#the seven incorrect quotes

[lilislegacy]

leo: you know it’s funny when i see all my friends fight monsters. because as the most powerful demigods alive, everyone gets the job done. but everyone does it so differently

chiron: how so?

leo: well jason is like a robot, or some fighting machine, because with all his training he’s so programmed and concise. frank is basically the bipolar animal version of the hulk. piper is weirdly calm and seductive with her “you think what i tell you to think” voice. annabeth is methodical and sneaky and alarmingly brutal. nico is just creepy as hell. and hazel’s like a freaky witch with all her voodoo magic shit

chiron: all great descriptions. and percy?

leo: oh percy’s just a crazy son of a bitch

chiron, chuckling: and you’re not?

leo: hey i may be ADHD off the walls, and i do make some crazy plans, but that dude should be deemed legally insane. i once saw him jump onto the back of a giant sea monster, stab it with a narwhal’s tusk, and then ride a great white shark around as he lassoed monsters with kelp ropes. and the entire time, he was singing a cage the elephant song

chiron, nodding thoughtfully: “ain’t no rest for the wicked?”

leo: no actually it was “around my head.” guy’s got great taste

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

percy to annabeth, in pjo: i'd die for you

percy to annabeth, in hoo: i'd live for you

[theaceofarrows]

Bruce: Dick, what did you and your brother do when he visited Blüdhaven the other day?

Dick: Nothing much, why?

Bruce: Because I just saw a headline saying, "Wayne sons Dick Grayson arrests Brother Jason Todd when on police duty Friday afternoon to reenact Justin Timberlake arrest whilst dozens of witnesses watch."

Dick: [shrugs] Yeah, we did that. Why?

Bruce: Firstly I don't know what that even means. Secondly, why would you do that?

Jason: It means Dick arrested me and I said, "this is going to ruin the tour."

Dick: And I said, "what tour?" To which Jason replied, "The world tour."

Jason: All while I was wearing a piss poor disguise

Bruce: [tiredly] Why?

Jason: Because it was funny

Bruce: [rubbing his temples] No. No it isn't...

Dick: Well, six billion other people say otherwise~

[apoorhuman]

Mc: I feel like a mother of seven children.

Solomon: but I thought Lucifer is well behaved and the only mature one? Is he not excluded?

Mc: oh no, no no, Lucifer is the only mature one

Solomon: then why did you say seven?

Mc: I never exclusively said "the brothers"

Solomon: .... Are you co-parenting them with Barbatos and Lucifer?

Mc: yes

Solomon: ...

Mc:

Solomon: be patient ok? If you need anything just ask me for help *pats mc shoulder*

Mc: ah... Thank you Solomon I appreciate that

[watchyourbuck]

The 911 s7 e6 promo as ao3 tags

[villianbell]

The seven shitty sins

Mammon : I want shit

Levi : I want your shit

Satan : I'm going to wreck shit

Asmo : I'm into some freaky shit

Beel : this is some tasty shit

Belphie : Im to tied to do shit

Lucifer : i am the shit

[celestial-artisan]

Vox: I-if I say I love you, will you say it back? Alastor: No problem, pal. Vox: I love you..! Alastor: It back! Vox: Alastor:

Velvette: Why is Vox crying face-down on the floor?

[watermelonsloth]

Naruto: Sasuke is my friend! And if I love him, it’s as a brother!

Itachi: Well, Sasuke is my brother and if he looked at me the way you look at him, I’d call the police.

[teamleo1029]

Poseidon: are you kids getting enough sleep? Jason: Percy: Annabeth: Frank: Hazel: Piper: Leo: sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close.

[varpusvaras]

Fox: One time I was really hopped-up on painkillers. I snuck out from the medbay to go to work. I kissed a Senator's wife and to make sure he wasn't mad about it I kissed him too...I blacked out and woke up to a text in a groupchat with both of them that said "did you make it home safe baby? ❤"

Fox: Anyway we're married now

[ace-writer-lani]

Will: No. I can't. It's too much. There's no hope left for me.

Austin: No, Will! Stay with us, please!

Will [sinking down to the floor]: I'm sorry. I can't keep goin' like this. You have to leave me here.

Nico: Solace

Will: Avenge me, Neeks.

Nico: ...

Nico [to Kayla]: ...he knows it's just a draw 2, right? Not the end of the world?

Kayla [about to win]: All he should know is that he's a loser

Nico: ...

Nico [placing down a card]: Draw 4, Kayla

Kayla: You BITCH

Will: HA! [Sits up to kiss Nico on the cheek]

Nico [blushing]: And I change the color to blue

Austin: Simp

Kayla [who only has green]: I fucking hate you all

[astraeajackson]

leo, over the phone: hey, jason, can i borrow like five thousand dollars?

jason: yeah sure, but what for?

leo: *sweats nervously* umm... an-an escape room

jason: w-what kind of escape room costs five thousand dollars???

leo: oh, well, you know...

jason: *raises eyebrow*

leo: *sighs* ...jail

[padawansuggest]

13 yo Obi-Wan: You guys are keeping me captive 🥺

Jaster: Ob’ika, we are bringing you back to the temple to reunite with your people.

Obi-Wan: 🥺 then why am I in a cage?

Jaster: *looks pointedly at Jango covered in bite marks, bandages and a torn kute*

Jango: Jas’Buir, he’s really cute, the bites didn’t even hurt 🥺

Obi-Wan: Yeah, I’m just making friends 🥺

Jaster: *soul deep sigh* I am not letting you out of the cell so you can maul my ad again.

Jango: Buuuir, he’s just an ad’ika, lookit his ik’aad fangs, he won’t actually hurt me!

Jaster: You we’re begging me to get his fangs out of your wrist five minutes ago.

Jango: He’s just teething!!

Jaster: Jan’ika, I know you want to keep him, but he’s not even house broken yet.

Jango: Neither was I when you adopted me!! He’s chosen me! Lemme keep him!

Obi-Wan: 🥺 I will be a good boy if you stick your fingers in my enclosure 🥺

Jaster: *physically holding Jango back* No. We will revisit this when the baar’ur has given him a Xanax omfg- *dragging Jango out of the ship hold*

[agathaharknesscovernofquotes]

Agatha: I’m seeing Rio. Jen: As in dating or hallucinations?

[watchyourbuck]

[uldren-sov]

Interviewer: Would you say you're independent?

Seven: *looks to MC*

MC: *nods*

Seven: I'd say so, yes.