#and this school year has been better | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

robertsbarbie · 1 year ago

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hindsight really does give you such a perspective because me last year compared to me currently this year is so wilde like i really was so anxious and depressed i straight up could not function and it took over a year to pull myself out of it

#i do think it was me having ******** ideation and small sh for me to realize #‘shit i am a really bad place’#and this school year has been better #my grades are better i feel better i visibly look and act better #but wow that was rough and didn’t even realize how bad until i was coming through it and out of the worst of it #eris: text #and i think part of why it was so hard to see is because i kept telling myself ‘i know what depression and anxiety feel like #i want to be alive i love my life im just not happy and have a stomach ache from thinking everyone in my life hates me so i might as well #not leave my bed but i’m much better now!’ no babe you weren’t 🫶

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lotus-pear · 1 year ago

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i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd #anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve #both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year #newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work #he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba #so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit #kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it #when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai #he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg #when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration #they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back #dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed #ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again #this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #lotus draws #bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain

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lesbianwithchainsaws · 7 months ago

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Society if the community writers had given Jeff and Annie literally any other character dynamic and didn't try to make them a couple

#listen i think jeff and annoe could’ve had such a great dynamic if they were more older/younger siblingesque and not lovers #like annie is young and fresh out of high school. she has to take care of herself completely because her family kicked her out #and jeff has at that point been a lawyer for years and has a lot of experience with life and shitty people #it would've worked so so much better if jeff was more someone who tried to help annie (probably begrudgingly at first)#and help her navigate life #and would try to give her advice. and sometimes the advice would be bad. but like at the end of the day they'd still care for each other #and there would be absolutely zero romance. none #because like in fics i really like reading them having more of that kind of dynamic #i think it works so much better for them #nbc community #annie edison #jeff winger

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yuwuta · 6 months ago

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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date

#anonymous #he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL #i have soooooo much to say about him #he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme #but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since #he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school #and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant #because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official #everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly #he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun #what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes #and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past #idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent #at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too #and so lawyer toji is born #does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely #but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real #but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband #but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give #away his hopeless devotion from a mile away #the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble #satoru x reader #him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder #and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office #and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs

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whollyjoly · 9 months ago

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i just have a feeling / you're better off than you think you are

(song insp.)

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literaryvein-reblogs · 1 month ago

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Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?

no

#anonymous #ai has nothing on an over-caffeinated human being copy pasting & taking screenshots past 3 in the morning & queuing everything #no but on a serious note most of these is the product of years of compilations stuck in my drafts & old files as a student #been going through my old bookmarks as well (bc need more space) so there may be random study notes or tips sometimes #thats also why i have a lot of grammar related stuff that i used at school --- still handy notes though #as for the requests i usually do them in one sitting & queue them -- not claiming to be an expert on those topics #i just try to look for the best sources i can -- which is fun bc i learn a lot as well &#i always appreciate when people send me more info or corrections #this genuinely made me a bit self conscious of my posts tho like do they look AI generated #just shoved a lot of queued posts back to my drafts lol will try to edit them better soon i know its a mess here !#also acccidentally clicking the 'shuffle' queue messed up the chronology at one point -- so been trying to schedule posts #instead of adding to queue ---- but will reorganise when i find more time #but yeah most of these are my literal notes -- excerpts / literally copy pasted from my references that may be quite outdated #that i need to delete but still wanted to save elsewhere

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ri4naaa · 19 days ago

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so. got into killer chat.

#safe to say i liked the game!#its actually really fun though go check it out #if the devs magically find this umm....higuys...#killer chat #killer chat ronin #killer chat vn #ronin beaufort #you have changed me #for better or for worse #(probably worse)#his immense loser energy has captivated me #hes so serial killer by lana del rey coded #(the song's been on repeat and all i ever think of is him)#the effects of unsupervised internet access since 4 years old #i was cooked later in the morning btw. school was ROUGH.#anything for him though! 💗

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proteusolm · 20 days ago

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I never realized just how isolating being out of work because of disability is as a young adult. I don't want to be around other adults because they'll ask me about work and I'll have to be a huge fucking bummer by ashamedly explaining that I currently feel too awful all the time to function. It's sad and humiliating and makes me scared that everyone just thinks I'm lazy and a failure. Especially because the issues I'm dealing with now aren't visible ones.

#It wasn't quite this bad when I was younger and would miss school due to disability. People didn't ask.#This year has been my first major health decline in adulthood #I'm laying in bed completely exhausted listening to guests downstairs laugh and socialize and play games #And I'm sad that I'm too tired and unwilling to have the work talk while I already feel bad to play board games with them #Put me down like a dog tbh #My latest bloodwork better show something fixable. Please god.

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la-galaxie-langblr · 2 months ago

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I was feeling some Despair and imposter syndrome about my french level so to prove to myself that I wasn't as good as I thought I was I looked up some B2 past papers

........those exams are so doable. The texts are the same level if not a tad easier than what I read for class every week. The audio for the listening is fast but clear. I think I'd struggle a bit on the production parts of the exams because my grammar and formal vocab need work and I've written v few structured texts, but it's not impossible??? If I had the money to spend on an exam I don't need I'd feel semi confident about walking into an exam without too much direct prep and passing??? Maybe my tutors are right that we'll be B2 by the end of second year and my imposter syndrome is wrong?? Who would have thought????

#this has actually made me feel so much better lol #shockingly 8+ years of learning french at school and uni haven't been a waste #ok time to actually study cus i'm not going to reach b2 by just scrolling on tumblr #langblr #ellis exclaims

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deoidesign · 8 months ago

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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a-cha0tic-intr0v3rt · 3 months ago

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GUYS I HAVE A THEORY

ok nvm so i saw this new twst character (base off of jack skellington from nightmare before christmas) and a few people have compared him to gojo from jjk so-

also ngl the new twst character is kinda hot 😳

apologies for the lack of activity— school has bren kicking my ass lately— i hate school so much yall

luckily i do have a week off in october so—

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itspileofgoodthings · 4 months ago

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School is going so great and also I am so exhausted and also I am having an existential crisis

#teaching tag #the kids are great and I think I’m doing a good job teaching them and also I miss the ones from last year so much 😭😭😭😭😭#even though I know I will miss these too once they’re gone like why does 😭😭😭 it gotta be 😭😭😭😭 this way #it’s just a totally different vibe every time #the school year has a new flavor!!! and I hate that!!!!!#change is so bad and disgusting 😭😭😭#but also I think it’s good and I’m doing a good job keeping them moving #one of the revelations/realizations that I’ve had. is that I’m just starting to shift my focus #from …. wanting them to be moved to just wanting them to be engaged?#and I think it’s better.#I’m not quite wholly there. but I mean learning how to actually construct a class so that they are busy and their minds are being stretched #and employed and learning on multiple levels without just saying what I want to happen at them #and it’s a good shift but also a shift that’s making me sad #for whatever reason #it feels like another sign of maturity #but sometimes I miss my own highs #mostly I’m just so unbelievably tired lol.#like the physical and mental stamina required that I just don’t have yet #is so much.#but some strong starts have been made #and also (dare I say this lol) the effects of my reputation being established are also working in my favor #they’re a little bit scared. they’re a little bit more ready to engage and they’re more on board than they used to be #like. it’s happening faster. in terms of getting the class under control #and that’s nice. cause I remember it used to take weeks and weeks. months really.#and of course it’s ongoing and unpredictable.#but it’s better this time #anyway just rambling

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spaghett-onaplate · 7 months ago

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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dailytraingirl · 29 days ago

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btw i made a post sometime here about being in a restaurant or something and hearing teenage dream and thinking of larry stylinson because of that one video of them singing it

anyway like two days ago i went BACK to that restaurant and they played just the way you are AND viva la vida

it actually made me feel like i was going insane

#ask me anything #one direction #1 direction #1d #liam payne #MY HEART HAS BEEN ACTUALLY RIPPED OUT #rest in peace liam #zayn malik #niall horan #harry styles #louis tomlinson #larry stylinson #also ive begun to read the most popular larry fics #so far i have read walk that mile and young and beautiful #and like inbetween nights where i can read them i have to go to school and stuff #but now i feel like im in a constant state of death #idk how this happens 😭 these make me feel insane and rip me apart #anyway i loved walk that mile and i loved y&b #i just wish they were longer 😔#just the way you are #teenage dream #viva la vida #coldplay #katy perry #bruno mars #i would actually sell my life or my right arm to go back and be able to experience being a 1d fan during like 2010-2013 #i would give anything #i want to see it happen in real time instead of watching videos knowing it all happened one million years ago practically a different plane #then again its given me this weird sense of time #like if i didnt know better i could almost trick myself into thinking that thats them now

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cozylittleartblog · 1 year ago

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"woah i can't believe you've read blue sky!"

hoho. my dear followers. i have done more than read it. do you have any idea what you are dealing with.

#portal #blue sky #not art #there are two fanfic authors works i would want printed. waffles is one and i did it.#these are levels of tism you cannot even BEGIN to fathom. this book was my Personality in high school.#i mean so was portal in general but 9 years later and I've still not read a better fanfic #i've read some banger fics but blue sky remains its own level #this thing is like two inches thick. it has art in it. its beautiful. i could kill someone with it though. phonebook #alarmingly some people don't even know i like portal which is really funny #because my youtube has a bunch of crappy portal fan animations and my sona's orange hoodie is an Aperture hoodie #but i never draw myself from behind. so. actually can't blame you dhjbfjhdsfghj #my most popular video has over a million views because i edited glados into a cafeteria as a school project #i was Not Normal about portal or blue sky. not even remotely #i LOVE portal its my FAVORITE videogame #IF YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME SINCE MY CRAPPY PORTAL FANART DAYS YOU ARE A REAL ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!

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willsolace-loml · 21 days ago

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got told to join lacrosse... why am i actually considering it

#like idk how to feel #cuz its kinda apealing but idk #cuz like wut if im dog shit at lacrosse #and im scared of joining the school team #i want to do hockey but theres nothing in my area cuz i live in the south #and my friend thinks i should join wrestling but like then id have to join the womens team and i cant do that #like id love to do wrestling but i am NOT being on the womens team #and like my school has 1 lacrosse team for both men and women #but its mainly dudes and dudes that have bullied me in the pasf #and like we're chill now but like...#idk #and like ive nvr been on a school team and like its smth i want to do but like im scared cuz like wut if im absolute shit #and like most of these people have been doing lacrosse since middle school and ive nvr even been to a game #but like ive been thinking abt doing lacrosse for a couple years ive js been out of shape cuz of body issues #but like i wanna get better abt that this year and if i keep that up into next year then maybe ill join the team #if i actually practice lacrosse #but like i dont have a stick #and i dont wanna waste my parents money if i dont actually play #cuz like wut if i get my mas hopes up and then dont do anything and ive js waisted her moneu??????#i mean im def not going out for the team this spring #and like ive got over a year till next years season #so like ive got time #but idk

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