#but they do have similar themes of identity and running away from your current life to find yourself

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Pluralities

sci-fi novella

a burned out 20-something with premonitions has a gender-questioning journey, after quitting their job and becoming friends with benefits with a trans guy

with a parallel narrative about a runaway alien prince in a space empire and his complicated friendship with his sentient spaceship friend

audiobook arc from netgalley!

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

Australian & New Zealand Author Showcase No 20 – Luke Arnold

February 9, 2024 by Charlie Cavendish

An idea squeezed into my head in 2023, after seeing so many of the book community gathering at conventions across the US and UK. And once my FOMO subsided, I got to thinking about who might be gathered together if we had similar conventions closer to home. Pending the master planning required to arrange a massive convention, I thought the next best thing might be to run an Australian & New Zealand author showcase. So, I sent out the call, with the only prerequisite for participating being the author had to have been born in either country or currently live there.

Its now 2024 and the Aussie / New Zealand Author Showcase is gathering steam again. Just when I thought it was over even more talent has emerged, at this rate its threatening to become year long event! I will continue to post their individual showcases at regular intervals. So hopefully you will enjoy these interactions with some very talented people. Please be sure to check out their work, sign up to their newsletters and follow them on their social media of choice. I make no apologies for any damage inflicted to your TBR’s!

Showcase No 20 finds me chatting with very talented Luke Arnold. Luke is the award-winning actor from projects such as Black Sails, Glitch and Never Tear Us Apart: The Untold Story of INXS as well as the author of The Fetch Phillips Archives; a series of fantastical detective stories which has third instalments to date.

Do you feel that being an Aussie / Kiwi (or residing there) influences your writing?

Absolutely. I didn’t leave Australia until I was in my twenties so, for better or worse, I was brought up with a distinctly Australian outlook. It’s something that can be easily mischaracterised and also requires some distance to properly understand. Being both a young and old country, we’re still finding ourselves, experiencing growing pains, and struggling with our identity.

At the same time, isolation and an abundance of natural resources means a lot of us are able to benefit from a high quality of life without working as hard as we’d need to in many other places in the world. I think a lot of Aussies know this in their bones, and it makes us nervous of “rocking the boat” for fear that we might lose the advantages we have.

This aversion to change has some embarrassing repercussions on relationships between European Australians and Australia’s First Nations People, as well as our treatment of immigrants and asylum seekers.

We have a different kind of national identity to other western countries like the USA or Britain. We’re still trying to play the underdog – the little colony down under that punches above its weight – but that persona no longer fits us the way it used to. These themes seep into all my work.

Fetch Phillips may have the outward appearance of a classic American hard-boiled hero, but he has an Australian heart. He’s someone who feels separate, a bit ignorant, reticent to become a leader, and happy to defer to those he sees as being older and more experienced. He values being humble and self-effacing, but there is safety in that identity.

It allows him to shirk responsibility and hide in the shadows, even when it should be his moment to step forward. He’s a man who didn’t grow up when he was supposed to and is struggling to come of age too late. I feel like Australia is going through the same thing.

What are some of the challenges being located so far away from the rest of the world, do have any tips for overcoming these?

When I was first trying to get published, I was lucky in that I was already working overseas and had some profile from my acting career. That’s a clear advantage I don’t take lightly. Though I’d always wanted to write, the thing that pushed me to finish my first manuscript was a desire to spend more time at home. My acting career was reaching a point where every job was in a different city, and I wanted to know that I could keep working creatively without needing to get on a plane. There are numerous advantages to being creative in Australia.

One thing that is easily overlooked is that we have more safety nets that some other countries. I really notice this when I’m in the US. It’s terrifying to have no money in America. Of course, cost of living is going up everywhere, but I still think there are more ways to find a balanced life in Australia where you can keep a roof over your head and be creative at the same time. Yes, it’s a smaller market and it can be hard to break out overseas, but if the goal is to live a creative life where you do the thing you love without panicking that someone’s going to kick you out on the street, this is one of the best places in the world to establish yourself.

Personally, I know I couldn’t have survived as a young actor long enough to build my career without the support systems that Australia offers.

3. How do you go about establishing connections in the book community? (any tips / suggestions)

I’m terrible at this. My first two novels came out in 2020 when we were all locked inside, and I’ve only met a handful of other authors in person. So of course, social media is a huge asset.

I mostly rely on creatives I’ve known for a long time. Every couple of weeks, I catch up with an author friend, Steven Lochran, I’ve known since high school, and we read each other’s stuff and discuss what we’re working on. I have a number of other people, some writers some not, who I use as beta readers when they have the time.

Finding your own colleagues that you trust and feel comfortable to share your work with is more important than trying to network your way onto tables with notable people in the industry. If you do good work, then that will happen naturally.

4. Do you have a favourite character to write? And conversely are there any of your characters that are the more of a struggle?

Fetch is fun because he still surprises me. There’s a lot of me in him, and he’s dumb enough that I can stuff my own fears and ideas into his head and have him try and make sense of things. It’s always harder when I have to write someone more intelligent – someone who might have the answers he seeks – because then I need to get ahead of my own pondering and come to some conclusions. Perhaps that’s why everyone is fallible in my world, and even those who seem to have the answers will likely fall to pieces before the end of the story.

5. So aliens finally reveal themselves to us and your work is presented to them as example of what humanity has to offer, what do you hope they will take away from this intergalactic exchange?

I hope they’d see that we’re flawed, confused, vulnerable little things, and yet we keep trying to be better. Individually and collectively. My books are noir in tone, but the point isn’t to say that we’re all broken and corrupt. It’s about celebrating the way we keep trying to be good, even in the face of terrible darkness. Even when we’ve made mistakes that should he unforgivable. Even when the pressure – both without and within – feels like it’s going to crush us. Hopefully, if they’re looking at the state of things right now, it might help them see that we’re not completely lost.

6. Tell us something about yourself that not many people know?

In this relentlessly online world, it’s hard to think of something that isn’t already out there. So I’m trying to think of something obscure. Maybe I’ll share that I play a bit of Beat Saber in VR and I’m determined get to the top of the leader board for Billie Eilish’s Happier Than Ever (normal difficulty). I’m broken the top 100 but I’m gunning for a top ten spot.

What would you say is the best thing about being an author and the worst?

The best thing is that your work is all yours. There are very few creative endeavours out there where you can give so much of your internal world to another person. While our editors and publishers are integral, it’s not the same collaboration as making a film or playing a song with a band. This is all you.

The worst thing is that your work is all yours. You can get feedback and guidance, but it’s only your name on the cover. You must write every word, alone, without anyone encouraging you or sharing the load. Every time I write a book, I’m struck by what a monumental act of faith it is. One word after the other, day after day, for months, hoping that by the end it will be at all interesting to anyone else. Some days I can’t write a text to someone without crumbling under self-doubt, but then I have to find the motivation to pump out a few thousand words of fiction.

And at the end of it all, when someone else enjoys the finished product, they will also be alone, somewhere far away, playing out the story in their own head, and you’ll be completely oblivious to how it’s making them feel. It requires a level of self-belief that is easier to summon some days more than others.

8. Any other Aussie / Kiwi creatives you’d like to give a shout out for? (let’s spread the love)

I’m embarrassed to say that my reading really dropped off over the last year, but if you want some more noir, this time with a sci-fi twist, the 36 Streets by T.R.Napper’s is a fantastic cyberpunk story set in future Vietnam.

And I finally jumped into Maria Lewis’s The Rose Daughter and am bloody loving it.

9. What’s your favourite quote or passage from one of your books?

Shit. The ones I love one day, I cringe at the next. The chapters about Fetch’s love interest, Amari, in The Last Smile in Sunder City still hold a special place for me though. They were the first pieces I felt confident sharing with other people.

There’s a part where Fetch just lists the days they spent together. As the series continues, I have to keep returning to it to make sure that if I allude to an encounter between Fetch and Amari, it’s related to one of the occasions included in that list. It’s simple, and Fetch doesn’t include much emotion or embellishment, but every time I go back to it, that tragic romantic melancholy gets back under my skin.

9. What’s your favourite quote or passage from one of your books?

Shit. The ones I love one day, I cringe at the next. The chapters about Fetch’s love interest, Amari, in The Last Smile in Sunder City still hold a special place for me though. They were the first pieces I felt confident sharing with other people.

There’s a part where Fetch just lists the days they spent together. As the series continues, I have to keep returning to it to make sure that if I allude to an encounter between Fetch and Amari, it’s related to one of the occasions included in that list. It’s simple, and Fetch doesn’t include much emotion or embellishment, but every time I go back to it, that tragic romantic melancholy gets back under my skin.

10. What can you say about your current project or what you are planning next?

The fourth instalment of The Fetch Phillips Archives is in the editing phase, and I’m really excited to get it in people’s hands. I’ve enjoyed the fact that Fetch has not yet lived up to being either a hard-boiled detective or a fantasy hero. His guilt, self-doubt, and insecurity have taken his investigations (and in some cases the plot of the books) off the rails. That was always intentional, and I found that journey interesting to write, but Book 4 is a different beast. Fetch is still a problematic guy, but he’s put himself together enough to tackle his next case with more determination. So, for the first time, we have a more focused narrative revolving around a single string of murders. There are a lot of rewarding moments in this one for readers who were hoping Fetch might eventually catch a break.

But it’s still noir, so don’t except all sunshine and roses. Just a mystery where the main character isn’t getting in his own way quite so much.

Bonus Question:  Lastly Vegemite* yes or no?

Absolutely. Thin layer with plenty of butter. It’s not something I crave when I’m away from home but get me back in the Aussie bush and I’ll be searching for a jar in no time.

* An iconic dark salty spread that (most) Australians slap on toast for breakfast (NB explanation for the rest of the world)

Author Bio:

Luke Arnold was born in Australia and has spent the last decade acting his way around the world, playing iconic roles such as Long John Silver in the Emmy-winning Black Sails, Martin Scarsden in the screen adaptation of Chris Hammer’s Scrublands, and his award-winning turn as Michael Hutchence in the INXS mini-series Never Tear Us Apart. When he isn’t performing, Luke is a screenwriter, director and novelist.

He has published three books in The Fetch Phillips Archives, with the fourth instalment on the way. He performs the audiobooks for all his works, and The Last Smile in Sunder City was nominated for Best Fantasy at the 2021 Audie Awards.

Book/ Series Links

Social Media Links

@longlukearnold on Insta, X, and TikTok

Source: FanFi Addict

[jenojaemssss]

happier

synopsis: in which mark was happier with you.

pairing: mark x reader (i attempted to write the mc as gender neutral, so lmk if there are any tips on how to be more considerate! i wanna be able to write as inclusively as possible heh)

genre/category: angst, exes!au

word count: 2.4k

a/n: i have an assignment due in like 20 minutes (so i did not get a chance to proofread!!) but i got distracted thinking about mark while listening to my 2017 simp playlist :D so here's a mini-fic (that was supposed to be a drabble) based on this song!

I saw you walk inside a bar.

When Mark looked up from the almost-empty bottle sitting in front of him, he didn’t expect to be greeted by the sight of you. But what caught him even more off guard was that you were entering the bar hand in hand with someone new.

You, not yet noticing your past lover's hunched figure, walk towards a set of empty bar stools, another man's arms wrapped around your waist like possessive belt. Mark began to stare then. He stared at what used to be his reason. What used to be the one who'd wake him up in the morning, who used to be his reason for coming home when the days were too long, yet somehow eventually bled into nights. He continued to stare at what had been his true source of happiness.

In his eyes, you still were. You were his only radiating source of light that made him feel warm. You were his comfort, like a warm blanket during a rainy day, or an iced tea when the weather was too hot to do anything else but lounge around the house with all fans on full blast.

He said something to make you laugh.

Mark noticed how the one that accompanied you looked at you with a small spark in his eyes as you cover your mouth in attempts to shield your erupting laughter. That was a cute habit of yours when you laughed, and he used to stare at you the same way; he was staring at you almost identically as he's sat across the bar at that moment. The only difference now was that Mark stopped being the reason for your bright smiles and warm laughter.

I noticed how both your smiles were twice as wide as ours.

The first encounter between the two of you would forever be engraved in the mind of Mark Lee.

He was walking around a lake during a camping trip with a few of his friends, mindlessly swinging his arms around to cool off. Mid swing, though, he made contact with something he later found out was your face. He apologized so many times that you had almost busted a lung laughing at the poor boy's terrified features.

Soon, Mark joined you, laughing in harmony because apparently being smacked in the face by someone was the funniest thing to the both of you. Mark proceeded to awkwardly ask for your contact information, hoping to make up for the mishap, and you complied because the man was so darn cute.

One meet-up (he never specified it as a date) turned into two, which turned into three, and soon, you were seeing each other everyday in a small cafe hidden within the corners of your shared campus.

The two of you attended the same university, but due to being in different departments, there was never really a chance to come across one another while running to your next classes, but this cafe was the one spot you two had in common.

The cafe meetings soon turned into cafe dates (he clarified this time that they were in fact, dates), and soon enough, you were both head over heels in love, moving in together as you approached your final years of college.

Mark and your's relationship wasn't perfect, but it was always so much fun. Mark was always able to make you laugh because of how awkward he was, and one time you to left him behind on a trip to the grocery store because he was so embarrassing, making stupid puns at the poor worker just trying to stock the shelves of the cereal aisle. That day, you bought a watermelon the size of both your heads combined to make up for leaving him behind.

Mark bitterly smiled at his recollection. That was one of the last times he and you were able to smile together.

You looked happier.

The last time Mark saw you, it was on a sunny, Saturday afternoon. You were on your way back from a trip to your local convenience store, bags of chips, a tub of ice cream, and boxes of candy spilling out of the watermelon themed reusable bag he had left behind after moving out. You were still wearing his hoodie, then. He left that behind for you too.

It made him smile, knowing that you kept it.

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you.

You felt as though you couldn't breathe. When you entered Mark and your shared apartment, you sensed that something was wrong; that something was missing from your normally warm environment. Mark and you have been arguing more frequently recently, and the night before, it was the worst it had been in years.

Mark had been going out later into the night, sleeping on couches of friend's houses more than in his own bed. Your shared bed. You more often than not woke up to nothing, the radiating warmth missing from your side.

You'd had enough of it, and confronted the man when he walked into the apartment at 2 am. Words spewed from either side, along the lines of "I'm sick of this" and "What is there to be sick of?" Mark ended up sleeping on the couch that night while you cried yourself to sleep, clutching Mark's pillow and attempting to hold onto what used to be the warm, delightful love of your life.

The next day when you woke up, he was gone. He texted you saying he had to leave early for work and that you should go ahead and start your day without him, and you did. You began planning ways to talk things out, to fix things with Mark over a nice dinner.

You set your plan to action and made your way to the local market. When you returned home and stepped foot into the kitchen, though, your eyes landed on a small note placed right in the center of the dining table. Written on that note in Mark's sloppy handwriting were the words, "I'm sorry, but I need to clear my head."

You dropped the note and ran into your bedroom, only to see that Mark had taken almost half of his belongings from the cramped space, along with one of the suitcases the two of you placed behind the closet when you first moved in. He was gone.

But ain't nobody love you like I do.

He'd been gone for about 10 days when you receive a call from Donghyuck. The brown-haired boy informed you that Mark has been sleeping on his couch for over a week and would be stopping by within the next few days to take up all of his friend's belongings he'd left behind.

You hummed, almost numbly, and before hanging up, you mustered up the courage to ask Donghyuck if Mark was currently there with him. He hummed in response, and you mumbled a good before dropping the line completely, falling to your knees and sobbing until you no longer had tears to let fall.

You were broken, and it was all because of Mark, yet a piece of you continuously hoped and prayed that he was safe. That he was living in a proper home with a place to sleep, and that he wasn't too cold because he often got cold very easily.

Mark, on the other end of the line, was silently holding in his cries as his best friend hung up the phone, disconnecting him from his one true love. Mark never intended to hurt you the way that he did, but in his mind, because he loved you so much, too much, he had to let you go.

He was noticing how much he was holding you back, from job opportunities to your social life, he believed he was the reason. He was the reason you declined the job offer in the neighboring city because that meant you'd have to either move out or drag Mark with you, and you chose on neither and stayed. He was the reason you never left the house on weekends because only then was he ever home. He was the reason you had bags under your eyes, he soon realized.

You'd been staying up night after night, waiting for him to come home. You'd been crying because he would come home with bags darker than yours. You'd been losing sleep because you spent too much of your time worrying about him.

He was holding you back by loving you.

So he decided to let you go.

Promise that I will not take it personal, baby.

A few months have passed and Mark's finally settled down in a new place in the town you had rejected the job offer from all those months ago. A part of him wished that moving away would offer you closure, knowing that Donghyuck explained his side of the story to you. Mark wanted so badly to be the one who spoke to you that day, but he was afraid of the confrontation. He was scared he'd break and hold you into his arms and promise to never let you go, bringing himself and you back into the endless loop.

So he left. He moved away and had Donghyuck clean up the mess he'd made. Mark owes him one.

The other part of him, though, hoped that you contacted the agency that offered you the job all those months ago. The selfish part of him prayed that the agency granted your request and offered you the job you passed up on in this new city. He hoped that you and him could start over in a different setting, and maybe a few years from now, run into each other again. You'd be in better places in your lives and the two of you could start over.

He knew he was hoping for too much, but oh a man can dream.

If you're moving on with someone new.

Mark was brought back to the present when he hears a loud shattering of glass. He averted his eyes towards the source of the ruckus and landed his eyes on you. He noticed how your eyes grew into large saucers when he displayed similar shocked features.

Shit.

He quickly and clumsily packed up his belongings as he waved down one of the waiters, asking for the tab. Noticing Mark's shaken composure accompanied by the glares being sent in his direction from the other side of the bar, the waiter sympathetically printed out the bill as fast as he could and didn't let out a peep when Mark underpaid about 10 bucks.

Mark rushed out of the bar, only to be caught by the sound of your voice calling out to him.

"Don't you dare run away." The voice was cold.

"Not again, Mark." It was almost shaking.

You caught up to the man. He turned around, slowly, wishing that this was all just a messed up dream, and the alcohol was only playing tricks with his mind.

Indeed, though, this was his reality. Mark remained silent, only staring at his feet as you approached him.

"Look at me," your voice was softer now, but he noticed the stern edge laced within your words. You were never one to raise your voice, not even when Mark would spew incredulous things at you during an argument. You were always calm.

Mark shifted his gaze from the ground towards your face and noticed you looked wiser. He noticed how your soft features were now more sharp. He noticed how you wore your hair differently. He noticed how you'd ditched your casual jeans and a shirt for something more business-casual. He noticed how your aura had changed into something more serious. He noticed every little change about you.

He also noticed how, beneath all the physical changes, you were still you. You still had the same stars in your eyes. You still had his favorite scent. You still had the same quip in your lip when you spoke. You still had the same smile.

You were smiling at him.

Mark finally managed to meet your eyes, and as you opened your mouth to speak, he cut you off before you could get a sound out.

"You look happier."

Your smile dropped a bit at his observation. He was right, you were happier than you were after the breakup. But you were happier when you were with him. Using other men to distract yourself from Mark worked for a while, but it was never the same.

It's been over a year, and you still missed him. You missed everything about Mark; his smile, his laugh, his posture when he was furiously typing away at his keyboard because he had an essay due in 10 minutes. You missed the way he'd sing to you at night when you woke up from a nightmare, and the way he'd pet down your hair when the two of you wake up in each other's arms after a nap.

And although you missed him, a part of you was still angry at him. Angry that he left without an explanation, and had Donghyuck be the bearer of bad news that he wanted you to be happier. That he wanted you to have a life not revolving around him and his actions.

A part of you hated how he was so selfish, and how he never looked to you for his decision. Yet the other, wiser, part of you was thankful. Thankful that he cared about you enough to let you go, cared about you enough to put your priorities above his own feelings for once. Most importantly, you were thankful that he was your first heartbreak.

Before he was the boy who broke your heart, he was a friend.

You tilt your head a bit sideways, plastered another smile and nodded in response.

"It's a process."

He smiled back, toothy grin warming your heart. "I'm glad you're doing okay."

Maybe it was the universe finally hearing Mark's wishes of starting over, or maybe it was just a mere coincidence that you ran into each other that day. But nonetheless, the encounter made him realize one thing.

"I was happier with you."

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

"You had best run back to your room, little sister. Septa Mordane will surely be lurking. The longer you hide, the sterner the penance. You'll be sewing all through winter. When the spring thaw comes, they will find your body with a needle still locked tight between your frozen fingers." - Arya I AGOT

Recently it occurred to me while discussing how Lyanna is Arya’s literary mirror, that this quote is eerily similar to what happened to Lyanna who we know disappeared the year after the false spring in 282 AC, which means she disappeared during the winter and hid away for a year.  Lyanna also died holding onto something (rose petals and Ned’s hand) and Ned only found her just before she died and held onto her body as he grieved:

"I was with her when she died," Ned reminded the king. "She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father." He could hear her still at times. Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses. Promise me, Ned. The fever had taken her strength and her voice had been faint as a whisper, but when he gave her his word, the fear had gone out of his sister's eyes. Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black. After that he remembered nothing. They had found him still holding her body, silent with grief. The little crannogman, Howland Reed, had taken her hand from his. Ned could recall none of it. "I bring her flowers when I can," he said. "Lyanna was … fond of flowers." - Eddard I AGOT

Now Lyanna may not die with a sword or a sewing needle in hand, but we do know that Lyanna learned how to wield a sword in secret, and since “sewing” and “needlework” is used as euphemisms for swordplay in the books when it comes to certain characters, specifically Arya, it stands to reason that while Lyanna hid away she most likely spent some of her time “sewing” as well until she was too heavily pregnant.  We also don’t know her feelings when it comes to actual sewing and needlework.  Considering she is Arya’s literary mirror, however, I’m of half a mind to say that Lyanna also didn’t appreciate needlework like Arya.  I figure this because being literary mirrors to each other, we are meant to use these two characters to gleam aspects about each character that isn’t currently seen.  For instance, we know that Lyanna was also an awkward-looking tomboy as a child because Arya began the story as such.  And through Lyanna, we are told that Arya is going to grow into a wild beauty who eventually learns to balance the masculine and feminine aspects of herself as she matures.  Of course these two are still individuals within the narrative, with some key differences, which I believe have been placed there to tell us that Arya isn’t meant to let history repeat itself.

History repeating is a theme within the books and I firmly believe that the current generation of characters are meant to prevent the same cycle from turning.  I believe that certain characters are meant to overcome the mistakes and possible flaws of the character they mirror and make better choices.  For instance, I believe Lysa is Sansa’s literary mirror.  Now this isn’t a bad thing at all, because I believe that Sansa is meant to do the things Lysa could not do in her own story due to various circumstances.  Such as break away from Littlefinger’s control, stopping the poisoning of Sweetrobin before it’s too late, finding a way to send the Vale’s army out to aid the North and the Riverlands.  In the case of Arya and Lyanna, because they are also literary mirrors, I believe Arya is also meant to make different choices from Lyanna as well.  Of course, this doesn’t mean that Arya needs to do everything contradictory to Lyanna or even know or acknowledge that what she is doing is making sure history doesn’t repeat.  

Now a lot of people believe the quote above is death foreshadowing for Arya, and in a way it could be, but for the most part this reads as a warning.  Jon is telling Arya that the longer she hides during the winter, the sterner the consequences will be for her.  Currently it’s winter in Westeros, and Arya is in Braavos technically hiding, she also has Needle stashed on her during this time.  And while she isn’t using Needle much, Arya is in a sense sewing as she is weaving schemes for the FM.  So suffice it to say the longer she stays away with the FM the more likely her ending will end in her own death, just like Lyanna.

However, because of this theme of history repeating and the already different circumstances Arya is in, (Arya having permission from Ned to use a sword while Lyanna had to hide her sword training, Lyanna not having an older sister or a Septa growing up and mother, Arya being thrown into a wartorn country at the age of 9/10, ect.) and the subversions (Jon - a Targaryen - being Arya’s half-brother/cousin, Gendry - a Baratheon - being nothing like his father, Arya running off with a Baratheon - so far platonically - while Lyanna ran away with a Targaryen, ect.) despite Arya’s and Lyanna’s excessive parallels with each other, I believe there are a few things Arya has to do in the future, so her future doesn’t have the same fate.  I believe Arya needs to overcome her desire to run away, which is something Lyanna did (for whatever the reason, be it for love, a way to try to get out of her betrothal, or because her life was in danger from Aerys).  I believe that Arya in the end will choose the Baratheon, Gendry, even though I find it unlikely Arya will have to choose unless Jonarya is still on the table.  And I believe Arya will avoid the same fate as Lyanna because she’ll leave the FM within the first half of her TWOW chapters, reclaiming her identity, and by the time she’s back in Westeros, likely the Riverlands after this, I believe she will no longer be hiding who she is.  So all and all, in my opinion, this quote was made not only to connect Jon and Arya both to Lyanna, but to serve as a warning.  Jon is basically unknowingly telling Arya, “please don’t end up like my mother” and I don’t believe she will for a number of reasons.

Extra:  As for the similarities between the quotes, It might be worth noting that Arya’s Needle was given to her by Jon, while the rose petals Lyanna was holding likely came from Rhaegar, so they not only both came from a Targaryen, but they both are sentimental items that came from people they loved dearly.

[weaselandfriends]

Just finished all of CxC and great fucking work, I just have a couple questions.

I understand that Car is calling Sister an egg in the last bit, but I don't fully understand what Sister's response means. Are they saying that they're not because the point is that their avatar is supposed to be everything they are not?

Really love Papimon, would you ever do more stuff with her? Also if you just want to ramble about her at all please do, she felt too human in her own way to ever survive cxc but i was sad to see her go so soon.

Finally, I know you said you had initial ideas for this wayyy before any of the current events depicted. Is there a version of cxc somewhere where Graham has to explain that Trump is running for office? Or that has similar kinds of stuff

You should be proud of your writing, genuinely. Thank you for doing it.

Thank you so much for the kinds words. Let me try and answer these questions best I can (Spoilers for CxC if anyone else is reading):

1. Sister is refuting group identity in favor of personal identity, similar to Fletch and Mimmy, and also similar to characters like Clownmuffle if you've read Chicago. In particular, Sister is stating that by being so unpleasant, being so prone to distasteful behavior from her slurs to her sockpuppetry to her general thirst for brutality, no group will ever try to co-opt her. Mimmy, for instance, desired to be an "idol" who stood above everyone else, but was constantly being rolled into a broader discussion about LGBTQ+ representation in media, and after her death was, as Gramme notes, no longer Mimmy Wowzers but merely "trans creator" in news articles about her. Fletch, meanwhile, strove to study hard, stay out of trouble, and get a banal but cushy office job (similar to the one Harper has), but because of his skin color was the target of violence no amount of personal autonomy could evade. Sister is retreating from the world altogether to escape being assimilated into any kind of group, while rejecting any kind of concrete label about her gender/sexuality. This struggle between the individual and the group was a big focus of Chicago, and I've returned to it here in the context of CxC's greater interest in how people make meaning for themselves--or have meaning foisted upon them unwillingly.

2. That segues into Papimon, who also ties quite strongly into the theme of individual vs. group I just described. Like many of the supporting characters in CxC, Papimon is displaced from her home country and unable to return, and her story is a prelude or foreshadowing of the political nature the story will develop in the third act.

Papimon was one of the first characters I came up with for CxC, although to give context I'll explain that the initial idea for CxC was a lot different than what it became. Initially, CxC was conceived as a fairly minimalistic romance story, and the only characters were Harper, Gramme, Papimon, and Royce Ru, the last of which being positioned as Gramme's competitor in the will-they-or-won't-they style love plot. Royce would represent the company and an ordinary life, and Gramme would represent art and imagination, and so the romance element would have a corresponding thematic element. This is all pretty basic stuff for romance. Papimon was to be the wrench in the otherwise saccharine equation, and her death would be the turning point in Harper's considerations between Royce and Gramme. For most of CxC's long development, I planned for Papimon's death to occur in the exact midpoint of the story, the location of the climax in classical storytelling (now this position is filled by the Allison Apple roleplay). In fact, in the first draft of CxC, I still had her death in this location, even though the story had begun to trend away from being a traditional romance. As such, I had a lot more time for Papimon to simply exist in the story, and while I think the finalized three-part structure is far superior to my original structural designs, it particularly places a challenge on Papimon's character, as her entire presence is constrained to the first 12 chapters, many of which she is not even in.

Oddly enough, even though Papimon was one of the earliest characters conceived, a lot of what is distinct about her in the final draft was added very spontaneously while I was writing the final draft due to that late-in-the-game structural change necessitating major adjustments to her character. When Papimon tells Harper she made up the California surfer accent moments before she met Harper, that's true for me writing her as well; the earlier draft had no such affectation. Likewise, the first draft of CxC did not have the sex scene between Harper and Papimon, and there was no sexual or gender component to her character at all really; her frustrations were entirely isolated to her need to escape the dreary humdrum lifestyle of Los Alamos. In the earlier draft, she constantly talks about "going to Albuquerque," where there will surely be something to do; in the final Friday, Harper and Papimon attempt to make it to Albuquerque but Papimon's car breaks down and they spend the night instead in a generic side-of-the-road village that implies that Papimon will never be able to escape, setting the stage for her death.

Papimon so far has actually been the character who I've gotten the most feedback that readers don't understand what her deal is, so I'm glad that you really liked her. I think that if you want to understand Papimon, it's good to reread her scenes after having the context of the later two parts of the story; a lot of her character struggle presages those parts and makes more sense when seen through that lens.

3. As one might expect, CxC--a story I first got the idea for in 2014 or 2015--was not always set in 2020. My initial conception for Gramme's ending, even after I moved on from the traditional romance element and gave Gramme more of a story in his own right, was much different. In the earlier drafts, Sister was not in Gramme's mansion (she was a solely online character, like Cariscresco), and instead there was a third roommate. Near the end of the story, this third roommate would be stabbed to death by a homeless person and Gramme would leave the mansion with Fletch and Dogshit to track them down and get revenge, which would ultimately lead to a run-in with the police that ends poorly for everyone involved. As such the story was a lot less temporally focused and there weren't specific references to current events.

In 2013 I wrote a novel about the 1992 Rodney King riots and to write it I did assiduous research, watching hours upon hours of footage from the riots themselves, of the police brutality that sparked the riots, of the cultural context that led to the situation in Koreatown, and so on. Since then the topic has always been of significant interest to me. I realized that setting the story in 2020 and adjusting the ending would not only create a stronger finale but also help emphasize Harper's character via her temporal isolation and create the impression of the real world violently intruding into the world of the story.

[siren-virus]

welp, I've finally came up with a schedule for asking you questions. Every 2-4 days after you answer something I've sent I shall make an ask, changing the themes between your OCs and their world, and Luckyboy!Ben AU. That way I won't burn you out accidently with asking about the same thing all the time XD And since my last ask was about your OCs, it's time to return to Luckyboy!Ben AU :D

Ok, first question, Would Gwen here have the necrofriggian babies? Big Chill babies (but named differently obviously)? I suspect that she would have them considering that that was something that came up from a... defect, bug, glitch, purposefully put design? in the Omnitrix, as such she should have birthed them regardless of the differences with cannon. Would anyone else know about the babies, considering it was treated as a secret in cannon but maybe not in this AU?

Also, what about Zs'Skayr? He (Is Zs'Skayr gendered? I'll treat them as male for the rest of this ask to avoid complications) is also someone that's independent of the events of the prime universe, and as such I'd imagine that he would still be a threat in this universe.

And the Loboan transformation that Ben went through in the OS, would Gwen also go through it in here as well? We know that that transformation was triggered by Werewolf when the team was attacked, forcing Ben to go through a gradual transformation.

Now back to Nekomata :D Would Ben ever reveal his identity to someone? Maybe Gwen and grandpa Max? Perhaps Rook if he manages to gain the complete trust of Ben first? What kind of situation would allow for Ben to reveal his identity as Nekomata that wasn't a life-or-death one? Because let's be real, in a life-or-death situation anyone would reveal their identities XD

We know that Ben is the favourite barista of the coffee, and with good reason, considering he's a charismatic info brooker that will kick the ass (or alien equivalent) of anyone making trouble, while also being respectful of the clients (because that's mandatory in a job like that one, but isn't it hard to find employees like that in this universe) and keeping their dietaries needs in mind. But does He has any favourite client, someone he's waiting to come because he geniunly sees them as friends even though they only see each other in the coffee? Nekomata interactions don't count for this XD I'd imagine it would be one of the plumbers kids, Kevin or Argit, But who knows? this might as well be a time to make any background character shine :P Not that I remember any of them anyways XD

NGL Im already burnt out on luckyboy (it dont take much rlly, just bored of the idea haha ;;) I'll entertain ur questions tho. maybe it'll spark me back to life. Currently hyperfixated on artfight!

I'm conflicted about this. Idk if that episode was supposed to be a metaphor for teen pregnancy (i still find it hilarious that it's a cannon mpreg episode rip!), but with Gwen it wouldn't rlly work(?) She's quite responsible, and considering her personality she'd get way too attached.

So- I would say that she has a lot better communication with Azmuth then what Ben did, and Azmuth took into consideration a lot of Gwens suggested tweeks. So, no babys- srry. They'd nerf Gwen completely. (poor thing crys over the littlest things...)

You know what? what's the harm in a little childhood trauma, we'll have Zs'Skayr. Gwen never took back control of Ghost Freak after the events of Zs'Skayr. She also never defeated him the first round, it irritates her to know end how much of a coward she was as a child. But she was a child! She's too hard on herself a lot of the times.

Oh geez this brings back memories~ I remember sitting in my loungeroom watching this episode and loving it every time.

The only reason Ben turned into the Laboan was because he chased after the OG wolf man.

I would say Gwen's a lot more cautious in those cases and stuck close to Max. So she didn't end up collecting the Laboan DNA until a lot further down the track.

Maybe similar events happen with a different alien however, something Gwen can't avoid.

Before I dive down into Nekomata I just wanna make note of some Gwen stuff.

Gwen is still quite headstrong, intelligent and cautious when it comes to fighting. Quite similar to how she functions in the OG her fighting is more Defensive. Her fighting style is built off Taekwondo (I think thats what she practised in alien force...) So she's more built for self defence. She's very analytical of her opponents. Her best alien would be XLR8 (my one of my faves ngl). Using her quick thinking she can do small attacks that can weaken her opponent.

Now then:

I usually don't like to reveal big REVEALS to anyone even myself. Which can straight up nerf me when it comes to developing my own characters cause I won't spoil myself.

So it takes a lot of willpower to do this. It's my AU and I say what's canon!

WHEEEEZE BUT TO BE HONEST I LIKE TO SWITCH THINGS UP SO DON'T TAKE THIS AS OFFICIAL OFFICIAL CAUSE I MIGHT END UP CHANGING MY MIND. I'M SO INDESCISIVE!!!

The big reveal:

You know what, I thought about this a while ago. Rook is realsing that perhaps the plumbers are in the wrong. So he only whishes to hear Nekomata out. He ends up finding Nekomata after a big fight. He's quite injured and bleeding out, he can't retain his anodite form (add a bit of a concussion in the mix). Rook panics and has to throw the mask off, because the majorite of blood is under the mask. (mans know first aid). He's hesitant, all this chasing, all this fighting. Surely he couldn't! but He does. He pulls of the mask AND, oh shit, the barista!

I think around this time the plumbers had caught on to Rooks faulty allegiance and had followed him, so He finds himself surrounded. Rook places the mask back on and trys to talk with the plumbers.

They're not hearing it. And Ben, in his weary state, pulls out one of his little teleporter rocks (i forgot to mention he carries around of a lot of them, preinfused with mana as a just in case scenario) grabs Rook by the ankle and teleports them away.

Through a series of events his identity is revealed, to the public and he's on the run. Not sure how that'll go, but it extends the overall storyline!

....

...

You're right, the BG characters really don't get that limelight. So..... Blukig and Driba. He genuinely enjoys their little back and forths. Also in this universe they're gay. I can't imagine those two loving anyone else but each other.

[kenkamishiro]

Jack Jeanne Playthrough Part 3 (April 5)

1 month later. April 5th in the VN. Kisa is at Univeil and excited she passed the entrance exam. She runs into her childhood friend Yonaga who's also been accepted. He's shocked that Kisa is attending too, but before she can explain Suzu joins them, introduces one each other.

Quartz's theme is "transparency" where many inexperienced performers who haven't specialized yet tend to go.

Onyx = Jacks whose forte is in dance.

Rhodonite = Jeannes who specialize in song.

Amber is where talented and unique students gather.

Suzu theorizes Kisa would be in Rhodonite because of her appearance, himself in Onyx because his physical abilities make him more suitable for dancing than singing or acting. Yonaga would like to be in Quartz.

Yonaga: Quartz...would be nice.

Suzu: I get what you mean!

Yonaga: Huh?

Suzu: Tbh I enrolled in Univeil cause I really admire Tachibana Tsuki, the legendary Jackace of Quartz!

Kisa: ...!

Suzu: That's why I wanna be in the same class as Tachibana Tsuki...come to think of it, your last names are the same.

Kisa: (If people find out I'm related to Tsuki-nii, it might make it even easier for them to discover my identity...! But it might be better than lying poorly...)

Kisa: It's true. It's the same (nonchalantly)

Yonaga: ......

Suzu: Maybe you guys are distant relatives!

Kisa: *nervous laughter*

Yonaga cuts in and says they should go check which class they're in. Kisa thanks Yonaga for the save. Their year is the 78th class of Univeil. All 3 are in Quartz.

Kisa gets called to the headmaster's office.

Chuuza congratulates her and informs her about her admission. The only ones who know that Kisa is a girl is him, Quartz's homeroom teacher Enishi Rokurou, and now Yonaga, Kisa's childhood friend. Chuuza is surprised that someone who knew about Kisa enrolled in the school.

But if anyone else finds out that she's a girl, expulsion. But since a lot of students are feminine, she won't have to go out of her way to act and dress like a boy. He reminds her to build trust with the rest of the students, and aim to become a lead and aim for the top.

Kisa arrives to Quartz's homeroom late.

??: Yes, yes, come right in.

Kisa: (The teacher...? But he's in a student uniform.)

??: You were called in quite loudly during the school announcements. Did you run into any issues on the first day? Theft, robbery, manslaughter, extortion, coercion, or a bank robbery, perhaps...?

(Please watch the clip of this scene. Can you tell he and Furuta share the same VA? 😄)

Fumi: No one like that would be in our school, Kuro.

??: But wouldn't be great to have such a plucky 1st year around, Fuumin! All the world's a stage!

Fumi: And, if the cops came?

??: I concede! Law is what keeps society together.

Kai: ...you two are bothering the 1st years.

Kisa finds a seat by Suzu and Yonaga.

Neji Kokuto (3rd year, 76th class of Univeil) welcomes the 1st year students to Univeil and Quartz. Class leader-slash-scriptwriter-slash-director-slash...all kinds of other things! He provides an info-dump about Univeil for us.

5 performances in total: Rookie, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Univeil Exhibitions. The Rookie Exhibition is where the 1st years take the lead roles, which is going to be held May 30th. Today is April 5th, so less than 2 months remain. Most viewers will watch over them warmly,  but others will be more strict, like journal reporters, critics and avid Univeil fans. Neji will write a script to allow even novices like them to shine on stage. Casting will be announced mid-April. Upper years are also participating and support the 1st years.

Neji: If you have any questions, all you need is to ask. I'm sure all our seniors here will be more than happy to help you.

??: What, no way.

Neji: With some exceptions of course! Mwahaha. Mikki's a 2nd year now, you can be a little nice to your juniors, hm?

??: ...

Kisa notes he looks cute like a doll. Shirota Mitsuki, noted for his singing. He catches Kisa staring at him, and she apologizes.

Neji asks if anyone has any questions. You're given 3 options: 1) How casting is determined, 2) Type of training to be done, 3) No questions.

Casting is based on Neji's subjective judgment. Everything from how they're doing in lessons, campus life, the way they walk, talk, physique, voice, facial expressions. Essentially based on his intuition, which he uses to find gemstones in the rough.

Training I'll explain later, there's gameplay related to it.

Neji finishes his spiel and passes it on to Quartz's homeroom teacher, Enishi. Pretty low energy. Lessons start tomorrow. Class is dismissed.

Suzu meets Kisa outside the Quartz dorms and asks if she's ready to introduce herself to the other students. He notes it's hard to find people since Univeil is so large. They chat for a bit, Suzu asks Kisa to call him by his first name, so Suzu-kun it is.

Inside Yonaga's dorm. He's finished unpacking, though he's still yet to put away his books (on theatre). He asks how Kisa got into Univeil, and she explains what happened. Yonaga says he'll help Kisa to make sure she stays at Univeil. He's glad that Kisa is here with him.

Yonaga: Kisa-chan, about Tsuki-kun...

Kisa: I can't get in touch with Tsuki-nii, but I'm sure he's doing fine wherever he is. 

Yonaga: I see. Yeah, I'm sure he is.

(Isn't that sketchy? Maybe he turned into that weasel with the moon on its belly lol)

Kisa begins her search for the Quartz students. At the Univeil courtyard, Kisa hears Mitsuki singing.

"Within this chest of mine I dance, the rhythm of possibilities"

Kisa: (I'd heard he was lauded for his singing, but he really has a beautiful voice...the lyrics paint the scene in my head.)

Mitsuki: ...could you not stare at me like that? It's uncomfortable.

Kisa: Oh, I'm sorry!

Mitsuki: Oh, you again. The 1st year who came in late.

Kisa: Yes. My name is Tachibana Kisa. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Mitsuki: Huh...you've got a face like a girl.

Kisa: Eh? Y-yes, I suppose so.

Mitsuki: A high-pitch voice. A delicate figure. And a Jeanne at that. At least be aware of your own features.

Kisa: I-I'm sorry.

He sighs and introduces himself. 2nd year, 77th class of Univeil. A Jeanne and a tresor (songstress/diva) of Quartz. VA is Kajiwara Gakuto (Asta). Kisa compliments him on his singing.

Mitsuki: So you were eavesdropping.

Kisa: I-I'm sorry.

Mitsuki: Well, not like I care either way. Later.

Kisa: He left...I guess he doesn't really like interacting with people. But his voice really was beautiful.

(If I had to describe Mitsuki's tone, it would be similar to Kenma, but a bit more antisocial lol)

Kisa finds Kai in the forest, seemingly concentrating on something. She decides to come back later, but Kai notices her.

Kai: ...? Quartz's 1st year?

Kisa: Yes! I'm Tachibana Kisa.

Kai: I see, you're...

Kisa: Yes!

(awkward silence between the two)

Kai: Mutsumi Kai, 76th class of Univeil. I'm a 3rd year.

Kisa: So I should call you Mutsumi-senpai!

Kai: Kai is fine. You can call me that around other people too.

Kisa: But...

Kai: ...

Kisa: ...(agrees)

Kai: ...

Kisa: T-then, I'll call you Kai-san!

Kai: Okay.

Kisa notes Kai is the Jackace of Quartz. And since Tsuki was also the Jackace, that means he must be talented too.

Kai: I'm a vessel meant to garnish the Aljeanne. Nothing more, nothing less.

Kisa is confused by his statement. Convo ends.

Kisa runs into Neji next in the hallways. He enters a room then promptly comes back out.

Neji: Welcome!

Kisa: Ah!

Neji: What're you doing in a place like this?

Kisa: I'm going around introducing myself to everyone in Quartz.

Neji invites her into his workroom where he writes his scripts and plans his staging. But he also performs on stage, any male or female role, from a shining prince/princess to old grannies/gramps.

He's currently working on the script for Quartz, but he won't reveal it just yet. Kisa asks if the other class leaders write the scripts like he does, but Neji is a special case, who screenwrites, directs and performs.

Neji: Once you get carried away, you can't see what's going on around you. What we do has no end to it. Acting, dancing, singing, they're fields that you can pursue for a lifetime. You could reach the stars, or merely end up as a master of none. No matter how much time,  it will never be enough. It's a terrifying world out there. That's why it's so engrossing. The stage is a colossal device. The Jacks and Jeannes make up the gears, and I am the craftsman who pieces them together. Let's create a fantastic stage together, Tachibana-kun!

Neji must continue writing, and wishes Kisa the best for the Rookie Exhibition. (Neji definitely talks the most out of the main cast lol. And fast too, talks a mile a minute and tone varies hugely)

Kisa finds Fumi standing languidly in the middle of the dance room, taking deep breaths before beginning to dance. A Japanese-style dance where his movements are gentle, beautiful and brilliant. He comments on Kisa staring intently at him, just like during the entrance exam.

Kisa is surprised that Fumi remembered, despite the number of applicants.

Fumi: I remember you and the red-haired guy well cause you two danced so terribly.

Kisa: Oh...

Fumi: I'm just kidding. Though the red-haired guy really did suck.

Kisa introduces herself, and Fumi pauses at hearing the name Tachibana. 3rd year Takashina Sarafumi, 76th class of Univeil, but he prefers being called Fumi, no senpai honorific attached. Kisa ends up calling him Fumi-san.

Fumi: Let's have fun, Kisa. (leaves)

Kisa: It's overwhelming seeing him up close. So that's the power of an Aljeanne.

Kisa goes to her room excited for her new life at Univeil and retires for the night for her 1st day of classes tomorrow.

＊＊＊

previous || next (to be updated)

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

I don’t need you to love me, I love me

I’m gonna miss writing about Pearl.

As the loneliest Crystal Gem, a loyal servant who became a fierce ally, then a spurned lover, then a grieving survivor, Pearl’s story is about discovering who she can be on her own terms. Like Steven, she believes that her value comes from being valued, but unlike Steven, she was literally programmed this way and has an even harder time breaking loose, so she starts off at the toxic level of selfish selflessness that threatens to consume him, directed towards someone who’s been dead for years. She defines herself by her relationships, but struggles with all of them because she only understands a dynamic where one person is superior and the other is inferior; as such, her life is an endless evaluation of whether she’s worse or better than the people around her, thus whether she should be deferential or condescending. Her problem goes beyond not knowing how to develop loving relationships with equals: she doesn’t know how to love herself.

But she changes her mind.

“We need to talk about us.”

The first act of Change Your Mind (which lines up nicely with its first quarter) sets the stage with Blue and Yellow both converting to Steven’s cause, and while compelling, it’s appropriately intense. That intensity gets even higher as the episode continues, but this is still a big finale, so it’s about damn time for some fanservice.

After a quick “go to your rooms” to reinforce that White Diamond is the Diamonds’ mother more than their older sister, Connie gets the body part pun train rolling: “face-off” will soon be followed by “did you have a hand in this?” and “lend me a hand” (which earns a chuckle from Blue), Pink’s legs succumb when Steven takes a knee, and getting into White’s head becomes the primary goal of the second act (so all of this second quarter and most of the third). Still, the levity seems fleeting before two glints in the sky bring us the one-two punch of Bismuth leading the charge and Lapis and Peridot showing off their threads.

Bismuth fits right in as the leader of the B-Team, as beyond her seniority she’s clearly more competent at running a show than the other two (see: The New Crystal Gems). But her reverse electric guitar soon cedes to a glorious harmony of Lapis and Peridot’s themes as we see their new forms: Lapis gets pants and sandals, and Peridot gets ridiculous shades and a trashcan lid, the perfect adaptation of Static’s saucer for the Crystal Gems’ resident raccoon. Peridot goes ham with three stars, while Lapis wears a subtle dark blue variant that includes all five points if we count her legs. For a moment, everything is right in the world.

Their timing couldn’t be better, and not just because we need some stress relief. Steven begins the finale with one friend on his side, then he gets two Diamonds on his side, and now he has three reinforcements on his side, and this growing group of allies all represent what the Big Three Crystal Gems can’t: the family that Steven has chosen, rather than the family he grew up with. These relationships are all a result of his effort, whether going out of his way to befriend Connie or winning over the five former enemies that now stand at his side, and together they‘re one huge reminder that you can reach people if they’re willing to be reached. White Diamond isn’t a villain because she’s cruel, she’s a villain because she quashes any effort to change her mind.

Furthermore, seeing Lapis and Peridot  in particular next to a pale, prejudiced, recently-discovered member of Steven’s extended family who disagrees with a parent’s name change evokes that other long episode where Steven went out on a limb to change someone’s mind, and the comparison does wonders for putting White Diamond’s bigotry in perspective.

I’ve already made my defense of Andy, but in short, his irritable first impression masks how open-minded he ends up being. Sure, he has some lousy beliefs, but he’s willing to sit down with folks he disagrees with and try and look for ways to either compromise or straight-up be convinced that those beliefs might be wrong. On its own, Gem Harvest could be read as a little too hopeful, especially as it came out weeks after the 2016 election gave proud bigots the White House, but next to Change Your Mind it expands on the finale’s message: keep an open heart and mind, because people can surprise you if you give them a chance, but don’t let yourself be a doormat in the process.

White Diamond would never have come to the Crystal Gems’ table. She still hasn’t even shown up in person since Legs From Here to Homeworld, using a warped version of the same delegation Steven practices in his talks with the Diamonds: he helps others bring their individual experiences to light, showing that his position isn’t unique, while she blots out their individuality and replaces them with her. Blue and Yellow’s contrast has been a plot point for far longer, but Pink and White (and now Steven and White) are an even starker pair of foils, divided not only by personality but by size and age.

Knowing how hard it will be to reach White, Yellow and Blue again suggest that Steven and the Crystal Gems bail, offering their own ships now that Pink’s is unavailable. While this shows how profoundly they believe in him, it again reveals how unfamiliar these two are with being “good.” Beyond the plan only delaying the inevitable (White Diamond for sure could send more troops to Earth in this scenario), Steven points out that his mother failed in both of her identities to confront the problem in a healthy way, and continuing to avoid it will mean it never gets solved. Rose is still a progression from Pink and Yellow and Blue, as fighting for your beliefs addresses the issue more directly than running away, but Steven in turn is a progression from Rose.

Then Connie’s opening words in Blue and Yellow’s conversions pay off. This time she’s the one ending the conversation, and she’s gained enough of their attention that they don’t write her off as a blathering human. Steven never got to meet Rose, rank-and-file Gems don’t have parents, and White Diamond seems to be the root of it all, so Connie is the ideal voice to reach the Diamond Sisters: she’s the only other person on the planet with a living mother. Where Dr. Maheswaran at her worst once stood in for Yellow Diamond, she can now represent the bigger fish, both in her similar brand of maternal tyranny and in the hope that her attitude can change after a good talk.

And just as Connie takes over Steven’s role as the big finisher for Blue and Yellow, Steven takes over Connie’s role as the voice introducing bigger voices now that it’s time to face White. He works with his aunts to bring his grandmother to a standstill—not by beating her statue-like ship into submission, but by joining the arm-ships to the body and completing the picture—and says his piece briefly before ceding the floor to a pair that White has victimized for far longer than the past week or so.

I love that Yellow is the first to speak, flipping the Diamonds’ conversion order and subverting the notion that the more emotionally open Blue might take the lead. This isn’t just a matter of clarity, but bravery, and Yellow has always been the more confrontational of the pair. It’s also that much more impactful to see Yellow push past her fear and allow herself to be vulnerable, given how hard she’s worked to maintain her air of stoicism. Patti LuPone’s raw power has served the character well, and she keeps up the same petulant energy that saw Yellow dishing about White in Familiar, but now she funnels all of it into a stirring argument against the exacting nature of Homeworld society. And because Yellow helps pave the way, Blue can deepen their point by defending Pink’s role in the quartet and detailing how White’s orders have caused the whole family to suffer.

Steven bookends the Diamonds by suggesting that White can start helping everyone by helping her daughters. Then White shows what kind of “help” she’s willing to provide.

Pink’s former pearl was already proof that White Diamond has the power to possess others, but it’s another thing to see it in action. The whole episode so far has been about building up hope again after Steven is knocked down by Homeworld, but all it takes is one agonizing glare to send everything backwards. Blue and Yellow are even worse off than they were before, and as they’re brought into White’s fold, their arms follow suit. White drops the Crystal Gems and lets them fall, then Steven drops the Crystal Gems and dives after them.

As he slides down alien architecture on his shield, the soundtrack gives a nod to the theme song to prepare us for more fanservice. Now that White has made it clear that talking isn’t going to get us anywhere, it’s time for more action. Now that we’ve established the importance of Steven’s chosen family, it’s time to reconnect with the family he was born into.

Amethyst is first, because of course she is. She’s usually the quickest to reform, and she’s the only Gem that Steven has fused with, so Smoky Quartz is the best start if the goal is reeling off three fusions in a row with a growing sense of excitement. Smoky’s theme heralds this new development with glee, evoking the pure joy of seeing a new fusion from Earthlings as it becomes clear what the show is doing. Fusion has recently featured as a stand-in for marriage and an act of rebellion, but now it represents familial love, and doubles as an elegant plot device to get the poofed crew back in action. The wonder of fusion has always been that beyond whatever metaphor it currently serves, it’s also just a really neat piece of magic that lends itself to awesome visuals, and this whole sequence revels in the glorious spectacle.

Pearl is second, because we’ve already seen another version of Rainbow Quartz, so the biggest reveal is bound to be the Garnet fusion. Rainbow Quartz 2.0 blends the old with the new, immediately showing off the latest clever fusion of weapons (a shield and a spear into a parasol) and introducing a blue jacket that will soon belong to Pearl. The drumkit/chiptune mashup of Smoky’s theme is replaced by a piano/chiptune mashup, and then this new fusion opens their mouth.

Of all of Steven’s fusions with a female or female-presenting partner, this is the one with a male voice actor, and it couldn’t be more perfect. Rainbow Quartz was the only one of Rose’s fusions that we saw, and Now We’re Only Falling Apart shows that she was the second-ever cross-Gem fusion after Garnet (that we know of), so she was clearly something special. Pearl’s romantic interest in Rose complicates matters further, as Rainbow Quartz is an embodiment of a deeply imperfect relationship. This is a character with a lot of baggage, but casting Alastair James puts a hard stop to the idea that this is the same Rainbow Quartz, even before we hear them refer to themself as “2.0.” After the literal nightmare that begins Change Your Mind and the figurative nightmare to come, it’s wonderful to have one more piece of evidence that Steven and Rose are different people.

Amethyst and Pearl, like Lapis and Peridot, get great new looks, and they’ll soon be followed by Garnet (after the commercial break). If this was just for the sake of fanservice, it’d be more than enough: it’s always fun to get outfit changes, and between that and the fusions (including Sunstone and Obsidian; again, after the commercial break!) we get a pleasant treat to sate us between the drama. But as always, the show finds a way to create deeper meaning in the magic.

The Diamonds look the same now as they did thousands of years ago, and one of the reasons why is that they’re unbreakable. Creating a new form requires poofing, which is a very silly way to say that the Crystal Gems have found a way to grow through pain.

Life will always have its share of pain. Part of growing up, maybe the biggest part, is figuring out what you’re going to do about it. The Diamonds react to pain by closing themselves off and letting their problems fester rather than addressing them head-on. But over the course of the series, Lapis and Peridot and Amethyst and Pearl and Garnet have put in the work to learn from their pain and heal, and because they’re literal projections of their true selves, they get a physical manifestation of that growth that can only come after weathering one more blow.

To be clear, pain itself shouldn’t be glamorized. It sucks, and it’s okay if your reaction is to take care of yourself rather than use it for Creative Fuel. But the Crystal Gems are what happens when you deal with your pain, and the Diamonds are what happens when you don’t. And because Steven shares the legacy of both, Steven Universe is about him helping others through their pain and Steven Universe Future is about finally confronting his own.

We end with the most frustrating commercial break of the three, coming right in the middle of the second act, so we’ll just keep on going with fusions and new outfits next time. But if we have to stop partway through a scene, at least we get a Monty Python Foot to stamp out the first half of Change Your Mind.

I Can’t Believe We’ve Come So Far

Hilary Florido is the only storyboarder with their own recurring segment in Steven, Universally. But every other storyboarder had plenty of opportunities to make a fully realized High School AU in their promo art, and none of them did, so that’s on them.

Florido is obviously more than her promo art, but it speaks to a specific level of nerdy passion that made her and longtime coboarder Jesse Zuke so dang good at Peridot episodes, starting with just their second collaboration, the iconic Catch and Release. From there they gave us Too Far and Log Date 7 15 2 and Barn Mates and Too Short to Ride and Beta and Gem Harvest, and Florido kept the ride going with Raising the Barn. Peridot would not be Peridot without Hilary Florido.

In terms of more serious clods, Florido is the only person to board all three Kevin appearances (Alone Together with Rebecca Sugar and first regular coboarder Katie Mitroff, Beach City Drift with Zuke, and Kevin Party with final regular coboarder Danny Cragg, who also stopped boarding after the movie). She gave us as Ronaldo at his worst in Rocknaldo and Aquamarine at her worst in I Am My Mom. And as if she needed further proof of her prowess with harrowing material, she gave us Alone at Sea and A Single Pale Rose.

It’s weird to attribute good Steven writing to any one boarder, given he’s in every episode but Jungle Moon and he’s generally pretty great, but Florido worked on some of the most important moments of Steven letting us into his deeper thoughts: she’s behind him getting real with the Cool Kids in Joy Ride, with Amethyst in Steven vs. Amethyst, and with himself in a rare monologue in Lion 4. His ability to discuss the uncomfortable subtext of Mystery Girl’s visual similarity to Rose is key to the magnificent tone of Last One Out of Beach City, and his introspection about his mother’s older identity is just as important to Familiar.

In short, Hilary Florido rocked at characters with rough edges, whether it was Peridot’s ornery id, a bevy of outright villains ruining everyone’s day, normally sympathetic characters doing dubious things, or Steven giving himself enough of a break to complain. She stepped up as a storyboard supervisor for Steven Universe Future, but even if she hadn’t, her legacy would be secure.

(Frankly it’d be secure even if the only thing she gave us was this.)

[recurring-polynya]

What comparisons can be made between renruki and Ichiruki? I often wondered about this.

This is such a hot button issue that as soon as I received this (perfectly polite) ask, my body tensed up and my brain went Am I being trolled?

It’s honestly a shame that there is so much bad blood behind this, because it is, in fact, a very interesting thing to talk about, and I am going to attempt to do so in good faith, because I love thinking about this kind of thing. Even though I am very openly a Renruki shipper, I love all three of these characters very much, and I think that Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship is very important! I am doing my best to be neutral, although I have not read very much Ichiruki fanfic/meta, so please give me a benefit of a doubt. Obviously, I can’t stop anyone from reblogging this and putting their own comments on it, but I have no interest in getting in debates over it, so don’t be surprised if I don’t engage.

This is both long, and I am sure some people don’t care, so I’m gonna put the rest under a cut. I have tried to hard to write this in a way that will not make anyone mad, but if you think it will make you mad, please give yourself the gift of not clicking on it.

So, what is the same between Ichigo and Renji? Lots, actually. Physically, they are both tall, strong, and have ridiculously colored spiky hair. They are outwardly grumpy, but secretly have soft, gooey centers. Neither one of them is dumb, but they are both dumbasses. They are protectors: they would rather take any amount of pain or damage onto themselves than see a loved one hurt. Their friends are everything to them, and that goes triple for Rukia.

How are they different, then? There are three major bullets:

- Ichigo is alive. Renji is dead. Perhaps this is a little flip, but Renji belongs to same world that Rukia does, and Ichigo does not. This is not a value judgment, it is just a fact: If Rukia ends up with Renji, she stays where she is. If she ends up with Ichigo, either Rukia or Ichigo have to make a huge change. I will get back to this.

- Youth vs. Experience. Ichigo is a 15-year old boy, as we are told about 1000 times. There is some mystery over how old Rukia and Renji are, but they have graduated from secondary education and are currently employed. I think it’s safe to assume that they are roughly close in age to each other, but I think Rukia may perceive Renji as seeming older than herself-- he graduated from school, and she didn’t; he’s on his third squad transfer, whereas she’s hasn’t budged from her initial, entry-level job, and he’s now middle management. However, the arc of the story we don’t get to see, is that over the timeskips, Rukia not only catches up to, but surpasses him. Also, not for nothing, but I think that in the same way Rukia is immediately drawn to Ichigo because of his resemblance to Kaien, I think she is also drawn to him for his resemblance to Young Renji-- a grumpy, prickly young man, leaking self-doubt from every pore, whom she is more able to be generous towards through the lens of age and experience. (And I think this comparison could support either ship)

- Ichigo is the protagonist. Rules don’t apply to him. Fate breaks on his sword. He represents the triumph of love or hard work or dreams or what have you over the cruel millstone of the world. Renji, on the other hand, is firmly bound to the rules of the world in which he inhabits. In fact, that is arguably the entire purpose of his character. Renji’s fights are often used to set the stakes of the conflict-- ah, Renji got mangled, this guy must be tough. In the Soul Society Arc, he is an antagonist because he is doing what he is supposed to. In the TYBW, Kubo literally throws the two of them in a pit to fight some asauchi just to make the point that Renji is a shinigami and Ichigo is something else.

Let’s jump over to Rukia for a moment. Rukia is a great character, one of my favorite characters in any media. Rukia contains multitudes. She is tough and strong, but often melancholy. She can be beautiful and elegant, but she also lies and breaks rules and tried to put Kon in a dead cat once. Emotionally, she likes to present a cool front, but she has a big, loving heart, and she feels deeply. As a character, all of this makes her very easy to project onto, which is why I think so many people OTP her with someone, no matter who.Some people choose to try to make her into one of these things or another, and some people try to keep her as the full bundle of contradictions that she is.

There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There are many, many scenes that can be interpreted romantically, but no one goes on a date, no one kisses. Ichigo gazes longingly into the eyes of all his friends, it’s just a thing he does. Orihime does explicitly proclaim at one point that she loves Rukia, although I suspect that in the original Japanese, it’s the word for “friendship love” and not the very-rarely-used “romantic love.” I have seen a scene-for-scene comparison of IchiHime “romantic moments” only it’s Chad and Uryuu (which I choose to believe supports IshiChad, rather than negates IchiHime, but we may all choose for ourselves!) My point is that shipping in Bleach is a DIY craft, which, when we’re all having a good time, is what makes it so fun.

So, bringing all of this together, given that Ichigo and Renji are fairly similar characters, why are the ships so different, and what makes one appeal to some people and be abhorrent to someone else?

I think about romance stories a lot. I actually took a class on romance novels in college and I just really like to think about the mechanics of stories. In the truest sense of the word, “romance” is about extremes-- about sailing the high seas and wearing ostentatious shirts and shouting off a cliff in a rainstorm. When we talk about romance as a genre, the characters tend to behave in a way that we would not prefer our actual romantic partners do, but the over-the-top nature of it makes us swoon and our hearts drop -- except when it doesn’t. What is heart-breakingly romantic to some people can be a huge turn-off to others. The biggest fight my husband and I have ever had was over a kdrama. The male lead was hiding his identity from the female lead in order to help her, and I found it all to be deeply, deeply romantic, and my husband turned to me and said “He is being dishonest with her and I think it’s morally wrong” and I almost died.

So, let’s break down some of the themes of the two ships, which I think gets at the meat of what you were asking. Now, like I said, shipping is very participatory, and anyone may have their own ideas of how these relationships would be, and I am a big fan of “a great writer can get away with anything”, but in broad strokes, I think that these are the themes of the two ships:

IchiRuki:

Love conquers all/ Love is enough to overcome differences of class, age, lifestyle, geography, etc.

Instant connections/Love at first sight

Love is a force of the universe that cannot be denied or defeated

Young love

Grand gestures

Your partner changes you (in a positive way)/You effect change in your partner

Your partner is the center of your world

Your partner is the one person who can get through to you/You are the one person who can get through to your partner

Banter

Dumbassery

RenRuki:

Love takes work

Best friends to lovers

Second chances/Broken things can be repaired

Love is a choice

You improve with age

Shared experiences build love

Pining

Working together with your partner to create a mutually satisfying life together

Your partner enriches your world, but your independence is maintained

Banter

Dumbassery

There is also some degree of character interpretation at work, too-- there seems to be a huge degree of disagreement between fans as to whether:

a) Ichigo enjoys his normal, human life, and even though he do anything to protect what he loves, he would prefer to live a human existence with his human friends and family. He credits Rukia will helping him realize his strength and powers.

b) Ichigo is unsatisfied with his human life and that meeting Rukia opened the doorway to a life of excitement and adventure, on top of being given the strength to protect his loved ones.

As far as Ichigo pairings go, I think that most IchiHime people fall in category (a) and most IchiRuki (and GrimmIchi) shippers fall in (b). In both cases, peoples’ ships align with their view of what makes Ichigo happy. Most IchiRuki content I have seen  seems to feature Ichigo moving to Soul Society, rather than Rukia moving to Karakura. Rukia pretty explicitly indicates at the end of the Soul Society Arc that she wants to stay in Soul Society, plus she’s got a pretty established life there. Contrast that to the story of Isshin and Masaki-- Isshin seems pretty flippant and disaffected about his life in Soul Society; it doesn’t seem like it was a particularly hard choice for him to give up being a shinigami. Also, it’s pretty clear that what Isshin did was illegal, and I’m not sure there would be an easy way for Rukia to just say “WELP, I’m off to live as a human, smell you jerks later.”

To try to wrap things up, I think the actual dynamics of an IchiRuki or RenRuki relationship would be very similar, actually. They would banter a lot and dive headfirst into danger and support each other no matter what. Byakuya would treat either guy with the vaguest, most grudging amount of respect. The primary perpetual, unresolved argument between Rukia and Ichigo would be “The Living World is dumb/Soul Society is dumb”, whereas with Rukia and Renji, it would be “Squad 6 is dumb/Squad 13 is dumb wait no I didn’t mean that Captain Ukitake is an angel.”

Personally, I headcanon Renji as being more able than Ichigo to step back and be the support person in the relationship (see that bullet about Ichigo being the protag), so I think that RenRuki could manage to run a functional household, whereas Ichigo and Rukia would just go on adventures until they got arrested for tax evasion.

*For the record, I am very pro-IchiRenRuki, except that they would be even worse at running a household. It’s just Renji trying to explain how a chore wheel works while Rukia and Ichigo walk out the door on him.

[alinaastarkov]

You need to learn how to read. I never said Arya couldn't become a good queen,(I think she has some good characteristics for it). I said her ARC doesn't have strong foreshadowing for monarchy and leadership, the way other characters do. Arya's arc is primately driven by the themes of revenge, forgiveness, acceptance, family, loss of identity, etc... not ruling. The funny thing is that Arya HERSELF doesn't want to become queen, so I'm confused on why her "fans" want her to be unhappy so badly.

I was going to start this answer all civil and say that yes I read it wrong my bad. But after seeing how you began this ask? Fuck it. Civility has not been earned.

Now, I did actually talk about Arya’s arc, as well as her character, but if you want queen foreshadowing in her arc, then I have one, very huge, thing to say to you: Nymeria.

(This sort of got away from me so I’ll put the rest under the cut)

For a start, Arya is basically a reincarnation of Nymeria of Ny Sar, the Queen of the Rhoyne who led her people to safety across the Narrow Sea. They both had people to protect, are both coming to Westeros from across the sea, both magical and both perfect for ruling. Hell, Arya even named her direwolf after the woman, which brings me to second part of this: Nymeria the direwolf. Arya’s wolf is currently leading a pack of thousands of wolves across the Riverlands, protecting them and acting as their ruler. We know the direwolves’ fates and names mirror that of their owners’ paths, so we can gather that Arya will soon be a leader of some kind, most likely a queen given the name. None of this is an accident, just as Sansa’s direwolf dying was also not an accident. Also note GRRM said that Nymeria was a queen in a similar way to Daenerys, rather than a soldier like Brienne.

I touched on foreshadowing before, but seeing as you can’t seem to read I’ll bring it up again: Ned says Arya will marry a king, her direwolf is named after a queen and is leading a pack of wolves, she thinks on Ned’s lessons on northern values as much as Jon and Bran, all of which are about leadership, she always tries to find her ‘pack’, the literal old gods speak to her, something that happens to no-one else ever, and tell her to be strong because she is a daughter of the north, Varys’ quote about Aegon and how well he is suited to ruling fits perfectly for Arya - literally all of it applies, she is learning epic skills for diplomacy and politics in Braavos, not to mention stuff about poisons which will keep her alive when she becomes someone worth poisoning, Varys also says ‘a king must put his people first’, something Arya does so many times that I can’t even list them (seriously, you’re telling me “she would make much better time on her own, she knew, but she could not leave them. they were her pack” doesn’t scream leader to you?), she makes friends and inspires loyalty wherever she goes, the featherbed song (written specifically for Arya and Gendry - I’m not a gendrya shipper but there’s no ignoring that this song is for them) mentions the woman wearing a crown, she upholds northern values like there is no tomorrow, and, in case ya didn’t hear, the only time any god speaks in the entire series is to Arya to encourage her to keep going.

Also Sansa wants to ‘make’ people love her but Arya is doing it effortlessly by just caring for them without even thinking, and seeing as that is your fave who you think is perfectly set up to be queen, and she thinks this is how to be a good queen, I thought I’d mention it.

Now, you mentioned Arya’s themes. I’m going to immediately scratch ‘revenge’ off that list because that’s not what her arc is about. Justice? Yes. Revenge? No. But, seeing as that is your list, let’s look at those themes in terms of queenship.

What would be the best revenge against the people who killed the King in the North and tried to obliterate her entire family? Why, finding the rest of her living relatives and continuing Robb’s legacy as Queen, of course! In terms of family, like Nymeria and her pack, Arya could protect them if she was queen and actually keep them close as she has been trying to do this whole time. Forgiveness and acceptance? Of herself, others? Either way, knowing that so many people cared for her and have been trying to win back the North in her name will help her accept herself and forgive the northerners for not helping her in her need, and it’s really only her own self-esteem issues that make her think she is unworthy of the office. Same with identity, Queen in the North would just be the culmination of her coming to terms with her own identity as Arya Stark. Ruling is part of her arc, for all of the dozens of reasons I have already said. And, I know I’m not perfect, so... there are probably more I’ve forgotten.

We don’t know how Arya feels about being Queen, though, do we? She doesn’t want to be a lady, i.e. the kind of lady that is expected of her at the beginning of the series. Being queen is totally different. They have never had a Queen in the North before, it is a role she can define for herself, and given her quintessentially northern values, she would do an amazing job. But she never thinks about leadership, or much of want she wants after the war, because she doesn’t have time to. She’s running for her life, she can’t think of anything but how she is going to live the next day. The minute she gets a chance to rest and think, without grappling with identity issues, then we can start discussing what Arya does or does not want.

We want Arya to be happy. And it’s not a stretch to think that being Queen, in her own way, wouldn’t make her happy. Enough of the quotation marks thank you very much. 

[kpoptrashmx]

A Misunderstanding: Lee Minho Soulmate Au Pt.3

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while since I posted for this series and I would like to apologize for that. In the past couple of years, I have had things happening in my life for the good and the worse which has affected my overall health. Because of that, I was never in the right headspace to continue this series. But every now and then, I’ll get notification that people have read my series which makes me happy. Now, that everything is okay with me, I have decided to continue writing and finishing up this series. There will be another part to this with an epilogue in the end so do look out for that! But for now, do enjoy the continuation of this series, part 3 of A Misunderstanding!

PS: It’s been a while since I’ve written so that quality might be bad...

PSS: If you have any questions or requests do leave them in my box, I’ll be sure to read and write them because I have nothing else to do during quarantine now

But anyways, do enjoy reading!

- Iman

_______________________________________________

Genre: Romance, Soulmate Au, Themes of Hanahaki Disease, Slight Angst

Pairing: Lee Minho (Stray Kids) x Reader

Word Count: 3195 words

Description: Y/N and Minho have been best friends for their entire life and have bonded as soulmates but there is one problem within this fantasy. Minho has been blinded and tricked by a fellow classmate by making him believe that he is her soulmate. A replica of Y/N and Minho’s soulmate bond has been tattooed on her body in spite of stealing him away from his original lover to fulfill her needs and crush on him. Now, if Y/N doesn’t find a way to bring Minho back to reality and become an official couple before the end of their high school careers, she will have to suffer from internal and external pain for the rest of her life because of the separation from her one and only. Will Y/N be able to make her best friend and her soulmate realize that she’s the one for him before it’s all too late? Or will she have to suffer the life-long consequences?

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2

_______________________________________________

Minho’s POV

“Minho have you heard of soulmates? My grandma told me that two people who have the same mark on their body and fall in love with each other when they get older!” “That’s cool! I wonder if we have a mark or the same mark!” I remember hearing Y/N talk about the concept of soulmates when we were younger and it always intrigued me. After my mark was visible on the side of my torso, I always walked around town pulling up people’s sleeves and taking a quick glance at their arms to find a mark that was somewhat similar or identical to my own, however I couldn’t find anyone with any marks with birds flying and a bouquet of flowers so I started to lose faith and hope in the whole idea of soulmates. When senior year came along, I found Seoyun, my soulmate. I was ecstatic to finally find my soulmate after 17 years of finding them, but it affected my friendship with Y/N so badly I have caused her so much damage and pain. All this time, I was blinded by a girl who wanted me for my popularity and skills rather than falling in love with a gain who knew me inside and out and was always there for me no matter the time of day or the place I was at. However, I only realised my mistakes after seeing my best friend suffering alone at the hospital with a chance of either dying or losing all emotions due to her diagnosis of Hanahaki Disease. In order to find out more about my mistake and to learn in-depth, I decided to go back to the countryside quickly to visit my grandparents and the local shaman to talk about this issue. 

An hour bus ride back to Gimpo from Seoul is enough time for me to read the book Jennie gave me when we saw each other in the hospital. She told me to read it in order to understand what soulmates are and the consequences of soulmate rejections. I remember seeing this book in my parents’ house because of their special bond. My mother and father consequently are soulmates and they found out about their faith in college and got married a few years after the whole incident. When I get back, I want to talk to both of them about their experiences with the whole concept of soulmates. Anyways here we go, hopefully by the end of this, I can understand fully about this concept Y/N dearly loved ever since she was a child, fix my mistakes and make it up to her no matter what it takes. 

Gimpo Station, Gimpo Station. We will be arriving at Gimpo Station shortly. 

Well, that’s my station, hopefully both my grandparents and parents are home so that I can talk to all of them. I need to do this quickly before something bad happens to Y/N while I’m out. I make my way to my small house where I used to grow up in in the countryside, a lot of memories flash through my mind especially my memories with Y/N. The playground reminded me of the times where I would play at the swings with Y/N and push her from behind, I still here her scream “Push me higher! I want to touch the skies'' in my head. Makes me chuckle knowing that sometimes she’d lose her grip and fall on her face. Damn… she means a lot to me but I’m so lost, confused and blinded. I walk through the gates of my house and open the doors, a familiar smell of the house hits my nostril and brings me back to my childhood days, “Eomma, I’m home!” I reunited with my parents after 3 years of not seeing them because of my studies in Seoul and my dancing career under JYP Entertainment. Brief hugs and kisses are given but after all of that commotion, I pull both my grandparents and parents into the living so that we could talk about my problems and issues back in Seoul. “Eomma, Appa, I wanted to ask you about relationships and soulmate bonds in specific... Can you tell me about your story about how you met, how you got together. Also can you explain why this whole soulmate thing is really important and why people who are bonded should be other and not with other people?” 

“I see that you're having problems with Y/N and Seoyun, and you’re unsure who your real soulmate is. Don’t worry my child, we’ll help you find your true identity and loved one. I hope you have time on your hands because there’s a lot to talk about. So, sit down and pay attention to what we have to say.” 

After hours sitting down with my parents and finally understanding the concept of soulmates with their expertise, I have come to a conclusion that I have in fact messed up and caused great pain to the person that has been by my side since we were young and always supported my dreams. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for the pain and agony I have caused her but, I’ll do anything to make sure things are cleared between the both of us. I need to fix what I have caused and end things with Seoyun even if it means certain consequences. Before I take my leave back to Seoul, my parents give me their last advice and hand me a good luck charm hoping that I can mend things before things are too late.

“Minho, my baby, you need to know that the hanahaki disease may or may not take Y/N’s life after this considering the stage she’s currently in right now. It may hurt you and cause you pain after this as there were mishaps along the way that require consequences so do keep that in mind, but remember we’ll always be by your side and will help if you need anything from here onwards, okay?” My parents say while bringing me into a warm hug for support. I thank them and make my way out of the house and back to Seoul where I need to make things right with the girl I love. 

Y/N’s POV

Bright lights start coming into view and hushed noises start surrounding me as I wake up. 

“Hey babe, you’re finally awake. How are you feeling right now? Feeling better?” Jennie comes up to me from the chair across the room with a bottle of water in hand. I nod my head to her last question as my throat feels too dry to give a reply. “Here take this and drink up”

As I drink up the water she offers me, so many things start going around in my head. Am I okay? What’s going to happen to me after this? Is everything going to be alright? Am I even breathing properly? 

“Where is Minho?” I ask Jennie. 

She looked at me unsure of what to say which made me think he’s probably with Seoyun right now doing whatever. The thought of them together makes me so agitated that I started to cough out more flower petals in the process. Jennie looks at me frightened and runs out of the room in search of a nurse. As she leaves, I come to a decision that I can’t live like this anymore and decide to go through with the removal surgery regardless of the consequences that come with it. I look at the clock beside me and hope for whatever faith has in mind for my future.

Minho’s POV 

After arriving in Seoul after a long bus ride, I start making my way to Seoyun’s house to break things off with her and start fixing things with the girl I was supposed to be with a long time ago. Along the way, I start to think of ways to make it up to Y/N and how to apologize to her for all of the troubles and pain I have caused her. Seeing Seoyun’s house in the distance, I dash up to her front step hoping to end things quickly and make my way to the hospital. I knock on the door and wait a bit for her to come down. While standing outside, I hear her come down quickly and hear a slight tud.  

“Jagi what are you doing here? It’s late” Seoyun opens the door abruptly while looking slightly disheveled. I look at her up and down in confusion. While I am suspicious of her previous activities, I make my way into her home and sit on the couch telling her that we have to talk which makes her a bit uneasy. 

“Seoyun, just tell me the truth, are you really my soulmate?” I ask while I look up at her while she’s fixing her hair and shirt. “Of course, I am. Why are you asking that so suddenly? Why are we even talking about this right now? Can we talk about this tomorrow morning, I need to sleep babe”  She answers back. While I look at her I can tell she doesn’t feel comfortable and looks as if she wants me out of the house. Her uneasiness raises some suspicion in me and makes me think she’s hiding something from me.

“Why do you seem so uneasy and why do you want to talk about this tomorrow morning and not right now?” I ask her while taking some steps towards her. As she’s about to answer me, I hear a low voice talking in the background, “Babe, are you still talking to him? Are you not coming back upstairs?” I look around to see a head pop up at the staircase. Tensions start rising between the three of us and the puzzle pieces start coming together. 

Seoyun looks back at me and the figure at the staircase and seems to come to a realization that things have gone wrong. I look back at Seoyun in anger and start asking her who that man was and what was going on right now. She looks back at me in fear and has nothing to say to the situation that unfolded. While she’s flabbergasted at the situation, I look back at the man and start approaching him to find out what was going on. “Who are you and what are you doing in my girlfriend’s house?” I ask him. He looks back at me, “I was going to ask the same thing”. We both look back at Seoyun hoping to get an answer to our questions and that’s when the truth starts coming out for the first time from her.

“Okay stop, Minho, you’re not my soulmate. I was just using you because I wanted the fame and wanted to have more status at school. Also, I was jealous of the bond you had with Y/N so I wanted to take that away from you and have it all to myself. I didn’t know how to do it but I found that pretending to be your soulmate was the way to have my plans to go the way I wanted them too.” Seoyun confesses with no remorse on her face. She looks at the man beside me with love in her eyes  and quickly glances back at me “But now, since I found my true soulmate, I don’t need you anymore”. Her final sentences create so much emotion in my body that I didn’t know how to react. The man beside me could tell that things were settling in my mind and I was going to take action for her faults, so he reacted by holding me back before things went down. 

“I can’t believe you did this to me and Y/N! Because of your selfiness, she’s in the hospital hurt and suffering because of you and your selfish gain. You have a soulmate now and you know the consequences that come with it if you reject him. If you rejected him, he would be in the hospital right now contemplating whether he wanted his emotions removed, but no, you found a way to use me and find your true soulmate. But guess what? That’s what Y/N is going through right now because of your bullshit! You hurt me and Y/N, I hope you understand the problems you’ve caused!” I start screaming at her while thrashing around in the man’s grip. I look back at the man holding me to see some pain and regret in his eyes for the things his soulmate has done to two innocent people who were minding their own businesses. 

I jump out of the man’s hold and start making my way out of the house. Before I leave, I look back and say, “Seoyun, I hope you understand what you’ve done and let’s say things that you had in your plan will be crumbling down when I see you in school again.” With that, I walk out of the house and start making my way to the hospital to start fixing things with Y/N. I take out my phone and start looking through my contact list. “Chan, I’m on the way to the hospital. I broke up with Seoyun and found out the truth behind my relationship with her. Now, I need to fix my friendship with Y/N before it’s all too late.” 

Y/N’s POV 

Jennie manages to find a nurse who comes to help calm down my coughing fit and keep things in place for the time being. After she helps with my coughing fit, she starts to check my vitals to make sure everything is okay and to see if my condition is stable after what has happened. I looked at the nurse and asked her to bring my doctor in as I needed to talk to him about my decision. The nurse nods at my request and makes her way out of the room to find my doctor. After a while, the doctor makes their way into the room and takes a seat at the edge of my bed. 

“You called me in Y/N to discuss something?” The doctor asks. I look back up at him and say that I wanted to go through with the removal surgery. “Alright then, I’ll get the documents ready and we will go through with the surgery.” He touched my lower leg as a way of an understanding and support and made his way out of the room. I lay back on my bed and contemplate whether I have made the right choice. 

I heard a door swing open. I look up to see Chan and Jennie standing at the door catching their breaths. 

“Y/N please don't go through with the surgery please. It’s not worth it”. Chan and Jennie saying hoping to persuade me out of the decision I just made. “I can’t guys. I just told the doctors I wanted to go through with it. Plus, Minho is with Seoyun, I don’t have the power and strength to keep this up anymore. I need to get rid of the flowers in my chest even if it means no more romantic feelings.” I say as I look at the room around me too scared to look at them in the eyes.  “Y/N, Minho’s on the way to the hospital. You don’t have to do this. He said that he called it quits with Seoyun and wants to fix his friendship and build a relationship with you. He knows how much he fucked up and how blinded he was to not see that the love of his life was helping and aiding him the whole time and was right in front of him. He knows the whole soulmate thing by heart now and wants to make things right for you and him.” Chan says to me while making his way towards the bed. He takes my hand in his and looks me in the eyes and says, “Don’t go through with this surgery Y/N because now it will hurt the both of you.”  

I take my hand away from his grip and look at the both of them. 

“Sorry guys what’s done is done. I am going through this no matter what.” 

Minho’s POV 

After making it to the hospital, I get on the lift and make my way to Y/N floor. As the elevator doors open, I see a stretcher being taken away from a familiar room, and realize who was on that stretcher. “Y/N don’t please! I’ve come to make amends” I shout from the lift. As I shout, I see the doctors and nurse look back from the stretcher and point in my direction to show Y/N that someone was here for them. I see her head pop out from the strecther and lay right back down on it. I start running towards them and ask the doctors to give us a moment. The doctors agreed and walked away to allow us to settle some things. 

“Y/N I know I fucked up and I know I caused you so much pain without even realizing it, but I want things to work between us and restore the things we were supposed to do together as soulmates. I just broke up with Seoyun and found out the truth from her.  I know you might not forgive but please give me another chance so I can make it up to you. Please call off the surgery and let’s fix things together.” I begged while holding onto the handles of the stretcher. I feel a few tears running down my face as I try to hold in my sobs. I could help but feel like an asshole as I hurt the person that loved me more than anyone, and to see her goes through this surgery pains me even more. While sch thoughts are going through my mind, I feel a hand on my face wiping my tears away. I open my eyes to see Y/N with her arm out with a slight smile on her face. 

Before I could say anything to her, she spoke up. “Even after all the times we’ve been through together and even having those connecting thoughts or even finishing each other sentences, this took you a while to understand which makes me question if you’re really my soulmates.” She says while touching my face. She lets out a small giggle which warms my heart.

I take her hand in mind and I look straight into her eyes, “Y/N I know I’m in the wrong but I want to make things work between us even if it means damaging my health for you. We can make things work out and I finally understand that you’re the one for me. I’m sorry for what I’ve done. Please forgive me and call this surgery off. I’ll nurse and help you back into good health and fix things between us first, and you can decide our future together after that.” 

[popwasabi]

Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

 “Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU. 

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

 The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons. 

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

 “Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

  Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant. 

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

[outofcontextsimsmachinima]

Please god do you have recommendations on the best series to watch

Some of my personal recomendations that I can list from the top of my head, I will be writing a lot of text below so hold onto your horses.

My Life- NatalieFirexx

Still running to this day and in its 12th season. So amazing to see the growth over the years. The first seasons are so funny in a sense of knowing a little Christian emo kid made them, but later seasons have developed into such an interesting story with beautiful visuals, incredible cinematography and relationships that you end up caring about so deeply. Every season has a new storyline to follow and it's always so wild remembering all that's happened in its 10 year run and thinking up what else is to come. Though season 12 is said to be it's final season and I look forward to seeing what Natalie has in store for us after the finale.

The story of My Life follows the Andrews family and their friends in everyday shenanigans, you know, the usual: teen pregnancy, kidnapping, vampires, murder, identity theft, angels, ghosts, hacked kids and love.

(There's also a My Life Abridged voice acting series of season 1 currently in the works, now at episode 5)

Smooth Criminal - SaltPepperSims1408

I always have fun rewatching this. Its only 2 seasons long and once again, a sims series that evolved over it's run. Following Abby as her life goes from normal (if you can call your illegal scientist parents experimenting on criminals in your basement normal) to having visions of her parent's test subject's past and joining his gang where hes the leader and battles a disease that gives him 10x the strength and intelligence of a regular human being. Catch is, this genetic disease is rare and makes you go insane. Most people with it end up insane by 30.

A series with a lot of guns, a badass female main protag, death, once again, teen pregnancy (which will be a common sims series theme), fun dream/vision sequences and in my opinion has a great sense of humour.

SaltPepperSims1408 also has a highly recommended voice over series (though incomplete) titled Apokalypsis, a group of young adults/teens trying to survive in an apocalypse.

CINDER - GrayLeeStudios

Based on the book CINDER by Marissa Meyer. Cinder is a beautifully made voice over series, great visuals, wonderfully told it's story, though it is incomplete at 5 episodes, each running 10-18 minutes. Loosely based on the original Cinderella story but in a futuristic Beijing, adding robots, a colonization on the moon and a deadly plague that has affected the Emperor.

The protagonist is the mechanic, Lihn Cinder. Despite how well known her work as a mechanic is, she is looked down on for being a cyborg and is presented for plague research where she and Prince Kai become closer.

Y O U T H - 1998sims

YOUTH is a retelling of Youth, also a sims series by the same creator that reached its second season before discontinuing. Already a series that dealt with real life issues and involved a lot of representation in its characters. YOUTH is a different experience with all new characters, even more representation and everyone still feeling real in a way where their identities don't define them but are in NO WAY erased at all, like they're real people. When comparing the two series you can see the similar storyline but now its so much fresher and with new characters, their decisions in these situations change. Follows the story of multiple characters in their teen years and learning to deal with being a teen or in some cases having to make adult decisions despite that. Currently up to episode 5 but there is still so much more to come.

1998sims is also the creator behind Avoiding Fate, Its Complicated (currently not available online) and the most iconic series that I HIGHLY suggest you watch; My Sims 2 Emo Teen Pregnancy Kidnapping Story

SOUP - SimFilm

This sims 3 voice over series is brand new, as of this month, with one episode released but I'm already in love with it. It has this deadpan sense of humour I can get behind and I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes. It appears the episodes will be short and sweet but I really don't mind at all.

Our protagonist, Harris Gold, alphabetizes his life's misfortunes like a can of alphabet soup.

I quote "looks pretty decent on the outside, but when you open the can, you'll simply want to kill yourself"

The filming is wonderful, I love the voice actors and how well they play their roles, the story so far is fun and silly but deals with really strong issues other teenagers might have experienced growing up. Kind of like laughing the pain away and I adore it.

Raison D'etre - Cornymio

I haven't watched a lot of sims 4 machinima if im to be honest (since life to death stories are so rampant on YouTube at the moment and I'd rather just avoid them) but this series was very well made. Only 2 episodes but the voice acting is amazing, the sims custom animations are wonderful and at times the sims can be almost perfectly lip synced to the voices. Has an indie film vibe that I adore, very calming and I adore the camera work. This is a revamp of the creators old Sims 3 series by the same title.

Reine Reynolds enrols herself into a new school, here we meet a variety of students who are all relatable in one way or another with different relationships amongst themselves. A nice watch and won't take long to get through.

Marry Me! - Tickled007

This is actually a companion piece to Marry You by Maot Productions. Marry You has more episodes and progressed it's story much further but personal preference I like Marry Me!'s characters and humour better. Not a fault to the creators though, since I believe they wrote both stories together and I do still recommend you go watch Marry You as well, just my personal taste. I also watched this very recently which is probably why it's on my mind rn.

Marry Me! Is a 2 episode long (so far) voice over series that's quite high energy, it's about a loud "bitch" fashion designer called Serafie and a "pushover" called Carmion. Two opposites that somehow cross paths and after a money hiccup, Seraphie demands that Carmion marry her. I love how silly it is, very kdrama inspired. If you can get past the overused swooping sfx in episode one (which drove me insane but will go away in episode 2) I think it's super enjoyable.

Tickled007 is also the creator of Passcode Unknown, Too Popular and And... Obvious.

I feel it unfair not to mention Maot Productions other creations either since they were also a big part of the Marry Me! Marry You project. They created Sense Me Not!, Corrupted Souls, Cruel Temptation and Retribution

Other simmers and their series that I highly recommend but realise this ask is going to get extremely long

EkolarasMagnum

Their series tend to have this grungy highschool feel to them but I get behind it. They're known for their more interesting sims style, some people love it, some people hate it but it shouldn't get in the way of the interesting stories. I used to adore their work so much as a teenager!

- Advocated

- Strangers

- Volatile

PumpkinsAtTheDisco

Made a variety of sims series based on books (before these same books were made into films) such as the Hunger Games. This creator is incredibly talented from filming, writing to composing their own music. You can really see their improvement over the years too. I love their work.

- The Hunger Games

- Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children

- Dimension 17

- Post Icarus

- Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

StarsToShinex

Their concepts are fun and they have good voice actors. Their filming and editing is nice but their work does have an anime feel if that's more your taste.

- Spotlight

- My guardian

- My guardian- the next chapter

- Seeking Faith

- The last day

MajesticFilms

Their aesthetics are lovely, they make a lot of visually pleasing machinima. I admire their editing.

- Paper Boats

- Arsonist's Lullaby

- Sounds of Silence

- Machinima playlist

ViNtAgELovv11

Still works on videos now and I adore their work, been around for 10 years and only continuing to improve. I believe their most known series wou lkd have to be wasteland but please check out their newer works too!

- Scum City

- Wasteland

- Wonderland

- Runaway

- ROADS

There are so much more and i might make a pt.2 or something along those lines one day since this ask is getting long. But I also have a list of simmers and series on my navigation page if you want to search through some more works.

[thoughtsofa20somethingyearold]

How to be happy Happier: 6 Habits to Adopt for a Happier You!

Over the last few days, I’ve really been thinking about how much my mindset has changed for the better since the start of this year and how much happier it has made me! This in turn has inspired me to write about it, and while I’m no expert on these things, I think it can be useful to know that you’re not alone in how you feel and there are ways to help make it better! Obviously, if you feel that you may have a mental illness or something similar, it is definitely best to seek professional care.

Before my “big change”, I almost constantly felt stressed, anxious and was pretty much always putting myself down for my looks, how much work I did (or didn’t do), what other people thought of me etc etc etc especially since going to university. I think I fell into a bit of a rut, particularly in my first year, going through the ordeals of living in a new city where I didn’t know anyone, trying to cope with the seemingly endless deadlines and trying to balance work and studying whilst still maintaining a social life…Honestly it’s all harder than it looks!

So, on New Year’s Eve, I made myself a resolution to start focusing more on myself and improve the way I dealt with things that came my way.

Here are the 6 ways I went about helping myself live a happier life…

Be grateful

Now this isn’t the kind of “Get over it, there are kids starving in the world” grateful that some people tend to force on you when talking about your problems. I’m talking about being grateful for the things that personally affect you.

By focusing on what is going well in your life and savouring those moments, even for just a minute, it can really put things into perspective. I’ve found keeping a log of things I’m grateful for every time I feel sad or anxious has really settled my moods… it could be something as simple as a comfy bed or being able to spending time with your pet but it just goes to show that more often than not, the good outweighs the bad that’s going on.

Meditation- particularly self-love courses and positive affirmations

While meditation may not be for everyone, it’s definitely worth a try! Over the last 7 months, I’ve followed many meditation courses but the one that struck home the most was the self-love courses.

I feel like self-love is something everyone has struggled with at some point in their lives. I’ve been really trying to change the way I see myself and how I talk to myself (I promise I’m not a crazy woman) and by following these mediations, I’ve really noticed a huge difference in my self-esteem. Granted, there are still off days, it wouldn’t be human to feel amazing all the time! But it’s about learning that we are more than just our clothes, our looks and our thoughts and learning how to put distance between those negative thoughts and ourselves in order to have a more rested and confident mind state.

In my opinion, changing that little voice in our heads from “I’m so ugly” to “Everyone is beautiful in their own way” or “I’m not as smart as them” to “I might not understand X , but I know a lot about Y” is such a life changing skill and allows you to accept those “flaws” as new strengths.

Acknowledging bad moods

A bad mood isn’t like a cut or scrape that you can just cover up temporarily with a plaster, it’s more than that. You have to address these emotions! Of course, the only reasonable solution seems to be avoiding negative emotions because well they don’t feel good but in the long term it only makes these problems much bigger.

Now, what I’m about to say may shock you but in my experience, feeling bad can actually be a good thing! Once you come to terms with what triggers these feelings and understanding what your coping mechanisms are, it becomes much easier to learn how to control your moods and change up how you cope if it’s something that could be more damaging than helpful.

One of the ways I’ve learned to do this, is by visualising my problems as a different person. By giving it an identity that wasn’t my own, I’ve been able to distance myself from it and make better judgements on how to deal with said problem as well as being able to comfort and give advice to myself as I would if it were one of my friends.

Music – make happy playlists

When I was feeling sad, I would instinctively put on a sad playlist and just wallow in it. Unsurprisingly, this never made me feel better. Even on the average day I listen to music 24/7 and never really stopped to notice how it made me feel until one day when boredom struck me and I decided to organise my one giant “songs I like” playlist into separate mood-themed playlists. Who knew that upbeat music stimulates your brain to release those feel-good hormones? (Just common sense that passed me by? Okay then…)

Whether you’re into pop, rock, EDM or alternative genres, you can rely on your favourite song to make you feel happier, even if you’ve had the worst day.

Here’s some links to my personal favourites for feeling good, getting motivated and even having a little boogie in the shower:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0ZykvqL8a4j3V5BjRCBXLG?si=A8Ky8BxAS3GgyhhSf3uDWg

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/11CAEqfxaFicMCEMI6uW1v?si=hJDPu7BNTg-2RIQhEkh-6w

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2IccZrgTOrWYFiWDhF3zah?si=FGcZXlZMRwWSTxsI6nvDVw

They are collaborative so if you feel like I’ve missed something significant from them, add them on!

Get into nature

I’ve always loved going for walks and more recently running. Just being outside in the fresh air and exploring the world around us. This has only grown over the course of lockdown as I’ve found myself going out much more frequently and for much longer periods of time in order to combat anxieties about the uncertainty of the world right now.

I find that going with friends/family, is a real mood-booster as you get to spend quality time together and really focus on what matters to you but sometimes you just need that all important alone time, and there’s nothing better than taking a stroll alone!

When everything is quiet you can just take in what is surrounding you and your mind goes blank, completely at ease. It becomes hard to focus on those problems that were buzzing around in your head 5 minutes ago.

However, from time to time, these thoughts might not go away so easily, and that’s okay! Even in this situation, going for a walk/run or whatever allows you more space (literally and mentally) to think about how to deal with the issue and come up with more rational solutions.

Self-care routines

Who would you say you spend the most time with? Your parents? Friends? Well you’d be wrong…it’s yourself! Day in, day out you are the one who experiences your life, your attitudes, your feelings, and everything else so it’s super important to keep yourself healthy!

In case you’ve been living under a rock, self-care is anything we do deliberately to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Pretty vague huh? This could be anything from a bit of exercise to knitting yourself a jumper.

In my opinion, self-care is such a simple concept, yet I believe it can be harder to put into practice than it seems. Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time trying to follow my self-care routine, as it’s time I could be spending working or studying and I don't doubt that many other people feel the same. However, it is so important to understand that self-care is an UNSELFISH act that we all need in order to look after ourselves and avoid burning out.

I think many people do want to focus on their self-care, but find it difficult to know how, so these are some of the ways I have found that effectively allow me to practice self-care. Although, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are right for everyone, but just because something doesn’t work doesn’t mean you should give up! It’s a total trial and error to find what personally helps you!

My top self-care strategies:

Luxurious bubble baths with relaxing music and maybe even some candles if I’m feeling in an extra “treat yourself mood”

Yoga classes – My friend had got me into this around November time and I haven’t looked back! It was such a relaxing way to destress for an hour.

Mindfulness meditation – My words of advice, don’t give up if you still feel your mind races rather than settles… it takes time and practice to be able to meditate!

Mindful colouring – This is one of my absolute favourites, it’s such a satisfying activity! Stick on some instrumental music and get the mood lighting going for optimal relaxation…

Watching a sitcom – Something that is light, funny, and doesn’t require too much attention is perfect for quick mood improvements!

If you still don't know what to do, I hugely recommend following BlessingManifesting on instagram/twitter whatever social media platform you have or go to her website! It's full of info/challenges you can follow for example this nice and easy one here:

I’ve tried to keep this as short and sweet as possible as I know how overwhelming it can be to read pages and pages of info that ultimately just falls out of your head and this is one of those topics I could probably talk about for days because of its importance.

I hope this has inspired you a bit to reflect on your current state of mind.

Maybe you’re already on your pursuit of further happiness or you’re just starting, but I’d love to hear about your journey! What’s been working best for you?

𝒰𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝒩𝑒𝓍𝓉 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒

Bethany x

[orionsangel86]

Season 14 – Desire and Happiness – Ongoing themes and Endgame flirtations

Right at the start of Season 14 we were presented with a question. “What do you want?” It was repeated, over and over again by Michael, as well as Sam in Andrew Dabb’s premier episode:

The themes of this season have been quite clear. They are about identity, desire, choice, and finding ones place in the world. What is it that these characters want out of their lives? How do they view themselves? What desires do they have and what makes them happy?

Over the course of the season so far, the question “what do you want” has developed into an exploration of happiness and what it means. Specifically, the impression of happiness vs actual happiness.

This started predominantly in 14x08, with Castiel agreeing to a deal with the Empty Entity that he would be taken right when he “finally gives himself permission to be happy”. This textualised something that has been present in subtext for several seasons for Castiel; that he never allows himself pleasure. Specifically it has been a recurring theme of Dabb era that Castiel is holding back. Remember Lucifer’s words in 12x07:

“I was inside you. I know what a weak, duty-bound, pleasureless dullard you are”.

It was also subtly hinted at in 14x01 in this conversation between the demon Kipling and Castiel:

KIPLING: Castiel, you sure I can’t get your anything hot and black?

CASTIEL: Coffee has no affect on me.

KIPLING: Hm. Me either. You know, not anymore, but it’s like saltwater taffy or infants -- you know, I just like the taste.

Kipling, like Castiel, isn’t affected by coffee. Unlike Castiel, Kipling drinks it anyway because he enjoys it. he derives pleasure from it. Wouldn’t Castiel also derive pleasure from coffee? Perhaps, but he won’t even allow himself the chance to try it.

The subtextual theme has been mainly shown through his refusal to ever accept offers of food or drink (it is worth noting that food and drink have been symbols of pleasure taking in the show since day 1, specifically the metaphor can be applied to Dean who uses pleasure as a distraction technique and Sam who also limits the pleasure he allows himself and only partakes in very controlled circumstances – see any Sam x food meta as it is fascinating).

For Castiel, happiness is something he can’t allow himself to have, so a HUGE question that the season has now given us is just what WOULD it take for Castiel to allow himself happiness?

This question goes hand in hand with the opening question of the season “What do you want?” What does Castiel want? Well, it does seem like there is at least one creature out there who knows the answer to that:

The happiness theme continued in 14x10, by presenting us with a Dean, trapped inside his own head, distracted by a vision of contentment by Michael in order to prevent him from fighting against possession. Dean reiterates over and over that Rocky’s Bar is all he’s ever wanted. That it’s his dream. But the truth is that this is an unhappy, lonely life. As an audience we are meant to contemplate just how miserable this empty bar in a storm must be, especially when it is made very clear that Dean has no one to share it with.

The conversation with Pamela touches on the theme of want again when she asks the following:

“How come you only want what you can’t have? Besides you don’t want me, you just like to flirt. I’m psychic so I kinda know.”

It’s in the negative space, but it’s still pretty clear. If Dean doesn’t want Pamela, what does he want instead? 

This dream bar of his doesn’t even come close to Dean’s true happiness. If it did, then that question “What do you want?” would have been answered. 

(Though on a deeper level it might be worth taking a listen to that song that kept playing on repeat)

Instead, we get closer to knowing Dean’s true feelings in 14x13, though also indirectly. Dean makes a wish on the pearl which was supposed to free him from Micheal, instead it brought back John Winchester and started changing the world around them. 

Dean desired to see his father again, but upon realising what it meant he would give up (Cas and Jack and his current family) he knew he had to reverse the spell. Dean reiterates his true feelings twice in the episode:

(x)

(x)

This makes it clear that at least the path to happiness lies in the present, and the potential future Dean can have with his current family. His happiness doesn’t lie in his past, nor in some hypothetical “apple pie life” his father dreamed up for him.

The theme of want and happiness for Dean is an interesting one, because his actual wants and desires are never addressed directly. Like with how Amara thought Mary was what he needed when what he really needed was to remove the weight he has carried since her death - that he was forced to grow up too quickly.

Like with Mary’s resurrection, what Dean desired from the pearl wasn’t John Winchesters return, but a chance to put to rest the shadow of his past, as he so aptly discussed earlier in 14x05 with Sasha (in another episode written by Meredith Glynn so you know it is meant to connect):

“Let it go. The past is... There's nothing you can do about it now, so it's just baggage. Let it go. You'll feel a lot lighter.” 

Dean’s desire was to let go of his own baggage, and by confronting John Winchester in 14x13 he was finally able to do that, as well as put his fathers ghost to rest. 

Whether or not the show will now continue to explore Dean’s true pursuit of happiness remains to be seen, but it does appear to be moving in that direction. 

14x15 once again explores this theme of the impression of happiness vs actual happiness. This time though its all for Sam. 

Sam comes to the pleasantville-esq town of Charming Acres and is practically immediately taken in by the picturesque apple pie life presented to him. He is manipulated by the Mayor of Charming Acres into forgetting who he is and instead plays a role of a happy husband to an idealistic 1950s style wife. He was forced into a fake happiness. In fact, fake happiness was exactly what this episode was all about:

MAYOR CHIP: The world  kept getting worse, and they called it modernisation and no matter what I did, people would turn to drink or drugs, they’d move away. They just weren’t happy.

...

MAYOR CHIP: I remade this town. I gave everybody new names, new lives. I made everybody happy.

Chip inflicted his own very limited view of happiness onto everyone around him, including Sam, who clings on to the fake happiness just as Dean initially clung onto to his “dream” bar: 

But Cas was able to snap Sam out of it by invoking his family, the people who love him and need him. Just as Cas pleaded with Dean and made those all important cracks in the fantasy in 14x10 before Sam finally pulled out the trigger word. Just like how in 14x13 the Winchester family reunion was nice for an evening, but it wasn’t truly real. Because Cas wasn’t there, Jack wasn’t there. Dean didn’t have his TRUE family with him, and because of that John had to go. 

In 14x15 Dean asks Sam about his happiness:

DEAN: Really happy huh?

SAM: I mean I guess I was happy, but, it wasn’t real. You know.

DEAN: Well, not a lot of happy going on around here.

SAM: I hate this place right now. I hate it. Everywhere I look I see them. I see Maggie. I guess its why I am so desperate to get out of here. why i kept running as ragged. But I gotta stop that, i can’t keep running. This is my home. This is our home. Dean I just think I need some time.

Sam clung to that fake happiness because he couldn’t see any real happiness in his real life, but he admits at the end that the bunker, and the people in it, are his home and he just needs time. Which is far healthier than running. 

The message presented in this particular theme appears to be that Sam and Dean are on a similar pursuit of happiness, where they have both now had a taste of a fake empty happiness that didn’t actually give them what either of them truly want. Neither of their “fake happy” experiences answered that all important first question. 

Just what do they want?

Castiel however, instead of being on a pursuit of happiness, is running in the opposite direction. Continuously denying himself any semblance of pleasure that could lead to his untimely demise. 

What does Castiel want? I think even Cas himself is afraid of the answer to that question.

Instead of answering these questions, the show continues to show us what the characters do not want. Which is why its important to pay attention. Sam appeared happy leading the AU!Hunters, and he is clearly devastated to have lost them, so perhaps Sam is the easiest to answer for. He already began the season in a pretty good place. After all, Mary textually states that leading is something Sam was born to do. (Is anyone else getting boy!king Sam flashbacks?) We know that Sam certainly doesn’t want that apple pie life because that was exactly what his fake happy place was. Sam seemed completely happy in the bunker playing Chief before everything went wrong. Sam’s issue going forward may be his struggle to rebuild that level of confidence among hunting parties beyond the AU!hunters that Sam came to view as his people. But this is just speculation.

The one thing that is extremely obvious when it comes to Dean’s happiness, is that his family is around him. Dean needs his family close by. His lonely bar in the middle of a storm with his family far away is certainly not his real dream life. After 14x13 ended so symbolically with Castiel returning home to an emotional Winchester family, it is clear that Castiel’s presence is a huge factor in Dean’s happiness. But then we only need to watch the first 6 episodes of season 13 to see just how true that is. 

In my episode review for 14x10 I wrote this about Dean’s wants:

“ Why doesn’t Dean want the beautiful Pamela? Why has he conjured her up as unavailable in the first place? What is it he wants instead? These are all questions now being posed to the audience and kept unanswered. Though perhaps a good place to start searching for an answer is in the song that plays on repeat over the entire dream sequence. “Searching for a Rainbow” by the Marshall Tucker Band is a song specifically about a weary traveller who keeps moving in the hopes of finding a mystery lover at the end of the rainbow. Not exactly subtle, though surprising seeing as Supernatural continues to pump out the company line that romance isn’t welcome here. I guess that doesn’t stop Dean from subconsciously dreaming about finding love – though not with a beautiful woman apparently. No he just likes to flirt with them.” 

Dean’s endgame arc has been subtly hinted at throughout the show since Carver era began. It involves romantic love. Perhaps it hasn’t been textually stated yet, but the subtext is still very much pushing it this direction. I expect that eventually when posed with the question “what do you want?” Dean may simply answer the same way that Jamil did in 14x01: “peace and love.” But Dean certainly won’t be lying.

This is why Castiel’s deal is also so significant. The only thing we know for certain about Castiel is that he has consistently shown that his dedication to the Winchesters and Jack come first no matter the cost. Like Dean, he is extremely loyal to his family and their well being. But is it enough? The evidence so far suggests not. Castiel just being with his family is not a big enough trigger for the entity to come and take him away, so whatever true happiness Castiel is denying himself, it is something greater than family. The Entity does appear to know the answer though. As in the gif example right at the start of this meta. The Entity brought up “love” showing that it was an important factor for Castiel. Could it be that love is what triggers the deal? 

Are both Dean and Castiel really in pursuit of love? 

My money is on yes. Obviously.

Though since these are endgame themes, they are unlikely to come to any conclusion within the next 5 episodes. I suspect that the exploration of want and happiness may come into play specifically in Jack’s upcoming arc, and his terrible choices which appear to reflect those of the Rit Zien class of angels. But as far as getting any of Dean, Sam or Cas to answer that all important question?

Well I’m pretty sure that’ll stay in the subtext for now. Though I would love to be wrong about that.

[racefortheironthrone]

Thoughts on Powers of X #6

It’s Not A Dream If It’s Real:

We start with an extended return to Powers of X #1, which might come off as somewhat self-indulgent if so much of the issue didn’t come down to an exploration of how this encounter between Charles Xavier and Moira X radically transformed Xavier’s life. We need a full page of Xavier walking happily through the forest, in other words, because we are seeing the last truly innocent moment in his life. 

One thing that I find more than a little frustrating is that, given their prominence in the circular framing device that Hickman uses, we’ve seen remarkably little of Rasputin, the Tower, and Cardinal. I’m really hoping they show up again in Dawn of X, although I recognize that it’s early days yet, because I feel like there’s a lot of unexplored potential there. 

One thing that really changes on this read is how we read Moira’s expressions in light of what the current and previous issue/s reveal about her motivations. You can really see that Moira feels way more ambivalent and regretful about what she’s about to do. 

What Happens When Humanity Stops Being Beholden To Its Environment?

But before we get to any of that, it’s time to close the books on our X^3 timeline. And while I’ve been rather critical of the pacing and characterization of this timeline in previous PoX issues, this is a significant improvement.

It begins with the Librarian going off to “feed the animals at the zoo,” confident that he’ll be unharmed because “my augmented brain is far more advenced than yours.” The Librarian’s intellectual arrogance and superiority complex - which (spoilers) will be his ultimate undoing, and quite possibly that of the Phalanx as well - is a running theme throughout this section.

Speaking of which, we get something of a debate where the Libratrian conintues to think of mutants as essentially mindless animals acting in “their nature,” whereas Logan insists on a language of resistance against slavery. Not surprisingly, the Librarian doesn’t have much have time for that kind of debate and instead wants to talk to Moira.

As befits both of their scientific natures, the two of them discuss the tension between “preservation” and “observation” in “controlled habitats” - and I’ll freely admit that I don’t know enough about zoology to have much of an opinion here. 

However, the Librarian really changes tack from the scientific to the reliigous when he lets them know that “the Phalanx will descend and absorb the entirety of our post-human society...what was once our post-human society will exist forever as part of that godhead.” Again, I think it’s majorly counting your chickens to assume you’ll be part of the godhead rather than food for the godhead, but that’s what happens when you really go in for Pascal’s wager in a serious way.

In a surprise no doubt built on eavesdropping on Moira to understand her mutant powers, the Librarian doesn’t want Moira to die before the translation, because he needs to make sure that “if you live past my becoming god, then -- existing beyond space and time -- we will know you, forever. And I think it very likely we would not tolerate something like you having any power over something like us.” Here is the first real threat to Moira since Destiny in Life 3, that for the second time there would be a hostile force that would know about Moira’s past lives who could act against her before she has a chance to prevent it. And the Phalanx/Dominion are way more powerful than just Destiny, which suggests that Moira’s motivations may be driven now by her perception of the ultimate threats to herself and mutantkind.

In a fitting end that pays more than a little homage to the philosophy of identity, the Librarian is undone by his doubts over whether "the universal machine state” is “a fake existence,” because his post-human abilities allow him to perceive material reality on a deeeeeper level, maaaan, so would he be as happy as just an uploaded consciousness, even one that he sees as godlike?

And here we get the link between the transhumanism/singularity stuff and Moira/Krakoa’s mission of preserving mutantkind: can mutants prevent post-humanity from arising, and escape the cage into which science has placed them? I think a lot of Krakoan policy, from the offer of Krakoan pharmaceuticals on down, is aimed at keeping humanity happy in its cage.

At the same time, we shouldn’t feel too bad about the Librarian’s burgeoning existential crisis, because he is still a pseudo-intellectual racial supremacist who’s just as convinced that technology makes him superior to the racial minority he’s holding subordinate as an Victorian or Enlightenment-era phrenologist. 

Let’s start with his argument that “mutants are an evolutionary response to an environment. You are...naturally occurring.” This is only kind of true, depending on which version of mutantcy’s origins one subscribes to. Even still, a reverse naturalistic fallacy is still a fallacy.

The more interesting idea, and it’s one I didn’t quite see coming is that post-humanity won when it used genetic engineering to make themselves superhuman, and used merely mechanical transhumanism - the Sentinels and Nimrods - to give themselves enough of a lead in the race against mutants that they could never catch up. Notably, this is not the scenario that took place in Life 9 - Nimrod the Lesser clearly didn’t have human afvancement in mind - so perhaps this is why humans need to be so careful about the Heller/Faust line.

Another important question that makes me question the rationality of post-humanity - if you have access to widespread genetic engineering, why not end the human/mutant conflict by switching everyone’s X-gene to positive? I feel like with the spread of CRISPR and similar technologies, this is a question that is going to have to be answered. (The answer is that bigotry is irrational by its very nature, but still.)

Proving once again that Monologuing Kills, Logan nails the Librarian to a tree with his claws - which prevents the Librarian’s knowledge from being incorporated into the Phalanx, and then kills Moira, which insures that the timeline reboots then and there, with the Phalanx getting none of post-humanity’s secrets.

Thus ends Moira’s Life 6...and I have to say I’m not really keen on the misdirect. Yes, it was likely that X^3 would be Life 6, since it was the one timeline we haven’t seen yet, but the misdirect requires you to believe that two Nimrods would capture Cylobel in the same way across the two timelines. The only thing that makes it feel less of a cheat is that apparently all the Cylobels look the same (which is something we saw more of in Life 9, so I guess), but that’s still a bit too close to feel satisfying.

Branching Humanity Infographic:

Speaking of infographics definitely written from a mutant perspective, this document really makes its perspective clear when it refers to humanity as an evolutionary dead end. (Which I’m not so sure about from a genetics perspective - we’ve seen before that humans can be carriers without expressing the x-gene, that the X-gene can spontaneously activate without parents who are carriers, that mutants and children can have children without difficulty, and that sometimes mutant-mutant pairings can result in non-mutant offspring, that doesn’t read like speciation to me. 

Homo novissima -is described as a “manufactured branch of humanity not restricted by normal evolutionary constraints,” which really plays into the naturalistic fallacy something hard. Arguably anyone who’s not lactose intolerant can be described as homo novissima under those standards.

The idea that really blew my mind is the idea that there is a “paradigm loop between organic and technological constructs,” such that advances in the one give rise to the other in a leap-frogging way. This is really different from Hickman’s Transhuman and how HoxPoX has depicted the stark divides between Krakoan and ORCHIS technologies. I wonder where Hickman’s new synthesis will lead us?

It’s Not a Complement:

At long last, we actually get to see what it was like for Charles Xavier to “read” not just a thousand plus years of memories, but a thousand years plus years of memories that are devastating to his entire worldview. Given how much this issue talks about Xavier being “broken,” I would count this as the first time.

Moira, who has thrown her “pragmatic” switch all the way into the red to have this conversation,” barely bats an eye at Charles’ existential crisis and instead pivots to her larger message that “hard truths are what’s called for when dealing with radical realignments to old ways of thinking.” 

The exchange that follows is extremely characteristic on both their parts: Moira is deeply pessimistic, stating that it’s not just that “we lose” but that “we always lose” (much more on this later); Charles, despite his initial shock is still a relentless optimist, thinking through scenarios that would allow him to continue his technocratic assimilationist vision of mutant rights.

In a very bittersweet move, Moira lays one on Xavier and lets him know that amidst all the complicated emotions she’s had towards him, “not once in all my lives have you changed...its not a compliment.” It is one of his most frustrating characteristics that Charles Xavier believes that, because he believes himself to be in the right even when he’s not, he’s incredibly resistant to change his mind. 

Hence why Moira believes “I have to break that part of you,” the part that believes “in the goodness of others.” This is a really significant point - Moira identifies Charles’ compassion, not his pride and intellectual arrogance, as his weak point that she will have to go all Ivan Drago on. This is kind of a problem, because Charles’ compassion has always been fighting a pitched battle with his utilitarianism, so stripping that away produces a man who will do anything for the greater good. 

The chief irony - and it’s one I’ve been surprised more people haven’t commented on - is that Moira’s decision here will directly result in what happens at the end of this book, because once you train someone like Charles to be paranoid and suspicious and even more of a utilitarian, he’s absolutely going to apply his new worldview on you. More on this in a bit.

A couple important things that are really worth keeping in the forefront of your mind when we get to the final confrontation: 

First, Moira is dead-on when she describes Erik Lensherr as “your shade,” because the two of them are mirror images and have been for a long, long time.

Second, Moira’s plan includes Xavier and Erik fighting her. 

Moira’s Journal Infographic:

Here we get an fascinating and frustrating infographic, as we get several pages from “Moira’s journal,” although to be honest it’s much more a Jane Goodall-style field notes on her attempts to influence the future by influencing the development of three men. (Which itself is a whole gendered thing, but also very much tied in to her observation and experimentation methodology in her earlier lives.)

Entry 5: “unlike myself, observation has not granted himself perfect recall of my past lives, and as I wil not permit him to read me a second time, he is now dependent on my interpretation of past-life events.” 

As with his mind-reading of Krakoa, despite Xavier being an Alpha-level telepath, he doesn’t quite get the whole of the picture when he reads (unusual?) minds. This is crucial in understanding the power dynamic between them - the only thing that allows Moira to keep the upper hand is that Xavier is temporarily “dependent” on her, and that he hasn’t yet decided to violate her personal boundaries. 

Also, the fact that Moira describes these psychic impressions - so key to Xavier and Magneto’s conversion to the cause - as “my interpretation” really raises the question of whether Moira is an unreliable narrator of her past lives...which is really quite scary given how much the whole enterprise rests on her being right about how things will go. More on that later.

But as I was saying above, one of the downsides of making Xavier even more of a morally grey actor is that it makes it way more likely that “he will even act against type” (and boy is Moira’s understanding of Xavier shown to be flawed by her belief that this would be against type as opposed to absolutely his M.O) by reading her mind without her permission.

All that Moira can hope for is that because she knows that “all he will be looking for is confirmation of suspicions he might already harbor,” she will be able to steer his inquiry away from things she doesn’t want him to know, although she does have a Plan B of coming totally clean.

Finally, as with the redactions, there is very much a running theme here (and throughout HoxPoX) of struggling over control of (imperfect) information at the heart of all conflicts. 

Entry 14: “while we have become romantic, it is becoming clear to me that I am breaking Charles Xavier. And if I do break him, how will he become the man I need him to be in the coming days.” 

Here Moira gets a little bit self-reflective, realizing that one of the downsides of her master plan is that you can’t “manipulate these men into doing what I needed them to do without any repercussions to myself.” Breaking Charles of his hope and idealism doesn’t, it turns out, make him any more controllable, because he’s going to act on his new nature, and Moira can’t guarantee that she won’t be the object of that action.

One interesting question that I’ve seen raised is whether Moira is referring to Onslaught here. How much of his (to be honest, really quite banal and skippable) turn to the dark side was due to repression and how much due to cultivating his worser nature?

Entry 17: “he had the most marvellous idea regarding the potential tandem of several mutants and what they could accomplish if they worked in harmony.”

I find this one particularly fascinating, because it gets at how the collaborative process of creating Krakoa came together. Charles is able to build on “the potential windfall of knowledge I represent regarding mutandom” to get the idea for the Resurrection system and the broader mutant power synergy approach to Krakoan technology; Moira then “used my experience in genetic modification” to figure out how to make the mutants the system required.

At the same time, my god does this entry make Moira and Xavier seem even more cold-blooded and unethical with regards to Proteus and Legion, because rather than those relationships coming as a “moment of weakness” (in Xavier’s case) they were pre-meditated. The only thing that makes this even slightly better is that, according to the timeline docs, Moira didn’t have a relationship with Joseph MacTaggart in her previous lives, so that she didn’t knowingly walk into an abusive relationship to birth a super-mutant. 

Entry 22: “Magneto...with him, loyalty is something that must be constantly earned. He allows for no deviation of intent -- no wavering of belief. The idea that there will not be setbacks, and that his constant anger will remained tamped down, is a fool’s dream.”

Speaking of unethical actions...Moira trying to mess with Magneto’s mind, given what she undertands as his character, strikes me as pretty damn “casual[ly] arrogan[t].”

Likewise, Moira sees it as a “positive thing of note” that she’s managed to “imprin[t] the idea of stronghold in his mind.” While she notes that “it has always been there” - and she’s not wrong that Magneto has a thing for island, asteroid, and other separated bases. At the same time, it does help to explain why Magneto is so particularly gung-ho on the idea of Krakoa, which makes him their biological last line of defense.

Entry 29: “Apocalypse has made himself known to the world. Knowing him the way I do, and having aligned myself already with Xavier and Magneto, recruitment will not be an option until a much later date.”

Moira’s attitude to her ex suggests that the big blue-lipped boy’s Social Darwinist rage is basically the result of him being “in his raw, primal state,” and that he’ll mellow out once he has “f[ou]nd something to build on.” 

We also get confirmation that the conflicts between various X-teams and [A] were quite real - although intended more at “the avoidance of an apocalypse event” than his destruction. More of a managed conflict, if you will.

Given [A]’s interest in recreating his Four Horsemen, I wonder who the Omega-level mutants he might have been looking for instead of the ones he ended up with.

Entry 48: “I have underestimated Xavier’s infatuation with the possibilities of what can be accomplished with mutant genetic material. Without my knowledge -- and against my advice -- both Charles and Magneto have traveled to Bar Sinister and recruited Sinister to our cause.”

This is the crux of the matter when it comes to the double-edged nature of breaking Xavier of his better nature; the more you do this, the more he’s likely to do underhanded stuff like this.

The central irony is that Moira’s complaint (as much as it resonates with women in the fandom as representing their own life experiences) that “what is this thing that men do, where they think they can shape the world to their liking - and bend others to whatever they will” absolutely describes Moira herself as well as Xavier and Magneto. 

One ominous note, re the ongoing theme about timetables and schedules, is that Sinister is already producing chimerae, so merely leaving him alone might not change the outcome.

Entry 52: “We have lost Magneto.”

Speaking of consequences to manipulation, we see Moira’s attempts to reshape Magneto to “help make him a better man” (perhaps someone who would play nicely wrt to the Krakoan project?) backfire horribly during the events of Mutant Genesis.

For a short entry, this actually gives a really good window into Moira’s psyche, in that she’s more than a little bit prone to depression, when we combine her previous comment that “we always lose,” the trauma she experienced in her previous lives, with her immediate reaction that “I am just as bad as they are. If not worse.”

Entry 57: “I have decided to remove myself from the world.”

See what I mean?

This entry ought to remind us about one of the key aspects of Moira’s powerset: Moira’s ability to predict the future is contrained way more than, say, Destiny. The more Moira acts to change variables and try to produce her good ending, the less of a guide her memories of her past lives becomes. More on this in a bit.

it’s also a good reminder that Charles and Moira have been testing out their “husk...backup” system much, much earlier than poor Pyro thinks.

Tea for Three:

There is something wonderfully theatrical about this three-hander scene in that it all revolves around power dynamics and reversals: Moira starts out quite confident, hands-on-hips, reminding Charles and Erik that she doesn’t need them (I wonder which “of mankind’s greatest culinary cities” she has a backdoor to?), which Magneto responds to with a jab at her cynicism towards “the common kindness of others” and “assuming there’s always another shoe to drop.”

This next exchange gives me a real sense that, at least as far as the secret plan to secure Krakoa’s future goes, the Quiet Council are only really there to ensure that they “won’t be a deterrent to our broader plans.” 

At the same timethe surface of collegial conviviality, everyone knows that “we’re all up to something” - note how quickly Moira goes from her confident posture to a more defensive crossing of her arms, even as Magneto shows off his dexterity with his powers, which is a nice visual detail in an otherwise very talky page.

One area of disagreement becomes quite clear: Xavier and Magneto really disagree with Moira about whether “we can do this without” Sinister. Once again I’m frustrated in not knowing what the Plan A was wrt to the genetic database.

But here Xavier really brings down the boom: “We promised to bring Destiny back.” This freezes Moira right up, and shows one of the main tensions in their (joint?) project, the conflict between radical unity and political necessity.

However, there’s a significant question mark about why Moira believes that “there can be no precogs on Krakoa.” On the face of it, Moira’s objection is due to her fear that Destiny might “tell everyone the truth” that “we always lose,” I don’t believe her for a second. I think Moira’s objection stems from their traumatic meeting in Life 3, and because Destiny “has ways of seeing me.” I think Moira is up to something that she doesn’t want Xavier and Magneto, let alone anyone on Genosha to know about, and doesn’t want Destiny letting the cat out of the bag.

Here’s where I think people slightly get things wrong about the state of play wrt to Destiny and the other precogs. While Xavier repeatedly says “we know,” I don’t think they’re actually agreeing with Moira so much as trying to patronizingly soothe her. After all, their final offer is that, while Xavier and Magneto will “put them all off” with “tomorrow, tomorrow, not today,” (paraphrasing a German rhyme from Erik’s childhood) eventually Charles and Erik will ensure that everyone will "know the truth.” This seems quite different from what Moira wants.

A remaining question: when did Charlex and Erik learn the whole truth, as Entry 5 suggested? Did they?

And here we get the core disagreement between Moira and Xavier/Magneto: she sees “the truth” as meaning “we always lose,” they see it as “until now we have always lost.” I have to admit I’m a little curious as to whether Moira really believes her own nihilistic message, because in that case, why go to all this effort, but I do think it’s importatnt that people remember that Moira’s powers at this point only let herself see backwards. The world has changed too much to predict the future.

Speaking of gender and condescension, though, the resolution of this argument is really pointed. On the one hand, Moira given credit for her contributions to Krakoa: “you shaped us into this, you made us into this, we are the perfect tools for an imperfect age.” On the other hand, she is very firmly ushered to the bench, because “now it is time for you step aside and let us do the good work for which we were created.” It does come across a bit like Adam talking to Herr Frankstenstein, as Moira’s manipulations come to bite her in the ass one last time.

And as mutant fireworks thunder overhead, Magneto and Xavier have one last confab, worrying about the future. Krakoa might not be enough to ward off mutantkind’s Ragnarok, but Xavier and Magneto are ready to do “whatever it takes” to see it through. 

AND WE”RE DONE!