
Joy shone brightest in Azriel’s eyes, but the melancholy that always seemed to linger was difficult to escape. Because you knew him so well. Because you knew he was blaming himself for so much of this. 
“I would give you everything,” he stressed, shaking his head playfully. “But I will not have you spreading lies about me. I do not snore and never have.” 
You bit back a smile and pulled him down by the back of his neck, his nose pressed to yours as you replied, “Says you.” 
He laughed and then he kissed you, his hands never leaving your body, his devotion never dissipating as it streamed down the bond. 
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