#theme: womanhood

[aphrodites-serenade]

An apology to— myself

Oh body of mine, how I've battered you.

And yet you still make sure my heart beats.

–

I promise you over and over that I'll get better.

I'm sorry, I say, I can't help the way I think. 

–

I pick this body apart, piece by piece, as if it'll change anything 

And as if I can rearrange anything. 

Why couldn't you have been shaped like those other girls, I ask, looking at the mirror.

–

I've put you through terrible outbursts of mine. 

And you suffer the most due to my self-consciousness.

–

With time, my body will grow tired of me. 

It will give out, like every other body. 

It can work as hard as it can, but it can not keep me young. 

–

But for now, my body refuses to give up on me. 

It tries to make everything work despite my constant blunders.

–

It's too kind, really.

I gave up on myself a long time ago.

[araekniarchive]

@seravph​, I Think I Am Going To Cut My Hair

Interview with the Vampire (1994) dir. Neil Jordan, script by Anne Rice

Gone Girl (2014) dir. David Fincher

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005-2008), 3x16: Sozin’s Comet

Jacqueline Wilson, Vicky Angel

Gülten Akın, ‘I Cut My Black Hair’ from What Have You Carried Over?

Laurence Price, The Famous Flower of Serving-Men (traditional English language ballad, c. 1656)

Regina Spektor, Samson

Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig

@seravph​, I Think I Am Going To Cut My Hair

[daisywords]

thinking about this post but also it's more than that. do you ever think about how stories starring men are allowed to be about humanity but stories starring women have to be about Womanhood

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Being obsessed with Bl*e eye samurai while being normal about gender makes the fandom so unbearable

[insummerigrieve]

“You must be the loneliest girl I've ever seen.”

[piecesbythestars]

“frankenstein,” a poem about women’s suffering

normalized in medicine, glorified in pornography, justified in religion. since we birth people, does this mean we birthed the society that causes and trivializes our agony?

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Pluralities

sci-fi novella

a burned out 20-something with premonitions has a gender-questioning journey, after quitting their job and becoming friends with benefits with a trans guy

with a parallel narrative about a runaway alien prince in a space empire and his complicated friendship with his sentient spaceship friend

audiobook arc from netgalley!

[katyspersonal]

What's your interpretation that the left hand of cleric beast is much bigger that the right?🤔

Well, like I've pointed out before, the only explanation I am seeing is blood ministration being done on the left arm!

However, this might get a little more interesting with the Cleric Beasts, because Emilia is also one, yet her arms are symmetrical!

My closest guess to why it happened is because of something Healing Church has been known to do with female bodies. Namely - do some sort of surgery/manipulation/operation on them in order to change their blood type into 'holy blood' one, which they are able to share with the hunters!

English localization team had to use term "groomed" instead of whatever this actually says, and this is definitely going into top 10 of my biggest headaches with mistranslations! As you can see from the Japanese script retranslation ( x ), the meaning is more literal, implying a procedure. I always felt like it would be a surgery on bone marrow, since this is where blood cells are produced, and doctors in Bloodborne could have learned to alter them into having impossible type of blood!

So, as a female cleric, Amelia might have had her first communion with the holy blood as a Blood Saint, instead of generic blood ministration treatment like apparently everyone else has!

I am still not sure why female staff specifically was the Blood Saints, since apparently blood vials are not menstrual blood, as we can learn thanks to Adeline:

Maybe it could have something to do with menstrual cycle, though, because of the whole cycle of moon vs menstrual cycle thing, and Laurence being affiliated with Moon Presence, and then Micolash also stealing his swag and basing his own institution on:

I'd say this is either some sort of deeply rooted superstition within the setting, or in fact, yes, the holy blood links to the Great Ones who put HELLA importance on blood and birth, so being biologically female is crucial for that link to take intended effects.

Ludwig is an interesting case, though! He was SUPPOSED to have blood ministration too, like Laurence or Cleric Beast of the Bridge! Why would not the first Healing Church hunter and the HEAD of their hunters do something so crucial? Especially since Cleric Beast of the Bridge drops the Sword Badge with which you buy Hunter Chief Emblem, implying that this beast is currently what Ludwig used to be? But his left arm is not bigger. In fact, it is even smaller. So I am trying to think of the variants of what had happened here:

1) Ludwig somehow merged with an actual horse, so his anatomy is simply no longer judged through the same lense

2) Ludwig is a leftie, and this is where he holds his Holy Moonlight Sword, so its effect would be a "remedy" for possible arm deformations

3) Ludwig is not a simple beast, but the one with a lot of Kin features, so his anatomy is simply no longer judged through the same lense (+horses are primarily herbivores, and Kin is associated with the flora in the setting, so maybe that's why he went horsegirl mode instead of getting something weak like antlers lol)

4) Ludwig is trans and actually was the first to get Blood Saint treatment rather than regular blood ministration (+we take Adeline's blood from her right arm, and notice that his right arm is a little bigger)

5) Ludwig is a cis man and was the first biological male who attempted to receive Blood Saint treatment instead of regular blood ministration, but that didn't take the intended effect because the gods Be Like That in the setting + his unusual visions and mutation might be the side effect of that and that's why Healing Church stopped doing that with male organisms. Basically, if a male attempts becoming a living factory for the holy blood, it will go "wrong".

6) Combinations of the above points

.....Okay, that went a little unfocused from the initial topic, but you see my points here! Thank you for the ask!

_________________

Bonus ideas:

- Whereas Ludwig is holding the Holy Moonlight Sword in his left hand, Amelia also is grasping the Gold Pendant in her left hand. So maybe nothing was special about her, but holding a special item in the "effected" hand will remedy the asymmetry effect, and had Amelia not been doing that all the time, she'd be asymmetrical too?

- Amelia using recolored model for Bell-Ringing Woman for her appearance might be not accidental, but a fuel for the headcanon that she has Pthumerian blood too, and Pthumerians might simply evolve differently, or traditionally have different way they' go for the blood communition. Off the top of my head, look at Loran Clerics having same sized arms:

Basically, I can answer why Cleric Beasts and the huntsmen have asymmetrical arms, but not why people like Emilia and Ludwig broke the trend despite being the first in line to have blood ministration normally... Because I just have too many ideas, and my preference usually falls towards the most logical ones, but when there are equally logical ideas I become helpless :')

[weusedtobegiants]

I didn’t want to become the kind of woman who is always nervous but I didn’t want to become my mother either.

Olivia Gatwood, from Life of the Party

[randomwriteronline]

She sat on the side of the pier much like a poleyn in front of a ship, gazing out into the dark waters before her. Starlight slid off of her mask to coat its silvery sheen in a cyanotic hue; the waves murmured around her.

"Hi," she called out.

"Oh," Hahli replied: "Hey. I didn't expect you to hear me from that far."

Krakua turned to gift her a half-lid smile: "Bold of you."

"Yeah, I should have known better," the Ga-Toa laughed softly. She closed the distance between them and sat beside her, dipping her feet in the water to kick aimlessly - noticing the other kept her own just outside of it, perched on the wood.

The sea did most of the talking for a while, eager to chew their ears off with its slow babbling tales.

They simply enjoyed it.

"Do you like it?" Krakua asked then. "Water, I mean. Your element."

Hahli smiled: "Of course."

"Does it make it easier?"

"To do what?"

"To command it."

She had to pause at that, realizing she'd never even thought about such a thing before. At last, she shrugged: "I guess it has to be like that, yes. It would be pretty hard to handle something so large and shifting otherwise, wouldn't it?"

Her companion hummed: "A matter of waves..."

"You'd be familiar with that, eh?" Hahli snickered. She counted the little hissing giggle that left Krakua as a personal victory.

The sea curled around her feet.

"Helryx said it didn't matter," Krakua mused. "Neither if she liked it nor if it helped."

"Sounds like the sort of answer that avoids the question entirely."

"It was, I guess. I think she didn't like Water."

"Really?"

"I'm always humming and making noise... I like listening to things. I've never seen the waves so much as graze her whenever she was in reach of them."

She heard Hahli huff in disbelief.

She rolled her neck, healthy eye closed: "She was very old," she noted casually: "Maybe she'd grown bored of it."

"Maybe," her friend replied.

There were so many stars.

Even more than the ones inside the Great Spirit Robot.

Their sheer number was enough to make one feel minuscule; then again, if there were so many, there must have been just as many planets, with just as many minuscule people on them, going about their own minuscule lives, worrying about their own minuscule problems that seemed so large to someone of their size; and so the vast emptiness between them was filled a little, and being so small in the face of it didn't feel that bad.

"How's it like being female?"

Krakua gave Hahli a funny look: "I thought you were female too."

She shrugged: "I am," she replied, "But I've been that ever since I remember - and even before that! Maybe there's some parts of it I didn't notice."

It was the De-Toa's turn to pause, deep in thought. A soft song arose from her fingers as she tapped them against the wooden pier.

"It's similar enough," she concluded. "But I'm a little happier."

Mixed with the waves, the melody droned on.

Without any warning Hahli suddenly pulled her legs back out of the water; she pulled herself up, stood for a moment, hunched her back, flattened her fins, bent her knees, pushed her arms forward, and dived into the sea as seamlessly as a raindrop melts into a puddle, only a quiet splash to mark her disappearance.

Her Faxon emerged again a couple bio further. Krakua's forever half-lid eye searched for her in the dark without finding her.

"Over here," the Ga-Toa called out.

Sulfur lights squinted in the vague direction of her voice. After a beat, her friend gave a soft 'oh!' and waved.

"Wanna come in?" she offered. "It's not that cold."

Her fins flicked lazily as she watched Krakua consider her options briefly before nodding: she sank into the liquid mass in a way that Hahli could have only compared to how a sharpened knife slips into an already opened wound, without a noise, carefully, until her black and metal body was completely gone and all that remained was her silver mask bobbing like an apple on the waves. The the De-Toa turned around, to face the sky, and began kicking gently to swim towards her.

The other met her halfway: "Use your arms too," she suggested, "You'll take forever otherwise."

"I'm not that good a swimmer anyways," Krakua smiled.

"Hold on, then." with a swift motion, Hahli positioned herself beneath her so that her knees would catch her friend's armpit, pulling her along in her body's stead and offering somewhere to lay on. "Wouldn't want the others to chew me out for messing your prosthetics because I made you strain them."

All set, she began to swim backwards, away from the shore, while the other looked out to the starry sky.

Nights like these made Hahli bemoan not having a Ruru.

It had never seemed like an overly useful mask before, when she wasn't amphibious: it was more convenient than having to find a lightstone, but not much else. But now, now that the entire ocean was within reach at all times of the day, she really wished she could peek at its night life and find fish she would have never gotten to see otherwise to swim among them until she was too tired to keep her eyes open, hurrying back on land as soon as morning came to tell Marka all about them.

Perhaps Tuaraga Vakama would have indulged her little whim, if she asked nicely...

A reply came from outside her thoughts: "I'm sure he'd be happy to."

"You think?"

"Can't see why not."

"Hm... I'll try then. Tomorrow."

Her fins brushed through the water at a relaxed, steady rhythm. The tune buzzing in her friend's chest had grown slightly, with a bit of trial and error so smooth that she hadn't even noticed the changes until the raspy voice had brought her attentioback to the sounds.

The waves were getting smaller, rolling gently along their bodies as they passed through them.

"I used to be dead scared of the sea," Krakua mused.

"Why's that?"

"Sound propagates faster in water, and the ocean's full of both. If I'd fallen in as a Matoran I would've died of shock so fast I wouldn't even have had the time to drown."

The song continued in the silence that followed.

Hahli felt the Suletu nuzzle her stomach: "Becoming a Toa took care of that," her friend reassured her. "Now I can like the sea."

"And do you like it?"

"Yes."

The Ga-Toa looked down at her, finding her peaceful gaze back to the millions of shining lights above them.

She also noticed the much closer shore lights were now pinpricks.

"Oop - that's a bit too far. Let's get back."

They swam back to the pier at the same slow pace, almost thunking their heads against the wood as they were too caught up in the music and firmament to look at where they were going; Hahli jumped on it first, helping Krakua out of the water by almost lifting her.

They walked to shore slowly, enjoying the cool air.

[oflgtfol]

theyre literally not searching for foreign life in interstellar though like theyre quite literally looking for planets that may be habitable for human beings. if there’s life already there is irrelevant other than that it could be a sign for human habitability. theyre quite literally not even thinking about aliens at all

[aphrodites-serenade]

Think of me, a woman

My parents may have left their parents, siblings, and friends behind,

But they can not leave their old ways of thinking behind.

–

No matter what I accomplish,

My goals are scrutinized to the point that I don't bring them up anymore.

My existence is degraded and reduced because of the simple fact that I am a woman.

–

People with no knowledge of me think I should retire from my aspirations.

They'll list an "appropriate" title for me: Mother, maid, wife,

And demand me to be happy with only that.

–

Oh mother, you know I'm too boisterous to stay at home.

I am too disinterested in men to ever serve a “husband.”

And having children terrifies me to my core.

–

Regardless of where I end up,

I ask that when you visualize my future,

you look at me first.

Don't think of a man.

[araekniarchive]

Are We There Yet?

by Bianca Beneduci Assad

[neptunesenceladus]

thinking about Themes and Motifs and how Tone can be conveyed through the layout of the page

[gods-favorite-autistic]

why does this video essay on Silence of the Lambs have a Raid Shadow Legends sponsorship 😭😭

[sifutoph]

need us to stop being a silly little guy for one second and acknowledge that t0ph is rude and it isn't some funny trait. it's a flaw. its a reaction, sure, because her whole life she'd needed to play the part of being the obedient little girl and her rudeness is a result of wanting to affirm her independence and probs as a legitimate way to exercise her confidence and/or to go about her establishing boundaries or things she didn't like, but it's still a huge flaw.