#therapy has tshirts?

[whyberealistic]

have my first wedding dress fitting today and therapy tomorrow and i couldn't tell you which i'm dreading more

[chicago-pd-is-weird]

Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader

TW: main theme of eating disorders, reader has a panic attack

Requested by: @sorry-i-spaced

You walked into the bullpen, settling down at your desk for the day. You'd gotten there fairly early, early enough to be the only one there, aside from Adam. Seeing as he'd been having issues at home, he seemed to spend more and more time at work. You nodded to him. "Hey Adam, good morning."

"Morning, (Y/N)," he responded, humming as he looked up from the computer. "You're in early."

You shrugged. "I could say the same thing about you." You shook your head, getting logged on to the computer and working on some reports you had in your desk tray.

A few moments later, Adam scoffed at something on his computer, making your eyes jump up to him. He looked to you. "You see these new dieting trends?"

You took in a short breath, but shook your head, trying to play it off as you looked back down. "No, I don't follow that stuff."

Anymore.

Sometimes you missed it, in a way. You didn't miss the suffering, the growl of your empty belly, or the feeling of eating only lettuce for lunch. But you missed feeling skinny. You missed being able to fit in a size 2 pant and an XS tshirt. You missed getting compliments, people asking if you'd lost weight, and bonding with people over it. It was so unhealthy, and yet, you'd made multiple 'friends' that way.

"It says here a juice clense and intermittent fasting can help you lose twenty pounds within a month. That's insane!" Adam laughed.

"Yeah," you mumbled, trying to seem as disinterested as possible. You remembered all of your therapy techniquies, trying to calm yourself down and tune Adam out. He dropped it for a while, just scoffing at his computer every now and then as he seemed to deep-dive on some articles. Obviously, he had too much time on his hands. You wished Voight was there to assign the man some work.

An hour or so later, the others started to pile in. Hailey arrived and so did Antonio, the two of them chatting about boxing or something of the like. You hadn't really been paying attention, until Adam spoke up again. "Hey, guys, look what we found earlier."

We? No, not we. You.

You huffed, trying not to let Adam get to you. It was just a touchy subject. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know, but it hurt you nevertheless. You just wanted the conversation to be over.

"Juice clense and fasting?" Antonio shook his head. "Nah, they got it all wrong. If you're going to diet, you have to go Keto."

"Antonio, that's so 2009," Adam mocked, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, Laura was on it for a while," he shrugged. "I think she lost a few pounds, but she gave it up after a while. It's hard to just cut out certain things."

"How about we cut out this conversation?" You growled from your desk, not looking up. "Bad for your health."

"Yo, (Y/N), what's your problem?" Adam asked, all three of them looking to you. "Not like we're actually doing it. Just talking."

"Yeah, well, some people do it. It's not funny, either." You looked up with the hardest glare you could muster, hoping your eyes weren't glossed over with tears.

Hailey, who hadn't truly joined the conversation until now, looked to Adam. "She's right, you shouldn't even be looking at that stuff at work. They're all gossip articles." She shrugged and moved to her own desk to get busy. Anotnio went to his own desk too, leaving Adam alone with your glare.

Jay walked in just a moment after, looking around at the silence in the bullpen, then sitting at his own desk. Kim and Kevin soon followed suit, walking in and chatting about some new trend on TikTok. You ignored everyone, just keeping your head down and finishing your case reports. Then, you went to the bathroom. When you came back, you could hear Adam talking to Hailey about you, wondering what was the issue.

Since you'd been dating Jay, Hailey had become like a sister to you. Hailey was practically ignoring Adam's asks. "Come on, Hailey, what's her problem today? She's been grumpy since she came in. Jay? Did you not satify her last night or something?"

"That's enough, Adam," Hailey huffed, shaking her head. "I don't know what's going on, but it's obviously none of our business if she didn't tell us. Drop it."

"Adam, dude, shut up for once in your life," Jay chimed in, shaking his head. "Just let it be. If you pissed her off, she'll come talk to you later."

"Dude, what did I do? All I wanted was to make conversation," Adam huffed. "Why did she come in so early anyways, huh? Did you piss her off first and she's taking it out on me?"

Jay stood from his desk. "Alright, shut up right now, Ruzek, or I'll lay you out in the middle of the bullpen."

Adam stood from his desk, huffing. "Yeah, I'd like to see you try, Halstead."

"Alright, that's enough," Antonio said, standing himself. "I'll lay the both of you out on your asses if you don't both sit down and shut up." He shook his head. "Ruzek, why don't you go check on this?" Finally, someone had found Ruzek something to do. You thanked your lucky stars Antonio was there. He had always stood up for you, even if you weren't close friends. Antonio handed Adam a paper with about twenty names. "Take Kevin with you."

Kevin looked up. "Hey, what did I do to deserve that?"

"Nothing," Anotnio said with a shrug. "It's not a punishment for you. Just go, now."

The two men looked at one another, then left together down the stairs. You sighed in soft relief, still standing against the doorway back into the bullpen. You looked at the four people left, nodding as Hailey met your gaze. You sat back down at your desk as if nothing had happened. You were relieved not only to have some peace and quiet, but to have the instigator removed. Adam wasn't a bad guy, but he was definitely still immature, being practically the youngest on the team. He didn't know how to pick up on social cues the way Hailey or Antonio did. It was his biggest downfall.

Some time later, Voight came into the office, having been at a ComStat meeting all morning. He looked around, seeing the silence, then hummed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "So, I'm two officers down and the rest of you are silent? What's going on?"

Antonio looked up. "I sent them out to drop anchor on some streets we suspect trafficking patterns run through. Do we have a case?"

"No," Voight said, humming and looking to you, Jay, Hailey, and Kim. "What about the rest of you?"

"Finishing some reports, Sarge," Jay said, motioning to the stack on his desk.

"I'm helping with that," Hailey confirmed.

"Filing," Kim said from the filing cabinets near Antonio.

"I just finished my reports a few mintures ago," you said with a shrug. "If there's anything I can help with, let me know."

Voight hummed, then nodded and walked through to his office, motioning Antonio with him. The two shut the office door and talked, but they couldn't be heard behind the wood and glass encasing Voight's desk. You hummed and moved over to Jay's desk. "Need another hand?"

Jay hummed. "No, I think we've got it." Kim moved past the two of you to hit the restroom, leaving you and Jay and Hailey in the bullpen alone. "You okay?" Jay asked softly. "Listen, I know with this morning and everything, and I don't know what Ruzek did but-"

"It's fine," you cut him off with a soft sigh. You hadn't wanted conversation, you'd wanted work.

"It doesn't seem fine," Jay protested, putting a gentle hand on yours. "And about this morning-"

"You wouldn't understand," you mumbled, pulling your hand away. You didn't want to talk about the morning or about Adam. You just wanted to distract yourself.

Jay thought for a moment, ready to protest before realization washed over his face. "Oh... Did Adam say something about your body?"

"No, no, he..." You sighed. "It's fine. It's all fine, Jay."

"He was talking about some new diet fads or something," Hailey chimed in softly, meeting Jay's eyes and giving him a look.

Jay nodded to Hailey, then looked back to you. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

You shook your head and went back to your desk, trying to work on your therapy techniques again, then left your desk to go to the locker room without a word.

-

"(Y/N)," Jay said softly, a soft hand placed on your cheek. He ran his thumb over your cheekbone, which was fairly prominent. You pulled away slightly.

"S-Stop, you'll ruin my makeup."

"You don't need the makeup or the diet. You are beautiful."

"You'll never understand, Jay. Society just doesn't treat men the same way." You sighed wiping the tears from your eyes as you pulled on the pants. You'd been trying to get into the size 0 pants for as long as you could remember, and it was frustrating you that you couldn't get them completely on or buttoned.

"This isn't healthy for you, (Y/N). You don't need to be a size 0 to earn my love."

You let out a scream of frustration when you couldn't pull the pants up all the way. "Fuck! I'm just not losing enough weight!"

"(Y/N), please, please listen to me," Jay begged, walking over and prying your hands off the jeans. "This isn't healthy. You're not healthy. Please, stop trying to be like this. I love you, and I always will no matter what. You could be a size 100 and I would still love you."

You clung to the jeans like they were your life force, but when Jay finally got your hands off them, you hit his chest, then clung to him, sinking into his arms and to the ground. He knelt with you, holding you tightly to his chest, stroking your hair and rocking you slowly.

"I hate myself..." you mumbled. "I hate my body... I'm not skinny enough..."

"That's not true," Jay whispered in reply. "Your body doesn't define who you are... Running ten miles a day and starving yourself isn't healthy. If you don't stop, you won't have a body to hate, and I won't have anyone to give my love to."

You sobbed into his shoulder, still clenching fistfulls of his shirt. Finally, he coaxed you out of the state you were in, took the pants off you, and helped you into some sweatpants that were a size 4, which were big on you at that point. He picked you up with concerning ease and took you to the living room, settling you down and kissing your face. A bit later, he brought in some food he'd made, some chicken and gravy and biscuts with vegetables mixed in. Then, he sat beside you and handed you a small plateful. As much as he wanted to give you a normal or even large portion, he knew it wouldn't be right. He knew you had to start small. "Here," he said softly. 
"You don't have to eat all of it, but can you please at least eat a few bites?"

You sighed, but nodded. Jay had been so gentle with you and never really frustrated. He hadn't seen how bad it was until you'd started dating a few weeks back. It hurt him to see you like this, you could see it in his eyes, but you didn't know any different. High school had ruined you, and you'd been spiraling out of control since then. You took a bite of the delicious food Jay had made. You had to force yourself to do it, but the smile that came to his face when you did was more than enough to get you to take another. You loved him, truly, and wanted to get better, for him.

-

You sighed as you sat in the locker room, trying to keep yourself from crying too loudly. It had gotten to you. You now wore a size 8, and were in a generally healthy state. Sometimes you'd forget to eat or skip meals because you were working, but Jay always made sure to catch you if that happened.

You were terrified now, because the fight that morning had really hurt you and then you'd taken it out on Adam. It wasn't his fault, but he had triggered a fight or flight within you. You swallowed hard and tried to breathe, feeling a panic attack coming on. You moved to the wall shakily and sat down, just in case you passed out. You tried to control your breathing, breaking out into sobs.

-

"(Y/N), it's been forever since we had a night out. Come on, let me take you out to a fancy restaurant or something."

"Jay, I hate fancy restaurants." You rolled your eyes with a small huff. "What's wrong with having a night in?"

"We just go to work and come home. We never go out together."

"We go to Molly's all the time. More than I'd like to. I'm practically an alcoholic because of you, and it makes me gain more weight." You huffed and turned from the counter to look at him. "I never drank before I met you. Now we're there like every other night. Sometimes more."

"Well, yeah, because we never go anywhere or do anything. I can't be cooped up all the time."

You shrugged. "Then go out and do things. I don't see the problem."

"The problem is I'm not doing them with you. I want to do things with you, (Y/N)."

“And you know I hate going out. People look at me funny.”

“No they don’t!” Jay raised his voice at you. “And even if they were, you know I’m here for you! I’d never let anyone get away with hurting you!”

“Jay!” You yelled, huffing again. “I’m too fat to ever look good going out! I don’t want to go to some fancy restaurant and wear a dress! My makeup never looks right and I look dumb!” You slammed down the plate with your toast on it, shaking your head. “Forget this! I can't eat breakfast in peace even if I wanted to!” You grabbed your jacket, badge and keys, leaving from Jay’s apartment, despite his protests and apologies. You ignored him, then left for the district, the only other place you felt safe outside of your own apartment.

-

You tried to breathe deeply, but it was so hard. Between your fight with Jay and the ordeal with Adam, you just wanted to shrink into a ball and disappear. You sobbed, trying to keep yourself quiet as you spiraled into your own mind and thoughts.

Suddenly, there was a hand gripping your arm. "Breathe, breathe, (Y/N)," came a familiar woman's voice. You looked up, seeing Hailey through your tears. "Breathe in, as deep as you can. Come on, I've got you."

You breathed in as deeply as possible, but it wasn't deep enough. You breathed out, but back in fairly quickly, trying to catch that deep breath you desparately needed.

"Good, good," Hailey cooed. "Good, (Y/N), breathe."

With Hailey's help, you calmed down within a few minutes. You were able to breathe again, although your head was spinning. You looked up at Hailey, who simply held you by the shoulders now. You sniffled and nodded to her. "Thanks..." you mumbled.

"(Y/N), I've never seen you like this. What's going on? What happened this morning?"

You swallowed hard, getting up with her help and steadying yourself. You sighed, shaking your head. "Jay and I... We're just different. I don't like to be around people, you know? Not in public or at fancy places. I just want to be with him or my friends, like you. People I know won't judge me..." You shrugged.

"Judge you for what?"

Tears came back to your eyes as you wrapped your arms around yourself. "For... For my body..." you mumbled.

"What do you mean, (Y/N)? None of us would judge you based on how you look."

"I-I was really bad for a while... Before I met Jay, and before he helped me get into intelligence... Before I met you..." You sighed shakily, looking to Hailey. "I just... I had a really bad disorder..."

Hailey seemed to understand a bit, nodding. "We would never think of you as anything less than what you are: smart, confident, beautiful. I know Jay feels that way, and so does everyone else in the unit."

"It's all fake," you mumbled.

"Fake it until you make it," Hailey replied with a hike of her shoulders. "Maybe you can compromise with Jay on this. He wants to go out, you want to stay in, maybe there's some kind of middle ground."

"Like what?"

She hummed, thinking for a moment before nodding. "I'll tell Jay what I'm thinking, and you give it a chance, okay?"

You looked to Hailey, skeptical of whatever it was, but nodded. "Alright..."

"And about Adam?"

You sighed. "I was... I was stressed from this morning with Jay and on top of that, he was talking about diet culture and... Those were the types of articles I read about in tabloids in high school... You know, the fads? I didn't... I couldn't listen to that. After this morning, I-I just wanted to leave and be safe, and then I felt attacked again, like temptation to go back to that place... I don't know... It just hit somewhere too close to my soul." You sighed. "I'll apologize when I see him next, I-I just couldn't take his constant talking this morning."

"Hey, we all have a hard time tolerating him on a regular basis, let alone with you going through something like this. You don't have to apologize; you were only defending yourself."

You shrugged again. "I was still mean. I'll apologize and just tell him it bothers me."

"Okay," Hailey said with a small nod. "Alright. Do you need another minute?"

"No, I'm good." You stood, wiping your face and then taking a deep breath.

.

Adam and Kevin came back in after lunchtime. You hadn't moved from your desk for lunch but, like most days, Jay had left with Hailey to get lunch and come back with a to-go container with a small meal in it. Jay walked in and set it on your desk, then leaned down and gave you a small kiss to your temple before returning to his desk without a word. You nodded a small thanks as you looked up at him, then your eyes returned to your paperwork. You typically did this, either ate in the office or not at all. You used to leave the office to eat in your car, but as you gained relationship with the team, you became more comfortable eating lunch around them.

After Jay came in and everything was settled, everyone went back to their respective "busy work," seeing as there just wasn't a case to handle that day. Even Sergeant Voight looked bored, eyes glazed over as he stared at the computer in his office.

You looked up to Adam, waiting for the right time. He looked up and caught your eyes, you silently nodding to him and getting up, moving toward the interrogation rooms. As you moved into the viewing room, Adam was on your heels. "Hey, look, (Y/N), what happened this morning-"

You shushed him, shaking your head with a soft sigh. "I wanted to apologize. I was very rude toward you. It's just that... Things... Things like that bother me. Stuff about eating and diet culture and that kind of stuff... I just don't like it, okay?"

Adam's eyes softened a little as he looked at you. "(Y/N), I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"I was taking my anger out on you this morning, and it wasn't right, and I am very sorry, Adam. Look, you're a good guy and I shouldn't have been so rude to you, no matter what I felt."

Adam nodded and put a soft hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry too, I didn't realize it was making you upset. I need to do better with that stuff. I shouldn't have been talking about it, and I won't again. I understand now that it's a touchy subject for you. I didn't mean to upset you. Again, I'm sorry."

You nodded and offered a small smile. "I'm glad it's all okay now."

"Me too." He pulled you into a short embrace, squeezing you softly. "And hey, for what it's worth, you look nice today."

You laughed, snorting a little at his remark. "Is that all, Ruzek?" You punched his shoulder. "Get out of here."

He chuckled and put his hands up, walking backwards and out the door, back toward the bullpen. You took the chance to use the bathroom before going back as well, sitting at your desk and finishing up your tasks while eating your lunch.

-

When the day came to a close, you stood and grabbed your jacket, looking to Jay as he approached your desk. "Hey," he said softly, low enough that the others wouldn't be able to hear. "Let's get out of here. We'll make a stop at your place, then I want to take you somewhere."

You sighed a little at the thought, glancing to Hailey who smiled and nodded at you, then looking back to Jay. His puppy-dog eyes pleaded you to say yes. You finally nodded. "Alright. You can follow me home. I'll just park and change, then I'll be back out to meet you."

"Perfect, I'll stop at my place on the way to grab a few things and meet you there." Jay smiled softly, glad you'd agreed to it.

.

When you got into Jay's truck outside your house, you hummed. "So, what is Hailey's crazy plan this time?"

Jay smiled and shook his head. "It's a surprise. I can't tell you yet."

You looked to him. "You're not taking me anywhere fancy, are you? Cause I dressed in sweats for a reason."

He laughed, looking over at you and grabbing your hand. "I would take you anywhere in sweats. You're beautiful no matter what."

You couldn't help but smile, bringing his hand up to your mouth and kissing his knuckles. Despite your disagreements, you loved Jay with your whole heart. No argument, despite how much it affected you, would ever change the love you held for him. He pulled your hand toward him as he drove, reciprocating the kiss to your knuckles. You smiled again, moving across the center console to lean against him. You just wanted to be close to him, and you hoped wherever he was taking you would allow you to do that.

You rode beside Jay in gentle silence for a while as he finally turned into a fast food place. You furrowed your eyebrows, sitting up in your seat and looking up at him. "A fast food place?"

"This isn't our final stop, just stay here a second." He got out of the truck, leaving you inside. Truthfully, you were fine with being in the truck as opposed to inside the store, but you missed Jay's warmth sitting beside you. In his place, you turned on the heater and let the vents circulate hot air into the car. You hummed at the warmth, closing your eyes and leaning your head back. Jay came back about ten minutes later, a bag in hand. He set it in the back set before getting in and kissing your cheek. "Alright, ready?"

"Yeah," you replied, still soaking in the heat. Jay rolled down his window, allowing you to keep the heat on while he stayed a bit cooler. You didn't mind, as it also circulated in some fresh air. It was nearly fall, so the nights were getting cooler, but not cold yet.

Some time later, you noticed Jay had taken you to the outskirts of the city. He parked his truck at a local park, away from the hustle and bustle. You furrowed your brow as he turned off the truck, the heat leaving you. You looked to him for an explanation, but he didn't say anything. He simply smiled as he got out, moving to your side to help you out (which you didn't need, but it wasn't unwelcomed). He then helped you up onto the bed of the truck, following. He had a goofy grin on his face as he laid out several pillows and blankets, enough for the both of you to be comfortable and warm. Then, he grabbed the food from the cab and laid it out, helping you to sit down. "Ta-da," he said with a small grin.

You couldn't help but smile at his smile, shaking your head. "A truck bed dinner and cuddling?"

"This way, we're alone and can eat and lay here in peace, together, but we're also not at home."

You hummed. "Hailey is a genius."

He laughed and nodded. "Yeah, she's pretty great for coming up with this one. And best part is, we can go anywhere, so I'll never get tired of being in the same place, but you'll always be comfortable."

You smiled again, this time wider. "Yeah, this is perfect."

"I'm glad you think so." He motioned to dinner. "Now eat, and then we can lay back and watch the stars."

You scooched over to be closer to him, leaning into his side as you ate, humming. "It's perfect, Jay."

He rubbed your back, kissing the top of your head. "Anything for you, beautiful."

[luciawithoutj]

Hey hi hello!

I have some things to say about new merch and jo merch in general so this is gonna be a litrle longer post and actually I think I should cange my semiotics theme (which is already about jo) about how bad their merch design is.

First of all little disclaimer: this is all my humble opionion based on what I learned in my one year of being graphic design student and an artist and designer on the internet for last 4-5 years. Before going to uni I learned most of about art and graphic design stuff by reading books and watching tons of yt videos. Second of all this critic is just coming from place of love for this band because I see so mucb potential and they could do some amazing merch designs if they give it a chance and I am fully aware how expensive the touring is and why they had to cut the quality of merch products.

So far my favorite jo band merch designs are cds (that probably required some designer to make), condoms (because they are really funny, genius, nicely designed and unique merch that fit the vibe of the band and matches their songs as well) and the new tshirt from last merch drop (which design is made by one slovenian fanartist : link.

Main reason that made me want to speak up is seeing that this merch drop will only have 100 products (my friend said that could mean 20-ish shirts per size) which how big this fandom has gotten in last year is pretty really dam limited. For a limited product I am really disappointed and I hoped for more. For such a limited product that design is the most default design they could have gone for and I am so sorry for Damon because his work is goregous, amazing, breathtaking and I could talk about it for ages and how inspiring it is but this shirt design isn't serving.

If they wanted to do bare minimum of design with those 5 images here is some of my ideas (unfortunately I don't have time to visually show them to yall on a mock ups because of finals that I should be studying for instead of writing this so try to imagine what I am trying to say and demonstrate). First is just simple instead of white choose black shirt or even better a thisrt. If you want it to go a stepp further is using their name logo font (font name is Avaline btw if anyone wants to download and use it for their designs :))) and either put it how they did when they promoted the everybody's waiting or to write idk therapy sessions or anything related to the band or it can even be some inside joke.

Something like this would make design just a bit more intersting but still bare minimum but amazing for regular merch. If they want to go a step further but want to keep the long sleeves (this idea was suggested by few people I talked too) they could put pictures vertically on the sleeves. I would find it a bit cooler if it is on the right sleeve out-side and then they put their band logo (the heart one) on the left side of the shirt where people's hearts normally are.

After exams I would definitely like to try to make some designs and just limit myself with this 5 pictures and play with typography and photoshoop to make something interesting.

Another I want to mentioned is how in my humble opinion if you are gonna sell limited edition either make it really pretty or good quality or really cursed and funny with inside jokes.

I think people (and me first) would eat tshirts (but also other merch designs) with some cursed designs or just texts that say "sparklative" or "slay pose" or "I feel SloveNACE" (this 3 were suggested by amazing people in tumblr discord server) or even let Jan photoshoop their faces on most random picture. This 5 guys with their gen z humour could make and do some hilarious merch like how amazing idea the condoms are.

Last thing I want to say is how many amazingly talented fans are. I mean even Damon was so shocked and moved by amount of talent and art made in this community. Furthermore I know (some of them as online friends and mutuals, others as just artists from same fandom) who are also either graphic design students or they work in art/graphic design/entertainment fields and some of them (including myself) would be so happy to even make few merch designs or art for them for freee or for a ticket for their show. Personally I would die from happiness if I get a chance to work with my favorite band that inspires me so much everyday to the point people at my uni think I am from Slovenia and know slovenian because of how much I include them in my uni work and how much fanart and designs I made because of them in last 6 months.

I just think there is so much potential guys might not be aware of (Idk honestly because who knows what is going on backstage in their lives). But yeah they could have even asked Damon to help them with composition of the pictures on that shirt or even hire Racik to make some pretty art or any fanartist honestly. Here is just few links of my favorite fanartists who also do a lot of graphic design related stuff (and also some of them sell their products on their own websites/redbubble/etsy/inprint/etc) :

Tia <3

Roxanne

Vic

jo.kam_ (previously mentioned her design)

Lemon

yelecx

Racik (ofc)

There is probably more but my brain for hell of it won't remember any names so feel free to add in the comments or tags more artists <3

I could probably go more in depth and give more ideas how to improve merch designs the cheapest and best way as possible but still trying to keep the quality good as it needs to be. I know there is still gonna be people fighting for this shirts and people are still gonna buy their merch but just it hurts my art/designer soul seeing this bad designs when there is so much potential and they have amazing fans and amazing crew and they work with so many talnted people and they themselves are so talented and their music inspired so many and so much.

Thanks everyone for coming to my TedTalk. <3

Actually now I am thinking and from just talking about jo work from design and semiotics perspective for that semiotics seminar I could just focus on their merch design and go more in detail about it and if yall want when it is done and I translate it in english I could share it here for people who want to read about it. Let me know I guess.

Also if someone is interested my art and design insta is lucia.without.j and my redbubble is lucia-without-j and my dms are always open if someone wants to chat or complain about anything art, design, joker out or any other fandom I am in related.

P. S. I am so sorry for any spelling mistakes and if what I said doesn't make sense. English isn't my first language.

[coallise]

Happy life in heaven

This is part of one au that @seramilla /@contrivedchaos birthed from the ask box. Carmilla and her daughters are happy winners in heaven. Vaggie got hurt bad and needs physical therapy and maybe a mother and sisters.

Emily focused in on Carmilla and rushed over, a bounce in her step.

“‘Milla!” Emily cheered before hugging the angel's side.

Carmilla stood tall amongst the other winners, black and white hair pulled into a bun wearing a black off the shoulder top and white leggings and black pointe shoes. She gave Emily a one armed hug and kissed her head.

“Hola, nina, what do you need,” Carmilla asked. With her were her two daughters Odette and Clara. Odette wore a white button up over her leggings and long sleeved top. Clara had a red crop top and cargo pants over her leggings.

“Ok, so one of heaven defenders got really hurt. She needs physical therapy and I was hoping you could teach her how to dance. She's getting so depressed doing the normal physical therapy exercises and,” Emily started to ramble.

“Have her met us at the dance studio at three. We're there every weekday. Do you know what she should wear or?” Carmilla asked, already pulling out the list for the required clothes.

“I got it! Thank you so much! I'll let her know,” Emily gave her one more squeeze before flying off.

At 2:30 Vaggie was looking at the door of the dance studio. She didn't know why she agreed to take the dance lessons, she could barely walk without a cane, therapy has gotten her nowhere but Emily's puppy dog eyes made her melt.

She took a deep breath and hobbled in on her cane. The inside was warm, old worn wood floors, walls with dents from various posters and decorations being posted and taken off.

“Oh hey! You must be Vaggie,” Clara bounced up to her, “I'm Clara, come on, I'll show you the studio.” 

Clara took her hand and brought her to the elevator. It was worn down and had a gate as a door.

“I never seen a place this worn down in heaven before,” Vaggie mentioned as the elevator went up and she saw the old bricks of the shaft.

“Well, it's designed after the studio we started dancing at when we were alive. When mama mentioned wanting to give lessons, the studio took to the appearance of our memories of this studio,” Clara explained. The elevator shifted before stopping. Clara dragged her again to the studio room.

It was well kept and clean but worn down like the rest. The shine had been buffed off the bars that lined the room and some mirrors had been discolored. Off to the side was Odette and Carmilla stretching.

“Mama! Vaggie's here!” Clara called.

“Can you bring her to the benches, mija, I'm going grab her shoes,” Carmilla went to the far end and pick up a box while Clara sat Vaggie down on the work bench. She traced the grain and words that had been carved in it.

“Ok, chiquita, this is how you tie ballet flats, you cross them here,” Carmilla started as she started to tie the shoes.

“Si habla Espanol, “ Vaggie pointed out.

“¿Quieres que hablemos español durante la lección?” Carmilla asked as she helped Vaggie to her feet and led her to the bar where her daughters were stretching.

“No, we can continue in English,” Vaggie didn't want to mention her Spanish had gotten rusty over the years. 

“Fair, now let's start with stretching, try and touch your toes,” Carmilla instructed. She led Vaggie threw the stretches and the basics before it was time for dinner and the end of the lesson.

“Adios, Vaggie,” Carmilla said. Her heart tugged in the direction Vaggie was walking, an unspoken invite to dinner on her lips.

Each day for a week went similar, Vaggie could walk by herself for a good hour now, which made her happy.

“Chiquita,” Carmilla said as she held the sleeve of the tshirt Vaggie was wearing. It had bad sweat stains on it.

“It's hard doing laundry by myself. I'll wash it soon, I promise,” Vaggie blushed and turned away.

“Shouldn't you have someone helping you?” Carmilla's grip tightened. Clara and Odette started to pack their stuff despite being the beginning of practice.

“Well, a guy comes every day but, I can do fine on my own,” Vaggie tried. She stumbled when Carmilla yanked the shirt and started to drag her to the elevator. “Where are we going?”

“Your place,” Carmilla's clipped her words. Vaggie understood that there was no room for argument with that tone. Vaggie hung her head in shame when they arrived. Trash bags were full of takeout containers too heavy for her to put in the trashcan, clothes in a pile by her bed, some lightbulbs had burned out.

Carmilla twitched.

“Mama, we got the kitchen,” Clara supplied.

“It's -” Vaggie was about to protest but the look Carmilla sent her made her shut up. The three started to work on cleaning the small apartment, Carmilla had the clothes in a bag over her shoulder.

“We can wash these at our house, someone needs a shower,” Carmilla ordered. Vaggie opened her mouth to protest but ended up nodding.

“Do you have a shower seat?” She ended up asking.

“Of course, mij- chiquita,” Carmilla coughed at her slipup. No one mentioned it.

Carmilla's house was bright and airy with a large outdoor garden in the middle. Vaggie had to admit the shower felt amazing and being in clean pajamas was so nice.

When she was done, Vaggie went to the kitchen where Carmilla and Clara were starting dinner.

“Chiquita, think you can set the table?” Carmilla asked.

“Plates and silverware are in the cabinet,” Clara pointed to an antique cabinet where plates were on display. Vaggie easily set the table and Odette came in to say the clothes were in the wash.

“You stained some stuff bad, I used half the bottle of pretreat and I'm not sure if it got it all out,” Odette said.

“Oh well, we'll just get her new clothes to replace them,” Carmilla put a large bowl of chili on the table as Clara put some arepas down. They waited till everything was set and Carmilla took her first plate before they got there's. Every time Vaggie turned away, her plate was refilled. She knew better to leave any on her plate and tried fighting off the three sets of hands determined to put more on her plate.

“I'm full, para! I'm full!” Vaggie yelled, turning her plate over.

“Too full for churros?” Carmilla asked. Vaggie paused, it was a trap and she knew it. They weren't done, desert wouldn't be brought out yet, but if she said yes then she wouldn't get churros, if she said no then they'll put more food on her plate.

“The food needs to settle,” Vaggie tried. It seemed like the right answer as they backed off. After awhile, the churros were brought out and they ate them while watching the TV. Vaggie didn't know when she fell asleep but when she woke up, she was in a bed with a quilt, the morning sun shining threw the window and the smell of pancakes in the air.

“Mijas! Breakfast!” Carmilla's voice rang threw the house. Vaggie groaned as she got up and put on a random outfit. It was a red blouse with a knee length skirt she didn't remember owning.

“Can chiquitas have breakfast too or is it only for mijas?” Vaggie joked when she came in, neither daughter was there yet.

“I think I have enough pancakes for a chiquita,” Carmilla rubbed Vaggie's head. She hesitated a moment before kissing it, “thou you might be able to take their portions soon.”

Carmilla waited a moment before sighing, “Clara! Odette! Breakfast!” 

Vaggie flinched and she heard two sets of feet run over.

“We're here, mama!” Clara said, she was putting on her shirt, hair undone. Odette held up her pants with one hand, toothbrush in her mouth.

“Finally, and here I was starting to think we were going to have to eat this ourselves,” Carmilla smiled as they all sat down.

Vaggie tried to go home but each day for months she found herself eating at their table, sleeping in their bed and battling the two for their shower.

“Mama! Look! I finally did it!” Vaggie called over. She could finally do a standing split.

Clara and Odette had their jaws on the floor as Carmilla got tears in her eyes.

“Perfecto, eso es Perfecto,” Carmilla paused before smiling, “mija.”

Vaggie suddenly realized she called Carmilla mama and tried to take it back but that was hard when she was pulled into a backbreaking hug.

[hotasfahrenheit]

Mew trying to become Ray let alone date him was not on my bingo card for this week but I'm no professional bingo card designer, let's talk about this anyway

We all went into this show knowing it was going to be messy, asking for it to be messy, we're all weak for SandRay so RayMew is upsetting because we want Ray with Sand, sure, but setting all of that aside, the thing that is really concerning to me about the fact that Mew is choosing to rebound with Ray is the fact that he is very creepily BECOMING RAY while doing it. He's putting on a persona to handle his life right now and it's really unhealthy and boy needs to cut it out and get some therapy. (they all need therapy.)

At the beginning of the episode, before the confrontation with Boston, Mew is dressed more or less as himself. He and Ray do dress similarly on a base level- they both wear a lot of patterned, unbuttoned shirts over a second shirt, but Mew normally wears stripes over tshirts, and mostly light colours with a lot of blues and greens. Ray wears a lot of darker colours and patterns with shapes and designs, with a lot of reds, tans, and oranges, over tanktops/vests/whatever you want to call them where you're from.

After blasting Boston into the pool and delivering one of the most satisfying kicks on television, before going for his confrontation with Nick, we get the creepy tub shot of Mew sinking into his misery and his upcoming revenge era-

To put on his Ray cosplay, he's gotta sink down into the deep. This isn't a rebirth or an emergence of a new, stronger version of himself; this is him descending, covering himself and his hurt with someone else's aura and attitude so that he can cope with the path he's decided he needs to go on to burn his enemies and get his revenge.

He tries it out when he goes to see Nick and it works for him-

This is his soft launch, where he's up against someone else who has, or feels he has, been done wrong by Boston and Top (and done wrong, obviously) but that Mew knows is vulnerable. Mew pushes on Nick to help him get his revenge on Boston, and Nick crumbles. Using this persona, this attitude, is working for him.

He uses it to hunt down Gap next, another trial run, that goes flawlessly for him as well.

He's got the black tank, the necklace, and a black, white, and grey shirt this time, another test of borrowed confidence. And he's successful: he pulls Gap with almost no effort, he gets the file, he's ready to go now. He's used the Ray based persona twice with people he doesn't know, his confidence is up, which means he's ready to use it on someone he does know.

So when he gets ready to confront Boston, we get a whole sequence of him preparing for the battle, and checking all the details. There's a lot of very close up shots of his face and eyes here that I left out of the gifs because this scene was already long, and a lot of focus on each detail.

The necklace like Ray wears, a tanktop like Ray wears (but black! because this is Mew in his angsty villain era!), a patterned button up shirt like Ray wears, check the hair and go. Armored with this other persona, he's ready to handle Boston, and he does. Much, much better than Ray himself, mind you, compared to when Ray went and confronted Boston in the last episode.

The next big outfit switch we get for Mew in this episode (I'm not counting the whole big Top punching Mew confrontation since Mew and Ray are both just wearing their school clothes there) is Top's daydream about dancing with Mew. This whole sequence is so soft focus and Top looks so sad and there's no one else there which implies to me he's imagining this and it's not an actual memory, but either way we're back to Mew in stripes, with Top in stripes as well.

What's different about Mew and Top matching versus Mew matching himself to Ray? Mew and Top don't really MATCH so much as coordinate. They're often in different colours, different styles, different material shirts, etc. Like here, Mew is wearing an unbuttoned dress shirt with vertical stripes over a tshirt, while Top is wearing a collared polo shirt with horizontal stripes, AND they're wearing different colours. They work together without fully matching, and they're distinct to the characters as well. Even when their styles get a little closer, like Top wearing some solid colour button up shirts in episode 6 instead of polo shirts, he styles them differently than Mew does and I at least can't really picture them switching clothes and having the outfits really look right.

Meanwhile, the last scene of the episode, with Mew dancing with Ray, we get this-

Mew is dressed as Ray again, even shifting into Ray's common colour schemes with the flowers on this one. His first outfit when he went to see Nick was a trial and the pattern still had a lot of blues in it, but he's been shifting into darker colours with the tans and oranges we see Ray in pretty often with this.

(Ray, meanwhile, is wearing a shirt that looks like something Sand would have chosen for him, of course.)

Ray is reckless, Ray is fearless, Ray is bold, Ray is confident, Ray is wild and sometimes unpredictable, or he at least seems to be to the much more conservative Mew, so slipping into Ray's clothes and taking on what he thinks is Ray's persona is a way for Mew to push himself in ways he hasn't before. There's no way Mew could have handled his whole spy mission to get the video file from Gap as himself the way he has been; that's not in his wheelhouse.

From the preview for next week it looks like Mew is sliding into more of Ray's persona with the partying behaviors, and I don't think it's going to end well for him. But being with Top has taught him that trying to get someone to change is useless because they're still the same mess on the inside, so his decision to slide down the same path as Ray and let go of his inhibitions instead of trying to fix Ray is as unsurprising as it is self-destructive.

Seeing Mew take some kind of power over his life should have been satisfying, and in some ways it definitely was, like watching him burn the notebook page and try to put his foot down with Top, but then seeing him do it while spiraling mentally and slowly covering himself with Ray's outward persona at the same time was incredibly unnerving. Adding in him deciding to get involved with Ray romantically and it just speed ratchets up the unhealthy factor by a million miles a minute.

It also shows how well Mew actually knows Ray now compared to how well he thinks he knows Ray and who and what he thinks Ray is, that he could send himself down this path without seeing the writing on the wall about who Ray is trying to be and what Ray is trying to deal with behind Ray's substance abuse problems and everything else, but I imagine that will be part of the inevitable explosion that THIS impending disaster will also turn into, potentially very soon.

You can't fix your problems by pretending to be someone that you're not, especially if who you're trying to be is someone you know who is incredibly problematic and unhealthy themselves. It's a whole toxic situation even BEFORE you start trying to DATE THEM AT THE SAME TIME.

We wanted a mess and boy are we getting it.

(ETA: Should have stuck a credit in here earlier oops, a post from @spokenfromtheheartandsoul got my brain going in this direction last night and this post is what happened after the gears turned on this for most of the day)

[stripydottycat]

Will knew that long term prisoners often got admirers. Hell, some even married in prison! So Will was pleasantly surprised to get a visit from a sultry blonde woman who whispered “I want your body” in a most seductive manner

Alright!

What was Chilton’s take on conjugal visits?

Chilton had struck out with the sultry blonde multiple times. He decided to allow a conjugal visit but only after putting Will on a cocktail of drugs known to cause erectile dysfunction. Revenge is best served with pharmaceuticals.

Although the problem wasn’t so much erectile dysfunction as an inability to finish. Will didn’t mind a little bit of edging, or even a medium amount. But total inability to finish was very frustrating. It was only when when Jackie (Will was sure that was not the woman’s real name but he really didn’t care) called him “a good boy, a very good boy, the best boy” that he spurted all over her hand. She ran her (clean) left hand through Will’s hair as he panted against the bars, then departed immediately.

Hannibal visited not half an hour later.

Will was lying on his bed, daydreaming of Jackie & being the very best boy. Hannibal stood outside the bars, entirely still, apart from his nostrils which were going off like a frog in a sock. Clearly…..Will had recently had a successful climax……with a….woman…..with BEDELIA. He grabbed the bars separating him from Will so hard his knuckles went white, & the bars creaked slightly as he pulled on them in his fury.

“WHO WAS SHE!!! WHICH SLUTTY BITCH WHORE DEMON HAS TOUCHED YOU?”

Will was pulled out of his pleasant daydream rather abruptly by the hitherto unknown experience of being being shouted at by Hannibal. He sat up on his bunk, blinking. Why was Hannibal so angry?

His pendulum started madly swinging about all over the place, trailing little glittery love hearts in its wake.

Oh.

“Hannibal….are you…in love with me?”

Of course Hannibal knew Dr Sluttybitch’s smell very well, having had therapy sessions with her twice a week for years, but he wanted to hear Will say it himself. Plus Hannibal couldn’t quite believe Dr Bitchface would be so brazen as to touch his best boy. Hannibal certainly knew what he would be having for dinner the rest of that week & it was Bedelia Bitchslutwhore bolognaise.

“Hannibal?”

His recipe plans were interrupted by the quavering tone of Will, who was now standing quite close to the bars, though not quite close enough to touch.

Will asked again “Are you in love with me, Hannibal?”

Hannibal was lost for words for a moment. Should he declare his feelings for Will now? Having just yelled (ugh, so unbecoming; he hadn’t yelled since he was a surgeon, when he was an accomplished yeller - regularly made junior doctors shit themselves with fear, especially when the yell was followed by an accurately thrown scalpel) he felt quite sheepish, and vulnerable. He paused before replying simply “yes”.

Will’s mouth twisted with displeasure.

“Well that’s a bit unfortunate, Hannibal. Jackie and I …Jackie & I got married last week.”

At that point Will pulled something out of his pocket, & Hannibal noticed the gold wedding ring on his ring finger. Will handed the piece of paper to Hannibal though the bars. Hannibal snatched it off him & stared in disbelief at the image. Will, in a black prison onesie with a white tshirt visible at the neck, & a clearly very poor quality black bow tie, holding the hands through the bars of “Jackie” aka Dr Bedelia Whoreslag Du Maurier who was wearing a puffy sleeved white lace & crystal wedding dress (very poor taste, ugly as hell). She looked very happy, as did Will.

Hannibal started to tremble.

Will handed him another photograph, of “JACKIE” kissing Will through the bars.

Hannibal started to feel tight in the chest. He leaned against the bars, then felt himself slide to the floor. He rolled onto his back & decided he was definitely having a heart attack, or his heart had broken, or possibly both.

Will crouched down close to the bars, a malicious grin on his face.

“See, see?” He hissed at Hannibal. “This is my design.”

Hannibal clutched at his chest, & the World narrowed to a long tunnel, with a bright light at the end…

Hannibal gasped & sat up in bed, clammy & pulse pounding. Will, in bed beside him, placed a hand on his shoulder, and said in a concerned tone of voice “Are you ok?”

Hannibal turned to look at him, nodding before lying down to snuggle up to Will. “Merely a spectre of the past playing a game. Tell me Will, how many times did Dr Du Maurier visit you in the BSHCI?”

Will squinted. “Just the once, when she said she believed me.”

“And she was the only woman to visit you, apart from Alana?”

Will was quiet for a moment, then blushed. “Well there was this woman called Jackie…..”

[goatcheesecak3]

Lawrence Gordon red flags? 🥺

Red flag headcanons

Lawrence Gordon x gn!reader

Fic type: headcanons, whatever the opposite of fluff is

Warnings: anger issues, emotional manipulation

Context: this is post trap, but in an au where Lawrence doesn't become an apprentice, because I'm not too sure apprentice Lawrence would even be in a relationship lmao

A/n: thank you for your request!! I'm glad this red flag series has been so well recieved so far hehe <33

He almost never clears his schedule, so while the date nights you have are lavish and thoughtful, they almost never happen. He always seems to have time to go to fancy wine bars with his colleagues after work though...

Even before the trap Lawrence had occasional angry outbursts, but after the trap, the divorce and his lack of going therapy for any of it, he's got a much shorter temper. He rarely gets angry directly at you, but he's easily frustrated by minor inconveniences. He craves complete control and stability, so little things set him off, like the time the microwave broke and you found him yelling and smashing a plate on the floor in a fit of rage. It's not directed at you, but you still find it scary.

After his angry outbursts, he becomes overwhelmed with guilt and begins to sob and plead for your forgiveness. You understand why he acts like this, but it's frustrating that it seems he cares more about clearing his own conscience than comforting you.

You notice certain things about his relationship with his daughter that rub you the wrong way. He doesn't really show affection by being an active parent in her life, but by showing up out of the blue once in a while with exorbitant gifts and trips to disneyland. She's too young to be upset with him buying her love at the minute, right now she just sees her dad as this superhero who swoops down to rescue her from her strict mother and shower her with gifts, but you get the feeling that she'll end up resenting him in the long run. You've tried to talk to Larry about this before, feeling especially worried that someday she may think that you were the one keeping her dad away from her, but Larry brushes it off every time.

He works long hours, so you're apart for most of the day. Occasionally he comes home, sceptical that you might have had another man over while he was gone. You can't help but think, maybe he suspects you'd do that because that's exactly what he would do in your situation.

When you get invited to dinner parties with his rich friends, he often coaches you on what to wear, how to talk do as not to come off as abrasive, and general etiquette. It feels somewhat like he's looking down his nose at you for not having the same upper class upbringing as him.

Sometimes complains that he's "too tired" for cuddles after sex, which really hurts your feelings. Credit where it's due though, once he realised why that makes you feel so unloved, he very rarely does it.

He gets you expensive and fancy gifts, but none of them are really things that you like, moreso things that he'd want you to like, to seem more classy. Diamond earrings and silver bracelets are pretty, but you'd much prefer a box set from your favourite TV show, or a cool tshirt with a funny design. He has a hard time distinguishing displays of wealth from acts of love.

He can be quite patronising about your interests, you tried showing him your favourite series, thinking it would fun for the two of you to watch out together, but he burst into laughter and asked "do you honestly watch stuff like that?"

Early on in your relationship, he joked that it's a relief that you've never met his ex wife, since she wouldn't exactly give him a glowing review. The only problem is, it felt more like him telling on himself that a joke, and the thoughts of what he might have done wrong in his past relationship - and what he may yet do to you - eat away at you.

Bonus: Comes home smelling like axe body spray and cheap beer (his friend Adam's signature scent) suspiciously often 🤨🤨

[stars-tonight]

Hey! I would love to do a match up then (gyaaa I’m excited)!! I would like to be matched with Haikyuu men (post time skip because I’m an adult). I would love a long head canon too but I respect the writer grind so do what you’re comfortable with! (Romantic too). I go by she/her and my ideal type must meet three requirements: 1. has to make me laugh (isn’t difficult I laugh at literally EVERYTHING 80% of my day is just me giggling at tik toks) 2. I have a big fluffy golden doodle, she is a therapy dog and they need to be ok with her giving kisses and sleeping on my bed 3. Kind respectful man! Kindness is so attractive. I am 5’8 I look like this: (ME) in case that doesn’t work im slender and I have blue eyes and brown hair. As you might know, one of my hobbies is fan fic writing but I also LOVE taekwondo and in another life I would like to be a taekwondo champion! I’m an archivist and I love love reading manga and watching anime. I also have a nasty spending habit on anime merchandise (I’ve dropped 200$ on anime stuff). Physically my ideal type r muscular guys (I hate tsuki so plz not him). My dream date is snowball fight and ice skating!! If I was dating a volleyball player I’d be their biggest fan (wearing their face on a tshirt) and I hope my partner would be my biggest fan too! My love language is food :)) I hope that’s enough!

headcanons

🥛 bokuto is the unintentionally funny type

🥛 like he's supposed to be this really cool ace but actually if you search up his name it's just his fans editing all his emo modes into memes

🥛 he doesn't mind it too much though

🥛 (he probably isn't even aware that this was a thing)

🥛 but you'll definitely be laughing at his dramatics

🥛 if you're upset he'll probably go look up cheesy dad jokes and sing them to you to cheer you up

🥛 or he'll go running to the store (full on sprinting) to buy you all your favorite food

🥛 bokuto definitely would not mind your dog

🥛 he's like a dog himself lol

🥛 they'd probably have some sort of shared language

🥛 he's the type of guy who'd plant a huge kiss on her nose and just run around with her in the park

🥛 bokuto is a muscular guy, right

🥛 so if you see him you'll probably think he owns a german shepherd or another scary dog

🥛 but instead you'll just see him running around like a little kid with a goldendoodle lol

🥛 bokuto seems like a natural bed hogger

🥛 so bokuto + dog = you're probably not getting a lot of room on the bed

🥛 also bokuto is definitely kind-hearted

🥛 he's not scheming or sassy

🥛 when he sees that you're good at taekwondo he'll have a minor crisis

🥛 because he's supposed to protect you, right?

🥛 so why does he feel like you can protect him better than he can protect you?

🥛 but would very quickly realize it's cool and just admires you more

🥛 watches anime with you and dramatically reacts to everything

🥛 cheers when the protagonist wins, gasps at plot twists, cries loudly at emotional moments, etc.

🥛 imagine bokuto in a snowball fight lol

🥛 it'd be lowkey so cute

🥛 he looks for you at every game

🥛 when he sees you wearing a shirt with his face on it he just lights up

🥛 waves excitedly and probably jumps up and down to make sure you can see him, unaware the cameras are on him

🥛 you can bet he's playing his best after seeing you in the crowds

🥛 after a win he's running to you as fast as he can and scooping you up and swinging you around lol

🥛 he'd DEFINITELY be your biggest fan

🥛 comes to anything you do and for sure brings a banner

🥛 and sometimes you have to be like "not everyone brings a banner and a cowbell to [insert the occasion here]"

🥛 (also tsukki's not muscular anyway the man is a string bean lmao)

runner up for you was miya osamu!

A/N: there you go, i hope you liked it! also girl you're BEAUTIFUL 🫶

[hauntedwizardmoment]

J2 having a thriving the best solo career out of any of them but also ending up being arm candy but also like. Maybe covert pull as an industry producer is something so personal. And I am convinced his new manager that’s his endgame is also kinda Portercoded but if Porter was normal actually and people STILL can’t help but infantalizing j2 like. Did you know j2’s husband is 30 years older than him? I think we should kill that guy w hammers. And it’s like. Ok but they met when j2 was like 30+. You guys do understand this is a grownup w a career who said I wanted to fuck the old man and then did right.

YEAHHHHH j2's never escaping the infantilization. once a large contingent of the fanbase has been convinced youre babygirl you cant even get hitched to a hot generationally wealthy DILF who spoils you and eats you out within an inch of your life every night without everyone having something to say about it.

j2 kind of grows to resent and hate his fans after a while. like it's a gradual but NOTICABLE shift from the extremely parasocial "i love my fans so much you guys are my REAL family!! im gonna have my team handpick a bunch of you to invite to my home in fallinel for a secret listening session for my new album every album cycle!!" to cold detached (jace-like) "honestly dont even bother putting out a PR statement responding to these entitled cunts, just let them say whatever they want and it'll blow over. enough of them will still come to the shows and buy a tshirt anyways"

and then he retires from music to his home with his husband, only occasionally working as a producer for close friends like lucilla, j3, and j4 (i think j4 takes a long time to let him back into her life after how everything went down. and he gets it. but it hurts until she does).

and j2's husband is soooo portercoded but like you said he's normal. he's not cheating with j2, hes not comparing him to jace constantly or making him feel small and unimportant and idiotic. he just thinks j2 is sooooo hot and very sweet and he needs to be Inside him. and j2 with lots of therapy is able to severe the connection in his brain between "being cared for" and "being someone's caged pet"

[nerdyvocals]

A continuation of this post, more quotes from me and @look-at-those-niceass-rocks watching Pink Ladies together, this time episodes 4-7 (again shared with permission, and since the cast is in the house, @saveourpinks, please enjoy our unhinged dumbassery):

Principal Nicholson is a fuckin' weenie

(during Sorry to Distract) I am looking respectfully. I am looking SO respectfully. Their husband, distantly: I doubt that Me: *WHEEZE*

(During Carelessly) The true bisexual experience is not knowing which one of them you would rather be making out in the park with. (I am pan but I concur)

(@ Buddy) OH POOR FUCKING BABY, find purpose outside of your socially assigned tasks

Fucking of course his name is Leonard

Them: I would've gone fucking feral for this show in high school. Both of us, in sync: I'm going fucking feral for it now

Me: Anyway, rest in peace Cynthia Zdunowski, you would've loved they/them pronouns Them: *CHOKE*

Wally: I'm kinda hungry Them: Looks like she's kinda thirsty

(About Richie and Jane "needing to talk") That has spiked MY anxiety and I'm not even Jane. I would have been CHASING that little shit down.

(When Vaughn told Lydia to help Cynthia) I want a very sexually charged line reading session between the two of them and if I don't get it I Will Cry-- Levi, I don't like the way you're laughing right now

(Note I couldn't breathe for a Hot Minute, I forgot they somehow hadn't seen any spoilers for this show)

Richie: Jane's my girl, not my boss Them: YOu are wrong, she is both. I've seen the way you look at her I'm not a fuckin' idiot.

Me: Anytime I see Lydia or Cynthia I just embody that one quote- Did you ever watch Boy Meets World? Them: What, no? Me: Hang on, there's a quote from Shawn, I'll find it (Note it took me five minutes to find this clip, 2:00-2:09 if you're curious, but the quote is: Aw to heck with it, marry me! I live in a trailer park and I have no education but my hair does this!)

The entirety of Merely Players consisted of a stream of: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

(@ Mr. Pedo Man) You deserve beige you piece of shit

KEEP EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY AWAY FROM THIS LITERAL CHILD

(After Jane and Richie's fight) Think about the last time a boy gave her his jacket you fucking dipshit, you goddamn weenie.

(Honorable mention: Both of us replying to everything Richie said in that argument with "Yeah, it is about her, it's her life, what's wrong with her wanting an education???")

Me: I love how the most scathing insult you can think of is to call someone a weenie, are you eight? Them: It's fifties appropriate!

Vaughn: You are a revelation! Them: Yeah, she's a revelation to my fucking sexuality

Them: [Husband], they're lesbians! Husband, nowhere near the computer: I know

(Jane got more votes) HEHEHE GET FUCKED

Me: I love how quickly your opinion of this man changed from the first episode, you were ready to simp and now you hate him Them: YEAH BECAUSE i THOUGHT HE WAS NICE I WAS BAMBOOZLED AND I'M MAD ABOUT IT.

Jane and Buddy: *kiss at the end of episode 4* Them: I am going to bite his nose off

Lydia: You swallow your consonants Them: Well you were swallowing her tongue a minute ago, that probably didn't fucking help Me: *choking on drink*

(during Girl's Can't Drive): Mama I'm a Big Girl Now walked so this song could fucking RUN

Them: So when does Hazel get a jacket? Me: I have no idea what you're talking about, shut up

(After me reading them the discrepancies between the amount of Thesbians fics on AO3 to literally anything else) I am addressing this to every single person who writes in this fandom, puh-LEASE seek therapy

Me: *short rant on how I Cannot Resist a Butch in a White Tshirt* Them: I'm just obsessed with [Lydia's] robe, I wanna take it...off. [Husband]: *unintelligible* Them: THE ACTOR IS AN ADULT I CAN FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE

(after I pointed out that Lydia keeps staring out the window at the Frosty Palace like she's waiting for someone) I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Me: I have a fic for you Them: if it's more Potato, I'm down

Olivia: *slaps Richie* Them: She could wake me up like that, I wouldn't complain

I would be a 1950s housewife for Potato

Them: I am no longer simping for Richie Me: He's having a hard time right now Them: I know this, and I will resume simping later when he's done being stupid

T-Birds: *having a heart-to-heart* Them: *sniff* They're all coming over to my house and I'm making them soup and bread

Richie: I think I'm in love (one tear catches light) Both of us, Supernatural veterans: ~a single man-tear~ *FIVE MINUTES OF WHEEZING LAUGHTER*

You can find part three here!

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

ways to build confidence/appreciate your appearance

I had someone ask me how I try and build self confidence and appreciate my own appearance, and while I'm a massive hypocrite, I figured that what I wrote in response to her was a good public post. Here's my suggestions. None of them are unique, just what occurred to me:

This is obviously fraught with difficulties depending on your circumstances, but one thing that's helped me is sharing pics of my face with one of my friends who loves how I look. The way she'll boost my confidence is excellent. Obviously you probably shouldn't do that with people you barely know, or online (though this friend is online, I only showed her my face after we'd had several voice calls and stuff so I knew she's not a dodgy person) (yes it's a mutual) (I love you mutual).

Also! Wearing clothing that makes you feel attractive in whatever way. Like if there's a colour that makes your heart sing for joy over it, find that and wear that. Anything you look at and go Yes This Is Right, wear it. I have a few tshirts that I particularly like; for me, those are Strange Planet tshirts, but it'll be different for everybody. Find your own 'style', if you can - that doesn't need to be like 'replace your whole wardrobe', I'm talking 'find things you really like, and get them if you can, and wear them'. Make them, if that's something you want to do and have the opportunity to do. My wardrobe is largely op shop things, with a few that I've specifically bought, or materials I've grabbed and got my mum to make into dresses or skirts, while they're on clearance. It just takes time, sometimes.

Body neutrality is also another concept that I've seen around. I find it... not great, personally, though it helps sometimes. Your body is just that: a body. It means you can do the things you want to do. It carries a brain that you use to think. It's a body. Don't overthink it. (I do overthink it, of course, but like. we're supposed to work on not doing so lol.)

Another important one for Christians is the thing I too often forget, which is that we're loved by God. God designed us the way he designed us and he did it for a *reason*. We may not know that reason, but it was a reason. I was once told by a Christian doctor that I needed to not get in the way of God's plan for my life. I don't necessarily know God's plan for my life, but God does.

And if we're talking things like having an ED, SH or any of those nasty little rabbit holes (I say that as someone who has both), they're highly maladaptive coping mechanisms. I'm not going to say they're good ones, but they can be replaced with better coping mechanisms - that's one thing that therapy's good for, but also you can look up CBT/DBT handbooks if you want to learn some of that stuff. I know I've looked up the handbook I was given by my psych before, and found I could download it freely on the internet.

Ultimately, I think, try and find things you like about yourself - physical or not. For instance, I like my stubbornness and how competitive I can be. Those have downsides, of course, but I like them for the most part. Physically, I like the fact that I'm a ginger. I'd advise you to try and make a list of things you like about yourself, to remind you of what you do like, not just what you don't. When we're not feeling great, our brains can bombard us with all the things we do badly or perceive ourselves as doing badly. Having a concrete list can help to remind you like 'oh actually I like this thing about myself'. Remembering, too, that there are people who love us just the way we are (and God loves us too) can help. I don't know why the people who care about me do care about me, but they do and I gotta remember that.

I cannot overstate the clothing one enough, honestly. Wearing things you feel nice in is important, regardless of whether they make you look conventionally attractive (and wearing things you're comfy in will make you attractive to someone, and even wearing a potato sack, if you enjoyed it, you'd find someone who liked you wearing a potato sack).

Anyway there's the end of my list. I might add on to it later.

[limerencecalls]

So I’ve no real experience writing my own fanfic, but since I’m going through a relationship break this kinda wrote itself for my own therapy, and because why can’t Steven Grant exist in this universe for us during our post-breakups? Sigh.

Minor warnings of soft nsfw, more sensual than sexual except for the last bit. I know it ends abruptly. 😏 Maybe I’ll write more soon…

Warmth. Soft. Comfort. Safe. The fuzzy edges of wakefulness prod at your sleepy brain, your senses letting you know that you feel safe. This is wonderful, you think, and wonder why you feel this at ease. You stretch, noticing the gentle puff as the blanket slides over your bare skin.

Wait— your eyes pop open as you register that it’s not only the blanket touching you — for a confused moment you don’t remember if you’d been the one to ask or him to offer, but Steven’s there curled towards you, wearing the same thing from the night before, sound asleep.

It had been late and you’d been so exhausted, physically from the long work day and emotionally due to the barrage of spiteful texts from the ex who had been blowing up your phone all day. Blocking only helped for so long, before he made another number in an app and used it to harass you. By the time you’d been done your evening shift, the tears and anger had boiled over and you were grateful that Steven had sensed you needed a safe person to be around. So you’d asked him over to try to occupy you with takeout and tv. The moon had crept across the sky as you distracted yourself with pad Thai, a documentary about ancient Egyptian architecture, and your sweet coworker who insisted half of what the documentary person said was inaccurate.

You glance down at yourself now and see that your shirt has come up during your sleep, exposing your stomach and breasts to the smoothness of the blanket. It often happens, but knowing he stayed the night makes you feel embarrassed in case he was still awake to notice it happen. But he’s asleep now.

You watch him for a moment, grateful he stayed. Then, as you reach up to pull your shirt down, you feel a small stirring in the depth of your belly that causes you to stop. The feeling rapidly growing, you instead reach out to his white tshirt and gently tug it upwards so that his torso and chest are bare also, letting your gaze trickle over the gentle ridges and valleys that rise and fall in time with his breath.

He doesn’t seem to sense as you inch close to him. You hesitate a moment, but the desire to breath in his scent and to smell of him overrides that pause quickly. Raising up on one elbow, you lean towards him tentatively, watching his face for any sign of waking. Then slowly, deliberately, you press your bare self to him, sighing as you feel your breasts squish against his skin. His warmth radiates over you, coaxing out a bit more confidence and a surge of longing.

But— he lies blissful in sleep, unaware. As much as you want to lean in and start kissing down his body, you hold yourself back. After all, he just spent the whole night and didn’t try anything. Maybe he isn’t attracted to you. It would be wrong to assume he did and wake him up in an awkward and compromising way.

Then again, your shirt had been lifted up. Maybe that was him? Your eyes trail down to where your fingers are tracing the edge of his sweatpants. Curious things with a mind of their own. They brush down with intention and you stifle a groan as they edge the thick outline of his bulge just under the fabric. Maybe it was a bad idea to ask him to stay last night. It had been only a few weeks since the breakup, but sex had been such a frequent part of life before that and these past weeks had left you with constant unmet need.

—————-

THE END, for now 😜

[foxes-that-run]

2021 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag, or years 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023 and 2024.

2 January - Harry at Jeffs wedding with OW. Holding hands at wedding photos - the Paparazzi Clint and his partner follow Olivia to a hotel in Santa Barbara. He later does an hour long podcast on following them and explains he then realised Harry was there and takes photos. After a few phone calls, the two photographers discover rumors of a romantic relationship between Harry and Olivia. 10 minutes later, photographed them together. in Nanny tell all Nanny said Olivia was still texting Jason to say she loved him, that Olivia was pretending to not have service. Nanny found out she was at the wedding online.

3 January - walking with OW in Santa Barbara

4 January - Harry hike in LA

15 January - Ted Lasso Season 2 starts filming London, in Nanny Tell all nanny said that Ted confronted her on the plane there about her telling Olivia that Jason had been crying and not coping. Jason then offered the Nanny a life coach to get info out of her and they were attending therapy with the Nanny.

18 January - Coney Island released as a single.

14 February Olivia at Harry’s LA house with luggage. Don't worry Darling filming wraps. On the 21st Taylor Lover tour cancelled.

16 February - E News Harry and OW fly to London together. DWD wraps, Harry OW cast photo

20 February - OW near Jason Sudeikis /her kids London house

6 March - Oliva posts photo of Branston Beans from Harry's Kitchen, the curtains can be seen. Lockdown laws mean she should not have been able to travel there and was bragging about it and posting inside his house.

10 March Instead of congratulating Harry on the nomination Zayn posted “F the Grammys”

15 March -Talk at the Grammys, Taylor and Harry part of small group of attendees. Harry goes over to Taylor and they are polite, Harry seems a little awkward and says “well it was nice to see you”. He keeps looking at her during his acceptance speech for record of the year.

Taylor wrote High Infidelity and WCS with Aaron Dessner while in LA for the Grammy's, when she saw Harry & J Mayer.

Niall and Liam congratulate Harry on his Grammy win, Zayn and Louis do not.

31 March - architect of Harry’s Erskine House renovations posts photos of the interior to their website. It has a black, wood pale grey palette with pink stairs

13, -25 April - OW with Harry london

April 27 - Joe leaves UK to Belfast to film.

May 11 - HS & TS both at Brit awards (the 26th was a blood moon)

May - Harry’s bassist since HS1, Adam Pendergast, leaves love band (date from his LinkedIn)

20 May - Harry and Olivia dinner at Refuel Bar & Restaurant at The Soho Hotel. ET Rumours Joe and Taylor engaged.

15 June - Harry seen with fans wearing Apollo eleven tshirt

21 June - Harry wrapped My Policeman in Italy, started in Feb. Released 1 September 2022. Holiday in Italy

2 July - renegade released

3 July - Harry at England v Ukraine game Italy

8 July - Harry and Olivia on yacht and in Italy

26 July - Charlotte Clarke (Harry’s backup singer) said she was let go and doesn’t understand why. won’t be on HSLOT

28 July - Taylor posts for folklore' anniversary, "It’s been one year since we escaped the real world together and imagined ourselves someplace simpler." with a photo from Donegal Ireland. Heavily TTPD coded with Victorian gown, like the Betty speech’s on eras tour and lakes (poets), two coffee cups too, was it already a double album?! Coffee also as in the end of the Karma MV. Joe posted photos from the same trip on July 22nd

9 August - 26 August Harry in studio maybe mixing Harry's House in the behind scenes photos here you can see outfits he wore in LA on these dates.

4 September – 22 July 2023 - Love on Tour, Harry has a new bassist Elin Sandberg

7 September - Taylor in Belfast visiting Joe. Red TV entirely recorded at Kitty Committee Belfast UK (her home)

9 September - Taylor at Toronto Film Festival and to premiere all too well

11 September - Harry at Toronto Film Festival to premiere My policeman, talks about wasted time being the worst thing in presser

17 September - wildest dreams TV released, TikTok about recording Red TV and a glitch. Harry and Olivia in Phili with Xander, max and family

May 11 - HS & TS both at Brit awards (the 26th was a blood moon)

May - Harry’s bassist since HS1, Adam Pendergast, leaves love band (date from his LinkedIn)

May 24 - Joe and Taylor together in Paris

3 June - Harry OW her parents London

21 June - Harry wrapped My Policeman in Italy, started in Feb. Released 1 September 2022.

30 June - H Holiday in Italy

2 July - renegade released

8 July - Harry and Olivia on yacht and in Italy

13 July - Jason sudokis GQ that he still doesn’t know why they broke up and it ended in November 2020. Harry mentioned.

14 July - HSLOT announced for September

26 July - Charlotte Clarke (Harry’s backup singer) said she was let go and doesn’t understand why. won’t be on HSLOT

7 August - OW and Harry had guests at house, Harry has moustache and greets someone.

9 August - 26 August Harry LA in studio maybe mixing Harry's House in the behind scenes photos here you can see outfits he wore in LA on these dates. Walking with Olivia 19 August

31 August - Taylor and Joe hiking Franklin Canyon

4 September – 22 July 2023 - Love on Tour, Harry has a new bassist Elin Sandberg. OW at first show.

7 September - Taylor in Belfast visiting Joe. Red TV entirely recorded at Kitty Committee Belfast UK (her home)

9 September - Taylor at Toronto Film Festival and to premiere all too well

10 September - Harry golfing in Dallas

11 September - Harry at Toronto Film Festival to premiere My policeman, talks about wasted time being the worst thing in presser

17 September - wildest dreams TV released, TikTok about recording Red TV and a glitch. Harry and Olivia in Phili with Xander, max and family

18 September - Harry seen with Olivia near her parents in DC before show there

22 September - first heart kiss since 2018! St Paul - Falling, with Two Ghosts intro (4:31). Then again weekly till the end of the year

25 September - Taylor London Lena's wedding.

29 September - & 1 Oct Harry played Nashville and wore a white satin outfit, he played with his rings while performing Beautiful. Harry plays To Be so Lonely for 9 shows then never again, including Nashville N2 and NY. In Nashville looks up. OW at shows

3 October - OW parents at HSLOT but she is in LA.

9 October - Harry in Florida dinner

13 October - fan sends to DM that they saw Harry, no OW at Pittsburgh cathedral of learning with “more police and security than I knew existed” wouldn’t have recognised him if it wasn’t for them.

16 October - Harry wore “all things must pass” hoodie NYC OW walked awkwardly holding him. One security person.

22 October - one more photo of Taylor and joe in the bathroom leaked (the proper selfie), photos from 2016 leaked in 2020

25 October - Harry seems to be in a bad mood when he first goes on stage in Boston, also wearing no rings. Heart kiss in Falling, OW there and not seen with him until harryween in a week.

26 October - Taylor posts TikTok "Autumn Lovers RISE" as a reenactment of a 27 September 2017 Tumblr post. She writes lyrics to ATW "just between us did the love affair maim you" "and Plaid stuff and ankle boots" she's wearing a skirt but says 'stuff' plaid shirts and ankle Chelsea boots is Harry in 2011-2013. And "Maroon/Hunter Green" The ATW move included a book coming out 13 years later about the love affair.

30 October - Harry dressed as Dorothy at harryween MSG NY, Olivia as Dolly Parton posted photos with exercise bike and boobs

1 November - rumors Harry and OW fighting

10 November - heart kiss in falling. Tumblr anon said about OW “I was working at the venue in Sacramento when he played during LOT. Her backstage privileges were revoked after the show prior to that...which was..I think...Portland. Our backstage security was instructed to not allow her backstage under any circumstances. She didn't even arrive to the venue with him. From what I understood from Sacramento through the end of that tour her security access was no more than say..contest winners..radio personalities etc. I was shocked at the time that they lasted another year since there was clearly trouble in paradise.”

11 November - Harry has a bruise on his back I. Love on tour backstage photo

12 November - Red TV released Harry wears red in his show on the 11th. All Too Well Short Film premiere Dylan O'Brien (who is in ATW film) is included in this footage of Austin and Dylan cheering when Jack plays Question..? in the Studio. Appears on Fallon and says she easter eggs 3 years in advance in reference to ATW.

16 November - Pleasing launch with Harry on bike photo on cover of Dazed

17 November – Taylor leaves NYC for Panama to go see Joe. Taylor posts a drunk TikTok from Panama. On the 20th she went to the national theater and leaves on the 22nd. Joe stays and films. Midnights written while gone

21 November - Last time Taylor is photographed in public for 3 months is the SNL performance for All too Well

25 November Rolling Stone noted the Haylor call and response “the long-running songwriting badminton between her and Harry Allegedly is pop call-and-response the way it ought to be”

28 November- 13 December Harry MIA. after his shows. OW seen alone in LA

1 December Taylor wore Gucci lion ring to Zoe’s kravitz birthday throwback photo shared day after YLM date identified by Jack.

5 December - You're losing me written. Love on Tour in Buenos Aires

28 December - Harry and OW Italy. Fans post they saw them Hampstead NYE, no photos.

Continue to 2022

[ineed-to-sleep]

9. Are they based off of you, in some way? 

(ofc i had to select the most fun ask on the list lmao)

I JUST KNOW THIS QUESTION IS GONNA OBLITERATE ME. THANK YOU

Ok so uhm. All of them kind of are. Like fjdjkf they all carry parts of me and I like to have something in my ocs that I can fundamentally understand or else I just never go anywhere with them 🫠 so they all have Something

Nawen has a lot of my own pettiness nfnfjdkd and her response to stressful situations(by shutting down and becoming very robotic) mirrors my own. Her pefectionism is also like, the part of myself that still struggles with perfectionism, but amped up to 100

Pepper has a lot of my anger dumped on her fjkfkdk she's a very cathartic character for me bc she lets out a lot of what I tend to repress. I'm mortified of my anger scaring the people I love irl, and whenever I let it out I always have to make it funny or lighthearted somehow. But pepper doesn't have to do that. She gets to literally tear people to pieces and still be loved and understood. So. Yeah. I'm ok I swear

And vincent is. Oof. Vincent has so many of the issues I've had fjfjkckckckkd my beautiful son who has every disease <3 he's depressed, anxious, pessimistic, and socially reserved because of trauma and repression, which are all problems I've dealt with heavily in the past before working through them in therapy. He's sort of my way to look back at myself with empathy and go hey look. It's ok that I felt that way. I just needed patience and love and safety, like he does. Also a lot of pieces in his wardrobe are based on my own jfjfkdkkd the shoes I've drawn him in are all shoes I personally wear, and a lot of the styling is similar too(like tucked in tshirts with high waisted jeans+belt. One of the outfits I've drawn him in is basically identical to one I wear sometimes fnckkc)

All of my ocs have something in general but these guys are the ones currently floating in my brain so djjfjdkd

[luka-couffaine-ship-tournament]

Semifinals 4

(Round 3 Side B Pair 2)

CAMPAIGN

Luka Couffaine/Marc Anciel

I can see these two having met before canon and being friends or dating each other. They have a similar rocker style of dressing. Maybe they went to the same charity shop and found band tshirts and CDs. Also Luka has a tendency of supporting super shy anxious people like his sister, and Marc is anxious when he first appears. I can totally see them being exes who stay on good terms or who get back together later.

-Luka/Marc had 33 works on AO3

Luka Couffaine/Therapy

-Therapy... so much therapy

-As much as I ship Lukadrinette and all its sides, Luka/Therapy should 100% win, lol

TAG:

Luka - Twitter @Karma_sensei_

Luka/Marc: @bernicedoodles

@lukacouffaineappreciation

[turtlesocksv2]

Kinnporsche Rewatch 11 Thoughts

VegasPete Trailer Thoughts: i can't stop laughing about how pretentious it is, with the violins and the wine and the lighting but i also can't deny that it fits Vegas perfectly and it definitely works 👀

Gun is very upset at Vegas "I told you to watch Porsche not to hurt him!" just whyyyyyy are they so obsessed with Porsche but give no fucks about Chay? If it was only about Nampheung Feelings they'd care about Chay at least a little! I need answers!

You know it's bad when the guy you were actively torturing 2 minutes ago takes one look at you after a visit from your dad and is like "....damn, you ok over there?" despite himself.

Kinn's little "SHIT! PETE! That's what I forgot!" is so funny. BUT to be fair to Kinn, which i guess we must be,he very clearly had reservations! something did not feel right, the vibes were all wrong! it was, in fact, Porsche who was the stupid idiot here.

Tankhun reading Kinn for filth is so funny. "being a bodyguard is dangerous for porsche? you're the one who hired him! Do you want him to just stay home and make flower garlands all day?!" Tankhun my beloved, what exactly is Pol's job and what does he do all day again? just wondering.

But also, don't get distracted by Tankhun's delight at Kinn confessing his love of Porsche. Watch Korn's face. He is not pleased. But like, he already knew they were banging. He knew immediately after the first time, and they were not subtle after they actually got together. So Korn Been Knew this entire time. But feelings! Feelings that Kinn will admit out loud! well, that's something different. What is a little light (foster) cousin fucking between mafia members? but feelings go Too Far. They can't be controlled. But boy does he take advantage of it, telling Porsche to stay as Kinn's boyfriend and he can move Chay in, too. How easily Porsche is atticwifed!

LMAO @ all the bodyguards listening in. Pol and Arm are secretly drama loving gossips and that is why they thrive under Tankhun's authority. And Chan has his gun out, looming threateningly. The look he gives the bodyguards when they storm in, cheering about the Victory of Love.

Vegas is just as trapped in the safe house as Pete is and he knows it!

Second glimpse of VIP Character, best boy Khun Spikes! Vegas having a pet hedgie is honestly...the best. great character work.

Chan's face as Porsche introduces the new bodyguards is priceless. I love him. I will miss him when he bites it.

jealous of Chay's snoopy hoodie tbh.

I need to know more about Mama Theerapanyakul. We know she was 'disrespectful' aka mouthy, we know she blowdried kinn's hair, and presumably she was musically inclined. tell us more.

Pete "Your Dad Fucking Sucks" Saengtham. Pete "I bring a real Kill Your Father energy to the table that Gun doesn't really like" Saengtham. Vegas has 10 seconds of therapy and his entire world is shattered. amazing.

Vegas wears flannel pants and a tshirt to sleep when he's not putting on a show.

Pete's weakness is noodles and like...same. #relatable