#i did just finish being extremely fucking stressed and working all day every day to stay caught up

[lildoodlecat]

h

[crazylittlejester]

sky headcanons?? please?

thanks

i gotchu anon 🫡

- Remlits absolutely love him, and he adores them. They’re such little guys and he’s absolutely fallen asleep in the pumpkin patch with one or two sleeping on top of him

- See he has the sweetest little face and the biggest most innocent eyes, but there are evil little shit thoughts in there. And he gets away with it every fucking time because people who don’t know him super well look at him and see a head empty sweetheart, and are just oblivious to the boiling rage and mischievous tendencies he’s got in there. Even people who DO know him tend to not fully get on his ass for pranks because his little “🥺 i’ve done nothing wrong in my life ever” face is just so damn convincing

- Sky wakes up every goddamn day and choses peace for the safety of hyrule (kingdom). He wakes up every morning and is like “peace and love” because if he didn’t actively choose to be the kindest man on earth, people would die. Like Ganon would just give up and go home. (He’s giving Unikitty from the lego movie)

- When he gets mad, and I don’t mean “Oh they’re making fun of my ass stamina haha” slightly upset, I mean when he gets FURIOUS the people around him can literally feel it in the fucking air and it’s unnerving as hell because at first glance, Sky does not seem like anything other than just Some Guy. He looks like some Normal Dude. But he has somethin’ weird going on with him and the sheer power he holds (that is just a part of who he is) literally crackles in the air whenever he feels extreme emotions, and his most extreme emotion is usually anger (though one time he was super excited about something and he did hug Legend and Legend could’ve SWORN he got shocked, but Sky didn’t say anything about it and it could’ve just been static electricity so he brushed it off). It’s not really something you can SEE, but it’s definitely something you can feel in the ground beneath you, in the air around you, and it’s making all the hairs on your neck and arms stand up

- His pack is full of a bunch of very tiny wooden flowers he intends to give to Sun because he carves one whenever he thinks of her. He went to so many places and saw so many things, and yeah he was fighting for his life the whole time, but he had more of a chance to see the beauty of what was around him than Sun did. And while yeah she can just go see it now, he likes carving her pretty little things he sees on his journey so he can share some of that with her

- He has a LOT of anxiety surrounding like, not getting enough done or not finishing things on time. He hates sitting around doing nothing and he gets very stressed if he can’t complete something before the deadline he’s set for himself, whether it’s an important large scale thing that effects other people as well or just some little hobby he has. Hs gets very anxious when he’s late and/or feeling rushed (mostly due to always being JUST too late to catch up to Zelda and also the silent realms)

- Related to that, when he’s stressed and rushing, it’s VERY hard for him to stop and take a breath and slow down. He’s able to acknowledge that will help, but he physically can’t do it. When he’s overwhelmed and feeling that “you’re too late, you’re not fast enough” shit, he literally can’t slow down, he only goes faster. Which isn’t good at all because his mind works much quicker than he does and then he just gets frustrated with himself for being physically incapable of moving and faster, and for getting exhausted. Someone either has to make him sit down and stop (in situations where they can, like minor scale things like Sky’s hobbies, or just situations where someone’s life isn’t in danger), or they have to help him finish whatever he’s doing because otherwise he literally won’t stop

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hellooo!<3 I

So I was hoping if maybe I could get some head cannons of Bi-Han having a s/o who has ADHD, his s/o has medicine for their ADHD they just don’t take it simply out of spite. His s/o could be found being bored by like almost everything, but the second you give his s/o for example paint in a bag they will be quiet for hours on end just messing and playing with it.

Is this accurate to the adhd experience? Probably not. Did I claim it would? Nope, I didn’t guarantee anything as i don’t know how adhd actually works. So take this with an EXTREME grain of salt cuz most of the info comes from the nhs website. 🦦

Ooc Bi-Han? None of this fitting his character? Probably so but I’m too tired to even care. 🦦

Bi-Han was made well aware that you hated taking your meds and would even straight up act coy when the topic on whether or not you had taken your meds came up. So much so that he’d probably see to it that you do take your medication on time but seeing as he was Grandmaster, he’s not granted the time to monitor your medication, seeing as how you often refuse to take it out of spite. (Not babying. Never babying, your a grown ass adult.)

So he’s grown use to seeing you lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling in pure boredom, feeling every single second that painfully passed you by that even minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days to you with how fucking bored out of your mind you were. Nothing you did held your attention long enough to satisfy that part of your brain, not the games on your phone that you lost interest in second after downloading, not reading as you could barely get past the prologue never less the first chapter; not even the toys that you purposefully bought for this exact reason got couldn’t satiate your brain.

On a side note who reads prologues anyway? I know I don’t cuz I’d rather get straight into it.

You were so fucking bored that even saying that that you were bored was becoming boring in of itself. But Bi-Han knew of your one weakness; paint in a bag. An even bigger weakness of yours would be if the bag contained two or more different colours that make an entirely new colour when messed with enough.

Or even the kind where you get to choose how many colours you want to put in the bag and go fucking apeshit with it to your hearts content. For the physical changing of the colours were both equally fascinating and captivating that you could go at it for hours on end and not grown bored.

Bi-Han accommodates you however he can, changing up when needed and when you’ve grown tired of certain things that once held your interest. He knows he can be a dick sometimes but never when his beloved is in need to help them throughout the day. So when he had given the bag of paint, you were immediately zoned in moulding the colours together and spreading the paint as far into the corners as you possibly could, and all without an word passing from your lips as your brows furrowed in concentration like you were making a masterpiece.

Anyways, Bi-Han is well aware of your inability to finish a task, so naturally what you put down to pursue other tasks, he picks up and finishes for you. He’s your calm and he would never hold anything against you…unless it actively puts you in danger then that’s an entirely different thing entirely.

He’s also the person who seemingly knows where everything you put is and so whenever you ask for the whereabouts of your keys, your shoes, socks, whatever. Bi-Han would always direct you as to where they are or just keep ahold of them until you inevitably ask and you press a kiss to his cheek in gratitude.

During situations where you’re in deep stress or in need of an outlet, he’ll get you your paint in a bag to help you destress and let out any frustrations your had onto mushing the paint together forcefully. If it helps you during times of boredom then he believes that it will also help you in times of stress and discomfort.

You and Bi-Han were so different from one another that you just work well together, you honestly had no clue where you’d be without Bi-Han being the more levelheaded of the two of you in certain stimuli and being a massive help with your frequent bouts of boredom, your inability of prioritisation, and everything else your ADHD came along with.

He withheld an extreme amount of patience, probably from all the training he’s done his entire life and the lessons he’s learn from them about timing and all that. So when you interrupt him, he just lets you speak your entirety without making you feel like shit about it; but to Bi-Han if you wanted to speak, then he’ll let you speak and listen to you fully to everything you said.

Everyone wants to be listens to right?

Bi-Han would also probably act as your personal reminder, writing down or verbally telling you things that you had clearly forgotten that you were doing some days, whether that be appointments if, you have them, hangouts with friends, date plans, etc. you found it fascinating how he could remember so many dates, times, events and other things you’ve agreed to in the past as you’d naturally forget; or if ever on the off chance you do remember but just come extremely late or on the wrong day.

Bi-Han is use to lonesome and monochrome cold silences but when you entered his life, it was like he could see, taste and feel the colour of life warning his ice cold heart. He wasn’t use to it but overtime he found himself not wanting to go back to the life he lived before you, not realising how desperate for company he was until he was devoid of it.

Will he admit it to you though? No, he’s got a reputation to uphold after all but that don’t he won’t shows he cares in other ways.

Ignore if you don’t agree; Things that I’d like to think are in the same vein as paint in a bag or things that would defiantly hold me up for a good while:

Lava lamps

Liquid floor tiles

Water filled stress tube toys (especially the bigger ones that have like glitter and all sorts in them. I want one now. :( )

Pens that have the liquid stuff in them. (we all know your not buying them cuz they’re pens but for the entertainment value that the liquid gives. I should know cuz I use to have a lot of them as a kid. My go to pen for obvious reasons.)

[lxstfathier]

Cachorrita

Pt.2

A random thot for the cachorrita series <3

Warnings: gang bang, blood, manhandling, extreme filth i guess.

The vaqueros arrive at the base late at night, right after being away almost for a week doing a difficult mission in god knows where. And they’re all sweaty, covered in dirt and dried blood, still feeling the adrenaline pumping thru their veins, like wild beasts who can’t get enough of death and violence, determined to sink their teeth at anyone who dares to cross their path.

And you’re the dumb little puppy who did just that, getting out of your room to greet them as usual, wrapping your arms around Alejandro, praising him for another successful mission where no one got hurt. But, when he doesn’t hug you back, you know something’s going on.

And then you feel it. Their strange silence and hungry gaze, cornering you like a helpless prey, ready take all their stress and anger out on you.

It’s hard to decipher what they’re planning, and you don’t know if you should be excited or scared. So, before you can ask or protest, Rudy grabs you by the collar, yanking you against his chest. “Be a good girl and let us have some fun, si?” he says, effortlessly ripping your clothes with his free hand, exposing your pretty body for everyone to see.

Sure, you’ve pleased Rudy and Ale at the same time, but the whole base is something different. There’s a lot of soldiers, the best of the best in the Mexican special forces, killing machines who haven’t touched a woman in months, and one girl can’t be enough to satisfy all of them… right?.

But they don’t care. Soon you feel a lot of gloved hands groping your body, squeezing your tits, pinching your nipples, stroking your thighs and pushing their fingers between your legs, exploring your pussy until someone finds your sensitive clit, causing you to squirm and whimper.

And your cute sounds only make them more desperate. Some already have pulled their cocks out of its pants, slowly fucking their fists, enjoying the beautiful sight that your are.

That’s when Alejandro can’t resist anymore. So he tugs at you, taking you away from Rudy’s grasp, forcing you to your knees right in from of him and two other men, shoving their hard lengths to your face. “That’s it, cachorrita. Show them what that little mouth can do”.

And who are you to say no to three pretty cocks, throbbing and begging to be touched? fuck, it’s like a dream. You take Ale in your mouth, sucking him in the way you know he likes, and use both of your hands to work on the other two, even if your small hands can’t wrap fully around their thickness.

Grunts and lewd noises fill the room, intoxicating every single one of you, the passion and lust becoming almost unbearable.

Alejandro grabs your hair, keeping you still while he violently fucks your throat. Tears roll down your cheeks, gagging and choking with every thrust, but taking it all like the grateful puppy that you are. And it doesn’t take him long to finish. His cock twitches on your tongue, spilling his hot seed down your throat, relieving himself of all those days of pent up frustration.

“What a good fucking whore” that’s all you can hear, not even distinguishing who said it, before Rudy takes you off Ale and back to him.

He lifts you up easily, as if you weighed nothing, hooking his arms under your ankles, immediately burying himself inside your pussy with desperation and need. What happened to the sweet Rudy who always took his sweet time to get you ready for his big cock? you have no idea, but you kinda like this side of him, animalistic and brutal, making you cry in pleasure as you feel him go deeper than ever.

You hold on to his neck, your nails digging into his black vest, and it’s not long until you feel another man behind you, positioning his throbbing length to your little asshole, pushing in slowly. “It’s okay baby, relax. I know you can take it.” Rudy talks you through it, sensing your fear of having something there for the first time.

But once they’re both inside, stretching you open so nicely, thrusting in and out in at a fast pace, has you seeing stars and moaning like a bitch in heat.

“F-feels too good” You whimper, the knot in your tummy growing tighter with each one of their movements. “Can i cum? Please?”.

“Fuck yeah, come on, make a mess on our cocks”.

It’s all too much. The pleasure overtakes every inch of your body, whimpering and squirming as your tiny holes clench hard around their big cocks, begging for more. It drives them crazy, grunting and thrusting at a fast pace, chasing their own highs, way too drunk on sex.

You lose yourself after that first orgasm, blissed out of your mind, going limp on their strong arms. And you don’t really mind if they keep using you, you like it actually. It’s kinda fun how they use you like a doll, throwing you around from one soldier to another, making sure that everyone has their turn with you.

It’s gonna be a long night. They won’t stop until their balls are empty, and your pretty body is covered in sweat, bruises and spit, and all your holes are filled to the brim with their hot cum 💗

[fuck-customers]

https://www.tumblr.com/fuck-customers/740474153557164032/this-is-totally-a-dick-move-but-im-doing-it?source=share

I wanted to address a reply I saw on this post that I submitted. (I prefer to stay anonymous on the off-chance that someone could figure out who I am from my blog. The chance is EXTREMELY small, but if you read the original ask, you'll understand my concern)

Someone responded, saying that (I'm paraphrasing) by leaving negative reviews, I'm causing corporate to cut hours to my location even more and this is hurting me and I should instead leave fake positive reviews.

Ok I GET where you're coming from, I do, and I'm sure others have had that same thought. HOWEVER, as I said in my original post, I. WANT. THAT. STORE. TO BURN. I said in my original post that I've worked there several years (actually 4+ years more than any other employee at my particular location) and I've gotten shit on left and right. By the company, by management, and by customers and while I am looking for another job, it would make me SO happy to watch that shithole burn.

In the time I've worked there:

-My hours are always the first to be cut whenever "budget cuts" come around

-I regularly get scheduled closing shift when the other shifts CLEARLY have not done their tasks (as in I clocked in less than a minute ago and my manager can clearly see that the amount of work left could not physically be made in 1 minute) yet the manager is on my ass every few seconds to clean up after all of them and if my shift ends and I cannot finish, I get a talking to.

-I have been physically shoved by a manager and berated in front of coworkers and customers and that + the already stressful day I was having made me hide in the bathroom and cry. Then a few days later, another manager who wasn't even there that day heard about the incident (not the crying part-I hid) and made fun of me for a small mistake and said that I deserved the other manager yelling at me

-I spent my first year covering every single shift whenever asked and cross-trained myself so I could work in all departments and get more hours that way (🤡) only to be repaid by never getting promotions or raises (I did stop covering shifts after it was blatantly obvious that I would not get a raise/promotion/anything but taken advantage of)

-I worked the entire pandemic every day, almost to full-time, yet they refused to actually make me full-time, scheduling me just under (30-35 hours) so I was essentially working full-time hours without being able to get full-time benefits.

-An SM that worked there for a year apparently was threatened by me (though in no way was I after her job, I even repeatedly expressed that I had no interest in becoming management) and proceeded to fabricate an entire false story and reported it to HR as an EEOC issue in an attempt to get me fired

-Plus the multiple leads that have come and go that either treat all employees like dogshit and/or me, specifically. Talking down to me/us and snapping at me/us.

-Not to mention the disrespectful customers who see that I appear young and automatically assume I am stupid and/or incompetent, the most memorable experience being the old man who straight up asked me if I had brain damage and the (separate) old woman who straight up asked me if I was stupid and then immediately flat-out called me stupid to my face 10 seconds later.

PLUS: the store has been extremely noticeably not managed. We don't get enough hours to actually clean the store up and when I personally tried to start some cleanup projects on my own, I was actively discouraged and scolded by management. The place is a mess and actual customers have complained to me personally and other employees that I've witnessed about how shitty the store looks and how shitty the shopping experience is, so odds are, real customers are making the same reviews. I'm just filling in for those who lost their receipts.

ALSO: In the years I've worked there, I have seen several positive reviews from real customers, in fact the store used to have almost exclusively positive reviews, yet I never once saw any rewards from that. I even had customers personally go up to my manager and tell him how helpful and nice I was, blah, blah, blah and he came back and told me what the customers said and never once rewarded me and instead cut my hours when budget cuts came around.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[cowgurrrl]

I know you've written about how rockstar!joel and actress!reader experienced paparazzi but a recent video of rachel ziegler handling the paparazzi well really made me think about how actress!reader would handle them in a similar fashion. they're horrible in general and I feel like actress!reader would tell them off but in a smart, sassy sense lol.

the video of rachel, she told them "sorry??? I'm human talk to me as such" and I think that's how actress!reader would go about keeping them and even if the kids were around too. her and joel, in my mind at least, have a different way of handling them and that's how actress!reader would handle them i feel. (joel thinks his wife is a badass for that because ofc! love to see it!!!)

Oh, Joel does not fuck around when it comes to paparazzi. He has little to no patience and will do everything so their photos are unsellable. Anything from flipping off the camera to mumbling answers to TMZ to even pulling up a picture of Mickey Mouse on his phone and holding it up so paps can’t sell the photos unless they’re willing to pay Disney. It’s extremely smart.

You are a little more gracious. Everybody has to make a living. If you’re on your own, you’ll tolerate a few pictures and questions as long as they’re reasonable and won’t get you in trouble. That, of course, changes once you get pregnant. You still answer questions about work and vaguely say something about the baby being good but you don’t indulge them with details such as your due date, the sex of the baby, or possible names. You figure your good standing with the paparazzi will help you when it comes to concealing Sam and the girls. The flashes and mob scare them and your publicity team has a deal that if they do get pictures of you and the kids out that they have to blur the kids faces unless you change the order (which you won’t do until Sam is eighteen and even then you’re reluctant).

One day, when Sam and the girls are little and you’re still in your two-year time off period to be Mom, you’re going to the grocery store with your very young kid and babies. It’s stressful for any mom to have to wrangle that many small children but especially when people are surrounding you, taking pictures. You do your best to distract the kids, cover their faces, and keep yourself calm but it’s hard. “Can we have some space, please?” You ask politely as you struggle with the double stroller and wiggly babies. While you’re strapping Sophia into the stroller, you hear one of the paps say Sam’s name and ask him something. You don’t even fully hear the question but it doesn’t stop you from whipping around and pulling Sam behind you.

“Did you seriously just ask my five-year-old a question?” You snap. It’s one thing for you to get hounded by the press, but your kid? “He’s a kid. What answer are you expecting to get out of him? Do you want me to find your children and grill them about something while taking pictures of them?” The photographer starts to apologize but you don’t let him. “My kindergartener isn’t media trained or used to people shoving cameras in his face just like every other fucking kindergartner on earth. Can you, please, treat him as such and leave us alone so I can go buy diapers and bread for my family?” They back off, finally, and let you finish loading up the kids. You and Joel’s team sends cease and desist’s to all the photographers who got pictures of the kids that day and orders them destroyed. If a single picture of your children emerges on the internet that neither of you posted, a lawsuit will be sent before the end of the hour and not just one. Two.

One thing becomes very clear to the press that day: Don’t fuck with the Miller kids.

[helenapsent]

So the pre-defense was. But to be honest, the impressions are not so good. They're kind of ambiguous. It's kind of sad, but I fucking did it all. In short, my confidence in the teacher dropped to zero.

It's like. The teacher had a problem with one website. There I was reviewing the course design of an English teacher who positioned herself as "I teach English for adults". But for adults they meant people in their 20s and older. And a picture of a young woman in a jacket and corset top ( such are popular now)

And the teacher nagged, like, "it'll be like an 18+ red flag." But there's nothing past there, why isn't she looking at the other screenshots with the same girl where she's in the same jacket but with her shoulders covered?

Then she said it was like my site wasn't ready. First of all, it's fucking ready, but I only have two unfinished blocks to finish and that's it.

And then she was like, "You're going to come to my classroom and work every day" (like we agreed).

And… She made me DOWN. In terms of: she said that her confidence in me is "low" because I did not pass her at most three things: I have not passed the report on the pre-diploma practice (somehow everything is so mixed up in one that I forgot about it), the term paper on the same subject and practice on video. Then she also nagged at the designation of illustrations like: "we write figure 1,2,3- -Not the abbreviations: fig. 1.12 or fig. 1.16." For a second, they sometimes abbreviate captions in print.

In short. Unpleasant shit. I got 70% of my work done, like they said. But like I don't think it's 70. I did 95.

I just want to go to bed and cry from the stress. Why the fuck did I go to all this trouble to get nothing? Why did I stay up until 6 am and was all shattered because of panic, to then hear that the finished diploma can be passed before the holidays and that "I can not write a diploma," although I did it on the basis of the example, which threw me herself instructor? Just why???

I didn't get any approval in my direction. More precisely, it's not bad and not good, it's normal and I am happy about it. But just, it is extremely unpleasant to observe that even in spite of my dislike of her, I try to keep a good relationship with her, I'm not a conflicted person!

And she ends up acting like a stomach ulcer again, just being mean, trying to crush you, although if she is your teacher she has to help you somehow? What am I saying, though, she has her favorites and scapegoats, just like everyone else…

[tdicksupreme]

Thank you and, like, it seems more accurate to me to say the misogyny invoked against clocky "masculine" trans people is a proxy to effecting any actual influence over men. There's a reason why the ways online radfems "get back at men" are never actually men in the ways they mean, and this sleight of hand is why it works. Transmisogyny is the extreme violent far end of it, but I consider it on the same spectrum as butchphobia & the belief that butches have "male privilege" or are bringing "the oppressive masculine" into lesbian spaces.

The fear of masculinity in queer spaces is absolutely a result of how much space men take up everywhere else, AND also the "men" these people successfully target almost always are not actually men, hence why the smear campaigns are successful at all. I am more friendly with radical feminism than a lot of queer people who have been burned by it. But so many of the "men taking over my space" accusation I've witnessed among queer people are aimed at butch cis women, butch trans women, transmasculine people, nonbinary people, genderfluid people, even gay men.

My biggest problem is that over & over, every form of it I've seen relies on closing the ranks of womanhood into a neatly defined, protect-able sphere. This is always going to leave other people who experience sexism outside that boundary, vulnerable to abuse. Closing the ranks of what a Woman is has always, in every form, been I think an effective way of vaulting your social status & legitimacy as a woman above the degraded masses of people doing femininity, effeminacy, or femaleness in "bad," "regressive," and "wrong" ways.

I could yell all day about how being a nonbinary transsexual man means I experience wild amounts of sexism all the time, but no one cares. I'm "just another man taking women's space," I'm "trying to take words out of women's mouths," i'm "taking something that isn't mine," i'm "just another man who can't stand proud women taking up space." I shouldn't have to spell out why this is ridiculous. But in my opinion, closing the ranks & vaulting womanhood is how women historically build social power at all.

I think there is a degree of sexism you can experience that would make nearly anyone go "Actually, fuck it, there is a hard line between men and women, because I'm experiencing this thing and you're not." This is the point that makes people close the ranks, cis or trans, and go "Actually being female is this very specific thing and you're not it, and I am." If we don't recognize this pattern as being misdirected bigotry resulting from what the stress of sexist abuse does to people, I think we risk repeating that pattern.

And we do this when we treat the nature of this clique-ing up as being just "assholes being shitty." I think it's really important to see the behavior of transmed women, tradwife conservatives, TERFs, etc., and see how similar the patterns between them as groups of people are. These are all people who have woken up to the distinctly impossible place they're in in the world, and the fact that the only way of shoring up dignity is to cultivate a queen persona that separates you from the embarrassing masses. It's important to note that this is a pattern IMO even & especially among straight cisgender women, and that you can be considered a normative "traditional" woman in every way and still be demoted as a traitor, not a "real" woman, by someone who is very happy to play that role & reap the benefits.

I'll point to Tara Mooknee's Not Like Other Girls video as an example of this, how these trends occur, & why even a critique of sexist women inevitably turns into wildly overt casual sexism. Females by Andrea Long Chu also addresses this well in the early sections, and how radfem edgy icons like Solanas very much did think they were different from and above women, and this legacy is part of feminist action too. Unlikable Female Characters by Anna Bogutskaya is a book I'm enjoying, I'm not finished with it, it's media-focused but it's a good introduction for types of women that get most often dehumanized, and humanizing them. I liked Jia Tolentino's "The Cult of the Difficult Woman" in Trick Mirror, which also talks about how in its most overly-online forms, feminist discourse can itself become at its root a way of being allowed to judge the value of other women and dehumanize them.

Anyway, sorry for writing an entire essay in your mentions, but that inspired me and there's a lot I've been afraid to say about my experiences as a guy and a girl. No matter how nicely I describe my experience, there is just bout every type of human being telling me I'm taking something from someone, morally wrong in the implications, bad in some way, and need to shut up. You know you really hit a nerve on society when women think you're a hardcore MRA and the men think you're the most extreme commie feminazi. If I weren't still experiencing wild sexism I think I'd probably be a little more permitted to like ... speak in public at all. Lol

Transradfems accuse transandrophobia believers of also believing in concepts like AMAB supremacy, and radfems try to recruit them on that basis, but one of the things I've always found so relatable about the transandrophobia crowd is that I feel they tend to have a very keen understanding of how and why AMAB trans people are treated so badly. I've seen, on occasion, transandrophobia discussion that gets across what trans women go through much better than transmisogyny discussion that supposes transphobes see us as women in their heart of hearts and all transphobia flows from that unconscious correct gendering, which I just find completely ridiculous.

But it doesn't feel gender validating to accept that people hate you because they perceive you as a man so it's better to clasp your hands over your ears and insist no one hates any men for any reason in any context and masculinity is only ever rewarded, never mind how this attitude affects butch trans women even in trans spaces.

[cloutchaserkineme]

queen of the night blooms only for a few hours

7:14 p.m. Oct 29 2024 at my houuuuse

It is in fact crazy to me that I am so happy right now. I am going to craaaash like hell tomorrow. I just got back from a very productive work day (if not incredibly stressful considering all of the stressors), got home just in time to get an everything shower, am in my pyjamas, all perfumed up and got complimented by my new roommate for smelling extremely good. Life is great!

Unfortunately I do have a lot of things I need to finish writing but I am in the best mood to get in the groove now. I also got paid my salary today and it was bigger than I thought I'd get? LMAO I get paid according to the quota I have to meet every month and this is actually so fun for me that I get paid four times than what I expected, which means I get to eat and pay my bills instead of choosing one or the other 🥰 life is sweet and God is good and I am more than honored to do the work.

I have no updates on my family and friends as of the moment but bet I will have something on them by the end of the month because it's a busy, busy week for all of us. What I do have an update on is another star conjunct my planet.

It makes me feel good to know that there's an additional layer of my life I can categorize and classify and pin down, so that I don't have to do the puzzling work of figuring out the shape of it- only to fill it up!

So far, I have Hebe (6) on my Sun, Kalliope (22) on my Moon, Nymphe (875) on my Jupiter/chart ruler, Juno (3) on my Uranus, and now, Fixed Star Zosma (Virgo 11 deg) on my Venus! I also technically have Fomalhault (4 deg Pis) conjunct my Moon, but it is not a exact as I'd like it to be.

All in all, it is painting an incredibly Mercurial portrait of me. A small trickster archetype with flowers in her hair honey between her teeth and bright eyes. So I am trying to embody that energy right now, because I've been neglecting Mercury for quite some time.

To note- I was born during Mercury hour on a Mercury day, with my L1 being Mercury-ruled as well. My Mercury at 17 deg Leo is the custodian of my soul because it makes the tightest aspect to my 17 deg Sagittarius ASC point. Mercury rules the benefics on my angular houses (10H and 7H, to be exact), and while both those planets are in detriment, I am a day chart- and yes, both Jupiter and Venus are in their own decans, and their own terms. I am the God of this small thing, and that thing is words, and communication, and information, and poetry.

There was something like a puzzle piece fitting into a whole jigsaw when I started working. I never felt out of place. Sure I felt intimidated because the people I was around with were amazing at their work, veterans of their field, who have weathered and braved scarier conditions and beats than I have ever experienced as of this point in time, but I couldn't help, that entire year I spent In Twelfth House Hell, that I was truly and deeply honored to do the work.

That, honestly, should've been the flag. I already knew what called me. Had the blessing of hearing that fucking horn from childhood and kept on building up that particular skill every year for more than a decade- and it is now paying off in ways I couldn't even fathom when I first did it.

And yet- I keep inserting myself into law school. Or at least, at this point in time, entertaining it. Maybe it's the bullheadedness? My refusal to let my Mom down as well as the refusal to let my brain power not be challenged? Hubris as well as ego (and boy wasn't that trampled to death and smithereens last year). Perhaps a bit of self-preservation as well. This is not a profession that pays well. It will not provide me with the life and comfort I want to, in order to keep the luxuries I have.

Which means that I have to do right by it. Answer the call and speak loudly, with all the points bulleted. And I have to close this browser, so that I can go and do that, exactly.

I love life. Thank you mom and dad for surrounding me with books and pens and pencils and speech and questions and people who answered them, all my life.

(30) 7:31 p.m.

[swannkings]

.

Between age 6 and 18, my dad road raged and chased down other drivers no less than 10 times with me and my mom in the car. No amount of a me screaming or crying or my mom trying to calm him down stopped him. He would weave through traffic and speed. There were absolutely several close calls and to this day I don’t know how we didn’t wreck or get pulled over.

When I was 15, my dad was asked to pick me up after summer school because neither my mom, grandma, nor my friend’s mom could. He was the only one off work at the time. I was 5 minutes late because my friends had stopped me to talk. When I got to the car he proceeded to yell at me where everyone could hear.

When I was 19, one of our cats was dying. She had tumors all in her abdomen, and she’d already had surgery the year before to remove others. My dad insisted on taking her to four different vets to find someone who would tell him what he wanted to hear. None of them were confident she could be saved considering how advanced her cancer was. We took her home from the last vet and he started looking for another. I told him to stop, that taking her on all these vet visits was stressing her more and she should just be left to rest. He screamed at me that I didn’t care about her and wanted her to die.

When I was 21, my dad got a new phone. He asked me to help him with something on it, Facebook I think. No amount of explaining got him to understand, and eventually I left to finish doing my laundry. He has a habit of talking out loud, so when he started asking the same question I’d already tried answering for him, I ignored him to finish my task. He threw his new phone at me. It hit the wall and shattered. Then he threw the tv remote too.

In my early 20s it was common for him to complain and yell at me for not doing chores he didn’t want to do. At the time I was in college and extremely depressed, and found it difficult to really do much more than laundry, cooking, or straightening my room. Eventually I was able to find a schedule that worked with me, but it still wasn’t enough for him.

In my early to mid 20s it was common for him to raise his fist to my face in public when we disagreed.

When I finished college at 24, I couldn’t get a job. I didn’t have my license and didn’t have reliable transportation, and was naive enough to be honest about it. I started working for my aunt and uncle one or two weeks a month, house sitting, caring for their horses, and caring for my elderly grandmother. They manipulated and guilt tripped me for two years to keep me coming back.

When I finally stepped away from that work, it was partly because my dad sided with me that it was too difficult to travel so far out so frequently. A few months later I got a callback to interview for a full time retail position. I was 26 with no health insurance and that job would’ve given okay pay and benefits. The day of the interview I reminded my dad of it and he asked what it was for. I told him and he proceeded to complain and guilt me about how no one would be there to take care of the house while he and my mom were at work, and I should ask about just working part time on weekends instead. After he left I called the manager and canceled the interview, then called my mom and told her, then cried my eyes out until I had nothing left. I didn’t put in anymore applications for the next year and a half.

In 2020 I was 28. Covid fucked everything up. My dad was laid off in the summer and was unemployed for 6 months. He slept until 1 or 2 in the afternoon every day, didn’t help around the house, expected cooked meals every night, kept my mom out of the house until 9 or 10 every night, and flubbed every application and interview he did get until he went back to the same employer he had and hated, against everything my mom and I said.

For the past 4 years it’s been nonstop bickering, yelling, and lying from him. He lies about anything to do with me any time we disagree or he’s being an ass. He always makes me out to be the problem. He still confronts people in public, he’s loudly racist, he still road rages. He thinks my mom and I are conspiring against him, when in actuality we’re both letting off steam because he treats us both like shit. My mom has no one but me to vent to, and I have no one but her. He throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way, he throws and breaks things, he screams in my face. He pushes every responsibility onto me and my mom; he does nothing himself and takes all the credit.

And what’s worse is that after he blows up 15 minutes pass and he acts like nothing happened. He carries on with his day while I’m left shaking and my mom tries not to cry.

[thunderdownunder]

I THINK THIS ALL THE TIME HOLY SHIT.

I imagine for the people who say that, it was because they were really hot and popular and grew up with a ton of money and literally zero responsibilities. I also imagine a lot of them were teenagers in like, the 70s.

I was a fat, poor, awkward, WEIRD nerd with at any given point 2 jobs after school desperately trying to balance multiple AP classes because we were literally told if you didn't take all APs you weren't getting into a good college and your life was over, so even though I mix up numbers almost professionally I thought 'yeah I can do AP calculus that'll be fine' and no, no I could not.

I'm in my 30s now, some shit that rules about being an adult that profoundly sucked as a teenager:

I don't have homework. holy shit, I had so much fucking homework as a kid. Like, 8+ hours every night. EVERY. NIGHT.

If people are shitty to me, i stop talking to them and never talk to them again. None of this thing where you get bullied by 'friends' and can't do anything about it because of...something?? Idk, I let people treat me like shit. Fuck you, I am a delight.

HOLY SHIT MENTAL HEALTH STUFF! It's work, right? It's not just like, magically I turned 25 and my brain wasn't poo anymore. Therapy is an ongoing thing just like you need to shower on an ongoing basis. I found medication and a prescriber that work for me, and I don't have panic attacks anymore. I don't have horrible stomach problems from anxiety. So many weird symptoms I had as a kid that I didn't even realize were my response to extreme stress (dermatographia, absolutely zero bladder control) I now have UNDER CONTROL.

I'm still poor. I'm still fat. I'm weird. But also: I like myself. Holy SHIT as a teenager I fucking HATED myself. The constant self-doubt over whether I should or shouldn't do something because of how I'll be perceived by the world at large. I still have a little of that with work, just because the job hunt is so fucking grim jesus christ, BUT for me as a person? No, fuck you, I'm a delight. I am hilarious and super smart and incredibly kind and protective and creative and fuck you for thinking otherwise.

I have SO many hobbies I had as a kid that stress and bullying just burned out of me. Shit I did in middle school I abandoned because I was getting made fun of so much, that I am JUST NOW at 33 revisiting. DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I work from home, and I get my shit done, and my bosses praise my work and like me, and so you know what that means? I have hella free time to snuggle my dogs and I'm not trapped in a goddamn school for 10+ hours a day.

All of this is to say, it does really genuinely truly get better. Finish high school, definitely, and finish college as cheaply as you can (legit no one cares where you went or even what your grades are). And then? Fuck that shit. If you have good, caring, kind, supportive friends, keep them, and if they aren't, if they're constantly questioning and belittling you and trying to make you into a fundamentally different person? They are not your friends. Dump them. Find your people, however weird they are. I promise you, they exist. And go be the you you want to be. Be the you who little you would look at and say WOW THEY'RE SO COOL. Do that. Impress you as an eight year old. You have your entire goddamn life ahead of you to be the titan you should be.

Hey btw I don't know who needs to hear this, but those adults telling you that your teen years are the best years of your life? Yeah I don't know what the hell they're smoking, either. I'm 29 and every once in a while I just sit here and think "man, it sure sucked to be 14. Glad I never have to do that again."

[seedling-lotus]

...

despite being fully able to take a mental step back when I'm struggling and tell myself the logical answers for why, it doesn't really make any of it easier. Like... I accomplished very little this weekend. once again, i did not do my dishes. once again i did not do all of my laundry. once again i told myself i was going to do something one way and then just didn't do the thing at all. i failed to eat even though i told myself that i was going to do proper meals. I told myself i was going to stay hydrated and didn't really manage that at all. and logically i know... I know that I was in burnout to the point where my therapist had me leave work on medical leave. I know that during that leave I was not actually able to rest or recover because I couldn't go back to my old job and was stressed about finding a new one, and any time i did manage to rest at all I followed it immediately with being extremely productive for a single day and then spending a week recovering from that, and i know that when I managed to get a new job and start that new job earlier this month i was not miraculously cured from my burn out and that is a large part of why i am so tired right now, and i need to be kind to myself, but gods it's so fucking hard. I want to kick my own ass. I want to be able to just do it. and I know that that's stupid and ableist and not conducive to any sort of actual recovery but it just feels like.... I get a good thing going and then I just fuck it up again. I get a good sleep schedule that works for me and works with my job and then I throw it out and fuck everything up for weeks until I can get it back and then do it all over again. like, fuck, my new job is more physically demanding than my last one. I can do it, technically. I probably shouldn't, considering I still can barely get myself to consume 1 proper meal a day nevermind 3. I can barely bring myself to drink more than 12 oz of fluids in a given day. I know that i would be a lot more comfortable if I would just get inserts for my boots at work, but I haven't done that yet. Fuck, I drive past the fucking store on my ride home every day. It would take maybe 10 minutes to do, and yet... and yet. and that's everything. "it would take 10 minutes, and yet..." story of my fucking life.

fuck it, i'm just tired, and i'm already up way too late. i need to go to bed, but i'm trying to make myself finish my drink because i didn't really drink anything today.

[yeonjunszn]

𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 — 𝟑𝟓

pairing: nishimura riki x f!reader

summary: as the captains of the girls and boys dance teams respectively, you and nishimura riki have a mutual hatred for one another. to you, he’s cocky and self centered. to him, you’re constantly stealing his spotlight without hesitation. but when a rumor goes around that you did some… questionable things… with the captain of the lacrosse team, riki finds that maybe— just maybe— he doesn’t hate you that much after all.

⇦ thirty four. | epilogue. ⇨

masterlist

— tomorrows the day 🙁 i hope this reached ur expectations

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐢’𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰 (𝟐.𝟏𝐤)

your day started at six in the morning and you had been freaking out internally ever since.

the first issue of the day was chaeryeong and seeun both forgetting their poms at home. luckily, there was an extra pair in the studio closet and isa had brought a spare in case something like that happened. bless her heart.

the second was yuna, your vice captain of all people, was late, despite responding to your tweet like she wasn’t. huening kai from the boys team also happened to be running late and volunteered to pick her up, so that eventually worked out.

but the third and final issue was the one that had been nagging at your mind the entire day. you were going to talk to riki. (read: force him to listen to your feelings without interrupting.)

during warm ups in the studio before you boarded the bus to head to the competition venue, you went over what you were going to say at least a dozen times in your head. the whole bus ride, headphones in and everything, you couldn’t focus on anything else except how the conversation would play out. when you were given the floor to map out formations, you were thinking of what he’d say as you told ryujin and yeji where they should be by the end of hip hop.

it was a constant cycle of being both distracted by the situation and simultaneously staying concentrated on the fact that today was a big day for you and your team. there was a lot riding on you, your dancing abilities, and your leadership skills with university scouts being present.

like all performances went for you, you were nervous all the way up until you were on deck to dance. then it was smooth sailing until the next routine. by the time you performed all four, you felt extremely proud of yourself and the girls. you were completely satisfied with what you left on the floor for the scouts and the judges and didn’t have a single doubt that your team killed it in every category.

you had already finished your day when lunch rolled around, but the boys still had a couple routines left for the second half of the competition. you and your friends met up to eat together, sitting at a table with the sandwiches provided to all the competitors by the hosting dance company.

“so how do y’all feel? good?” heeseung asks, popping a potato chip into his mouth.

“better than that. i feel so content with what we did today, hee, you have no idea,” you smile, reaching across the table to take one of beomgyu’s chips (his were different from yours). “now it’s just a matter of getting my shit together for after the awards.”

“honestly, n/n, today has been such a good day, you shouldn’t be stressing about that anymore. just go with the flow. it doesn’t have to be a perfect speech, you know.” yuna says as she rests her head on your shoulder, also snatching one of gyu’s chips. he deadpans.

“what the fuck? is it ‘steal beomgyu’s food’ day or something? you’re already done assholes, i still have two routines so i need the energy.” the brunette flicks you both on the forehead. you snicker, biting into your sandwich before offering him some since he scarfed down all of his own.

“you big baby, here, you can have mine,” yeonjun rolls his eyes, shoving his bag in beomgyu’s direction. “anyways, i agree with yuna. just speak from the heart or whatever.”

“very helpful, thank you, jun.”

“while i’m usually one for thought out plans and shit, and i did help you figure out what to say, those bozos are right. you should say everything you feel without sounding like you’re reading from a script. it’ll be more sentimental that way.” soobin adds, chewing on his sandwich cheerfully. it was extremely rare when he conceded with dumb and dumber so you figured they had solid advice for once.

you hum, swallowing down the last piece of your sandwich as you dust off your hands and stand from the table. “i’m gonna go buy some patches and a shirt,” you turn to yuna. “i’ll meet y’all in the spectator stands later.”

“so for clarification purposes, you and yeonjun do your aerials, we hold a four count break and then go right?” jake asks, laying on the floor of the room that the boys’ dance team was using as their changing room. sunoo sighs, his eyes glancing at riki who was going over their next routine for the third time.

“are you gonna answer him? this is like the seventh time he’s asked.”

“not true. i only asked twice. i just want to be sure so i don’t go early and fuck it up for us.”

riki pauses the music, running a hand through his hair. “yes jake. you hold a four count break. i’ll be back, i’m gonna go to the restroom.”

the ravenette leaves the room for a bit of relief from the stampede of questions he’s been asked since they got to the school for call time this morning. as much as he was appreciative of his reinstatement, he felt a little overwhelmed. he knew his team really needed him to be a part of it, but he didn’t realize just how badly. he wonders how heeseung held onto his sanity these past couple of weeks.

riki walks into the boys’ bathroom, pacing back and forth to calm himself down a bit. in any other case, he’d run his hands under the water and wet his face, but with his performance makeup on, he couldn’t. curse the judges for always being so high up. the door swings open and he pauses, letting out a sigh of relief when he sees that it’s jungwon.

“hey, you good?” he asks, his brows furrowed slightly.

“yeah, i think so. i’m just all over the place.” riki chuckles, though he doesn’t really find anything funny.

“is this about the routines or something else?” the older boy leans against the sink in front of him.

“both, i guess. but it’s whatever. i’m not gonna worry about that today. i need to be in the present.”

jungwon purses his lips. “okay, i won’t bring it up again. i had to check what kind of headspace you were in, y’know? i wanted to make sure you weren’t shutting down yet.”

“not yet.”

you sit with the rest of the girls’ team for the remainder of the performances in the competitor spectating area. the competition was co-ed so it was divided into categories and genders. the morning and half of the afternoon was for the girls, while the second half and the evening was for the boys. it was a plus that you got to support your friends on the boys’ team.

(you also got to see riki in his element, and god was it thrilling.)

it was around eight at night when the entire thing finished and all the teams were dismissed to get ready for awards. while most people usually wore matching shirts ordered online, it was a belift tradition to dress formally, a black and white theme enforced to keep both teams looking cohesive. even the directors, coach lee and coach kim, followed the dress code.

yuna looked so stunning in her white dress, the hem longer on one side than the other, and red heels. she looked so put together, even though she was far from it. you gasp, pretending to faint. “yun, you look so good!”

“me?! look at you! there’s no way your conversation with riki isn’t going well.” she smiles, poking your side.

you smooth out your dress, giving her a thumbs up and a wide grin to hide how truly anxious you were the closer it got to going through with your plan. you couldn’t lie, you did feel like a million bucks though, the short black satin dress was practically made for you.

you walk around the room to see if any of the other girls needed help with anything until it was time to head back to the main area. jayun had you put a safety pin on a section of her skirt and sieun asked if you had an extra bobby pin, but nothing life threatening. (you’re positive you were using these little hiccups as distractions.)

coach lee comes in to get you when it’s time for awards, the team clumping together with linked arms. you meet in the middle with coach kim and the boys before finally making your way over there. heeseung, clad in a white dress shirt and slacks, peers over at you, sending you a wave and a reassuring smile to ease your nerves. ‘we got this. you got this.’ he mouths.

the directors seat you in order and you wait for the emcee to start announcing who won what. when they finally do, you drown out everything, your eyes having landed on the object of your affections. riki was wearing almost the exact same thing as heeseung, except he also had a black jacket on too. you could vaguely hear the sound of your team cheering every time the emcee said you won a category. the boys’ team’s hollering when they learned they won all of their categories too was like tv static in your ears.

the award ceremony went by in a flash, your mind hardly comprehending it at all. while everyone was packing up, both teams ‘nominated’ you and riki to receive your trophies and banners. (really this was just their plan to finally get the two of you alone.)

as you’re walking back to your changing rooms, pulling along your respective carts, you decide to just break the seal and get it over with. “congratulations.”

riki halts, turning to you as if he wasn’t sure you spoke at all. you also stop, cocking your head to the side. he nods. “congratulations to you, too. you deserve it.”

you feel your heartbeat accelerate, your palms beginning to sweat like they usually did when you got nervous. you swallow thickly. “riki—“

“i gotta get back to the room—” you cut him off this time.

“no. stop that. you never let me speak and just this once, i really need you to let me speak.” you shut your eyes, your head falling back in distress. he closes his mouth, keeping his feet planted to the ground.

“okay.”

“you made a point, last friday, when you said i never gave you the chance to explain yourself, that i just assumed the worst in you. you were right. and it pains me that you were, because i was so in love with you, why didn’t i give you the benefit of the doubt? especially when you’d done nothing previously to convince me i should do otherwise. i think i was scared that there was a possibility of rejection,” you take a deep breath. inhale. exhale. “there was a part of me that felt, even if me and you were perfect for each other, i wasn’t enough. you confessed all these big dreams you had, going pro, becoming the best dancer in all of korea— the world— and in the grand scheme of things, i seemed so insignificant in comparison. when i told you ‘you’d never be good enough to go pro’ of course i didn’t mean it. how could i? you’re nishimura riki. you’re the most talented dancer i’ve ever met and if anyone i know is going to be a professional, it’s you. i was insecure and i projected all of that onto you after the fact. i gave up.”

you pause, staring down the hallway when you feel his heavy gaze set on you. you nip the inside of your lip before continuing.

“i was insecure—“ you ignore the urge to cry, facing him directly. “i was insecure, but i’m secure now. i’m sure of myself. i’m sure of you and i’m sure of me. i’m sure of us. riki, we keep disappearing and reappearing in each other’s lives, but this time, i don’t want to leave. i want to stay right here. i’m here, fighting for you, fighting for whatever this could be, because i’m secure now, and because i’m not giving up easily ever again. i’m sure of my love for you.”

his lips are parted slightly, his eyes wide and brimming with tears. he releases the cart handle, taking one step towards you. then another. and another, until he’s standing in front of you, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks. his thumb wipes away a stray tear before he leans in, pressing his lips to your own softly. you relax in his hold, reciprocating the action with all of the emotion you can offer. he pulls away gently, resting his forehead on yours.

it looks like a scene from a movie, the halls empty and devoid of anyone else. it’s just the two of you in your own little world, two hearts beating as one. his next words were like they were ripped straight from a book.

“y/n, i want to stay right here, too.”

(CLOSED) taglist: @clar-iii @stayriki @wonieleles @certainyouthpeanut @manaswi-madhusudan @hrtattcker @lil-iva @aachillies @echantedrose @gardeniki @nomniki @itzz-me-duh @omgjwon @catecita @strwberrydinosaur @rikiflowers @lov3niki @emoworu @rosiefaeriee @katzriot @wonyoluvie @ni-sh @hstxvee @fallingforya @pisss111 @bookworm-0718 @luvibot @ashxsmoon @deezarenotmynutz

[kirishimas-cherrytree]

Hi! Could I request drabbles or hcs about Aizawa, Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks, and Shoto with sleep deprived s/o? ❤️

Sleep deprived s/o

Fluff/comfort

Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of death, insomnia, nightmares

Characters: Shouta Aizawa; Katsuki Bakugou; Touya Todoroki/ Dabi; Keigo Takami; Shoto Todoroki

Shouta Aizawa

You and Shouta were like day and night, at least when it comes to the sleep schedules of the two of you. Your boyfriend preferred to sleep every time he found the time to do so, he was a full-time hero and a teacher after all. It was different in your case, you weren’t a hero, but work has been tough on you lately. To be exact, your boss just gave you a lot of work that was supposed to be done by a co-worker of yours, but they fell ill.

So now you were sitting at your desk at home, in the middle of the night, the third night in the row. In total you got maybe 5 hours of sleep in the last days, too stressed with your work to even think about sleep. Your eyes were threatening to shut again and again and yawns were escaping you the whole day already. To be honest, Shouta did not notice at first, of course he saw that you were more tired and exhausted during daytime, but due to him being on night patrols often, he didn’t see you working until the early morning hours.

Today was different though, your boyfriend got the day off and was already in bed, he waited for you to join him, but it just didn’t happen, so he decided to get up and look after you. “Are you still working, love? I thought you finished todays work this afternoon.” He gently wrapped his arms around your shoulders while resting his chin on your head. “That was the extra load of yesterday, Shota, but you can go to bed. I will take a bit longer today”

He was silence and honestly was having none of it. He sees how exhausted you are, how desperately you needed sleep and you needed sleep. He leaned forward, saving your file and turns off your computer. Any protests from your side were ignored and he carried you to bed. Holding you in his arms until you finally fall asleep.

Katsuki Bakugou

It wasn’t easy on you that your partner was a pro-hero. Nights filled with fear and the anxious feeling of not knowing if Katsuki was safe or even alive. It made your nights sleepless. No matter how long you were laying in bed, trying to sleep, often you found yourself only sleeping the nights when Bakugou is home with or when he comes home in the morning hours. The moment you heard his him enter the apartment, his quite mumbles complaining about something and the exhausted grunts when he gets his hero costume off to slip into comfortable clothes, relaxes you immediately.

Tonight was another of those sleepless nights. Your boyfriend had to take over another hero night patrol the last nights, which leads to you being sleep deprived. You tried everything you could think of the last days to fall asleep, but nothing worked. And Bakugou got pissed off about it. Sleep, obliviously, was something very important and precious to the blonde and being the reason why you cannot fall asleep? It did not sit well with him at all.

“What are you still doing awake? It’s fucking 5 A.M. You said you would sleep early tonight.” Bakugou pulled you close as soon as he was laying bed. “You are an idiot, you know? Tomorrow we will fix your damn schedule.” A loving kiss was pressed on your forehead while you started to relax.

Touya Todoroki/ Dabi

Staying with the LOV was a nightmare. One big nightmare. It was always so extremely loud and getting some shut eye at this place was nearly impossible, at least for you. Dabi although didn’t seem to be bothered by it one bit, he had a heavy and quite peaceful sleep with you at his side. Too bad you didn’t sleep yourself.

It also didn’t seem to bother Dabi that you didn’t sleep a lot. At least in the beginning, because you being sleep deprived during the day caused a lot of affectionate and relaxing moments for him. He would just lay with you in his arms and watch a movie or play a game, while you catch up on at least some of your lost sleep.

But by now he was pissed off by it, badly pissed off. Your constant naps took away the little time he had with you, when he was not busy working. And to be honest, Dabi wasn’t the one to do much cute and caring things in your relationship. The most you would get were a rough kiss from time to time and him holding you. He just simply wasn’t one to show much affection, in any way.

When he took you out to go somewhere, it was different though. Only after you arrived, you had realized that it was one those rare moments. You were in a small, safe located flat that wasn’t decorated beautifully, but it had everything someone would need to live. “Why exactly are we here, Dabi? You didn’t drag me along on a mission did you-?” He chuckles, truly sometimes he thought you were simply ridiculous. “No, this is yours now. That way you can finally catch some proper damn sleep.” He might not always show it, but he cares for you.

Keigo Takami

Keigo knew that you were had insomnia since your teen days. You would have some good weeks were sleep was easier for you and that made him very happy, he loved when you were well rested. And since you and Keigo moved in together, sleep has been easier than ever on you. At least until a couple days ago. You weren’t exactly sure what happened or if anything even happened at all, but you didn’t sleep at all in the last 4 days.

Your boyfriend took notice of that, of course he did, he might be chaotic and all over the place at times, but he was attentive and caring. He tried subtle at first, bringing you tea in the evening hours, hiding a small bag with lavender under your pillow and even made you take hot, relaxing baths before you guys would usually go to bed. Nothing helped, you lay awake hours until the sun softly shines through your windows and a sleepy early morning would start.

It also was something that the Hero couldn’t really help you with. Insomnia does not always have a reason or a problem behind it and being with you for a few years by now, did teach him how to handle it and trying to force you to sleep was not good for either of you. So, he tried everything to at least comfort you the best way comfortable.

“Cmon Darling, if you can’t sleep, at least rest with me, okay?”, he would pull you close, wrapping his wings around your body and spoil you with loving kisses and sweet touches. Keigo know you might not sleep again this night, but he hopes you feel comfortable at least.

Shoto Todoroki

“What do you mean you don’t want to go to bed, y/n? You have to sleep.” Shoto looked at you very confused. Why would you refuse to sleep? After all sleep is important and usually you enjoy laying with him to just have some sweet time and cuddle. He wondered if he maybe did something wrong or something to upset you and that’s why you wouldn’t join him. But that didn’t match your behaviour, Shoto might not always catch on fast on things, but he saw your eyebags, the exhausted, tired look on your face and how your eyes drop shut every few seconds.

“I am not tired, love, that’s all.” He frowns at that obvious lie. You were tired, you nearly fall asleep every few seconds. But what Shoto didn’t know was that you were having horrible nightmares lately and that they kept you awake if you would even try to sleep. So, you try your best staying awake. As long as you stay awake, you won’t have any nightmares. Simple as that.

Shoto didn’t let you get away with your excuse and when he wouldn’t stop asking, you finally confessed to him. He sighed when you talk with such a frustrated and embarrassed look in your eyes, fully understanding your situation. After all, Shoto wasn’t a stranger to nightmares.

The evening you confessed to him about your nightmares, was filled with him reassuring you and staying besides you all night long. He does everything to make the time before you both sleep as light-hearted and comfortable as possible. Watching a fun moving, giving you a massage and cuddling with you.

Masterlist

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

alphabet boy II

SYNOPSIS: college AU. Armin, your brilliant tutor, invites you over to his house for some studying. Naturally, you're nervous and he seems to be giving you a reason to be.

PAIRING: SCUMBAG!Tutor Armin x FEM!Reader

WARNINGS: half edited, noncon/dubcon, fingering, non-penetrative sexual content. gaslighting, manipulating,

A/N: really need the motivation to write again and I've been slacking on my multi-parters so here's a somewhat highly anticipated one. Armin fuckers, this is for you. non-Armin fuckers, I hope this converts you

WORD COUNT: 2.0k

II. I.

“You’re not paying attention.”

You feel his voice right by the shell of your ear, and the proximity nearly makes you reel back in surprise but you manage to catch yourself.

“S-sorry” You apologize, wishing you didn’t stutter.

The thing is you’re just really out of your element. This is the first time you’ve been to Armin’s house for personal tutoring, and it was hard to focus on the material when his presence was so distracting.

It wasn’t like you were fantasizing about him or anything [well…]-you always tried to banish those thoughts as soon as it came. But still, being alone with an attractive boy with a disarming charm was causing some jitters. You felt like a shy middle schooler, on edge and jittery.

The last tutoring session in the library when he [basically] called you stupid plagued your mind. The memory of him feeling up your thighs lived in your head rent-free.

“Let’s take a break.” He sighs. Your heart drops at the noise of disappointment but you suppose it’s what you deserve.

You push your laptop lightly aside on the table, the bleak light straining your eyes, and ask for the bathroom. You just wanted to freshen up and be alone for a few seconds. The bathroom is meticulously clean, something even you knew was unexpected for a boy. You looked at yourself through the spotless mirror, scrutinizing every flaw.

You sigh, fiddling with your dress collar. Why you had tried dressing pretty for a boy so out of your league, he may as well be in Mars--you didn’t know.

When you return, there is a tall glass of lemonade waiting for you.

“Thought you might be thirsty.”

It’s a simple gesture that makes you blush so you thank him earnestly. Like the gentleman he is, he assures you it’s no problem. Not wanting to prolong the awkward silence, you compliment his apartment, “This is a really nice place. So much light and space.”

You’re babbling but he engages you regardless, and you two are mindlessly discussing the benefits of living at off-campus housing over dorming. His words are pleasant but there’s a sinking feeling within you as you notice he’s bored. Or maybe distracted was a better word.

“So, do you have a boyfriend? Or anyone you’re seeing?”

You nearly choke at the question uttered through a buttery voice.

“Oh um, not really.”

“Not really?”

You made a mental note to answer in definitives. Armin seemed the type to snuff out anything he reasoned as half-truths.

“No. I uh, don’t have a boyfriend.” And then you clarified a pin-drop later, “And I’m not seeing anyone either.”

The blond hums a playful tune that’s vaguely nostalgic.

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

You don’t understand the point of this line of incessant questioning, and can’t calm your heart rate.

“I-um, I don’t-“

Taking one look at your serious face, eyes rimmed with worry and cheeks pink, he laughs. It’s a startling sound like bell chimes.

“Relax. I just wanted to know if you had any experience.”

The sentence flies out of your mouth before you can even ponder it: “What do you mean by experience?”

It’s not his fault if he can’t hide the feral grin that crosses his mouth right at that moment. You can’t discern his expression as you’re staring at anywhere but him, so you don’t notice the uncontained excitement that glimmers in cerulean eyes.

“Let’s move to the couch. You’ll be more comfortable there.”

You think about saying that you’re fine wherever you are and didn’t really feel like changing positions, but he’s already striding towards the couch. So you start packing up the materials, before a clear voice calls out to you, “It’s okay. You don’t have to bring all that. Just bring your flashcards.”

You hoped that wouldn’t mean he’d quiz you, but that’s exactly what he meant to do.

“Law of diminishing returns.”

“Wait! I know that one!” You brightly exclaimed, “ Uhh..it gives way to the catch-up effect which means poor countries tend to grow more rapidly and they’ll one day essentially catch up with wealthier economies.”

The blond ran his hand through his hair before sighing. You could feel your heart drop. You were sure you were right. Was your answer wrong enough to cause exasperation?

“Stick with the formal definition next time. I didn’t ask for the theory based on the law.”

You pouted, and Armin couldn’t help but relish in how eagerly you sought his approval, like a puppy performing tricks to appease their master.

“You should sit closer. Can you even see the word?”

You moved closer to him, knees knocking into each other. He looks down at the completed set.

“Well, you didn’t do as bad as I expected.” Ouch. But maybe he meant it as a compliment?

“But,” the corners of his mouth curled, “I’d say you’re still struggling.” Never mind.

“T-this is a new chapter though. I don’t think we’ve even gone over it in class.”

Blue eyes narrow, and you wonder if he’s going to give the well-meaning spiel about how staying ahead was the only way to keep up. That mantra may work for someone with high ambitions and an extremely good work ethic but you were no well-oiled machine. You had other classes too!

“Why are you so defensive?”

Your eyes widen in surprise at the question, spoken so softly and casually, you almost miss the disdained lilt.

“Oh uh-“

“Listen to me. I quizzed you so I’m able to assert your skill level. And your response to my assertion is that it’s something you haven’t gone over in class yet. Do those things relate to each other at all?”

Meekly, you shift your attention to the rug.

“Answer me.”

“N-no”, you squeaked.

“And what have I always told you? The only way to keep up is to-“

“Stay ahead.” You finished, “I’m sorry, I just-“

“Did I say you could interrupt me?”

You could feel the blood rushing to your ears, unsure when the atmosphere had shifted. Your heartbeat was beating rapidly and you could feel your body go warm.

He sighed, and placed a hand over over your folded ones, squeezing your palms.

“You know I’m just looking out for you right? It almost feels like you don’t care-“

“No!” You exclaim, “I-I do.” Heat pools into your cheeks once you realize your grave mistake, “I-I’m sorry for interrupting you.”

The blond smiles radiantly and it nearly melts away all of your worries…until he opens his mouth to deliver another damning remark.

“You know, with your looks…you don’t really even have to graduate. Maybe choose an easy major and then get some rich husband to take care of you.” There’s a distinct lack of humor in his tone as if he wholeheartedly believed every word he was saying.

Your eyebrows furrow in blatant confusion, and in the back of your mind, danger signs are flashing at the back of your head. Your thighs are growing warmer. Oh no, this could not be happening right now.

“That’s what most girls’ dreams are anyways.” He inspects his spotless nails, “You chose this class because Ackerman’s attractive right? That’s why his class has such a high drop rate…silly girls join, not understanding how harsh of a grader he is.”

You open your mouth to defend yourself but the next inflammatory remark he spews almost sends you to shock, “Though I bet, if you got on your knees for him, you’d be getting an A on those finals.” He laughs as if he was saying something particularly amusing, an undercurrent of spite coloring his words, “You wouldn’t even need me as your tutor.”

There are a million things on the tip of your tongue but no voice to speak them out. You want to ask him why he’s been so weirdly invasive, what his weird hang-up with professor Ackerman was, and of course, the casual sexism was really throwing you in a loop. Still, you have no doubt Armin could beat you to a bloody pulp several times over in a verbal lashing, and your mind was too fragile to deal with this.

You’ll sign up for a new tutor or better yet no tutor. You’ll get over your social anxiety and join a study group. You’ll go to all of Professor Ackerman’s office hours. Anything had to be better than this. You’re giving yourself this pep talk in your head but there’s no denying that your legs feel warm, and the self-improvement speech is withering away in your mind as it seeks to instead process how Armin fucking Arltert is touching you right now.

He pins you against the cushions, one hand locking both of your wrists. You’re shaking but your pupils are blown out wide.

He smirks, “There’s an excellent stress reliever for studying you know.”

You limp in his hold but the cocky attitude behind his words brings you back. You thrash under him, earning an annoyed growl from the blond.

“I’ve been so fucking patient with you, you know? Planning out your study guides, sharing my notes with you, proofreading homework, going over the mock exams—don’t you think I deserve a little compensation?”

“I-I’m sorry.”

He's right. He's right. Armin actually has done so much for you. Maybe it was too easy to take for granted because of how efficient he was, and how he acted like it was nothing. But right now, nothing really was everything.

He smiles. Yeah, this is who you were. Add just a little bit of pressure and you crumble. That flash of bravery from before was nothing but a petulant outburst from a child who didn’t know any better.

Armin coos, “Isn’t it a little embarrassing to be a virgin at your age?”

With unbridled precision, while he’s still holding your lower body down with the weight of his legs, he unbuckles his belt and ties it around your strained wrists. Red fills your face, and like always, you’re struggling to find the right words to respond. To say anything at all. Most of all, you can feel a wetness building at your core.

“I know the way you look at me, you know.” He kisses the dip of your neck, slender fingers splayed from under your shirt, “I know you’re into this.”

And because he is a scientist who must have evidence to back up his hypothesis, his hands find themselves under the waistband of your floral skirt that you foolishly wore, pushing the cure pastel underwear aside. You’re writhing in his grasp but maybe not as much as you should be, but it’s not your fault your movements are sluggish right?

“You have such a funny habit of not deleting your windows and keeping your bookmarks open.”

You freeze.

“This entire time I thought you were some prudish virgin even though you dress like a whore. Someone with who I had to be gentle. But all that fucking porn you read? Nasty. Is that why you need help in this class?” He punctuates slowly, "Because you're wasting your brain for something else?"

Immediately, you remember how you left your laptop on the table. You remember how many times he used your computer to double-check the notes, and you trustingly let him, forgetting that despite deleting your tabs, the hidden windows of steamy erotica were not yet erased out of their existence. Embarrassment violently paints your body.

He doesn’t wait or care for your response as he starts a vigorous assault on your clit with his slender finger, rubbing up and down in a vicious manner. The second finger prods at your entrance, feeling a tight cavern despite the amount of slick collected. Your eyes roll back in pleasure-is this what being with someone is like?

Stop. Get a hold of yourself. Why are you so fucking horny right now? It doesn’t matter what Armin said about you or how he called you out for the fiction you’ve read, because this is real life. But Christ, it’s Armin, the boy you’ve had a crush on since the moment he explained to you what a marginal abasement curve was. Stupidly handsome Armin with a gentle voice and too-blue oceanic eyes. Stupidly handsome Armin who coerced you into being under him.

You’re so fucking warm and tight, and Armin can’t wait to sink himself inside of you, can’t wait to humiliate you further. With nimble fingers he untied the ribbons of your dress like you were a Christmas present, groping your soft mounds and marking up your collarbone with teeth and tongue. Crystalline tears roll down the side of your face. You really shouldn’t be crying when you’re this wet.

“So fucking funny how you can’t look at me in the eye when we have a conversation but you read the filthiest fucking smut I’ve ever seen.”

taglist: @candy-hime

[weirdos-am-i-right]

Fuck Traveling// Pete Davidson x reader

Request from @annalayton19

Hi! I’m a new follower and I really like your stuff! Could I request a Pete Davidson x reader (angst to fluff) where Pete is on tour or filming away from home and the reader is left behind. After like 6 months of being apart Pete starts to get tired of the long distance and basically like done with it. And then he realizes his mistake and comes home to make it up to her! I’m sorry if that’s super long! Also if this imagine doesn’t interest you, then no sweat! Thank you so much in advance 💕

A/n: This took so much less time then I thought it would. Anyway, here you go, I really hope you like it!

Warning: angst, swearing, like one cigarettes

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

Six months. Six months was an extremely long time to be away from someone you loved.

Y/n sat on the couch, a small pout on her lips. She looked at Pete—her boyfriend of a year—and frowned. “I wish I could go with you.” Pete frowns too, and sits down next to her.

“I know. I wish you were coming with me too. But hey, it’s only a couple of months, all right? I’ll be back before you know it.” He kissed her cheek.

“I just wish my contract would let me. You have no idea how annoying it is to not be able to do things because of freaking Marvel.” She groans, falling on her back with a slight ‘plop’.

“Well, because of freaking Marvel, you are one of the best actresses out there. And I know you’re going to kill it with filming. My tour isn’t even that cool. It’ll broke you to death.” He jokes, leaning back on the arm of the couch.

“Babe, you’re a comedian.”

“Oh right, I forgot.” He grabs her arm, and pulls her up into his chest. “I love you, okay?” He lifts her chin up, and kisses her. “So fucking much. We’ll face time everyday, I’ll call you every evening and wish you goodnight.”

“Okay.” She looked over a the clock, and sighed. “We have to go. Your flight is leaving soon.” He brushes hair behind her ear, bringing her eyes back to him.

“I love you. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“I love you, too.”

********

The car ride to the airport was long, and quiet. Pete was driving, he had one hand on the steering wheel, and one hand on Y/n’s leg, rubbing small circles into the center of her thigh.

She knew she was going to miss him so much, but she also knew she was going to be extremely busy with filming, so it wouldn’t be as bad.

Once they were at the gate, they tearfully hugged, and she kissed him. “All right, now get out of here. We’re not doing that rom-com turn back at the last second goodbye.” She laughed at him, tears steaming down her face a bit. He wiped one with his thumb, and kissed her again. “Love you. Now go, so I get to watch you walk away.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She turns around, and starts walking back to her car. She knew he hated leaving her too, but he was a lot better at hiding emotions then she was, that was one of the only things she learned while dating him.

She got in her car, and put her head on her steering wheel.

She groans, and leans back. Starting her car, she pulled out of the airport, and drove home.

**********

The first few months were the worst. Y/n hated going to bed alone, the left side of the bed always cold.

She was filming almost every day, and seeing her co-workers and friends always cheered her up, after all she had been working with the same people for quite some time now, so she felt comfortable around them.

The fourth month was slowly becoming easier. She got use to coming home to no one there, and making dinner for herself. She still talked to Pete every day, texting him good morning, and Goodnight, and FaceTiming him a lot during the day.

Though she knew he loved her, she felt as though he was slightly pulling away. The FaceTime calls were short, and he never texted her back right away like he use to.

“And so, we we’re almost done with the shoot, so close I could practically taste the coffee in my trailer waiting for me, and then Kevin calls cut, and he makes us do the whole scene over again! I swear, I was about to strange that man. Ugh, I can’t wait til you come home. Only two more weeks, I can’t believe we made it.” Y/n rants, talking to Pete on the phone.

“Uh huh. Cool.” He wasn’t looking at her, instead his attention was somewhere else. Y/n frowns, tilting her head a bit.

“Pete…are, are you okay?” That seemed to catch his attention, and he finally looked at the screen.

“What? I’m fine.”

“Okay…you just seem so…different lately. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but you seem like you don’t have time for me anymore. Or if you do, you don’t like talking to me.” Pete scoffs.

“Of course I don’t have time for you right now. I’m in between shows, I’m driving to one as we speak. I mean, god forbid I get a minute to myself without my agents or you calling me.” Pete snapped.

“Wha-I’m just talking to you. If you didn’t want to, you could have said something.”

“That’s bullshit you would have thrown a fucking hissy fit or something.” He rolls his eyes.

“That’s not true. I understand when people are tired, believe me I would know.”

“Would you?”

“Yes!” She had tears stinging her eyes. “Of course I do, you’re forgetting what I do for a living. I work from 6 am to whenever we finish which most of the time is in the middle of the night. I have to re-do the same scene about ten times because RDJ won’t stop making jokes in the middle of the scene!”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot about your super-star actress life.”

“Why are you being so mean to me? I was only concerned about you.”

“Mean? What are you, five? I can’t-I can’t do this anymore.” She huffs, crossing her arms.

“What do you talking about? Are you breaking up with me?”

“Wh-”

“Because then fine. If you don’t want to be with me, I don’t have to take this shit. I’ll be with someone who, oh, I don’t know is actually here.”

“Oh that’s fucking rich, you know I can’t be there, don’t even do that.” She scoffs.

“I don’t care. You want to act like a petty bitch, I have no problem doing it right back.”

“No, I think you’re just a petty bitch.” She wipes her eye, and he laughs dryly. “Oh of course you’re crying.”

“Shut up. If you don’t want to be with me, fine. Go enjoy your show, Pete.” She hung up the phone, and turned off the ringer. She plugged it into her charger, and went into the bathroom, turning the shower on.

********

Pete rubbed his eyes, and took a drag of his cigarette. He knew he shouldn’t have snapped at her, it wasn’t her fault he was cranky, and needed to take it out on someone.

“I’m a dick.” He mumbles to himself, and bangs his steering wheel.

His phone rang again, and for a good second his heart leaping out of his chest, thinking it was his girlfriend, calling him back. He checked the phone, seeing it was Colson. He answered the call.

“What’s up, man?” Pete asks.

“The shows starting soon. You almost here?” Colson questioned. Pete looked at his google maps, seeing he was supposed to be there in ten minutes.

“I’m a good ten minutes away. I’ll be there.”

“You sound weird. What the fuck did you take without me?” Colson asks, trying to lighten the mood.

“Uh…Y/n and I just broke up. I think.” The line was silent for a few seconds.

“Why the fuck would you do that, you idiot? Are you kidding me?” Colson scoffs. “Man, what the fuck?”

“Shut up, man. I can’t stand talking on the phone with her. I’m busy, she’s busy, she plays a superhero for fuck’s sake. I didn’t even expect it to last this long to be honest.”

“Man, you fucking dumbass. That girl was probably the only good thing you had going for you. Get her the fuck back.I thought you loved her.”

“I did-I do. I do love her. I’m just so stressed right now, and excuse me for not wanting to hear about fucking Kevin Feige being a shitty director.”

“Hey, fuck-shit, you ever think that maybe this is more hard on her? Acting is fucking hard, you should know that, especially for a company like Marvel.

“Man, who’s side are you on?” Pete turns into the parking lot, and grabs his phone.

“You think I’m on your side here? You’re forgetting that we were friends before I met you. I can not believe you just fucked up the best thing in your life. Fix it, man. You’re going home in a week, fucking fix it.” And with that, Colson hung up, and put his phone away.

He kicked a rock across the pavement, and cursed under his breathe.

********

The worst thing about breaking up with someone you live with, who so happens to be long-distance is that their stuff fills the apartment with an existential amount of regret.

Y/n laid on her couch, flipping through the channels of the TV. She had called off work for the next few days, not feeling up to put on a performance for anyone. She knew she would get shit for it later, but she didn’t care.

Her head perked up when there was a knock on the door. She sighed, and got up, going over to the door. She really didn’t feel like company at the moment, and was sure she was going to send away whoever it was.

When she opened the door, her breathe caught in her throat. Pete stood in the doorway, looming over her. He looked like shit. She could tell he hadn’t slept, and probably didn’t eat anything, but she knew he didn’t look much better.

“Why-why didn’t you use your key?” Y/n asks, opening the door a bit for him.

“I uh, didn’t want to barge in on you. You also probably weren’t expecting me.”

“I wasn’t. I thought you didn’t get back until next week.” She says. It took every ounce of her not to jump into his arms, and kiss his face until she was sure she kissed every part of it.

“I took off early. Can we talk? Please. I was a dick. I was such a dick. I’m sorry, I know we grew apart in the last few months, and I promised we wouldn’t but we did, and I’m so sorry for that, baby.” He grabs her hand, and she slightly pulls it back, but let’s him grab it. “Please, forgive me. I love you, so much, okay? So fucking much, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me.”

She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she looked away from him. “What you said really hurt.”

“I know. And I’ll spend every day trying to make it up to you.” She quickly wrapped her arms around him, pushing her face into his chest. He didn’t hesitate to hug her back, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Fuck traveling.”

“Fuck traveling.”

.