#and this school year has been better
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hindsight really does give you such a perspective because me last year compared to me currently this year is so wilde like i really was so anxious and depressed i straight up could not function and it took over a year to pull myself out of it
#i do think it was me having ******** ideation and small sh for me to realize#‘shit i am a really bad place’#and this school year has been better#my grades are better i feel better i visibly look and act better#but wow that was rough and didn’t even realize how bad until i was coming through it and out of the worst of it#eris: text#and i think part of why it was so hard to see is because i kept telling myself ‘i know what depression and anxiety feel like#i want to be alive i love my life im just not happy and have a stomach ache from thinking everyone in my life hates me so i might as well#not leave my bed but i’m much better now!’ no babe you weren’t 🫶
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two trucks
#here have them#devilman#ryokira#asuka ryo#fudo akira#skrunkart#yes my art style changed with like all of these consider it a feature not a bug (<- has been at war w/ their own art style for years and#is atp doing Whatever just to see if something better comes along)#it's occurring to me that whenever i do a ship sketch spread i have to include them annoying each other. hm#it's funny to me though. little shits 4ever#nyarla dni#(<- i probably already accidentally spoiled the ryo satan thing a while ago but in case i uh didn't)#also idk how common a hc this is but to me ryo so naturally exudes like. catholi school turned gay hallucinogen abusing amateur philosopher#like he's largely past the catholic guilt and is kind of thriving in the direct rebellion. to me in my head#it's also just really funny#anyway#once again enamored with the noses of the manga and at terrible bloody war with the hair. what the FUCK mr nagai#and also as mentioned the battle between ryo's pretty pretty ova design and him looking like a blond skunk in the manga#byeh#very very happy to be able to do digital art again also funny that devilman's what i went to since doing that traditionally was like#more or less the first burst of I NEED TO DRAW THEM i had since the pen died in the first place. it's like they were queued up all this tim
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Society if the community writers had given Jeff and Annie literally any other character dynamic and didn't try to make them a couple

#listen i think jeff and annoe could’ve had such a great dynamic if they were more older/younger siblingesque and not lovers#like annie is young and fresh out of high school. she has to take care of herself completely because her family kicked her out#and jeff has at that point been a lawyer for years and has a lot of experience with life and shitty people#it would've worked so so much better if jeff was more someone who tried to help annie (probably begrudgingly at first)#and help her navigate life#and would try to give her advice. and sometimes the advice would be bad. but like at the end of the day they'd still care for each other#and there would be absolutely zero romance. none#because like in fics i really like reading them having more of that kind of dynamic#i think it works so much better for them#nbc community#annie edison#jeff winger
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i just have a feeling / you're better off than you think you are
(song insp.)
#maybe im just obsessed with the idea that buck has thought to himself for so long that maybe he doesnt get to be happy#and now what if he does? what happens then?#fuck i am so obsessed with these two actually#buck deserves something soft!! and tender!!#THEM#and the way tommy looks at him just kills me actually#them#bonus lyrics include: “i think there's a reason / you could even get this far”#“what if the voice in your head is ten years old? / and you've been trying to prove yourself right since middle school?”#“what then? / what then?”#anyways the buck coding KILLS ME#bucktommy#kinkley#tevan#tuck#otp: better ways to get your attention#tommy kinard#evan buckley#911 on abc#911 abc#911 spoilers#em's edits#special shoutout to the clown car my beloveds#mine
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award for most neurotic 13 year old goes to...!!!!
(LOW-EFFORT FUNNIES UNDER CUT)
#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama ritsu#ritsu kageyama#Okay. fandom tags out of the way now I get to be annoying#so. um. several things first i havent properly drawn anything digitally since August?#and this is also my first time in several years to do something on a computer. and not my phone#I have yet to invest in any sort of shitty tablet so this is a bit stiffer than i would like but its fine!#I've been for lack of a better word '2018-maxxing' because i managed to get back into mob at the same im back on bandori.#its great. probably#But yeah i dont know how mp100 re-entered my brain it just happens like that sometimes.#This has all reminded me awfully of how formative ritsu was for middle school me .#funny thing i remembered is spending several history classes drawing ritshou. fun times#also caption is completely a lie the average hobbyani protagonist is significantly worse than ritsu but shhhhhh#also how the hell do people come up with backgrounds. i just put colors there because i think theyre cool. if it works it works.#someday I'm going to make myself learn actual composition techniques and anatomy and literally every other art basic
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Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?
no
#anonymous#ai has nothing on an over-caffeinated human being copy pasting & taking screenshots past 3 in the morning & queuing everything#no but on a serious note most of these is the product of years of compilations stuck in my drafts & old files as a student#been going through my old bookmarks as well (bc need more space) so there may be random study notes or tips sometimes#thats also why i have a lot of grammar related stuff that i used at school --- still handy notes though#as for the requests i usually do them in one sitting & queue them -- not claiming to be an expert on those topics#i just try to look for the best sources i can -- which is fun bc i learn a lot as well &#i always appreciate when people send me more info or corrections#this genuinely made me a bit self conscious of my posts tho like do they look AI generated#just shoved a lot of queued posts back to my drafts lol will try to edit them better soon i know its a mess here !#also acccidentally clicking the 'shuffle' queue messed up the chronology at one point -- so been trying to schedule posts#instead of adding to queue ---- but will reorganise when i find more time#but yeah most of these are my literal notes -- excerpts / literally copy pasted from my references that may be quite outdated#that i need to delete but still wanted to save elsewhere
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so. got into killer chat.
#safe to say i liked the game!#its actually really fun though go check it out#if the devs magically find this umm....higuys...#killer chat#killer chat ronin#killer chat vn#ronin beaufort#you have changed me#for better or for worse#(probably worse)#his immense loser energy has captivated me#hes so serial killer by lana del rey coded#(the song's been on repeat and all i ever think of is him)#the effects of unsupervised internet access since 4 years old#i was cooked later in the morning btw. school was ROUGH.#anything for him though! 💗
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today is william daniels 98th birthday so im taking this opportunity to say we were so fucking robbed. we were so robbed with the "haha kitt is a computer he cant sing" shit because the man's got a DAMN good voice. you gave michael a musical episode. let the car sing.
youtube
#liz blogs#knight rider#kr#kitt#knight industries two thousand#william daniels#98. is insane#ive been sitting on this since august sorry#kitt sing your boyfriend some oldies your voice is perfect for it#slamming my fucking fists on the table like i did when audrey sent this to me. this needs to be in my oldies playlist#william has a better voice than david sorry. no im not biased#not to say david has a Bad voice. just that william's is better#knight song could have been a banger episode if they took advantage of this#or even let it be me. even if michael just made fun of him for sounding a little too old school. y'all had this and its such a missed#opportunity. weeps for ten thousand years#give me a time machine i can fix season four i can fix it universal you can trust me let me into the writers room#Youtube
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Guys if I disappear in like... May, this fucking thing will be why
That monstrosity is a list of all the tests I have to pass to get the baccalaureate, and I need that to ... basically to get pretty much any job I'd like to do
I had to create that thing myself, using multiple government website pages about the bac(calaureat, we're lazy) because comprehensible information is apparently not a thing
close-ups/explanations under the cut
blue= explanation of an abbreviation
green= explanation of an abbreviation but it's a list that you don't need to read to understand this
italics= word(s) in french
note: i haven't reread this super carefully, so if I say oral on its own, i do mean oral exam, in french we just say un oral so my brain may forget the word exam lol
BFI: Baccalauréat Français International, basically I have 8 hours of English a week instead of the normal 3 (although with LLCE and/or AMC you get 9 or 15 hours but i'll get to that in a minute) and I have a bilingual level of English [technically I already had that but most of my friends didn't]
Coef(ficient) [x]: ...ok so i have no idea how this works really but it's basically how much is this grade worth. If you get 19/20 coefficient 1 then you got 19/20. If you get it coef 2, I think that means you got 38/40 etc. So coef 20 is huge.
DBQ: Document Based Question
Durée: length of time, how long does this test take
ACL: Anglais C? Litérature, literature basically (shakespeare and gothic make sense, O'Brien is the name of my teacher and hopefully it's a common enough name that it doesn't matter that I just realized his name's still on here oops; he's my poetry and drama?? teacher but since we don't really know what to call his class, we just call it by his name. He teaches about poetry yes but also we're also studying Beckett's Happy Days which is a play, not poetry)
CDM: Connaissances du "Monde", lit. Knowledge of the (British) World, we have to do some research projects which we will present in an oral at the end of the year
There's about 50 kids in my school who will have to do all that this year, about 50 who will have to do that next year, etc.
There's about 1500 students in my school, there's 3 years so only about 500 students passing the bac at my school this year, and only 10% of us have to do this many exams.
The international section doesn't really exist in other schools however, so there's a really small percentage of french kids total who have to do all this.
All that stuff is admittedly my "fault" for choosing to do the international section.
Everything else is mandatory(-ish)
Tronc commun: Everyone has to do this
(notice how the coefficients are at like 8, not frickin 20)
Philosophy: we have to either write for 4 hours about a single sentence they'll give us as a subject (and it can be about practically anything) (that's a "dissertation", or 'dissert' because we have really long names for stuff but then we don't bother saying the full name) OR write a "explanation of the text" which i have no idea how that works bc my teacher's a bit incompetent
N/A: Not applicable, that's for the time the exam takes, we get tested in class so there's not really a set time for stuff
(I know that's ridiculously small sorry)
Ok so now we're getting to the fun little french thing that no one who's not french ever seems to know
In 11th grade (1ère) we have to choose 3 areas to specialize in out of the following (can vary slightly based on schools):
HGGSP: Histoire-géographie, géopolitique et sciences politiques, aka political science and social studies
HLP: Humanités, littérature et philosophie, aka humanities, literature and philosophy (oo it's almost the same words in both languages)
LLCE: Langues, littératures et cultures étrangères, aka English (lit. languages, literatures and foreign cultures but it's really just English class)
AMC: Anglais monde contemporain, aka English again (lit. English contemporary world and again it's just English class)
Mathématiques - transparent
Physique-chimie: Physics and chemistry. No those aren't the same, but yes I only figured that out bc someone explained that to me, bc those two are always taught in the same classroom and with the same teacher for some reason
SVT: Sciences de la vie et de la Terre, aka "Sciences of life and the earth" (you know, bc that's specific), aka Biology + Geology
SES: Sciences économiques et sociales, aka economics and social sciences
NSI: Numériques et sciences informatiques, aka computer science
Arts (arts plastiques, cinéma-audiovisuel, histoire des arts): The list I found with all the names of these spécialités (bc they're only ever referred to by their acronyms) has art be split up like that [technically there were more but i cut them lol] which is weird bc I've never seen art history be separated from actually-making-art (arts plastiques-- Why are they plastic I have no idea) and I didn't think cinema had art history
In 11th as I said you choose 3, and you have 4 hours of each per week.
In 12th grade (terminale), you drop one of the 3 subjects you chose so that you can concentrate more on the other two, with 6 hours of each per week.
The most common combination is math, physics, biology and then one of them gets dropped.
This is just a zoom on the two I kept, I had computer science as my third spé last year.
This combination is extremely uncommon, I only know 1 other person who did those 3 subjects lol.
SVT (biology/geology): Ecrit: I have to write stuff; I wrote either or but it turns out it's both, anyways I have to do a DBQ (see above) and answer a question based on knowledge. TP aka Travaux pratiques: uhhh idk how to explain this other than actually doing science instead of just talking about it.
Art: Ecrit: Analyse du corpus d'oeuvres: we have to analyze a collection of works of art based on a question we're given, and then we can do either a note d'intention pour un projet d'exposition, lit. a note of intentions for an exhibition project; basically we have to take one (or two) of the works of art we saw in the first part and say how we'd put it in a museum. or we do the analyse de corpus + a commentaire critique, where you have to answer a question, for example on a mock we had a question about whether or not AI counts as art; and we had a text and a new work of art An oral is the same word in both; a lot of subjects don't have orals (svt for example) and basically we have to talk about the project we worked on for the whole year. I think. Pratique: actually getting to work on creating something. I'm doing an animation, my friends are doing a frieze that's themed on marine life, something to do with leaves, a crochet project that's also marine life themed, something space themed?, and a mini forest in a suitcase. Some of our classmates are doing sculptures (there's a sculpture of a female bust with holes in it and handprints all over it), someone is - i think - making a musical instrument from scratch, someone else does a lot of paintings that are humongous with lots of bold colors... This is the best part about art as a subject because you get to choose what you do.
Next up, another thing that all french people know and no one outside of france knows; contrôle continu
That is basically classes where we don't have a big test at the end of the year, which is nice, but we still have tests and at the end of the year the average of all of the tests done in these subjects counts as a percentage of the grade you get for the bac.
Maths comp(lémentaires -- we love shortening words lol) aka complementary math?: you can choose to abandon math as a spécialité but still keep some math classes in 12th. There's also something called maths expertes, lit. expert math, which is the same thing but with harder classes; but given that i only know one person who does that, i completely forgot to include it here lol
Both math classes here are optional, everything else till LV3 is mandatory.
Coef 3 en 1ère, 3 en terminale: the averages of both 12th grade and 11th grade are counted
Histoire-géo(graphy): social studies (lit. history and geography)
Enseignement scientifique: so. this thing. Despite the fact that you can take biology and physics as spé, everyone has to do this "scientific education" where the kids who took biology are bored in biology classes, the kids who took physics are bored in physics classes, the kids who took both waste two hours per week listening to stuff they already know, and the people who took neither physics nor biology are also usually pretty bored because even if there's one or two students who are interested by science but were more tempted by other things, most of them didn't take science as spés because they don't like science.
It's a great system /s.
In fairness, we are doing more or less useful things; in biology we're talking about evolution and we mentioned how - especially in France - antibiotics are being used too much and so are becoming less effective. For the people who don't do science, I suppose that's important to know, for me at least the effect was ruined by the fact that I had done that in spés like a week earlier.
In physics, we've been working on energy consumption and kind of how it works, but there's too much math in physics for me to be super interested lol.
LV2 aka Langue vivante 2, aka "living language 2": As I'm writing this I just realized that I forgot to include the LV1 in this pdf lol.
In 7th grade (or 6th if you're an overambitious nerd like me), you have to choose a "second" language, that you'll keep till at least 12th grade, and then afterwards idk how it works. The first language is English by default, you *can* make english your 2nd language but that's complex and Idk enough about how that works. French is taught from 1rst to 11th but doesn't count as a living language for some reason.
Most schools offer Spanish and another language, my middle school had Spanish + German, a friend of mine does Chinese as a 2nd language and there's probably other options depending on the school. Oddly enough, despite the fact that Belgium is at the closest about 20 minutes away from my house by car and the Netherlands are at the closest 1h30 away, Dutch is not a commonly taught language I think. Spain is at the closest about 10 hours away by car, and yet it's far more taught.
(The reason I forgot the LV1 is that in the international section, we automatically get the highest grade possible, 20/20, bc they're grading us based on British standards so they're basically saying that we speak English)
EMC, Education Morale et Civique: I'm going to be honest and say that I have no idea what this class is for or how to translate it lol, desoite having had this since 6th grade. Literally the words mean civic and moral education and if that sounds like propaganda, well, it sort of is. We've had many classes on how to be a good citizen, and how democracy works I think, but we've also had classes on other completely unrelated stuff.
Most of the grades in EMC are group presentations, and so I could not tell you about a single thing I got graded on lol
Spé abandonnée en 1ère: lit. spé abandoned in 11th. Yes we use the word abandoned for this lol, other than that I think I covered it earlier
LV3: So following the logic from LV1/LV2, I think you can guess what this is. This is a third, optional language you can take, most people don't bother because we already have too many classes.
I however am not most people lol, but I'll be adding my friend as an example here because the language I chose could be confusing given what I said earlier about LV2s. Antony [not their real name] is in the international section so has English as the default LV1, they took German as an LV2 and they took Japanese as their LV3. Based off of this logic, I have the same thing except I have Spanish as my LV3 and not Japanese. (I'm not sure how clear this would be on it's own because as I said most schools offer Spanish as an LV2 and most people choose that as their LV2. Since I did German as my LV2, I only started taking Spanish classes in 10th grade)
My school, being an international school, offers an extremely large range of third language possibilities: As I've mentioned, there's Japanese and Spanish, but also Italian, Chinese, Portugese, Polish, maybe German, possibly Dutch and possibly/probably others but I don't know for sure. (I just checked and they don't actually offer German as a 3rd language, but they do offer Dutch, and that's it. "Only" 7 languages, I kinda thought there were more [i think most schools have like one or two. A quick google search for the other school I could have gone to tells me that that school offers Spanish and Arabic as 3rd languages and that's it])
Oh and there's often Latin or Ancient Greek offered at the same time as the LV3 I think, but as they're dead languages they don't count as langues vivantes lol
And we reach the end, with these two.
Français (1ère): As 12th graders, we've already done this part of the bac, last year. The French exam used to be the same year as all the rest but if you've read this far, I think you see the problem with that lol
The grade counts as a percentage of the total bac
And last and certainly worst; the Grand Oral: Lit. the big oral, we have absolutely no preparations for this at school and need to research stuff on our own, in our "free time", whatever that is /j. (... well actually /hj)
I've had 1 teacher talk to me about this, it was my biology teacher, and so depending on the teachers you have for spés, I wouldn't be surprised if some of my classmates hadn't been told the specifics of this sucker at all.
What we have to do is prepare not 1 but 2 possible questions, either 1 per spécialité or a mix between the two subjects (there may be other possibilities but as I said almost no one has told anything about this so this is based off of my recollections of what my biology teacher said and what i found on two government websites.). The reason you prepare two subjects is so that the examinators can choose which one they want you to talk about. Twice the work, twice the stress, for a 20 minute thing.
You have to present your topic for about 10-15 minutes iirc, and then answer some questions.
In biology, my teacher gave us a few vague topics we could use as starting points for our grand oraux (yes the plural of 'oral' is 'oraux', the french language is weird), and basically it's a whole ass reasearch project that we don't get any dedicated hours to in our schedule, that no one has told us about/reminded us of and we have to do that on top of everything else here.
In case my tone isn't clear, I find this ridiculously stupid. I don't like oral exams in the first place, but usually when we have to do some in subjects such as EMC, they don't give us any other work to do while we research our oral, at least in that subject. Another reason I really dislike this is because of CDM (see the first pic, about the international section exams).
CdM is 2 hours a week where we do some research for our research projects. Again, we have 2 hours every single week, with a teacher present, to do nothing but research (and send emails to potential research partners technically), for an exam at the end of the year. This is an international section thing, so the research is in English.
There was the option of adding 2 hours a week for a very small percentage of people to learn how to research in English, and despite the fact that most people would complain if they had more hours of school, the 2 hours a week of research are genuinely useful. I've gotten a lot done since September, and I'm pretty confident about the oral.
For the grand oral, I need to come up with 2 subjects by the end of vacation (we have a 2 week break starting today because it's France and also my class at least already has terrible mental health, if we had to keep this schedule up every single week till May we'd be reduced to like 5 students per class because everyone would be having breakdowns or burnout [Antony is technically not slowing their schedule down over this break (or really any of the other breaks we had), but they're insane /aff /hj. more on that in the tags lol]) not because the school finally realized they should probably remind us of this, but because my biology teacher's a very competant and organized woman who wants to know our subjects so she can help us. (I've had teachers I've liked more or where I've been more interested in their class, but man do I love her for this, other than 2 of my international teachers, she feels like the only competant adult in this school)
#no tags leave me alone#in better news my aunt got me one of paul castle's pengrooms and it is ADORABLE I LOVE IT#french education system#international baccalaureate#baccalauréat#right so as I promised: Antony#Antony is doing and has been doing a “prépa médecine” which means that they're taking extra classes outside of school - I think only during#vacation but I wouldn't put it past them to work on that during the school period- to prepare them to med school. I already dunno how med#school works here so I can't compare to other systems but it sounds hard as fuck to even just GET IN to med school and- knowing them they'l#do amazingly-but the amount of extra work they have to put in just to be able to try to do the first year of med school is absolutely insan#Anyways they're doing that the first week of vacation and then the second week + the first week after they're in Japan on a school trip#That sounds fun but they'll come back having to deal with jetlag + catching up on an entire week's worth of classes#if you read all this for some reason then say good luck to antony lol#i am NOT rereading all that so if anything's incomprehensible feel free to ask for a clarification but i'll answer later bc it is 2am oops#i am going to bed now lol
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oh my goddd my ex’s boyfriend is upset that my kid is sexist and thinks it’s bc my wife is a man-hating lesbian. no you dumb ass it’s bc the child is GOING TO KINDERGARTEN and LEARNING CULTURAL NORMS. the things she’s saying is “i don’t like playing with the boys because they’re rough” and “i like girly things like pink and purple and sparkles” THATS. that is not anything like what my wife might theoretically be saying in the other room about not trusting men without realizing that our kid is in earshot, that is the shit you pick up around KINDERGARTENERS who are behaving the ways they have been taught to behave by society!! AND we are aware of that and work to combat it every time it comes up we don’t need your fucking concerned advice. i’m going to throttle him
#‘i think she won’t hug me because she’s a misandrist and you’re teaching her to be scared of men’#SHE HAS NEVER BEEN HUGGY!!!#she barely cuddled ME between the ages of 2 and 3#and yes she’s gotten a lot more cuddly w her parents again in the last two years#but YOU! ARE NOT! ONE OF HER PARENTS!!#SHES KNOWN YOU ONE OR TWO YEARS!!!#ofc she won’t hug you you don’t even know her well enough to know that she’s not a fucking hugger#stop acting like you know her better than the people who raised her from infancy#which notably does not even include your partner bc that bitch missed half her toddler hood and has been in and out ever since#one school year of finally committing to a somewhat even custody schedule doesn’t mean yall know BETTER than us#i hate my ex and i hate everyone she associates with#silverstarsvent#silver.chat
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life has gotten better for other people i will get there eventually
#it has been better than it has in years not living with my parents Always bur ot is. still not great#like i dont know i dont want to complain about the specific thing im sad about because its selfish#but Awhatever#at least i have the best partner ever ajd im in school
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I was feeling some Despair and imposter syndrome about my french level so to prove to myself that I wasn't as good as I thought I was I looked up some B2 past papers
........those exams are so doable. The texts are the same level if not a tad easier than what I read for class every week. The audio for the listening is fast but clear. I think I'd struggle a bit on the production parts of the exams because my grammar and formal vocab need work and I've written v few structured texts, but it's not impossible??? If I had the money to spend on an exam I don't need I'd feel semi confident about walking into an exam without too much direct prep and passing??? Maybe my tutors are right that we'll be B2 by the end of second year and my imposter syndrome is wrong?? Who would have thought????
#this has actually made me feel so much better lol#shockingly 8+ years of learning french at school and uni haven't been a waste#ok time to actually study cus i'm not going to reach b2 by just scrolling on tumblr#langblr#ellis exclaims
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Hi ... I've been super quiet, again, but that's because I've once again been working on something special (hope to have that ready sometime in July), and have also finally been coming to terms with everything that happened at the start of the year ... I finally feel like I'm getting to where I need to be, mentally and emotionally.
#I've also been super busy with work since I took on more shifts at my one job‚ and my mom had to leave for a family thing--#--so I ended up covering her shifts for the last week of the school year#the family thing is still stressful‚ and I've been dealing with car problems‚ BUT I do feel a lot better#some stuff happened today that actually made me feel I could self ship here‚ again ... more seriously than I have been‚ anyway#been engaging in some conversations‚ and finding people who went through similar experiences has helped me feel loads better#and ... well ... July is a very special month for me#the 5th is my Project Moon Anniversary#the 7th is Heathcliff's birthday#and the 14th is Heathlock day!#all very important dates#so I do want to be here ... I want to share things#scattered pages
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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GUYS I HAVE A THEORY
ok nvm so i saw this new twst character (base off of jack skellington from nightmare before christmas) and a few people have compared him to gojo from jjk so-
also ngl the new twst character is kinda hot 😳
apologies for the lack of activity— school has bren kicking my ass lately— i hate school so much yall
luckily i do have a week off in october so—
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#idk his name yet but the new twst character is kinda hot-#he also kinda reminds me of l lawliet from death note#cant wait to know more about him tho#gojo satoru#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#shitpost#shitpost status#i havent been active bc school has been KICKING MY ASS#i wish i was more active#i hate school so much#well atleast i have better teachers this year#that new twst character do be lookin kinda fine tho#and he is voiced by yamaguchi kappei omg!!!!!!!#lets fucking gooooo we have nightmare before christmas rep now#i am too unmotivated to post anything so have this for now bye#guys i have a theory
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