#will graham gets hitched in the BSHCI

[stripydottycat]

Will knew that long term prisoners often got admirers. Hell, some even married in prison! So Will was pleasantly surprised to get a visit from a sultry blonde woman who whispered “I want your body” in a most seductive manner

Alright!

What was Chilton’s take on conjugal visits?

Chilton had struck out with the sultry blonde multiple times. He decided to allow a conjugal visit but only after putting Will on a cocktail of drugs known to cause erectile dysfunction. Revenge is best served with pharmaceuticals.

Although the problem wasn’t so much erectile dysfunction as an inability to finish. Will didn’t mind a little bit of edging, or even a medium amount. But total inability to finish was very frustrating. It was only when when Jackie (Will was sure that was not the woman’s real name but he really didn’t care) called him “a good boy, a very good boy, the best boy” that he spurted all over her hand. She ran her (clean) left hand through Will’s hair as he panted against the bars, then departed immediately.

Hannibal visited not half an hour later.

Will was lying on his bed, daydreaming of Jackie & being the very best boy. Hannibal stood outside the bars, entirely still, apart from his nostrils which were going off like a frog in a sock. Clearly…..Will had recently had a successful climax……with a….woman…..with BEDELIA. He grabbed the bars separating him from Will so hard his knuckles went white, & the bars creaked slightly as he pulled on them in his fury.

“WHO WAS SHE!!! WHICH SLUTTY BITCH WHORE DEMON HAS TOUCHED YOU?”

Will was pulled out of his pleasant daydream rather abruptly by the hitherto unknown experience of being being shouted at by Hannibal. He sat up on his bunk, blinking. Why was Hannibal so angry?

His pendulum started madly swinging about all over the place, trailing little glittery love hearts in its wake.

Oh.

“Hannibal….are you…in love with me?”

Of course Hannibal knew Dr Sluttybitch’s smell very well, having had therapy sessions with her twice a week for years, but he wanted to hear Will say it himself. Plus Hannibal couldn’t quite believe Dr Bitchface would be so brazen as to touch his best boy. Hannibal certainly knew what he would be having for dinner the rest of that week & it was Bedelia Bitchslutwhore bolognaise.

“Hannibal?”

His recipe plans were interrupted by the quavering tone of Will, who was now standing quite close to the bars, though not quite close enough to touch.

Will asked again “Are you in love with me, Hannibal?”

Hannibal was lost for words for a moment. Should he declare his feelings for Will now? Having just yelled (ugh, so unbecoming; he hadn’t yelled since he was a surgeon, when he was an accomplished yeller - regularly made junior doctors shit themselves with fear, especially when the yell was followed by an accurately thrown scalpel) he felt quite sheepish, and vulnerable. He paused before replying simply “yes”.

Will’s mouth twisted with displeasure.

“Well that’s a bit unfortunate, Hannibal. Jackie and I …Jackie & I got married last week.”

At that point Will pulled something out of his pocket, & Hannibal noticed the gold wedding ring on his ring finger. Will handed the piece of paper to Hannibal though the bars. Hannibal snatched it off him & stared in disbelief at the image. Will, in a black prison onesie with a white tshirt visible at the neck, & a clearly very poor quality black bow tie, holding the hands through the bars of “Jackie” aka Dr Bedelia Whoreslag Du Maurier who was wearing a puffy sleeved white lace & crystal wedding dress (very poor taste, ugly as hell). She looked very happy, as did Will.

Hannibal started to tremble.

Will handed him another photograph, of “JACKIE” kissing Will through the bars.

Hannibal started to feel tight in the chest. He leaned against the bars, then felt himself slide to the floor. He rolled onto his back & decided he was definitely having a heart attack, or his heart had broken, or possibly both.

Will crouched down close to the bars, a malicious grin on his face.

“See, see?” He hissed at Hannibal. “This is my design.”

Hannibal clutched at his chest, & the World narrowed to a long tunnel, with a bright light at the end…

Hannibal gasped & sat up in bed, clammy & pulse pounding. Will, in bed beside him, placed a hand on his shoulder, and said in a concerned tone of voice “Are you ok?”

Hannibal turned to look at him, nodding before lying down to snuggle up to Will. “Merely a spectre of the past playing a game. Tell me Will, how many times did Dr Du Maurier visit you in the BSHCI?”

Will squinted. “Just the once, when she said she believed me.”

“And she was the only woman to visit you, apart from Alana?”

Will was quiet for a moment, then blushed. “Well there was this woman called Jackie…..”