#three babysitter and seven kids

[apoorhuman]

Mc: I feel like a mother of seven children.

Solomon: but I thought Lucifer is well behaved and the only mature one? Is he not excluded?

Mc: oh no, no no, Lucifer is the only mature one

Solomon: then why did you say seven?

Mc: I never exclusively said "the brothers"

Solomon: .... Are you co-parenting them with Barbatos and Lucifer?

Mc: yes

Solomon: ...

Mc:

Solomon: be patient ok? If you need anything just ask me for help *pats mc shoulder*

Mc: ah... Thank you Solomon I appreciate that

[chuluoyi]

✎ the babysitters' club

- gojo satoru x reader

in which yuji, megumi and nobara are tasked with the most important mission ever by their teacher—watching over his baby son!

genre: total crack, first years are trying their best to babysit your son to save their grades, an attempt at humor, gojo is irritating as always, fluff, fluff, fluff

note: this is sooo incredibly silly :') some inspiration are taken from the baby starfish onesie, this ask, and this illustration -> if you're wondering how gojo dressed his baby, he's looks just like that :)) tagging @3zae-zae3 <3

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

"Gojo-sensei... what is that wiggling starfish!?"

On one sunny day in jujutsu school... trouble is once again brewing in the form of Gojo Satoru bringing his baby son to the class.

"Starfish? No, no," Gojo retorted with a displeased expression, directing his gaze towards Yuji and clicking his tongue as he patted his squirming baby, which was still hidden from their view. "He's my pride and joy! Don't refer to him as starfish!"

"But you've got him dressed up as one..." Nobara pointed out, her tone flat and unimpressed.

"That's his kid," Megumi provided, wearily sighing. God, he knew already today was going to be a long day.

No one from school had seen your seven-month old baby son yet, and Gojo was determined to make it an occasion to remember.

Beaming with pride, he gently removed his baby from the starfish-themed onesie, revealing him in a tiny black jujutsu outfit specially tailored for him, complete with miniature black glasses. He held him up, presenting him for everyone to see.

"Behold, everyone... my son! Isn't he just adorable?!"

. . . a momentary silence before—

"Oh my goodness, he is!" Nobara cooed, forgetting her earlier sentiment, immediately approaching the baby with shining eyes. "Sensei, how could you manage to have a baby this cute!?"

"Heh! Only the finest technique utilized to create him—"

"Complete bullshit—"

"Hush, Megumi! No cussing in front of my baby! I'll deduct your marks!"

"Seriously...?"

"Now, class, today I have a very, very important task for you..." Gojo said, his voice dripping with mischief as he sported a broad grin. "If you succeed, I'll personally draft a recommendation letter for each of you to Yaga. But if you don't..." he paused for the suspense, scanning his three students' curious faces.

"Then I'm failing you in my class!" Gojo continued with a grin, prompting immediate reactions from his students.

“What! Why?!”

“That's not fair!”

“Sigh.”

“All you have to do was to watch over him until I come back. Everything you need is here— in this bag!”

Megumi rolled his eyes. Nobara raised an eyebrow. Only Yuji who seemed to be genuinely interested.

"Isn't that easy?" Gojo tilted his head playfully, looking absolutely stupid with his blindfold. "There are three of you here. If you can't even manage to look after one baby, then you should not even think about romance and dating."

"Nonsen—"

"Quiet, Megumi!"

And so began the day's mission: looking after Baby Gojo until his father's return.

“Lalala~ look you’re flying!”

“Fwa...”

“Kugisaki, don’t hold him like that! You’re making him cry!”

“No, I’m not— Itadori! Don’t smush his face—!”

“WAAA!”

“You idiot!” Megumi hissed, plucking the poor baby from his clueless friends and immediately soothed him, pulling him close and patting his back. He even gently shushed him, “There, there...”

And Yuji and Nobara could only look at him in awe as the baby's wails turned into soft sniffles, peaceful in his embrace.

"Whoa... Fushiguro, so babies like you, huh..."

"Unfair!" Nobara clicked his tongue, before fixing a wide smile and waved at the baby in Megumi's arms. "Hi baby~ don't you want to held by big sister—"

"He doesn't like you, Kugisaki."

And so, that was how the three of them spent half the day—constantly watching over Baby Gojo, with Megumi supervising both the baby and his two friends.

"Sometimes, I wonder what she sees in him..." Megumi grumbled sullenly, resigned to his fate, his gaze fixed on the crawling baby while he sat on the floor and threw his little sunglasses.

For all the sighs he exuded, Megumi undeniably had a soft spot for the baby. Prior today, he had held him several times, and he'd never admit it, but he'd protect him to the best of his ability, if anything, because you had done so much for him.

“Gojo-sensei is cool!” Yuji remarked. “Of course Y/N-sensei is happy with him.”

Nobara rolled her eyes. “Only you would say that.”

"Hey, don't you think he wants his milk?" Yuji suddenly pointed out, as the baby became fussy. Megumi nodded and Yuji immediately reached for the bag Gojo left. He pulled out a bottle and handed it to his friend, but in the process, he accidentally knocked the bag over, spilling its contents onto the floor.

"Ahh, my bad," the boy sighed, collecting the diapers and washcloth, until he realized that there were some more—

"What's that? Photographs?" Nobara picked one of them up, and immediately gasped. "Oh my! Look at this!"

On the picture was the same baby, but much more smaller and swaddled in baby blue blanket and tiny blue beanie. Most likely taken when he was a newborn.

"Whoa, wait, there's something written behind the photo..."

When she flipped it over, both she and Yuji studied the messy handwriting, instantly recognizing it as their teacher's.

Yaaay! ♡ Baby is here! I'm sooo happy you made it! But mama went through a lot to bring you here... so don't ever forget that she loves you very, very much, okay?

"This is sweet." Nobara looked at the picture with a genuine smile, until she realized that there were some more scattered on the floor.

The other picture was of the blue-eyed baby on his arms and knees, wrapped in an orange and black bee onesie, complete with little wings, and behind it was written:

Aren't you just the cutest bee?! And what's more, you've started crawling! Aw, papa is so proud! In no time at all, you're going to be as strong as me!

"What are you two doing over there?" Megumi asked, still feeding the baby with the milk bottle. Nobara beckoned him over.

The third photo was of you smiling so prettily while holding your baby, still in his bee suit, and Gojo also in the frame, wrapping his arm around you, clearly the one holding the camera to take the selfie.

Two my most precious treasures ♡ Sweetheart, I love you. And baby too!

Yuji smiled, as he felt warmth spreading in his chest. "Gojo-sensei really treasures his family, huh?"

"He is," Megumi agreed, because he had seen it all throughout his life.

"Well, no wonder..." Nobara giggled. "Any woman showered with this much love would be happy."

And that day, the trio also uncovered another side of their teacher, that his deepest affection was reserved exclusively for his wife and child.

Well, the sentimental feeling didn't last long though...

"This is our chance!" Nobara said in a hushed whisper. "When else are we going to get an extra family discount!?"

Megumi was so ready to burst a blood vessel as he held the baby—given that he had forbidden his two friends to lay a finger on him. "We are meeting Gojo-sensei here, not to—!"

"Hush! Itadori, don't you agree with me?!"

Yuji nudged his cross friend, trying to appease him. "Lighten up, Fushiguro! We can have more meat!"

At the last minute, Gojo suddenly told the three of them to bring his baby and meet him at the shopping center as he didn't want to waste energy to go back to the school. And like broke students Nobara and Yuji were, they decided to use Baby Gojo to snag an extra plate in a yakiniku place.

Megumi's eyes twitched. "This is not making sense at all, they won't believe—!"

"Shut up, you! Waiter~ here! We have a baby! So we're eligible for the family package!"

The judging stare of the waiter was enough to make Megumi combust on the spot, and yet somehow he passed the four of them as family eligible for the extra plate.

It was later, after they had their lunch that Megumi suddenly had an upset stomach and left the baby momentarily in his two friends' care.

And under less-than-watchful eyes...

"Hey, Kugisaki, meat on this side is the juiciest! Try it!"

"Ooh, you're right!"

The baby only blinked at them in wonder as he stayed in his spot. Not for long though... and it didn't help that they forgot his existence after they went to the cashier and headed out.

"Oi, Itadori! Don't forget to split the bill!"

"Oh yeah! Anyway, why is Fushiguro taking so long?"

Megumi got back right afterwards, and he frowned. "You done already? I haven't even gotten my ocha refill—" and it dawned to him when he saw both Yuji and Nobara with empty hands.

"Wait... where's the baby?"

"—! Oh my god!"

And when the three of them rushed back to the yakiniku place and approached their table earlier, Nobara almost screamed at the empty chairs, "He is gone!"

"You left the baby with the kids and told them to come here?!"

You were positively fuming as you scolded your stupid husband in the bustling mall.

"Well, we haven't gotten much time to spend together, just the two of us!" Satoru retorted, his tone sulky as he pouted. "And besides, Megumi is there. I'm sure they'll do just fine~"

You let out a sigh. True enough, being parents is no joke. Aside from stay-at-home dates, the frequency of the two of you going out had dwindled exponentially since having your baby.

"Technically, you are still on the clock though." You threw him a glare. "You're being a very irresponsible teacher."

Satoru smirked. "Heh, spare me. But I'm being a very good teacher to you in our—"

"One more word and I'm locking you out—!"

Just as you were about to give him your (empty) threat, the building suddenly boomed with an announcement from the mall's broadcast speaker.

"Attention, shoppers. We've received a report from three teenagers that they've lost a baby. He is seven-month old, wears black shirt, has white hair and blue eyes. He is last seen at Yakiniku Q—"

"Satoru..." your voice trembled, dread settling in the pit of your stomach. The baby described by the speaker was unmistakably your son, and the realization of him being missing sent you spiraling into panic.

"Hey, calm down." Satoru gripped your hand tightly, his voice steady as he faced you. "We're going to find him, alright? I'm here. Don't worry."

And after taking off his glasses, in a matter of seconds, Satoru figured out where he was.

Nobara's eyes welled up with tears, frustrated. "What do I do, Gojo-sensei will fail us now..." she muttered, biting her lip.

"That's what you're worried about?" Megumi replied, turning to her with a clear glare.

"He's going to be fine! He is!" Yuji interjected, trying to reassure his two friends despite his own rising anxiety. "He’s not just any random baby—who knows, maybe he can shoot cursed energy to protect himself!"

Megumi and Nobara leveled their annoyed stares on him and Yuji immediately regretted his attempt to lighten the mood.

"I still think he can't get far from the yakiniku place." Megumi was too panicked to check with the staff earlier and just went with Yuji's suggestion to report it to be announced, but now that he thought about it— "I think we should go back."

And thank goodness the three of them returned for the second time because, this time, they finally saw the baby safely cradled in your arms, with Gojo speaking to the waitresses nearby.

"Oh?! Gojo-sensei is here!"

But as soon as the three of them came into view, Gojo immediately fixed them with his unamused gaze.

"You three..." his voice was lower and it made the three kids shudder. "What did I tell you about failing this mission, huh?"

Yuji, Nobara and Megumi were visibly spooked, immediately bowing their heads in unison as they chorused—

"Gojo-sensei, we're so sorry!"

Nobara then pointed an accusing finger at Yuji. "But it was his fault! He kept eating away and didn't even oversee the baby anymore!"

"Wha!?" Yuji glared back at her. "No! You too! You kept eating my meat too!"

"Whatever it is, I'm not a part of this—" Megumi cut in boldly. "My stomach hurt so I had to go for a bit, and they couldn't even keep an eye on him—"

You soothed your squirming son as the first years were throwing blame at each other. Gaping in confusion, you couldn't help but wonder how such a simple task had turned into this incident.

"Tsk." Gojo crossed his arms dramatically, and you knew he was just messing with them, as he suddenly turned to you with a grin.

"Nah, as both a teacher and the victim's mother— Sensei~ who do you think is responsible for this? Or should I punish all three of them?"

The three kids before you were quaking in their boots, and you really didn't have time for this right now. Honestly, if if you had to quickly pinpoint the source of this chaos...

You directed your most irked glare at your husband. "You."

“Huh?!”

“You’re the one staging this by threatening their grades, and it results in our baby being missing!”

Now you were bickering with your husband and putting him in his rightful place. Nobara and Yuji gaped, while Megumi heaved a sigh of relief.

"Does this mean... our grades are saved?"

Epilogue

"They said he fell..." You pat your baby's head worriedly as he babbled happily in his crib, your expression darkening into a frown.

You didn't really blame the first years for their lack of experience, but as his mother, the news from the restaurant staff that they had found your son falling from the chair made you extremely uneasy.

Seeing your distress, Satoru’s natural response was to comfort you until you were back to smiles again. He gently tickled his boy's tummy, prompting him to squeal in absolute joy. "Look, he's perfectly fine. You don't need to worry so much, yeah?"

"But it's strange... I'm happy he's fine, but how? Most babies will get hurt or at least be inconsolable after falling. But he was totally okay..."

Satoru shifted his gaze to his son, as now his round, crystal blue eyes that mirrored his blinked back at him with such innocence and trust that even melted his heart.

"Ah, I see." Suddenly he smiled as if he had figured something out. "This is just my guess, but you know my guesses have like... 90% of probability of being correct—"

"Hmm...?"

"He might have activated Infinity by instinct. Heh."

[itsmarsss]

cool. [Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

(from the vault)

You start working as a babysitter for the Heffleys, but a certain someone seems to be bugging his parents to go out more often. Why?

Words: 6,164

Warnings: like one slight sexual/porn innuendo

[. . .]

"What do you mean someone to watch me?” Greg yelled, exhasperated.

Rodrick laughed out loud at the whole situation. “Wait is little Greg here getting a babysitter?”

“Yes, and she starts tomorrow night," their mom replied, matter-of-factly.

“Mom, I’m in seventh grade! I don’t need a babysitter!”

“We’d believe it if the last time we left the two of you alone you hadn’t directly disobeyed the only thing we told you not to do and thrown a party while we were gone," their dad explained.

“Wait. Mom. So I don’t have to watch him? Like ever again?”

“No but you should be ashamed of the reason why-”

“Hell yeah!”

“Rodrick-” He was already up the stairs on the way to his room. She sighed. 

“Mom you can’t do this to me. Do you know how bad it'll be if the guys in my grade find out you got me a babysitter?”

“They’re not gonna find out, sweetie.” She patted his head.

“And it’s not negotiable.”

“What your dad said.”

"Dad!”

“I’m sorry, kid! But if it makes you feel better, since Rodrick will be here and we’re getting a babysitter because we can’t leave the two of you alone, she’s teeechnically his babysitter too, right?”

“It doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I tried," he shrugged.

“Where are you two even going tomorrow?”

“We’re having dinner! " Susan exclaimed, excited to talk about it. "Alone, finally, because-”

“Wait couldn't she technically be Manny’s babysitter then?”

“Thank you for caring so much about what I had to say, son.” She sighed once again. “She’s not Manny’s babysitter because Manny’s gonna stay with your grandma.”

Greg huffed and made a point to be extremely loud when stumping upstairs to his room, immediately getting cornered by Rodrick. 

“So… a babysitter, huh? And I thought your seventh grade couldn’t get any worse.”

“D´you think it’ll be that bad?”

“Dude they probably got you an old lady who smells like a museum whos gonna make you eat soup at like five PM and sleep at seven.”

Greg widened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, worried at the thought of what his brother was making him imagine. “You think?”

“Yup. And I’m not even talking about the total humiliation it's gonna be if someone your age finds out.”

“Crap.”

“Good luck with that.” Rodrick was obviously enjoying the mere thought of the torture that was going to follow.

. . .

“A babysitter?” Rowley asked, rather loudly. Greg quickly put his hand over his best friend's mouth. 

“Dude! Can you be quiet?”

“Hmmph!” Rowley tried to protest.

Greg released his hand from over his mouth. “Sorry.”

“Why do I need to be quiet?”

“Because I don’t want anybody to know!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, Rowley!”

Rowley just shrugged. “I wouldn’t be embarrassed. A babysitter sounds fun! Maybe she’ll read you bedtime stories! And play board games with you!”

Greg just looked at him incredulously. “Just don’t say anything about this to anyone., okay?"

Rowley suddenly started to look really nervous. “You know I can’t lie…”

“It’s not lying! It’s just not mentioning it! No one’s gonna ask about it.”

“Okay. Fine.” He didn't seem that sure about it, but Greg knew he'd try his best.

. . .

You took in a sharp breath before knocking on the front door. It took no time for it to be sprung open, and you were greeted by a smiling Mrs. Heffley. You retributed the smile. 

“Hi Mrs. Heffley!”

“Hey, sweetie! How are you?” She asked as she ushered you into the house, startling you when she closed the door behind you as you walked in. 

“I’m alright! How about you guys? Your dress looks so pretty!”

“Oh my God, thank you! You know it’s been ages since I’ve worn a pretty dress to go out, you can’t trust three kids with a pretty dress, they're always gonna ruin it.”

“Oh God that must be hell,” you laughed along with her. “Where are you guys headed tonight?”

“Looking forward to having dinner in peace,” she laughed again. “Manny!” she yelled suddenly, startling you yet again.

A little boy walked in in his diapers, holding his pants up with both hands. 

“Manny can you just please put on your pants?” Mr. Heffley followed the kid around, frustratedly asking him for what you assumed must have been at leat a fourth time to put his pants on, judging by the tone in his voice and the sigh that accompanied it.

“No!”

“Manny!” Ms. Heffley yelled yet again. The kid did what he was supposed to.

“Um I didn’t- is Manny gonna be staying with me tonight?”

“No! No,” she laughed. “Don’t worry, we’re taking him to my mother’s house.”

“Oh, right. Okay.” You tried to let out how relieved you were. Little kids were a whole other level of difficult, specially at Manny's age.

“Darling are you ready?” Susan asked her husband.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Greg!” she yelled again.

“What?” The boy yelled back from his room upstairs. 

“Y/n’s here! Come say hi!”

“Who’s y/n?”

“Your babysitter!”

He came downstairs. Very slowly. “Mom I already-” He stopped.  “You’re not an old lady!"

“Gregory! We don't say that to people! What is that about?"

“I’m sorry! I meant- Rodrick told me my babysitter was gonna be an old lady who smelled like a museum."

"Of course he did," Mr. Heffley said, under his breath.

You pretended to smell yourself. “I think I might smell more like an art gallery maybe,” you joked.

“I’m so sorry about this."

“It’s fine, Mrs. Heffley! Don’t worry about it. Now you two go have some fun, alright? Come on."

“Yeah! Okay. Right. There’s money on the table, you can order whatever you want for dinner the kids will eat whatever. Just grab the money before Rodrick comes downstairs or he's gonna pocket it. If you need anything you can call, okay? Really, anything.”

“Don’t worry about it! I promise I’ll call if anything happens! But I think we’re just gonna stay and eat some food and watch some movies, right Greg?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Please be nice, Greg. Oh and if Rodrick bothers you tell him I said he’ll be grounded if I hear he's not letting you work alright?"

“Sure thing! Thank you. Now go!” You joked, pretending to send them off.

. . .

You and Greg had both sat down on the couch in the living room.

“So. You’re not an old lady.”

“Nope.”

“Are you in high school?”

“Yes I am.”

“What grade are you in?"

“I’m a senior!”

“Oh. Rodrick’s a senior too.”

“Cool! I don’t think I’ve seen him around though.”

“Lucky.”

“Why’s that?”

“He makes my life hell!”

“Well don’t you make his life hell at least a tiny little bit?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

“That’s just your job.”

“Trust me no girls like him.”

“Whatever, Heffley. So what do you wanna do?”

“Can we play video games?”

“Depends on what you have.”

“Apocalypse of The Damned?”

“I have never heard of that in my entire life.”

“You’re gonna like it I swear!”

“Alright. But you have to bring me the money your mom left on the table, I’m gonna order us some pizza.”

“Deal!” He ran out to the kitchen, getting back with the money in no time.

. . .

“Hey I was thinking. Can my friend sleep over?” Greg asked, obviously having been preparing himself to do so for the past few minutes, while furiously hitting buttons on his controller as you scrolled through your phone, having gotten tired of playing at that point. 

“Um. Is your friend gonna give me any trouble?”

“No! You can- you can trust us.”

“Is he annoying?”

He seemed to take his time to think of an answer. “A little. But he’s pretty cool.”

“Fine, I’ll ask your mom.”

You clicked on Mrs. Heffley’s contact name. 

hi mrs heffley

how's the date going? im sorry to interrupt

You didn't even have the time to finish writing the next text before she was calling you. You picked it up.

“Is everything okay?” Susan asked, clearly worried.

“Oh, yes. Everything’s fine, you don't have to worry! I’m so sorry to interrupt your date, Greg wanted a friend to stay over and I just wanted to see if that’s okay with you.”

“Is it Rowley?”

“Sorry?”

“The friend, is it Rowley?”

“Is it Rowley?” You asked Greg, leaning away from the phone, to which he just nodded his head yes. “Yeah, Rowley.”

“Okay, of course he can! And don’t worry, I’ll pay you extra for it.”

“Oh, that’s really nice, thank you. Now you should go back to your date, I'm so sorry to bother.”

“No worries! Are you sure everything’s fine?”

“Yes! We ordered pizza and we’re playing video games right now. Everything under control.”

“And Rodrick?”

“Uh, I haven’t really seen him honestly. He definitely hasn’t left his room though.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Bye!” You hung up.

“So?”

“Yeah, call your friend. Ask him if he has any board games we can play!”

Greg did as you said, and, in about half an hour, a little boy with a yellow shirt with a dog on it stood at the door.

“Are you Greg’s babysitter?’

“Uh yeah, I am.”

“Cool!" He looked at Greg behind you. "You told me she was old!”

“Rowley!”

“What? You did!”

You laughed at the interaction and let them do their thing, only asking them to stay by the living room so you could keep an eye on them. You sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone again as you knew the pizza should be about to get there.

The doorbell rang in no time. You stood up to pay for it, grabbing the large-size pizza and tipping the delivery guy, who didn’t look very friendly at all. You brought it in. “Hey Greg can you go call your brother?”

“Yeah!”

He ran up the stairs, and you set the box down on the dining table, Rowley sitting down. Greg came back.

“He told me to bring it to him.”

“Why?"

"He just doesn't wanna come downstairs."

"You don't have to do it.”

“What? He’s gonna beat me up for it!”

“Not with me here. I got you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Chill out.”

. . .

“Hey you little asshole? I told you to bring my pizza!” A voice exclaimed from the second floor, and Greg muffled a quiet ‘shit’.

“Hey don’t say that!” You scolded Greg for swearing as a reflex.

“Hey? Are you not listening?” Rodrick was clearly close to the kitchen now. He walked through the door. “I said get me so-” he stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you.

“Who’s this?” He asked the boys.

“That’s Y/N,” Rowley said, through gulps.

"And I'm right here you know? You could just ask me who I am."

“Well who are you? And what are you doing… here?” He leaned over the wall, in a poor attempt to look cool. You had to fight yourself tas not to laugh uncontrollably at the sight.

“Well I seem to be your babysitter for the night.”

“What?”

“Did you also expect an old lady? You know, that's a really common and really hurtful babysitter stereotype, you really should think about the things you say now.”

“Wha- huh- yeah- I’ll just-” He let out a weird laugh, and walked up to the table, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and stuffing it into his mouth, seemingly to shut himself up.

“Well we’re gonna watch a movie after we’re done eating. You wanna join?”

“Oh he’s not gonna-” Greg started talking, but Rodrick quickly interrupted him, almost choking on his food as he did so.

“Yeah! Yeah! What are we uh- what are we watching?”

“Zathura.”

“What the fuck is Zathura?”

“Don’t swear in front of them!”

“Sorry.”

Greg looked at Rowley like Rodrick had just gone insane. Did he just apologize?

You laughed. “I’m kidding. You guys don’t mind, do you?”

They both slowly nodded their head no. 

“Cool. As long as you don’t repeat it in front of your parents, alright? Don’t wanna get me in trouble.”

“We’re not five!"

“Well you do look like it,” Rodrick commented, and Greg stuck his tongue out at him.

. . .

“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Rodrick commented, pointing at the screen.

“It’s not supposed to! It’s a kids movie about a magical board game,” you pointed out.

“Let me guess, did Rowley pick this one?”

“For your information, I did. You got a problem?”

“No.”

Rowley had, in fact, picked this one.

Greg and Rowley shared a look again. This was getting bizzarre.

The movie was over in about half an hour, and it was time for you to put Greg to sleep.

“But it’s so early!” The boy complained, and you laughed.

“I know, but you don’t have to sleep now, you just gotta go to bed! I can’t, like, force you to sleep.”

He let out an annoyed groan before agreeing and pulling Rowley with him by the wrist. “Fine.”

“I’ll be upstairs in a few!” You yelled out, and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes from dinner. It wasn’t really something Mrs. Heffley had explicitly asked you to do, but you had those extra minutes and wanted to get on her good side. 

What you didn’t expect was to come in to find Rodrick still standing there, startling himself when you walked in.

“Uh hey!” His voice was high-pitched, clearly not expecting to see you there so soon.

“Hey.” You wordlessly walked to the sink, starting with the dishes. And then he offered to help you, which didn’t fit the image you had of him at all.

“What?”

“I said do you want some help? I can dry them.”

“Uh sure. Thanks.”

He just nodded, grabbing a cloth. “So did you put them to sleep yet?”

“Yeah they’re supposed to call me when they’re ready. Then I’m pretty much done.”

“Are you leaving like right after?” Was he… disappointed?

“Well not right after, your mom still has to pay me.”

“Right. She paying you extra for the dishes?”

“No,” you laughed, “just wanna score some points. This job’s good money, you know? But don’t tell her I said that.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You nodded, a little awkwardly. “So what’s the deal with the van?”

“What?”

“The huge white van parked right outside? I assume it’s not your mom’s.”

“Yeah.”

“Couldn’t you have picked a better color?”

“What?”

“You know something other than the classic creepy white van?”

He actually laughed. “I don’t think a creep would have ‘löded diper’ written on the door.”

“Maybe you’re just trying not to look too suspicious.”

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?” Was he… flirting? Well, that was… an attempt.

“What, are you inviting me? You know, I was taught not to get into creepy white vans with strangers.”

“We’re not strangers!” He held his hand up for you to shake, which you did. “I’m Rodrick.”

“Y/N.”

“So. Ho'wd you end up babysitting Greg out of all people?”

“I mean, your dad posted something about it in the newspaper and my mom told me about it. Some extra money, you know?”

“And you’re sure it’s worth it? I mean he’s a big pain in the ass.”

“Aren’t all brothers?”

“I’m not.”

“Right. You’re like a dictator to him!”

“No I’m not!”

“He was scared you were gonna beat him up if he didn’t bring you pizza.”

“He’s dumb. I wasn’t gonna beat him up that badly.”

You laughed. “Well, we’re done. Thank you for the help. You can go now if you wanna.”

“You sound like a mom.”

“Oh my god! Stop trying to make me sound old! I'm some granny cinderella who turns into an old lady who smells like a museum when midnight strikes," you teased him, and he scrunched up his nose in embarrassment.

"Right. He told you about that.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry. To be fair, I never had a babysitter, you know? I just thought they were all old and boring.”

“Do you think I’m old and boring?” You joked.

He snorted. “No, you’re pretty.” His eyes widened, realizing what he’d just said. Way to go. “Not in that- well not that you’re not pretty, you are, but you know what I mean. You’re uh- you’re pretty compared to what I- expected?"

It was stupid, but you could feel yourself blush a little. Why was it that you always fell for the most absolute idiots? “So I’m pretty… compared to an old woman.”

“I think you should let me start over.”

“But-”

“Y/N!” You heard Greg yell from upstairs, and you left the kitchen to go see him, going up the stairs and entering his room.

“Okay, we ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes!”

“Both of you?”

“Yup.”

“Okay I’ll believe you. But your mom told me you’re on thin ice.”

Greg rolled his eyes and both boys got on the bed. 

“Okay, goodnight. If you don’t sleep right away don’t make too much noise.”

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

“Why, did you actually like me?”

“Just a little.”

You smiled. “Well no. But I think I might next week.”

“Cool! ‘Night, Y/N!” 

“‘Night!”. You closed the door behind you, and walked downstairs to wait for Mrs. and Mr. Heffley to return so you could go home. 

You stopped on the hallway to send your mom a quick text saying you were fine and should be leaving in a few before making your way to the living room.

To your surprise, Rodrick hadn’t gotten back to his room. Instead, he was laying on the couch, his entire body draped over it as he scrolled through his phone. He sat right up when he saw you. “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey. You not have anything to do?”

“I’m offended. But no I don’t.”

You laugh, sitting down beside him. “Okay. Well your parents must be on their way, so. Don’t have much to do either.”

“You wanna watch something?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well a real movie.”

“Zathura’s a real movie! I like it!”

“You actually do?”

“Yes!”

“Whatever. Well an adult movie I mean.”

“Uh, an adult movie?”

“No! Not that kind!” He was blushing furiously and you found it hilarious. 

“Yeah whatever. What do you have?”

You ended up settling on a Marvel movie, but you barely had the time to start it before the doorbell rang, and you had to go get the door.

“Hey Y/N! I’m sorry we took so long, we had to go get Manny.”

“That’s fine! Rodrick and I were just about to watch a movie!”

“Rodrick came downstairs?” Mr. Heffley sounded genuinely surprised.

“Well you can finish it if you want!”

“Oh, no, I really should get going. We can finish it another time.”

“Oh well. Okay.” She put Manny down and grabbed her wallet, handing you your money. “Here, with the extra from Rowley. Hope they didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“Oh they were so cool! I was surprised.”

“Oh that’s great to hear! If they haven’t traumatized you too much we’d love to have you sit them again.”

“Oh definitely! Just give me a call.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Are you driving home?”

“Oh, no, I’m actually walking. I thought we’d be done a little earlier.”

“Oh that’s not good, we can take you-”

“I can take her!” Rodrick yelled, almost falling off of the couch in his eagerness. He stood up, walking toward you. His dad looked like he was short-circuiting.

“Are you sure?” His mom asked.

“Yeah! Come on, let’s go.” He walked quickly past the front door and into the white van.

“Sure. Bye Mrs. Heffley!”

“Bye sweetie! Tell me if he bothers you too much!”

You walked towards the van, getting in on the passenger’s seat. He turned the engine on in silence. There was an awkward atmosphere surrounding you, and you didn’t know why.

You cleared your throat. “So uh. Thanks for driving me.”

“Yeah it’s chill. Where do I turn?”

“Oh let me just- give me your phone.”

“What?”

“So I can put the address on the GPS?”

“Oh. Sure.” He handed it to you after unlocking it, and you did as you said. 

“Turn left in 200 feet,” the disembodied voice said, and he did.

“You don’t have to uh- do these things for me. You know, drive me home, help me with the dishes. It’s nice, but I’m not gonna tell on you if you don’t.”

“I know. I uh. I want to.”

“You wanna do the dishes?”

“I wanna help you.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Fine.”

You got home pretty quickly, as you didn’t live a long way from the Heffley residence, and got out of the car. 

“Thank you for driving me! Goodnight.”

“Yeah!” Rodrick yelled back, and waited for you to get in to drive off. There was a smile on your lips you couldn’t shake off, and you felt stupid for it. Was the weird wannabe rock band kid really having an effect on you?

. . .

On wednesday, you got a call from Ms. Heffley again. And then on friday, and saturday, and sunday. This could not be normal, right? But it was money, so you obviously wouldn’t refuse it. So you pulled up to the Heffley residence for the fifth time on sunday, knocking on the door as usual.

Greg opened it this time, greeting you with a confused expression. “You’re here again?”

“Miss me, kid?”

“Are they going out again?”

“Apparently.”

“Mom, Y/N’s here!”

“Oh hey sweetie! Thank you for coming!”

“No problem! Where are you off to today?”

“Well we’re going bowling. Rodrick found us these pamphlets at the mall and wouldn’t stop bugging us about trying it out, so we decided to give it a go.”

“Oh he did?” That was strange.

“And you seem to have things so under control! I can’t believe we’ve been going out so much!”

“Well I’m happy to hear it. When will you be back?”

“I’d say eleven if that’s not too late for you?”

“Oh definitely not! As long as Rodrick can drive me.”

“Oh that won’t be a problem. You ready, darling?” She asked her husband, who walked by holding Manny in one arm and a huge bag in the other. 

“Yeah.”

"Everything there?” Susan asked him, referring to the bag. She turned back to you. “Manny’s staying over at my mom’s for the first time today. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Yeah!" You exclaimed, not really getting all the excitement about it. You supposed you would if you were his mom. Right now you were just happy you didn’t have to watch over him too. Little kids were always more difficult. 

“Okay bye everyone!”

Greg and Rodrick were right behind you the moment you closed the door.

“Can we make pasta?’ Greg asked, and damn, the little dude must have had some sugar because he looked like he’d downed like three energy drinks at once.

“Well yeah. I make a killer pasta. Is Rowley coming today?”

“Yeah!”

“Cool.”

“Do you want help with the food?” Rodrick finally spoke up, and Greg looked at him like he was speaking Greek.

“Sure.”

“Are you okay?’ Greg couldn’t contain himself from asking him.

“What do you mean, assface?”

“Did you just offer to help with the food?”

“Yeah?”

“Who are you?”

“Oh shut it, dickhead.” You didn’t miss the nervous glance he gave you, clearly signaling something about you to Greg. And then Greg seemed to figure something out, his eyes going wide.

“Oh! Is that why you-” Rodrick looked alarmed, putting his hand against Greg’s mouth to keep him from talking, but he managed to get himself free. “Is that why you’ve been trying to get mom and dad to go out all week?”

“Hah. Don’t know what he’s talking about, pssht.” Rodrick laughed nervously.

“Uh sure. Well I’m already hungry so I’m thinking early dinner and then we can make dessert?”

“Yes!” Greg yelled.

“Okay but if we’re making the food you gotta set the table. Deal?” 

Greg groaned in annoyance, but agreed. “Fine.” He went on his way, and you and Rodrick made your own way to the kitchen.

“So,” you started, as you grabbed the pasta from the cabinet. “You’ve been trying to get your parents to go out all week.”

He looked everywhere but at you. “Uh, I don’t know what the kid’s on about.”

“Well, shame. Cause I was gonna thank you.”

“For what?”

“Well the more times a week I work the more money I get right?”

“Oh right. Right. So yeah you can thank me.”

“So you were setting them up to go out. Why?”

He shrugged, trying to seem cool. “Wanted to be alone.”

“You’re not alone now. You could be in your room. Or like out with your friends or whatever.”

“I didn’t anticipate that you’d actually be cool.”

“Oh you think I’m cool?”

“Yeah.” 

The water started to boil, and you threw the pasta in the pot, stirring it with a fork.

“Cool. You’re kinda cool too. You know when you’re not trying to be impressive.”

“I’m not trying to impress you!”

“I didn’t say you were trying to impress me .”

“Well I was.”

“You were.”

“Did it work?”

“Why’d you want to impress me?”

“Cause you’re cool. I wanted you to think I’m cool too.”

“Huh. Maybe I do.”

“Cool.”

“Y/N I’M DONE! I THINK ROWLEY’S HERE !” Greg’s voice came from the dining room.

“I didn’t hear the doorbell, are you sure?” You yelled back, walking past Rodrick to get the front door. Maybe you were too lost in the conversion to hear it, because the boy was standing right there when you opened it.

“Hey Y/N!” He said with a smile, greeting you with a hug, which was very on-brand for the kid. 

“Hey Rowley. You alright?”

“Yeah! I brought water balloons!”

“You did?”

“Well they’re not full of water yet so they’re just balloons but yeah.”

“Cool! You should tell Greg!”

“Will you play with us?”

“Oh I don’t know, I don’t have clothes I can get wet-”

“Well that’s not a problem!” Rodrick said, and you frowned in confusion. “You can borrow mine!”

“Oh I don-”

“C’mon, Y/N, you really gonna disappoint the boy?”

“Shut up. Fine, but you’re playing too.”

“Deal.”

“Yes!” Rowley exclaimed, before taking off, presumably to go find Greg.

“Well you wanna go up to my room?” Rodrick asked, apparently having otten some confidence from out of the blue, sporting a cocky smirk.

You laughed. “You wish. Just bring me a t-shirt.”

“Yeah. Someone’s gonna be looking like the number one Loded Diper fan out there.”

“If you bring me a white shirt I will beat you up!” You yelled, and he was already on his way upstairs. You took the past out of the pot, mixing it with the sauce you’d made, which was the easiest one you could find.

Rodrick was back as soon as you set the pot down on the table, handing you a gray shirt that , of course, had ‘loded diper’ written on it in terrible handwriting. 

“Thanks.” You draped the shirt over your shoulder and all of you ate in silence, apparently all stupidly hungry for some reason.

You were done pretty quickly, but made sure to get Greg and Rowley to promise to help with the dishes this time, since there were more.

“Okay! We’re gonna get changed!”

“Yeah me too!” You yelled back, making your way to the bathroom, changing into Rodrick’s gray shirt.

It didn’t hang as loose as you thought it would, and you laughed at the thought of Rodrick wearing a tight shirt for no reason. You supposed it was an old one he decided to turn into loded diper merch. Loded diper. What a stupid fucking name. You guessed it was fit. 

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. Rodrick. “You done? These kids are little demons, they talk so much!”

You laughed, unlocking the door and grabbing your own shirt before opening it. 

“Hello?” He looked wide-eyed, like his brain was malfunctioning, staring profusely at his shirt. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, awkwardly. “Fine. The shirt alright?”

“Yeah. A lot smaller than I expected. Does Rodrick Heffley wear crop tops?”

He shrugged, embarrassed. “Sometimes. That bad?”

“No.”

“Chicks dig the crop tops, you know.”

“Oh do they?”

“Don’t you?”

“I guess I’d have to see you in one to give an opinion.”

“Yeah that’s not happening any soon."

“Shame.”

“What?”

“I said let’s go.”

You barely had the time to walk into the front yard before Rodrick was hit on the face by a huge water balloon. You turned to see a terrified-looking Rowley at the other side. Rodrick gained his bearings again. 

“Oh you’re in, you little shit!” He seemed way too determined on winning this, but who were you to judge?

Him and Rowley occupied themselves with each other pretty much the whole time, as you did with Greg, until you got hit rather strongly in the back. You stopped what you were doing, which was aiming your next balloon at Greg, who was right in front of you, and turned around to see Rodrick laughing at you.

“Motherfucker-” you cursed yourself mentally for swearing in front of the kids, hoping they wouldn ‘t tell on you, and launched the balloon at him at full speed, it landing on his chest. 

“Hey!”

You played for about half an hour more until the sun set, and you decided it was best to get back inside. All three complained, and you laughed at the situation, because you supposed you did sort of sound like a mom when trying to convince them to get in, but they ended up listening.

“Okay what are we watching tonight?” You asked as you closed the front door behind you and dried your feet on the mat by the entrance.

“Oh can we watch a horror movie?” Greg asked.

“Nope, we know how that ends.”

“But we’ve changed!”

“It’s been less than a week!”

“People change!” Greg tried to plead, but you knew Mrs. Heffley wouldn’t like it if you caved in.

“No can do, Gregory. We can watch that Adam Sandler movie you wanted though.”

“With the little kid?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

You were halfway through a second movie when the boys decided it was time for dessert, and you still had a little while before the Heffleys came back, so you decided you’d all bake cupcakes.

They didn’t turn out as great as you wished they would, but also weren’t half bad. They were a little flat and maybe a little toasted on the top, but were otherwise pretty edible. You covered them with some frosting and ate them as you finished the movie.

It turned out when you were done the Heffleys still hadn’t come back, so you decided to put the boys to sleep then. You came back to Ridrick looking at you at the other end of the hallway. 

“Hey,” you said, not expecting him to be there.

You stood there in silence for a few moments before he cleared his throat and started talking.

“Um do you wanna hang out? ‘Till they're back?” It was funny, with him. One moment he’d be full of confidence, flirting with you at the max, but, in a second, his entire demeanor would change and he’d look unsure, insecure to ask you anything.

You were starting to wonder if he wasn’t just being a stupid hormonal teenager and if he actually, maybe, had a little bit of a crush on you. But you wouldn’t entertain those thoughts, of course. First because you could be completely misinterpreting the situations, and second because you needed the job, and you hadn’t gotten enough of a read on his mom to know if she’d be cool with that.

Still, you did have nothing else to do but scroll through your phone as you waited. “Sure.”

“Oh! Cool. Uh, my room’s right there,” he pointed to a white door by his left, and you followed him in. It actually looked pretty cool. It was sort of exactly what you expected his room to look like, except maybe a little messier, if that was possible.

To each their own, I guess. It’s not like you were the cleanest person to ever walk the Earth. You sat down on his bed, and he opted to sit down on a beanbag just in front of you.

TIt's safe to say things were a little awkward. “Uh. So. Cool room.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You studied the multiple posters he had glued to his walls. “Oh, The Cure. Cool.”

“Yeah. They’re not like super my style or anything. But they’re cool.”

“What would be your style?”

“I don’t know. Hard rock.”

“Huh. I don’t know. You just look like one of those guys who like rock but secretly listen to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber or something when they’re alone.”

“What- what I would never- I don’t-” busted. 

You laughed at him as he tried to deny it. “I think it’s cool.”

He stopped. “You do?”

“Yeah. Taylor Swift’s cool.”

“Yeah uh. Girls dig that.”

“Do you really know what girls dig or do you just make random guesses?”

“I’m well-informed.”

“Oh are you? You have a girlfriend or something?” Subtle.

He scoffed. “Pfft. Yeah.”

“Uh- huh.”

He gave in. “No, I don’t.”

“Okay”

“You're a girl. What do you dig then?”

“What a romantic way to phrase that question. I guess I don’t know. Never stopped to think of it. What do you think we dig?”

“Uh. Bad boys?”

You let out a laugh. “Yeah I guess. But it depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether they’re nice to us.”

“So you want bad boys who are actually nice.”

“Yeah.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Uh. But I can be nice.”

“Who said you’re a bad boy to begin with?”

“Um rock band? Cool eyeliner?” He motioned to himself, mockingly.

“Well who do you wanna be nice for?”

“Uh. You? Obviously.”

Your smile faltered. There was the confidence making an appearance again.

“What?”

“Uh. You know. So I can uh- practice. For other... girls?”

“Right.”

“Or maybe not.”

“Okay I ‘m lost.”

“Do you wanna go out with me? ” He blurted out at rapid speed.

Okay, sudden much? “What?”

“Uh. We could… go to the movies or something? You seem to like movies.”

“Right. But as a… date?”

“Yeah.”

You thought about it. It was just a date, it’s not like his mom would get mad about a date, right?

“Sure.”

“What?”

“I said sure.”

His eyes widened, he didn’t seem to have been expecting a positive answer. “Oh! That’s cool! That's- cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

He began standing up. “Well, do you wanna-” In that very moment, before he could finish, the doorbell rang, and you made your way past him, running downstairs and getting the front door. 

“Y/N! How are we?”

You hoped the blush on your cheeks wasn’t as visible as it felt as you talked to her. “We’re great! Greg and Rowley are already in bed, Rodrick and I have been uh. Hanging out.”

“Oh that’s nice of him!” She turned to face her husband, who, in turn, grabbed your wrist. 

“What have you done to him? Are you some sort of witch?” He asked you.

You laughed awkwardly. “Oh it’s all him! He was showing me the posters in his room, we like the same bands!”

“Oh do you uh. Like rock too?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well we’re taking too much of your time. Is Rodrick driving you home?”

Oh, right. Shit. He was.

“Yeah I uh, think so.”

With that, he walked into your view, holding up the van keys. He’d apparently put on shades, probably so his parents wouldn’t see he had eyeliner on.

“Why do you have sunglasses on?” Mr. Heffley asked him as he walked past them.

“It’s called fashion, dad!”

Mrs. Heffley handed you the money for the night, and you went on your way, getting into the van with Rodrick, who, by now, didn’t need the GPS to get to your place. Except he wasn’t driving to your place at all.

“What are you doing?”

“Wanted a slushie. That cool?”

“I guess.”

He stopped by a 7/11 and bought each of you a slushie and some chocolate bars, which you ate outside. The wind started to get harsher, and you crossed your arms around your chest for warmth. He caught on to that, taking his striped hoodie off and giving it to you. You looked up at him, confused.

“What?”

“You’re cold.”

“Yeah but you’ll be cold.”

“Rockstars don’t get cold.”

“You’re not a rockstar.”

“Not yet."

You raised an eyebrow at him, unamused.

"Just take it!” 

You did, and put it on. This one hung looser than the shirt you’d borrowed earlier. It did help. You tried your best to contain the smile that was insisting on forming on your lips. You knew it was dumb.

“Thanks,” you mumbled under your breath, and you could see him smirk, proud of himself. “You’re so cheesy. Wouldn’t take you for it.” 

“I’m not cheesy. I’m just not an asshole.”

“You kinda are.”

“Shut up!”

You ate in silence for a bit before you decided to say what was on your mind. “Hey about that date?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t… I don’t know if we should do it.”

He tried to seem chill about it, but he looked a little hurt. “Why?”

“Well it’s not that I don’t want to! I do. For… some reason,” you added, trying to lighten up the mood. “But do you think your mom would be cool with it? I mean I don’t wanna lose this job and I don’t know if she’d really like us being alone if we’re dating.”

His face lit up. “So you’re thinking about dating me?”

Oh, you’d messed up big time now, he’d never let this go. “No! That’s not what I meant!”

“I think it is.”

“Fuck off!”

“Oh we’re using big boy words now?” He grinned.

“Shut up.”

“Well. Don’t think that should be a problem. They don’t have to know.”

“What do you mean?”

“What, do you tell your parents everything? They don’t have to know we’re dating.”

“Yeah but we’re not dating.”

“Not yet.”

“Shut up!”

“They don’t have to know we’re going on a date, then. Plus, the days you work can be like little dates.”

“Yeah except there will be two children up our asses.”

“You can manage.”

“Fine, Heffley. But if I lose my job you’ll be owing me. Like literal money.”

“Deal.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

[. . .]

A/N: sometimes ur 20 pages into a diary of a wimpy kid rodrick heffley oneshot and you ask urself wtf am i doing with my life. this is the product of that. i wrote this THREE YEARS AGO WOW so i edited some of it to post it here but nothing major cause i didn't want it to lose its energy lol. btw i was in fact like. actually in high school at the time lmao. luv yall!

[upsidedownwithsteve]

hand me your heart. 1973

Steve Harrington x fem!reader. A Halloween miniseries.

“Trick or treat!”

Steve’s staring. He’s never seen a prettier princess, not even in those Disney films his cousin Katy makes him watch. He’s seven years old and he’s not sure what to do with himself, so he stands in his oversized doorway and holds the candy jar his mom filled up before she left with his dad to go to some fancy dinner. There’s full size chocolate bars in there, a packet of giant twizzlers that has the whole thing smelling like fake cherries.

His babysitter is a freshman called Jessica and she’s been on the phone in the kitchen for an hour now, the curly wire wrapped around one arm and a leg as she picks at the pepperoni pizza they’d ordered two hours ago. She refused to take him out trick or treating, said it was dumb and for kids, but Steve is a kid. He’s seven years old and his parents haven’t been home for the last three weekends and he’d begged and begged for them to take him trick or treating.

His mom had nodded and smiled, but she’d been on the phone at the time with Sharon from the country club. his dad had said fine but he’d been reading the newspaper and when Steve had reminded him the next day, he said he couldn’t remember agreeing to that.

Turns out they were busy and Jessica had been booked to babysit for weeks ahead of time.

It’s fine. He didn’t have a costume anyway.

And besides, if he’d went out roaming the streets for candy, he wouldn’t have been home to open his door for you.

You’re super pretty, with a purple dress on that’s a little too long but he can see your sneakers peeking out underneath. You have a tiara on too - it’s a little squint but Steve doesn’t think it matters, it suits you that way. He’s seen you in school, you’re in the class below him and you like to play with the jump ropes at recess, you have strawberry milk with your lunch. He knows your name even if he’s too scared to say it out loud and right now, you’re standing on his porch with a kind faced lady he thinks might be your mom.

You’re staring at him too.

Just before he forgets himself, he remembers he’s in old pyjama pants and a basketball shirt that his dad bought him before he chose a team he liked best. So it’s a garish orange that makes his eyes hurt and his pants have tiny gingerbread men on them because his mom still hadn’t done any laundry since she got back from Cabo.

Maybe you won’t notice, he thinks. Maybe, if he’s really lucky, you won’t care.

But you take a Hershey bar from the bowl Steve’s still holding with a small smile when you realise he isn’t going to ask you to tell him a joke or, well, speak at all. So you say thank you because that’s what your mom taught you to do and then you run off back into the street with your purple dress blowing behind you. The wind picks at it, tugs at the hem that’s a little wet and muddy from the October weather and Steve can see your yellow leggings underneath and they have pumpkins on them and suddenly Steve doesn’t feel as silly as he did before.

Steve’s still watching. Long after you’ve caught up with your friend and her mom, another girl Steve knows from school. Someone called Robin and he only knows that because she trips over a lot and always has to see the nurse for a bandaid.

There’s a wind that’s picking up, blowing the fallen leaves across the sidewalk that’s full of kids because everyone comes to his neighbourhood for the good candy and Steve stands alone on his porch. He watches you walk away and fix your tiara until finally you turn back around and catch his eye. It’s dark and you’re a little far, so maybe, he hopes, you can’t see his cheeks turn red. A burning pink that reaches his ears and makes him Timmy feel a little weird. But you smile and wave at him, a tiny gesture that has Steve’s heart thumping and he smiles right back. He wants to wave too, but he’s still holding that big bowl of candy and he’s real scared that he’ll drop it and look like even more of an idiot.

But you smiled at him, a real nice smile that showed off your missing back tooth and Steve thinks that it’s the best thing to happen all night, even better than when he watched Todd Freeman tee-pee Mrs Hackleshaw’s front lawn from his dad’s office window.

And maybe, he thinks, next Halloween, he can go trick or treating with you too.

[starkwlkr]

monster mash | oscar piastri

summerween masterlist

Oscar didn’t think he would be babysitting on Halloween night, but then again he didn’t have plans. He was stuck babysitting his mom’s friend’s kid, Luke. The parents were going to a Halloween party so Oscar’s mom volunteered her son to babysit.

“Why would you do that? I’ve never even met the kid!” Oscar groaned as Nicole Piastri closed the front door after giving candy to trick or treaters.

“Laurie is a good woman and she even babysat you so please just look after Luke for one night.” Nicole replied.

“Mum, it’s Halloween.” Oscar frowned.

“And you’re babysitting.”

So Oscar got ready and drove to Laurie’s house that was decorated with skulls, pumpkins and fake spiderwebs. It was clear that this family took the holiday seriously. After ringing the doorbell, the door opened revealing a kid with a pirate costume.

“What are you supposed to be?” The boy asked.

Oscar rolled his eyes. “Your babysitter for the next three hours.”

“Lame.”

“Luke! Be nice to Oscar!” The boy’s mother said as she walked to the door to greet Oscar. She was dressed as Dorothy from the wizard of oz while her husband was dressed as the scarecrow. “Hi, thanks for coming. Our numbers are on a sticky note on the fridge, he is not allowed to watch any scary movie no matter what he says and no more eating candy.”

“But it’s Halloween!” Luke whined.

“Listen to your mother, Luke, no more candy.” His father stated. “There’s money on the kitchen counter if you want to order some pizza. We should be home by 12.”

Oscar nodded at all their instructions. How was he supposed to keep a kid entertained? Legos? He didn’t know the first rule to entertain kids.

After Luke’s mom and dad left, the seven year old immediately ran to the living room and grabbed the landline. Oscar wasn’t sure if what to do. It’s not everyday that a little kid uses a landline. After dialing a number and waiting a few seconds, Luke spoke into the phone.

“They’re gone. My dad left money for pizza. Bring your candy too.” He said then hung up.

Oscar stood in the living room confused. “Who were you talking to?”

“Sarah.” Luke replied casually. He then walked to the coffee table and grabbed the remote, turning on the tv and clicking netflix. “Can you order cheese pizza?”

Oscar didn’t think much of it so he walked to the kitchen to grab the money. His heart stopped when he noticed the back door was wide open. Was this some kind of prank? Surely it was. Before he could do anything, a loud yell startled him from behind him.

“Fuck!” Oscar yelled out as he turned around and saw a random girl laughing along with Luke and another little girl in a Wednesday Addams costume. “That’s not funny.”

“You scream like a girl!” Luke laughed, but stopped when the little girl punched his arm. “Ow!”

“Sorry, it’s Halloween, everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” The random girl said then extended her hand towards Oscar. “I’m Y/n. I’m Luke’s neighbor and this is my sister, Sarah.”

“Oscar, I’m Luke’s babysitter, but only for today.” He made sure to include the last part. He stared at the girl, captivated by her beauty. He figured he must’ve stared at Y/n for a while because Luke was complaining that he was hungry for pizza. “Oh, pizza, yeah right.”

While Sarah and Luke went back to the living room, Y/n hung out with Oscar in the kitchen. He dialed the pizza place. As he ordered, he started stuttering. That’s when Y/n offered to order instead.

“Hey, Tommy! Can we get our usual? And throw in those lava cakes too and a coke. Yeah, thanks. See ya.” Y/n spoke with confidence then hung up and gave Oscar his phone back.

“You know the pizza guy?” Oscar questioned.

“Yeah. He’s my ex, but it all ended on good terms.” Y/n said. “So Freddy, Michael or Jason?”

“What?”

“Do you have a preference? I’m more of a Michael Myers kind of girl, but we can watch Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street or if you’re into something else, that’s cool too.” She smiled at Oscar as they walked back to the living room where the kids were trying to find a movie to watch.

“But he’s not—” Oscar pointed to Luke.

“Supposed to watch scary movies? We do this every year! My mom gets a babysitter on Halloween, Sarah and Y/n come over and we eat pizza and watch scary movies!” Luke interrupted. “My mom doesn’t know so don’t tell!”

“Yeah, don’t be lame!” Sarah added.

“Sarah! Be nice or we’re leaving.” Y/n warned. “It’s cool, they won’t get scared.”

“What about the other babysitter? Did they know about this too?” Oscar questioned. He really wasn’t in the mood to get in trouble.

“Yeah, but she was going to tell Luke’s mom and now she’s missing.” Sarah said with no emotion. Oscar nervously laughed, but stopped when no one around him was laughing.

“She’s joking. The last babysitter left because of college and yes she knew about this so come sit so we can watch a movie.” Y/n patted the seat next to her.

Oscar had to come clean at some point. He hated scary movies. He would rather sit through a romance movie than watch some person getting killed by a slasher. So instead of suggesting a more family friendly Halloween movie like Hotel Transylvania, he blurted out two words. Just Dance.

“You mean the game?” Luke asked.

“Yeah, the second one has Monster Mash. It could be . . . fun.” Oscar shyly said.

“Oh god, I haven’t played Just Dance in forever! I say let’s do it.” Y/n agreed and stood up from the couch. Since Luke didn’t have the game, Oscar put the dance on YouTube.

“Wanna try?” Oscar asked Y/n. He looked at the kids. “They don’t look too convinced.”

“Eh, they’ll just have to watch us dance horribly.” Y/n chuckled.

“Speak for yourself! I am a Just Dance champion.”

The kids watched as Oscar and Y/n danced like a zombie while the iconic Halloween song played. They didn’t even notice when Y/n’s ex aka the pizza guy knocked on the door ready to deliver the cheese pizza and lava cake and soda.

Luke opened the door and gave him the money. “Thanks. Keep the change.” He handed Sarah the bottle of soda.

“A dollar?” Before Tommy the pizza guy could get another word in, Luke slammed the door shut.

The kids watched as Oscar picked another song to dance to. Luke shook his head in disappointment. Even he could tell that Oscar had developed a crush on his neighbor.

“Do you know your sister’s number?” Luke asked Sarah.

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” Luke replied. “Want to share a lava cake?”

Eventually, Y/n and Sarah had to leave since Luke’s parents were coming back. As Oscar was putting Luke to bed, the boy gave him a piece of paper with a number on it.

“What’s that?” Oscar asked.

“Y/n’s number. She likes the color red, Agatha Christie books and scary movies.” Luke replied. “It looked like you needed help.”

Oscar couldn’t believe it. Was he that bad that a seven year old had to help him get a cute girl’s number?

“Uh, thanks?” He took the small slip of paper. “Get some sleep, Luke.” He smiled at the boy.

“Oscar? If you and Y/n get married—”

“Okay, I wouldn’t go that far.” Not yet at least.

TAGLIST

@yannew @annieoncrack @stinkyjax

[pricegouge]

Humor Me (Even When it's Ruining Me)

part two

masterlist | taglist: pricegouged

babysitter!reader x single dad!price

cw: fem reader. implied age gap. nothing specific beyond reader being legal. alcohol. reader is a brat and john's having a lot of fun with it. inappropriate work flirting lmao. also i beefed john up cause i could. daddy kink. MDNI

Banner by @/cafekitsune

Chapter two

Three weeks later and you don't quite know what's happened, or who you even are anymore. You're waspish and short, run ragged between classes and the two families you've somehow managed to become employed for. They're nice enough to coordinate between themselves, most nights - Kate reaching out with a schedule the two of them have agreed on that lets you manage both kids at once. That doesn't mean they can always get their kids under the same roof for you, their schedules always too full to manage the drive across town. As if yours is any better.

The tentative routine you've fallen into is easy enough on paper, attending morning class before heading over to the Laswell's and doing most of your classwork there, even attending an online lesson once a week because Colin is a little angel who can remain calm as long as you are, but it all goes pretty much to shit the second you embark to pick up Emily from preschool around midafternoon, loading Colin into the carseat the Laswells very generously bought for you. 

(Between the fact that it stays belted into your car twentyfour seven now because you don't trust yourself to reinstall it properly without the weirdly mechanical tests John used to ensure its safety when he set it up the first time and the fact that Colin can occasionally be heard cooing in the background of your more interactive lessons, there's definitely a rumor going around campus that you have a baby. You're not sure how you feel about it, but it does tend to keep the more annoying boys at arm's length so you haven't really gone out of your way to correct it quite yet. Emily's booster gets stored in your trunk, though. You don't quite want to know what kind of leper you'd become if your classmates thought you'd been on Sixteen and Pregnant.) 

The girl is… tougher. Well behaved but boisterous, moody at times. Her rambunctiousness is infectious, gets Colin worked up from the confines of his seat in a way he doesn't usually wind down from for hours while Emily prattles on about her day and waves glittery crafts at you, leaving your car looking like a bad drag hangover, still-tacky finger paints smearing like lipstick stains on your upholstery. 

(This is why Emily's booster stays in the trunk, there's already enough misleading evidence all over your car.)

(This is why John doesn't pick up his own daughter, you're fairly sure, and you've half a mind to install a glitter bomb in his glove box as revenge.)

You don't always have to watch the girl, John's evening schedule an unfixed thing, but Emily always seems excited to see you pulling up, as if she knows that her father works even when he's home. It's why you try to stay patient with her when her boundless energy riles the baby up, or when her incessant need for attention prevents you from finishing papers on time. It's not her fault, but it is slowly driving you insane.

Gina helps out when she can, usually bringing dinner for everyone when she stops by the Price's to pick up her kid in the early evening. Sometimes she even stays for a bit, helps keep Emily entertained while you streamline the bedtime routine with hopes of finishing up homework after she tucks in for the night. It's a valiant effort made by all, but the girl doesn't often play along, much too busy antagonizing you to bother showering in a timely manner. There are nights you think of her more like a little sister than a client, the way she picks on you. You feed it right back in your darker hours, when having every minute of your day planned out and consumed weighs on you, giving you teeth. You'd made her cry once by mistake, your tone more than your words themselves needling under her skin until she burst into tears, hid in her room until her father came home. There'd been an odd sense of relief to it, balancing out the panic of a bad review. Sure, you'd be fired and no one would want to hire you ever again if John used that one app where you got most of your odd jobs, but at least the Laswells wouldn't give you up and you could return to your regular schedule. But when Mr. Price got home that evening, he'd only listened to his whiny daughter with a soft smile, kissing her on the forehead before telling you both that he 'Wished his girls would get along.'

You can see where Emily gets it from, her ability to drive you insane, but where the girl is loud and prickly or candy-sweet by turns, a constant one man crew of Guess Who, her father is a steady, low stream abrading you, the funnel where he slips through your cells eroding until he's a constant bubbling under your skin. He's incorrigible, insidious, shameless. 

Escalating, lock step with you.

You still haven't returned his shirt. Well, technically you had - once. Worn it that Wednesday, the first time he'd asked you back. You'd done it with every intention of teasing him a little, noting you'd need a replacement if he wanted it back now, and changing out of it before leaving for the night. He'd turned it on your head with a simple 'You could always just take it off,' before you'd even been able to reveal your plan to give it back to him. 

He should have expected you to retaliate after that, returning home with it once more. It's remained safe in your dresser ever since, one less avenue for him to come barrelling down the center of, catching you in his headlights like a deer too scared to run. And if keeping it means you get to wear it to bed sometimes, so be it. That's his fault, too, always texting you so late to 'make sure you got back okay.' It's possible he's being gentlemanly, but that would be a first so you refuse to believe it, assume instead that he wants to make you think of him when you're climbing into bed each night. Like you need the help, like you haven't already worn the scent off his shirt. Sometimes you think about weaseling another one from him, or wonder how long it would take him to notice if you outright stole one. You know which room is his, have caught glimpses through the cracked door sometimes when following Emily up to her room. He never shuts it, too trusting. You probably would've already gotten yourself off on his pillow like a bitch in heat if he hadn't let slip early on that Emily sometimes likes to sleep in his bed when he's away. 'Think she misses me sometimes,' his voice was sad but the leer he gave you as he continued was anything but. 'She's allowed, if she wants.'

The next day he mentioned Emily falls asleep quickest when someone lies down with her to read her story. Your papers continue going unwritten, the girl wandering out of her bedroom late into the night because you refuse to start the habit when you know how it will end.

It's unsustainable, feels like you're circling the drain. But the money is great. 

While the Laswells had never been stingy, John pays you like a dental surgeon each time he needs you. That same exorbitant rate from the first night, now with a prepaid gas card he seems very uninterested in monitoring the spending of. You'd be tempted to test your theory if you had time, take a road trip out to your parents or something just to see if it ever got declined. Sometimes you fantasize about it at night, texting him an SOS and a picture of your gas gauge on E. It's embarrassing how often he shows up to save the day in your daydreams now, racing to your side in his gleaming Lexus to refuel your car with a suggestive smile, working the nozzle past your intake valve like he's slipping into a wet cunt. 

You should probably get laid, but who has the time? Especially given your… situation. 

(Your situation being there is no situation. Never has been one. Virginal as the day you were born save for some over-the-pants heavy petting in high school and a rotation of cheap drug store vibes you usually end up abandoning for your own fingers because dear god, you'd think you'd have learned after the first wasted investment but up until now, with John's much needed help, you haven't really been in a position to just spend on sex toys all willy nilly and while yeah, sure, you are now, every time you go to spend his money on an imitation cock you can't help thinking might look like his, you suddenly remember you're only here because you can't put your big girl panties on and -.)

It takes time, is the problem. You don't need the whole blanket under the stars treatment, but you at least want some evidence that you're not going to get jackhammered into the mattress by some selfish, overeager boy who wouldn't know how to get you off if you gave him a manual. But evidence takes time to gather, takes meetups in frat parties you have no interest in attending, and makeout sessions smelly couches just to see if your partner knows how to use their tongue. And for all his provisions, John (John.) has made well and truly certain that the one thing you don't have, is in fact time.

>Need you tonight.

The vibration of your phone against the library desk is loud as a gunshot, the message itself ringing in your ears just as bad. You placed your phone back on the table and sent your deskmate, a handsome senior named Paul who'd been your unofficial Saturday morning library pal for the last two semesters, an apologetic glance.

Paul just waved his hand at you dismissively, a small smile tugging at his lips. With his head bowed into his fourth edition of a rather intimidating neuroscience textbook that gave you anxiety just looking at it, the only way you could tell he wasn't annoyed by your antics at all was the dimpling of his cheeks. It distracted you momentarily, the urge to nibble at the fat there sudden and overwhelming, then your phone vibrated again because you'd been too distracted to silence it and you snatched it back up with an annoyed huff, ready to tell your employer off about disturbing your Sacred Saturday, your one day off a week. 

(Again.)

> I know what day it is but it's an emergency.

> I'll make it up to you.

< how so?

You chew your lip waiting for a response, the bubbling typing indicator roiling like your stomach. It's always like this, texting with John - every response teetering on too much. It's why you usually prefer to coordinate with the Laswells as much as possible, minimizing your discussions with Mr. Price to those late night 'Did you make it home okay?' messages. 

(And sending him a photo evidence that his shirt was still safe and in your care once.

If you'd been wearing it at the time, snuggled up in bed and haloed in warm fairy lights with the hem riding a little high, that was his fault for asking after it so late.)

Tap, tap, tap.

Across from you, Paul drums his pen off the spiral notebook that sits between you, a custom since your third week sitting together. It's blank aside from your brief, handwritten conversations as far as you can tell, an accessory Paul seems to carry around for this express purpose, evidently preferable to just asking for your number so you can text each other to get around the strict no talking policy in the quietest lounge of the library. In the year or so since you've met him, you've never heard Paul talk, all of your correspondences reduced to the notebook which he draws your attention to now, his tidy scrawl asking a simple but damning question: 'Who's the guy?'

You shake your head, instinctual - automatic. Paul crooks an unimpressed brow at you and underlines his original question. 

'Just some guy I work for, why?'

Paul smirks when he reads it but turns serious in response, waving at your overall demeanor as if that answers everything.

In your palm, your phone gives a muted buzz and you have to physically swallow back the urge to check it immediately. You roll your eyes at Paul instead. A poor excuse for the frustration you want to unleash, but opening the valve even a hair was better than just letting it build.

His scrawl is neat when Paul responds. Unaffected, calm. 'You've got a crush.' And then below that, its own paragraph: 'Should I be worried?'

It takes a moment for the words to register, the moment dragging out too long before your eyes dart up to your deskmate. Paul winks, scheming and sly, and your jaw hinges open in shock.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

"Shit," you hiss, scrambling out of your seat as your phone continues to vibrate with an incoming call. John's contact lights the screen, the stupid money bag emoji you'd used for him mocking you. You wait until you make it to the stairwell to answer to avoid the worst of the librarian's wrath, though she still shoots you a disapproving glare as you stalk past her post. You've half a mind to let the stairwell door slam behind you, but it would echo louder than your anger and you want John to hear every word when you accept the call.

"I am at the library," you hiss by way of greeting, as if that perfectly illustrates why you're so annoyed with him.

John just grunts, uninterested. "Are you available or not tonight? I need an answer ASAP so I can make plans if you're -."

"I'm off on Saturdays."

A beat passes as John recollects, evidently unused to being interrupted. "Right. Which is why I offered to pay you double your regular rate."

Confused, you check your texts to read the one you'd missed, too busy being chatted up by a cute boy much more appropriately aged. In it, John pleads desperately with you: offers twice your pay, dinner, anything you want.

You think of Paul's cute dimples, the way he's known you for a year without asking for your number. You think of John covered in shaving cream, his first words to you a joke about how desperate you looked - how desperate you both looked.

Hand pressed to your forehead, you shut your eyes and ask what time John needs you.

"Oh, thank you so much, sweetheart. A real lifesaver. I promise I'll make it up to you, just tell me how, okay? And as for tonight, no later than seventeen hundred, please - though honestly you can come by anytime, I'm sure Emily will be happy to see you."

Emily. Right. "Well I'm at the library for a reason, so -."

"You can use my study, of course. The munchkin knows better than to bug me when I'm in there."

Unbidden, you imagine pestering John yourself when he's lounged in some fancy modern desk chair, leather and broad. You bet his study smells like tobacco, that there's a bar cart in the corner. You imagine him using your mouth like a tumbler of whiskey, punishment for running it too much. He'd drink from your lips whenever he -.

"But I suppose I don't have all those useful resources like textbooks… well, consider it a standing offer."

"S-sure, Mr. Price. Thanks."

"Of course. I'll see you later, then?"

"Yes, sir."

On the other end of the line, John's breath stutters. His voice is low when he signs off, blunt and direct. Doesn't wait to hear your response. "Be good, sweetheart."

***

You're not entirely sure what being good constitutes, but you're fairly sure using John's emergency credit card Emily located for you in the freezer to Instacart approximately one day's minimum wage worth of junk food because Emily had been sad and despondent all day wasn't it. Nor was letting her dance her sugar rush off to less than appropriate music, probably, but it was worth it to see her smiling again after the fit she'd thrown when her father had left for the evening. You're both sweaty and breathless now, collapsing onto the couch between songs to shovel more M&Ms into your mouths and make fun of each other's dance moves. Emily says you use too much arm movements, but she's only four and thinks hopscotch skips are the new craze so you ask what she knows anyway and laugh at the way she rolls her eyes at you.

John's talkative too, apparently, the unexpected clients he'd been urgently called in to entertain evidently not holding his attention. He's never exactly radio silent when you've got his kid in your charge, but he usually lets you take the lead (pepper him with stupid questions you already know the answer to just to find an excuse to distract him because maybe you kinda like how short he gets) on those nights.

(Despite this standard, you don't feel the need to tell him you'd managed to read his credit card number through the brick of crystalline ice he'd cleverly hidden it in. You hope he's really short when he figures that stunt out.)

Tonight, however, it's John peppering you with questions. They start out innocent enough, asking after his daughter because he felt bad leaving her on a night that he'd promised to be home and he could see how much it upset her. Those questions peter out when you send him a picture of her all giggly and wound up, her hair freshly braided in a style she said he's too clumsy to accomplish for her. With confirmation that his daughter was feeling better, John's texts turn rapidly back to you.

> And how about you, sweetheart? Are you doing better?

< wym, better?

> What do you mean, wym?

< har har

> I mean you were rather short with me earlier. Are you still upset with me?

> I promise I also don't want to be working on a Saturday, for what it's worth.

< not mad

< just seems like you're not really needed with how much you're blowing up my phone

> Honestly, no. This is a waste of both our time.

> Have you decided how I can make it up to you, at least?

Actually, you hadn't even thought of it, figuring he was just being exaggerative - that he'd pay you your exorbitant rate and be done with it, send you on your way with your thoughts all twisted after some more growled insinuations and a pat on your ass, probably. He seemed like he was maybe two visits away from trying his luck, anyway.

Maybe you could ask for it sooner. Clear the air, finally feel his hands on you. You tell him you don't want anything, clarify nothing he can give you when he calls that out for being a lie.

> Sure about that? I can help with most things.

And the thing is, he's right. There are a lot of things you want. You want to get a better grade on your next econ assignment, you want a full night's sleep. You want to have free time, pick up a hobby. You have a growing desire to learn how to make the perfect pasta after seeing her scarf so many lackluster take out spaghetti bolognaise dishes. The solution was obvious, though one you knew he wouldn't want to hear.

< okay. i want more free time

> So quit with the Laswells.

It draws you up short, Emily bouncing around you unawares. It's one thing to suspect John's - your - end game, but another thing to see it batted around so casually. It makes you feel taken advantage of, guided in a way you don't necessarily appreciate. The Laswells were your first real, well-paying gig, your ticket to independence. You didn't relish the thought of abandoning them and you certainly didn't like to be coerced into the decision. 

But John did pay very well.

< just like that?

John's answer is far too quick, the status changing directly from read to answered with a speed that suggested he may have had a response drafted already which he simply copy/pasted. 

> It would make the most sense. I can pay well enough to make up for the lost income, plus my schedule works better with your classes. 

> Honestly, I'm surprised you even lasted as long as you did with them.

< i wouldn't want to let them down…

> Nonsense, I'm sure they'd understand. You're a busy girl with a full schedule, afterall.

So were they - the whole reason you'd been working for them so long. 

< i don't think i could quit on them. kate scares me.

> I'll take care of Kate, okay? No need to worry. I owe you one anyway, remember?

>Just let Daddy handle it.

It takes you a minute, the words somehow too natural to trip you up. Before you, Emily screeches happily about some cartoon that's maybe a touch too old for her and you think to yourself that she's going to sleep good tonight, all tuckered out as you know she's going to be and then you nearly drop your phone in your rush to chastise him, or run your mouth like you always do, or maybe double down on your request.

But the words don't come. Every time you manage to string two whole thoughts together it peters out, the textual manifestation of the gaping anime gasp he's managed to draw from you as you imagine him watching your typing bubbles appear and fizzle over and over again. If he's watching, of course, but he's a busy man so maybe -.

This time when your phone buzzes, there's no threat of a scolding librarian to keep your yelp suppressed. Just the odd look Emily shoots you before being distracted by her brightly colored show again, turning away from you disinterestedly as you excuse yourself to the kitchen.

"Mr. Price?"

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"S- sorry?"

His voice is calmer when he repeats himself, the same tone he uses on his daughter when she's too fidgety to listen. "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

And that answer is easy because the flutter in your tummy you get whenever his words grow a little too overt is not discomfort, so the answer comes easily, if quietly. "No."

"Do you want me to stop?"

Through the fog of your fluster, you remember Paul and his glacial pace, the cat calls from boys you've never met before and have no interest in. This is different. This is good. "No."

The breath John lets out doesn't sound like he's been holding it, more a pleased sigh than anything, accompanied by a low hum. "Good girl. Appreciate you telling me. Is this something you want?"

"I just said -?"

"Not wanting me to stop and wanting something to follow through to its logical conclusion are not the same things. Is this something you want?"

The question grates - the notion that he would think of this all as a waste of time if you didn't know you wanted him, maybe. "Hadn't thought about it. You only just -," You counter vehemently, but John just laughs, a heavy burst of breath through his nose. It catches in his mustache - wind cutting through the grass.

"If I were to come home tonight to find you sleeping on my couch and decided to wake you up all sweetly and softly, would that be alright?"

You picture yourself sleep-soft and pliant, heavy hands soothing over your flank as John's rough voice coaxes you awake. "Yes," you breathe.

He hums approvingly. "And if I were to wake you with my tongue in your cunt, would that be too much?"

"John -!" you hiss, scandalized.

"Try again."

A beat passes where you try to smother the pit of nerves in your stomach. "Mr. Price."

"Better. Answer the question, sweetheart."

"Mr. Price, I -." You huff a breath, take advantage of the fact he can't see you to visibly straighten your spine, steel yourself. "Mr. Price, what do you want?"

He doesn't miss a beat. "Easy. I've wanted to bend you over every available surface since you first barged into my bathroom and hinged yourself over that sink."

"I didn't."

"I want to keep that clever little mouth of yours quiet by stuffing it full of my cock. But I also want to hear you complain about what a brat my daughter's been all night because you're cute when you're mad. I want to come home and know what the two of you grabbed for dinner by licking it off your teeth." He pauses to give you an opening, notes your silence, and continues in a much softer voice. "And I want you to be able to focus on school a little better."

You can't manage anything better than a soft oh, and John's responding laugh is a low rumble, voice deceptively soft when he continues - the same voice he uses on Emily when she's too tired to behave properly. You wonder if his colleagues can hear him again, wonder if that's just how he's going to speak to you regardless.

"The question, sweetheart."

"I would like that, Mr. Price."

John's silent in the beat that passes, a hinge creaking open spilling ambient chatter in the background. He'd been sequestered, which means that last tone was only meant for you. "I'll see you tonight, kiddo. Behave for Daddy, yeah?"

[mister-mickey]

HALLOWEEN HEADCANONS (modern au) (Tw- drinking)

Darry

- wasn’t going to dress up because he was focused on other things, but pony and soda convinced him to dress up as Superman and he really enjoyed it

- he spent the early parts of the night handing out popcorn balls to trick or treaters, but later on he went to a Halloween party with Tim and Twobit

- At the party he got super drunk and ate a bunch of peach rings. Tim had to drag him home (which was insanely difficult for many reasons)

Soda

- dressed up as a cowboy, he actually took a long time getting his costume how he wanted it. He def goes all out for Halloween

- he helped Darry with the trick or treaters, but left early to go to a different party with Steve

- At HIS party, he didn’t really get drunk, but he had the time of his life babysitting Steve. At some point, Steve passed out and soda just sat next to him in the floor and ate chocolate and drank punch

Pony

- he wasn’t going to go all out, but soda wanted him to. So pony ended up dressed as a werewolf

- he and johnny went around town looking at peoples costumes and giggling. Later in the night, they got scared by Dallas who chased them through a field with a knife

- when Dallas was done harassing them, he gave them the candy he stole from some kids and disappeared into the night, pony and Johnny went home and watched scary movies with their new candy

Johnny

- Johnny dresses up as the same thing every year: himself. However, this year soda got out some fake blood and made him a little greaser vampire, and Johnny was giddy

- he hung out with pony most of the night, not trick or treating because they both felt too old, but just soaking everything in. Dallas chased after them with a knife, which was scary but he gave them candy so Johnny forgave him.

- all in all, it was a great Halloween for Johnny! He ate chocolate and watched Carrie with his bff and he’d do it all again

Dallas

- you might think he isn’t the type to dress up, but you would be wrong. He’s the type that LOVES to buy a cheap ghostface costume and scare girls, and that’s what he did

- he chased many, many, MANY people, ending with Johnny and pony because he couldn’t resist. He went to a few parties, but they weren’t wild enough for his tastes. He made fun of Tim while Tim was trying to drag Darry home, but regretted it when twobit tackled him

- he spent the rest of the night at the Curtis house eating candy and drawing on everyone that fell asleep

Twobit

- he took his sister trick or treating dressed as a wolf (she was little red riding hood) and guilt tripped many houses into giving him candy as well

- he got Tim and Darry to come to a Halloween party with him and they had a good time until he and darry got too drunk for their own good. Tim (also drunk) was roped into being the babysitter. When dally joined the group, twobit decided he deserved to get tackled

- when tim finally got them both at Darry’s house, twobit immediately started in on his Halloween candy and ended up getting incredibly sick. He passed out sometime after three am

Steve

- he did NOT want to dress up but soda made him and Steve ended up as a a bottle of mustard (soda was going to be the ketchup but he forgot so Steve is just mustard by himself). Steve came to the Curtis house to pick him up for the party and they had a blast!!!

- soda didn’t drink, but Steve did. He ended the night with his head in sodas lap while soda ran his fingers through his hair (Steve was too dizzy to stand)

- eventually, Steve woke up in sodas bed with him, both of them still in their Halloween costumes. Steve went straight back to sleep with a smile on his face

Tim

- Tim is the one that REFUSES to ever dress up. The last time he dressed up he was like seven (he was a pirate). He hasn’t trick or treated since then either because he thinks he’s too old for it.

- he made sure curly and Angela had plans for the night and then left to go to a party with Twobit and Darry. He proceeded to get absolutely shitfaced and was having a great time. Until he and his bros didn’t really want to stay any longer, then he realized that navigating a party (with two guys taller and heavier than you, and drunk) while you’re drunk is… difficult. He managed to get them outside when Dallas started making fun of him. They all ended so going to Darry’s house

- Tim passed tf out and woke up on the kitchen floor with a marker mustache

Angela

- she dressed up as an angel (obviously) and went to a party with her friends. She lied to Tim about it because he didn’t want her going to any parties.

- she was having a good time until she saw Tim at the party. Even if he was totally wasted, she was NOT sticking around and snuck away. She got home and hung out with curly

- her and curly ate candy and watched children of the corn

Curly

- he dressed up as Batman because I like to headcanon that he really likes Batman. He didn’t trick or treat, he mostly just harassed little kids all night. He egged dallys car and decided the night was over when he almost got run over

- he went home, poured his candy out on the coffee table, and ate it while watching tv. It wasn’t until Angela got home that they put something in to watch together. Curly have never seen children of the corn, but he was freaked out fs

- he woke up warm and cozy on the couch with Angela

[space-invading-pigeon]

Everyone jokes about Steve being the babysitter or the mom friend, but no one actually appreciates everything he does until he gets sick. Steve is the epitome of a doting parent; sure, he's only twenty and the seven kids he's adopted aren't actually his in any legal way, but those kids are his pride and fucking joy. Anyone who sees Steve with those kids can tell that he loves them deeply, which is why Steve is the only person in the Party that can convince their parents to allow anything- their parents KNOW that their kids will not only be well looked after, but they'll be genuinely enjoying themselves too.

Because he's a single mom except he's actually just barely out of his teenage years with no kids, he gets a lot of shit from everyone about it; he's known almost exclusively to the Party as Mama Steve (when he isn't in earshot of course). That's all fine by Steve, he always wanted a big family and now he has it. The problems start to appear when the Party realizes that Steve Harrington flat out ignores his own needs until they're so pressing that he's physically unable to do anything.

It all starts when Robin is told by Keith, of all people, that Steve has called in sick. Robin, of course, panics and calls him, and when he doesn't answer she calls Eddie to check on him. He and Steve had gotten closer since spring break, so it wasn't unusual for a member of the party to call either Eddie or Steve to check in on the other.

Eddie checks in to find Steve Harrington, badass warrior prince incarnate, sobbing from a blanket mountain on the couch in his living room. No one has ever actually seen Steve cry before, so Eddie freaks out, but it's just the result of a high fever and watching Old Yeller by himself. After calming the sick man, Eddie managed to coax some medicine into him and call Family Video to let Robin know that, yes, Steve is alive and no, he wasn't going to die of fever, but he only manages to get Steve to sleep by reading to him (Eddie finds it disgustingly adorable, even more so later when Nancy mentions that Steve loves stories but struggles with what he calls "moving letters"). And for the next two weeks, Steve is down for the count. Joyce and Claudia Henderson take turns making sure Steve is alright (Joyce because Steve is one of Her Kids, and Claudia because Steve is the Older Son she never had) while Eddie, Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin all try to take his place.

By the end of the first day, Nancy calls it quits: Mike is a bullheaded terror who only ever seems to like Will, El, or Eddie, and even then he doesn't always listen to them, so the Wheeler siblings fight even more ferociously than usual. She can't get El or Erica to listen, either; Erica is a force to be reckoned with, and El will only nod passively before doing what she wants anyway. By the end of day three, Jonathan is out. He won't say what happened, but he told Max to be nicer to the Party one time and, ten minutes later, he was tearfully saying that the kids were little monsters.

Robin lasts longer, almost an entire week, by chattering at the kids until they give up and listen to her. She meets her match when Dustin and Erica try to commandeer the Family Video computer again: Dusting sneaks past and almost breaks the computer just trying to get to it while Erica does Erica and argues until Robin the Rambler runs out of words. The morning of day seven is very dark for her.

Eddie, through what he believes to be the universe's acknowledgement of the depth of his affection for Steve and also sheer force of will, lasts the whole two weeks, but just barely. Mike argues over everything, no matter what; Will is skittish at the best of times and disappears constantly (thankfully, not like his Upside Down episodes - the boy just can't stop getting distracted and wandering away from the group), only to reappear directly behind Eddie and scaring him into an early grave; Lucas gets frustrated easily and can never seem to find the right words to communicate his thoughts and feelings, so he snarks and lashes out before awkwardly trying to mend the situation; Erica is so completely herself that it can be dizzying when the full force of that hurricane is directed towards Eddie; Dustin practically follows Eddie around like a little duckling, demanding updates on Steve or ranting about one of his many interests; El spends most of her time with the Party learning about how girls her age act through Max or practicing her braiding on Eddie. The worst of them all, though, is Max. Despite having healed up, she's still in physical therapy to rebuild her muscle strength and dexterity, and her eyesight is bad enough now that there's talk of her getting a service animal. It isn't that she needs a little extra attention that makes her the worst, though: it's that somehow, she still chases the most mischief. Eddie has only narrowly managed to keep her from assaulting no less that nine people in the two weeks that Steve is sick, and he knows she's definitely tried to commit arson at least twice that often.

Finally, after two weeks, Steve feels better enough to return to his usual activity, and Eddie begs him to never get sick again.

[stevie-petey]

we thought love was something (we weren't meant to find)

﹂ season two of "come home"

as you approach a year since will's disappearance, things seem to be back to how they were. you still have jonathan and the boys, hawkins is boring again, and you and steve harrington aren't really friends. you convince yourself that it's fine, but time can't heal all wounds, and you sure as hell have your fair share of them. when will starts having episodes and your brother hides a literal monster from you, junior year becomes a lot more painful than it already was. (and because you can never win, steve gets dragged into it). (more complicated feelings arise). (as usual).

episode one: MADMAX - what does steve fear more ? you or the plague ? currently it's you, some guy with an awful mullet stares you down in the parking lot (gross), nancy invites you to a party from your nightmares, and you become an official unlicensed therapist for will. yay for junior year !

episode two: trick or treat, freak - you and nancy have a bonding session in the library (kinda hot tbh), billy gives jonathan and steve a common cause to unite on: Protect Y/N, you're a chauffeur to a very sad steve harrington, and dustin uses will's trauma to his advantage.

episode three: the pollywog - you lecture jonathan about daddy issues and then have an intellectual debate about healthy relationships, you play Mr. Love Dr with Steve, nancy and jonathan go on a sick side quest (and actually inform you this time !), meanwhile: you're about to put a leash on your damn brother.

episode four: will the wise - jonathan is gone for one day and suddenly all hell breaks loose, your hesitant friendship with steve is already rocky (thanks billy) but steve is hot when he's angry tbh, you become a couple's counselor to lucas and max (sorry dustin), and you're now officially the world's worst cat owner ever. and babysitter. but what else is new ?

episode five: dig dug - you and dustin bury a body and con your mother into fleeing town, great sibling bonding time ! you play hockey with a monster, dustin gets ghosted by his friends, and now it's your turn to kidnap steve (technically dustin does, but you don't stop him) who later gives you some terrifying realizations.

episode six: the spy - dustin and steve haggle a butcher, you throw some meat at steve and then have a weird conversation about love, you stop dustin from becoming an incel, and then you wrestle some demodogs like any real woman would. side note: steve is hot protecting the kids.

episode seven: the mind flayer - jonathan is back and has a lot of questions and you have even more for him, the gang gets back together and ties will to a chair, you tell the kid a story to distract him from his demons, steve is a confused mess but at least youre with him, and someone makes a surprise appearance (her name rhymes with shell).

episode eight: the gate - you encourage nancy to take your place (everyone is shocked), you and steve are the newest babysitters in town, billy ruins things as always, tunnels are weird when youre concussed, you remind jonathan of an old promise, and when the snowball comes you make your own promise with steve that you know you can keep.

⌑ set between seasons 2 and 3

﹂ episode nine: the fall - surprise ! life still carries on even with minor brain damage from constant concussions :( on the bright side, you and the gang all become homies. meanwhile, steve grapples with the warm fuzzies and parental issues before his worst nightmare happens: you meet robin. the horrors !

⌑ status: FINISHED

⌑ season two title based on this song x

⌑ blurbs set within "come home" can be found here x

⌑ “come home” season masterlist

*note: this is a part of my stranger things rewrite, “come home”, and other seasons can be found linked above :)

[elaemae]

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

Twst x Obey me!AFAB!reader

(Reader is Ob's MC)

CW:

•NO APPEARANCE SPECIFIED FOR READER.

•Poly.

•Cursing.

•Reader is referred to as "you" or they/them and even "he/him" because NRC boys refer to any living humanoid in the school as a male by default.

•Crowley.

•It's my first time writing a fanfiction, pls tell me if I should continue writing this.

(Random pic go brr—)

What will happen when a perpetually hungry-for-cuddles and tired-of-this-shit hooman gets kidnapped by a motherfucking horse and decides (kinda? Yeah nope. This wasn't by choice.) to enroll in a school full of problematic kids and their irresponsible af headmage?

Chaos. Pure and utter chaos with a lot of high-end simping in the mix (Along with the slightly unhinged urge to commit arson and burn a bitch to crisp)

So read as [y/n] tries to run away from the school-life while trying to just get back to their goddamn harem family (God saw this thought and decided that giving y/n more harem members is the appropriate course of action), all while juggling the harsh responsibilities of being a guardian, babysitter, therapist, healer, protector, local crush and celebrity for poor Yuu and the entirety of NRC.

("Pls send help" — y/n)

• • • • •

Disclaimer: You may have been kidnapped to a whole 'nother world and you may be on the verge of a mental breakdown, but you're sure as hell gonna look hot and serve cunt while you go through all your problems.

Prologue: 1

IMPORTANT: Mc will be referred to as they/them in this story, but in these beginning chapters a lot of people will refer to mc as a dude because y'know; NRC is an ALL BOYS school and nrc students came to expect that those in the school are all boys.(this'll change dw)

In order to avoid confusion, every time that the MC is addressed by others as he/him or more; I will color it blue. why blue? I find it easier to read.

Sample; 'He turned to them.'

The "He" in this passage is referring to MC because the character referring to them thinks that they're a guy.

REMINDER: This is Fanfiction! Not everything will be the same as canon because of this thing called the 'butterfly effect'.

• • • •

The Dorm Leaders + lilia were just about to call this Opening Ceremony over.

So close to getting out of this hall and finally being able to go on their merry ways to escort the new students back to their respective dorms before the hectic-ness of preparing for hours starts to catch up to them.

Though, things are never quite that easy in NRC.

A commotion with the students quite far from them leaves the majority of them annoyed/disgruntled. (Kalim is just confused and curious)

The headmaster rushes to check what was wrong only for a student to point out that there is an unopened coffin floating in a shadowy part of the hall.

Armed with the desire to get this shit over with and to avoid embarrassment from missing a coffin when he was going around opening them and also, with Yuu waiting near the mirror, the headmaster opens the coffin to wake the new student inside.

The dorm leaders walked closer to be able to quickly usher the new student to the dark mirror only to notice that the headmaster froze up.

"...Headmaster? Are you alright?" Azul "Boutta-do-sumthin-devious" Ashengrotto asked with faux concern.

"Ah– Ah yes! I'm alright Mr. Ashengrotto."

Crowley the bitch cleared his throat and reached inside the coffin to wake the student up.

"Hmm..."

The dorm leaders subconsciously or not, peaked inside the coffin before getting gobsmacked by the sleeping student.

Sure, the student looked quite cute ("New potential apple locked in" — Vil.) even with half of his face obstructed but what really drew their attention were the jewelries that he was wearing.

Three luxurious looking earrings on each of his ears, all unique from each other, all with a respective color and design except for that one earring with two gemstones connected to it, orange and indigo. Seven gems, six earrings

An ornament on his forehead that looks to be a combination of a circlet and a Ferronnière made from gold, with intricate black bat-like wings surrounding the red gemstone in the middle.

And that's just the jewelry on his head.

There's also the sleek black choker with a golden sheen on his neck with a teal gemstone surrounded by small diamonds hanging in the middle.

They don't know if this guy has anymore but the jewels they can see for now is more than enough for them to make the deduction that this student has some alot of money on his hands.

No wonder the Headmaster froze up.

Azul subconsciously starts fixing up his appearance when he starts to wake up, wanting to make a good impression on a potential, rich victim client.

• • • •

"Mmh... What the hell.. Why is the bed so hard.."

You mumbled as you stirred, feeling someone lightly shaking you awake.

You opened your eyes, expecting maybe the brothers, solomon, dia, barbs, simeon or luke but you were instead met with a face obscured by a dark bird mask.

"..."

"..."

"You have two seconds to unhand me before you lose your hands." or your life. Depends on who I can summon first.

You made your voice as cold and unwelcoming as possible as the man with the bird mask squawked and backed away a bit in shock.

"H– How rude..! I'll have you know that I was only–"

"Where am I?"

You cut off the weird looking bird-man as you scanned your surroundings and moved to come out of the coffin why were you in a coffin? you were in, in fear of it closing and locking you inside.

You glance warily to the bird-man while keeping an eye on the huge number of robed individuals that you can see. are you in a cult? Damnit, did one of the Brothers' crazy cults decide to kidnap you out of jealousy again??

Especially the seven (reminder that lilia is there with the Housewardens) closest to you and bird-dude.

Some solomon-kinnie motherfucker is currently eyeing you down like he's about to sell your kidneys to the black market or something.. Hmm... Your fight or flight instincts are telling you to sell HIS kidneys instead.

*Ehem*

Burd-dude cleared his throat and addresses you.

"It seems that the teleportation magic has left you disoriented... No matter, I can forgive your offense of trying to threaten me for I am gracious!"

He then looked weirdly like a combination of preening peacock and a proud chicken.

"I repeat. Where in the unholy trinity of the three realms, am I?"

Now that raised a few eyebrows.

You feel for the necklace under your clothes that Thirteen gave you, filing the question of why you're also wearing the same robe as these people away, in your head.

While the guy that you now dub-thee as "bird-bitch" started gawking at you and going on a tangent of being disrespectful, you scan the big hall/room you're in looking for ways to escape.

• • • •

Hmm... This new student seems to be a knowledgeable individual.

Lilia kept his gaze on the student, studying how he took on a defensive stance the moment he got out of the coffin.

They need to calm this student quickly before something happens.

The student seems to be confused on why he's here and is looking for a way to get out.

If the way his eyes moved around the room in quick succession is any indicator.

Not the first time that something like this happens but add in the magicless student's appearance, he gets the feeling that something strange will occur once again.

Seeing him take out and grasp the palm-sized gemstone of a whole 'nother necklace hidden under his robe how many trinkets does this boy have??, Lilia got ready to jump in the fray should something happen.

There's a possibility that the student can use that necklace as a weapon if that was what he chose to hold in this situation and not his other shiny ornaments.

Lilia was proven right when the necklace and the gemstone glowed and formed into a fancy-looking staff that the student quickly pointed towards Crowley.

He looked at the dorm leaders around him to see if any of them will do something.

...

yeah no. If anything, they look like they're watching an amusing show. Especially Schoenheit and Kingscholar..

Though it seems more like Riddle is still assessing the situation before he brings out his infamous collar.

Haahh.. Youngsters these days..

Chapter list | → PROLOGUE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Elae: Sorry if my grammar is off, English isn't my first language.

Btw, Thanks for reading this far! Hope you enjoyed it😊

Srry if my format is also off, I've only been using tumblr for a few days now...

MOST IMPORTANTLY; Should I continue reading this fanfic? I wanna know if people still read Obey mexTwst stories here...

[nathaslosthershit]

A Big Decision (Teen Dad!Oscar AU)

(Part 8 of Teen Dad!OP au [Can be read on its own])

Summary: It is time to pop the big question

The twins had finally gone down for a nap after spending so long fighting it. The kids, at age three, have started to fight them more and more, leading their parents to start discussing if it's time for naps to stop. Honey, being a stay at home mom, had needed the nap time as much as her kids had in the past, giving her time to catch up on chores or just rest for a little, so she was really trying to get as much time as she could with it. But maybe it truly was over.

She was surprised to see Oscar pacing in their living room once she went back downstairs.

“Well, aren't you home early?” She says as Oscar immediately wraps his arms around her, burying his head in her neck and kissing it.

“Missed you all, did what they needed from me extra fast so I could get home earlier. Thought we could maybe go out tonight?”

“Oscar, it's a friday night. Do you know how impossible getting a babysitter would be? The kids also take a while to warm up to babysitters, I don’t think it's a good idea.”

“Good thing I thought ahead then. Lando had a free night and has been begging to see them after the last ‘betrayal’ when they wore Sargeant hats. Even better, he said he would do it for free if it meant working towards being the favorite.”

“Oscar, you can’t get your coworkers to babysit your twin toddlers for free by dangling favoritism in their faces.”

“It was his idea! I am just capitalizing off of it. I got us a nice reservation too, we just need to let him now in the next…” Oscar checks his wrist where his watch usually rests but finds it missing, “uh now. So I need an answer quickly, are we going to stay home and eat the same leftovers we have had for the past two days, or are we going to make Lando Norris the happiest man alive by letting him watch our kids for free while we have an amazingly romantic dinner?” Oscar quickly asks as he takes his ex-fiancee, now girlfriend, in his arms.

“Fine, let's go out, we could use the night off. Let Lando know I appreciate him watching them for us.”

“Perfect, why don’t you go out, do something nice for yourself, I'll take over with the kids. We still have time before dinner tonight.” Oscar suggested in a strange tone as he kissed all surface area of her face.

“What is up with you today? I don’t mind it but you are so much more touchy.” She laughed.

“Don’t worry bout a thing.” Was all he replied as he walked away. “Tonight will be the best yet, I promise.”

That’s when it struck her, why he was being so weird. Surely, he was going to propose.

After the huge fight in Suzuka, she had called the engagement off, causing them to ignore each other’s existence unless it came to the kids, for seven weeks. Since they had gotten back together, life had been blissful. Sure, it was most likely the ‘honeymoon’ phase of their relationship, but even so, they had been so ready to marry each other before things started going downhill. Maybe days after they got back together isn’t the right time to get engaged, but they had been to hell and back together since they got pregnant at 18 years old, they were it for each other, always would be. 

Oscar taking off of racing had also been a blessing. It had been hard for him, certainly. But he had needed to learn how to put his family first again, a priority that got harder to keep up with since joining Formula 1. 

As she sat in the nail salon chair, getting what were hopefully her engagement nails done, she thought back to how far they’d come. 

Arriving home with her nails done, and after getting the most amazing massage, Honey was giddy as she greeted her, hopefully, soon to be fiancé. After an hour and a half of filling her head with wedding plans and thinking about their future when she would finally get to be Mrs. Piastri after 7 years, she was more excited then she was the first time he proposed. 

This excitement continued from the moment she stepped into the shower, till the moment she sat in her seat at the restaurant. Oscar had hired a driver for the night, saying it was a night all for them, no need to be careful of how many drinks they were going to have, he had also told her he had plans to take them to the beach after where they could finish the night with a picnic by the water and stay as late as they liked. 

There was one thing that was off about him though, while she had expected nerves, she had also expected excitement from him and soon noticed the more giggly she was, the more upset he seemed to be. Maybe he realized she had caught on?

She finally asked what was up after he spilt his drink.

“Seriously Osc, what is wrong with you? You claim this is such a nice night for just the two of us but you are a mess right now!”

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry I don’t know why I’m like th-”

“Bullshit. I thought I made it clear how awful of a liar you are Oscar Jack Piastri, just tell me. Please?”

Silence filled the air as he stared at her, words failing.

“I will get up if you don’t-”

“I had a meeting with higher ups at McLaren earlier today and was told if I don’t come back then I am out of the contract and I agreed to come back for the Spanish Grand Prix!” Oscar blurted out.

Again, a heavy silence landed on the couple, both of them daring the other one to speak first.

Then, without a single word, Honey got up from the table and walked to the car leaving Oscar at the table, tears starting to fall.

Part 2 out now!

[badasmuse]

“Homewrecker”

Bada Lee x Reader

Warnings: 18+ (MDNI), lowercase intended, language, cheater!bada, bottom!bada, bada is married to h*wl, bada has a daughter, top!reader, lonely bada, she also cries, appearance from itzy’s yuna

Summary: bada is lonely, you fix that.

Part 2 Here

you absolutely loved children. ever since you were fifteen when you started babysitting for your neighbor that’s when you knew. you actually wanted to start your own daycare but you wanted a degree so you decided to take a few online classes in early childhood education. but, going to college meant you need money for books and such so you never stopped babysitting. but your usual child’s father came back into her life making you jobless once again, so when you received a text from an unknown number stating she got your number from her friend you jumped with joy. and that’s how you started working for bada lee and her husband.

on your first day, you pull up to the extremely big house, you’re nervous. you keep thinking, what if i lose this kid in this big ass house.

there’s a tall woman and a slightly shorter male standing in the doorway holding a little girl. she looks about seven. you step out of the uber and approach the little family. “hi i’m y/n. i’m looking for ms. lee?”

“that’s me.” she steps out shaking your hand. “you can call me bada. this is my husband howl, not his real name but as a dancer it’s just what he goes by, and our daughter chaeyoung. come in.”

you follow the woman in and dude when i tell you this house is huge. you could probably fit three semi trailers stacked on top of each other in here. with the wheels still on and everything. you’re too busy admiring the house to hear what bada is saying.

“got that y/n?” is all you hear.

“huh? oh i’m… im sorry i was admiring your house i didn’t hear a thing. could you… repeat that?” you say shyly.

“oh no problem. this is a list of people you can call if you can’t get in touch with either of us. always try lusher first she’s my best friend she’ll always be able to get ahold of me. i’ll be out at the studio a lot this month because i’m choreographing a few comebacks and howl is getting ready to go to japan to teach some classes. i will be back around nine tonight. here’s chae’s bedtime routine. she’ll try to stay up past eight thirty, if she fights let her because she’ll fall asleep in the next five minutes. you can just lay a blanket over her on the couch and i’ll carry her to the room when i come back. is that too much at one time?” bada asks after literally vomiting a shit ton of information.

“no no i think i got it all. also, if you’re gonna be dancing, i don’t mind carrying her to her room. you’ll be tired and probably want to shower, i can handle it.” you say smiling.

“if you can i’d appreciate it. oh we have to go. chae you be good for y/n okay? i mean it.” bada says crouching in front of the girl who just nods in response before hugging her mother tight and hugging her father’s leg.

soon, it’s just you and her. boy did she give you a run for your money. you did lose her in the house while playing hide n seek. she made you play dress up with her. she took your phone and hid it, spilled apple juice everywhere, and even went into her parent’s room and took one of her mom’s lipsticks.

by now it’s eight thirty and she surprisingly went to bed without an issue, which you were grateful for because now you have to clean the mess in the kitchen and living room.

“hi i’m home.. y/n?” you hear bada say.

“kitchen!” you respond.

“what.. happened?”

“oh she spilled apple juice. this- here. she took this from your room. um, do you mind calling my phone?” you mumble.

bada sighs and goes into a room before coming out with your phone in hand. “i’m sorry she did this to the last babysitter, and the one before. if you don’t want to continue just let me know okay?” she says helping you clean the apple juice.

you look up at her and see the sweat dripping down her face, the tired look in her eyes. she’s obviously struggling. “what time should i be here tomorrow?”

her eyes light up and she smiles brightly. “um, same time okay? it’ll just be me and her, my husband will be gone early.”

“i’ll be here. go shower. i’ll finish up and make my way out of here.” you pick up the used paper towel, throwing it in the garbage.

thirty minutes later she emerges from the bathroom dressed in a new pair of sweats and a tank with her wet hair flowing down her back.

“i’ll get your uber home. can you put your address in here?”

*

now it’s been four months and man, the feelings you feel towards this woman are crazy.

“she’s just so.. fine, yuna.” you say to your best friend. “when she comes home from the studio and she’s dripping with sweat. you know how hard it is to not jump on her?”

yuna laughs, “isn’t she married?”

“yes but… come on. her husband is never really there. she’s always tired and probably sexually frustrated. i could fix that for her for real.” you say taking the drink from her.

“that’s mine.” she sighs, “well are you gonna go for it?”

“i don’t know, should i? what if i get fired?” you say.

“then you get fired. come on i’ll drop you off. it’s almost time.”

once you arrive at the house, you knock and wait, watching yuna pull off. bada opens the door and looks at you surprised. “y/n? what are you doing here?”

you blink, “it’s.. saturday?”

“oh! oh i’m so sorry. first come in.” she steps to the side, “i’m sorry, chaeyoung is with her grandmother for today. i thought i told you. probably forgot i was doing so much this morning. i feel so bad you probably ubered here, let me pay you for that and i’ll get you one back.”

“my friend dropped me off. i can ask her to come get me.” you say sending a quick text to yuna.

“well have you eaten? let me get you something.” she says.

“i’m okay i’m not hungry.” at least, not for food.

“well.. here’s a water bottle. i’m so sorry.”

“it’s okay bada. my schedule is open.” you look at the reply from yuna and sigh. “actually could you get the uber? my friend is busy, she won’t be able to come get me for at least an hour or so.. unless you don’t mind me waiting?”

“i don’t mind. i actually wanted to talk to you about chaeyoung.” she says sitting next to you.

“what is it?”

“i’m not too sure what you’re doing but.. she used to be terrible in school, behavior wise, and ever since you came along it’s changed. what are you doing with her? what can i do to make sure she doesn’t act that way once you get your degree and stop working for me?” bada sighs, leaning back on the couch.

“bada,” you turn your body to face her, “the issue with chae is you don’t give her enough attention. i know both you and howl work a lot. it happens. but she tells me all the time how she wishes at least you were here more often. she’s lonely. it’s only her and you stick her with a bunch of strangers. she told me she feels happy when i’m here because even tho i’m leaving, i still make her happy because i’m giving her the attention she craves.”

bada wipes a tear from her cheek, “i try. it’s just hard. i want to be here. then howl took that stupid job traveling to different countries like he doesn’t have a wife and child at home. i feel like i’ve been snapping at her which is why i sent her with her grandmother. i wanted to.. be with my husband and he’s not even here he went to america. i wanted to talk to him about this.”

you pull bada in for a hug and rub her back as she cries into your shoulder. “you’re doing the best you can, bada. you can’t be too hard on yourself. howl should’ve thought about that before he left. he needs to understand you need help.” you say softly.

bada pulls back and looks at you, “you really think i’m doing my best?”

“i do.”

there’s a tension filled silence as you look at each other. you don’t know what fueled you but you lean in and kiss her on her lips before pulling back quickly. “oh shit i’m sorry you’re married-“

she cuts you off with another kiss gripping your shirt. this one is a lot more desperate. “please…” she mumbles against your lips. “i need this please.. please don’t go.” she whines.

“your room.” you say and she stands up pulling you into the bedroom she shared with howl.

she pushes you on the bed and climbs on top of you finding your lips again as your hands trail under her shirt. you pull it off her and she whines.

“relax baby, i’ll make you feel good, just be patient.” you turn her on her back kissing her neck and down to her chest. lifting up her bra you attach to her nipple, sucking gently and she moans. you pinch the other one with your fingers and her hips buck up against you, looking for friction.

“keep your hips down.” you whisper, kissing down her stomach. you leave marks on her hip bones and she moans your name.

“y/n please… please i want you so bad!” she writhes on the bed.

you pull her shorts off and she’s not wearing anything under them. “made this easy for me huh? oh you’re so wet for me bada.” you run a finger over her clit and her leg jerks. you put her leg on your shoulder and make eye contact with her. “can i?”

“please y/n please do- OH!” she moans out when your tongue makes contact with her clit. her hands clutch the sheets as you suck on her clit, sticking two fingers in her.

her breath hitches and she lets out loud moans, “oh my god s-so good! please more!”

you insert another finger curling them up into her spot. she lets out a squeal. “why are you so good at this?” she moans, hands going to your hair as she fucks herself onto your fingers. “i’m cumming!”

you speed up your fingers, flicking your tongue skillfully and she cums with a scream, your name falling off her lips.

you pull your hand out giving her a minute to breathe. “you okay?” you run her lower stomach gently.

“i need… more. please? i have.. have toys in my sock drawer.” she pants.

you walk over to where she points and find a different array of toys. “oh you’re kinky.”

“please use whatever you want. make me your slut. please.” she whines.

you bite your lip, grabbing the dildo, a vibrator, and some handcuffs. “you mind?”

“oh please!” she moves her hands to the headboard, letting you cuff her to it. “i-i can eat you out while you fuck me. you can sit on my face.”

you shiver at the thought before stripping and doing what she wants. her tongue skillfully explores you and you question how she let a man trap her with a tongue like that? you lean forward and put the dildo in her, immediately thrusting it in and out of her while putting the vibrator on her swollen clit. she moans into you and pulls at the cuffs. you’re worried she might be uncomfortable so you lift up but she whines loudly. “i’m not finished!”

you sit back down, thrusting the toy faster and turning up the speed on the vibrator. you let out a moan trying not to grind on her face. you move when she starts to mumble something.

“what did you say baby?”

“use me. use me to get yourself off. make me your personal tuck toy.” she moans out.

you moan as you move back onto her face doing as she asks all while you fuck into her tight count with the dildo. you’re close and you know she’s close from the way her moans get higher. she latches onto your clit sucking roughly as you pound the dildo into her gspot and you’re both cumming with loud moans. you remove the toys and she squirts all over her bed. you get off her and rub her clit, helping her ride out her high.

“okay! okay i’m done i can't…i’m done please!” she moans pulling the cuffs.

“give me one more. let me make sure you’re 100% satisfied. you might not get it this good for a while.” you whisper.

she whimpers and cums one last time, her juices flow out of her and you caress her thigh gently.

“so good for me bada. did such a good job.” you uncuff her and she pulls you in for a kiss. you can taste yourself on her tongue.

“thank you.” she whispers. “i needed that. god i needed that.. tell your friend nevermind. stay with me.”

“what about your husband? and chae?” you ask.

“he’s gone for a week, chae will be back tomorrow night. after i take a nap i want to go again.” she groans, turning on her side.

grabbing your phone, you tell yuna to just bring your backpack that has your strap instead and you lay down next to bada. she immediately moves her head onto your chest and sighs, falling asleep.

that was a lot easier than you thought it would be.

[srjlvr]

,, Babysitting With A Stranger ‘‘

PAIRING . . . babysitter!Riki X babysitter!gnReader

GENRE . . . fluff , crack !

WC . . . 1.9k+ !

SYNOPSIS . . . oops! there was a mistake with your babysitter and now you’re stuck with another babysitter…how are you going to survive?

WARNINGS . . . mention of children (again im sorry TT) , mentions of food!

“so i’ll come around 5pm tomorrow” you held your phone close to your ear, waiting for an answer, “that’ll be great, thank you!” on the line was the mother of the children you’re about to babysit the other day.

“gladly, i’ll see you tomorrow!” you happily replied and hanged up.

it’s your fourth babysitting for this week so far, ever since you heard your favorite group is going on a tour, you’ve been determined to collect enough money to buy a ticket.

“i’ve got another one for tomorrow!” you said to your mom and she pat your head, “im proud of you for starting to work your ass off”

you woke up happily the other day, going to school as usual and rejecting any plans for the afternoon.

“let’s go karaoke today!! i feel like losing my voice today” your best friend requested. “sorry, can’t today, im babysitting” you replied.

“again? it’s like your fifth time this week” “fourth to be exact, but what can i do? i gotta get that ticket” you shrugged as she rolled her eyes.

school ended up faster than you expected, and it was already time for you to get mentally prepared for at least seven hours with two children.

you arrived at the house and knocked at the door, “Y/N? come in!” you heard the mother’s voice calling you in.

you opened the door and saw the mother sitting with her children on the ground, playing with them. “meet minho and minji!” she said and the kids cutely waved at you as you smiled at them.

“it’s nice to meet you! how old are you?” you asked them, “we’re six years old” they both answered, “i was born before you though” minji teased, “only by one minute!” minho said annoyingly.

“i think we’re about to enjoy the rest of the evening together!” you said excitedly.

“i will be back around 12am, of course i will be paying you as soon as i get back” the mother smiled and you nodded, “don’t worry, have fu-“ you were about to continue but a knock on the door interrupted you.

“that’s weird, i don’t expect anyone else” the parent said and opened the door.

“hello! i’m riki,” he said, “we’ve talked on the phone three days ago and we agreed i’ll babysit the kids today until 12am”

you stood there in shock as the mother froze, “oh i’m so sorry! i forgot i talked with you on the phone and i called y/n as well oh my god this is such a mess i don’t know what to say” she held her head down.

“it’s okay ma’am! i can go back and-“ you were about to continue but she cut you off, “no no! i’m sure you two had a long way here,” she sighed, “it’s a bit weird of me to request but, is it okay if you babysit together? i’ll pay you even double as an apology”

“it’s okay really-“ “please, let me do it” she pleaded.

you and riki both sighed and nodded, “great, thank you so much!” she smiled, “i really got to go now, thank you again”

before she closed the door she looked at her kids and blowed a kiss, “bye angels, i’ll give you a kiss when i get back!”

riki got inside the house as the kids’ mother left. “so umm, i’m riki” he introduced himself, “yeah i heard your introduction from before” you awkwardly replied.

“uhhh so um” he awkwardly coughed a bit and you zoned out, “right, um im-“ “y/n, i also heard her saying your name before” he chuckled and you nodded.

“can you two stop being so awkward and play with us?” the two kids, who were watching you two standing there like the other furnitures they have at home, dragged you and riki into their bedroom.

“that is where i sleep and that’s where minji sleeps” they both pointed at their beds and you both nodded.

“minji let’s take them to our play room” minho added and minji nodded.

“let’s pick one game and play!” they said and you all sat down to discuss which game you’re going to play.

“i say we should try monopoly! we can team up and play two against two” you suggested and they all nodded.

“then i want y/n in my team” minho said. “not fair! i wanted y/n to be in my team!” minji angrily scoffed, “but i said it first!” minho teased.

“i’m here too, hello hi” riki waved at minji, “i’m good at this game, i promise we’re going to win” he opened his arms for minji to hug him. minji looked at him weirdly but as she saw that he was not going to give up, she went up and hugged him, “you better be good at this game” she said, almost sounding like a threat.

“then let’s start to play!” you rolled the dice and the game started.

“we don’t have any money left!” riki finally called out after a long game, “the bank cant give you more money than you already took, sorry” you replied teasingly, “which means we win!” you high-fived minho and you both hugged each other.

“‘im good at this game’ you said” minji glared at riki, mimicking him from before, “i didn’t know they’re going to make a good team” he whispered back.

“look at the time! it’s already 8pm!! your mother told me you need to go sleep around 8:30pm” you said.

“did you shower yet?” riki asked and the kids nodded, “have you eaten anything?” you asked and the kids shook their heads.

“let’s make some dinner!” you and riki both said and went to the kitchen.

“their mother told me they usually eat scrambled eggs and a salad before they go to sleep, let’s just do that” you smiled at riki, “i’ll make the salad” he replied.

after something like fifteen minutes, you sat the kids down at the table, and served them the food you made, “eat well, don’t fall asleep on the food” riki smiled at the kids as you both watched them starting to eat.

after a few minor fights and jokes, the kids finally finished eating and it was time to put them into sleep.

“good night!” you and riki said. “riki! can you read us cinderella?” minho requested before you could close the door. you and riki shared a few seconds of and awkward eye contact until he broke it with a sigh, “of course!”

as riki got back inside their room, you started cleaning the kitchen from all the mess they created.

riki got out of the room just when you finished your cleaning, then you both flopped on the big sofa. “it’s been a tiring day” you said. “yeah” he shortly replied and it went back to silence.

“so,” riki started talking, “why did you start babysitting?”

“it might sound funny, but i’m actually collecting money to buy a ticket for a concert of my favorite group” you replied, “how about you?”

“the same reason as you actually” you then popped your head up to see his face to look if he’s serious or not, “what group are you planning to go to?” he added.

“wait let’s say the name on the same time” you both sat up and looked deeply into each other.

“one”

“two”

“three”

“(name of your fav group)!” you both said at the same time. “no way” you said.

“you know them?” he replied shockingly, “they’re like my favorite group”

“you’re lying” you said jokingly, “how much money did you save so far?”

“i have around 200$” he replied, “no way me too!” you cheered.

“what should we do while the kids are sleeping?” he asked and you smirked, “i think you know what i’m about to say”

you both spent a whole hour playing your favorite group’s songs and dancing like there’s no tomorrow. even though he was a complete stranger a few hours ago, you felt the most comfortable around him than you’ve ever felt, and it was the exact same feeling for him.

after a tiring dancing session, you and riki flopped on the sofa again, breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath. “i’m kinda hungry” you said and riki nodded in agreement.

as soon as you said that, riki got a notification, he opened his phone and read the text, “i left you and y/n some extra money if you’d like to buy yourself something to eat :) these kids are tiring so i bet you two are hungry”

“is that…” “the kid’s mom? yeah”

“damn those rich people” you both said at the same time and giggled. you decided to order pizza, it wasn’t too expensive but it’s more than enough for you both.

“y/n look! they have nintendo!” riki pointed out, “are you sure we should play in it? i dont want to touch anything that isn’t ours” you replied.

just then, riki got another notification, “p.s, dont be afraid to touch anything around the house, i know how boring it can be when the kids are sleeping ;)”

“she’s so nice i want her to adopt me” you said. “let’s play mario cart, im not better than you in monopoly, but i bet i can win in mario cart” riki said teasingly.

you nodded and grabbed the remotes, “let the games begin” you gave one of the remotes to riki and you started playing.

“so now we’re even” riki smirked, after something like five rounds, you realized you’re not going to win over him and gave up super fast. “yeah yeah i guess so, next time i’m gonna win though!”

“you think there will be next time…?” he asked. “uh well-“ you were about to continue until you heard a sound of keys outside of the door. you and riki turned off the tv and waited for the person to come in.

“hello!” the mother appeared behind the door with a huge smile on her face. “hey!” you and riki greeted her back.

“i’m so sorry again for the huge mistake! how was babysitting my little angels?” she asked, “it was great, we enjoyed doing it together as well” you both said, “your kids are the cutest!” you added.

“thank you! here’s the promised money” she held out the money for you two and you took it. “thank you so much! hope you have a wonderful night!” you and riki bid goodbye to the lady.

“that was fun” you said as you walked out of the door with riki. “it was” he replied, smiling.

“so i was thinking,” you both said at the same time, “you first” you said.

“um so i was thinking,” he said and stopped for a second to take a deep breath, “maybe i’ll be able to get your number and we could go to the concert together?” he asked, “consider it as a first date” he added.

“i would love to” you smiled at him and handed him your phone.

he put his number in your phone and gave it back to you, “hopefully i’ll get to babysit with you again,” he chuckled, “before the concert i mean”

you nodded and smiled, “that would be nice”

as you both exit the building, each one of you had to go to the other side, but not before you gave each other a short hug.

“i’ll contact you as soon as i get home” you said and he nodded. as soon as you let go from the hug, you gave him a peck on his cheek and ran away, leaving him all blushing.

you smiled to yourself, who would’ve thought that babysitting with a stranger wouldn’t be so bad after all?

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

[quitealotofsodapop]

So in your Tiger Monk AU how many kittens does Sanzang end up having?

Was it an easy birth or were there complications?

How many sons and/or daughters?

What are their names?

Do any of his cat suitors (particularly Azure) try to court him by showing him that they can get along with and take care of his kittens?

Only to met with the kittens’ claws and Sanzang’s hissing (and that’s just when the other pilgrims aren’t around 🤣)

Do any of the demons that still try to eat Sanzang go after the kittens, thinking their flesh and blood will have the same effect as their baba’s (mama?) ?

And which of the pilgrims (and Macaque) ends up being the kittens’ favorite babysitter?

Prev.

While it would hilarious to torment our dear Monk with a large litter (Tigers sometimes get up to seven kittens/cubs at a time), odds are he ends up with the average 2-4 kittens.

Tripitaka takes to the "mother/mama" title more readily than the male counterparts. After all, if the Bodhisattva can be referred to in both male and female terms, why can't he?

His worst symptoms (in his opinion) is an overwhelming craving for organ meat. He finds it disgusting, but he needs that iron.

The only reason Tripitaka isn't swamped by suitors like before is because they're all afraid of whom was able to father the Great Monk's young (i.e. himself via river magic).

Tripitaka only choses two names at first, A boy and girl, telling his disciples that they can choose any extras when the time comes. He wants to honour his parents, Chen Guangrui (陳光蕊) and Yin Wenjiao (殷溫嬌), whom he nor his children will ever truly know, so he ensures both names contain a character from each.

Wēnhòu/温厚 - "good natured, warm and generous". Wukong got confused after hearing this name since it sounded like "tender monkey". That was unintentional, but Wukong excitedly thought the second character was to honour him, and Tripitaka was too tired to change it

Bōguāng/波光 - "reflection of sunlight on waves". A very pretty name. Ao Lie started laughing when he heard it and wouldn't tell Tripitaka why until the gang encountered Prince Mo'ang. "Master is naming his first born son Boguang!" Now all the dragons think Tripitaka did it as a sign of good faith to dragon kind.

Tripitaka has no delusions on the matter; he is male from birth, and the only reason he knows he can survive this mystical pregnancy is 1: A Demon's natural ability to shapeshift, 2: His increased healing ability, 3: Surprising reassurance from the Six Eared Macaque of all people.

(*the Pilgrims have set up camp for the night, all asleep save for a certain monk. Tripitaka is praying, still unfathomably worried about his and his child's health.*) Macaque, manifesting from the shadows: "Cut the mopping, fluffy. I can hear it from across the valley." Tripitaka, eyes fixed on the fire: "I'm sorry..." Macaque, sighs and groans: "My ears... aren't just for show you know. They don't just hear the Now, but also the Past, and Future. It's all in the wind." Tripitaka: "That's a marvellous ability to possess. But I fail to see how it will help-" Macaque: "You're going to be fine. You and your kids. Thats what I've heard." Tripitaka: (*surprised but secretly ecstatic with the news. Rubs hand on stomach where a lot of kicking it happening*) Tripitaka, warm smile: "Thank you, Liu'er Mihou. You've put a great worry of mine to rest." Macaque, acting nonchalant: "Whatever. Just don't want to be kept up all night by your panicking. There's three by the way." Tripitaka: "...wait, THREE!?!" Macaque, evil smile: "Enjoy!" (*shadow portals away*)

The cubs likely only arrive after some years (demonic pregnancy and all), and whilst it would be nice and clean for them to only arrive after the gang completes their Journey...

Imagine the utter chaos that would occur if the Great Monk's children decided to be born at Lion Camel Ridge? >:3

The Pilgrims and the Brotherhood are arguing, causing a huge fuss when Tripitaka, like a character in a Victorian romance novel, faints upon the nearest surface.

Guanyin teleports on scene and tells everyone to STFU - baby Golden Cicadas are in-bound!

The process is long and tiring, but doesn't have many complications. The main issue is trying to keep the parent awake - Tripitaka depleting all his energy to bring his children into the world.

Wenhou/温厚 (First Born): A feisty little girl. Is out kicking and hissing before her eyes even open. Has more prominent white markings than orange or black. A right diva/princess of a kitten, if something doesn't go her way, she lets everyone know about it. Bajie can't say no to his baby niece, and spoils her rotten despite Tripitaka's objections.

Boguang/波光 (Second Born): A confused little panther (black-furred tiger) who immediately gets into an argument with his older sister when she kicks him. Mostly chill but quick to sibling-on-sibling violence. Most mischievous. Loves hiding in people's hair, and due to blending in and causing his family to panic searching for him; his fave is Macaque (the feeling is mutual).

Tangzǐ/唐子/"Little Tang/Tangy" (Third Born): The runt of the litter. Tangzi took a much longer time to arrive than his siblings and even longer to start crying, worrying his family immensely. Guanyin even stepped in to rub the baby's chest until they got a solid angry "Mew!" from him. Eventually though, he's heartily eating and has as much hunting instinct as a sheep. Loves his Uncle/Big Brother Wukong the most-

HEY WAIT A MINUTE:

When did he get here!?

But yeah, 3rd babu is LMK Tang. All lazy and hungry and giving the big kitten eyes to get what he wants. He's named "Tangzi" as a joke to how much he looks like his mama + a pun on how much he exaggerates things like his hunger or how big that bug he saw was.

Tripitaka sighs tiredly. He never thought he could love someone so much until he met his cubs. He instinctually grooms them clean as a mother tiger would, and only allows his closest companions near enough to see them.

In drafting these Tripitaka river-kiddos I realised I accidentally did something XD

As for suitors and those who'd wish the kittens harm - it will be certainly a task to get anywhere close to them with not only their protective mama tiger nearby, but also their vigilant uncles!

If a demon ever actually managed to harm one of the babies to try and consume their divine energy - Guanyin themselves would step in and tear them limb from limb.

The gang are forced to stay at Lion Camel Ridge a little longer than planned. The demon populace are surprisingly accepting, and even joyous by the Great Monk's situation! One "of their own" is going to make it up the ranks of Western Heaven, and has produced healthy cubs that not even the Buddha can deny the preciousness of!

Azure attempts to greet the kittens personally shortly after the birth, only to get three tiny swipes at his nose, followed by a much larger one from Tripitaka himself. He's more in love than he could ever be.

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

A Day with Duckie (Sequel to Three Generations)

Pairing: Rooster / Fem!Reader (Wife!Reader)

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Rooster is a Dad; Female Reader with No Name or Physical Description, No Y/N, Third Person POV; OC Bradshaw Kid without Physical Description (minus a reference to his smile being similar to Rooster's)

This work, all of my other works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only.

Summary: Maverick takes Kai to the zoo for the day and finds out why Rooster was so insistent upon needing a babysitter.

Part of Three Generations Universe

Master List

About three months after the mission, the Bradshaw family permanently moved from Virginia Beach to San Diego. And they even moved into a house that was only a seven-minute drive from Maverick’s small residence. So, Maverick was over just about every other day. He tried to not encroach on their family time, but Rooster and his wife assured Maverick that they loved having him around.

And the free babysitting offers.

Rooster’s wife always sounded worried that she was completely inconveniencing him when she asked Maverick to pick Kai up from daycare or watch him for a few hours, but Maverick hadn’t turned them down once. He already missed so much time out of Kai’s life and Rooster’s, so any opportunity that he had to spend with either of them, he was going to take it.

And today, Maverick was going to take Kai out to the zoo for the day. Rooster texted him a few days ago, practically begging for Maverick to watch Kai for a few hours, and even offered to pay him. As if Maverick would take any money for watching Grandbaby Goose.

Gliding through the relatively quaint streets of Miramar, Maverick hummed a tune to himself as he made his way to the Bradshaw family home. He pulled into the driveway and parked his Kawasaki beside the Bronco. Turning off the engine, Maverick reached up to undo the strap of his new helmet that Penny bought him only a month ago.

It followed an afternoon where Kai was learning how to ride his bike and gave his mom a bit of sass about not needing to wear a helmet since ‘Mav doesn’t wear one.’ And, so, every time that there was even a chance that Maverick would see Kai, he wore his helmet. Penny even somehow got one customized to replicate the markings on his pilot helmet.

Walking up to the Bradshaw house, Maverick knocked on the door and waited patiently to be let inside. A few seconds later, Rooster opened the door. But before Maverick could even greet him, he was attacked by a very excited four-year-old with seemingly limitless energy.

“Mav!” Kai screeched happily, wrapping his little body around Maverick’s leg.

“Hey, Kai,” Maverick chuckled, stumbling back a little bit. “You excited to go to the zoo?”

“Yeah!”

“And what do you say to Mav for taking you to the zoo?” Rooster asked his son, in that classic ‘parent giving a lesson’ tone.

“Thank you, Mav!”

“Anytime, Kai,” Maverick chuckled, ruffling Kai’s hair.

“Thanks for taking him again,” Rooster replied, letting Maverick hobble inside with Kai on his leg. “We really appreciate it.”

“Stop thanking me for it,” Maverick told Rooster with the classic grandparent tone.

“Can we go?” Kai pleaded, grabbing Maverick’s hand and tugging it a bit.

“Kai, wait a second. Your mom’s still packing your bag,” Rooster stated somewhat firmly. “And you need to put some sunscreen on.”

Kai let out a sigh, but stopped tugging on Maverick’s hand. When Rooster walked off to grab some sunscreen, Maverick squatted down to Kai’s height and motioned for him to come closer, like he had government secrets. Kai quickly perked up and cupped his little hands around his ear for Maverick to whisper his ‘secret.’

“Don’t worry. The zoo’s not even open yet. We’re not missing out on anything,” Maverick assured Kai, poking him in the side.

Kai let out a little giggle and curled away from Maverick, rubbing his side. But the smile on Kai’s face quickly dropped when he saw Rooster returning with sunscreen in hand. Kai didn’t fight his dad, but he certainly pouted through the whole thing. He even shot Maverick a look that screamed ‘see what I have to deal with?’ that made Maverick have to hide a chuckle behind his hand.

As Rooster was finishing up with Kai’s sunscreen, Rooster’s wife walked into the room with a small bag for the day. She greeted Maverick with a wide, kind smile and a quick squeeze of a hug.

“Thank you again for taking him to the zoo,” Rooster’s wife stated as she handed the bag over to Maverick. “He’s been dying to go since we moved out here.”

“Any time,” Maverick assured her, putting the bag on his shoulder.

“Can we go now?” Kai called loudly, sliding out of his dad’s grip easily due to the sunscreen.

“Yeah, you can go,” Rooster replied, handing the bottle of sunscreen over to Maverick. “Behave for Maverick, okay, Kai?”

After a quick set of goodbyes and Kai all but dragging Maverick through the front door, they headed out for the day. Rooster handed Maverick the keys to his wife’s car, which was the car with Kai’s car seat already in it. Maverick set up Kai in his seat and put his little backpack down on the ground before walking around to the driver’s seat.

“Alright, talk to me, Duckie. Am I clear to maneuver?” Maverick asked Kai as he started the car.

Kai made a dramatic show of whipping around to check the driveway and the road for any sign of cars or other hazards. And Maverick, although he already knew that he was clear and was going to triple check for any dangers anyways with precious cargo in the backseat, waited patiently for Kai to finish up with his thorough check.

“You’re clear, Mav!”

“Copy that, Duckie.”

~~~~~

The zoo was rather full on a nice Saturday, but Maverick and Kai intended to have a good time anyways. Kai was still bursting with energy and pointing at everything that he could see and identify. And even though his identification skills were not always accurate, he certainly sold his story.

Kai waved to his ‘Uncle Coyote,’ even though the animal in question was certainly not Javy Machado and was actually a wolf, not a coyote. He also practically screamed in greeting to ‘Grandpa Goose,’ even though the animal was actually a spoonbill.

Maverick was having a wonderful time and happily snapped plenty of photos of Kai for Rooster and his wife in front of just about every exhibit. They made their way through the penguins, the big cats, and now they were on their way over to the reptiles. And, of course, they had to stop by the grander bird exhibits before they left.

Walking around the outside exhibits, Maverick led Kai by the hand as they entered the tortoise area. However, Maverick quickly noticed a frazzled looking zookeeper diverting people further down the path. And when Maverick saw what the tortoises were doing, he quickly understood the situation.

“Let’s keep walking, Kai,” Maverick tried to urge Kai, but Kai inherited his father’s stubbornness.

“But I want to see the turtles,” Kai stated, tugging a bit on Maverick’s hand. “They’re right there.”

“Oh, yeah, they are,” Maverick chuckled nervously, sharing a look with the flustered zookeeper. “Alright, we saw them, so—”

“—What are they doing?” Kai asked curiously, turning to the zookeeper.

“Um,” the zookeeper grunted out, forcing a smile, “they’re, uh . . . they’re just playing with each other.”

“Oh,” Kai held out, nodding along. He turned to Maverick with an innocent smile. “I saw Mommy and Daddy playing like that!”

The zookeeper let out a noise between a squeak and a gasp and slapped a hand over their mouth. A set of heads swiveled over to Kai and Maverick as Maverick tried to not let his eyes pop out of his skill. Maverick didn’t get embarrassed often or severely. But holy hell, he wanted to get away from those stupid turtles or tortoises or whatever the hell they were in that exact moment.

And, well, maybe he figured out why Rooster was so desperate to have someone babysit Kai.

“That’s . . .” Maverick trailed off, unable to find the right word to use. After a few more moments, Maverick quickly whipped around and pointed over at the next exhibit. “Oh, look, Kai, there’s some ducks over there!”

“Where?” Kai asked, whipping around too.

“Oh, you just missed them, but they went this way, come on,” Maverick replied, dragging Kai with him.

“Okay!”

~~~~~

After a dinner of burgers, fries, and milkshakes and a quick stop at a hardware store, Maverick and Kai returned to the Bradshaw family home.

The sun had already started to set, but there was still a glow of light left in the day. Kai was a bit sleepy, so Maverick scooped him up and carried him inside. Kai insisted that he was old enough to not take a nap, but his energy still seemed to have a limit. At least after 5 PM.

The door was already open for him by the time that Maverick walked around. Rooster stepped outside, dressed in a pair of gym shorts and a casual tank top. He smiled softly when he spotted Kai half-asleep against Maverick’s shoulder.

“You tuckered out, Kai?” Rooster called out to his son.

“No,” Kai protested sleepily.

“Alright,” Rooster replied with a light chuckle, taking Kai into his arms.

“I got a you, Daddy,” Kai stated, picking his head up as he transferred hands.

“A me?” Rooster asked, sounding confused.

Maverick opened the bag that he was carrying and held up a brand-new stuffed rooster from the zoo gift shop. Rooster let out a light laugh before pressing a kiss to the top of Kai’s head.

“Yeah, you did, bud,” Rooster agreed as he headed inside. As Maverick stepped inside behind Rooster, Rooster’s wife walked over.

“Hi, Kai. Hi, Mav, how was the zoo?” she asked kindly.

“Well, I can’t speak for Duckie, but I had a great time,” Maverick replied, smiling proudly.

“Was it fun, Kai, honey?” Rooster’s wife called again, rubbing his back soothingly.

“Good,” Kai mumbled out quietly.

“Ok, let’s get you to bed,” Rooster’s wife stated, pulling Kai into her arms and heading for the stairs. She shot Mav a smile and a small wave. “Thanks for taking him, Mav.”

“Any time,” Maverick replied, returning the nod. Once Kai and his mom were out of earshot, Maverick turned to Rooster. “But I have one last gift for you.”

“What? What gift?” Rooster asked, sounding confused. 

Maverick led Rooster out to the car and pulled out a bag from the trunk. Handing it over to Rooster, Maverick motioned for Rooster to open it. Rooster shot Maverick a look, but begrudgingly opened the bag. Pulling out the door lock that Maverick bought him, Rooster took about three half-seconds to register what the gift was, before turning pink with embarrassment.

“He told you?” Rooster groaned, holding a hand to his face.

“Well, apparently there were two tortoises who were ‘playing’ like ‘Mommy and Daddy’ at the zoo,” Maverick replied, folding his arms over his chest. “He forgot about it in about three seconds, but I thought that I should get you a lock. Just in case.”

“You cannot tell anyone,” Rooster begged Maverick, grabbing his shoulder gently. “Mav, I’m dead serious. My wife wouldn’t even look at me for a day after that.”

“I won’t,” Maverick assured Rooster. “Just wanted to spread the embarrassment.”

“You know that I can’t bring this inside, right?” Rooster replied, holding up the lock.

“I’ll leave it in your car,” Maverick stated, plucking it out of Rooster’s hand and putting it into the Bronco. Chuckling to himself, Maverick shook his head, far too proud of himself and this little joke. “You know, if you and the missus needed some alone time, you could have just said that. I babysat you all the time so that your parents could—”

“—Mav, as much as I would love to talk about that,” Rooster interjected, causing Maverick to laugh. “But thank you for watching Kai. We really appreciate it. And he really looks up to you and likes spending time with you.”

“I’m always here if you guys need me,” Maverick promised, nodding curtly. “And tell Duckie that I’ll have the side car attached to my old bike in about a week.”

“I will,” Rooster returned, before he paused. “Wait, what!?”

[queenimmadolla]

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍, 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘, 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄

(dad!eddie munson x mom!reader)

more dad!eddie, penny and baby wayne adventures can be found here.

summary: . . . jonathan and argyle return to spend an afternoon helping Eddie babysit your toddler and newborn at everyone’s favorite fast food place. once again, they are of no help. neither is Steve.

a/n: everyone loved Three Men and a Baby so here's a little sequel with everyone's fav babysitter and we couldn't leave baby wayne out. as always, all characters live in Hawkins because i said so. mistakes will be fixed later!

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

“You know, it kinda feels like we’re a family.” Argyle pointed out from his place on the soft mat just outside of the play place. He was yanking off his shoes to stick into the cubby next to Penny’s significantly smaller ones.

“Kind of? We’re at McDonald’s with our toddler and our baby, pretty sure we are a family.” Jonathan chimed in from his spot across the booth from Eddie. He was sunk into the seat, shoeless and waiting for Argyle with Penny on his lap. 

The three year old was practically shaking with energy, eager to jump into the playpen but since there were a couple of older kids in there, Argyle and Jonathan would be going in with her to make sure nothing happened to her. Truthfully, she probably would have been fine on her own but Jonathan and Argyle insisted, not amused with the idea of some seven year old touching their precious Penny with gross, sticky barbecue sauce covered fingers.

Not on their watch.

“With my toddler and my baby.” Eddie corrected them with a lazy grin, fingers gently massaging the fuzz on the top of the one month old’s head. He was leaned back on his side of the booth, baby Wayne curled up and fast asleep on his chest despite the noise around him. 

He was heavy sleeper, much like his dad had been before Penny and he came into the world. Now, Eddie was lucky if he didn’t wake up when you moved around in your sleep next to him.

“Same thing,” Argyle mumbled with a vague hand gesture, tossing his hat onto the table. “Man, you asked us to help you with the kids for the day, so we’ve got joint custody right now.”

“You asked me if you guys could hang out with us!”

With your family of three having turned into a family of four, it was clear you were outgrowing the trailer Big Wayne had left you and Eddie when he’d moved in with his new ‘lady friend’. So while you were out apartment hunting with Eden, Eddie had stayed home with Penny and Wayne. This time around, he was much more confident in himself being solo, despite the addition of the new baby. Besides, Penny was easy to watch right now.

She was so taken with baby Wayne, whom she affectionally referred to as her ‘potatoes’ because it had been what Grandpa Wayne compared him to when he was born, shockingly pale, small and covered heavily in white biofilm. He’d since developed color, but Penny had latched onto it and wouldn’t be letting the nickname go anytime soon.

Jonathan and Argyle had stopped by—a normal occurrence since the first time they’d hung around Eddie and Penny when she had been the newborn—under the guise of having caught wind from Eden that Eddie would be alone with the kids.

Eddie knew they just missed Penny and were trying to be the cool uncles they thought they were and he hadn’t wanted her to feel like she wasn’t going to be getting attention now that Wayne had finally made his arrival in the world, so he figured a little outing would do her some good.

Apparently it did Argyle and Jonathan some good, too.

“Hurry up, Argyle.” Jonathan hissed, and Penny nodded from her place on his lap.

“Yeah, huwwy!”

“Oh my god—fine, let’s go already!” Argyle threw his hands up in exasperation. He didn’t need to tell her twice. Penny climbed down from Jonathan’s lap faster than he could try to get a hold of her and made a run for the play place, quickly diving in, much to Argyle and Jonathan’s horror.

“Dude, you just let her go alone!”

“You could have grabbed her, why did you tell her to do that?”

They were still arguing as they crawled in after her, Jonathan looking absolutely ridiculous as he called out for her in hopes of finding her quickly.

Eddie laughed, big doe eyes focused on a window of the play place where he could see Penny waving a little hand at him. She already made it to the highest level, Jonathan and Argyle wouldn’t be getting a hold of her anytime soon.

For a good fifteen minutes, Eddie watched as Jonathan and Argyle popped up in spots Penny had previously been occupying just a couple of moments too late, it looked like they were still arguing as they crawled through each section in search of her.

Wayne stirred, his tiny body wiggling on Eddie’s chest. 

Eddie sat up a little straighter as his hand cradled the back of his son’s head to lay him across his lap. “Someone’s finally up."

Wayne was staring up at him, face set in a slight scowl. The differences between Penny and Wayne would never cease to amuse Eddie. While Penny had been a happy baby, if not a little judgmental looking with her expressions, Wayne’s main emotion was bothered.  He was remarkably unimpressed with just about everyone except his parents, so far. Most babies were figuring out how to use their face and constantly smiling when doing so, but not Wayne.

He only moved his face around to look angry or annoyed. He seemed to be filled with attitude and Eddie honestly couldn’t be more proud, especially when you were cooing over it. Probably wouldn’t appreciate it when Wayne would become a teenager, but for now it was stinking cute. It also helped that you seemed to be a copy machine, while they might differ in personalities so far, Wayne looked almost exactly like Penny had when she was his age, though instead of a fully covered head of curls, his head was mostly fuzz with a main strip of the curls going down the center of his head—when it was Wayne’s bath time, Eddie liked to give him a mohawk—and you were pleased when he came out with a pair of big brown, doe eyes, too. Along with unfairly long eyelashes.

Wayne gave a loud grunt up at him, his barely-there eyebrows furrowing as he seemingly tried to yell at his dad.

“Ooh and on the wrong side of the crib again, huh?” Eddie frowned mockingly down at him, clicking his tongue as he bounced his baby gently.

Wayne still wasn’t amused with his daddy’s teasing and gave another warning yelp without breaking eye contact.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re so intimidating and so tough, no one can mess with you.” Eddie cooed, raising the tiny baby in his hold to his lips as he pressed a kiss to the soft, sweet smelling skin of his son’s forehead. 

Regardless of how annoyed he seemed to be, just like every other baby Wayne was a sucker for human contact and preened under Eddie’s affections, when Eddie pulled back to look at him he was more content, fists uncurling to stretch out his little wrinkly fingers as he suckled on his bottom lip.

“What the hell is this?”

The voice surprised Wayne so much his little arms shot up and his body stiffened, back arching. Eddie sighed as he reached for the pacifier on the table top before acknowledging the drama queen.

“That would be my son, Harrington.” 

Steve rolled his eyes, foot tapping in irritation as his hands rested on his hips.

“I know that, Munson, I wasn’t referring to the cute little bread loaf. I’m talking about how I was at the stoplight down the street and I just so happened to glance into the parking lot and see both your van and a certain pizza delivery service car. Which would mean you, Jonathan and Argyle are hanging out without me again. And I know you guys wouldn’t do that, especially since the whole friend group knows how I feel about being left out.”

“You hang out with plenty of other people all the time.” Eddie reminded him as he held the pacifier to Wayne’s lips. The glutton accepted it eagerly and relaxed into his dad’s embrace once again.

“I mean being left out with guys! Not the kids!”

“You’ve got Robin.”

“I said not with the kids.”

“I’m telling her you said that.”

“I know you’re probably joking—or at least I hope to god you are, but please don’t do that.” Steve didn’t bother waiting for an invitation to sit down, just sat in the side of the booth Argyle had been occupying. “Where are Cheech and Chong, anyways?”

Before Eddie could answer, a crash came from one of the upper levels of the playpen.

“THERE SHE IS, QUICK GRAB HER!” Argyle yelled, followed by the sound of another bang and some groaning. “Ow! Dude, get your elbow out of my kidneys!”

“Then stop trying to crowd in front of me! You’re gonna get us stuck!”

“Never mind.” Steve chuckled and Eddie smirked when he caught sight of Penny running past another barrier window, still wild and free. While he couldn’t see Argyle or Jonathan, he could make out the figures belonging to the two grown men in the red tubing. “Do I even want to know what they’re doing?”

“It’s pretty funny with the context, but it’s probably even funnier without.” Eddie shifted until Wayne was tucked in the crook of his arm, big brown eyes heavily lidded as he sucked on his pacifier and stared up at his dad.

“Can I hold him?” Steve asked, trying to get Wayne to look at him with mind powers he lacked. It didn’t work, Wayne was still zeroed in on Eddie.

“Yeah, hold on.” Eddie placed one hand under Wayne’s body and the other under his head, before lifting him up like an offering. Steve’s hand carefully replaced Eddie’s and then was pulling Wayne to his body, arms secure around his little body.

“Oh.” Steve was taken aback with the angry glare directed up at him. He’d only seen the one month old a handful of times so far in his existence and he hadn’t really gotten to hold him for long due to the amount of arms he had to be passed through in one go whenever he was brought around. Robin told him Wayne had reminded her of how unfriendly Eddie looked to people who didn’t know him—and people who did—and he was starting to get what she meant. 

“That—that’s a face he’s making. Cute, but damn, he’s a little scary.”

Maybe it was mean of him, Eddie was hoping Wayne would cry and knock Steve’s ego down a few notches. He had faith in his little boy.

“He’s just a little delayed when it comes to his facial expressions, I’m sure as soon as he learns how to express emotions, he’ll be all smiley.” Eddie stayed fixated on the baby in Steve’s arms, watching his face for any impending outbursts.

Much to his surprise, he did start smiling. Right up at Steve. The big haired jerk started beaming. “Look! He’s doing it!”

Eddie tried not to frown, Wayne hadn’t smiled like that around him on his own yet, why the hell was he doing it for Harrington?

He got his answer when Wayne’s stomach began to gurgle, followed by the distinct sound of him utterly obliterating his diaper.

Steve looked horrified as he realized Wayne was pooping in his arms, but he looked traumatized when he realized he could feel warmth spreading up Wayne’s little back. Then the smell punched him in the face. “Oh my god.”

Eddie’s head flew back as he laughed hard, tears welling up in his eyes. That explained why Wayne had been in such a sour mood, his poor baby was probably feeling so relieved after dropping that dump.

Steve didn’t look so amused, he stood up and moved over to give Wayne back to Eddie before disappearing into the play place after Penny, Jonathan and Argyle. 

“Good job, baby.” Eddie cooed, pressing a kiss into his baby’s fat cheeks. With his tummy no longer an issue, Wayne was cooing right back at him, looking entirely relaxed.

Eddie gathered Wayne and his diaper bag, slipping out to the parking lot. Once he’d made it to the van, he placed Wayne down on the seat and quickly changed his diaper, making sure to clean any blow out he might have gotten on his back. Steve had to be a weenie when it came to smells because it didn’t stink to Eddie, especially considering the only thing Wayne consumed was breast milk. 

“How you feeling?” Eddie asked the infant as he swapped out his onesie with a cleaner one. He liked this one better, anyways. It had been Penny’s old Hellfire onesie, something you made her when you’d found out you were pregnant and what she wore when you’d dressed her as him for her first Halloween. Obviously, Wayne didn’t say anything back but Eddie had grown used to talking to Penny when she hadn’t been able to talk yet, so he was more than comfortable doing the same thing with Wayne.

“Yeah, I’d feel better after that, too. But knowing you, you’re starving now that you’re empty, aren’t you?” Eddie gently pulled the pacifier from Wayne’s mouth, lips twitching into a smile when his baby continued to mime the suckling  motion. He held his knuckle up to Wayne’s little lips and sure enough his little guy sucked eagerly at it.

Eddie pulled the small bottle containing your breast milk from one of the side pouches of the diaper bag and decided to leave the bag itself in the car. He wasn’t planning on sticking around for too much longer since Penny was probably wearing herself out, no doubt she’d need a nap soon. As would Jonathan and Argyle, probably.

Once he was back inside and back in the booth, Eddie fed Wayne his bottle, gazing down at him with adoration as his sons’ eyes closed in content.

“Hi, daddy.” Penny appeared at the table, the curls on her little head going in every direction as she struggled to pull herself onto the seat. Eddie placed a hand on her bottom, simultaneously feeling her diaper for any droopiness—she wasn’t entirely potty trained yet—and hoisting her up next to him.

“Did you go potty?”

“No.”

“Do you need to?”

“No. Tooce?”

“Juice, baby.” Eddie handed her the apple juice box that had come with her happy meal, watching as she drained it. She’d need to go pee soon, after that.

Now, if Penny was here then . . . where were the the guys who had tasked themselves with watching her?

Both he and Penny glanced up when they heard Steve’s voice coming from the section of the playpen right above them.

“I’m telling you guys, I didn’t see her when I came in!”

“Well, I’ve been blocking this part off and Argyle’s stuck in the green diesel truck side, she hasn’t come by here so she had to have passed you!” Jonathan’s voice shot back.

“Wait—he’s stuck?”

“He got a cramp in his leg and he can’t stretch it out since it’s so cramped in there, so he’s just got to wait it out—hey, did you go through the yellow tunnel yet?”

Both of Steve’s elbows smacked into the plastic walls around him as he changed direction, hissing in pain. “Fuck—no, hold on I’ll go check. Meet me back at the green diesel.”

Eddie could make out the silhouette of their figures crawling away from each other and then it got quiet before both Eddie and Penny started laughing.

Penny giggled into her hand as she rested her head against her daddy’s arm. He stroked a hand over her heated face, the apples of her cheeks dark from the wild chase she’d lead her uncles on.

“You tired yet, baby?”

“Yuh-huh. I had so many funs, daddy! Unca Johnny and Unca Ahgle chaseded me, but I am so fast! Is my little baby potatoes eating, daddy?” Penny got a grip on his jacket and used it to balance herself as she stood up on the seat to peer down at her baby brother who had his eyes closed but was still suckling on the bottle.

His heart warmed at the sight, Eddie loved how much Penny loved Wayne. He’d always been lonely as a kid and longed for companionship, even a sibling. Now, he was just happy Penny wouldn’t have to go through life with that same loneliness. And neither would Wayne, they’d have each other through thick and thin. They’d have both of their parents, too. 

Eddie was so thankful for his family, suddenly he longed to have you near him to complete it again. 

Fate seemed to be taking it easy on him these last few years, because he got you, he had Penny, he had Wayne, and now he had you again, this time walking into the McDonalds.

Penny spotted you first and began jumping up and down to get your attention. Once you’d spotted her, you hurried over and let her jump into your arms, holding her close to your body as she clung to you.

“Mommy, mommy! Look!” She points over at the play place, you followed her finger, assuming she was trying to get you to admire the build.

“I see! Were you playing in there?”

“Yeah! Yeah! I was play’n wiff Unca Johnny and Unca Ahgle.”

“Let me guess, your uncles are still playing in there without you.”

“Uh-huh!”

“Argyle, you’re blocking the way!” You heard Steve yell out.

“Go around! My leg hurts!”

“We literally can’t, Argyle.” Jonathan’s voiced echoed above you as Eden stepped out from behind you with a heavy sigh.

“Did Argyle get stuck again?” The shorter girl, clad in black directed the question at Eddie who was biting back a grin.

“Green diesel,” he snickered out, nodding to the section of the play place. Eden’s shoulders sagged before she walked over to the cubby and kicked her shoes off.

“The things I do for love,” she grumbled as she climbed through the entrance and up the large purple stairs, not having to wcrawl as much as the guys did since she was smaller in stature.

“How’d it go?” Eddie asked as you slid in next to him, giving him a kiss before you stroked a hand over your now dozing baby’s cheek.

“Really good! I think I found one you’re gonna like, it’s gated and it’s near the garage, though I’m not sure about the gated part now. Can’t imagine the amount of trouble The Brothers Pothead would have with the gate code.”

Right on cue you heard more loud thumps and bangs coming from above you.

“Argyle, you have to stretch your leg out!”

“Baby, I can’t! It hurts like hell!”

“Stop cussing, this is a children’s place!”

“Argyle, I will give you five dollars to just suck it up and drag yourself through so we can get Penny and get out of here.”

“Penny’s already out there,” You heard Eden inform the guys who groaned.

“Thought she didn’t get past you, Steve.” Jonathan’s condescending tone could be heard.

“Yes, because I willingly want to be in a confined space that smells like butt sweat. Obviously, I didn’t see her.”

Eddie watched you laugh with a smile on his face before raising his eyebrows down at Penny as she pried herself out of your arms to tug on the sleeve of his jacket.

“It’s stinky in thew, daddy. It weally is. ‘S why I left.”

“That’s gross, baby."

“Yeah.”

You couldn’t wait any longer, carefully plucking your baby from Eddie’s arms. Baby Wayne let out a couple of little squeaks but didn’t stir too much as he curled into your chest, cheek resting against your breast. You spotted the empty bottle in Eddie’s hold and began to gently pat your son’s back. It took a few moments, then he let out the most adorable of burps and for once didn’t spit up all over you.

“Is he still out?” You asked Eddie, unable to see if the baby still had his eyes closed from the angle you had him cradled to your chest at.

“For the most part,” Wayne’s eyes weren’t entirely closed, they were open just enough for Eddie to tell his eyes were rolled back. Very metal looking. With Eddie’s arms free, Penny decided to climb right into them, securing her own around his neck.

You raised your baby’s body a little higher to nuzzle your face in the trail of soft, sweet smelling hair, getting a good whiff of his baby scent.

Once you’d had your fill, you shuffled further into the booth until Eddie could slip an arm over your shoulders, thumb stroking against the side of your neck and you relaxed into the hard plastic of the booth, shooting your daughter a smile when you caught her staring at you, “Get comfortable, baby. I think we’re gonna be here for a while.” 

Eddie laughed and Penny didn’t look like she cared.

“I've got a riddle for you, sweetheart,” Eddie started, shifting Penny around until her back was to his front and she was perched comfortably in his lap. “What’s the difference between the three stooges and three grown men stuck in a children’s play course?”

You pretended to think for a few minutes. “Mmm, you got me. What do you think, Penny?”

Penny grinned, shoulders shrugging.

“I dunno.”

“Nothing.” Eddie finally answered. “There is no difference.”

“Whas the stooges?” Penny asked, little hand scratching the curls on her head.

“You’re ruining daddy’s joke, baby.” Eddie playfully growled down at her, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers as she craned her neck back to look up at him, giggling in delight and oh so pleased to have caused ‘trouble’ for her daddy.

“I should have just kept driving.” A familiar voice passed over you from the tube directly above your head.

“Eddie, is that Steve?”

“Sweetheart, I said three stooges and I wasn’t referring to Eden, does it look like I have a death wish?”