#columbo

[maythevoidnotscreamback]

This post tickled me pink. I love it.

I had a dream about Columbo at a drag show. This is what came from it.

[columboscreens]

[ckret2]

It must be hard for Mrs. Columbo to be a fan of anything. Any time she's into a writer, a movie star, a TV show, her husband comes home and goes "You'll never guess who I met today at work!" and a couple of days later goes "You'll never guess who the murderer was."

[detectivejay]

Time for a new poll! I'm curious to see the spread of answers on this one (and hear any other series not on the list.) Tried to go for a range of older and newer series on here, more on the older end of the spectrum, but I can't cover everything with the limited poll options here, so I hope you'll share your answers! :)

Please reblog for a larger sample size, thank you!

[rokonrrc2]

Learn More

(link to original)

[prokopetz]

Frankly, the weirdest thing about Columbo from the perspective of modern network television isn't the narrative structure – it's the episode length. I'm checking Wikipedia right now to make sure I'm remembering this correctly, and apparently episodes of Columbo range from 73 to 98 minutes in length. Like, the shortest episodes of Columbo are on par with the longest episodes of Game of Thrones. The minimum length to be classified as a "feature film" is 80 minutes, so 50% of the episodes are technically movies. Including commercial breaks for broadcast television, this show would have originally aired in a two-hour timeslot. When folks remark on how weird it is that Columbo himself often doesn't even show up until the second act, you need to understand that what we're talking about is a show where the title character is often first strolling on screen thirty-five minutes in.

[theboost]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[jeppiner]

This is absolutely awesome!

Tintin Meets The Detectives

Art by Adam Murphy

[partlysmith]

"Funny you should say that, Mr. Frog, but those coffee grounds we found at the murder... Well, they were Wilkins Coffee. Now see, the thing that bothers me, is that the victim... Well, he didn't drink Wilkins."

[pied-piper-pluto]

"All this digital art stuff, you know, it goes way over my head. But my wife, y'see, she has this cousin Lou. Now Lou's a real smart cookie, knows everything from Blender to Clip Studio, but the one thing they won't touch is AI. Says it wastes a whole lot of electricity for something that only looks good at a glance.

See, a computer, it can't think through things like a human can. You or I, when we look at a drawing of an apple, we can compare it to real apples we've seen. If you show us a drawing of some orange thing with spikes coming out every which way, well, we can tell you that sure doesn't look like an apple.

But a computer? All a computer can do is look at pictures of apples. And if you give that computer enough pictures of apples that are a little bit orange, or a little bit bumpy, well. It might just decide that spiky orange thing is an apple too. It takes a whole lot of pictures of apples to get the computer mostly good at guessing when things are apples or not.

Now, that's bad enough when you just want your computer to tell you what it sees. When you want a computer to make an image, though, that's where Lou says you really run into trouble. You put a piece of paper in front of me, give me a pencil, and tell me to draw an apple, it won't win any awards. But it'll be a new drawing. Nobody's ever drawn that exact same drawing the exact same way before.

But if you take your computer that's gotten pretty good at guessing when things are apples, and you tell it "okay, draw me an apple", it can't make a completely new drawing of an apple. Instead, it'll take the pictures you've given it and mash 'em together. Maybe, at the end, you won't be able to tell which pictures it used, but if you ask it for enough drawings of apples, you'll start seeing patterns...

I'm sorry, I'll get out of your hair. I know you have to get back to your painting.

Just one more thing... how many fingers does that man in the corner have?"

[theindefinitearticle]

cigar intact. what a man.

[mythawolf]

"Get on with it!"

"Oh, I'm sorry every- Oh, sorry Miss Marple. I interrupted-"

"GET ON WITH IT!"

Me and @winterpower98 were fooling around when we had the idea for the best mystery crossover ever;

Benoit Blanc, Spirou, Hercule Poirot, Tintin, Jane Marple, Detective Columbo, Sherlock Holmes are all coincidentally in the same place to solve a crime comitted by Lupin III

What follows is comedic schenanigans as all the detectives try to outsmart each other and the criminal while Lupin tries to outsmart them, featuring

Holmes doing cocaine without even trying to hide it

Spirou and Tintin being way to energetic for the older detectives to deal with

Blanc and Poirot both being mad at Lupin for being dumb

And Columbo and Marple having a delightful conversation about unrelated topics

In the end, all the detectives figure out that Lupin did it, but all dismiss him as a red herring because there is no way this moron comitted such an ingenius crime

Except for Columbo and Marple, who by the end go “Oh and another thing” at once before having a short discussion where they both insist that the other should be allowed to do the summation

[breezybeej]

[columboscreens]

[smittenskitten]

babygirl