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goldenandhappy · 2 years

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Man, Twitter sucks.

#Seriously like it's so difficult to have a conversation with a stranger in there! Meanwhile in here i'm making a new friend every day!#There seems to be a bunch of unspoken rules that you are *supposed* to know #like how you're not supposed to like tweets in a convo between 2 strangers???#IT'S A PUBLIC CONVO #WHAT IF THE STRANGERS ARE FUNNY???#The tagging system is really bad #you don't have a cute space for your silly thoughts #you can't edit your posts #the shit you like is visible to everyone #YOU CAN'T EDIT YOUR POSTS #There's a stupid ass character limit #the threads system is stupid #i recieve on my feed tweets that are answers to a comment on somebody's post #but i have to click on them for context???#seriously that app/website SUCKS!!!!#IT'S SO BAD!!!!#HOW IS IT STILL A THING?????#twitter #gigi.rambles

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sergle · 11 months

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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon

#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays #if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone #because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page #but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source #because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it #and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but #on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway #someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those #if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link #to my etsy #I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside #like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth #like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back #or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info #about what the art is and who made it and their links #I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful #and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited #but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue #reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing #as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen!#that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB #A JOB!!!!!!!!!!#sergle.txt #I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark

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no27-autonation-honda · 4 months

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congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.

#kazoo noises #charles leclerc #cl16 #monaco gp 2024 #zoomies posting #sports posting #like man. where to begin. one of your racecar children is back in town for the weekend. he has yet to have a truly good work #weekend it seems in town. now this year. we're feeling ourselves a bit. we're feeling optimistic even. and then ur son becomes talk of town #because he keeps doing fucking bits on twitter about adopting his coworker who is friends with your youngest son. this goes on long enough #for actual reporters to comment on it. no one is willing to blink first so by friday night we've yes-anded ourselves to a grandson #(congratulations mme leclerc)#things go well. and then at qualifying they go DAMN WELL #BETTER THAN EVER REALLY! but man. im superstitious. i dont trust shit until its over and the dust has cleared #(the adoption jokes have continued by the way) and MEANWHILE everyone is eyeing that starting grid. were humming. we're making vague hand #gestures when commenting. we're all thinking. Maybe? (the streets can hear u tho. keep it down)#race starts. lap one CHAOS. so many fucking crashes. i'd faint if i had a child even in karting honestly.#(every parent in this sport deserves a prescription for laudanum)#but he's not in it. hes at the front. and he. well. he just Stays There. Through It All. and the laps tick down. until the race is run. and #there he is. your middlest son. cross the line and into the books. first place. home town. what curse indeed. thats your boy!!!!!!!! THERE!#they play the radio of him winning and the audio is peaked because he screams out so loudly. you can hear the water in the laughter.#later theres gonna be videos and photos taken of him pushing his boss into the harbor and diving right in after the man. those photos are #gonna be fucking studied in photography classes one day. and STILL! everyone involved with that goofy joke about him adopting his coworker #(who. despite all the silliness of the race stayed second place and got a podium) is still carrying the bit like a baton relay. Do you have #him over for family dinner? might as well add a plate i guess! people are joking about your youngest son having two nephews? a dog born #maybe a month ago and a man born about... what twenty three years and about a month ago? fuck it! family dinner #sorry this bit got away from me but as someone who loves my homecity and my mom so much it might actually be like.#a visible growth inside my body if they do an autopsy on me at time of death or like. my love will eat me alive. sometimes the charratives #gets to me #anyway cheers mme leclerc i hope you party so fucking hard this week

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cryptidwithacopiccollection · 10 months

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Because in the light, you are untouchable.

(flickering gif/possible eyestrain below the cut)

#rb #my art #ace attorney #klavier gavin #flashing gif #flashing warning #eyestrain #art stuff #i dunno if this counts but #animated gif #when i say may art program *crunched* the gif #i mean it fucking CRUNCHED it look at that thing. tbh i kinda like the uncanny look it gives it though #i am losing my mind about this stupid fictional rockstar. 'hes a diva who freaks out and loses his shit over his keys going missing.'#'lol he even put his logo on his boot prints! haha thats so funny-'#do you understand that every. single. person involved with state v. gramareye felt watched.#the mishams were fucking *terrified* for almost a decade because of the looming threat of kristoph's retribution. and they were right.#zak was putting road behind him for years #hiding in the shadows so he couldnt be found. but he was found anyways.#klavier was kristoph's *brother*. he knows how cruel he can he up-close and personal. but hes not dumb. no #unlike everyone else he chose a strategy that actually worked: becoming so visible that it would be hard to make him disappear quietly.#of COURSE his shoes are like that. you know exactly whose boot prints they are. he plasters that logo on everything. youll know it's his.#ofcourse he made himself so popular. there would be massive public outcry if he was hurt or went missing.#and when he finally returns to the same city as kristoph after his brother's been arrested for murder thinking hes safe?#his keys disappear. why wouldn't he freak out? he's felt the looming weight of a threat to his life over his head since he fled at 17.#he needs his keys to use his bike. to get into his house. to the break locks on his stuff. stuff in his mind kristoph may now have access t #sure hes a diva #but he is also a scared little brother who is doing his goddamn BEST to avoid the painful retribution he knows kristoph had for him #because in the light? you are untouchable #there are too many eyes to see you go

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?

Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?

Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.

Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.

#original #punk #hopepunk #cripplepunk #i swear to god #reading comprehension website #how dare you say we piss on the poor #jfc 'what you're saying is we should do nothing' - what I'm saying is YOU are doing nothing by enforcing this boundary #you have to give people more credit than this. i believe you want a better world too. and it would be cool if you used your energy to #instead ask 'how do i fight for the people in my community to be clothed and have the time and income to shop ethically?'#or 'how do i support activism that pushes for regulation that could control these companies?'#monitoring how poor people spend money is a supremely Republican thing to do. as is demanding clear moral purity from every scenario.#you want a better world too. you want to demand your peers do better. - fine. good.#but you need to be asking if you have remembered and included everyone's needs when making statements like this.#capitalism is all for forgetting about poor and disabled people and refusing to believe their limits.#shame is a necessary weapon in fighting greed but it IS a weapon. be so careful where you point that shit. enough shame can kill a person #and a lot of us are already defending from it from all sides.#shaming a person who is already at their limit for not doing more is an act of cruelty. think very carefully about what that means please.#i literally don't even know what SHEIN is lol i just know classism when i see it #but I've had friends whose clothes were visibly falling apart with no income and so much so shame so deep in their hearts they were dying #and if they had seen that post it would have made them even sicker and gotten them no closer to the dignity of being properly clothed #shame is a weapon and /you need to be careful!!!!/

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goldkirk · 6 months

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#I am struggling so hard to pinpoint where the lines are in discussions of situations like the franke and hildebrandt behaviors #because like ok #people keep being so outraged and angry and baffled that they viewed the kids as #deliberately willful and disobedient #and then transitioned into believing them to be infected with evil and or influenced or possessed by demons or under satanic influence #and that’s where everyone is like HOW COULD THEY THINK THIS HOW COULD THEY TELL THEM THAT HOW COULD THEY ETC ETC #and that’s where everyone loses me #like yeah. of course it’s wrong. of course it’s damaging and shitty. but like. what in the world is everyone so shocked and upset by #about that concept (not the physical abuse it caused obviously)#how are you shocked. how are you shocked? it’s just the logical conclusion of believing children have disobedient evil wills #like if you assume evil you’re only going to escalate from there. OBVIOUSLY #I don’t understand how it’s different #where do things cross these lines? no one explains that to me #normal life as usual while tons of kids including me spend years or decades believing we’re evil and under stubborn satanic influence #but in one of the rare situations where it rises to public awareness suddenly everyone is shitting bricks over it #I want those kids drowned in love forever and I wish it never happened to them and their situation #was definitely so so so extreme and severe and I am so glad R was so brave and desperate and got them out #but like. how is everyone so shocked #this is standard. this is common. there’s a huge subculture of people doing and believing this shit #like why is it different just because this case is so visible #so like how is it so hard for people to grasp that this is a widespread issue #I don’t understand #of COURSE it’s wrong to do to someone but like #so many parents and adults do so many of the things these two did just less #fewer hours. less intensely. not in a desert. not with handcuffs and shit. etc.#where’s the line legally? where’s the line culturally?#like how am I supposed to grasp that it’s not a problem until it’s at some level that #I know it’s all Bad but I mean in terms of when the populace starts to mass-care

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corpusdiem-seizethedead · 1 year

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*how most of the Manhattan-Brooklyn meetings actually went*

Jack: Spot, I heard you were in prison. Guess I was wrong.

Spot: Cowboy. I heard you sucked. Guess I was right.

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toytulini · 3 months

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i feel like the makeup standards are not necessarily going to get Worse, just. stay the Same. "raised by sephora and ulta" christ alive yall act like this shit is new. as if this hasnt been the standard to blast young girls with makeup ads and shit via magazine and tv and imposed beauty standards anyway. the only real difference is like, idk, accessibility of tutorials for how to apply it well

#toy txt post #spoken as. a no makeup bitch #altho i have also been accused by a terf of wearing a pound if makeup for wearing. visible lipstick in a selfie. and that was It #the actual Beauty Standard has largely stayed the exact fucking same of like making your skin texture as fake as possible #that was the standard back then too but it was harder to achieve /know how to do it cos there werent tutorials the same way now #also yes sephora and ulta are evil and all that but like the same amount theyve always been.#yall really acting like these imposed beauty standards being exposed to children is like a new unique tiktom thing thats never happened #before. and yall blaming instagram are no fuckin better. this has been happening The Entire God Damn Time #also theres something rubbing me about the way this is getting talked about. 'she did all thos other arbitrary bullshit except this #One Thing! the discrimination against this one thing is awful!#and like. it is. but i feel like we could address that while also maybe stepping back a tiny bit further and questioning these arbitrary #standards of professionalism too while we're at it #why does she have to have a blazer either? why do the earrings have to be understated #why do the colors have ti be bland and boring? why does he hair have to be a natural color and gender conforming ?#etc etc etc #like if we're accepting all that other shit the ppl upset about this could acknowledge she might experience similar discrimination for say #very obvious goth or punk-y makeup or anything a little too far outside the bounds of the acceptable beauty standard #everyone is pissed about 'eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man' but theyd be saying nothing if she was discriminated for fuckin #big wings and black lipstick bc well thats Obviously not professional standard makeup. okay?#if we change how we look at professional standards of dress and makeup as a whole to include Fucking Freak Bitches #then it would be a lot easier to include No Makeup in there as welllllll #idk #im a no makeup bitch with blue hair whos only ever worked in warehouses so they didnt give too much of a shit about my lack of makeup #or blue hair as long as i didnt show up in like flip flops which is a Reasonable dress code bc its got an actual fucking reason #(safety so you dont lose your goddamn toes to a box or a grate or some shit) vs it makes the office corpo bros sad #anyway idk if you have the privilege to get away with it i think you should dress weirder in the office to get them used to weirder dress #maybe instead of Suddenly going No Makeup sort of slowly lessen the amount so its not a Sudden change or smth #again: if you have the privilege and job security to get away with it #also also also: easier to get away with if you were to say. mask. js. they cant get mad at schrodingers lack of lipstick

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camgoloud · 9 months

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i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up

#sometimes i think about the fact that i’m literally the only person who’s cleaned the kitchen in this place for the entire year and a half #i’ve lived here and i get. a little pissed off #i’ve tried being polite and bringing up the problem without explicitly pointing fingers by leaving cleaning products (which i bought)#out on the counters and sending a text in the group chat like ‘hey! 😊 i got these wipes for us! i think that all of us could #use these a little more often so that the kitchen doesn’t get so gross!’ but it seems that everyone either has no sense of shame or just #genuinely doesn’t mind living in filth for the periods between the marathon cleaning sessions i do every few weekends when i have the time #one of the guys who lives downstairs will just walk right by me cleaning up on his way to the fridge and pretend he can’t see me #which is still better than the other one (the one who just burned shit in my skillet) who once saw me cleaning and asked if he could help #and when i got all pleased and asked if he could maybe take the trash out for me while i was cleaning counters (a small and simple task!#when he’d literally asked me if there was anything he could do!) he visibly deflated. said ‘well i’m not really around here much [so it’s #not my trash in there etc.]’ and wandered off. without doing anything #like. HELLO???? you could have just been like the other guy and pretended you didn’t see me doing all the work if this was how you were #going to be about it #but i guess he wanted to feel good about himself having offered/expected me to just say ‘oh no thanks i love being your housekeeper 😊’#tbh i really need to be more assertive and be like ‘hey guys i’m sick of this’ and maybe. bring up the Sexism of it all. because.#you know. the whole situation feels pretty gendered #was complaining about all this to an irl friend the other day and she said i should start a chore chart but i don’t want to be responsible #for maintaining the chore chart either! take on the mental load of managing the housework and also turning into Resident Bitch for asking #men to do things for me. you know. there is simply no way out here #there is another woman who lives here as well but unfortunately i don’t think she’ll be much help in forcing the issue because. she doesn’t #clean shit either!#actually in the days since she moved in the shower drain in our bathroom has become horrendously clogged which. well. i mean not to point #fingers but one of us has got about two inches of hair and the other has got a foot and a half. so #i also simply feel that if you clog a drain you should be the one to unclog it but i’ll probably do that as well #sorry for the massive tag rant by the way i really shouldn’t make myself out to be some kind of martyr because i’m not particularly neat #myself but…. ooooh god if the bar isn’t all the way down in hell #anyway i just did a whole bunch of dishes but i left that one skillet to soak passive-aggressively overnight #i don’t think the aggression will come across though because i think he genuinely won’t even pay attention to the fact that it’s still #dirty and i’ll end up being the one to clean it tomorrow #caseyposting

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lollytea · 2 years

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Private likes, private following count, private follower count. This IS honest to God a fantastic website

#visible follower counts are a monument to mans arrogance #you dont know SHIT about anyone on tumbur dot com. which blogs are big which ones arent #everyone is just some random freak screaming in the streets #like god intended

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robertsbarbie · 8 months

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hindsight really does give you such a perspective because me last year compared to me currently this year is so wilde like i really was so anxious and depressed i straight up could not function and it took over a year to pull myself out of it

#i do think it was me having ******** ideation and small sh for me to realize #‘shit i am a really bad place’#and this school year has been better #my grades are better i feel better i visibly look and act better #but wow that was rough and didn’t even realize how bad until i was coming through it and out of the worst of it #eris: text #and i think part of why it was so hard to see is because i kept telling myself ‘i know what depression and anxiety feel like #i want to be alive i love my life im just not happy and have a stomach ache from thinking everyone in my life hates me so i might as well #not leave my bed but i’m much better now!’ no babe you weren’t 🫶

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katyspersonal · 1 year

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Was very epic style of me to utilize my weakness (absolutely horrendous visual memory) into my power (creating many references that help not only me but even other people)

Was ALSO very epic style of me to utilize my OTHER weakness (that very particular attention to details and patterns no sane person would notice that makes me seem 'creepy') into my OTHER power (knowing video game lore so well that people can ask me for theories and ideas and being a detective about Bad Guys)

Honestly, I often feel like there is no inherently bad or weak trait.. Usually you just haven't found how to USE it in the right way. Strongly reminds me of the whole Lilo and Stitch lesson where she'd seek every alien that could only cause problems at the first glance and figured a way to put their ability into a good use for both themselves and the community

#lilo and stitch movies and series is metaphor for fixing ableist society and lilo is hella autistic tho #I mean the message is really good and honestly everyone can figure it out but if you were a neurodivergent kid/teen it hit MUCH harder #some things are just ONLY visible for certain character class in this game of life xd #but the duty of good writers is to tell shit in such a way that other people can find something for themselves TOO #personal #also I am not really sure what that 'creepyness' I referred to is properly called #it is probably just tied to my paranoia #it can be used for evil (suspecting and accusing people in things they dont do) or for good (figuring out conspiracy that is ACTUALLY there #....or vidia gaem lore. xd #I just been thinking and like.. I doubt I am bad for such mindset #it is just like my 'superpower'. it has both advantages and drawbacks #absurd how strongly neurodivergence stuff can be metaphorically tied to superheroic/magical themes

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milkweedman · 1 year

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ah, the ever-more-frequent Urge To Explode My Brain from unending migraines. a migraine that just lasts the day already sucks so bad. whole day is gone in a blur of pain and misery, right ? a migraine that lasts multiple days is sort of like if hell was real and you were in it. time has no meaning, only pain, etc.

months of migraines... with no break or end or effective treatment and also you still have to work and behave like a normal person because you cannot lie in bed for months not paying rent. well id describe it you but ive fucking lost the plot. its gone on so long and its so bad that when the migraine ISN'T at its peaking on the pain scale and making me feel like if i was hit by a truck that would be an improvement, i start to feel like my head is a vestigial organ that has been removed. cant access sensation in my head and it feels literally disconnected from my body. meanwhile the pain is still there (along with the brain fog, vertigo, nausea, etc) but it feels like its happening to somebody else.

#im kind of impressed that i can at this point carry a normal conversation (as good as i ever can. which is bad but irrelevant)#while being in agony and having been in agony for as long as i can remember #usually also with something dislocated just for some extra fun #because what i actually feel like doing 100% of the time is lighting myself on fire and/or screaming forever until i die #however thats the kind of shit that puts you in the psych ward again #so i am. smiling and making small talk while migraine auras wash out my vision and i try not to visibly dry heave #its really really really fucking bad. all the time so fucking bad.#i need to message my neurologist but likelihood of me doing that is low #because 1) the stuff she's put me on has so far done nothing but add intolerable side effects to the hell that i am already existing in #and 2) its fucking hard to do anything. even the bare minimum im not doing. so extra shit is just. not happening #i want to scream.#i am gonna. go for a walk and smoke a cigarette instead and then get really high because at least then i dont really care #the auras are making it really hard to see though. theyre like bleach all over my vision. just this wash of white #hhh.#chronic illness #chronic migraine #and its like. when my knee also gives out and it feels like theres metal in there slicing everything up with each tiny movement #or any of the other one million goddamn things broken in my body #i end up so overwhelmed by pain that i just want to lay on the floor and cry #at which point everyone around me gets mad that im not being productive and im costing them money and im not good enough #like ok kill me then. cheaper for you happier for me. just get a heavy object and go to town i would thank you for it #but i cant even say that because openly expressing suicidality just makes people angrier #im rapidly running out of fucks to give but also i will do anything to avoid returning to the psych ward #literally anything. morals out the window. i dont give a shit.#so its a catch-22.#vent

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tears-of-boredom · 1 year

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day 3: unnecessarily complex fit

ii gotta be honest, they were originally gonna have two feet but then i couldn't figure out the perspective of their right one so i decided to just not draw it

#im aware that its the 13th but i wanted to draw this prompt.. and im like real happy with how this turned out..#could not make myself do shadows because what the fuck are light sources even..#and and i made a silly brush specifically just to use for the texture in this because i thought it would be funny..#yeah and um dont ask the logic behind the color scheme.. i honestly dont think about that shit ever #i just pick colors and go with the flow. you will NOT catch me practicing color theory..#and um yeah..#oh once again i made the smallest things too detailed. so they stand out much more than they're supposed to..#the nose piercing i was able to dial back. but the choker just is like that. and it stands out way too much..#also really appriciate that the shorts look alright because i had no fucking clue what was going on there..#i put off figuring them out for so long that they only made sense once i put the texture on them. which was like one of the last things..#art #my art #cringetober 2023 #um #digital art #oh and the background was a total accident.. i had filled the characters surroundings with white to make sure none of my notes and shit wer #visible. and id forgotten about it.. so then when i changed the background color. it basically looked like that already.#i just tweaked it a bit..#tbh im quite glad it happened so because ii struggle with balancing the background between too distracting and a void..#the colors are so fucked for everyone else probably because ive fucked with my monitors gamma levels a lot #basically overall saturation is supposed to be higher. and mainly the dark green is supposed to be a bit more blue-ish..

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toomuchdickfort · 10 months

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Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves

#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw I’m no #gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit I’m just. nervous u see. and I’m sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god.#and she pulls out the fucking. ‘can’t you just be a person?’ mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM #AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god.#vent #it’s not a huge vent like if it comes up I’m not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned.#but like. ‘can’t you just be a person’ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much #of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my #life. like being trans doesn’t make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I don’t have the patience to be nice about getting into #things and I don’t have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I don’t have the patience to hold her hand #through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that #immense. it’s hard and it hurts and it burns and it’s like. giving up to begin with didn’t hurt too bad- it’s cutting off the festering #wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and #wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. I’m not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? it’s. a lot #like I get and I appreciate that she’s trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but #cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said #she would try. and I don’t have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. I’m just letting it sit there because frankly #it’ll be such a huge thing because it’s Always a huge thing when I don’t let the subject drop mega fast and I’m. I know she’s not gonna cut #me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when I’m able to stand on my own two feet holy shit #and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient

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smokedbeans · 2 years

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Potentially the last day ever of peace (talking to parents this weekend)

#surely there’s no way that hearing ‘I am uncomfortable with the way you were visibly defending Nazis and violenc #violently pushing back trans protestors’#and be mad at US #like surely they are gunna be like yeah that was shit of me #at the VERY LEAST #the best case scenario is dad quits being a cop #worst case is we cut each other out of our lives #most likely scenario everyone is angry and crying but nothing gets resolved #anyway #nazi ment #bean.txt

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