#there’s like 4 people into them as a ship :’)

[blocksruinedme]

Oli, fWhip and Joel went to the zoo!

Normally I don't put up Oli vods right away, in case he makes a real vod, but this was.

Six. Teen. Different. Streams.

Because it kept cutting out and he came back.

And I edited them all together.

I'm not making it public on youtube right now, but I want to share with you, dear tumblr. At MCC he was hungover, jet lagged, and had slept 4 hours in two days. Whilst sitting next to his girlfriend, he was... Oli's pretty flirtatious with boys, but he was a bit of a harlot! Including when they couldn't even hear him, I'd never heard him so on like fWhip like that before!

I haven't watched anywhere near all of the zoo stream, but right away he was saying fWhip would look cute in face paint and asking Joel if they were on a date and calling Joel his pet.

IDK!

This is just so much funnier with his girlfriend in the background. What is WITH these people (i love them so much). It wasn't this much, all this, two years ago, was it? That's when I showed up. I know I'm out there 100% encouraging it with my yt clips with ship in the title but, like. It was different???

(Also the people in the pic at the bottom are from Sense8 and i love the relationship of the three of them SO MUCH)

[transslashamputee]

BIG radqueer ask game :3

🌸 or 1: How did you find out about the Radqueer community? What made you join?

🍦 or 2: Were you ever an anti? If so, what made you change your mind?

🕯 or 3: What is your specific blankqueer label, if you have one? (and want to share it, ofc)

💭 or 4: Do you identify with/as any transIDs? Which ones?

🍑 or 5: If you identify with transIDs, what is your favorite of your transIDs?

🛼 or 6: Do you have any paras?

🌨 or 7: Are you a system? If so, how did you find out you are one?

🦋 or 8: What is your most "controversial" transID? Why do you identify that way + what do you think people should know about that identity?

💝 or 9: What transID do you want to transition to the most, if any?

🧃 or 10: What would you look like if you fully transitioned to all of your IDs?

🤍 or 11: If you had to choose, which transID would you not want to have (as in, which would you not want to identify with)?

🎈 or 12: What is your favorite flag made by someone in the rq community?

🍰 or 13: If you're trace, tell us why, or how you found out! (You can also infodump about your trace ID!)

🕊 or 14: If you're transage, tell us why, or how you found out! (You can also infodump about your transage ID!)

🍭 or 15: If you're transharm in some way, what do you think the reason for identifying as your transharm ID is?

👼🏼 or 16: If you are in fandom and/or are a shipper of any sort, what is your favorite ship? Drop some art you like of that ship!

💘 or 17: If you're plural, how do other members of your system feel about radqueers?

🩰 or 18: Who are your favorite rq tumblr users? @ them!

🎠 or 19: Do you ever get antis in your askbox? How do you respond to them?

🥛 or 20: What's your favorite thing about being part of this community?

📖 or 21: What's your least favorite thing about being part of this community?

🍪 or 22: Do you think you'll ever leave or "grow out of" this community?

🌷 or 23: Do you use any xeno-transIDs? (Like xenoabled, xenogender, xenoage, etc.) If so, list them!

🌐 or 24: Have you ever transitioned to any transIDs? How did you do it (if you want to share)?

🍓 or 25: What transIDs are a squick (personal discomfort) for you? Would you mind sharing why?

✨ or 26: Do you follow any religion (mainstream or neo/xenoreligion)?

🐇 or 27: Do you use subliminals? Do you make them? Do you see effects from your sublimal usage?

💖 or 28: If you identify with transIDs, what is your main reason?

💍or 29: If you have atypical dysphoria, is it more social, mind, or body dysphoria?

☁️ or 30: If you are a trans-mobility-aid-user, tell us about what mobility aid you want! Would you decorate it?

🔅 or 31: If you are a cis-mobility-aid-user, what do you think of folks who are trans- the mobility aid you use?

👗or 32: Do you have any contradicting identities?

💌 or 33: If you are cis- neurodivergent, mentally ill, etc, how does seeing folks who are trans- your disorder/syndrome make you feel?

🐭or 34: If you are cis-disabled, how does seeing people who are trans- your disablities make you feel?

💓 or 35: What would your ideal relationship look like?

🧴 or 36: Are you an artist (writer, digital/traditional artist, painter, musician, etc.)? Share some of your work, if you are (and if you are comfortable doing so)!

🌼 or 37: If you are severi- anything (wanting a disorder/disability to be worse or not as bad as it is), why do you identify that way?

🌷 or 38: Are you in any radqueer discord servers? Do you like them?

🧁or 39: Does your username have meaning? What does it mean? If it has no meaning, how did you choose it?

⛸ or 40: Infodump about your favorite ID- para, transID, gender, therian/otherkin... anything!

[welivetodream]

✨ My BSD hot takes/unpopular opinions ✨:

1. Identifying BSD characters as Queer, is not problematic. STOP being so Heteronormative. Gay characters are not gonna kill you.

If I see another "BuT tHe ChArAcTeRs nEvEr SaId tHeY aRe GaY" I would bomb you 💣/j

2. Skk/SSKK/Fyolai/other popular ships, exist because people like it. If you don't ship them, don't engage with their content. Not all shippers act crazy and toxic. Stop blaming everything on shippers.

3. Atsushi/Kyouka is problematic, stop justifying it with "only 4 year age gap". Kyouka is a CHILD, ship her with Kenji if you want. Atsushi, like a normal 18 year old would never look at a highschool freshman and date her. Even if they date in the future, he knew her when she was younger and they had a sibling like dynamic. Lucy is a way better love interest to Atsushi (Don't know if this is an unpopular opinion tho, but I saw some people justifying it 😐😐😐)

4. DAZAI IS NOT EVIL. HE IS FAR FROM EVIL. He is, despite being super popular and the face of BSD, the most mischaracterized and villified character. Morally grey characters exist??!!!

5. Mori is a way worse person than Dazai ever was.

6. PM members get a free pass for any heinous crime they commit by being hot or babygirl-ified (still love them tho, we do not often discuss how bad their actions have been, you can like criminals and acknowledge they are criminals in fiction. I would add DoA to this too, but it's worse with the PM)

7. Akutagawa's abuse of Kyouka shouldn't be forgotten just because Dazai abused Akutagawa.

8. Mori emotionally manipulated and abused Dazai when he was a teen. Just because it wasn't physical, doesn't mean it was nothing.

9. Atsushi is NOT a soft boy, he is way bitter, salty and sarcastic than we give him credit

10. Poe is important to Ranpo and their friendship/relationship is wholesome as hell

11. Ranpo and Yosano's friendship is way better than them being in a relationship in the future

12. FukuFuku is better than Fukumori (imo!!!!)

13. Buying real authors work after watching BSD is actually a really good thing, since more Gen z kids (or other people) will read classics

14. There are layers to Atsushi and Akutagawa relationship/rivalry, and they have the MOST important relationship (not meaning romantic, just in general) in the entire canon.

15. Kunikida and Yosano could be a power couple

16. Fyodor is not a great villain (yet)

17. Nikolai CARRIES the DoA

18. Sigma shouldn't be in the ADA, he needs a happy home, family and some time to adjust to normal life

19. Q and Elise are both underused characters and could become a great dynamic

20. Ango deserves more love, the amount of pressure and stress he deals with is INSANE

21. It's OKAY if everyone joins the fandom for Dazai or skk (I did at first too!!)

22. Higuchi is annoying as hell. I do not get her hype, I like her but not as much as most people (just personal opinion, do not flame me 😭)

23. Everyone in The Guild is forgettable or boring (except Fitzgerald, Poe and Lucy. I like Louisa, but I forget her all the time)

24. Hetero ships are just not that great/interesting in BSD to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ (except maybe AtsuLucy or rare pairs) and female characters are not best utilised, I wish they play more major roles (can't wait for Agatha to arrive!!)

25. Some fan theories/arts get the story better than "canon" stuff at times. Fanon is NOT always the worst (sometimes enjoyable when the canon gets too dark or sad)

26. Toxic ships are okay in fiction as long as they are legal. Humans like toxic things, we consume it like junk food 💅🏻

(These are all personal opinions of mine and do not matter. Feel free to disagree. But, do not hate or be toxic!!!! 😇😇😇😇)

(PS: I compiled all these because of posts I have seen in, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter and sometimes Tiktok. These aren't really abt you Tumblr folks. I meant to post this on reddit but did not have the courage or mental strength lol)

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #201

1. Hi! I've been trying to find a fic I read a few months back for my partner since they just finished s2 but I'm not having any luck. All I really remember is that they put Aziraphales memories in a ring so they can see each other without heaven being suspicious. If yall know/could find the fic I'm thinking of it would be a big help. Thanks :)) - @ur-local-metalhead-stoner

2. Hi lovelies!!! The fic I’m looking for I remember nothing about except one line said by God…I had a look through your “god ships them” tag but nothing was ringing any bells (not to say it’s not there!) The line I remember happens when Crowley (I think??) is knocked unconscious or something and God visits him in a vision or whatever and as She is sending him back to Earth she says, “see you later alligator” I feel like it’s a popular one!!! - @ominousflags

3. I've been trying to find a fic I read a while ago and cannot remember the name and I can't find it again. Crowley and aziraphale sleep together the night of the non apocalypse and aziraphale turns into a female and they don't know why until weeks later when they are on vacation and realize he is pregnant. - anon

4. I remember a fic that takes place in the past where Crowley and Aziraphale are sword fighting because Aziraphale was jealous that Crowley was talking to a lesbian who was going into a convent (sounds weird, but it worked). It may be in a series with another one where they are at a masquerade ball in France dressed as a deer and a fox?? Or maybe not. Either way, I can't find either of them now. Can you help? Thanks! - anon

5. I remember reading a fic where Crowley and Aziraphale were in a relationship and went to an event, probably a human AU or the fic involved Aziraphale's neighbors in Soho, but the fic was released before season 2. At the event, where people knew that Aziraphale was married, everyone assumed that Crowley was flirting with Aziraphale and possibly trying to steal Aziraphale away from his husband because they didn't know that Crowley was Aziraphale's husband. I'm having trouble finding this fic so I thought I'd put it out there in case anyone knows the name :) - @ok-omens

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[door-insurance]

So I played Life is Strange 2 for the first time ever

I didn’t wanna play it for a long time not cause it didn’t have Chloe or max (tbh I got sick of their asses around BtS they’re not even my faves)

By that point I was in college and had lost interest in the whole franchise but also I was very apprehensive of white creatives writing racism with no input from the group they’re portraying, they don’t usually do a good job

Sometimes they make it cartoony, sometimes they trivialize it, sometimes they romanticize it

So years later adulthood kicked my ass and I came back crawling to this franchise for some comfort, I finished True colors annnnd I finally started 2 after hesitating annnnd

^sketched this while playing

SPOILERS

I actually liked it

I liked Sean, the drawing segment he does- he was such a likable main guy, deserved better honestly.

I also liked Daniel, he was very adorable and I never got it when people called him annoying like no shit the 9 year old is gonna act like a 9 year old- just don’t be a jerk to him, I know he can be frustrating but that’s what taking care of a kid is like

And lis had always been about realistic complex characters, y’all can’t handle a traumatized nine year?

I have two younger siblings and two nieces plus I’ve been a bratty younger sibling to two older sisters

Maybe I’m just used to it?? But honestly Daniel wasn’t that bad

The racism portrayal in the first few episodes was not all that cartoony and it actually felt real at times, like I can check for American news rn and find stories similar to what you see in episodes 1-3 (minus the telekinesis)

Although the gas station racist hick spouting trump slogans was a bit on the nose, it’s more of dialogue thing

Some people thought the gas station detainment was egregious but it can happen unfortunately, especially to vulnerable people in rural areas and by someone of a higher systematic advantage

One other thing I did not like was the love interests, I thought Finn and Cassidy were alright characters on their own but why do we need romance in this game where the protagonists are always on the run?

I don’t like to compare lis 1 to 2 but when it comes to the romance the former did a better job as it spent more time establishing it, plus max stayed in the same place for the majority of the game- but you know what? Sean doesn’t have to be in a relationship right? It can be a one off thing, that’s fine

Which brings me to my next point

How old are Cassidy and Finn?

Cause Sean is still 16 and no, being on the road didn’t mentally age him- he’s not “mature” for his age

He is still a kid

So for some reason Dontnod never really specified their ages but some articles described them as teens (they look 30 to me) and they can be around 18 right? Their lives are hard stress ages you- it happens, we can with live that, it’s just a two years difference

But teens or not

why did they animate a whole knocking the boots scene???

Of all the games in the series, the only one that gets a sex scene is the one with the much younger protagonist and his ambiguously aged older looking love interest and I think it’s only with Cassidy you get to do it in the tent

Alex Chen was robbed of a on screen booty call from a beanie wearing lesbian with a sexy radio voice or a buff ass Adonis of a man who was Smokey the bear’s regional manager or something

Anyways I’m gonna move on I’m uncomfortable lmao

*im not hating on people who ship Sean with either Finn or Cassidy, I’m not even tagging your ship names- im just stating my personal preferences on my blog

One last thing I did not like about LiS 2 and it was the one thing that kept me from playing it for years

That one scene from episode 4

So at this point Sean Diaz went through the following:

-lost his father, had to abandoned his loved ones, education and home

-was accused of killing a cop

-had to take care of his little brother on his own while on the run, the same brother with telekinesis and none of them know how to control it

-was harassed, beaten then detained by a racist white man

-had to take refuge in an abandoned cabin with little resources

-the dog that they adopted at the gas station eventually gets mauled

-the one time they found solace at their grandparents house they had to leave abruptly cause the police was hot on their trail

-on their way out they can potentially witness the neighbors kid that they befriended get hit by the police car that’s chasing them

-they find shelter at a nomad campground but oh no they get involved with drug trafficking cause they barely have any other options to make money (unfortunately this happens a lot IRL this isnt egregious)

-Sean now has to deal with the trafficking, making sure that Daniel doesn’t get into any trouble with his powers while fake ass giancarlo esposito is breathing down his neck

-and guess what happens next… Daniel gets robbed into pulling a heist on temu gus fring and it goes badly, Sean can potentially lose a love interest/friend in Finn

-Sean gets hurt, Daniel goes so mad that he blows the whole place up; a shard glass flies into Sean’s eye and he ends up losing it

- Sean wakes up from a coma and learns that his brother is missing and he’s about to be taken to jail

- the one thing that consistently brought him joy during this trip was his art and because of the missing eye he can’t even do it the same anymore cause it hurts now

- Sean has to escape the hospital with a hot wired car, little money and has to drive across two states just to get to his brother

-on the way he dreams of his father, he wants him back he wants his old life back but that’s not gonna happen so he has to move forward

Im not listing all this as examples of bad story telling, a lot of these are real life experiences of homeless people. im just painting a picture of the shit that Sean had went through so far

Cause right after the dream sequence, Dontnod didn’t think all that was enough no you had to see Sean get hate crimed by two lifetime movie, sitcom special of the week racists- be made to either sing or suffer a brutal beating

It added nothing to the plot, it didn’t need a choice system either- it’s a hate crime, you’re not asking Joyce for fucking pancakes or eggs n bacon at the whales diner or hosing down Lisa the fckin plant.

This to me went straight to trauma p*rn category, it’s wheelchair Chloe all over again

I hated it then in LiS 1 and I hated now in LiS 2, this is why I don’t dick ride Dontnod that often

They always had this tendency right before the end they single out a particular character and mentally whip them, they become the writing teams punching bag- they think we didn’t get it the first time that this character is going through it, they just hammer it in with the subtlety of a heart attack and I hate it

“Yeah but it’s there to show Sean’s resolve to find Daniel-“

HE ESCAPED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND THE FEDS, HE HOT WIRED A CAR TO DRIVE ACROSS TWO STATES

He’s starving, dehydrated, suffering from chronic pain

That’s enough

Let the character breathe

You ask why not a lot of people wanna play this game and I’m gonna tell you, as much I enjoyed it myself it’s not an easy game to play- it gets brutal, especially right around the end

I’m not against bleakness or extreme conflict, I’m into that but sometimes that doesn’t translate well to any gaming format- especially a choices matter game that’s meant to be replayed

Some people have asinine reasons not to play LiS 2 like it dealing with racism and those people suck, lis had always dealt with progressive themes like calling out objectification, cyberbullying and sl*tshaming

Racism shouldn’t be the exemption

but misuse of racial trauma and not knowing when it’s appropriate to invoke it is a huge turn off and hella triggering to a lot of non white players and I remember when LiS 2 dropped I’ve seen (mostly white) lis fans at the time proclaiming that not wanting to play it meant that you were racist

Like I said there were probably racists who didn’t wanna touch the games cause of the main characters skin but there were people like me who were apprehensive of the “Let’s go to the mosh pit Shaka brah” people handling racism

This is the same studio that had Ms Grant (one of the few black characters from LiS 1) claim that the white settlers peacefully shared the stolen land with the native Americans

I find that shit harder to believe than the time traveling powers

And they were doing alright in the first episodes they covered stuff like unconscious biases slipping through, dog whistles, polite racism from the grandparents segment, police brutality, racial profiling and being targeted/othered- some of these things I went through when I visited western countries

Then they did the bullshit I feared theyd do…

I really don’t blame myself for being hyper vigilant at the time and honestly I was going through a lot then, even if I wanted to I wouldn’t have touched LiS 2 cause it’s a very heavy tasking game to play

I know I kinda made it seem like I didn’t like this game but I did, its the best one in terms of the choice system

It had more weight to it, seeing Daniel internalizing what you say to him or how you act around him was so cool

Also what the second game has over the first one aside from the choices system is the ending selection- I never liked picking the endings for max, I wanted her to pick the ending or her coding/script to do that

Its definitely more fleshed out technically even though LiS 1 has a special place in my heart it’s always gonna be no. 1- but im also glad that I got to experience the 2nd game for the first time, I liked it

Personal lis ranking

1: Lis 1

2: Lis 2

3: True colors

Discount bin: BtS

My personal fave moments from LiS 2:

- beating up the racist bully and giving him a concussion

-mushroom (rip icon)

- victorias letter

-winning that that bear from that claw machine

-gorillaz song that was not feel good inc

-Brody pointing at a fucked up looking arcadia bay yelling “that’s the past!”- that was hilarious

-Sean paying tribute to Arcadia bay in his sketchbook (this fucking kid man, he’s so sweet he deserves the world- what did he do to make DONTNOD mad at him)

- the wolf animation and the story that plays before every chapter

-this was the worst hate crime in the whole game

[asslover4]

Ultra specific Romeo Lucci headcanons no one asked for

A lot of these aren't based off of canon at all, just on vibes and intuition

- He's from Campania, specifically Naples, and lived there until he turned 17. That was when he moved to Tokyo, and a couple of years later he started at Darkwick

- One of 4 siblings, but, as the eldest man, he was always seen as the heir of the family, so his father viewed him as more of a tool/an extension of himself than his son. As a result, he isn't super close with his parents, but he's close with his nonna, who effectively raised him as best as she could (grandmother)

- Speaks both Napulitano (Campania's dialect) and Italian, but he only speaks Napulitano with his nonna. As a kid, he used to constantly get the two mixed up, which would cause his father to tell him off for not speaking "proper italian,". He still mixes them up sometimes if he goes for long periods of time without speaking one or the other

- His father had a gambling problem, which was one of the things that caused the collapse of his family. This is why he can't stand gambling. Despite this, he still runs the Sinostra casino/works as the campus drug dealer because he was always trained to take over his father's empire

- Also dislikes drugs, despite his upbringing. However, he'll have a glass of expensive red wine with his meal or the occasional cigarette

- His family isn't particularly religious, but because of the state of a lot of public schools in Italy are in a terrible state, he got sent to one of those private Catholic schools, and he absolutely despised it

- Would have been bullied for having a pretentious name (Scorpius💀) but no one even tried because they knew he came from one of the most powerful families in the city

- Still keeps in contact with his nonna by writing letters when he can, but not with the rest of his family

- She's also the main reason why he's pretty fond of his region's dishes. He has them in Japan every chance he gets and has ordered his men to recreate them several times, but they were never quite the same. His favourites include pasta alla puttanesca and pastiera

- Pansexual. Had some internalised homophobia due to spending years in a Catholic school, but he's mostly unpacked that now. A big part of that for him was exploring fashion and self care, which is part of the reason why he's so passionate about those things (he also loves looking hot, yeah). One of the reasons he initially bonded with Leo was that he felt like he understood this

- Only buys clothes from Italian luxury brands because he thinks the quality and the designs are just "superior"

- Definitely had a bidet installed in the bathroom of his private office as he "just couldn't carry on living in such a disgusting manner"

- Despite pretending to find it stupid, he's pretty invested in national football and always watches Napoli's serie a games in his private office

- One of the reasons why he hates people calling him "Romeo" is because he can't stand the butchered pronunciation, and having everyone around him willingly call him "Fico" (which is easier to pronounce and is slang for cool/hot depending on the context) kinda gives him a power trip

- Definitely does the wealthy immigrant thing of having products you can't find in Japan shipped from Italy. This is mostly with things like wine and tailor made clothes/jewellery, but occasionally with local foods to

[quakerjoe]

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Well, because that's the way they built them in England, and English engineers designed the first US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the wagon tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

So, why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that same wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break more often on some of the old, long distance roads in England . You see, that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And what about the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match or run the risk of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right.

Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.) Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah . The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature, of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

Better Off - Bernard DeMarco x OFC - Chapter 12

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

AO3

Summary: Susie returns to Thorpe Abbotts following the loss of DeMarco

Warnings: more angst :)

Word Count: 2.6k

Tags: @xxluckystrike @latibvles @footprintsinthesxnd @mads-weasley @joyfulbookreviewmarvelspy @justheretoreadthxxs @blakelysco-pilot

Thorpe Abbotts was quieter than Susie remembered it when she finally returned - her two-week-long disappearance drawing to a close - Meatball's leash around her wrist, a suitcase swinging back and forth in her other hand. When she'd arrived on Beatrice's doorstep, she'd had scarcely more than the clothes on her back, but in her sister's eyes, she would've been remiss to let her leave without at least a new pair of shoes to replace the worn out old boots on her feet.

The crunch of gravel split the evening quiet as she headed down the road towards her hut, each breath practised and purposeful. Susie could already imagine her bunkmates' sympathetic frowns, and they made her want to vomit. She had endured enough of that from her family - those knowing stares, imagining how she must have felt the moment they'd pulled her sister's battered corpse from the rubble - she didn't need that from these people too, these people who knew her less and could only speculate more.

Meatball's nose knocked against her leg as she fumbled for her key, prying open the front door and trying her best not to drop anything. Her efforts were rendered futile, however, as Maeve crashed into her the moment Susie stepped inside, sending her stumbling back a step in surprise.

"Oh my god," She huffed, throwing her arms around her. "Don't scare me like that again!"

"Who are you, my Ma?" Susie almost chuckled, awkwardly bending to put down her bag so that she could hug Maeve in return.

"For a while, she thought you'd been kidnapped," Charlotte shrugged as she crossed the room to join them. Seizing the hand on Maeve's back, she gave it a reassuring squeeze. It was the only acknowledgement of her reality that Susie could stomach.

"And you did nothing?" She teased half-heartedly, peeling herself away from the embrace. "Remind me to never come to you two in an emergency."

Maeve chuckled at this, and opened her mouth to speak. But her words fell on deaf ears as Susie's gaze locked upon her bunk - the sheets clean and freshly changed, a big metal box sitting at the foot of the mattress.

"... What's that?" She asked slowly, cutting off whatever had been said.

But she knew what it was, really. She'd seen a footlocker before.

Charlotte stared at the box with a saddened frown. "It's his."

Susie's brow furrowed. "They're supposed to ship it to his parents."

"He asked them to give it to you."

That was something far heavier - far more real - than she'd expected from him. But perhaps this had always been who DeMarco was. Susie had certainly gotten used to avoiding the truth of him to spare herself from something as wretched as feelings. If only she'd been any good at it.

They took the leash from her without a word, and she tossed her suitcase aside as she reached the bed, staring down at the box, the initials 'B. A. DEMARCO' stamped upon the lid in thick, black letters. To look inside meant more than simply opening the thing. It meant accepting the importance he had imbued upon her by leaving it to her, this token of his identity.

Susie wasn't sure how long she simply stared at it, listening to the thump of her heartbeat as it drummed in her ears - but when she looked up, the room was empty.

The hinges squeaked as she flipped open the lid, swallowing hard at the collection of belongings stuffed inside, scattered in an organised state of chaos that immediately struck her as so quintessentially him.

Tucked neatly amongst the letters and photographs was a folded sweater, and atop the scratchy wool lay an envelope. Susie didn't know his handwriting well, but there was no doubt that this was it, for across the paper were scribbled the words 'To be read by Susie Lamb'.

Her hand trembled as she reached for it, tearing clumsily at the flap until the envelope was practically ripped in two. She'd never seen her name written in his hand before, but the moment she read it, it was as if she could hear his voice echoing through her head, as if he were sitting right beside her.

Hiya Suze

If you're reading this, that means I've gone down - which is unfortunate, to say the least. Hopefully I'm alive in some stinking Nazi prison camp somewhere, but even that's a pretty sad thing to be hoping for.

Either way, if I know you I know you're probably thinking that I'm a goddamn idiot right now for giving you this box instead of shipping it back to my folks. Which is suppose is fair, but I've decided there's some stuff I wanna get off my chest first, and I don't need my Ma reading all this.

I love you, Suze. I don't know if I'll have told you that by the time you end up reading this, but I hope I have. I also don't know if you'll feel the same - you're like if a brick wall had pretty hair or something, so I'm not even gonna try to guess what's going on there. If you don't, feel free to burn this, and I've left my folks' address in here somewhere so you don't have to keep all my shit. But please do me a favour and at least finish reading this thing first.

I think you're the best person I know. I literally can't think of a single other person that I'd trade over being with you. I know that you think deep down you don't really deserve to have people who care about you - I know you feel especially bad about how much I care about you, cuz you're kinda mean to me, but you should know that I never take any of that stuff personal. You're mad about a lotta stuff, but if I ever helped make you feel better, even once, then I think this whole thing has been worth it, really.

You told me once that you're not very pretty, and I swear it's the closest I've ever been to having a full-on goddamn stroke. When I saw you at Charlotte's wedding today I could barely look at anything else - I don't think I heard even a quarter of what that priest was saying. I think you think there's something ugly or broken in you, but Susie I need you to know that I'd happily spend the rest of my life proving to you that that ain't true. Even when you're grumpy or mean or you tell me to shut up (which you do all the time, and I think you're mostly just deflecting) you're never gonna be able to stop me from wanting to be here with you.

There's a chance we'll see each other again after you read this. If this whole thing is coming off as stupid then do me a solid and pretend you never read it. It's very late and I've had a lot to drink tonight. And I don't think I'm very good at being charming even when I'm sober.

I have no idea what's gonna happen to me, but I think a part of me feels okay because I know that no matter what happens up there, you're gonna be safe down here. And you're gonna be okay. I know you hate that you'll never be the same as you used to be, but you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I've only ever met this version of Susie, and I don't think I've ever loved someone better.

I'm yours, Suze, whether you like it or not (although I know you'll tell me to fuck off if you don't, and I promise I'll listen). I don't know how to close this out with anything except that.

I'll see you tomorrow, but I hope future me gets to see you soon too.

Benny.

A teardrop landed upon the end of his signature, the curl of the 'y' blotted beneath the saltwater. Susie hadn't even realised she was crying.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw something, break something, because how dare he leave her like this? How dare he make himself so essential to her - give her a place of sanctuary only to tear it away again? Her mind was reeling, stumbling to catch up with everything he'd written, to fully comprehend that someone out there had written these words down and truly, earnestly meant them.

It was hard for Susie Lamb to believe that a man like Bernard DeMarco could love her. But he always made it sound so easy.

'When I saw you at Charlotte's wedding today...'

That had been the night? That day of all days had been the one - the one that clicked something for Benny, that made writing this letter seem all at once of utmost importance. The night she had been judged 'not the marrying type' - too abrasive, too cold to ever be loved and give love the way Charlotte could.

But he'd seen it. He'd known her better than the rest of them, and to him, she was worthy.

Susie never could've written something like this. The admission made her stomach hurt.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Crickets chirped noisily in the grass as a cool afternoon breeze brushed through her hair, sending shivers down her neck. Holding her cigarette to her lips, Susie took a long, deep breath, reaching a hand into the paper bag in her lap. The fields appeared so much larger when she was alone.

"Hey," Charlotte's voice echoed from behind her, clutching her own lunch as she clambered down the grassy slope to meet her. "Mind if I sit?"

"Yeah, sure," She nodded, mouth full as she took a bite of her sandwich.

Charlotte grunted faintly as she crouched down to sit beside her, wedding ring catching the light even beneath the gloomy layer of clouds that hung above them. Susie didn't look at her - just buried her cigarette in the wet dirt, extinguishing it as she sniffed loudly.

"You'll be okay," Charlotte stated after a while. She could feel her stare.

"Not something I've been known to deal with very well."

A pause. "... You mean your sister?"

Now Susie turned, eyes wide and watery. "What d'you know about that?"

Charlotte shrugged. "I know something happened to her. I assumed she died. We've all seen the photo you keep in your truck."

"That's none of your fucking business," She spat before she could think better of it, regretting the words as soon as they left her. Charlotte was unphased.

"You're allowed to make it my business. You don't have to do all of this shit on your own, Susie."

Her teeth dug into her bottom lip, tasting the metallic tang of blood as the skin split.

"We've been working together for over two years, it wouldn't kill you to let me in some time. Like you did with him."

"Don't," Susie squeaked, little more than a whisper. "I don't wanna talk about him."

"You should. It'll feel like shit until you do."

"It'll feel like shit anyway. Talking about it just reminds me of all the stuff I should've said to him."

"... Like what?"

"Like I loved him," She sniffed again, wiping her eye with the ball of her palm before the tears that were forming could fall. A half-eaten sandwich was clutched in her hand, but she found she'd lost her appetite.

Charlotte let out a huff of almost-laughter. "Oh, he knew that."

Susie's brow furrowed, the weight of her frown twisting her entire face. "I don't think so. I was bitchy and stubborn, and-"

"Susie." Her voice was soft yet firm, and it shut her up immediately. "He knew that. Everyone knew that."

Her vision had blurred through the tears, an involuntary gasp of laughter escaping her. "You think?"

"You two weren't as subtle as you thought you were, m'love," Charlotte grinned. At this, Susie began to laugh - chuckles coming soft at first, before they began to shake her shoulders, expression contorted beneath the weight of her smile. But somewhere along the way the tears had slipped in too, guffaws slowly giving way to sobs, and before she knew it she was crying against Charlotte's shoulder, tugged closer in a sideways embrace.

"You're gonna be okay, Susie."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was an unusually cold day, even for November, the stink of oil still thick in the air from where the mechanics had burnt it away the night before, tyre tracks cutting through the wet sheen left by the rain across the tarmac. Susie reached for the flask of tea in the passenger seat, taking a long sip as she let the warmth soothe her throat, filling her up from within. Letting out a breath, the air fogged in front of her face, condensation steaming up the windscreen.

"Heya," Maeve chirped as she stepped up to the window, fingerless gloved leaving her fingertips cold and pink as they drummed against the metal, a scarf wrapped tightly around her neck.

"'Ello," Susie greeted in return, passing her the flask without ever having to ask. "Y'alright?"

"Yeah. Bevan says we're gonna need to get a new .50 caliber in for the Riveters, though."

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

Susie sighed, scrounging around in the glovebox for a moment until she found her notebook. "Might take a while. I'll probably have to make a special trip for it."

"I'll come," Maeve shrugged, the suggestion giving her pause. The girl had occupied Susie's passenger seat countless times, but it still felt like his.

"Alright, sure. Thanks for letting me know."

Flashing a smile, Maeve began to walk away, almost skidding on her heel as she did a double take, reappearing at the window fast enough to startle. "Oh! By the way-"

"Jesus Christ."

"- Post came in this morning when you were out. Left yours on your bed."

"Fab. Thanks," Susie nodded, engine roaring as she stirred it awake, the truck shuddering beneath her as she pulled away.

Maeve hadn't been wrong - as Susie returned to their hut a few hours later, a pair of letters were sitting upon her pillow, unopened and untouched, waiting for her to receive them. She gnawed absent-mindedly at the inside of her cheek, tired from a day's work and barely paying attention as she scanned the addresses etched upon the envelopes.

The first came from one of her sisters - Sally or Nancy, although she could never quite tell their handwriting apart, nor could she remember their addresses without checking. Sucking her teeth, she tossed it onto the nightstand, a wordless reminder to read it later before she went to bed.

The second gave her pause.

The envelope was far more battered than the first, corners dulled, ink smudged in places. For a moment she'd suspected one of her brothers - perhaps Ronnie's musings from whichever French town he was currently billeting in. But she knew his writing, and this wasn't it.

Nevertheless, it was certainly familiar...

Brow furrowed, Susie let her curiosity seize her, clumsily tearing at the envelope until the folded scrap of paper came free, unfurling in her palm.

Hiya Suze

The opening line hit like a punch to the gut, knocking the air from her lungs until she couldn't breathe, until she felt ready to keel over and vomit across the polished floor.

She wasted no time with the letter's contents - they could wait for now - her eyes scanning immediately to the end of the page. A choked sob tore free from her throat.

All my love,

Benny

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[bizarrelittlemew]

calling it right now that season 3 starts like this

[spoiledskullz]

Messy ref of Whimsy's younger designs so I could add them to art fight LOL

[infiniteentertainment]

So we saw Tammy Thompson sing the national anthem in the first episode of s4...

Which prompted Robin and Steve to give each other looks because they remembered Robin's coming out moment in the bathroom, where they made fun of Tammy's singing...

Vickie overheard them joking, and Robin took the opportunity to talk to her, saying that she "used to think that Tammy sounded good because I had this massive crush—um, we took a massively hard class together. We were in Mrs. Click's class together," reminding the audience of Robin's explanation that, in the class, she wanted Tammy to look at her, while Tammy only looked at Steve.

So episodes later, in the boat out on Lovers Lake, where Robin looked at Nancy looking at Steve? Yeah. This was a direct callback.

And it's interesting that even though Robin's crush was specifically mentioned when talking to Vickie, it's this scene with Nancy that we see what Robin referenced in action.

But the question is: why do any of this?

Even though Robin said Vickie is the girl of her dreams, we saw Vickie for approximately 3 min of s4, and it's within the last 20 min of the final episode that they had their first actual on-screen conversation. Meanwhile, Robin had been glued to Nancy's side all season. The writers are smart, they could've inserted Vickie into the main group at any point, to give her and Robin a chance to bond, and to develop their relationship. It's been done before with other characters. If anything, it seems like the last thing the writers would want is to give clear preferential treatment to Robin's dynamic with a character who's (supposedly) not meant to be a love interest for her (especially in the season where the actual love interest is first introduced, and the audience has been mentally prepped for Robin to have romantic interactions). I'm not saying Robin can't have platonic female friends, I'm just pointing out interesting writing choices, and the usage of show vs tell.

[embarrassinglastwords]

forever thinking about the way they’re literally obsessed with each other

stopping myself cause i could just keep adding to this

[imviotrash]

General consensus I have seen in this fandom.

[daisy-daze17]

Recently saw a post that said "People only like to ship Sunflower before the incident or after the good ending when they've had extensive therapy and that means it's toxic!!" Listen personally I don't ship Sunflower but like? Shut up?

Obviously they BOTH need a lot of therapy and healing before they can do something like start a relationship or even heal from the incident in general. You think Sunny's just gonna drop the bombshell that he killed Mari and helped hang her and immediately go back to dating Kel or Aubrey? In fact, I think all 5 of them need therapy because Kel, Aubrey and Hero now have to heal and accept the truth if they ever want to forgive Sunny and Basil.

So yeah if you say that people who acknowledge when others need therapy before getting into a relationship are toxic then you're stupid af.

And as for the pre incident shipping-- yeah, based on how Sunny views him in headspace its fair to say there might have been a crush when they were younger, but of course everyone dismisses that because Aubrey is a girl and so main character must be shipped with said girl.

If you're saying Suntan or Sunburn is perfectly healthy right after The Truth but that Sunflower is toxic and unrealistic, I think you just hate Basil. Because in that case there's no way any of Sunny or Basil's ships are good relationships considering Kel and Aubrey have been lied to for 4 years about the death of a girl they loved and cared about.

[98chao]

truly i love all of you and i'm so grateful for all the support i get on my vanilla milkshake posts here because i've just seen the way people talk about vanilla milkshake and mysticao on twitter and its genuinely taken 50 years off my life. now i've been reminded as to why i should never join the crk fandom on twitter