#the way they illustrated her hallucinations....

[soforgetsummer]

jinx' hallucinations in arcane (episodes 4-9)

[casscainmainly]

My Top 10 Batgirl (2000) Moments

This is my list of top 10 Batgirl (2000) moments!! There were so many to choose from, but these are my personal favs :)). Counting down from 10 to my absolute favourite.

10. Volving

An absolute classic. Perfectly encapsulates what Cass does throughout the entire run, and more writers should play with Cass' use of language like this!

9. Beat Up Every Mob In Gotham

Perfect encapsulation of the early Barbara-Cass dynamic, and one of the funniest moments in the series. Just love the expressions and the way this shows so much of Cass' character.

8. Choosing to Write

The entirety of issue #2 builds up to this heart-wrenching moment. After delivering a dead man's final message to his wife, Cass sees the wife's reaction to the written message and decides to learn to write. A foundational moment for her character, and a nice motherly Babs scene too.

7. Alpha Redemption

Capping off issues 35 + 36, Batgirl unmasks herself to convince Alpha (an amnesiac villain) that he doesn't have to be defined by his past. Brilliantly displays her core belief that people can change, and the fact that her belief pays off makes this moment extremely moving.

6. For God's Sake

Possibly a controversial pick, but I really like this moment because it underscores some of the fundamental conflict between Babs and Cass. They love each other, but they don't always understand each other, particularly in regards to each other's disabilities. A painful moment that should have been explored more.

5. Fight For Your Life

My favourite Stephanie and Cass moment in this run. You can feel Cass' grief throughout this hallucination, but there's also so much hope and love (for Stephanie and for herself). It's an amazing conclusion to Cass' initial suicidal tendencies: instead of desiring death, she now actively fights to live.

4. Darknight Detectives

This interaction sums up a lot of Bruce and Cass' best moments. Cass' unwavering moral beliefs, Bruce's pride, their instinctive understanding of each other; they just get each other in a way few others do. I picked this one instead of the 'instinct/good answer' moment because it also marks Cass' development in her detective ability. From Moment 8 above to here, the confidence in her mental capacities has grown so much. She really volved!

3. Perfect For A Year

I mean of course this had to be here. These lines literally take up 90% of my brain space, it's an incredibly tense moment that illustrates Cass' desire to be perfect, her need to be useful and good. This issue is also just awesome.

2. You're... Not

Another absolute classic. Illustrates Cass' compassion and her belief that people aren't defined by their lineage, which is particularly personal to her, given her own dad. This struggle between good/bad, parent/child defines many of Cass' best stories.

1. Who Do You Think You Are? + Father's Day

What else would number 1 be?? Issue 33 is my favourite in the entire run, and the entire thing is stacked with moments that could fill up this list. I just love 'who do you think you are' because it's all of Cass' rage spilling out, and yet she still loves David Cain in her own complicated way (and he reciprocates, too). Then we have the ending, which is the BEST Bruce and Cass moment ever. The sparse, meaningful dialogue, the expressions, the reveal of the TITLE: comic book writing at its finest.

Honorary mention to the Shiva/Cass fight, which just narrowly missed out.

[mizi-sua]

honestly I don’t see till hallucinating mizi and/or ivan in round 7 because I believe that besides her grief, mizi saw sua in luka because luka inherently resembles sua much more than any other alnst character so he was able to perfectly provoke her in that way. like everyone loves to point out sua and ivan parallels but sua and luka parallels are being shoved right into our faces. their birthdays being one day apart, them covering each other’s respective songs, how they both acted when they were children, their feelings of hopelessness and indifference to everything that leads to obedience etc.

just like luka, sua has so much darkness locked inside of herself and away from mizi, it’s so apparent in the mizisua short animation, in sweet dream’s lyrics and in most of sua’s illustrations where mizi isn’t shown. sua’s also quite possessive and gets jealous, it’s not as excessive as luka but it’s there and intended.

it’s clear that sua could’ve ended up just like him but didn’t because of how different their loved ones impacted them.

[cripplecharacters]

Hiya!! I’ve got a couple of stories I’m currently working on and because I also draw a lot, I like making illustrations for the stories. One of my protagonists experiences psychosis, and occasionally suffers with hallucinations. When drawing hallucinations (or expressing other elements of psychosis), is there anything major to avoid doing? For reference, the main reference for how I was going to draw them was similar to how the show Arcane expresses psychosis, since I like the artistic direcrion of the show overall, and I’ve been only positive feedback on how Jinx’s mental health was portrayed.

Hi!

I think it depends on what kind of hallucinations she has. I personally liked the way Arcane did it, and I think it works both for Jinx as a character and the show in the aesthetic sense.

However, I think it could be cool to visually show that for a lot of people, hallucinations aren't “obvious”. They can be incredibly regular things or just be “kinda weird/out of place” rather than clearly impossible to onlookers (in this case, readers)

Someone could also have both - they could hallucinate a person who definitely isn't there (like Jinx seeing [characters who have died]) but also have some that are just... hard to differentiate as an actual hallucination (like seeing a regular dog being outside, appliances being on, sounds that make sense but aren't there, etc.). Arguably, if she has both, the second ones become much harder to spot in comparison.

Another thing is what kind of things she's hallucinating. For Jinx, they were distressing and related to traumatic events, so the whole experience is obviously intense and full of PTSD flashbacks. This makes sense for her as a character. I really liked the tense slow-motion that was used in some earlier scenes of her as a child and the exact opposite used for her older self with the quick cuts and incredibly rapid pace, because it really can be like either of these.

But then again: some people see things so boring that there's no emotional reaction. Sometimes people don't realize they're hallucinating because the hallucination in question is a stranger sitting on a bench you're walking next to in a perfectly normal fashion, or something else that you wouldn't pay attention to, hallucination or not. I know of people who look through their phone/camera lens at things they think might be hallucinations because they don't show up on photos, and they just want to make sure (I've done this with audio recordings before). Would someone like this experience psychosis the same way as Jinx, who is shown surrounded by neon sketches of beasts with giant sharp-teethed mouths barking at her? Possibly! But there's a big chance it's simply not as intense in the visual sense (it can still be incredibly stressful on the inside).

So to kinda answer the question, it depends on the above. What is her relationship with her hallucinations? Some people like theirs, hallucinations can be positive or neutral, even comforting. Is she used to them? Does she know that she's hallucinating? Why is she hallucinating exactly (flashback? stress? under the influence? no reason? fatigued?)? Does she have “regulars”? They don't have to be literally people that show up regularly, but things or just general themes that can be related to the person's life. You might have one set of hallucinations that appear as a result of X, and a different that shows up when Z happens (with Jinx, she hallucinates [dead characters] very realistically when general PTSD flashbacks happen, but much more abstractly when confronted in a stressful, overwhelming situation where she's panicking). Is she only hallucinating impossible things, regular events, something in-between, or all of the above? (As someone in the last category, I'd love to see that.) Are there sounds, tactile feeling, smell, taste? (I guess hard to convey visually on a drawing, but still something I'd love to see, delusional parasitosis is such a classic it has its own name)

It might make perfect sense for your character to experience her hallucinations in the same visual manner as Jinx, but they might also just look like another slice-of-life panel with nothing out of the ordinary, they may be just slightly “off” with the hallucinations sticking out like interactive objects in video games, or maybe the entire hallucination is just the sound of neighbors arguing upstairs. Which again: the latter options can be hard to do visually, but if you establish that place X looks like that and definitely doesn't have that object in there, and house Z definitely doesn't have a second floor, you can clue readers in a more subtle way that I think could also show that sometimes psychosis is easy to miss.

Psychosis is diverse, and I don't feel like I can't say that there are contents of it that “shouldn't be shown”. People absolutely hallucinate demons, ghosts, blood, or other “stereotypical” things; there is a kernel of truth in the “evil hallucinations” trope (though that's where the truth ends to be honest). For every person who tells you to not draw shadowy figures as an example of a hallucination, you will have two people who will tell you that it happened to them last week.

The thing I'd urge you to not do is much less concerned with actual hallucinations, and more with their context in their story and how they are portrayed.

The point is to not demonize it in narrative, and understand that the character isn't their hallucinations - they're not “subconscious desires” or proof of anything, they're not a sign of something supernatural happening, and they're not any kind of indicator of the person's morality or potentially being dangerous. And, I can't stress this enough, they aren't “predicting the future”. Don't use the psychosis as a Chehov's gun or other implication that the delusions are real for the sake of your psychotic readers.

Sorry for the non-answer answer but I hope it helps,

mod Sasza

[phoebepheebsphibs]

If we turn left enough times, we'll have gone in a circle.... and end up right back where we started.

@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau @littlemissartemisia @thevoidbrothers @noval1t (I hope they don't mind I added their characters into the story for special guest appearance 👉👈)

CW: fight scenes, blood/ichor, panic attacks, slight body horror, hallucinations, abuse, experimentation, surgery, torture... cardiac arrest and character death

(It's a really long one. I am so sorry in advance lol)

Also, just for clarification: UIFY = Until I Found You NFIF = No Fun in Fungus DvD = Donatello Von Draxum 'Phael = Raphael Jurogumo

Prev || Next || Illustration

Misa waddled along the corridors of the arena as she retraced her steps. She couldn't recall exactly where she'd left the portal sword, but she knew it was in the area... Her families were counting on her. Her older little brothers and sister April needed her help! And she was so excited to help them and prove Lee-Lee wrong about her being "just a little kid". She wasn't little! She was 4 years old! That was so grown up and big, she could do all sorts of things by herself... If she could only find her sword. She'd show him just how big she was!

Out of the blue, a familiar floating sensation took her and she watched with surprise as she was lifted up high into the rafters. Misa squealed with delight.

"Up, up!"

Waves smiled at her, returning her laughter with chirps and giggles of his own.

"Are you going to keep playing with your food, or what?"

Misa watched as a splash of pitch created another figure -- a version of Donatello but entirely grayscale -- formed in the rafters next to them.

Waves turned to look at his brother with a great big smile on his face, his eyes empty and black as he stared at Signal. He hissed a warning. Misa is off-limits.

"Fine. Just didn't see the point in wasting such a sweet little snack."

Waves hissed at him again before nuzzling his face into Misa's. She giggled with glee. These brothers didn't scare her. Waves might seem spooky, but deep down he was a silly little sweetheart and she adored him. Especially when he would pick her up and fly around with her.

"What exactly is the little Artemisia doing way out here all by herself?" Signal asked, leaning in close to her tiny face.

"Getting sword for my family!" she explained.

"Ah, weaponizing children now, are we? I think Static was handing out medieval swords and maces earlier..."

"Did somebody say 'best void brother'?" came a glitchy voice as another void brother appeared.

"It's like he's Beetlejuice or something..." Signal growled.

"I just thought the little lady might like this," Static stated smugly as he handed Misa her retrieved portal sword. He'd found it for her!

Misa cheered happily as she brandished the weapon, the blade glinting in the light and reflecting her image like a mirror.

"What's going on up here?" a fourth and final voice boomed. Radio slowly emerged from the shadows of the rafter corners. "Static, you're not giving minors weapons again, are you?"

"How did you even get up here?" Signal asked incredulously. "You're practically the size of a dump truck, how can you even fit in these rafters?"

"Call me that again and I'll flatten you like a dump truck."

"Just worried for the structural integrity of the building, is all..." Signal sassed back.

Radio rolled his eyes as he made his way over to the others, specifically Static, who still owed Radio an answer.

"I wasn't handing out weapons, I was retrieving it. It already belonged to her!"

Radio's eyes shifted from Static to Misa, who nodded her head as Waves shook his (he wanted to get Static in trouble as a joke).

"Why would a little thing like you need a sword?" he asked cautiously.

"Family needs help! Misa gets her sword for them!" she explained. "Bad spores!"

"Your family? You mean that band of misfits and the anxiety-riddled shroomie teens?"

Waves nodded for her. Misa didn't really understand what shroomie meant. Radio scratched his chin as he considered the situation. He knew that there was an outbreak of fear spores going on, and the two AU teams had been working to find and destroy them. It wasn't looking good thus far. Even Signal had gotten spored, and though he wouldn't admit it... they knew it wasn't a pleasant experience for him. Radio couldn't say he was an expert on mushrooms, but he knew a thing or two about invasive beings and decay. And if that fungus was as bad as everyone was making it out to be, then it could mean disaster for every AU in this place.

"...I don't suppose we could be of any help?"

Donatello howled with maniacal laughter.

His prisoners watched with fear as he ordered the vines to wrap around Michelangelo like ropes, tying his arms to his sides and keeping a very strong grip around his throat just in case anyone got any funny ideas. DvD was screaming bloody murder and promising every kind of painful demise if Audrey III didn't release his baby brother immediately. But he could see the tears in his eyes, he could hear the panic and utter fear.

Oh god, the fear was delicious. He wanted more...

Raphael struggled against the odd vines that had sprouted from Donnie's shell, as he brought him closer towards the room where Leo and the others were. The vines were an amalgamation creation -- partially machine, partially Dee's ninpo, and partially... Raph could only assume it was the mushroom. Had it been growing inside of his shell?? He desperately tried to free himself from the terrible growth. He managed to get one arm out --

"Oh-ho-ho-ho, what are we trying here?" the plant asked through Donnie, smirking down at Raph and commanding several other vines to take ahold of his arms and pull, stretching him out in every direction as he yelled in pained protests. "You didn't really think you could get out that easy, did you?"

Raph grunted and growled as he fought against the vines.

"Donnie!! SNAP OUTTA IT! I know you like to play the mad scientist sometimes, but this is TAKING IT TOO FAR!!"

"I'll tell him you said that," Audrey III smirked. "He's on sabbatical right now, but I'm sure the message can get through... eventually."

Raph screamed in anger as hot tears streaked down his face.

"But in the meantime, I think I'd like to taste your fear again..."

The door behind them opened, and out came a stream of blue fog, followed by the Hand.PNG, which crawled up the vines and onto Donnie's shoulder like a spider.

"Let's invite our dear friends to dinner, shall we?"

The vines began to drag Micheal and Raph into the room.

DvD began to screech like a monster, the muscles in his arms tensing and flexing against the vines and finally breaking their hold. He ran towards the wall, screaming in fury as he spun the tech-bō and leapt. They would not take his brother.

A spark of light ignited in his eyes.

It spread across his body.

The light burst like flame at the end of his staff.

All eyes watched him in shock as he shouted a war cry and slammed the tech-bō into the wall Dee had created earlier.

It shattered completely.

A shockwave burst from the impact and threw everyone back, dissolving the vines that held everyone.

Mikey's limp body fell.

DvD rushed to catch him. He almost made it when Donnie/Audrey III stepped in front of him and kicked him back with one of his mechanical arms. The battle-shell-clad ninja crawled up the side of the wall and grabbed the child before he could hit the ground. Mikey's head bobbed, and he groaned in discomfort at having been thrown around like a rag doll.

"You duplicitous little --! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" Audrey III spat angrily.

In all honesty, DvD had no idea what he'd just done or how he'd done it. All he knew was that he needed to protect Mikey at all costs. And then the wall broke. In his shocked stupor, he failed to get up in time and suddenly found a new vine wrapping around his neck like a boa constrictor and tightening like a noose.

Mikey's eyelids fluttered.

Donnie/Audrey III brought the alt. version of himself close to his face.

"YOU HAVE NO MAGIC, YOU YOURSELF TOLD HIM THAT! YOU LYING LITTLE --" Donnie's eyes peered into DvD's as he choked. "...Perhaps you are more interesting than you let on. Shall we see what else is in your silly little head, my dear anarchist?"

Donnie gasped for air, kicking and clawing at his captor as he tried to free himself. He... he was blacking out...

Mikey's eyes burst open.

He screamed as loudly as he could, his entire body erupting into gold and amber light, blinding the entire corridor.

A shrieking sound came from the dark room. The door slammed shut.

Donatello turned around in shock, as a torrent of chains burst from the boy, two for each vine he'd created.

Oh. Now we play.

He'd seen this from the boy before; he'd been rooting around in his mind and saw the memories from the last time. He knew the child was afraid of these powers, he couldn't control them very well. Especially the really strong spells like this. He knew how this scene played out. He just had to either wait him out to spend himself dry -- or let him do what the previous poor, sweet Michelangelo had done, and turn himself into a monster. Either would work...

Mikey held his hand out. A series of chains came and sliced the vine choking out his brother. DvD fell to the floor, quickly caught by the chains -- which also grabbed NFIF Raphael -- and carried them away to the others who watched in utter shock as the child landed on the ground and summoned his mystic nunchucks.

"Well, well, well... look who finally woke up."

Mikey's eyes were wide and glowed burning gold. He said nothing, his face empty, devoid of expression. Mikey was not at home anymore, he was controlled by his ninpo. He simply tilted his head in response to Audrey III's eggings.

"I wonder... you tried to save Donatello from my clutches earlier. Did you know then that your efforts would be in vain? Did you know that in your absence, you'd leave your brothers and sisters to face me alone?"

The two circled around one another, preparing to duel it out.

"I sensed your connection; you'd discovered the truth, hadn't you? You'd discovered this pathetic boy's treachery, how he'd joined my cause."

Mikey's face never faltered. His knuckles tightened around as his weapon.

"I suppose 'joined' was the wrong word to use. He really was weak and pathetic, you know. It was almost too easy to leech my way into his mind. I highly doubt his consciousness could have survived from my invasion. I do hope you said your goodbyes."

Michelangelo charged.

Donnie/Audrey III swirled the staff in front of himself, deflecting the impacts of the little child as he battled the fungus infected version of his brother.

Mikey's movements were graceful, practically a performance as he flowed back and forth, throwing his chains at the purple ninja turtle, whose movements in contrast were fierce and sharp and violent and purely angry.

"Did... did you know he could do that?" 'Phael asked shakily, turning to look at Leo.

Leo simply stared in silence, mouth agape with awe and shock of his baby brother.

"Leo, did you know he could do this??"

"I... I-I mean... sort of... I knew he could do magic... but not like this..."

Michelangelo danced around Donatello, waving his arms and creating ribbons of golden light as he filled the room with light.

Wait a minute, light...

"The light... the light!" NFIF Raphael shouted suddenly. "The light! It's how we defeated the spores the first time, using mystic light! It disintegrates them!"

"How poetic, the light drives away the fear," DvD muttered, still rubbing his neck from the constraining grip of the vines.

"If we can get the door open, we can flood the room with his light and free them all!"

"Okay, solid plan, great effort from everybody, just one slight hitch -- HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET AROUND THE MYSTIC BATTLE WHERE OUR BROTHERS ARE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER?!" Leo yelled.

"Raph's still comin' up with the plan!! Cut me some slack!"

"I can try to poof you guys to the door," April offered. "It won't be completely accurate, but I can get you close."

"That'll have to do," Raph nodded. "And whatever you do, avoid the hand and the spores!"

April grabbed hold of NFIF Raphael, squeezed her eyes shut, and then - poof! - landed the two right in the middle of the fight.

"AAGH! Sorry, sorry!" she screamed, ducking under Mikey's advance against Donnie, as Raph created an enormous ninpo arm and shielded the two of them from Dee's barrage of ninpo torpedoes.

"Get to the door!" Raph screamed, taking her by the hand and pulling her away as he created two more clones to help in the fight.

Mikey danced and ducked under the glowing purple missiles shot at him. He gripped his nunchuck tightly, whipped it towards one of the Raph clones. It wrapped around his arm, igniting in flames, then swung over Mikey's head like a lasso. He flung the fiery clone at Donnie, who just barely managed to dodge the flaming brother, which created a crater in the ground before him. The second clone came and tried to keep him from firing anymore missiles at UIFY Mikey.

"I'm surprised at you," Donnie huffed, trying to keep up with the two attackers. "Why would you want to fight against me? We're brothers!"

"We don't want to fight you," one clone growled. "But you're not in your right mind, so we'll have to do what we can."

"I'm sure you will," Donnie snarled, changing his bō staff into a spear and skewered the clone straight through. It disintegrated into red blocks and pixels. He turned to the second clone, creating the oh-so-famed drill, and firing at the poor duplicate.

Meanwhile, Raphael and April had made it to the door, April gripping the handle as she waited for Raphael's orders.

"Get ready," she panted, out of breath from dodging both sides of the attack. "Once this door opens, a flood of blue is gonna come out."

"I'll get you out, don't worry," Raph said with a nod.

"It's not me I'm worried about. Donnie said the Hamatos are full of senseless martyrs."

"He's... not wrong. But I promise that I won't sacrifice myself."

April nodded, hoping that he would keep that promise.

"Okay, then."

April threw the door open. As soon as she did, a torrent of blue smoke fumed out, engulfing both April and Raphael. April kept her eyes closed, waiting for the nightmares to start. But they never did. She opened her eyes and saw the world from inside a red glowing giant. Raph held onto her, arms spread around her in a safety hold, his hologram form shielding them from the spores.

Donnie/Audrey III felt a pain in the back of his mind. They turned and saw that the spores were leaking out of the room. Okay, now they were getting irritated.

"Why, you little...!"

In this moment of distraction, Michelangelo's chains wrapped around the softshell's waist and pulled him in. Mikey reached out and grabbed him by his neck, holding him just mere inches away from his expressionless face, eyes still burning like melted gold, no irises nor pupils. Donnie's wide, icy blue-tinted eyes contrasted them sickeningly. Donnie smiled.

"Go ahead," he said, voice smooth and calm. "Kill me."

Mikey blinked at him, but that was all. Audrey III continued.

"That was your plan all along, wasn't it? This ridiculous show of power, the fight? You were planning on finishing the job, weren't you?"

Mikey's fingers squeezed softly. A threat.

"What, are you afraid? Why? Shouldn't it be easy? Are you even in control of yourself? Why would you be afraid to squeeze the life out of someone who looks just like your brother, could actually be your brother?"

Mikey's hand let go, his arms shaking. A soft golden glow started to seep through the bandages.

"Ah, and it looks like you may be out of time."

Michelangelo looked down. Golden ichor dripped off of his fingertips. He pulled the bandages off, revealing the scars on his arms, which were glowing white hot, tiny cracks forming from their edges and shimmering, glittery ichor was bleeding from the reopened wounds. The price to pay for his powers.

Some Mikeys cracked.

He didn't.

Not again... n-not again...

Donatello/Audrey III dusted himself off as he watched Michelangelo slowly come to. With his ninpo overdrive giving way, his mind leisurely crept back into place; the golden glazed over his eyes melting as his irises came into focus and his pupils dilated. The ichor dripping down his forearms began turning a deep red, the glowing scars on his arms becoming irritated open wounds.

No, no! Mikey couldn't give up just yet, not when his family still needed him! But... he knew he'd used up almost all his precious energy... he... h-he... Mikey's breathing slowed, raggedy respiration as his hands shook and his knees wobbled beneath him. The room started to spin as black spots entered his vision. He managed to catch a glimpse of Donatello, swinging his staff with great force and slamming it into Mikey's chest with a hideous cracking sound.

Mikey was flung back several feet, dizzy and dazed and all the air knocked out of him. He vaguely registered multiple voices calling his name...

April screamed, NFIF Raphael screaming with her. April's teleportation powers activated without her realizing it, and she suddenly found herself by MIkey's side. Weak as he was, he had curled up into himself, clutching his stomach in pain and trying to catch his breath as he writhed on the floor. His brothers were also by her side in an instant, each one fretting over his injuries.

April looked up to see Donnie/Audrey III standing over them, the hand perched on his shoulder like a vulture.

Dee held out the severed arm, and gave it to the creature.

"Be whole again, dear disciple," he said with a smile, as the hand reattached itself to the limb, a flash of light combining the two together once again.

"That's gross," Leo grimaced. "Hey, DvD, you're a science experiment, can you do that?"

"No, but I can."

All eyes looked behind Donatello/Audrey III.

A black substance expanded and took form -- an adult version of Donatello, devoid of any colour whatsoever.

April cheered, whooping at his arrival. 'Phael screamed at a pitch that only dogs could hear. He was still convinced that these "Void Brothers" were the ones who'd sent him the ominous sticky note near the beginning of this entire adventure in the competition.

"So," Donnie/Audrey III said with a growl. "It looks like we have some more players in the game."

"Think you can keep up?" Signal asked, his form morphing into one of pure black, multiple arms expanding from his abdomen and several extra sets of teeth growing in his ever-widening mouth.

"The more the merrier," Donatello/Audrey III chuckled, letting the Hand.PNG crawl into his palm. "You know what to do," he whispered to it.

The hand instantly vanished, reappearing by the doorway behind Raphael, and scurrying into the room. A second later, blue chains shot out, slicing through Raphael's hologram.

"That's not good," he mumbled, forcing the hand to reach into the gargantuan stomach, pull him out, and fling him towards the others before the spores could seep through all the way.

Two figures emerged from the doorway, their movements somewhat sluggish. There were tiny mushrooms protruding from their skin. Their eyes glowed a neon blue, and their ninpo matched the shade.

Karai and Mikey.

"No..." Leo whispered, staring in horror. "Karai... what happened to her...?"

"Oh, Mikey," Raph whimpered. "Oh no, big man..."

"He's not gonna make us fight them, is he?" April asked nervously.

The two warriors charged.

"Yep. He is. He most definitely is. Shoulda seen this one coming, honestly. That's on me."

"Get outta here," Raphael ordered. "Me and... uh, these guys -" he said, gesturing to the four colourless adults that had already started combating against the swayed relatives, "- will keep them from following you."

"I thought you said you weren't gonna sacrifice yourself!" April yelled angrily.

"I know, and Raph is gonna keep his promise. But your little brother is hurt, he needs help now! I'm not gonna just hand myself over, I'm your cover. Now get going!"

April wanted to argue about it more, but before she could, she was taken by the wrist and pulled away. Waves was tugging her -- as well as the others -- off to a small clearing.

"Where do we go?!" 'Phael yelled, concerned that they had no real escape plan...

"Misa helps!" came a familiar voice. A sword slashed through the open air, and a bright portal opened in front of them...

...Donatello/Audrey III commanded a cloud of spores, hurtling them towards Radio.

"What are you, some kinda Avatar: the Last Airbender wannabe?" he joked as he dodged the cloud.

"I wonder why you would stand against me. Do we not fight for the same cause? Survival? We feed off of others, we only want to exist on our own terms... can you not see our similarities?"

"Nah, not really," Radio said, slamming his fist into the ground, only missing Donnie by half an inch.

"Such a shame. Then I suppose you must die."

"Happy to return the favour--"

"You can't hurt them!" Raphael shouted as he joined the fray.

"Whaddya mean, we can't? They're trying to hurt us!" Static shouted angrily, popping in and out of random spots, infuriating the heck out of mushroomed Mikey.

"They're not in control of their bodies, they're zombies! We hafta find a way to un-zombify them!"

"Well, no offense, but I don't think they share your mindset of 'no hurting the opponents'," Static sighed. "Besides, you're gonna have a hard time getting Signal to change his mind."

"Well, I'm gonna have to, those are my brothers and un-dead gram-gram from another dimension-- wait, where's Leo?!"

Raph looked around the corridor anxiously for the third zombie. He wasn't anywhere to be seen.

He must still be in the room. Raph darted among the others, rushing towards the dark room. There was still a huge cloud of blue smoke that surrounded the doorway, Raph couldn't go in without being infected. But he could see inside.

There was Leo, sitting up against the wall -- oh god.

Leo's body was half-engulfed in the biggest, scariest mushroom Raphael had ever seen. It's giant eye zeroed in on Raph. It... it looked too much like... his fingers traced over his own injured eye nervously. Why did it look so similar? Donnie had theorized that the fungus might've been kraang-related, but...

Leo. Focus on Leo.

He was there, being absorbed into the mushroom. He looked so pale and thin, like he was wasting away. Raph had to save him somehow, but --

"Enjoying the view?" Donnie/Audrey III asked, whacking Raph over the head with his staff as hard as he could. Raphael crumbled to the ground, clutching his skull and groaning in pain. Yeah, that was going to leave a mark... and a pretty nasty concussion, too...

While Raph was stunned on the floor, Donnie/Audrey III noticed the portal that had allowed for the Until I Found You group's escape. It was still open.

The hand appeared at Donnie/Audrey III's feet.

"This form has served its purpose," he said flatly. "I have what I need for now... But I require you to follow after them. Bring me back the scientist, I believe that he may be of some use to me. And even if not, he can't be left with them. He's too smart, he'll find some way to weaken me... I cannot leave it to chance. Bring him to me."

The Hand.PNG "nodded" at his master, then jumped away towards the portal.

Raphael struggled to keep his vision straight. He felt something wrap around his chest, tugging him backwards. He saw the Void Brothers driving the two zombified Hamatos back to the room... in Raphael's direction... the room...

Raph's head pounded louder than a drum. The ringing in his ears wouldn't stop. He knew April would have his head for giving in so easily... maybe she'd understand given the circumstances. He could barely hold his head up after that last hit... Donnie was a lot stronger than he looked.......

At least... he would be sleeping soon. At least he would be in good company. All the Hamato martyrs, together again. At least he was with Gram-Gram again.

At least he'd be with Leo, soon...

The door closed.

Leon recalled the feeling of portalling.

It was kind of like falling. Accidentally skipping a step down the stairs. An acidic scent that slightly burned the nostrils, a popping in the ears as you go from one altitude to the other in an instant and a half.

Leo hadn't done a lot of portalling, but he'd had his fair share of experiences with the activity. But he still wasn't used to the feeling yet. He stumbled through the bright blue splotch of light and tripped on his way out, finding himself in a brand new corridor. The others followed soon after, clambering out one by one and almost stepping on top of each other.

"Where... where are we?"

"Who cares! We have to go back!" April shouted. "Raph still needs us!"

"What exactly are we supposed to do? Go in, guns blazing? With what guns??" Leo yelled anxiously, waving his arms around to gesture to the obvious lack of firearms.

"P-Prilly's right, w-we haf-hafta... go... back..."

Mikey whined loudly, trying to push himself away from Donnie. The effort hurt his injured arms, which were still bleeding profusely.

"Micheal, hold still--"

"N-no, they need us, Donnie... th-they need us... they need..."

Mikey slipped out of his grip and fell to his knees, shakily trying to get back up.

"Michael, you're in no condition to be going into a battle like that!"

"Mikey all red," Misa whimpered. "Mikey's not s'posed to be so red..."

"No, he's not," Leo growled. "Dude, just sit this one out --"

"No!" Mikey sobbed. "I can't sit back and watch as the people I love and care about get hurt!"

"WHY DO YOU THINK WE WANT YOU TO STAY PUT?!" Leo shouted angrily. "I am NOT having you get hurt like that again! Donnie, take Mikey and go find him some first aid," Leo ordered.

Donnie nodded, picking up the angry box turtle and carrying him into a side hall that lead to one of the many lounge areas. "Raph, April and I will come up with a plan."

"What Misa do?" the littlest turtle mutant asked.

"...You have a very important job to do," Leo announced. "You got those ghosty guys to come and help fight... We're gonna need all the help we can get. Misa, you're the recruiter. Go find as many people as you can and get them to come. Tell them how important it is, okay? This is a big responsibility."

Misa's face lit up.

Lee-Lee trusted her! He knew she was responsible! Misa saluted him with a determined smile and nodded.

"Misa get all the families! Everybody comes!"

"Exactly, Misa. Everybody comes."

"So what, we're just gonna pull an Avengers Endgame on the shrooms? We need more of a strategy than that!" April groaned.

"What the heck is an Avengers Endgame?" Leo asked.

"It's a human reference for a movie. Basically it just means that everybody bands together against the bad guy for an epic finale," 'Phael explained.

"Then why not say that? It makes much more sense than 'Avengers Endgame' -- and how did you know what that meant??"

"I do live with humans, in a human hotel, y'know," 'Phael said, rolling his eyes. "I've seen human movies."

"Okay, well, the majority of our family has not, so maybe--"

"Can we get back to the matter at hand?!" April exclaimed loudly.

"Hand?" Misa asked, eyeing something behind them.

"She means the important stuff," Leo explained.

"Hand!" she yelled.

"Yes, yes, we're trying to get back to the matter at--"

"No, hand!" Misa pointed.

The group turned around to see the blurry trail of a small appendage rushing into the hall after DvD and Mikey.

"I don't just want to sit a-a-and do nothing," Mikey pouted, still shaking in DvD's arms.

"I understand that, you know I do," DvD sighed. "And you also know why I am requiring you to rest. You recall what happened the last time--"

"I know, I know, don't remind me. I was bedridden for days..."

"And yet you wonder why we won't let you go fighting."

Mikey grumbled and turned away from DvD. He was so mad, he could spit venom. He knew they were right, of course they were right. But that didn't make it any easier; in fact it made it worse. Because Mikey knew he was right, too! At least, half-right. He knew that they should go back and help. But he knew he couldn't do much, not with all his energy spent and his arms in the state they were now. They stung like mad, he could barely move them. Donnie had removed what was left of the bandages, doing his best not to gag at the sight and keeping his hands as still as possible, despite his aversion to the blood.

Mikey shouldn't feel guilty for this, right?

It wasn't his fault, right? It was just... how his mystic powers were. He couldn't help the way his body worked, just as much as he couldn't help when his hypoglycemia acted up. It wasn't his fault that he was the way he was... it wasn't a bad thing, right? Being Mikey? Being sensitive to others and sensitive to himself, having some few medical issues and mystic setbacks... that wasn't necessarily a terrible thing, right? Right...?

Mikey turned away so DvD couldn't see him crying. He didn't want him to think he was any more immature or any weaker than he undoubtedly did already. Than they all did. Leo had been taking care of him and his ailments since he was a baby. And Raph was holding on to that one special secret of his... and Donnie had cleaned up the blood and gone to get some more gauze and anti-bacterial supplies for Mikey's wounds. Mikey sighed and wished he wasn't so pathetic. He wished he was stronger, smarter, better. Anyone but himself. The only thing he was good for was his stupid useless mystic powers, and they always did more harm than good, especially self-harm. Mikey hated them. He hated himself--

NO, no, don't think like that! That wasn't kind, that wasn't fair! Mikey didn't actually hate himself at all, he was just mad. He needed to let it go. He needed to sit back and breathe...

Mikey leaned back, exhaled slowly, inhaled deeply.

And he saw it.

Crawling like a cockroach on the wall and up the ceiling.

With something blue in its grip.

"DEE, LOOK OUT!!"

The Hand.PNG shot the spores at Donatello Von Draxum.

Mikey jumped.

He had no time to do anything else.

He had no energy to summon mystic chains or make a spell or do anything clever like that.

He just jumped. Dove, really. Dove straight for his brother, in a desperate attempt to push him out of the way, move him aside, get him to safety!

The spores hit him.

"MIKEY?! MIKEY!!!"

Donnie grabbed his brother, holding him close, ignoring the hand as it disappeared into the shadows to watch the scene play out...

"Mikey, look at me, focus on me, okay? You can get through this, alright!? Just concentrate on my voice..."

Mikey nodded furiously, trying to listen to DvD. But there was a ringing starting, his head felt light and dizzy, the room began to spin and get darker. DvD was fading from vision...

NO! Stay, with me, Donnie, please! Donnie?! DONNIE!!

Donnie started shouting, someone was taking him away! Mikey tried to get up, go after him -- his leg caught on something. His arms, too! He looked down and saw titanium shackles, imprisoning him to a cold metal table.

A light shone in his vision. He squinted at the blinding brightness, wishing he could have a hand free to guard his eyes. Something stood in front of the light, casting a shadow over him.

"Well, well, well... if this isn't a surprise? Back again for more, are we?"

Mikey couldn't breathe.

It... it was him. It was him.

Baron Draxum.

"No... no... no --"

"I think we need to run a few more tests on our little friend here, don't you, Donatello?"

Draxum stepped aside and showed Mikey a view of DvD, chained by the wrists and gagged at the mouth. He was screaming at Mikey, trying to warn him, pleading with him to get out of here!

Mikey screamed back at him, begging wordlessly for Draxum to let him go, please, please!!

Instead, Draxum had one of his vines whip across the room and beat his son across the face. Mikey screamed, sobbing and wailing.

"STOP! NO!"

"He always was such a pathetic disappointment." Draxum turned to the other imprisoned turtle. "Perhaps you will show some promise."

No... n-no, this wasn't how it happened! Donnie w-wasn't -- he was never -- a-and Mikey wasn't awake for any of it, he was asleep for the entire thing! He shouldn't be awake now, he shouldn't be, he shouldn't -- H-he... no, no, no, no no no no nonononononononono!!

Draxum came forward with a needle and scalpel.

"Let's begin."

DvD couldn't stop crying, he just couldn't keep the tears from coming. Mikey was sitting on the floor, screeching his poor little head off, eyes wider than saucers and filled to the brim with fear. He couldn't move much, apart from shaking nonstop. He looked like he was constantly trying to wriggle away from something, but for some odd reason his wrists and ankles were invisibly anchored to the floor. Mikey's limbs twitched as he squirmed and struggled, screaming and begging for whatever he was witnessing to stop, please, please please please stop--

"WHERE IS IT, WHERE THE HECK IS THAT HAND, WHO'S SCREAMING, WHAT'S HAPPENING--?!"

Leon and the others rushed into the room, quickly inspecting the situation and coming upon the obvious conclusion.

"April, take Misa outside..." Leo said after inspecting the scene.

"Misa want to stay with Mikey--!" the little girl protested, but April quickly scooped her up and carried her off.

Leon and 'Phael immediately dropped to Mikey's side, Leo taking the box turtle's hand in his and trying to get him to wake up.

"Dee... fear spores, right?"

"...Yeah..."

"The hand."

"Yes."

"What... what is he seeing?" 'Phael asked nervously, eyes watering at the sight of his baby brother in so much pain.

"I... there's only one thing that could scare him this bad..."

"Draxum?" Leo whimpered.

DvD nodded.

"But... h-he doesn't remember anything from that, you said he was under heavy sedatives for the entire time!"

"He was! Draxum kept him under constant anesthetics -- perhaps his mind is creating an idea of what he thinks happened?"

Raphael started fidgeting with his hands.

"U-um... actually..."

The two boys looked up at him.

"'Phael? What... what is it?"

"...He told me not to tell ya..."

"Tell us what?" Leo questioned.

"H-he made me promise--"

"Raph," DvD said, his voice begging him in ways that words could not. "Please."

"He... he does remember. He does remember what happened in the labs."

Donnie and Leo stared. Mikey continued to sob and scream.

"...What... how... how could he know that... and how do you know that he knows?!" Leo asked, voice raising with each word.

"And why wouldn't he tell us?!" DvD asked in disbelief.

Raph swallowed nervously, a sweat breaking out across the worry lines on his brow.

"He... it started sometime after Karai arrived. H-he thought that m-might do with the mystic training she did with him -- but he started having... nightmares..."

"Nightmares?"

"He said he started dreaming memories about it. It was an out-of-body sorta thing, he said. Like he was watching from the outside... He could never get away from the visions, he said -- but every night, he saw a new one."

"And he... came to you about it? Why not ME?!" Leo yelled, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Or Donnie?! Why not tell us?! We're ALL his brothers!!"

"He told me... he said he didn't wanna burden you."

"...Burden?" Donnie whimpered. "...How?"

Raphael looked back and forth between them all. His eyes fell on Leon.

"...He told me he didn't want you to feel... responsible for another thing," Raph mumbled. "He said he felt bad enough about everything he's made you worry over already, he didn't want you to..."

"...He didn't want me to know...? Because... he felt guilty?" Leo wept, tears pooling and spilling from his eyes. "That... I don't... he shouldn't have felt that way, why did he..."

Leo's eyes glossed over, he squeezed them shut, clutching Mikey's tiny fist and pressing it against his chest.

"How could I make him feel like that...?" he wept. "I never meant... I never knew..."

"But... why not tell me? I could have helped," Donnie said in-between uneven breaths. "I already knew what had happened!"

"That's... actually why he didn't come to you, Don," 'Phael explained. "He s-said, he said he didn't want to hurt you. He saw how much you were struggling and wanted to wait until you were... doing better about the whole ordeal. To be honest, I agreed with him on that mark."

"But why did he tell you?" Leo asked. "Why only you, and not us?"

"I s'pose... because he knew that I knew what it was like to be afraid all the time," 'Phael sobbed. "He knew that I wouldn't judge him for his fears. He couldn't sleep at night anymore, he needed someone to stay with him and help him through his fits... But I told him! I told him to tell you both! I told him you should know!" he cried, whimpering nervously as he wrung his hands and rocked back and forth.

"Raph! Raph, it's okay..." Leo tried to reassure him. "I mean... it's not completely okay... I wish he'd told me, but... that doesn't matter now."

Leo held Raphael close.

"We just... we need to be here for him now... How much does he know?"

"...Everything."

"...This isn't going to be easy for him," Donnie exhaled.

"Or us," Leon added.

The trio gathered close to Michelangelo, each laying their hands on him, a sign that they were there and they were offering comfort in the only way they could.

Mikey kept screaming, he couldn't stop screaming. No matter what his brothers tried, they couldn't snap him out of whatever horrors he was experiencing. They just kneeled beside him, holding his hands and hoping their support made some leeway.

But Mikey just kept screaming, shrieking, crying, weeping, wailing, sobbing. He howled until his throat ran dry and his voiced cracked and went hoarse. He wept until his eyes were red and irritated and his cheeks were stained with saltwater and starting to chafe and the area around his eyes went puffy and soft. And on he went. For what seemed like hours, days, years, centuries even -- but was probably only 15 minutes. Mikey was stuck in a loop of fits and fear.

And then finally, he slowed. His breathing calmed, his sobs turning to hiccups and suck-ups and hyperventilation, as his eyes darted around, looking for something familiar.

"Is... is it over?" Leo asked, internally begging for it to be so.

Donatello was heaving along with Mikey, his cheeks also stained with tears.

"I... I think--"

"D-Donnie?" Mikey whispered shakily.

"Mikey? I'm right here, I'm --"

"No... no, not Donnie, please, I--"

"Is, is he --?"

"He's not done with the hallucination yet," Donnie realised. "It's about to get so much worse."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" Mikey screamed, bolting forwards. His legs tangled underneath him, causing him to trip over himself. His arms were strained behind him, his ankles struggling against the ground, as if something was still holding him back.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HIM, WHAT IS HE SEEING DON?!" Leo screamed.

"Me," Donnie whimpered, holding back desperate sobs. "He's seeing what Draxum did to me. On the last day. When we fought...."

Mikey shrieked in agony, his eyes somehow producing twice as many tears as they had before in this one moment, pouring out for his brother's sake.

Mikey's screams were cut short, he gasped in horror. They all could assume what he'd seen. Draxum had killed Donnie in his hallucinations. Mikey went horribly pale. His eyes widened.

"No... no... no, no, no, get away get--!"

Mikey jerked suddenly. His body seized up, his eyes went wide, and then --

He fell backwards.

Back into the hold of his brothers, who caught him almost immediately.

"MIKEY!!"

Mikey didn't hear them, he simply lay in their arms.

Mikey stopped shaking. His limbs had gone slack. His body went limp. His eyes went somewhere far away from them all.

Mikey exhaled.

And he didn't inhale.

"...Mikey...?"

He didn't respond.

"What... what just happened?" Raph asked nervously.

"He didn't... he didn't just..." Leo begged, slowly placing his fingers against his neck. He paused. He tried the wrist next. He couldn't find any pulse.

"He didn't just leave us, did he?"

"...Michael...?"

Leo pounded his fist against the ground.

He wasn't going to give up his baby brother.

Leo placed his hands across Mikey's chest, applied pressure.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

"Come on, Mikey, come on...!"

1, 2, 3 ,4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

"Come ON, Mikey, COME ON! I'm not letting you go!"

DvD was crying, holding himself tight as tears soaked into his shirt and vest.

"Leo, stop... Leo, he... he..."

"Leon, mate, please, he--" 'Phael reached for him, attempting to comfort.

"COME ON!" Leo shouted, refusing to give up.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3--

"WAKE UP!!" he sobbed.

Mikey gasped for air.

His eyes blinked wildly as he bolted upright, limbs flailing about in a mad panic. Three bodies pounced upon him, wrapping themselves around him and sobbing into him. Mikey said nothing. He simply looked around in confusion, getting his bearings and perfividly coming back to reality. He listened, but couldn't hear them. Everything was numb and strange, every sound and image baffled him. All he knew was he hadn't been here anymore. But he was here again, now. Here with his brothers.

... I did not intend for this ...

Yes, I intended to send the spores.

And yes, I intended to have them sent after Donatello.

I even intended for them to miss him entirely, for Michelangelo to rush in his place and take the hit for him.

But I never intended this.

Michelangelo was meant to see a different fear entirely.

Michelangelo is afraid of being the frailest, the smallest, the weakest of the brood. Dear little Mikey is afraid that he has nothing of importance to offer. He is always relying on the others to help him, to save him. He has nothing to offer them in return. Mikey tries to do what he can, but deep down he is afraid that one of these days, his brothers will discover that HE needs THEM far more than they could ever need him.

Truly, THAT was what he was meant to see. I had no idea he would see... all that.

They told me no one would get hurt. They told me no one would die. They promised me. And they lied.

It was a good game while it lasted. But I'm not having fun with it anymore.

No one was meant to be hurt like this.

No one was meant to die.

I suppose this means I'll have to do what I can to fix things, now.

"L-Leo," croaked Mikey, who slowly raised his hand and pointed a trembling finger. "Hand…"

“What... what are you saying, Mike?"

“Hand,” Mikey clarified, stressing his wobbly finger as he gestured behind them.

The boys followed Mikey's direction.

The Hand.PNG was crawling towards them.

"G-Get it away from Mikey!" Leo screamed, kicking his feet in the creature's direction.

"Don't let it come any closer!"

"WHERE'S MY TECH-BŌ?!"

"Please, if you could simply pause for a moment, I'd like to make you an offer."

Everything stopped.

Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey froze, jaws dropping to the floor as they heard the hand speak at them.

"You... y-you can talk?" Mikey's voice came out grated and raspy.

"Yes."

"What... why are you just deciding to speak now?" Raphael asked.

"And why have you been tormenting us all?!" Donnie bellowed, gripping his tech-bō tightly as possible.

"And what did you mean, you wanted to make an offer?" Leon interrupted. "An offer for what?"

"I was wondering if I could offer you my services. How would you like to rescue your family and destroy the fear fungus?”

[chronicbeans]

Human Illustrator Wally x Reader (part 5)

Circle time! Yippee!

TW: Mentions of Hallucinations

🐻 You can't help but grin as you watch Mr. Darling sitting with all of the children, talking about the most random of things. From bears to apples, the conversation flings itself from topic to topic. When Mr. Darling starts to take out random items he has brought for the children to play with, it almost feels like watching Mary Poppins. His little bag of items seems to fit an endless amount of luggage.

🐻 He looks around, being sure to make sure everyone understands what he says. He is careful to assure every child's needs are met. It might've taken a lot of planning to get him here, but it was all worth it. The kids are happy and feel cared for. You are happy to have finally found someone else with a passion for making every child feel appreciated. Mr. Darling seems happy to make others feel happy.

🐻You watch as he talks to Amelia, one of the numerous children circled around him, before he lets her touch his hair. You chuckle at her shocked reaction, hearing her say something along the lines of "It's like a shell!", with Mr. Darling saying "It's from the stuff I use to style it. I need my hair to look the absolute most!"

🐻 You turn your attention away for a moment, noticing that one of the kids is sitting alone at the table, simply watching the others. It's James, the kid that you were talking to Howdy about the other day. As in, the one who had the head injury. You sit next to him, smiling "Is there something you need?"

🐻 James looks up to you, before whispering "I... I want to talk to Wally... but I feel like he'll think I'm weird. Umm... I am also worried for him. The scary monster is behind him." You smile, nodding. "The scary monster won't hurt Mr. Darling. How about I go ask him if you can talk to him outside, in the play area? That way, he will be away from the scary monster, and you get to talk with him. I am sure he won't think of you as weird." "Only if you go with." "Alright. I'll go ask him now."

🐻 You stand up, grinning as you approach the group of children. "Mr. Darling? Can you come over here for a moment?" "Sure thing! Just a moment!" He picks up Amelia, who giggles and waves her arms, then stands up. The kids watch as he leaves, only for him to turn around and say "Oh! Just in case I take long, you can go through my bag. I didn't bring anything important. It's just stuff I brought for you all to play with. Be sure to share, though!" Needless to say, the kids swarmed to his bag like birds to breadcrumbs.

🐻 He turns back around, walking over to you as he asks "What is it? Do you need something?" You nod, bringing him over to James. "Yep! Mr. Darling, this is James. He wants to talk to you, but feels a bit anxious to do so. We both were wondering if it would be alright if the three of us went to the play area out back to talk privately." He grins, clasping his hands together as he says "Of course! That will be no problem at all! Just lead the way, (Y/N)!"

🐻 The three of you all walk to the play area in the backyard of the daycare, James looking behind you all from time to time. The play area is small, with a little playhouse, a sandbox, and a swing set connected to a slide. Once outside, Mr. Darling crouches down to his height, shaking his hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you, James! Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" James nods.

🐻"Yeah... umm... I was wondering, do you umm... Are you like me? I mean... I am a bit nervous to ask." James looks down, fiddling with the hem of his sweater. Mr. Darling smiles, tilting his head. "It is alright. Take your time. How about this? I'll ask you some questions to ease you into your own! Did anything particular make you curious if I have anything in common with you?" James nods "Yeah. I saw how you and Aubrey related in being autistic. As well as how you and a few of the others talked about loving art."

🐻 James looks around, which Mr. Darling seems to notice. He begins to look around, too. He then smiles, as if catching on. "Okay, I'll ask another question, since you don't seem to be ready, yet. Do you like to draw?" James, once again, nods. This time, it is much more enthusiastic. He reaches into the pocket of his shorts, pulling out a tiny notepad. "Yeah! Let me show you some! It isn't anything close to what you can do, but I hope to get that good someday!" James shows the notepad to him, revealing drawings of cute bears, rainbow swirls, and dark monsters. Mr. Darling nods, staring at the images as he says "This is amazing work! Believe it or not, but when I was your age, I had this exact amount of skill. I believe you and I have more in common than you think."

🐻 James' eyes gleam, before he then looks down to his feet. "Hey, Wally...? Umm... do you see the odd things others don't? Or hear things others don't?"

🐻 You watch them both closely. Mr. Darling seems to think over his answer, before finally coming up with one. "Yes, I do. I mostly hear odd things, but I do see them, sometimes. Is that what you wanted to ask about?" James looks up to him, nodding. "Yeah... can I... can I ask some more?" "Of course. Anything you want." "Do you see the shadow man? The mean guy that says mean things? I believe he is quite mean. Have you met him?"

🐻 To your shock, Mr. Darling's smile falters for a brief second. It returns as soon as it left, however, before he hands James his notepad. "I don't see the shadow man very often. I do, however, have a pesky neighbor of my own. Do you want to know who it is?" James hesitates, before responding "Yeah. I feel like it might help you to talk about that mean neighbor."

🐻 Mr. Darling leans in, speaking very quietly to James. You still hear what he says, though, you are not sure if you were meant to. "The walls of my very own home say mean things to me, sometimes."

[pardonmymannerssir]

(I’ll just leave this here. No plot, mostly fluff, and I would argue spoiler free but exercise care.)

Rook x Lucanis

—————

Veraline stepped out onto the balcony, the humid breeze of Treviso cooling the lingering sweat on her skin. She could taste the sea and roses from the gardens below. The lights of villa Dellamorte and the city beyond were warm and comforting, the stars above a brilliant echo.

“It’s beautiful here,” she said, inhaling deeply.

Lucanis reclined on the balcony facing her, shirtless with his pants slung low on his hips. He hadn’t bothered to lace them and she tried valiantly not to stare. He had no such reservations.

“Hmm, a beautiful view certainly.” His eyes traced her body languidly and once they reached her eyes a hot blush splashed across her face and down her neck. Time had in no way made her immune to his charms.

Lucanis bit his lower lip and his brows drew down. “Mierda, when you blush like that… it spreads across your chest and I…” there was a flash of purple that receded quickly.

She reached out to place a hand on the smooth heat of his chest. Felt the heart beating there and wet her lips. “We are becoming rather… insatiable,” she teased.

He grinned and lifted her hand to press a hot kiss to the center of her palm. His beard was wonderfully rough against her skin and she raked her nails along his jaw. She wondered absently what he might look like without it.

When he released her his smile had turned almost foolish; free and full of what she could only describe as….love. No one had ever looked at her that way. She could only stand the weight of it for a moment before she turned her attention back to the city beyond him.

“I suspect not having the looming threat of gods and blighted dragons hanging over our heads might have something to do with it,” he said, sliding closer along the bannister to loop an arm around her waist. He pressed another kiss to the hollow of her shoulder, making her shiver.

She chuckled, not at all embarrassed at how breathless she sounded.

“Mmmm this night dress… where did you get it and why have I never seen it before?” His hand smoothed down her hip and over her backside, gripping firmly enough to make her breath catch.

“It’s new…” she managed as he traced his lips across her collar bone to linger at her leaping pulse. She tilted her head back in encouragement. “I bought it with a certain person in mind. I think he likes it.”

“The way it slides against your skin is quite… intriguing.” He illustrated this by using both hands to trace down the backs of her thighs to the backs of her knees and up again. Said knees nearly gave out.

It was becoming very hard to think clearly. How likely was it they were being observed out here? Considering where they were and who her… lover was probably pretty damn high.

Lucanis was now slowly hiking up the silk of her night gown -which had not been cheap- and the kisses along her jaw were becoming much more insistent. Hot and urgent with just a hint of teeth.

“D-didn’t you say you were hungry?” She asked as her body trembled and quivered like a tightly strung bow, ready to snap.

“Oh, I am,” he said in such a perfect growl that she couldn’t help but giggle, the sound high and honest enough that he drew back to smile up at her. She framed his face with her hands, some of the building tension between them tempering into something sweet and soft. He was so beautiful and kind and unexpected that tears pricked at her eyes.

He saw them, of course, and brushed the backs of his fingers along her cheek. “You are beautiful.”

Compliments. Ugh. “So are you,” she said lamely, it was true of course but as a deflection tactic it was rather pathetic.

He snorted. “First time I saw you, down in that hell, I thought I was hallucinating.”

She pressed her forehead to his as his arms enclosed her. “Because I was so suave and charming and talented?”

“Of course, and incredibly humble and accommodating.”

She grinned. “I believe I complained that you were awfully needy for a damsel in distress.”

He pulled back to look her in the eye. Expression playful and open. “And then you helped me kill half an army of Venatori and I was lost.”

“Taash says I do look very hot when I murder assholes.”

“They are very correct.”

“I just assumed they were referring to all the fireballs but, alas.”

He sighed in amused exaggeration. “You are also rather ridiculous.”

“I heard a rumor that it’s what you love most about me.”

“Well that and a few other things that come immediately to mind,” his gaze dipped pointedly down to the swell of her breasts.

“I presume you mean my unmatched wit and excellent taste in wine.”

“Of course,” he said with the smirk that always made her thighs clench.

She bent down and kissed him, lingering long enough for both their breathing to grow just a tad labored.

She pulled back as his hands began to wander. “How many Crows are watching us at this exact moment?”

“At least four,” he said with a touch of shame.

“Thought so,” she said and stepped back. “Come on, you promised me food and I think we’ve given our audience enough of a show.”

Lucanis gave her another winning smirk and drew her back toward the doors to his rooms beyond.

“Goodnight you two!” Called a mischievous voice from the shadows of the parapets beyond and Veraline waved a set of middle fingers joyfully into the night.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#5: You're My Family (S9E05)

✨Top 5!✨ Words can't even fully capture how much I adore this scene right here. 😭 But I'll try. - I am so grateful for it and for Danai for being a big reason why we got this moment. This is such a significant scene, especially because it’s Rick and Michonne’s final exchange of dialogue before Rick’s departure. And what a perfectly fitting, stunningly beautiful way to land their love story until they’re reunited again. The family and true love Rick and Michonne know they found within each other will always move me. And I know this scene is a hallucination, but listen, Michonne said it’s real, so it’s real to me too 😌...

(now if I went all out for my last 25 posts, then for my Top 5...🎵you know that I'm gon' be extra🎵 as we get into the big guns of this countdown. thanks for reading ♡)

I'll always love that Michonne is Rick’s final hallucination in his final full episode. It’s such a confirmation that she truly is home to him.

As I noted in my Reveling in Richonne post on this scene, the final stretch of a journey is often the most draining and challenging to get through, and it’s there when you need to tap into the most powerful source of strength and reflect on what most fuels you to keep going, so, of course, Rick's mind went to the ever-so-important love of his life - Michonne. 

And I love how any time we’ve seen Michonne in Rick’s mind, she's always this glowing, calming, goddess-like presence. No wonder Rick looks at her like she hung the moon and the stars all the time. 😊

It’s sweet seeing that while Rick's mind conjured up all the living people he loves on this bridge, it’s Michonne whom he envisions having a personal moment with. He needs her. And she’s so reassuring when she tells him it’s gonna be okay.

The real Michonne is going to be understandably distraught when she sees Rick bleeding out on this bridge, but here Rick imagined her as the calm, comforting, and life-giving presence she’s always been to him. 

And then it’s powerful for Rick to tell Michonne to take care of tf because he’s again passing the torch. Similar to him telling her she’d have to be the one to lead the others forward in Say Yes, Rick clearly believes so strongly that his people will be in good hands with Michonne as the leader. He knows this because he’s been in good hands with her as his leader. 🥲

And what a testament to Rick's trust and belief in her that he could know that this thing he’s dedicated his life to - protecting his people - is something that Michonne can continue. And as he thinks he's dying, it's like this moment is Rick personally finding solace in that Michonne will continue to hold things together if he doesn't make it.😭

Michonne encourages him, instilling faith that he'll get through this, and I always love the moment where Rick vulnerably says, "I can’t" because he’s always been allowed to be so human with her. I love that she says confidently, "You will, it’s not over," and it's just so believable when she says it.

And then, I have many favorite parts in this one scene, but the following part is particularly special because it is my favorite visual of Rick and Michonne of all time.

Like if you told me I could only ever look at one visual of Richonne again it would be this one right here where Rick and Michonne stare right into each other's souls as her eyes instill this blazing strength in him.

BREATHTAKING. 🤩😍🤗 It’s just beyond powerful and beautiful to me and perfectly illustrates the relationship and depth and strength of these soulmates so well. What this gorgeous power couple gives to each other is one of a kind. And as always, this moment is literally and figuratively magnetic. 🧲

I love that Michonne tells Rick adamantly, "We don’t die" as a motivating rendition of "We’re the ones who live" and a graphic novel nod. And again, when Michonne speaks, you just believe it.

I remember watching this live, unsure if Rick would survive or not, but when she said this I was like alright it is written, my baby Rick doesn’t die, cuz Michonne is always right...

But I also love her saying "we don't die" for its figurative meaning, as truly the love Richonne found with each other is endless and will never die.

And I adore that Rick looks her right in the eyes and nods, hearing and believing her even despite the odds and the pain. All versions of Rick can hear Michonne and allow her words to reach him. 

Then there’s this wonderful moment where Rick is about to exhaustedly hang his head and Michonne lovingly takes his face in her hands to both physically and emotionally lift him up. The movement just feels so symbolic of how she will not let him stay defeated and low. She always lifts him up like only she can.

I get teary over this whole scene, especially because of how powerful it is to see Rick have someone who can hold him up like this even in his toughest moments.

And because Michonne always knows what to say, she then brings the focus back to one of the most motivating, important, and inspiring things in their life - their love. 

When Michonne asks Rick, "You wanna know why I fell in love with you?" in that lovely tender tone, I was gagged then and I'm still gagged now. Like you would think one of us pitched this moment. 😋 It’s just so romantic, and I am forever elated that Rick and Michonne got to directly discuss their incredible love in their final conversation. 

(Also, again, you really can't watch this scene and then be surprised that TOWL is being called an epic love story. I repeat - Richonne's story has always been an epic love story. 😌)

At this moment on this bridge, where Rick needs the ultimate fuel to keep fighting, this is his own mind focusing specifically on the love supreme he found with Michonne - his guiding light, who has kept him going so many times before. Eternally here for it. 🙌🏾🥹

One of the many things that chokes me up about this gorgeous moment is when I stop to think about the start of Rick's TWD journey.

When we were first introduced to Rick he had a wife who wasn't sure if she was still in love with him and caught legitimate feelings for his best friend. And that very best friend ultimately plotted to kill Rick and told him his own family would move on from him because "they've done it before." Like that's so painful.

But then, in the wildest of circumstances - an apocalypse - Rick found a wife and a best friend all in one. He found the ultimate love of his life. He found Michonne - whose love for him runs so deep, so visible, and so certain always.

And where his hallucinations of Lori were more tormenting, here Rick is hallucinating his wife Michonne and envisioning her enveloping him in her consistent and unwavering love that has always meant the world to him.

And as Rick's mind imagines Michonne bringing up their love on this bridge, it's him in the potential final moments of his life also thinking about how honored he is to have loved her and been loved by her. 🥹

So after Michonne asks if he wants to know why she fell in love with him, it is so extremely moving the way Rick intently looks at her with a tear, eager for the answer.

And Michonne stays holding his face up as she tells him with conviction that she fell in love with him, "Because you're a fighter and you never give up." 😭 Exquisite. To see Rick be showered with this love and praise from his true love is just everything and more.

You can really tell that for Rick in this exact moment the only thing he's thinking about is her. Not the pain, not the turmoil, not the past or the future - just his wife's love.

And it's cool because in one of my Reveling in Richonne posts from years ago, I was analyzing that season 4 finale scene with Michonne in the car with Carl while she listened to Rick talk to Daryl outside. And I felt like that scene in the car and their special "Cuz I'm Okay Too' scene were signs that Michonne was falling in love with Rick, especially after Rick showed how far he'd go to protect his son in contrast to her previous partner. This is what I wrote way back then:

"Like she needs someone who won’t give up and she saw firsthand that Rick doesn’t give up, especially when his son is involved. And so I think this is when she starts really thinking of Rick differently."

The fact that years after that post, Michonne straight-up tells Rick she fell in love with him because he’s a fighter who doesn’t give up made me even more confident that my love timeline theory is pretty accurate and that I was on track with my studies in getting a Ph.D. in Richonne. 😂

She fell in love with him way back then. I mean, Danai has even said Michonne has been in love with Rick for a long time. (And I bet if Rick were to tell Michonne when he fell in love with her, it would suggest it was around season 4 as well.)

In this s9 hallucination, I love that Rick gets this uplifting encouragement from the woman he loves and has long been in awe of and that her words so clearly breathe life into him. Michonne has always breathed life into Rick, so it's only fitting that she did it one more time in this series.

And then I really love that she tells Rick, "Fight for me." 🥹 Oh it's perfect. It’s just touching knowing this is Rick’s mind telling him to fight for her. Fight for his wife. Fight for Michonne, the most important person in his life apart from his kids. 💯

I'm willing to bet that during the years that Rick's been taken away from Michonne and Judith, the words "fight for her" likely played in his head often and helped keep him going.

(Side note: This moment and "fight for me" line right here should tell everyone watching that Michonne is in a category of her own to Rick. It shouldn't need to be clarified cuz it's so obvious. But for anyone that still needed clarification, I love that TWD & TOWL promo has set the record straight (time & time again, amen) that Rick's wife and kid(s) are his ultimate choice. As I've noted before, one thing I've long known and long-loved about that man Rick Grimes is he gon' make it about Michonne every time and make sure everybody else knows what we've known for years - His wife and his kids are his everything. I'm not against a reunion with some of team family eventually, especially a reunion with Daryl after he watched over Richonne's kids - but I also just know viewers demanding to see all these different friends (and even enemies 😪) on screen with Rick again does not automatically mean Rick needs it. Within the actual story that we've been watching of Rick Grimes since the pilot episode of TWD, we can be confident that reuniting with his immediate family - Michonne, Judith, and RJ to be clear - will take precedence. As TWD has said, reuniting with each other is the only goal - as it should be when a man's been taken from his wife and kid(s). 👌🏽 While I haven't seen TOWL yet {which ahhh we're so close 🤗}, I've been quite positive for literal years that while Rick's been away, he's felt like all he is anymore is a man looking for his wife and child...And anyone who has got in the way of that is gonna lose.)

Rick knows that despite the pain and exhaustion on this bridge he has to keep fighting for the love of his life. And it makes so much sense why Michonne would fall in love with the fighter within him.

And then Michonne says, "Fight for all of us," because team family is of course important to them too. It's just Rick is a whipped man, see, and so even here there's this subtle aspect where Rick is staring straight at Michonne and really only looks to the side once Michonne turns to face the others. 😋

But then, as Rick does best, he puts his attention right back on Michonne and just warms my heart completely when he looks at her and says, “You’re my family. I found you.” Gospel truth and Utter Perfection. 😭

I adore how s9 Rick was just so vocal about his reverence and love for Michonne every chance he got, even in hallucinations. 🤩 And it is so sweet that in his final exchange with Michonne, and really his final dialogue with anyone, Rick gets to look at her and cherish finding family through her.

And with what a family man Rick is and has been since season 1, it is truly the greatest treasure in the world that, even after losing all his family from before the apocalypse, he still found a genuine family that became his life's fuel.

I love the way Rick places a hand on Michonne's shoulder to really emphasize that he found family in her.

It is so great that in this 9.05 episode where Rick is repeatedly talking about needing to find his family, his mission since s1, we get this lovely declaration that Michonne is so much of who he was always looking for. 🥹

And what a beautiful way he found her both in their actual life journey and in his mind’s mental journey this ep. 

Michonne’s tear as she smiles and again affirms him and says, "You did." Just beautiful and melts my heart.

Andy and Danai did a masterful job depicting the immense love Rick and Michonne have for each other in this scene. They always have, and of course, their final scene delivered on another level. 👏🏽👑

Truly this has been a stunning love story from the moment they laid eyes on each other in season 3 all the way to this s9 moment here (+ their s11 finale moment) - and now beyond as we look forward to Richonne's story continuing. 🤩🙌🏾

It’s heartbreaking that after a moment of such love and warmth, Rick then has to acknowledge that this exchange isn't actually happening in real life. He says, "But this isn't real", and then I will forever love that Michonne assuredly says, "Yes it is." 👏🏽

It is real. What they found with each other is real. The abundant love emitted between them in this scene is real. I feel like had Michonne actually been able to get to him on this bridge, the exchange could have gone similar to this (but like a lil more frantic probably cuz she'd be anxious to get him some medical help) But in many ways how Rick is picturing their love playing out here is so real and accurate.

So I love that Michonne got to confirm that the love and family she and Rick found in each other is real in any dimension. Since this is all in Rick's mind, it's like this is his mind also deciding that everything in this moment is real and something he has to fight for when he wakes up.

Then Rick and Michonne seal the moment with their precious final kiss within the TWD series and it's another perfect example of true love's kiss. Y'all this really is a love story for the ages and I’ll never stop shouting that from the rooftops. It’s beautiful. 🥰

It's fitting for Rick to imagine her kissing him and breathing life into him one more time because 🎵these are a few of his favorite things🎵. And if he's dying then Michonne's love is what his mind wants to remember before he goes.

(Also I wish the real Michonne got to know that on this bridge Rick was imagining her empowering him and kissing him one last time. 😭)

Finally, Michonne tells Rick to wake up, and the resilient king does as she wishes, notably without knocking out like he did the other times he hallucinated people, which to me is a nice subtle way to suggest there was something more real about Richonne's exchange than his previous hallucinations.

This scene is just gorgeous and touching and emotional and a lovely ode to what makes Richonne so special. We really are spoiled cuz we’re fed with gourmet content in each and every scene. And this scene was a feast and the perfect exchange to close out Richonne on the show. #I'mGrateful

Had this moment legitimately been their last exchange ever it would have done Richonne justice. Fortunately, though, we've finally arrived at a point where this won't be the last exchange between them. 🥳🙌🏽 Soon, this 9.05 scene will have to be referred to as Rick and Michonne's 'final convo in TWD,' because more Richonne content is coming. And this is why...

In this Top 5 moment from Rick's last full TWD ep (where Andy and Danai gave a masterclass in each scene they had both together and apart 👏🏽) I adore that this final intimate exchange between them served as a reminder that Rick and Michonne fell in love, that they don’t die, and that what they found in each other is a beautiful family that is forever real and everlasting. The ultimate win.

I will always celebrate that Rick and Michonne found the truest family in each other and that they will soon find each other again. 😌

[itzrafee]

One Piece Chapter Discussion (Chapter 1126)

Ooh looks like the mystery continues with Yamato investigating the disappearances. I am so curious to see what kind of long lasting effects this will have as with this chapter we’re getting some resolution on a six to seven year old cover story. It’s nice to see Oda expanding on the story around Wano as it’s clear he had a lot of thoughts around it when he was writing it that he didn’t get to explore. I’m also quite curious as to what will happen with the cover stories the closer we get to the end. Whereas he has space to explore other facets of Wano through the cover story, is that something he’ll be able to do with Elbaph with it being so close to the end? Anyways, the rest of the discussion, which is spoiler filled, can be found below the cut!

I don’t know about y’all but I think it would be absolutely terrifying to be where the Straw Hats are in this first page if they weren’t allies with the giants. They straight up just kinda look like their dinner. But we’re not talking about Big Mom so I think the Straw Hats are probably safe. Also while somewhat terrifying, the designs of the Giants are great, they all ooze personality and joviality. I would not want to see them angry either. It’s interesting that the name of the absinthe they’re drinking is the “Green Fairy” and that it can cause hallucinations. Is that just set up to explain how and why the two parties got separated or is it set up for some absinthe-driven hallucinations? 

It’s interesting to me on a story structure level that this chapter kind of illustrates how Oda might have to delve into more slice of life stuff with the crew going forward. That before making this chapter important by flitting around the world and getting updates, Oda first spends some time with the crew just having fun and goofing off. It satisfies the pre-timeskip crowd clamoring for these types of scenes, me among that crowd.

This small sequence with Bonney also gets me right in the heart. Not only does she feel comfortable enough to finally be a child and not put on the airs of a grown adult that the One Piece world requires of people but also she gets to finally be free with her father. One Piece has this startling quality to it that makes the reality of war and oppression so real by contrasting the comedic with the emotional. And nothing hits quite as hard as the fate of the children of this series. We see through the suffering of the Straw Hats as children, Nami, Sanji, and Robin, among a few other characters throughout the series, on how oppression forces you to grow up and be stronger than any child should have to be. In recent arcs that oppression is a reality our young adult Straw Hats face head on. From Otama and Toko in Wano to the metaphors of growing up too fast that Bonney and Momo face us with, Oda is able to use these fantastical elements to deliver truths in more digestible ways. The tragedy of Momo and Bonney having to grow up so fast is such a potent and heart wrenching way to show this side of opression. But Oda is able to provide us with a catharsis that the real world so often denies by having Bonney feel safe again. By having Momo be safe and surrounded by loved ones.

Moving on from that dour and entirely too real note, we finally get a resolution on a cover story from wayyyy long ago where Bartolomeo burned down Shanks flag in Luffy’s name. And there’s a lot to talk about here. For such a fan-favourite and an audience surrogate for many, including myself, It’s odd that it’s been so long since we’ve seen Barto(don’t even get me started on Bon Clay!!). But it’s interesting that Oda seems to understand his impact as it seems like he’s being placed on the same level as Kid and Law in a way. Now this might be a little tin foil hatty of me but don’t you find it odd that Kid, Law, and Barto, all devil fruit users by the way, were all sunk at sea in the New World, the most dangerous sea maybe aside from the Calm Belt? 

And if we remember certain man with a burn scar who was first mentioned in chapter 1056(56=GoMu) and then again brought up in 1081 where it was mentioned that anyone who comes close to him gets swallowed up by whirlpools, I think we might have an option for what might’ve happened to those three. Adding on to that, if we go allll the way back to chapter 2 and full tin foil hat, we can see Luffy getting sucked into a whirlpool soon after he sets out on his journey but then bursting out of a barrel sometime after with Koby. In my head, I can totally see the aforementioned three joining Luffy on Elbaph, especially now that’s been separated from his crew. Maybe Luffy was also kidnapped by this whirlpool wielding man with a burn scar…again.

Okay, fanciful thinking aside we still gotta talk about how we’ve seen Shank’s main crew be ruthless badasses. Lucky Roux in Chapter 1 straight killed a dude while the whole crew laughed. Benn Beckman not only threatened Kizaru but also cut off Kid’s arm. And here, Yassop basically has a cannon attached to his gun and blows up a fleeing Barto Club. While these guys may seem easygoing, they’re still stone cold pirates. Also that ultimatum with the poison was pretty cold too. Barto’s ship blowing up also shows how lethal Yassop’s Haki must be, because I can imagine that Barto might’ve tried to shield his ship with his devil fruit.

I find it curious that Koby was so important to Blackbeard’s plans. I wonder if Blackbeard wanted to use Koby like how the Marines used Ace? We know how much Blackbeard’s plans mean to him. His scheming, though a lot of the time quite impromptu, is half the reason he’s an emperor already. And Blackbeard is in prime position to execute some big time operations. Not only does he have leverage in Garp(though thinking about it, wouldn’t the marines be glad to be rid of him?), he also has Pudding and all the knowledge Caribou brings. Oda makes it a point to show that Caribou has finally gotten to Blackbeard. It’s interesting that he’s surveilling the Revolutionary's too. Especially with Lafitte. Maybe he’s trying to get the heat off of himself by having Lafitte do some undercover hits and then blame it on the Revo’s?

Though, weirdly, the most important tidbit here to me is that Moria got away. It seems most likely that Moria will join Cross Guild as it seems to be the place for Warlord Alumni and Perona already has connections there in the form of Mihawk. I’d originally thought that Blackbeard was going to get Moria to reanimate Kaido, Big Mom, and Garp’s corpses with the obstacle standing in their way being that Blackbeard was responsible for Absolams death but now it seems like Moria’s going to be a player for Cross Guild, with at least the Yonkou resurrections still on the table. Also if Cross Guild is the place to be for former Warlords then we could see Boa join too. And maybe even Kuma and Doflamingo if the latter breaks out of Impel Down. Which I kinda hope he does just purely due to the fact that it might provide a path for Bon Clay to get out too.

This scene with Bonney and Jinbei is adorable but uhh, what’s Lilith staring at? Could she be communicating with Vegapunk?

Finally, in the last page we get some weird shenanigans happening. First, someone wakes Nami up but it appears that she’s alone. She’s had a change of clothes and seems to be in a lego house. The floor is kind of undeniable proof of that even if you want to try and explain away everything else. And finally, she seems to be alone. The going theory seems to be that this is Prince Loki’s lego house and that he’s playing with the StrawHats like toys. He could’ve been the one to call out for Nami. He could be a fan of the StrawHats. And honestly, that theory kinda makes sense, I totally subscribe to it. Loki could be a somewhat petulant giant like Big Mom. I also don’t think the impatient figure at the end of 1124 is him either as that seemed to be a human who was drinking, my going theory about that person being that it was Scopper Gaban, the third crew member of the Roger Pirates after Roger and Rayliegh. See ya next week!

[blackbird5154]

Nihil as the embodiment of the tendency to escapism

There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.  — Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I really dislike this character, but I will try to be impartial as much as possible. So, Nihil is an illustration of a severe escape from reality, a desire to bring back the past, to stop time. In the era of the Third, he brought back the Middle Ages as Papa Zero. In the Cardinal era, he was slipping his old records onto store shelves (so people would know about them? Or rather to create the illusion that they were for sale again?) and regretted not being allowed back on stage as a frontman. Hence his envy of Copia, his constant belittling of him, emphasizing that he hadn't achieved some results and comparing him to himself. Nihil felt that this place legitimately belonged to him, with no regard at all to his health capabilities. Eventually, he got three of his old songs performed in the era of his successor.

Escape into illusion is the main way Nihil interacts with reality. Immersing himself in his enchanting fantasies where everyone is young and beautiful again, he overlooked a fateful decision and allowed his sons to be killed. The illusions are like a membrane through which he perceives the world around him. Sister got him to appoint Cardinal as frontman because from the depths of his erotic fantasy he answered ‘yes’ to her and that became an answer to her question. In fact, he did not make any decision.

Maybe inhaling oxygen from the life support system is having that effect on his brain. Sometimes I think it's not just oxygen, but something else mixed in. He takes a breath from the tank when he sees Sister wrapped in bandages and confined to a hospital bed - and the semi-darkness of the room immediately turns to sunlight, everyone becomes beautiful and happy, and Sister flirts with him instead of wheezing. Reality becomes bearable. We also hear the sound of breathing into an oxygen mask (similar to Darth Vader's breathing) in the background of the scene in episode 7 when Nihil sees the 'ghosts' of young Sister and himself. Perhaps all that is happening is his hallucination caused by inhaling ether. 

Nihil is so incapable of accepting his current moment of existence that he always keeps his oxygen mask at the ready. He probably sees Sister as the strong, active person who will contact reality in his place while he enjoys his fantasies. We know what Sister is doing behind his back: killing his children and promoting her son, giving him as much patronage and privilege as she can.

Eventually, in the RHRN movie, Nihil seems to finally become able to make contact with reality: he is already a ghost and no longer uses a breathing support system. Sister makes him remember his paternal duties, and he gives parental guidance to Copia. Along the way, he realizes his place in life, in his family and at work. He is finally here and now, not in his fantasy world. It took him dying to do it.

Well, better late than never.

[pfirsichspritzer]

In the mood for Regency ghosthunters? Look no further!

It was an honor to illustrate CandraJade's amazing story Reason in Madness for the @lockwoodandcobigbang2023.

We're writing the year 1811. Lucy's family has always been bothered by her "hallucinations" about voices no one else could hear. After a fatal accident at the mill she's working at Lucy finds herself at Bedlam, London's hospital for the mentally ill, infamous for the cruel way the patients are treated. Can meeting a mysterious stranger change her fate?

Here is an illustration of the end of chapter 7:

And the team in their regency era attire. Notice the difference in Holly's and Lucy's maid uniforms?

[tomboyyyaoi]

i really truly love the scene where vash is out cold and hallucinating about all the people hes lost in a dark void when he sees rem behind them all ans starts grabbing for her only for them all to dissappear but as light starts to fade into the void he hears meryl's voice he hears her talk about how honoured she is to be by his side and how shes ride or die for him and will do anything to not drag him down and he wakes up, it snaps him out of it, the way its illustrated as him falling into this void of despair with everyone hes lost falling just out of reach but the light comes in as they all start to fade away and its meryl, then he wakes up with that feather on his face, is it his? is it another plant's? we never get an answer but he jolts up grabbing for it its such a good scene. so fucking good sosososo good.

ita a great example of how vash and meryls dynamic is not just a romance and/or a friendship but a deep mutual support, theyr eachothers motivation and driving force at the end, theyr not only doing it for eachother but everyone, they represent the bridging of the gap between plants and humans. i just. god. i love them so much.

[loth-creatures]

Sabine’s story you say? 👀👀👀

Ah yes, the elusive secret sabine's-backstory fic I slowly but surely chisel at on the rare occasion I have writing motivation. No promises on ever finishing it but I will publish at least some of it eventually I prommy

Here's one of my favorite snippets so far (below cut). Plus a lil illustration bc for a while this scene was burning through my skull but I couldn't seem to write it so I drew it instead.

Another snippet here, since two people asked about this :)

Sabine didn't know what she expected to see when she eventually picked her way to the bottom of the ramp, but it certainly wasn't a vast expanse of rolling golden plains, rippling in the wind like the pelt of a massive beast. Near certain she was hallucinating, she pulled her helmet off, forced to squint against the brightest sunlight she'd seen in months. Between endless night jobs on planets with filthy atmospheres divided only by days in hyperspace, the sensation was nearly alien.

Sabine felt the warmth on her skin and stared down at her hands, transfixed by the sun painting her skin in fiery gold, and the fierce yet gentle warmth of fire she hadn't felt in so long it hurt. For a moment she could have been sitting on her father's knee as a little girl, watching her mother work the forge, in the dead of a bitter winter. When the sun hadn't shown through the storm clouds for weeks, and the heat and amber light of the forge felt like her family's own little sun that would keep them warm and safe until summer.

Tears pricked at her eyes, something like homesickness swelling in her chest. This sun felt like summer in some distant past, illustrated in children's stories, the only place Sabine thought so much grass existed until now. The oceans of grass that once covered Mandalore's steppes, long before Sabine was born, long before endless war tore her homeland apart. Only stories, she'd thought. How could there possibly be so much unscorched land on one planet? All of the galaxy Sabine had seen so far was scarred and torn and mined far beyond any planet's capacity to survive. But not here it seemed, not yet.

It can't be real, Sabine thought.

She had to be dreaming. It sure felt like a dream, her head felt like it was floating and her movements seemed to lag far behind her. She wasn't holding her helmet anymore, couldn't remember setting it down. She didn't recall taking steps off the ship's ramp into the grass either, yet now it was brushing against her knees, leaving clinging seedlets on the weathered fabric of her borrowed clothes. Sabine reached down to touch it and her legs buckled.

Definitely not a dream. The cuts on her knees still stung as they hit the ground, her hands and ribs and head still ached. And the grass wasn't nearly as soft as she thought it would be, the stiff fronds bent and crunched beneath her. Not a dream. Just more exhaustion. Sabine knew she wasn't getting back up again, her body felt so heavy. But maybe, for right now, that was okay. Maybe, for a little while, there was nothing to run from.

She didn’t remember lying down, but the soft wind whispered through the delicate wall of grass that now surrounded and concealed her, thin dancing shadows making the sunlight flicker over her face. For the first time since the day she'd run, the unyielding pull of unconsciousness felt less like snapping jaws dragging her under, and more like a familiar and welcome embrace. And for once, she didn't fight it.

[marley-manson]

Honestly I think the scene in Paradise Found where Xena hallucinates herself snapping Gabrielle's wrist is one of my favourite moments of the show.

Like first of all the aesthetics and vibes of like 4/5ths of this episode (let's not speak of those painfully bad fiveish minutes) are immaculate, and that scene is beautiful, in an incredible and effective contrast to the horrific action on screen and Xena's deteriorating mental state.

But mostly I just love the unabashedly, disturbingly dark depiction of Xena. The sequence is framed as what Xena wants in that moment. "I'll show you what I want," is what she says. She wants to lash out, she wants to cause pain. There's the whole magical aura causing her dark side to like, gain strength of course. This isn't her average day-to-day state of mind, certainly not with Gabrielle. But the episode begins with Gabrielle pointing out that Xena enjoyed her latest fight, and wondering what's more important to her - the good she's fighting for, or the fight itself? And like, the whole point of this episode is to depict Xena's "dark" sadistic side as the most significant part of her, the core of her being, essentially. It's extra heightened here, but it's still ever-present elsewhere.

There is a significant part of Xena, a dominant part, even a driving part, that wants to hurt people. She harnesses that part of her to do good, but the show is sometimes wonderfully stark in its depiction of her darkness, and what it could lead her to do without Gabrielle's, and her own, tempering judgement.

Like, it's such a harsh little scene. It's sudden and intense and scary. And it's just so fucking gratifying to watch a show with a female protagonist who's allowed to be genuinely frightening, without even needing to change. Where the moral of the story is that yes, part of you is frightening, and potentially dangerous to those around you, but that part is still important.

The part of her deep, deep down that wants to hurt Gabrielle when Gabrielle mildly annoys her is necessary. One assumes that without a magical influence drawing it out, it would be a fleeting, easily dismissed wisp of a thought, rather than an overwhelming, hallucinatory urge. A moment of dumb, irrational emotion channeled into a later battle for good, or a workout, or hell, sex, maybe. But the seed is there, and the show revels in it, sans moral judgement. I mean, even in this very episode Xena's darkness is what saves the day. The show tells us that this is what makes Xena a hero. Her sadism doesn't need to be conquered, it needs to be harnessed and thrust in the right direction. And even more than that, it's something we're meant to enjoy about Xena, part of the core of what makes the show entertaining.

And it's great when it comes out in lighter scenes too, like a cupid's-arrow-influenced Xena sparring with Draco and full on backhanding him as foreplay, or telling Ares she likes the look of him impaled on her sword, or just when she grins as she improvises an entertaining way of fighting 10 mooks; and it's great when it comes out in dark but still action-oriented scenes, like her command of the Athenians in The Price, or her assault on the village in Ties That Bind, or even the Gab-drag.

But when that sadism comes out in a genuinely shocking, grotesque scene of disturbing, abusive, petty violence edited like a moment from a horror movie... well there's something a little extra delightful about that, to me lol. Even if it didn't actually happen, that image of Xena is so powerfully illustrative and interesting and, as far as I'm aware, virtually unique to female heroes in the way the urge behind it is still ultimately framed positively, and I adore it to pieces.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

They live here now

Ok so rather than spend an eternity sketching this out, I'll write it! STORY TIME!

CW: some descriptions of body horror (it's a hallucination)

@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau @tmntaucompetition

Prev || Next || Illustration

They'd decided to split up, in the end. That way they could cover more ground. The No Fun in Fungus Mikey had gone with the Until I Found You April and Karai. The others had gone off in their own little teams, with Mikey.02 going with the semi-evil Donnie and the morally grey Leo going with the Raph with anxiety issues and huge spikes on his elbows, taking Misa with them.

Mikey didn't want to pick favourites, but he had to say he was so ecstatic to spend more quality time with Gram-Gram. He'd teared up when he first saw her, and almost cried when she'd suggested that he come with them. Of course, mutant April was cool, too! But Mikey stayed close - almost uncomfortably close - to his alternate universe gram-gram. It took all his willpower to keep from holding her hand, clutching it tightly, wrapping his arms around her in a long-overdue hug. But he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He tried to keep his hands to himself. But that only made him focus on his scars and bandages, picking and scratching nervously at the marks that decorated his forearms and fingers.

"...Are they uncomfortable?" Karai asked, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"Huh? Oh! Uh, well, no, not anymore, really. Donnie got me these really cool compression gloves, and they help a lot. It's just a lot of scarring, now. But it looks cool, right?" He chuckled.

"Then why do you irritate the wounds?"

Mikey didn't really have an answer to that.

"Um... I guess... I'm just not used to them. I know they aren't bad or anything, but... they tell a story, y'know? And... I don't really like that story."

"I understand," Karai said, nodding softly and taking his hand in hers.

Mikey's stared down at the clasped hands. He smiled, squeezing her hand in his.

"Is it alright if I hold your hand? It will help keep you from fidgeting with the injuries," she asked.

"Yes," Mikey chuckled, awing at the irony. "That's fine! I don't mind."

The group pressed on. They walked past the many stands offering refreshments, references, lil kid coups, and villain squads to take over the surface world. There was a colourful assortment of characters they passed, each one having a somewhat familiar Leo with them.

"How will we tell which one is yours?" April asked.

"He's got really noticeable scars on his shell and plastron," Mikey explained. "Plus he's wearing blue nail polish. I painted his nails myself a few days ago."

"I think the prominent shell injuries will be easier to spot than the polish, but that's helpful," Karai noted.

"Look there!" April shouted suddenly, pointing towards a small cloud of blue in the distance.

The trio ran towards the smoke, finding several of the contestants screaming and crying as they tried to get away. Unseen by all, a disembodied sentient hand began scuttling away from the scene.

"There it is!" April shouted. "Get it! We get the hand, we find the alternate Leo!"

April immediately gave chase, Mikey and Karai calling after her to wait, be careful, it wasn't what it seemed. She didn't hear them.

She simply kept running after it, hoping beyond hope that her somewhat unreliable powers could help her catch the little creep. It certainly was fast! It slithered under a team of turtles, past April's reach. She concentrated hard, focused on the hand, and...

Poof!

April landed in a small area a few feet away from the hand, which somehow saw her - despite not having eyes - and attempted to stop itself. It slid on the floor, desperately trying to go in the opposite direction, when April's feline reflexes kicked in and she pounced on the creature. She placed all of her weight on the hand, crushing it under her stomach as she reached down and grabbed it by its wrist and gripped it with all her might.

"Ha! Gotchya! No scurrying away now -"

The hand threw the spores into her face. How?! Where had it gotten that secret stash from?! It wasn't as though it had pockets or anything to carry the extra fear spores in! April hacked and coughed, rejecting the air from her lungs and backing away. She felt the hand wriggling furiously in her palms. She held on to it with a death grip.

"No, no! You won't get away that easily, I don't care what you show me..."

April stood up, glaring at the arena before her as it slowly melted away.

"Now... show me what you've got."

The halls went dark. The crowds turned and looked at her. They started screaming. Faces came into focus... Dale, Kendra, Jason, Jeremy, Taylor Martin: the coolest girl in school, Seigel the lizard boy... all her "friends" from the school she'd had to quit. All of her previous bosses and employers, little Timmy from Albearto's, the guy who always dropped his groceries... they were here, too? And they all looked terrified of her. Disgusted by her. Some people started throwing stones and rocks at her, shouting at her to "get away from us, freak!" A bruise formed on her arm. April's knees started to shake. If this wasn't real... then why did it hurt like it was? She took a step back. The hand kept trying to wrestle itself free. She pressed it against her chest, digging her fingernails into it. It returned the favour. Still, she held on. She turned away from the crowds, only to be met by her mother and father.

"Mom? Dad...? What... what's wrong?"

"April, honey? Is... is that you?"

This wasn't a hallucination. This was a memory. Her parents, loving and understanding as they were, were terrified and horrified when she'd come home that night, covered in fur and sporting a brand new tail.

"What... what happened to you, sugar?" Her dad asked, his eyes pooling with tears behind his glasses.

"I... I know it looks bad, but..."

"We want our little baby back," her mom sobbed. "We want our sweet little April! Give her back to us!"

"What? I'm the same as I've always been! I just... got a little update, that's all!" April tried to choke down the sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. "You... Mom and Dad never said that. They... they weren't - they aren't scared of me! I'm not a monster!"

"Yes you are."

April's eyes widened as the voice echoed all around the halls. It was deafening. She took a step back, felt something crunch and crack underneath her shoes. She looked down, and saw she was standing on a broken mirror. It's shards showed a deformed amalgamation of a beast, hairy and gnarled and bones bending the wrong way, large and warped and horrible! It looked like one of the giant zombie bosses from the video games she played, flesh turning in odd angles and folds, the four eyes burning and glowing but nearly falling out of the face, held in by loosely fitted bags of skin. The hair was snarled and the teeth were jagged. She It had four arms instead of two, and each set looked different. One pair was human - hers, her wonderful beautiful human skin spackled with mangey tufts of yellow hair. The other set of arms were smaller, almost animal-like... she knew exactly who they'd belonged to.

"You are a monster. You meant to save him, but you ended up killing him. You wanted to be his saviour, but you became his demise."

April screamed at the sight, the reflection howling and roaring right back at her. She ran from it, it followed her. The room got darker the further she ran away. She tripped over something, screaming with fear as the monster came closer...

...

"Where did she go?!" Karai yelled angrily. Not at Mikey, not meaning to be aggressive, but quite obviously she was worried. April had no idea what she was getting into with this thing! They didn't even know what that hand really was! It could be an oni, or a demon, or a interdimensional force, for all they knew!

The duo kept running through the crowds, searching for their friend.

"She's gotta be here somewhere," Mikey huffed as he tried to keep up with Karai.

Suddenly, a scream.

"Found her."

The two rushed towards the screams, and found April running at them frantically, her eyes glazed over with a blue tint, her arms hugging the hand close to her as she barrelled towards them. Mikey pulled out his nunchucks to stop her, and golden chains burst forth - one of which wrapped around her ankle and caused April to trip.

"Nicely done," Karai complimented.

Mikey beamed with pride, as the two dashed to April, who was still shrieking and trying to get away from whatever terrified her so.

"April? Can you hear me, April?" Karai tried.

April hyperventilated, her breaths short but fast. She wasn't getting enough air in her lungs...

"April!" Mikey shouted. "It's me and Gram-Gram!"

"Oh please, not you too," Karai mumbled under her breath. She'd save it for later, they had more pressing matters at hand... Karai knelt by the young girl. Mikey danced nervously around them, reaching for his AU friend.

"I can use my ninpo to snap her out of it--"

"No," Karai ordered, holding a hand out to keep Mikey at bay. "As painful as this is, I suspect that if she is under the spore's spell, she can counter it and use it."

"Use it... how?"

Karai ignored him, scooting in closer to April. She reached forwards and placed her hand on her shoulder, a soft green glow emanating from the touch.

"April. If you can hear me, know that you can beat this. You CAN beat it. This is nothing more than a fear, a thought, something you came up with, and as such you can destroy it. You shall not be challenged with something beyond your abilities!"

"I... I can't," April whimpered. "You're not seeing what I see..."

"That means nothing. You can beat it regardless."

"NO!" she screamed, clutching onto the evil hand so tightly that it turned purple. "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! I'M NOT -- I'M NOT BRAVE LIKE YOU, I CAN'T FIGHT WHOLE DEMONS OR CURSED SETS OF ARMOR OR MONSTERS OR ALIENS OR--!"

"But you can, wakai hito, you can!" Karai insisted. "You ARE brave! I have seen you be brave! Just because you experience fear does not mean you are absent of courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the confrontation of it! It is how we respond to our terrors that is what is so important. And right now, I need you to help us."

"H-help?" she whimpered. "What do you...?"

"April, I believe that by using my ninpo, I can connect you to the spores hive-mind. You can use them to search for Leonardo. But you MUST defeat your fears first!"

"Come on, April!" Mikey joined in. "You got this!"

...

April thought about it. The monster came crashing through the glass, roaring at her. She stared it down.

Defeat my fear. Defeat my fear. Defeat my fear.

Okay then.

April stood up, staring the gross frankensteinian beast in its misshapen eyes. Drool dripped from their fangs, it snarled and heaved its heavy breath and growled low at her. April casually walked towards it.

"I know what you're scared of. And it's not that we killed him," she said, tears pricking her eyes as she crept closer to the ugly thing.

It growled louder at her. She took another step forwards. It took one step back.

"And it isn't that everyone else thinks that we're a monster, or a freak, or an outcast. They thought that long before we ever mutated, and it never bothered us."

The beast whimpered as she continued to come closer and closer. Its arms went slack, its deformed body turning in on itself as it tried to get away from her, terrified of her. The broken form betrayed itself, the legs caving in under the body, the stubby little arms cracking under the weight as it tried to hold its grotesque self up. It lay on the ground whimpering and whining and crying as April O'Neil stood over it.

"I'm not afraid of you," she said, her voice wavering as she finally admitted the truth. "I'm afraid of me. I'm afraid that... I'll never accept this. I'm afraid that who I am now... will never be who I wanted to become. I'm afraid that I will hate myself and blame myself for as long as I'll live. But that isn't true. It can't be, I won't let it be," April said, tears stinging her eyes and voice shaking as she knelt down by the monster, which had slowly been re-forming, changing into a proper reflection. It looked exactly like her, before she had been mutated. Her human form.

"I'm not afraid of you," she assured the frightened reflection. "And... and I forgive you, too. It wasn't your fault. You can let it go..."

April wrapped her arms around the reflection, who stiffened, and then went limp, sobbing into her jacket.

"I'm sorry."

The world erupted into light and darkness.

The figure burst into tiny specks of glowing blue light, fluttering away into the sky like stars determined to become a constellation, and April found herself floating, out of her own body, like a ghost. This must be the whole "pinpo" thing Karai was always going on about... The world was dead to her, she was far beyond it. It was a void, but not an empty one. It was filled with stars and light and souls and voices and music and webs - lines that connected one light to another.

"...pril! If you can... hear me.... Leo... find Leo!"

"Karai? Is that you?"

"Find Leo... hurry!"

Right, right! Find Leo. April began swimming in the near-emptiness around her, the realm that resembled outer space. A flicker of light soared past her. She reached out and touched it.

April gasped for air as she became an intangible ghost, witnessing someone's fear as they were spore-bombed... a moth/butterfly creature, watching as a thousand million spiders came for them.

She released the light, and found herself back in the void. So... each of these lights was a person, and their hallucinations from the mushroom spores!

"How am I supposed to find one mutant turtle in all of this?!" she shouted.

Her echoes flowed through the cavernous nothingness. Well, not complete nothingness, there was... wait, what was that?

Far off in the distance, there was a black hole. A dark spot, inky devastation, with nothing but a singular blue spark in the center, dimly lit and slowly fading. April soared towards it.

The darkness was suffocating. It was cold, frigid, and lonely. She had to hurry, she could feel herself slipping away from this place... waking up, coming to....

The tiny light she'd seen was no bigger than a firefly, blinking sadly and losing its will to keep the light going. April cupped her hands under it, holding it close.

And she waited to be transported into the fear. But nothing happened. The light from her hands faded away, but she was left drifting in the black hole.

She was utterly, painfully alone.

No... There was a shadow, floating nearby... A person?

"Leo?"

He didn't seem to hear her. She tried moving towards him, but couldn't get her phantom self to move in this place. She stretched her arm out, trying oh so desperately to get to him...

Her arm ignited in flame and a ghostly extension grew, reached out, her ninpo hand getting closer and closer and closer... but the world began to fade around her. She was running out of time!

"Leo!" she shouted desperately.

He turned softly.

His eyes were half-shut, but glowing an ominous shade of blue. His cheeks were stained with tears, which were also a bright neon glow-in-the-dark blue. He looked like a zombie, like he didn't even register who she was so much as the fact that she'd disturbed him.

He sadly reached out a hand... and touched her ninpo fingers.

APRIL WAS SNAPPED BACK TO REALITY SO FAST THAT IT GAVE HER WHIPLASH, A THOUSAND VISIONS FLOODING IN HER HEAD AND CAUSING HER TO SCREAM IN PAIN. SHE SAW THE DESTRUCTION, THE DEVASTATION, THE PAIN AND MISERY AND HURT AND LONELINESS. SHE SAW HIM REACH FOR HIS PACK AND FIND THE CONTENTS MISSING, HIS DETERMINATION TO RETRIEVE THEM, HIS CHASE AFTER THE HAND, THE ROOM --

...

"APRIL!" Mikey shouted, shaking her as she woke up. "ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"I-I'm... I'm alright," she panted, a cold sweat running down her neck and soaking her back. "That... that was kind of intense..."

"What was it like?" Karai asked nervously. "You were... not really present here. I sensed you'd gone to some other plane, or dimension - when I touched you, It felt like the Twilight Realm all over again..."

"It... I don't know what it was," April said, breathing heavily as she rubbed her arms from where the hand had scratched her... wait...

"Where... where's the hand.PNG?! Where did it go?!"

"You dropped it when you... hugged whatever it was you saw," Mikey whimpered. "We should have gone after it, but once you let go you started glowing and floating and were in your weird trance thing, and the hand sort of vanished."

"That's... that's alright, we don't need it anyway."

"Did you see him?" Mikey begged. "Did you find Leo?"

"I did," she said, the memory of that cold, dank, dark place slowly seeping back and causing her spine to freeze like ice and her hair to stand up on the back of her neck. "I saw him. He doesn't have much time left."

"W-Whaddya mean, he doesn't have much time left? What's happening to my brother??" Mikey whimpered.

"I don't know. But I think he's... he's stuck in the spores. Stuck in the hallucination, and if we don't find him soon--"

"But what's the worst that can happen? He has a heart attack or something? Could he literally be scared to death?"

"I fear it's much worse than that," Karai said, her voice low. "Michelangelo, you told me that the spores were connected to a larger mushroom?"

"Y-yeah, why--"

"I think that the longer he stays in his hallucination, the more... under its control he becomes? He barely reacted when he saw me, he looked like a sleepwalker or something," April explained. "We have to get him out before..."

"...Before what?" Mikey squeaked in terror, his head slowly retracting into his shell.

"I don't know for sure. But don't you worry," April said, standing up and dusting herself off. "I know where he is."

[strangerthanfictive]

Recognizing You Have a Fictitious Identity

An Informal Discussion Between 2 Fictive Headmates Key - Sorrel - Sorrel Accent Text - Aster - Aster Accent Text Why am I me? Why did the brain choose him out of countless other characters to make a pitiful clone of? That was the first mystery I had to solve; the homework the doc gave me. And I know it was for the best that things move fast, yeah? A head-start before I get a chance to start to feel things about this "life," these "memories" I have that are just fabrications of a broken mind. But then I also needed to recall those memories of this person that I really am (but feel like I'm suddenly inhabiting) to figure it out in the first place. I remember thinking; how in the hell am I going to go about this? Rewatch the show, and take notes whenever I feel like something aligns with our trauma? Is the doc expecting me to, like, draw up a venn diagram and bring it next week? Do I just think about the two of me—of body and fiction—and the answer will just come to me? Honestly, I didn't even think about that question for months. I asked myself why I was here moreso in the sense that I was stuck in someone else's body and needed to find a way to get home so that they could get their body back and I could get back to my family. It took me nearly a year to actually realize that we're all part of the same whole; that I took on this identity and more importantly, that I could part with it should I want to. I remember that call with our therapist very vividly. I was seeing her—"my" mother—as in, hallucinating her corpse in places nearly nightly beyond just nightmares. Her body is never explicitly shown in the comics, and our imagination filled in the blanks. I had broken down crying, and I was telling our therapist; "I'm so tired. I don't want to be him anymore!" Without hesitation, she told me,

"You don't have to be."

...And I was gobsmacked. I was thinking, What do you mean? I have all of these memories and I've held onto them for 11 months! It cannot be that simple. Ironically, just as I had that thought, I realized...yes, yes it absolutely was that simple. I did not have to subject myself to someone else's trauma—let alone someone who isn't real—when, frankly, I have my own tonterías to deal with.

I had the privilege of being your successor, being the second fictive on the block, and you told me pretty much day 1 that I don't need to have any sort of connection or feeling about my source. That of course helped, but I think it was also easier on me with it being a show. I could just look up the actor and see yeah, he's got a whole other life and other roles. On top of that, by rewatching it, I'm seeing the stuff I remember as my memories from the perspective of an omniscient camera—how I'm supposed to in the first place, and not through a character's eyes. Being a fictive of live action media VS illustration...it's no contest on what's easier to shake yourself out of.

But still, that question just loomed over me. Why him? Obviously, the doc didn't tell me I had to completely figure it out in a week, but I do love a distraction from my own existential dread challenge. So I hyperfixated on unpacking every bit of trauma this sorry bloke had to see if there were any parallels for basically every bit of free time I had. I honestly don't remember how long it took; whether I got it done in the week. I just remember the moment it clicked for me. I find it so fascinating how she handled our cases in reverse. We didn't start to unpack the "why" of my source until after I had changed my name, appearance, and age.

That might be thanks to you, mate. You didn't know any better than to treat your "memories" as real off the bat.

That's a very good point. In the event that there are more fictives in our system going forward, they may reach a point of understanding fact from fiction even quicker than you. But I digress.

I don't think I ever asked myself, "Why him?" An answer came to me without me truly seeking one out. That answer certainly explained a lot about me, but nevertheless, it just didn't occur to me to question why I took on that form. Perhaps if I had done so, I may have spared myself a lot of pain, but there's no instruction manual on how to cope with waking up in a strange body and everything you know to be your life being a work of fiction.

Well, that's the point of writing out our talks, isn't it? We're not really qualified to write, like, a whole scientific book on OSDD or the ✨plural experience✨ but we can definitely have chats about how we specifically feel and how we got to a...semi-stable place. Worst case, our thoughts go to the void. Best case, it might reach someone interested in our stories. Our real stories. Not to, you know, be confused to the ones we spawned from, haha. So if anyone actually is reading this, hi! Glad you dropped by. Let us know if you have any questions about ourselves. I think we got the ask box set up proper with anon and everything.

I think that's all for our discussion tonight. Perhaps, if we want to cover the basic aspects of being a fictive, we should speak next on grief. I briefly touched on mine already, but you have a unique perspective, Sorrel, as you've met and befriended another fictive from your source. Getting right into the angst, are we? Perhaps. But you've proposed we discuss our recovery process on this blog, and coping with grief is a sizeable portion of that process. You're right. Not chuffed about it, but you're right. We can talk about it next. Until then, I look forward seeing what happens with this chat, if anything. Good talk, mate. Good talk.