#and this school year has been better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

robertsbarbie · 8 months

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hindsight really does give you such a perspective because me last year compared to me currently this year is so wilde like i really was so anxious and depressed i straight up could not function and it took over a year to pull myself out of it

#i do think it was me having ******** ideation and small sh for me to realize #‘shit i am a really bad place’#and this school year has been better #my grades are better i feel better i visibly look and act better #but wow that was rough and didn’t even realize how bad until i was coming through it and out of the worst of it #eris: text #and i think part of why it was so hard to see is because i kept telling myself ‘i know what depression and anxiety feel like #i want to be alive i love my life im just not happy and have a stomach ache from thinking everyone in my life hates me so i might as well #not leave my bed but i’m much better now!’ no babe you weren’t 🫶

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lotus-pear · 11 months

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i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd #anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve #both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year #newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work #he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba #so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit #kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it #when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai #he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg #when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration #they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back #dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed #ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again #this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #lotus draws #bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain

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lesbianwithchainsaws · 3 months

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Society if the community writers had given Jeff and Annie literally any other character dynamic and didn't try to make them a couple

#listen i think jeff and annoe could’ve had such a great dynamic if they were more older/younger siblingesque and not lovers #like annie is young and fresh out of high school. she has to take care of herself completely because her family kicked her out #and jeff has at that point been a lawyer for years and has a lot of experience with life and shitty people #it would've worked so so much better if jeff was more someone who tried to help annie (probably begrudgingly at first)#and help her navigate life #and would try to give her advice. and sometimes the advice would be bad. but like at the end of the day they'd still care for each other #and there would be absolutely zero romance. none #because like in fics i really like reading them having more of that kind of dynamic #i think it works so much better for them #nbc community #annie edison #jeff winger

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yuwuta · 3 months

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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date

#anonymous #he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL #i have soooooo much to say about him #he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme #but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since #he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school #and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant #because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official #everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly #he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun #what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes #and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past #idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent #at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too #and so lawyer toji is born #does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely #but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real #but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband #but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give #away his hopeless devotion from a mile away #the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble #satoru x reader #him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder #and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office #and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs

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whollyjoly · 6 months

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i just have a feeling / you're better off than you think you are

(song insp.)

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deoidesign · 4 months

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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cozylittleartblog · 1 year

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"woah i can't believe you've read blue sky!"

hoho. my dear followers. i have done more than read it. do you have any idea what you are dealing with.

#portal #blue sky #not art #there are two fanfic authors works i would want printed. waffles is one and i did it.#these are levels of tism you cannot even BEGIN to fathom. this book was my Personality in high school.#i mean so was portal in general but 9 years later and I've still not read a better fanfic #i've read some banger fics but blue sky remains its own level #this thing is like two inches thick. it has art in it. its beautiful. i could kill someone with it though. phonebook #alarmingly some people don't even know i like portal which is really funny #because my youtube has a bunch of crappy portal fan animations and my sona's orange hoodie is an Aperture hoodie #but i never draw myself from behind. so. actually can't blame you dhjbfjhdsfghj #my most popular video has over a million views because i edited glados into a cafeteria as a school project #i was Not Normal about portal or blue sky. not even remotely #i LOVE portal its my FAVORITE videogame #IF YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME SINCE MY CRAPPY PORTAL FANART DAYS YOU ARE A REAL ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!

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hajihiko · 2 years

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I've seen a few people talk about how much smoother things would have gone for the cast if they had A Mature Conversation about things, but like. they're teenagers. Not only that, they're all gifted kid teenagers who also have Issues (except Hajime who only has the Issues). How capable do you think they are of going 'alright now boys we need to talk about your misogyny' or somesuch

#I think a part of what COULD be the tragedy of it all is on fact that they're teenagers with even less #-of a standard for what's normal than regular teenagers.#16 year old kids seeing another 16 year old kid who clearly has a history of abuse but they're like #Damn that sucks... Uh... Should I tell a teacher or #Oh right wait killing game island. Welp.#Them as adults post game looking back like god DAMN if I could go back in time and respond better #But yknow no time like the present #The fact that people like heard a single word out of Mikans mouth and did not think to intervene says sth-#-about the school they went to methinks.#Anyway. This has been a Me Talking #Ps not saying teenagers aren't capable of being good people #But being in that situation on top of all their backstory baggage I can't blame them for putting certain things on the backburner #WAIT ALSO ALSO. Have YOU ever tried to talk to a mean teenager. Jesus christ #They do not take reason trying to argue just makes them stronger.

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only-one-brain-cell · 5 months

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PERIOD

#bridgerton #yes every Bridgerton lost their father and Violet lost her husband #but all of them expect for Anthony had been able to morn #while Anthony had to snap into the role of Viscount #imagine at 17 having to choose to save your mother or your unborn sister #man has severe PTSD not only from watching his father die but from that as well #I imagine that he will be extremely overprotective of Kate when she’s pregnant #of course Kate will know why Anthony told her why #also his mommy issues #how Violet had resented him for years #you can see it in s1 how she talks to him #it’s better in s2 but they still never got that closure until Kate’s accident #I love this man so much #every Bridgerton has had it easy (FIGHT ME) because of Anthony and I hate that they don’t see it #yes he’s cold towards his siblings WELL GEE I WONDER WHY #I hate their attitudes towards them EXCEPT for when Anthony paid for Ben to get into school that my dude was fucked up #you could have recommended him without the money and that would have been great

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msnihilist · 7 months

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Sorry, but Phineas and Ferb going to college as adults is soooo fake. 1) What the fuck is college gonna teach them? 2) They're both WAY too restless to study for four years or more for ONE degree. They spent a single afternoon building to the MOON. FOUR YEARS might as well be an ETERNITY. Spending that in SCHOOL?? WASTE OF TIME.

#phineas and ferb #p&f fandom pls stop doing this in fanfics it's so untrue #they both clearly dropped out of high school and immediately got their GEDs anyway #not as impressive as baljeet who got his first degree in middle school—#but y'know phineas and ferb waited until freshman year because of the social opportunities #then they spend their twenties solving world hunger and ending war everywhere and not only saving endangered species but bringing a few BACK #phineas uses a teleporter to visit isabella at her college whenever he wants #and he and ferb have a multi-terrain mobile home they share that has twenty stories and two pools on the inside #I've read so many fics that go the same route 'Act Your Age' went #where real life + adulthood bog down on the boys #and that SUCKS #it's realistic sure. life gets harder when you grow up. but so what??#this show has ALWAYS been about taking the universe in your hands and moulding it to whatever you want #no the boys won't go to college they won't separate or give up on their big ideas or pay taxes #it's THEIR world and everyone is better for having lived in it

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tacosaysroar · 1 year

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The brain isn’t fully mature until age 25. It’s not fair to expect responsible behavior on a regular basis from someone who still has more than a decade of growth ahead . . .

I say to myself through gritted teeth as I prepare to drive BACK to Adelaide’s school for the THIRD time this year because of a forgotten item.

#and there have been two days where I didn’t do it #because they were items I thought she could stand to face consequences on without it being mean #so it’s really been 5 times #that I know about #she just has a lot more going on this year #and we’ve talked about laying hands on all needed items before we leave the house etc #but clearly that’s not always working #she was focused on not forgetting her science project #so she forgot about her jersey for her volleyball game right after school #this will get better

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journen · 2 years

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Paintover of a render I made in Blender. 🤣 An anon submitted a drawing suggestion to me(which I will get to hehe), and around the same time I learned how to download 3D models of these characters and import them into Blender, so I decided to spend the better half of an afternoon trying to figure out how to pose them. I then made a render, and it looked SOOOO MUCH MORE ROMANTIC THAN I WAS GOING FOR HAHAHA BUT I EMBRACED IT. I took the render I made and painted in a bg and tweaked some other elements, etc… and this was the result.

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tijuanabiblestudies · 1 month

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sometimes i think growing up as a girl was a kind of protective shell

#if i had tried to transition in high school i would have been beaten to death in a locker room #and if i'd been a cis boy (as the kind of boy i would have been) it would not have gone well for me either #and i want it to be better now. i want kids to have it so much easier than i had it #and i thought it was! i remember posts from a few years ago about kids considering it normal to have trans classmates #but now APPARENTLY we are fucking backsliding #and i am sad and angry and don't know what to do #except maybe see if the lgbtq+ community center has any volunteer opportunities or anything

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svnflowermoon · 1 month

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embracing my inner art/literature girl and doing art history as a subject next year <3

#luc posts #my subjects for next year look so different now than i thought they would at the start of this year #i thought i'd be doing: calc phys bio design printmaking/or english #i'm doing: bio stats printmaking design and art history #my last year of high school is gonna be so much better than this year #actually looking forward to yr 13 which is a relief bc yr 12 has been absolute hell

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pillowenvelopchair · 2 months

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Absolutely fucking stupid that my schools suicide prevention protocol is to basically to put someone in house arrest until a professional can write and “prove” that theyre okay so that theyre sure that they can let a student back in. Yeah. Sure. Just force someone to be in the house where they are even MORE at danger when there are literal sharp objects makes it easier to do it

#jesus fucking christ sorry im having anxiety palpitations again #its not fair #guidance counselor isnt even fucking. doing shit. not replying or making any fucking meetings with my therapist #just fucking great #its been on my mind recently #i never accepted it because i never realized it #i knew it wad unfair but i never realized that until now #just like one week before school starts #its not fair for them to basically put me in house arrest for a year while my anxiety brews every day while they sit on their fucking asses #and just. not do anything. be slow with arranging everything. isnt that your whole job?#literally fuck you #this was supposed to make me feel ‘better’ ive literally gotten worse #nothing has changed and i have become a worse person than i was before #i wasted a whole year rotting in anxiety AGAIN. its literally just like the pandemic happened again but im stuck watching everyone be free #and yeah! im bitter about the whole fucking thing! i think i deserve it #maybe i shouldnt talk like this. maybe im just overreacting #all i got out of this was heart palpitations and an english essay topic #just needed to type this out to ground myself a little #anyways ill go back to my regular insane posting after this. maybe…#who knows? maybe ill just be gone one day #whatever #im deleting this later #tw suicide #vent

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