#the same points and the same angles over and over again
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mask131 · 21 hours ago
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I am re-reading the Silmarillion, and something strikes me. The women of Tolkien's world have been talked about TO DEATH especially with all the recurring debates surrounding the Rings of Power series.
As we all know, Tolkien was not a "feminist" in the modern sense of the word. He had a very male-centric point of view and appreciation of the world, he had male-driven and male-centered stories, and actual women characters were sparse and rare. There are only five really big female characters in "The Lord of the Rings" - the quintet of Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. [No, don't talk to me about Arwen, she only really was a character in the movies, in the book she's just there in the appendix and she was literaly an afterthought of Tolkien to act as Eowyn's romantic double...]
Consider this. Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. This tells you everything you need to know about Tolkien's women, in good and bad.
The Silmarillion has the same motif of having a lot of female characters, only for most of them to be just footnotes, secondary characters with no lines, under-developped one-liners... with in a contrast a handful of super-cool, super-badass, complex and developed heroines at the center of the plot.
Aka, on the bad side, when listing the Valar, while Tolkien gives an interesting personality, great domains and cool attributes to all the male ones, half of the female ones are just... there. And do one stuff. And never appear again. I mean come on... Vana and Nessa? Estë and Vairë were done dirty... That's the actual type of "non-feminism" Tolkien has. It isn't about him hating women or trying to be offensive in his depictions - it is about him just, not putting as much thought, effort and care into his female characters as his male ones, a bit the same way he creates the vast expanses of the East and South of Middle-Earth and then never bothers actually developing more of it or seeking to tell tales of it - but that's for another discussion about Tolkien's "racism". Here we talk about women.
But here's the thing, aka the good side... When Tolkien does find the time and care to develop and flesh out a female character, by Iluvatar he goes all out! Again, we are back on what I said earlier: the women of Lord of the Rings can be counted on one hand... but these fingers are Galadriel, Eowyn and Shelob, so you can't claim he isnt writing powerful, important or uninterestng female characters. Which leads me to my original remark - as usual I get driven away in digressions of all sorts and kinds.
Have you ever noticed that Melkor's greatest enemies, the ones he fears the most, and his most effective foes... are women? Tolkien might not like to put them front and center of his tales, and he might have been a man of the early 20th century England in culture and mind, but boy does he has something to say about how women are actually the first enemies of the literal embodiment of evil and destruction! I mean think about it. Varda of the Stars, and Yavanna of the trees. Nienna has her ambiguous relationship to him - her tears work against him, and yet without her plea for him he likely would not have been released from the dungeons of Mandos. You have Melian with her Girdle, and Luthien with her Hound. And of course most of all Arien, guardian of the Sun, not only one of the rare fire spirits that Melkor couldn't corrupt (despite him basically ruling over all fire), but that frightens him so much he keeps hiding away and doesn't even dare to attack her... [I also reblogged some times ago a post praising the brilliance of Tolkien keeping the old European sun-moon motifs but switching the genders. The weaker, inconsistant, lustful, whimsical, disorderly, untrustworthy Moon is now a male principle, while the steady, dangerous, strong, powerful and beautiful Sun is a woman.]
It is actually REALLY easy to do a feminist retelling of Tolkien's work. Melkor doesn't fear Manwë as much as Varda. Aulë's works and servants get corrupted by Melkor, while Yavanna's do not. Melian and Luthien actively works against him. He friggin' pisses himself when the Woman of the Sun shows up. Sure, there are some evil female characters that serve him down the line and are relegated to the "obscure footnotes and undescribed secondary characters" zone - Thuringwethil the vampire or queen Beruthiel. I coul also dropped deleted characters from early drafts, like the ogress Fluithuin. But among them stands Ungoliant... THE only true female big bad on the dark side of Arda. THE badass, nightmarish, creepy eldritch abomination. And who ends up double-crossing Melkor, almost KILLING him, and again making him basically shit in his pants - as Varda and Arien do.
The first enemies of Morgoth are not the Valar, or the Maiar, or the Elves... It's women.
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fozmeadows · 24 hours ago
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Genuinely I think this point bears explanation, because phones are so ubiquitous in everyday life - and, crucially, while watching TV at home - that many people just. Do not comprehend how highly visible phone screens are in a theater, as opposed to your living room. There are two main reasons for this: one, that your living room is unlikely to be anywhere near as dark as a movie theater, and two, even if it was, your living room doesn't feature tiered seating, ie: nobody is sitting directly behind and/or slightly above you.
Way back in Ye Ancient Times - which is to say, 2012 - I went to see The Hunger Games at the movies. I was excited to see the film, but all through the trailers, the girl in the seat directly in front of me was on her phone. I figured, whatever, it's the trailers, and also some of the house lights are still on, so it's not a big deal - but then she proceeded to keep intermittently using her phone once the movie started. After the third time she pulled it back out again, I had to lean forward and tap her on the shoulder to say hey, could you please Not. And to her credit, she did just that - because until I pointed it out, it clearly hadn't occurred to her that, while she'd angled the screen towards herself, this meant that all its brightness was also pointed directly at me, the person immediately behind her, with a torch-like level of brightness.
This problem is most acute in theaters with stadium seating, because the added elevation means more of the person/s in front is in your eyeline, but it also applies in general seating, too, because the gaps between the seats will let the screen light through - and because the surrounding theater is, again, much darker than a living room, the light shines all the brighter. So while you can reasonably get away with, say, scrolling this hellsite on mobile while you're watching Netflix at home with a friend or partner, you absolutely cannot do the same at the movies, unless you're all alone in the very back row or the only one in the theater.
At the same time, it's important to point out that bad phone etiquette at the movies has existed for as long as we've had both of those things; it's just that phone screens are now so ubiquitous at home that a lot of people haven't figured out that they function differently in certain public spaces. The worst case of bad phone behaviour at the movies I ever witnessed personally was back in 2007, when my husband and I went to see No Country For Old Men - a film which, if you've seen it, is incredibly tense and atmospheric, ending with a philosophical/moving monologue delivered naturalistically, with no background music. We saw it in a tiny theater, one that had only about fifty seats, with an audience comprised of about ten people - one of whom decided, in the closing moments of the film, while this final, haunting scene was happening, to take a call on his phone without leaving the theater. Dude was aware enough that he was being rude to have put a hand over his mouth to try and muffle his own voice, and yet still decided to have a whole-ass conversation that lasted the exact length of the final scene. Every single member of that audience turned around and stared at him - and at each other, exchanging silent can you fucking believe this shit? eye contact - and yet: he still finished his call, and then had the nerve to look offended at having been stared at. Absolutely insane behaviour. Do not be this guy!
ppl are rlly trying to defend being on your phone during a movie in the theater what is going on
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tobyisave · 2 days ago
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acting lessons
this is for my chapter 5 au... I tried to compose a toxic doomed yaoi saiouma essay in the tags just now but it went over the tag limit (mortifying) so I'm just going to paste it under the cut!!
////cw for suicide of course. also heads up my version of saiouma is almost completely one sided 👍🏼
#look.. in my mind there is no world where shuichi truly comes around on kokichi #but there is TOTALLY a world where he feels eternally fucked up and guilty about assisting in his suicide #and cant bring himself to hate anymore #cant bring himself to reject the casual but blatantly self-indulgent touches of the boy hes about to murder in the most excruciating way possible #just let him have his fun #let him squeeze your shoulder a little too long #its the least you can do when hes about to let his entire body be turned into an unrecognizable puddle of gore #you dont have to pretend you like it. he KNOWS you dont like it. just let it happen & soon enough itll be over and youll never have to see him again #youll never be *able* to see him again. nothing left of him to even call a body #fucking unidentifiable #god. #(to be clear i dont approve of that logic at all but i sure think shuichi would feel that way)
#its like oumota but worse because (to me) shuu has completely written him off by ch5 and doesnt even need the poison blackmailing to agree #its shuichis low point after all hes fully suicidal and thinks kokichi is the mastermind who destroyed humanity's last hope #he doesnt have time to recalculate his opinion before its too late #he agrees almost immediately #but the closer it gets the less he can justify it #like god this guy fills me with rage and we would never ever in a million years get along but hes also a warm breathing human being #and hes in love with me or something and i just agreed to kill him. EAGERLY! #to his FUCKING FACE #yes i openly hated him already. and yes he didnt even blink when i told him i could kill him #if anything he looked happy! #but god how could i just say that to someone? how did it get this bad? #and how is he still giving me finger hearts through the camera while we test out angles for his fucking DEATH VIDEO #maybe just maybe its because he really thinks this will save us. but maybe he just wants to die #and i dont even know if that makes a difference anymore #et cetera……..
#like i said im not a saiouma guy in the traditional sense but #i do like pathetic clingy kokichi x shuichi who hates himself for harboring genuine malice towards him #(justified malice) #but is too self doubting to take the reins and stop the horrible thing theyve already set in motion
#meeting the same fate as kaede because he THOUGHT he was agreeing to kill the mastermind #when in reality it was really just a cagey guy who was trying to do the EXACT same thing and made the mistake of going it alone #and now that guy who couldve been his ally is dead and he has to pretend hes ok and lie to his friends to derail this trial #for this stupid idiotic plan he let himself get blindly swept up in #that was never going to work in the first place #he knew it was full of holes he knew ouma was full of shit #he knew himself he knew he'd buckle under the pressure of the trial #but he didnt say a thing #it was so much easier to go with it. he just wanted it to be fucking over with #well its not over. the game continues and kokichi is dead and for what #didnt lift a fucking finger #fucking idiot coward bottom of the barrel piece of shit. GOD #i dont know man. it's just real kill yourself hours for shuichi after this one
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mandiemegatron · 15 hours ago
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ʟᴀᴡ x ᴄɪꜱꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ; (ɴᴏ ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ ᴜꜱᴇᴅ, ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴠɪᴇᴡᴇᴅ ᴀꜱ ɢ/ɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)
ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ; 18+ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴀᴍ ᴅᴇᴀʟꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ꜱᴜʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ, ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴄᴏᴀʀꜱᴇ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏɴᴄᴏɴ ᴠᴏʏᴇᴜʀɪꜱᴍ (ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴏʀ🤭) ᴠɪᴇᴡᴇʀ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ ɪꜱ ᴀᴅᴠɪꜱᴇᴅ.
You couldn't help yourself.
Every time Law's face burned at your flirty words, a warmth settled in your lower belly. You were determined to make it burn like an out of control fire.
“What brings you by? You alright?”
You had just stepped into his office, a certain look in your eyes as you asked him, “Are you aware of how handsome you are?”
There's a choked sound from Law as his pen scratches across the page he was currently scribbling away on. An incredulous look washes over his face as he somehow gets out,
“Somewhat inappropriate to say to your Captain, you think?”
Your grin and roll your eyes, stepping closer to his desk as that familiar burn settles on his cheeks. Unhindered by his hat, you took in every angle on his face and you couldn't help but reply with, “Doesn't mean it's not true.”
You both stare each other down for a good moment before you finally ask what you'd been meaning to for ages.
“... Were you serious about never having a blow job before?”
Laws face burns bright red and he's quick to retort something, his brows furrowed as fury rises in his chest but you cut him off with a simple,
“I only ask because I'd love to show you what it's like.”
His voice cracks as the words fail him, that same incredulous look returning on his reddened face as he bites out,
“Again, an inappropriate thing to say-”
“Are you saying you're not interested?”
You can tell by how he shuffles slightly in his chair that he's probably hard as a rock in those spotted jeans, the way his eyes avert yours as he mulls over your words.
“I…”
You cross your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at him as you wait for him to figure his thoughts out.
“... it wouldn't be right.” He murmurs, though you can see the words taste bitter on his tongue.
He wants it just as much as you.
“Law.”
His eyes flickered back to yours, a slightly kind look in them at you calling his name.
“Y/N.”
You give him a slight grin as you make your way to him, turning his chair to the side so you could fall to your knees between his now parted legs. You were correct, his pants barely contained his cock and you sucked in a breath at seeing it twitch in his jeans. You laid your palms flat on his thighs before looking back up at him, knowing your pupils were just as wide as his were.
“If at any point you want me to stop, promise me you'll say something.”
He says nothing, just nods dumbly as your hands slowly slide up his thighs. One of your hands stops and covers over his bulge, your thumb teasing and just barely pressing into his thick cock and your stomach flips at the soft, unhindered whimper that leaves him.
“Mm… I knew it was big,” you murmured mostly to yourself, though you could tell by the way his cock throbbed in your palm that he heard you loud and clear.
You painstakingly slowly undid the button and pulled down the zipper, watching as his boxer covered cock bobbed out from behind the zipper. His underwear was already spotted with precum, which you couldn't help but tease a thumb over one particularly dark spot, knowing his tip laid just under it.
A low groan left him at the feeling, his hips twitching up slightly as you leaned down and locked the tip of your tongue over the spot.
“You want more?” You asked, sparing him a glance as you tugged but didn't pull down his boxers.
“...”
You pull your hand away with a sigh and Law is quick to beg softly,
“Yes-yes, I want more, please don't stop,”
You grin to yourself before finally freeing his cock from his confines, a little moan leaving you at the sight. Thick, slightly curved and a few shades lighter than the rest of him, with a trimmed bush and happy trail that sent shivers over your entire body.
You took his cock in your hand and immediately licked a long, slow stripe up the underside. He inhaled sharply, his hands gripping his armrests tightly as the tip of your tongue teased over his weeping slit. You slowly danced your tongue around his tip, bringing it into your lips and giving a testing suck and you were pleased when one of his tattooed hands went to your head, fingers tangling into your hair.
You didn't read him any longer, finally pulling him into your mouth little by little with a small moan. When your nose met his trimmed pubes, you swallowed thickly and moaned around him when his fingers tightened in your hair.
“M-more,” he begged you softly, his chest heaving slightly in pure extacy.
You easily obliged.
Immediately bobbing your head up and down his shaft, you hollow your cheeks as you sucked, your other hand moving to cup and gently fondle his balls which pulled a low, chest rumbling moan from him. You could tell he was already close by the way he twitched and how his breath hitched in his throat, soft groans and hums leaving him as you pulled him closer and closer to the edge.
You glance up to see his eyes screwed shut, an almost pained look on his face as he fought back the urge to spill down your throat right then and there. His fingers tug and pull your hair, not painfully but more so to ground himself, though he's unaware of how the motions soak your underwear.
You pull your mouth off him to look up at him, your hand giving a few thick pumps as you moan out,
“You gonna cum for me, Law?”
His eyes snap open to see you staring up at him and he can only nod quickly a few times, worried he'd fall over the edge if he spoke.
You grinned and right before pulling him back into your mouth, you demanded,
“Cum for me.”
With a harsh suck and a slight grip to his balls, his head throws back with a shout of pleasure and he cums, hard, filling your mouth with his thick essence though you swallow it down with a hidden gag.
When you're sure you've sucked him dry, you pull away and look up at him with a self-pleased grin, gently rubbing your palms over his thighs in a soothing motion.
“Did you enjoy that?”
Law feels like a wet noodle in his chair, only able to focus on his breathing as one of his hands moves to rest over his rapidly beating heart. It's a few moments before he finally looks down at you, his cheeks still tinted pink as he barely gets out,
“You're too good at that.”
You can't help but laugh, tucking some stray hair behind your ear with a cheeky,
“I'm glad you think so.”
You get off the floor and pat at your knees, wiping off nonexistent dust and right as you open your mouth, you hear,
“Holy shit.”
Both your heads whip to the door and your eyes widen as you take in an incredibly flustered Shachi and Penguin. Judging by the bulges in their boiler suits, they'd been standing there quite some time.
“So when's our turn?!” Shachi asks loudly, a nosebleed beginning to drip down his nostrils. With a panicked shout, Law activates a Room and Shambles them both into another area of the ship, both your wide eyes taking in the mop and broom that snap out of thin air and hit the ground where they were standing.
“.... you didn't lock the door?”
Your lips purse to the side for a moment before you anxiously chuckle out,
“Oops?”
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Two weeks later, you had just gotten out of the shower after finishing bathroom duty for the 13th day in a row. Sitting at one of the two hair dryers, you were in the middle of brushing your hair when you suddenly heard,
“I'd like to think you've learned your lesson.” Your head whips up to see Law towering over your sitting form, his arms crossed and head tilted slightly as he takes in the similar position you're in from before.
You go to answer when he cuts you off, a wicked grin on his lips as he muses,
“Though I think you'd learn your lesson better in my office. With the door locked, of course.”
You can't help but grin back as you're suddenly Shambled away from the bathroom.
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district4loading · 21 hours ago
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Thoughts on sana being the type to ask her partner to “kiss it better”
Cooking with Sana is a challenge.
Not because she's bad at cooking or difficult to manage. It's cause she's so distracting in only the best way possible. You always find yourself stealing kisses from her, hugging her or doing anything else for just a little bit of physical affection.
She just looks so cute with her hair put up with her cute little glasses and her little apron. Just so adorable.
This time you're baking croissants together out of boredom. Yes, baking out of boredom. When she brought it up--especially on her day off--you wondered if she'd been hit on the head cause who'd want to stand and bake for hours when relaxing was the better option obviously.
However, like she always did, she managed to get you in the kitchen with her once again.
At this point you've already made the dough. Of course, since you're the stronger one she made you knead it and flatten it out. So now her part is just to cut it in somewhat equal triangular shapes.
She was doing okay when you made the poor decision to sneak up behind her and snake your arms around her waist without knowing what angle she was holding the knife at. When you hear a high pitched yelp escape her lips, you think nothing of it because you assume she's just surprised but when you hear the knife drop on the counter and her frustrated whine, "Babe!" You realize somethings wrong.
So you hum and look over her shoulder just to see that her fingers bleeding. It's bleeding a lot so you're not sure if the cut is big or not, all you know is that it's on the side of her index finger. "I'm so sorry" You back away from her as she turns to face you, holding the wounded hand tightly in her other. You quickly reach over to grab a paper towel, noticing that her bottom lip is poking out.
Still adorable.
"Here, let me see" You take her hand out of hers and press the paper towel on her hands. "Come" You say, leading her to the bathroom where you can clean it and bandage it for her. Not only cause you feel bad but also why on earth would you make her do it herself?
She sits on the edge of the bathtub as she watches you grab the alcohol and the band-aid "It hurts" She pouts, giving you what might just be a death stare.
"I know babe" You sigh "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to" You apologize again because it feels like you can't express just how sorry you are.
You bring it to her and you drop to one knee in front of her, pouring the alcohol onto a cotton ball "I just wanna know what you were thinking to grab me like that when I was literally holding a knife"
"Well" You pause for a moment, hearing her wince when the alcohol connects with the cut "I just couldn't resist you, if anything you should've been more careful because you know I like to get touchy when we cook together"
It's only a joke and Sana knows it but she still glares at you all the same, watching as you snicker a bit. She can't hold up her act though, she ends up laughing with you but not too much. "asshole" She mutters underneath her breath.
You wrap the bandage around her finger "There, all good now?"
Sana pauses for a moment and shakes her head "mm-mm"
"What? Does it still hurt?" She nods, still not giving you a verbal answer "Well what do you want me to do about it?"
"Kiss it better" She puts her hand out in front of you. She has a big smile on her face when she says it and you can tell she's not joking at all. You don't have to think twice about it though, you take her hand into yours and you press your lips against it. You make eye contact with her, noticing that her eyes are still expecting "Go ahead, don't stop till I tell you to"
Now you're smiling and you can't help it as you kiss her finger a ridiculous amount of times.
You're maybe on your 20th kiss when she finally says that you can stop. "Feel better?" Sana pretends to think a bit and then she nods "So shall we get back to the croissants?"
"We shall, but you'll be the one cutting this time" You give her a look as she stands up "I'll be there, with my arms wrapped around you and my head on your shoulder while you do it"
"You know what, I like the idea of that... just don't make me cut myself" you warn.
Sana smiles "That's rich coming from you"
-
A/N: Good morning, afternoon or night wherever you are. If its morning, how about you start your day with some cute sana fluff?
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diezmil10000 · 3 days ago
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i don't feel like there's much to say about my art improvement this year. however, in 2023, i wrote a long retrospective about my art in which i mentioned my goals for 2024, so let's see if i achieved all of them ^w^
"so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year."
this was actually one of the first things i did in 2024. just around this time of last year, i was in the process of making 7 fullbody illustrations for class, depicting my ocs from a visual novel i still haven't finished. i never shared them outside of artfight (😂) because i get shy talking about my ocs in public, but they are still fire and almost no one reads these posts anyway so...
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i had to use so many references for these pictures, from magazine covers to fashion to layout design. i think this was the first time i was actually putting into practise all the knowledge i had learned in my degree, as up to that point i was getting through it kinda passively.
overall, my 2024 was filled with great compositions. who could have known that paying attention to it would lead to better illustrations, right? here are some other highlights i'm still very proud of:
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that leblise piece is probably my favorite piece of art i ever did period. so simple yet so delicious and full of symbolism. the aqours fanart is based on an S shape, from "sunshine", and i felt so smart for coming up with it even though it's really simple. and then there's kanadiamari as always - what i really like about that fanart is that i was able to put my design knowledge into good use again.
"i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that."
before we get into this let me remind everyone that i trace all the time. sometimes i wake up and forget how to draw, so i open an app called Magic Poser and play with the 3D dolls until i have a decent base for what i'm picturing in my mind. but it wasn't until last year that i started pushing the angles of those scenes so that i could get the best of them.
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of course, you need to have good skills in order for your traced pieces not to look like shit. i can work with anime models with innacurate anatomy precisely because i already know where the muscles sit on the body. the suselle artwork is more referenced than traced, in the sense that i first sketched the pose, then re-created it in 3D, then traced it and then re-sketched it. the things i do for yuri orz.
okay this was kind of a tangent. i did improve on this particular point but the reason isn't that i got better at perspective, i just made better use of the tools i have - the result is the same and it's positive, so i'll take it as an achievement!
"and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. […] i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat."
this is a tricky subject. in my 2023 post i showed some examples of what i wanted to keep doing in terms of lineart, and while i certainly got better at not overdoing it, i'm still far from that goal. definitely something i need to keep an eye out for, as i really like it when i manage to get loose with my art.
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not much to say here except that i'm sorry i never posted these farcille sketches. they are 12 in total and the rest of them are porn and i'm too shy to share them with the world. also those furry guys i draw a lot (twice) are me and my and my best friend's fursonas, in case anyone is curious.
"as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too."
i actually think i went backwards here. what i do now is more visually coherent, but my 2024 doesn't shine for the way i use colors in comparison to the previous year. it probably happened because i got too comfortable with the way i post-process my illustrations nowadays, in contrast with how experimental i was when i started playing with filters. a shame, truly, but not a huge downgrade.
"i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. i don't think i'll ever change the content of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)"
not sure about this one either, but i know it's just because i didn't draw a lot in 2024. among finishing my degree and final thesis, organizing stuff for aqours when they came to spain and preparing for my current job, i didn't have much time for yuri brainrot. my best drawings were dunmeshi and lgts fanarts, and i'm glad i got into both of these pieces of media because they still warm my heart today :)
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i'm very proud of all 3 of these artworks, especially the frebkuchen one, i cooked so much there. maybe this skill of mine (the ability to depict intimacy) is the one that's closest to mastery among the ones i have, and that's why i don't see much improvement.
overall, 2024 was a good year, but not my peak. i can't rate it just in terms of improvement, but i can't deny that i like my 2023 artworks more than my current ones either. i think i'm on the right path, and while i don't have any art resolutions for 2025 i hope i can bring better art to the world from now on.
thank you for reading until the end if you did, and i hope you have a nice year!! <3
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2024 art summary!! lots of oc art this year :) i also started painting digitally and it's sooooo fun~~~
(template by PEPPERTODE on deviantart)
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sysig · 1 year ago
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He’s my little meow meow, my darling, my bbygirl (Patreon)
#Doodles#Commander Peepers#I'm soooooo normal about him you guys <3 So normal! <3 <3#*Looking back over the other Little Guys I've collected* Hmmmmmmm Evil Xisuma and Spamton and Sableye and Rick Diggins#I think there might be a theme here#Just casually making Venn Diagrams in my head - Evil X has the red/black - Spamton is trans - Sableye has Gremlin energy - Rick is too tired#And those are just the ones I can think of lol - if you look I did the same stretchy pose with EX when I was still drawing him lol#The Stretch Pose is how you can tell if I like a character lol - they stretchin'? I am infatuated <3#I mean I'm normal I'm totally normal lol#Also had to give him a bbygrl pose - I for the life of me cannot find it again but the reference is very strong in my mind's eye!#Not that I couldn't go for another one at some point lol ♪#Ugh the middle one lol - so that Word of God I mentioned in passing about female Watchdogs#I read it in passing as just a basic research of ''Oh here's what The Original Creator has to say alright neat''#Except that it Immediately made me itchy and I was like ''What. What brain this is not that big of a deal what are you doing''#And I was like ''No I'm being silly about this - just because I don't agree doesn't mean it's a big deal lol''#Except then I had stress dreams and woke up Weird the next day and the last time that happened I left a fandom#And the time before that I wrote 4 consecutive pages of 20-something panels in like 18 hours of consciousness - I have normal reactions lol#But I opted instead to vent to smol about it and she agreed with me so basically I'm just saying I'm correct lol /s#Personally Peepers doesn't strike me as misogynistic - he's very much an Equal Opportunity villain in my eyes!#And yeah I considered a lot of different angles around it but like - based on the text of WOY I just don't buy it#If it's not in the show it doesn't count! For all we know there might not even be any female Watchdogs! Lol#Would also lead to the equally-to-Spamton interesting question of How Does Trans Work in that kind of situation#I've definitely not already put a lot of thought into it don't look at me lol#Don't ask me to write an essay about both of those things I'll do it and where will that leave us lol#ANYway lol ♪ He's still the absolute funnest to draw in distress and discomfort <3 And kneeling! He makes me want to practice :D#I always feel like I can try again and do better! >:3c
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000png · 2 months ago
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i'm starting to look into classes i might want to take next year and like. i feel like i should be chill but i also kinda want to go all in and take a not chill class
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corkinavoid · 5 months ago
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DPxDC "Pick Me Up"
The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.
Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.
Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.
That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:
"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."
Joker sputters.
"Not so scared, I see," he sneers, and, in the next moment, a comically large gun painted in purples and greens is pointed to the girl's forehead, "How about now?"
The girl scrunches her nose and makes a so-so gesture.
"It's kinda meh," she admits, "Like, yeah, points for style, but you know, size doesn't matter. It's all in the technique."
Dick snorts over the comms. It's a bad time for laughing, sure, but the phrase caught him off-guard. This is not what you'd expect to hear from a teen, and definitely not something you'd expect anyone to say to the Joker. Jason's comms are muted, but Barbara knows he also laughed a little.
"Technique, you say?" Joker hisses, pressing the gun closer to the girl's head, and she winces, leaning away from it, almost as if she is disgusted by the touch.
"Yeah, I mean, guns are not that scary anyway. What are you gonna do with them, blast my brains all over the floor? Been there, done that," the girl shrugs, "Kinda nasty, but overall, it's just like slime, only sticky." She pauses and looks to the side, seemingly lost in thought, "Huh, maybe we should have added Borax to it. Or was it baking soda?.."
"Listen here, you little brat," Joker's fingers catch the girl's chin, and his voice becomes sickeningly menacing. Bruce is almost there, just two more minutes. Tim is already grappling onto the wall.
But none of them get to finish.
"Put your dirty fingers away from my sister," a low, cold, and even in a way that speaks of barely contained fury, voice comes from out of the screen.
The camera spins, like whoever is holding it turned really fast, and everyone watching the stream sees a fairly normal guy standing by the window - a turtleneck and ripped jeans, same black hair as the girl, same blue eyes... Wait, they are not blue.
And that's not a guy.
The camera falls down to the floor, and there are a lot of panicked screams coming from the broadcast now, but none of them sound like children's voices. It's the screams of adults, of grown-ass men, and later, someone even claimed they heard Joker's scream among them, too. The picture on camera glitches a few times, and the angle is awkward, but everyone still gets to see how shadows in the room morph into eyes, wide open and green, and how the darkness grows sharp teeth, countless grinning mouths that don't belong to any faces.
Screams turn into gargling and then to quiet whispers, filling the ears of all those listening with countless words in languages they don't know.
Red Robin turns off the recording and looks to that same guy from the levestream, sitting across him on the couch. The guy - Daniel, or Danny, as he introduced himself - looks him in the eyes and raises an eyebrow.
"Okay, and?"
"How did you do it?" Tim asks for the third time this evening. Danny blinks.
"Did what?" He asks, completely incomprehending. Tim groans. He's been trying to get his answers, any answers at this point, from the guy for thirty fucking minutes already. So far, he's got nothing. Danny, whoever the fuck he is, proves to be the most annoying human being on Earth.
"Seven people in a coma, including Joker himself, with no physical injuries and none of the children remember a thing! How?!" He demands, and a girl's face peeks from around the corner:
"I remember!"
Tim snaps his head at her, "What do you remember?"
The girl pauses, blinks, and looks to Danny. Then shrugs, "My brother picked me up from school."
Tim drops his head down and breathes out in frustration. He can't force the information out of civilians, he is a vigilante, not a mafia.
"Would it make you feel better if I promise not to do it again?" Danny asks, and his voice is way too innocent for Tim to believe him. He raises his head to look the guy in his shameless, amused eyes.
"I hate you."
"Thanks," Danny grins.
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nereidprinc3ss · 4 months ago
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fixation
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in which you love spencer reid's hands so much you could... well, you could practically eat them. or at least let him put his fingers in your mouth.
18+ (fluff, suggestive) warnings/tags: finger sucking...lol....., established relationship, ummmm d/s adjacent dynamics, like softdom spencer but there's no sex, pet names, teasing a/n: this was inspired by @gublersg1rl who said 2 nights ago she would suck spencer's fingers as he was reading a book. my beautiful angel with so many great ideas in her beautiful head. anyway this will not be my magnum opus in terms of quality but its just a fun short little thing I hope u like :D
Spencer is reading. 
He got home forty five minutes ago, and he’d hugged you and he’d kissed you—and they were good hugs and kisses, but as you sit curled on the opposite end of the couch from him, watching him read, it doesn’t feel like enough. Three days isn’t the longest he’s been gone, but you missed him like he was gone longer. And now, he’s not truly ignoring you—but he’s not giving you enough attention. It’s unintentional, but it’s making you feel all kinds of needy and overly-affectionate anyway. 
Especially when he’s so gorgeous. Ankle crossed over knee, lithe fingers skimming over the page to keep track of his place. Those hands are truly distracting. It’s unlike you to be struck by such wildly inappropriate thoughts so out of context, but here you are, having been without him for days, practically feverish on the couch as you imagine all the things they could do. All the things they have done. The way they've traced down your bare spine, up your side, so lovingly in the middle of the night... how they've touched you elsewhere...
And... that's enough.
Despite the whole committed relationship thing, you still feel a bit scandalized picturing him like that. And you know from experience these thoughts will only get worse if you stay over here, staring at him, wanting him, so you crawl across the couch and under his arm, settling your head in his lap and looking up at him expectantly. He chuckles—a quiet, dry thing, that says he’s only partially surprised by your behavior. 
“Well hello,” Spencer says, taking one hand off the book to settle on your leg. 
“Hi.”
For a moment he just studies you, affection seeping into his eyes along with the humor already there. “Can I help you?”
“Mhm.”
His brow darts up. 
“With what, baby?”
Baby. Your whole body tingles. He only calls you that when he’s feeling especially soft toward you and your whims. In turn you soften, and you both become rather mushy. 
Unfortunately your brain is not excluded from melting, and you look up at him helplessly. 
“Um…”
Spencer’s hand falls from your knee, taking an unnecessary but appreciated route down your thigh and up your stomach before settling on your cheek. He brushes away a few baby hairs before two knuckles begin drawing soft lines from the corner of your mouth up toward your ear and back again, and your stomach becomes a hail of butterflies. He’s got this soft smile on his face and you love him so much and he’s so sweet and perfect, you could just—
You’re not thinking very clearly when you tilt your head, angling your chin up until you catch his fingers against your lips. His eyes remain on yours as he traces the shape of your mouth with those same two knuckles—until you’re slowly parting, obstructing his path and offering a very different kind of invitation. Spencer’s eyes narrow fractionally and you watch the way his focus changes, the way he only tests the waters at first, letting the tips of his fingers trace the length of your bottom lip, before barely tugging down just enough to feel the soft warmth of the border of it. They skate over the ridge of your teeth and find the tip of your tongue, at which point you can’t help from closing your lips around his fingers, eyes fluttering contentedly as you draw them deeper into your mouth. His brows draw together, and those pretty pink lips part soundlessly like you’re the eighth wonder of the world in a way that has your thighs clenching. You hear the book shut and fall carelessly to the side table. He doesn’t even bother saving his place—too busy bringing that newly freed hand to your hair and combing gently against your scalp. 
It’s strangely calming to have him like this—he’s undeniably with you, undeniably close, against your lips and tongue. All your worries about his distance dissolve and you feel incredibly comforted. With his other hand, his thumb begins stroking a line from the bridge of your nose up your forehead, and you could pass out. 
“Comfy?” He asks after a long moment, slowly withdrawing his fingers from the heat of your mouth. You pout. 
“I was.”
Spencer hums, eyes soft on you. “I don’t think I should be nurturing your oral fixation, angel.”
“You didn’t like it?” You challenge, turning your head inward to nose at his stomach. He  cups your cheek with damp fingers and pointedly turns your head outward again. If he wasn’t so blushy and flustered and cute you might’ve cared more about the feeling of your own spit on your skin. 
“Don’t make it about me.”
You allow a minute to pass in silence. 
Fine.
“I liked it,” you say shyly. 
Spencer’s response is deeply fond as he smiles down at you. “Did you?”
Like he couldn’t tell. 
“Mhm. You should let me do it all the time.”
His smile flickers wider the way it does when he’s about to tease you. 
“I don’t know if you deserve it. I don’t know if you can be good all the time.”
You make a face. “Shut up.”
“Is that what we say when we want something?” Before he can pull his hand away, you nip at his fingers. He laughs. “You’re off to a terrible start. I think you need to work on your manners. Not bite the hand that… goes in your mouth.”
“Is that the saying?”
“I’m pretty sure,” he nods sarcastically, helping you up until you’re sitting across his lap. He lovingly tucks hair behind your ear, eyes warm as they flit across your face up close. “You know, that was incredibly unhygienic. So much bacteria it boggles the mind.”
“Yeah? That kinda turns me on.”
Spencer leans in to kiss you sweetly, choosing your mouth over his worry about bacterial transmission. “You are so psychologically concerning,” he whispers against your lips. You sling your arms around his neck. 
“Because of the bacteria thing or the oral fixation thing?”
His hands settle on your hips. “Both, lovely. For so many reasons.”
It’s only another tease, but you pull back anyway so he can see the full force of your pout. “Don’t say that. It’s mean.”
“I was kidding! It was a joke. I was joking.”
“It was mean.”
“Okay,” Spencer begins, patient and happy to untangle this ridiculous snag if that’s what it takes to make you content again, “Freud’s psychosexual stages of development are contentious at best. I’m not worried about your oral fixation because I don’t really believe in such a thing. I was just teasing you, but I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
“So you’ll let me do it again?”
Spencer pulls you back into another kiss. 
“You’re kind of insatiable, you know that?” 
When you don’t answer, only wait for him to respond, he sighs goodnaturedly. 
“You know you can have any part of me whenever you want it.”
You give him a winning smile and kiss his cheek in reward. 
“You’re so nice, Spence.”
“I thought I was mean.” 
“Now you’re nice.”
“Because you got what you wanted?” You nod enthusiastically. He seems not quite as thrilled, though perhaps distantly amused by his own helplessness when it comes to you. “Yeah, I feel like that happens a lot, doesn’t it?”
But it clearly doesn’t bother him that much. He’s still smiling when you kiss him again. 
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venuslut · 1 year ago
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FANTASIZING ABOUT a needy Choso Kamo ♡︎.
He can’t help it. Ever since you first introduced him to sex, he just can’t get enough. It’s not his fault that your cunt is so addicting, so much so that he’s often begging you to let him fuck you on his cock. It’s not his fault that you moan so beautifully that he can’t help but thrust into you harder so you’ll make more of those pretty sounds for him. It’s not his fault that you taste so good and he has to have you on his tongue, drinking your juices until you’re shaking and crying. He doesn’t mean to be so needy, but you bring out this side of him he can’t control.
How is he supposed to control himself when you walk around in those skimpy clothes, showing off your plump ass and perfect tits? It’s impossible. He’ll try to resist, have some self-control. But it isn’t long before he’s hugging you from behind, dotting wet kisses along your neck and pushing his hard-on into your ass. All while he’s begging you let him feel your wet cunt. And of course you’ll let him, how could you say no to your cute desperate boyfriend.
The minute you agree he has you laid out under him as he fucks his big cock into your tight cunt. Moaning and whimpering about how good it feels to be inside you again, his face red as he pushes every last inch of himself into you. He uses his weight to thrust into you, which only made your head go dizzy. He has you in a lazy mating press and your plush thighs slap against his hips every time he comes down, the sound of Choso’s deep thrusts is so musical, his tip abusing your womb to the point your eyes roll back. His mouth is so filthy too, and the worst part is, is that he doesn’t even realize it. “Fuck, baby... you’re sucking me in... your pussy’s so tight.” He groans into your ear, sucking onto your skin and leaving purple marks behind, intent on marking you as his. Although there was no point since you still had the hickeys from your last encounter, but it was never enough for Choso.
The poor curse is so in love with your body that he’ll go on for hours and hours just playing with your body. If it was up to him, you both would never leave the bed. Who needs to eat when he can just eat your cunt and you can suck his cock? Who needs to sleep when there’s a new position he wants to try? This man will not stop because that’s how addicted he is to your cunt. You curse the curse’s stamina and sometimes wish you had a normal boyfriend, but he usually fucks those thoughts right out of your head before you can try and act on them. “Choso… ngh!— h-hold on, my body…” you mumbled, unable to fully say your sentence. He hits a particularly sensitive spot and you let out a strangled cry, bucking your hips wildly to try and get that same pleasure again. Choso eyed your reaction, angling his hips to continue hitting that spot over and over again til you’re seeing stars and screaming out his name. You had no thoughts about shame, or how you should lower your voice, not when your handsome boy was fucking you within an inch of your life.
“Right there? ‘s that the spot, dove?” He pants, voice hoarse from his overwhelming desire for you. You’ve lost track of time, to obsessed with the way Choso has you creaming around his cock for the nth time. Everything was too much, but you loved it, in an addictive way. The overstimulation was addicting. His words were addicting. The sound of the bed hitting the wall was addicting. His cock was addicting. He was addicting. You always tease Choso about his neediness when in reality, you’re just as needy and obsessed as he is. You can tell Choso is close by the way his cock twitched inside you and how he speeds up his movements, rutting into you with wild abandon and chasing his orgasm.
You throw your head back into a pillow, your vision almost going black as you were consumed with ecstasy. The air was knocked out of your lungs with every snap of his hips, your senses filled with just the pressure of Choso. It felt like you were gonna throw up, but not in a bad way. “Baby… babybabybabybaby! A-ah! Mgn…” you cried out in pleasure, clawing at the sheets below you. Choso’s hands tightened around your hips, his careful grip growing into a bruising hold as he was solely focused on reaching his climax. “Hah— you feel sososososo good, dove. I love you, I love you so much,” he whimpered. It was right there, he could feel it, just a couple more thrusts and he’ll finally have his release. He wants to cum so bad, he needs to cum.
“Hey dove? C-can I fill your pretty pussy with my cum? Wanna cum inside you,” he begged, his voice broken as he pleads with you. “Please, my love… I want to stuff your pussy with my cum, wanna fill you up…” he continues, kissing your ankle and calf to convince you further. You didn’t need much convincing though, you were already to dumb and out-of-it to deny the poor curse. Frantically, you nodded your head, just wanting to feel his hot semen inside you. And you finally got your wish after a few more sloppy thrusts, before Choso goes still and empties his balls into your awaiting cavern. He lets out a guttural moan as ropes of cum spurt out. Slowly, he pulls out, his cock coated in a translucent white, his thighs and pelvis sticky from a mix of sweat and cum.
You both lay there in silence, the sounds of your labored breathing being the only noise echoing through the room. While coming down from your high, you remember that the reason you even got dressed today was because you had work. Annoyed, you lightly smack the upside of Choso’s head, complaining about how he made you late while you go to get out of bed and put your clothes back on. Choso rubs the area where you hit him as he watched you struggle to move and get out of bed, he looks at you like a kicked puppy and he knows he should be sorry for making you late but he can’t find it in him to feel guilty. Instead, Choso reaches out and wraps his arms around you, pulling you back further onto the bed and flushed against his sweaty chest. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and he lines soft kisses to your nape.
“I’m sorry, dove… Why don’t you call out and let me eat your pussy as an apology?”
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vanteguccir · 1 month ago
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── ୨୧ ! TIKTOK TRENDS | PART 5
SUMMARY: 4 times that Y/N and Matt made a couple's trend on tiktok.
WARNING: Kissing (?).
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anons.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
1. We listen, and we don't judge
Y/N's phone was set up, angled perfectly to capture herself and Matt sitting in front of Matt's computer desk in their room, with his arm lazily draped over Y/N’s shoulder, caressing her covered skin.
"Alright, people, welcome back. We’re doing the 'We Listen and We Don’t Judge' trend because, apparently, you guys are crazy to see us admitting some things." Y/N starts, glancing at Matt, who’s watching her through her phone screen with a small smile decorating his features. "Keyword: don’t judge, okay?" She emphasizes, holding up a finger to his face. "I know how you get."
"I’m the least judgmental person, you know." Matt counters, looking directly at her, smirking. "Ladies first."
Y/N looks at the camera dramatically, as if preparing for a confession of a lifetime.
"Okay... so... I’ve been lying about being afraid to get my driver’s license-"
Matt’s jaw drops in faux shock.
"What?!"
"Wait, wait, wait." She quickly holds up her hand. "I say I’m scared, but I’m really not. I just don’t want to drive because I love it when you drive me everywhere so I can be your passenger princess."
Matt covers his face with both hands, groaning.
"Y/N! Are you serious right now?" His voice sounds muffled by his palms.
"Yes!" She giggles. "Because I know you’ll always do it. Even if it's the middle of the night."
He shakes his head, clearly trying not to smile.
"Can't believe I have a second Chris in my life... We listen, and we don’t judge, I guess." He rolls his eyes at her playfully.
"Hey! Don't compare me to Christop-"
"Shh, it's my turn now." Matt straightens up. "Sometimes, when I’m separating our clothes for laundry..." He pauses dramatically.
Y/N narrows her eyes at him.
"What?"
"I... smell your panties to check if they’re, like, really dirty."
Her mouth falls open.
"MATT!"
"What?!" He exclaims defensively. "We listen, and we don’t judge, remember?"
"That’s not listening. That’s borderline psychotic!" She laughs, smacking his arm.
"It’s efficient!" He insists, laughing along with her. "And they always smell good, by the way."
"Okay, okay. That's what intimacy and three years living together do to you, guys." She says, sighing dramatically. "My turn again." Y/N leans forward conspiratorially, her voice dropping to a whisper. "Sometimes, especially during the winter, when there are dirty dishes in the sink, I pretend not to see them, so you’ll wash them."
Matt throws his head back in exaggerated disbelief.
"Are you kidding me?! You make me wash dishes all the time purposefully, then?"
"We listen, and we don’t judge!" She says quickly, pointing at him.
"Y/N, I knew it! I’d be like, 'How did she miss that giant pile of plates?', because I know that Chris doesn't wash his for anything in this world and Nick is cleaner than that."
"It’s selective blindness." She admits, shrugging innocently. "And don't call me dirty, asshole!"
"Unreal." He mutters, but his smile lets it be known that he isn't mad. "Okay, my turn. Remember when I went to Boston by plane alone last month, and I decided last minute I wanted you to come with me?"
Y/N nods.
"Yeah, and you surprised me with a plane ticket. It was so sweet."
"Well, the tickets were super expensive exactly because it was last minute, like a thousand dollars more than when I bought mine." Matt starts, scratching the back of his neck. "But I bought it anyway because I didn’t want us to be on separate planes. If the plane crashed, I wanted us to die together."
Y/N stares at him in shock.
"MATT. WHAT THE-"
"We listen, and we don’t judge!" He defends himself, holding up his hands.
"That is so sweet and so morbid at the same time!" She exclaims.
Matt shrugs.
"It made sense to me at the time."
Y/N takes a deep breath, clearly trying not to laugh too hard.
"Can't believe you spent more than a thousand dollars on a plane ticket to Boston." She shook her head in disbelief.
"Can't blame me for wanting to have my girl back home with me." He muttered, smiling shyly at her.
She pouts, looking at the camera with a 'Are you seeing this cuteness?' look.
"You're really sweet, you know that?" She takes his hand closer to hers, taking it to her mouth and sealing his skin with her lips. "Alright. Here’s another one. I always let you serve me my plate when I cook any meal because I know you’ll put more food on mine than yours."
Matt raises an eyebrow.
"And you call me psychotic?"
"You’re predictable!" She shoots back, grinning. "And the more food, the better."
He chuckles.
"Fine. We listen, and we don’t judge. My turn again. When I go to take a shower and say I forgot to grab my towel..."
Y/N immediately narrows her eyes.
"Oh no. What now?"
"I didn’t actually forget it. I’m just too lazy to grab it myself, so I call you to bring it to me."
"Matthew!" She exclaims, smacking his arm again.
He laughs, unbothered.
"Hey, you bring it every time, so I figured it wasn’t a big deal."
She rolls her eyes, trying not to laugh.
"Of course I do! I don't want you to drip all over our bedroom." Her voice gets high-pitched. "Unbelievable." Y/N takes a deep breath while looking at her phone camera. "Okay, last one from me. When you go record videos with Nick and Chris out of the house, I play Fortnite on your computer."
Matt’s eyes widen.
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"On my account?"
"Yup!"
Matt gasps, scandalized.
"You’re out here ruining my stats?"
"No! I’m good, I promise!"
He narrows his eyes at her, clearly skeptical but amused.
"Chat, she's lucky she's cute."
Y/N grins and leans against him, softly caressing his hand with her fingers.
"Your turn to end it, babe."
Matt thinks for a moment, then grins.
"Alright. Final confession. One time, you needed my help to open this sweet jar I had just bought. It was one of those really stubborn, super-sealed ones, and you couldn’t get it open no matter how hard you tried."
"So...?" Y/N pulls away from him, frowning in confusion.
"The thing is, when I got it open, you looked at me in this way that... let’s just say I felt very appreciative of my strength." He wetted his lips, trying to hide his smile.
"Matt!" She exclaimed, searching his eyes with wide ones, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.
"Wait, wait, it gets better!" He said, waving her off. "So later, I went back to that sweet jar and tightened it as hard as I possibly could just so you'd have to ask me for help again."
Y/N mouth open in disbelief.
"You did not."
"Oh, I absolutely did." He said proudly, his grin stretching from ear to ear. "And it worked! Next day, you were struggling with it again, and there I was, showing up to save your day."
Y/N swatted his arm, though she couldn’t help but laugh.
"You’re the worst! I can’t believe you manipulated me with a sweet jar."
"It’s called strategy, babe." He said, dodging her playful hits. "And you totally fell for it."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
2. A boy who's jacked and kind
The soft hum of Sabrina's song filled the room as Y/N set her phone up on the dresser, already recording, before standing in front of Matt, a sweet smile tugging at her lips as she looked into the front camera. Her hands rested loosely at her sides, and her bright expression mirrored the expectation to finally do the TikTok trend.
Behind her, Matt stood tall, his brown hair slightly messy decorating his straight face. His posture was casual, hands resting on his hips, as he waited for the right moment.
As the verse "A boy who’s jacked and kind” began to play, Matt immediately lowered himself behind her, bending slightly to grab Y/N by her thighs. The motion was swift but careful, his hands wrapping securely around her legs just above her knees. Without breaking a sweat, he hoisted her into the air, lifting her as though she weighed nothing.
Y/N let out a loud, surprised laugh, but it didn’t break her radiant smile to the phone. She reached down instinctively to hold onto his shoulder, her fingers brushing the collar of his pink shirt for stability.
Matt straightened up, effortlessly placing her on his right shoulder. His grip on her thighs was firm yet gentle, ensuring she wouldn’t lose her balance. With Y/N sitting comfortably on him, Matt turned his attention back to the front camera.
Grinning brightly, he flexed his left bicep exaggeratedly, his arm bulging just enough to make the flex appear, a contrast to his lean frame.
The two of them looked like they were in Disneyland, their expressions full of joy. Matt’s smile stretched wide, his boyish expression evident as he proudly held Y/N on his shoulder. Meanwhile, Y/N’s laughter was silent as she leaned forward slightly, her cheeks flushing with amusement.
When posted, Y/N made sure to put the caption as: those push-ups are really getting him somewhere.
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3. Being rude to my triplet's girlfriend to see his reaction
The phone was already recording when the Crumbl Cookies were neatly arranged on the wooden table. The pastel pink box was opened, revealing an assortment of cookies that looked almost too pretty to eat. Y/N sat between Matt and Chris, her eyes wide with excitement as she leaned closer to it. Nick stood opposite them, fiddling with his phone to adjust the camera angle.
"This is so cute." Y/N said, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm. "I can’t believe I’m finally doing a Crumbl Cookie review with you guys!"
Matt smiled at her, his hand naturally finding its place on her knee beneath the table.
"You'll love the lemon one." He said, his tone warm and encouraging.
Chris and Nick exchanged a quick glance, their smirks barely concealed. They had planned this little prank earlier that morning, where they would pretend to be rude to Matt's girlfriend just to see his reaction. Y/N was in on it, of course, and she’d been surprisingly eager to play along.
"Alright, let’s get this over with." Nick said, his tone sharp as he rolled his eyes dramatically, sitting by Chris's side. "Can we just start? I don’t want to sit here all day."
Y/N blinked, her smile faltering just slightly.
"Oh, um, okay..." She said softly, glancing at Matt, who immediately noticed the change in her tone.
"What’s the rush?" Matt asked, narrowing his eyes at Nick.
"Yeah, Nick." Chris chimed in, turning slightly so he could look into Nick's eyes. "Not like this is going to be a life-changing experience or anything. It’s just cookies."
Y/N bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, her hand fidgeting with her napkin.
"I mean, I’m just really excited." She said, her voice quieter now, playing her part. "I've seen you guys do this when you went back to Boston, and I really wanted to do it too."
Matt’s jaw tensed as he looked between his brothers.
"What the fuck is wrong with you two? You both like some of those."
Nick scoffed, picking up a cookie and taking a careless bite.
"Honestly, I don’t get the hype. They’re just cookies. We've tried all of it with Nate already. You don’t have to act like it’s a five-star restaurant or something."
Chris snorted, grabbing his own cookie and making a point to ignore Y/N entirely.
"Yeah, and she hasn’t even tried them yet. Bet she’s gonna overreact or something."
Matt’s hand left Y/N’s knee as he sat up straighter, his protective instincts kicking in.
"What the fuck are you guys on about?" He snapped, his voice sharper now. "Why are you being such assholes?"
Y/N pretended to shrink in her seat, her lips pressing together as if she were holding back tears. Matt noticed immediately and turned his full attention to her.
"Babe, hey." He said softly while his hands found hers, squeezing her fingers, his voice and act a stark contrast to the anger he’d just directed at his brothers. "Don’t listen to them, okay? They’re just being idiots. We can eat all of it if you want to."
Y/N nodded, her eyes wide as she tried to maintain her act.
"I just... I was really excited, but maybe it’s not a big deal. We can do another-"
"No, it is a big deal." Matt said firmly, his gaze flicking back to Nick and Chris with a glare that could melt ice. "What are you two on about? She’s excited about this, and you’re just shitting on it for no reason."
Chris held up his hands in mock surrender.
"Alright, chill, Matt. It’s not that serious."
Matt’s eyes narrowed, his voice rising.
"Not that serious? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re being rude as hell to my girlfriend. How is that not serious?"
Nick laughed nervously, clearly trying to stay in character but faltering under Matt’s hard stare.
"We’re just saying it’s not a big deal. No need to get all worked up."
Matt scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.
"You’re unbelievable. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Do you not know how to treat people with respect?"
Y/N placed a gentle hand on Matt’s arm, trying to calm him down.
"Matt, it’s okay..."
"No, it’s not okay." He said, his voice softening as he looked at her but still laced with frustration. "You don’t deserve to be treated like this, especially not by them." He pointed at his brothers with disdain. "You two can get out of here if it's so hard to eat cookies, and-"
Chris finally cracked, unable to hold back his laughter any longer, interrupting the middle triplet.
"Okay, okay, stop. Matt, it’s a joke!"
Nick followed suit, laughing as he raised his hands defensively.
"Yeah, it’s a TikTok trend! We were just messing with you to see how you’d react."
Matt froze, his brows furrowing as he processed their words.
"A trend?"
Y/N bit her lip, finally breaking character as she let out a soft laugh.
"Yeah... I knew about it. I’m sorry, babe, but we wanted to see how you’d feel in this situation."
Matt’s expression shifted from anger to disbelief as he leaned back in his chair.
"You’re kidding me."
Chris grinned, still laughing.
"Dude, you were ready to kill us. You’re such a good boyfriend. It’s actually insane."
"You guys are fucking idiots." Matt ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head with a mix of exasperation and amusement. "I'm going to bed. C'mon, Y/N."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
4. Rating kisses
The warm glow of fairy lights lit up the cozy bedroom as Y/N adjusted her phone on her right hand, Matt's fingers brushing against her thigh as she settled by his side on the edge of the bed.
"So." Y/N began. "This filter gives us ten different types of kisses, and we have to rate each one of them."
Matr tilted her head, smirking.
"And this is your excuse to receive ten kisses from me in one sitting?"
Y/N gasped dramatically, her hand flying to her chest.
"Excuse me? This is for science! We are conducting a very serious experiment here."
Matt rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his smile.
"Fine. Let’s see how you do, Ms. Science."
She hit the screen, and the filter started spinning before landing on the first kiss: Cheek Kiss.
Matt leaned closer, cupping her face with one hand as he pressed a soft, warm kiss to her cheek, lingering just long enough to make her blush. He pulled back, a smug look on his face.
"Well?" He prompted, his eyebrows wiggling jokingly.
"Hmm... I’ll give it a 2." She shrugged, biting back a grin when seeing his reaction to her saying. "It was nice, but we’ve got nine more to go. Gotta leave room for improvement."
Matt muttered something under his breath about "ungrateful test subjects", but the filter moved on to the next kiss: Neck Kiss.
Y/N’s lips curved into a large grin, and her cheeks turned pink.
"Don’t make this weird, Matthew."
"Oh, I would never." He said, his voice dripping with mock innocence.
He scooted closer, gently brushing her hair aside. His lips brushed against the curve of her neck, soft and slow, sending a shiver down her spine. She let out an involuntary squeak, his warm breath tickling her skin, and Matt pulled back with a satisfied smile.
"Okay." She said, trying to compose herself. "That’s a 3."
"Damn right it is." He said, leaning back triumphantly.
The next kiss popped up: Forehead Kiss.
Matt’s expression softened immediately. He reached out, cupping her face with both hands, bending her head before leaning in to press a tender kiss to her forehead. It wasn’t rushed or playful, just sweet and sincere, filled with affection.
Y/N closed her eyes for a moment, her heart melting at the gesture. When she opened them, her voice was soft.
"That’s a 4. I really love this one."
Matt smiled, his thumb brushing over her cheek.
"I do, too."
The fourth kiss was Spiderman Kiss.
Matt immediately leaned back, his head hanging on the air above the mattress, almost bending his whole spine with his hair falling around.
"Alright, let’s do this." He said, his voice muffled by his awkward position.
Y/N laughed, leaning over him and pressing an upside-down kiss to his lips, the angle making it clumsy but undeniably sweet.
They pulled apart, both laughing.
"Okay, that’s a 7." Y/N said, still giggling. "Cute, but kind of impractical."
"Agreed." Matt said, sitting back up and rubbing his aching neck.
The next kiss was Nose Kiss.
Y/N laughed softly as Matt leaned in again, rubbing their noses together in an exaggerated Eskimo kiss before pecking the tip of her nose lightly.
"You're adorable." She looked into his eyes for a second. "I’ll give it a 5."
Then came the Bite Kiss.
Matt’s grin turned mischievous.
"Now this one, I'm the best at."
"Don’t be too hard!" Y/N warned, but her voice wavered slightly. "You left a bruise on my shoulder the last time you decided that biting me was a good idea."
He ignored her comment and lifted her arm, his teeth closing around the exposed skin. He pulled back with a boyish grin not even a second later, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
"It's romantic. You have to accept that." Matt rolled his eyes playfully, kissing quickly the spot he had just bitten.
"Shut up. Now, that’s a 9 just because I'm sure there's worse than that."
"Hey! There are no bad kisses around here." Matt's voice got high-pitched.
The next was Air Kiss. They both leaned back, dramatically blowing kisses at each other with exaggerated sound effects.
"That’s an 8." Y/N declared.
"Okay." Matt nodded.
The next kiss, Hand Kiss, took a more romantic turn. Matt gently took her hand in his, his thumb brushing over her knuckles before he lifted it to his lips. His kiss was slow and deliberate, his eyes locking with hers as he pulled away.
Y/N’s heart fluttered.
"Okay, kind sir, that’s a 6. Sweet, but it doesn’t beat the others."
Matt pouted.
"Tough crowd."
When Foot Kiss appeared, Y/N recoiled.
"No way. Absolutely not."
"Come on, we’ve committed this far!" Matt argued, leaning down and grabbing her bare foot before she could escape. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of it, grinning as she dissolved into laughter, kicking against his hands lightly, causing the phone to tremble.
"That’s a 10." She said through her giggles, trying to breathe in while sitting up again.
"Fair." He admitted, wiping his lips jokingly.
Finally, the last kiss appeared: Lip Kiss.
Matt’s teasing demeanor softened as he leaned in, his hand cupping her jaw and his thumb caressing her cheek. His lips met hers in a slow, lingering kiss that made the rest of the world fade away. It was gentle but filled with so much love that Y/N felt her heart swell in her chest.
When he pulled back, she looked at him with a dazed smile.
"That’s a 1. Obviously."
Matt grinned, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
"How does it feel to scientifically prove I’m the best kisser ever?"
Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes to her phone camera.
"Don’t let it go to your head, King of Kisses."
"Too late." Matt said, pressing another kiss to the side of her head.
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dreamsteddie · 23 days ago
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Nancy knows what people think when they see her and Steve together these days. People mostly include Robin Buckley who, despite what they both say, Nancy doesn't completely believe isn't carrying some kind of torch for the man.
They aren't dating, but it's obvious to anyone who knows them that's what Nancy is angling for. She's not subtle, and she's not trying to be. Doesn't see any reason why she should be. But she knows what it looks like. Nancy Wheeler, fresh off an amicable but heartbreaking end to her relationship with Johnathan Byers has turned tail for a rebound with former boyfriend Steve Harrington. She's using him. She's leading him on. She's going to break his heart, again.
The truth is that Nancy has always liked Steve, was in love with Steve for a fleeting moment when they were both young and stupid and full of mistakes waiting to be made and in the end they had hurt each other, misunderstood each other, too many times to last through their tumultuous teenage years.
The Nancy and Steve of 1984 couldn't have loved each other right, but Nancy knows in her heart that the Nancy and Steve of 1987 could make something beautiful.
Steve is so different from who he used to be. There's a steadiness in him that he always tried to emulate but never fully embodied until the summer of 1985. He always knew how to make her laugh, how to get her to tap into that adventurous spirit within her and live life, but now he also makes her feel safe.
She wants to hold him the way he used to hold her. Wants to whisk him away to New York and build a life perfectly balanced between her ambition and his steadfastness. So she's putting everything she has into rekindling those embers that have always smoldered between them into a steady fire.
She just has to convince Robin that she's in it for the long haul this time.
------
Robin thinks that before she met Steve Harrington her life was never so much like a soap opera.
Her best friend seems to attract danger, betrayal, and romance to him like the world is full of moths and he's the only flame for miles. It would be funnier if it wasn't so god damn annoying sometimes.
Steve doesn't know it, despite how much he insists on being some kind of love expert, but he's got two very eligible bachelors vying for his hand at the moment. She's pretty sure they both see themselves as tragic heroes in this tale of romance, but from her vantage point, it's more like two ornery cats fighting for the prized spot of their owner's lap.
Nancy and Eddie have made themselves both near-permanent fixtures at the Family Video. Ostensibly, they come in because Hawkins is still in the process of rebuilding and there isn't much to do at the moment outside of wandering the woods, loitering at the convenience store, and watching movies at home. In actuality they're both trying to monopolize as much of Steve's time as possible, each trying to lock down his weekend plans before the other.
The first couple of weeks it was funny just to watch, now the only enjoyment she gets out of the whole circus is ruining their plans. She relishes the pissed-off-priss look she gets from Nancy when she asks Steve to go to the drive-in the next town over and Robin turns it into a group outing instead. It's equally funny to watch Eddie's puffed-up shoulders droop when he can't figure out a way to say no to Robin enthusiastically asking if she can join them at the trailer to smoke up on a Saturday night.
In truth, as much as she enjoys messing with them, Robin knows who she wants to win this war. She knows too much about Steve and Nancy's past and all the ways they weren't good for each other to trust her deceptively fragile best friend in Nancy's capable hands.
Eddie, on the other hand...well she's still going to make him work for it before she throws him a bone.
------
Eddie's never been one to fall in love.
He's had crushes, shared a few kisses with girls and boys alike, and lost his virginity in the same fumbling but meaningful way most teens do.
But love? He's never had that before, wasn't sure what it would even feel like.
It turns out that for Eddie, being in love feels a lot like being an overgrown house plant that's finally been moved into suitably a larger pot.
You see, Eddie knows a lot about growing up on his own. Raising himself and finding ways to survive, if not thrive, with a distinct lack of nurturing. He knows how to grow under someone, to grow under the clumsy guidance of his uncle Wayne who never intended to become a parent. And most of all he knows a hell of a lot about growing despite. Growing under the harsh boot forever trying to push him back into the hard dirt he came from.
It's something else entirely to grow with someone in the way he's been growing with Steve.
Steve who was there when he woke up, almost equally as injured as Eddie himself after a second, world saving round with Vecna. Steve who let Eddie lean on him in the difficult month of physical and emotional recovery that came next. Who helped Eddie come to terms with the new reality he was living under the way Steve wished someone had been there for him after his first encounter with the Upsidedown. Steve, who on paper should have been one of the people pushing him down, always gave Eddie the space to be himself and never tried to force either of them into a box they didn't fit.
Eddie knows he's not The Girl. He's not the one who got away, he's not the stalwart princess in one of his campaigns who saves the day herself but still gets the guy. He's not Nancy Wheeler.
But he's also not a quitter, and even if everything about the world and the narrative arc of their lives says that Steve will never end up with him, Eddie knows he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't put his hat in the ring for the hand of the fair Sir Steve.
------
Steve's not stupid.
He knows that there's something happening between Nancy, Eddie, and himself. Knows that if he chooses to look a little closer, to examine why exactly all his weekends are suddenly booked up and Robin has taken to stealing the Recese's Pieces off the shelf whenever either one of them comes into the store like she's settling in for a show, he would come to the conclusion that two of his best friends are essentially courting him in competition with each other.
But Steve isn't looking closer.
His mom always said that he was just like his father, too stubborn for his own good.
Robin says he's a control freak, pushing non-life-threatening problems off until he knows how to deal with them on his own terms.
The truth is Steve already knows how this will end, and he knows how this should end.
Because in the eyes of society, in the arc of the narrative, Steve and Nancy should already be making plans to move out to New York and start a life together. Steve should be looking at apartments while Nancy finalizes her class schedule. He should be looking into getting a job at his dad's New York office to support his future wife through her college education where they both know she'll breeze through her classes and move onto the world-changing career she was always meant to have, while Steve stays home with their children like a perfect little modern family.
And the thing is, if the story had gone like it was supposed to, if the world had been saved the fourth time around and Eddie Munson had died on the cold, hard ground of the Upsidown, that's probably exactly the future that would have happened and Steve would have never known to not be content with it. But Eddie did make it, and while Steve mourns the future he could have had, he knows it's not the one he's going to choose in the end.
Even though Steve knows exactly what will happen when he allows himself to face the ever-mounting tension between the three of them, it's scary to take that plunge.
Everything about Steve's world up until Robin has told him that what he's going to choose will damn him forever, and even if he's never put much stock into God and the church, he knows that the future in front of them will never be easy. There's a part of him that wants to take the easy way out. He's never been attracted to a man before Eddie, never had to imagine himself loving someone discreetly, and the thought of it makes his heart hurt prematurely. It would be simpler, he knows, to choose the path most taken.
But Steve has always thought more with his heart than his brain, and he knows that after everything they've been through, after all the time they've spent healing together and growing as one that he could never choose anyone but Eddie.
The time is coming for him to make his final decision, he can feel it, but for now he'll let them sit in this liminal space a little longer.
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crepezinhos · 4 months ago
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"Show me how you want this, you little slut!"
That was basically all you've heard from him in the last couple of hours. Arched at an impossible angle, face staring at the roof because of your poor hair being so rudely pulled in his direction, moaning and whining like crazy as he relentlessly took you to paradise with his swift thurts, your hands and legs shaking due to the exhaustion of being at that position for him. He had also called you so many names at this point that it even made you wonder if he was really just 'stressed' from work. But you couldn't deny you loved it when he was willing to fulfill every single corner of your hungry pussy just because you felt slightly horny, so you obeyed his command, lifting your shaky knees just so he could have an even better vision of your ass with the marks of the slaps of his hand, causing the grip of his other hand in your hips to tighten to a point where he could break them if he wanted to and a low groan to roam inside his throat.
"Good girl... now stay like this f'me until I'm done, okay?"
After all, who would've guessed the same man that railed you so good that he satisfied the next 5 months of sex... was the same one giving you tea like he wasn't reason for you to be looking at him so exhausted and broken? Trying to decipher how did he manage to act so normal after letting all his secret desires to come out of its cage and take over his consciousness again?
"What is it? Don't you want some tea?"
Diluc Ragvindr, Kinich, Tartaglia/Childe, Kamisato Ayato, Shikanoin Heizou, Cyno, Wriothesley, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Al Haitham, Neuvillette.
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appocalipse · 6 months ago
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the same thing ・❥・b. barnes
summary: during a mission, you put yourself in harm's way to protect bucky. back at the avengers compound, he wants to know why. | 1.4k words, angst with a happy ending
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
"You should be resting."
You don't turn your head as the familiar voice comes from behind you, too focused on the delicate art of making the perfect sandwich to look away. You are a woman on a mission. "I was hungry."
A few seconds later, he's standing next to you, leaning back against the countertop with arms folded across his broad chest. "It's been less than twelve hours since they patched you up."
He's not going to stop hovering, you realize, because that's what Bucky does when he's worried.
"Want half?" Maybe you can distract him with food.
He regards the towering monstrosity on the cutting board and the chaotic layers of meat, cheese, and veggies sticking out at all angles.
You can't help but grin as you slap another slice of bread on top. "A quarter, then?"
Bucky has the audacity to look offended. "I'm not eating that thing."
You cradle the plate in your left hand, holding the sandwich with your right, and give him a pointed look. "Your loss."
Bucky just watches, arms still crossed, as you take a huge bite. His blue eyes remain narrowed, his mouth pressed into a thin line. He's like a one-man intervention waiting to happen. You shrug and wander over to the kitchen table.
Sitting down is a bit of an effort. The wound on your side pulls as you slowly lower yourself onto the chair, but if you can keep from grimacing too hard, Bucky won't be able to tell, will he?
Your smile probably gives you away. He narrows his eyes further. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I'm hungry?"
"No." Bucky takes a step forward. "I meant why did you get between me and that shot?"
Good question. The answer is embarrassing and you'd sooner walk barefoot over hot coals than tell him the truth.
"Hm?"
Another step. "I have superhuman healing powers."
"I'll live."
"It was stupid."
"You're ruining my—ow," you mutter, dropping the sandwich as you instinctively put your hand over your bandage. There goes the carefully maintained poker face. You force yourself to remove your hand and look up at Bucky with what you hope is an innocent expression, even as your side throbs in protest. "My sandwich. You're ruining my sandwich. Are you sure you don't want a bite?"
Bucky is too smart to take the bait. He moves around the table, coming to stand in front of you. The whole 'arms-crossed-stern-glare' thing again. It would be intimidating if you didn't know him so well.
"You could've been killed," he's like a dog with a bone, you swear.
"But I wasn't," you say pointedly. "I'm fine."
"Fine? You were shot."
"Will you just let it go? It doesn't even...hurt...that much," you lie.
It will take a while for the super-soldier serum in your blood — a weaker variation of the same stuff that runs through Bucky's veins — to kick in and accelerate your healing.
Bucky exhales. He looks about ready to give you an earful, but then his gaze shifts and he notices the way you're holding your side, how stiffly you're sitting.
You move your traitorous hand away like you've been burned.
"How bad is it?"
"Huh?" you say in a deliberately casual tone. "It's...totally fine. Not bad, really. Don't worry. I don't even feel it."
There's the reason why you've never been a spy. You can't lie to save your life, apparently.
Or maybe just not to Bucky.
"Okay. It hurts, like, just a little bit...like—like not even hurts hurts, just..." you trail off with a grimace as he comes closer. "More of an itch?"
"An itch?" Bucky sounds dubious.
"More of a burn," you concede. "A...mildly annoying but totally manageable sort of a burn."
"You are a terrible liar."
"Okay, so it hurts," you snap, the last vestiges of your patience vanishing. "I have an extensive hole in my side, I get it. It's not—I don't want you to feel bad about it. It's really not terrible, I can take it."
Bucky shakes his head. "What if it had been worse? What if they'd shot you somewhere vital?"
"They didn't."
"But what if they had?"
"Then I would have died!"
Bucky looks at you like you just kicked him. "Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say."
You open your mouth, then close it.
"You think I want that?" he asks softly.
"No." You suddenly feel very small. "Of course not, I just...just..."
"Just what?"
"I don't know," you admit with a sigh. "It's just that you are...people need you, you know? And you have a life, people who care about you, but I'm just..."
A nobody. A girl with no past, who can barely make sense of her present.
"...it would be better if it was me. That's all."
"It would never be better if you were hurt."
"Bucky—"
"You don't get it, do you?" he asks in a low voice. "People need you too."
You roll your eyes. "Please. You mean the team?"
"Me," Bucky says pointedly. "You think it's easy for me? When you get hurt? It kills me."
The sandwich lays forgotten on the table, squashed flat under your clasped hands. "It...kills you?"
He just looks at you for a long moment.
Your heart flutters in your chest. You have a sudden, intense urge to break the silence with a terrible joke, a quip, something light and witty to dispel the heaviness in the air and make this moment go away. But before you can open your mouth, Bucky shakes his head.
"You kill me."
Okay, that's not where you thought this was going. "What?"
"When you say stuff like that. When you make it sound like you don't matter, like it's okay for you to get hurt. Or worse. It's not."
Oh.
"Bucky," you try again, with a more serious tone. "I don't—"
"Stop saying that," he cuts you off.
You realize your mouth is still hanging open and snap it shut.
"You want to know what I think?" Bucky is so close now you could reach out and touch him, if you were brave enough. "I think that you got this...thing in your head, that you're not good enough, or strong enough, or that you're broken somehow. I think that you forget that it's okay to want things. I think that maybe you think nobody needs you. That no one wants you."
You swallow. You're afraid to say anything, to move, because your heart is hammering against your ribs and Bucky is looking at you like he can see straight into your soul.
"But I do."
"Do...what?" you whisper.
"Want you."
It's the last thing you expect to hear. "Bucky, you don't mean that."
His voice drops an octave. "Don't tell me what I mean."
Your cheeks are burning. You feel pinned under his gaze. Your side is throbbing again and you have a mouthful of butterflies and it's all just too much.
You move to get up but only make it halfway before the wound pulls again and you wince. "Shit."
"Where do you think you're going?" Bucky reaches out to help you, one hand braced against your shoulder as you sink back down into the chair. His expression has softened. "You need to rest."
You really want to kiss him right now.
It's the closest he's ever been to you, perhaps. You can feel his breath on your face.
"I need to...? You really confuse me, Barnes."
"How so?"
"Well, first you tell me that I kill you, and then you say you want me. It's kind of a mixed message—"
"I'm not interested in being just friends with you," Bucky cuts you off abruptly. "Is that clear enough?"
Your lips part but nothing comes out. There's a warm, tingling sensation in your chest and you suddenly can't breathe properly. "That's—you—"
Bucky smirks, just a little. He looks almost...proud of himself? Like he's happy he's rendered you speechless for once.
You decide to take a page from his book and put him on the spot. "And what do you think I want?"
"I don't know," he murmurs, leaning even closer. "But I hope it's the same thing."
His lips brush against yours, soft and gentle. He pulls away and you want to chase after him but then he's back again and kissing you harder this time, all teeth and tongue and ragged breathing and heat.
You close your eyes. Your head is spinning and you can't get enough air but you're kissing him back now, both hands coming up to fist in his shirt, holding on for dear life.
His mouth trails down your neck, leaving hot kisses along your jawline. You let out a breathy sigh.
"Is that...supposed to help me heal faster, mhm?"
Bucky just smiles against your skin.
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kisses4reid · 5 months ago
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sleep talking | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,
fluff, one bed trope, r sleep talks, mutual pining
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You lined up two pillows in the middle of the bed, fluffing them upright to create a barrier. Spencer smiled, emerging from the bathroom with wet hair and classic plaid pants. His black tshirt stuck to him slightly, and you had to pinch yourself behind the pillow wall to rip your eyes off of him.
“What’s this?” He asks, bending down at his bedside table to charge his flip phone. Your hands start fidgeting and you smile sheepishly,
“I’m a very active sleeper. Also, you hate germs. I doubt sleeping in the same bed as someone makes you sleep better.” Spencer sits down and covers his lower body in the soft duvet the hotel had washed freshly just the night before.
Although he looks casual and calm, like being roomed with you is a reoccurring situation, his heart palpitates under his ribs.
Maybe he didn’t want the pillow barrier, but it didn’t matter - if you wanted it, he’d agree.
He shrugs, smelling of coconut soap and linen. You turn your face away to smile slightly. David knew exactly what he was doing when he roomed you two together. You tugged your sleep shirt down and lean again the head board, clasping your book from the bedside table - an escape from your own feelings.
But there’s a gaze. It disrupts your senses and you turn your head to meet hot chocolate eyes and a shy smile.
“Thank you for thinking of me.” He whispers, and your eyes dart from his eyes to his lips.
“It’s okay. It’s better than you spraying down the bedsheets.” You jest, and he breathes out a tired laugh. Your eyes hold each others before you glance away to your book, and Spencer grabs his own.
It’s almost domestic. The aircon is at a comfortable, warm temperature (you both hate the cold), the bedsheets are clean, and the lamps are a warm glow that illuminates the room dimly. The only sound is soft breaths and turning pages.
It’s the calmest you’ve been in years.
It’s 2:34am, and Spencer’s just woken up to the soft whispers emitting from your side of the bed. He lifts his head, curious and somewhat concerned. You could be having a nightmare, or maybe you’re sick - or maybe you simply couldn’t sleep. But no, it was none of those.
You warned him.
“Spencer.”
“Yeah?” His voice croaks, confused. You were still. He rubs his eyes and tries to make out if you’re awake or not.
“Oh, you’re here?”
Spencer furrowed his brows and then widened his eyes, ‘I’m an active sleeper’.
“Don’t leave, okay?” You continue, and he smiles, laying his head back down. The pillows are flat on the bed, a consequence of your own sleeping habits, and it gives Spencer a perfect view.
Your hair is sprawled over the pillow, one piece covering your right cheek as you face him with a calm expression.
“I won’t.” He replies, heart aching a bit at your longingfull words. It’s silent for a few seconds before your hand reaches over the pillow, just falling short of his shoulder.
“But you’re so… far away.” You pout in your sleep and his heart crumbles. Spencer has no idea what you’re dreaming over, but whatever it is seemed solemn. He hesitantly outstretched his hand to wipe that piece of hair away, but he stopped short when you continued, “I don’t like it when you’re far away… m’feel lost…”
He picks up the barrier pillows and softly places them lower on the bed, shuffling forward slowly and laying his head down on his pillow (that’s now only a few inches away from yours). You smile in your sleep before going calm again, and Spencer thinks you’ve finished your sleep-talking before you let out one more soft whisper.
“That’s better.”
You wake up on your back, feet resting on a pillow and body entangled in the soft duvet. And Spencer’s there laying on his stomach, elbows pointed out and sleeping face angled towards yours. He looks gorgeous.
His hair is a mess, and there’s a piece stuck in his mouth, but his skin looks slightly tan and so clear. His eyelashes flutter slightly but he doesn’t wake - you try not to focus on how his shirts ridden up.
You turn towards him and lift the blanket up to cover his back. The warmth of the room, and the scent emitting from the man beside you lulls you to ignore the time crunch of your early flight, and drift back into the best sleep you’ve had in years.
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