#columbo

[driveintheaterofthemind]

Peter Falk / Columbo

Art by Peter Falk

[bedheaded-league]

There are so many theories about Columbo’s wife not being real (she’s a complete fabrication, she’s secretly his boyfriend, he’s actually talking about a very opinionated cat, etc) and I love all of them but tbh he really gives off major “out of touch but super supportive straight man with a trans wife” vibes.

His wife was one of his guy friends for a while and when she finally came out to him he was like “Oh, wouldja look at that! This is VERY convenient. See, I’ve never been into guys myself. Nothing against fellas who like that, just not my cup of tea. So I’ve been trying to figure out for ages why I want to ask you out on a date. Confusin the heck out of me. Again, nothing against it, just never something I’ve been into before. I was having a whole identity crisis over it, Yknow. But I guess that clears all that up! Whaddaya say to dinner?”

[columboscreens]

[smittenskitten]

babygirl

[jazomg88]

All male (human) guys: uhhh who invited the living cookie in?

almond cookie: why am I here.

Here is my sad beige character alignment chart

Let me know of any alterations it needs!

[partlysmith]

"Funny you should say that, Mr. Frog, but those coffee grounds we found at the murder... Well, they were Wilkins Coffee. Now see, the thing that bothers me, is that the victim... Well, he didn't drink Wilkins."

[prokopetz]

Frankly, the weirdest thing about Columbo from the perspective of modern network television isn't the narrative structure – it's the episode length. I'm checking Wikipedia right now to make sure I'm remembering this correctly, and apparently episodes of Columbo range from 73 to 98 minutes in length. Like, the shortest episodes of Columbo are on par with the longest episodes of Game of Thrones. The minimum length to be classified as a "feature film" is 80 minutes, so 50% of the episodes are technically movies. Including commercial breaks for broadcast television, this show would have originally aired in a two-hour timeslot. When folks remark on how weird it is that Columbo himself often doesn't even show up until the second act, you need to understand that what we're talking about is a show where the title character is often first strolling on screen thirty-five minutes in.

[timhulsizer]

[ckret2]

It must be hard for Mrs. Columbo to be a fan of anything. Any time she's into a writer, a movie star, a TV show, her husband comes home and goes "You'll never guess who I met today at work!" and a couple of days later goes "You'll never guess who the murderer was."

[un-monstre]

Mrs. Columbo picks up her husband’s freshly-pressed suit from the dry cleaner and then throws it on the ground and stomps on it, to get it just the way he likes it

[tuna-keyboard]

I think I deserve to be a Columbo type tbh. I'm already a short king with curly hair, just let me act ditzy and annoying on purpose while I dress in a suit and seem generally overwhelmed but never out of my depth somehow

[columboscreens]

[pastacatprod]

Ah yes, one of his classic trademarks.

Columbo about to perform his famous soul-sundering chop attack

[driveintheaterofthemind]

Tintin Meets The Detectives

Art by Adam Murphy

[nuvamata]

(link to original)

[detectivejay]

Time for a new poll! I'm curious to see the spread of answers on this one (and hear any other series not on the list.) Tried to go for a range of older and newer series on here, more on the older end of the spectrum, but I can't cover everything with the limited poll options here, so I hope you'll share your answers! :)

Please reblog for a larger sample size, thank you!

EDIT: Wow this broke containment from my little sideblog, thank you all for sharing your favorites even after the poll concluded. I love getting updates with little snippets of people's favorite and first mystery series and fond memories. Mystery nerds unite! 🥰