#the panic attacks tend to overwhelm me a lot

[leighsartworks216]

The Calm After The Storm

Sylus x gn!Reader

I know it isn't Christmas anymore but the vibes persist in my notes app

Warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, silly, Christmas, alcohol, drinking, kissing, cuddling, some family drama

Word Count: 834

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You scrub a hand down your face, as if it could wipe away all the stress and overwhelm from the last few days. Booking flights, packing bags, wrapping gifts, dealing with your parents' nagging and your extended family's... whole deal. You can't wait to go back home.

Sylus sighs as he settles down beside you. His arm immediately wraps around your shoulders, drawing you into his side where you belong.

He's been your rock through all of this. When you start to lose your head to the holiday season, he's there to reel you back in. It was a real catch 22, though. He could be there to block your family's questions and interrogations, but that only brought more questions to the surface.

How did you two meet? How long have you been together? When is he going to propose? Will we finally have some grandkids? Why isn't he with his family? How big is he? (Asked by your great grandmother, utterly shamelessly.) And on, and on, and on.

For all the headache it brought you, he didn't seem too phased by the excitement. With all the grace of a businessman, he deflects, redirects, and obfuscates just enough to satisfy their questions without giving them too much of a rope to tug on.

Now that you've finally got a moment to yourself - all your relatives gone, your parents off to bed - all you want to do is sit on the couch and come down from it all.

Sylus is quiet. You know it's for your sake, to give you all the (metaphorical) space you need. All the power is in your hands to start a conversation. All he does is hold you close, rub circles into your arm, and offer you the wine glass in his other hand.

You grin wryly as you accept it. It's fruity, sweet - definitely not to his tastes. "Is this the one my nana got you?"

"Mhm," he hums. "It's a nice gesture."

You chuckle. "She had no idea what to get you. I mentioned that you like to drink, but she's... Well, she tends to gift other people things she likes."

You settle deeper against him, cradling the glass to yourself as you lean your head against his shoulder. He presses a tender kiss to your head.

"Is it always that chaotic?"

"No." You tilt your head up to look at him. "It's usually a lot worse."

He chuckles lowly. "I'm glad they were on their best behavior for me, then." He brushes his nose against yours, drawing out the peace of the moment just a while longer. He's had to severely cut back on how affectionate he gets to be with you to avoid encouraging even more marriage and children questions; he really wants to savor this for as long as possible.

The lights of the Christmas tree in the living room dance across the planes of his face. Every now and then, the red catches on his iris. Or the gold does, and gives him a draconic look. He's beautiful. Ethereal. Your cousin took one look at him, at his arm lazily wrapped around your waist, and gaped in awe at you. The only reason she couldn't get a chance to get Sylus alone and try to steal him is because he was too insistent on staying by your side through it all, whispering teasing remarks in your ear and making sure you weren't about to have a panic attack.

It felt really good being able to put her in her place at dinner, when she purposefully vied for the seat beside Sylus's. He'd ignored her the whole time, save for a politely dismissive phrase or two. After she stole your boyfriend from you in 9th grade pulling the same stunts that she tried tonight, you had no sympathy for the teary-eyed pout she pulled on her way out the door.

You lean up that last little bit. He ducks his head down to ease the strain on your neck, meeting you in a honeyed kiss. Sweet, warm and unhurried. You taste like the wine, hints of the bitter alcoholic sting softened by the fruity sweetness clinging to your lips. This may be his new favorite wine, if only for the way it tastes on you.

You pull away slowly. He leaves a few chaste kisses on your lips, chasing after the lingering sweetness, before finally humming his satisfaction. As soon as you both get home, he's going to make up for all the lost time. For now, he tucks your head under his chin, holds you in front of the tree, and basks in his first Christmas spent with you.

"Merry Christmas, Sy."

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart." He can't wait to celebrate with you again next year, crazy family and all.

You take a slow sip of the wine, basking in the silence for all of one minute. “Sy?”

“Mhm?”

“We’re taking the jet back home. I can’t be sat sandwiched between two screaming babies again.”

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko

[nothoughtsjustluxiem]

TW/ mention of panic attacks

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Finding Out You Have Panic Attacks

A/N: Not requested. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't calm down. It's so hard to sleep. I think nights are the worst. This happened after my dad passed when I'd break out in stress hives almost every day for a year 😅 If anyone knows any tricks or tips or hacks, please let me know. I hope this can offer comfort for anyone experiencing similar issues 💕💖💓🩷💗💝💘

Butcher wasn't sure what was going on. Truthfully, he thought you were dying. All of a sudden, you're gasping, trying to catch your breath. You're shaking, curling into yourself. Tears are welling up in your eyes. You can barely explain what's going on and what you're thinking, and he isn't very comforting in the moment. He panic himself, asking you what you need. You don't know, though. After it's all over and you've spent some time apart, you go up to him and apologize. It was completely out of the blue. Nothing you could think of brought it on. At least, nothing specific. Everything, it seemed, put you in a panic these days. He shrugs it off, not wanting to make it a thing. He brings it up later, though, when it's just the two of you, asking you when it all started. You admit it started when you joined The Boys. Danger was around every corner. You were wanted. You'd spend hours worrying about every scenario that could ever play out. They all ended badly. He understands to a degree. Your lives are hard, complicated, and full of danger. It's only a natural reaction to be afraid. To worry.

Hughie learned about your panic attacks one night after you were cleaning yourself up, splashing cold water on your face. It was over, thank goodness, but it took a lot longer to get rid of the feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. You admit you've been dealing with this for a while, but was afraid to bring it up to anyone. It could be embarrassing. You were hysterical. And the worst part was you knew it was irrational. Hughie assures you it's not silly or irrational if it's causing you this much stress. He doesn't want to pry, of course, but he does want to know about it. When it started, what kinds of things worry you, how he can help, etc. Hughies had his fair share of panic attacks. He's no stranger to them. When you're feeling overwhelmed or like your brain won't stop thinking, he's the first person you go to. He tends to use distractions. Goofy stiff about movies or TV shows or random facts he's acquired through the years. Anything to take your mind off things. He's completely free of judgement. He just wants you to be okay.

Annie could kind of already tell. With the way things were at Vought and being part of The Seven, it was a pretty anxiety inducing situation. Homelander was cruel and reactive and all over the place. You could never tell if he'd laugh off something major while tearing everyone and everything apart over the smallest mistake. Annie found you hiding in the bathroom just before a team meeting, trying to talk yourself down. She knocked softly on the stall door, assuring you it was only her. It all comes out. The fears and worries, the stress making you so sick you were barely eating or sleeping. She opened up about her own fears around Homelander and pretty much everyone involved with Vought, slowly coaxing you out. When you've pulled yourself together, you immediately apologize. You don't know what came over you. It definitely wasn't right to put it on her. Annie thinks the opposite, glad you could trust her, reminding you you can always come to her. She gets it 100%.

M.M. never knew you struggled with panic attacks. You hid them so well that no one did. It isn't until you're at the Sage Grove Center that you're faced with Lamplighter and Stormfront that he sees fear and shock and panic. You freeze, your breathing ragged, tears welling up in your eyes. You have to move. You have to think quickly if you're going to get out alive. But first, he has to calm you down. He holds your shoulders, talking you down, reminding you to breathe. It takes a little while, but eventually, it starts to soothe you. After you're out and safe, far from the both of them, you thank M.M. apologizing for your behavior. He tells you there's no need to be sorry. He's just glad he could help. Marvin becomes a confidant when you're feeling anxious. Now that he's aware of it, he can pick up on the little signs before it becomes a full-blown panic attack. Even when it does, he's always there to help. He never wants you to feel like you have to face it alone or that it's an inconvenience to him. He cares about you. He wants you to he okay, to feel safe.

Frenchie found you one day, music blaring in your headphones, trying to calm yourself down. He startled you, his hand on your shoulder, making you jump. When he asked what was wrong, you were hesitant to say why. You didn't want to come off as weak or like you couldn't handle being part of the team. You loved the cause you were fighting for. It was just a lot. Finally, you told him, unable to keep it under control. You even tell him about your worries that if any of them ever found out, they'd kick you off the team, out of the friend group. Frenchie assures you they need you. Panic attacks don't change that. He wishes you'd opened up sooner instead of suffering alone. They had plenty of issues, this isn't as big a deal as you thought it was. It's hard, of course, but they've seen this before. You tell him music helps, but there are still so many times you can't stop it. You feel like you're dying. He offers the support he can, wanting you to come to him when you feel it coming on so that you're not alone, so you can figure it out together.

Kimiko finds you up late one night, curled into a ball on the couch, watching TV. She can see the tear marks on your cheeks illuminated by the screen. By the time she finds you, the crying has mostly subsided. When she asks what's wrong, it all comes out. The fear, the anxiety, the panic attacks. They used to be so much more manageable. Lately, it's been out of control, especially at night when there are so few distractions and you're all alone. You try not to bother anyone with it, having had poor experiences in the past. She tells you those people suck and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide it. Ever. It just ends up making it worse. She thanks you for telling her, asking if there's anything she can do to help. You're not really sure. After that, Kimiko is always checking in with you. She doesn't make a big scene about it. Keeping it between the two of you, she'll ask if you're okay or if you've been feeling okay. You're always honest with her, knowing she'll catch you if you fib. She ends up sitting with you at night, watching TV together. Her presence alone is comforting enough.

[777rare]

☀️ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT.2💥

disclaimer :

DO NOT READ FURTHUR IF YOU ARE A MINOR!!

THIS CONTAINS MENTIONING OF seggs and bad words so please scroll if ur below 18+

THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.

I DO NOT PILRIMIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN

Mercury in 1st house natives are very talkative beings lmao🙊

Mars in fixed signs(AQUARIUS,LEO,TAURUS,SCORPIO) won't take anybodys shit no matter what..if somebody ain't treating em right, they're always ready to fight back

Mars in cardinal signs(CAPRICORN,CANCER,LIBRA,ARIES) can control their temper and toleration levels when somebody's acting all shitty but when they can't take it anymore, you're done for.

Mars in mutable signs (PISCES,GEMINI,SAGITTARIUS,VIRGO) will most of the time tolerate ur shit and get pissed off internally. They won't show it although they do sometimes, its mostly always internal. suppressed anger and frustration.

Apollo-venus/neptune folks are very admiring. Apollo-venus/ 8th house people are charming and alluring whereas apollo-neptune/ 12th house people have ethereal or outwardly beauty. Apollo aspecting ascendant are attractive too. Ex: alexia demie has Apollo quintile venus, zendaya has Apollo in 8th house.

Adams-sun/moon/asc/Mc natives have a very masculine character or mascular body in a man's chart ex: Chris evans has Adam's trine sun, Dwayne Johnson has Adam's sextile moon.

people with aura/ascendant in harsh aspects with moon(esp. Square) could mean people sense ur aura/ energy to be "too emotional" or "cold ass bitch" vibe. the tension in these aspects can also manifest according to the placements, degrees and other aspects.

natives with sirene conjunct jupiter could have such a raw seducing energy and lots n lots of it by the way! They tend to have a very mysterious,sexy,alluring touch to them. its like they have this "cremé dé lá cremé" persona blended in them..it's just so fucking hot..I also feel these natives catch too much attention sometimes even when they don't intend on trying to catch anyone's attention. It can sometimes get really annoying for them too.

In your varuna persona chart usually I feel the native is born to gain world wide fame if their sun/moon conjunct asteroid varuna.

Melete-chiron/sun/moon/asc harsh aspects tend to become victims of anxiety disorders, panic attacks. Check the houses and signs to get more insight as well. Ex: zendaya has melete semi square moon and sesquiquadrate ascendant

Lacrimosa in 12th house natives emotions gets overwhelming when they're in bed or at night. These people could feel overwhelmed with grief and sadness at times and cry themselves to sleep

chiron in aquarius/ 11th house, can show a native getting severely wounded or experiencing trauma, anxiety, grief because of online platforms, social media, technology, anything techno like phones,laptops etc.also these natives never have good, honest friendships. It's always fake friends and getting cheated or left out by friends. These natives should be very careful when it comes to making friends as well. Ex: I have this placement and when I was 10 yrs old, my closest friend food poisoned me. still don't know why.

Saturn-venus natives are beautiful but it's somewhat of an energy that's sleeping in them or yet to sprout. These natives need to put in some self love and work to glow up, especially showing themselves love.these natives tend to dislike the way they look or always try to find some flaw in themselves but their beauty will truly shine only when they begin to love themselves and work on themselves more. (Esp. Harsh aspects)

Virgo lilith natives have a very reserved sex appeal. These people tend to be very picky and minimalistic when it comes to their sexual partners.people most of the time assume these natives to have less knowledge about sex but deep down these natives are just crazy internally. You'll know it when you meet a virgo lilith native.🤠💫Aspects and houses can differ too.

I feel like asteroids in special degrees 11°, 22°,0° also have a really strong or special effect on the native.

sun-mercury natives always look younger than their age. The native can also be very childish even after ageing so much.

Planets in Scorpio sign or where your scorpio is placed is where you keep things hidden, out of reach from others or have deep information about. Thats why when scorpio falls on someones ascendant they are seen as very mysterious and secretive. Ex: I have scorpio over 8th house and i keep my sexual life hidden(8H= sex,money,etc), my brother has scorpio in 3rd house and he knows a lot about my past than my mom, and also about the people in our neighborhood(3H= siblings,neighbours), my mother has scorpio moon so she does hide her emotions a lot. My sister has scorpio jupiter and she does lots and lots of researching and has a lot of knowledge about books and countries that most of the people don't know about.not even me🙂.

Pallas-ascendant(positive aspects) natives look wise and mature

Lots of planets aspecting to chiron can show a native who has been wounded so so many times in their life.

Sokrates conjunct neptune or in pisces/scorpio/ in 8th/12th house natives love deep conversations.they hate small talk and just wanna go so so deep.

Pallas conjunct neptune natives have so much spiritual wisdom.

Tone-pluto natives tend to have a raspy,deep touch to their voice.

Asteroids mentioned above :

apollo - 1862

Adams- 1996

Aura - 1488

Sirene - 1009

Varuna - 20000

Melete - 56

Lacrimosa - 208

Feel free to reblog and tag me when you do❤🙌🏻 Hope you all enjoyed. Thankyou.bye!❤ have a great day ahead!🏝☀️

[batneko]

it occurred to me that bowuigi would make for really good sentinel-and-guide AUs

(for those who don't know, The Sentinel was a 90's show about a guy with heightened senses and protective instincts, which make him a natural defender of humanity but can also be overwhelming. His nerdy partner who provided most of the exposition was eventually revealed to be a "guide" who has the power to soothe and support him. It had an extremely dedicated fandom and robust shipping community, which led to Sentinel AUs being super popular until A/B/O AUs eventually eclipsed them.

The basics are: Character A has super-senses and tends to be protective and territorial, but they have panic attacks/migraines/whatever because of their powers. Character B is a calming presence and often feels compelled to help Character A despite any personal differences they might have. It's important to note that the connection between sentinels and guides is not inherently sexual, though there's a lot of touching involved so if there's any attraction at all between the characters it can get awkward. Usually in the AU sentinel and guide powers are Known Abilities with support systems and sometimes even a matchmaking service in place, despite it being rare and unknown in the show.)

So for the obvious version we've got Sentinel Bowser and Guide Luigi. Bowser is an extremely powerful sentinel which means very few people can challenge him, but his instincts have driven him to conquer more and more territory over the years and he's starting to feel stretched thin. He's had guide partners before but his personality problems drive them away before too long, so he keeps a few in rotation and tries not to get attached.

He "fell in love" with Peach because her guide abilities are so strong he feels comfortable around her without either of them even trying. And since he only tends to see Luigi when Peach is also there (either kidnapped or at a group event) he doesn't notice that Luigi is a guide at all for a long time.

Until one day he has an attack in public, and since he's likely to lash out in that condition everyone keeps their distance - except Luigi. Who rushes to his side and holds his hand and rubs his brow until Bowser is able to come back to himself.

Bowser is stunned that someone he thought of as an enemy would help him so easily, as if it's the obvious thing to do. But he's also embarrassed that Mario's brother of all people had to take care of him in such a vulnerable position. He gets it into his head that the only way to save face here is if he acts like it's not embarrassing at all and that now he wants Luigi to be his full time guide partner.

This is definitely going to go great!

And then the reverse, Sentinel Luigi and Guide Bowser. Mario and Luigi are both sentinels, but they're so used to relying on and covering for each other that neither of them has ever needed a guide... Or at least they've convinced themselves they don't need one, until they're both falling at Princess Peach's feet as all the tension they've built up over the years drains away all at once.

Pretty soon it becomes clear that Peach and Mario have a connection that Peach and Luigi don't, and Luigi makes excuses to leave the two of them alone as often as he can. Which leaves him both without a guide and without his partner, putting up with all the stress and sensory stimulation on his own. He handled it before, right? He can handle it now.

Then he (literally) runs into Bowser and, just like with Peach, collapses to his knees at the sudden rush of relief. Bowser is like "not that I don't enjoy this kind of thing, but what the hell?" before he senses Luigi's distress and realizes he's a sentinel. It makes sense given how strong the brothers are, but he'd never really thought about how that kind of thing works for humans.

And, though he tells himself he shouldn't care if Luigi is struggling or not, he's not entirely heartless. Bowser scoops Luigi off the floor and lets him spend the rest of the day with him, eventually saying he's doing it because it'll be funny to have Luigi owe him a favor.

Luigi says okay. Bowser is baffled by how quickly he agreed. Either he was really really suffering, or he's so nice of a guy that he doesn't even fathom how easily Bowser can take advantage of him.

Well, it's not like it costs Bowser anything to keep him around. And it does actually feel good to be a guide instead of a king for once. Bowser decides to keep racking up "favors" until he thinks of the best way to use them, probably against Mario, or maybe to get into the Mushroom Kingdom.

Sure, once he gets that payoff Luigi will probably never forgive him and never want to see him again, but it'll be worth it... right?

[watermelonsugacry]

1d!yn are in these pics you can't convince me otherwise

still finishing up the grammys blurb but i can't not write about them for these pics rn

Along with YN's manager, the whole Harry team has been cheering and congratulating him on his big win as they collectively walk over to the couple's green room. Everyone is ready to celebrate with champagne bottles, big hugs, and pictures...well almost everyone.

As everyone gathers around to look at the monumental award and passes around the red envelope with Harry's House on it, Harry walks off in the midst of the rowdy group. YN sees how he walks off to the corner of the room, crouches down, and puts his face in his hands. She gives her husband a sympathetic smile before going over to crouch down in front of him and putting her hands on his knees in comfort. He's immediately putting a hand on top of her black, latex-covered hand, gripping onto it tightly.

When she hears him sniffle, she turns to the small group of people in the room, "Do yeh lads mind giving us a minute?"

As they all begin to shuffle out, Anthony quickly snaps one last picture of the couple. He captures the way they hold each other's hands, foreheads pressed together with their eyes closed. Harry's nose is a light shade of pink and YN wears a soft smile.

Hearing the door click shut, she's suddenly getting a deja vu moment of the last Grammys they attended together in 2021. After YN won Producer of the Year, Harry quickly came into the room after hearing she was having a panic attack. While everyone else in the room left, he stayed by her side and calmed her down with sweet, loving words and comforting hands.

People tend to forget how overwhelming something like this can be. These two don't make music with the intention of winning awards like this; this is just a perk of the job, of doing something they love. So be recognized for something this big, Album of the Year, is a feeling too big to put into words.

So the couple just sits in comfortable silence for another moment longer, looking at each other with so much love and gratitude. Having each other during this monumental time in their lives is a greater blessing than any of them could have ever asked for.

YN reaches up to thumb away at a rouge tear on his cheek and he keeps her hand there, tilting his head to give a kiss on her palm before letting out a deep sigh. She stands up again but before he can ask her where she's going, she comes back over to his level with his Grammy.

They don't say a word as she hands him his award. They just share soft smiles before huffing out a light laugh in disbelief.

After the awards ceremony and the after party was officially over, the couple still had a lot of engery (and alcohol) to burn off. The night was still young and there was no debate on arguing with the Grammy winners when they said they wanted to go get some pizza.

So at 3 o'clock in the morning, both of their managers, their photographers, and the rest of Harry's producers now sit around tables pushed together to create a space to fit all of them as the couple happily chomps away at their cheesy snacks.

"Yeh did really good with your performance, babe," YN compliments around a mouthful of pizza, her eyes the tiniest bit pink from the drinks she had earlier in the night. "Even with the whole turn-table fuck-up. Handled that shit like a fookin' pro."

"Thank you! Y'know," Harry beams, turning in his seat to fully face her. He rests an arm over the booth cushion behind her back and she hums in response, urging him to continue. "Think m'getting to be-" He takes in a deep breath as a tipsy hiccup shakes his upper body. "-be a pretty good dancer."

"I think so, too," She nods excitingly with wide eyes. "S'good thing you had your Satellite Stompers with yeh. It sucks ass when you have to perform in different shoes than what you originally practiced in."

"My what?" He asks with a smirk, stealing a bite of her pizza slice even though there are still plenty of pizzas around the table for him to grab.

"Your Satellite Stompers," She answers with a bashful giggle and his dimples dig further into his cheeks when he sees a blush grace the apples of her cheeks. "Ugh, s'stupid. Nevermind."

"Nuh uh. Tell me," He pokes, getting butterflies in his stomach at the sight of his gorgeous wife smiling up at the ceiling before sighing in defeat.

"S'just that, I posted a video of you doing your stompy stomps during Satellite one show and called your A.D.I.D.A.S. shoes that. And your fans have picked it up so...they're your Satellite Stompers. Don't laugh!"

"But that's the cutest thing I've ever heard! Anthony! Can y'get a picture of my--wait what were they called, babe?"

"Shut up!" She says with a laugh, pushing his face away from hers.

"Oh yeah, my Satellite Stompers."

She only laughs harder, her nose scrunching up in the cutest way possible as her husband scoots back into the corner of the booth and clumsily brings his foot up for them to see. While everyone else seems to ignore the giggly couple, Anthony brings his camera to his face to capture the shot.

As Harry points to his shoe, YN puts a hand under his heel as a presentation while she holds a slice of pizza to her mouth with the other.

SINCE 2010 masterlist

[innerteenager]

Oh my God, after many years of googling "am I autistic" every month I am realizing I am maybe/probably autistic. I mean, my friend who is a therapist, specializing in autism and ADHD, has told me she thinks I'm autistic for years. I guess this is also a common thing autistic people do. But, here are some revelations from today:

- I love learning about culture, cultural trends, sociology, psychology, and the history of religion. This could be a special interest, according to my friend, these kinds of interests are more common with femmes.

- also, obviously obsessed with my little blorbos, which is why I have this Tumblr

- I have worn the same bra for about two years. And I've bought the same one over and over for like 15 years.

- Having to pick out clothes stresses me out, I tend to wear the same outfits every week

- I do eat the same foods over and over

- clutter stresses me out

- recently, the sound of a single cricket at night in a quiet place stresses me out

- descriptions of autistic burnout accurately describe my experience. Boo! Change, having to do a ton of logistical stuff and socializing short circuits my brain. If it goes on too long I stop talking, dissociate and have trouble formulating something to say. I feel like a snow globe that's been shaken up. 

- the list of ways to recover from autistic burnout is literally exactly what I do every day. After work, I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling or scroll on my phone for several hours.I have to be alone. I stop emoting for other people. Making art and music feels restorative. A lot of online lists specifically talked about taking baths, showering, listening to audiobooks and going for a walk. Everything I like to do in my spare time seems to be listed. ☠️

- I feel emotions through making art, playing music and listening to music

- i'm constantly monitoring how other people might be perceiving me

- I really hate opening letters without a letter opener, the sound of tearing paper or tearing cardboard

- Talking to multiple people on dating sites short circuits my brain when it comes to actually scheduling a date

- i'm extremely overstimulated in stores like Costco

- nothing feels better than riding the high of a good fanfic

- I guess I like heavy things on me and using fidget toys

- an interesting article I read states that autistic people respond to other people's "fear chemicals" with calm, and respond to other people's "calm chemicals" with fear. I'm extremely anxious. I've found it mysterious that I become extremely focused and caring when I encounter other people having panic attacks or feeling overwhelming emotions (I work in a helping profession). Perhaps this is part of the reason why.

- sigh - I feel deeply lonely and long to be loved by someone who understands my mind and loves me for it. I feel like this will solve all my problems.

[callsigncrash]

:(´◦ω◦｀):

Yamori and the boys with a s/o that's smaller than them but chunky and when they're too stressed s/o suddenly picks them up like they weight nothing and walks away from the source of stress so s/o can cuddle the anger out of them-

Anygays, have a great cycle of 24 hours:3

Holding Chubby Reader HCs

Love this one! I’m chubby and I know not many people could pick me up so this was nice to imagine.

________________________________________________

Tokyo Ghoul

________________________________________________

Yamori

Thank the gods that he’s such a big guy.

When he picks you up it’s like an immediate, deescalating and loving hug.

He doesn’t do it very often in public but he definitely does it when the both of you are in private or just aren’t around a lot of people.

If he feels like talking isn’t working too well and you really need an immediate relief, then he’ll pick you up.

How he picks you up tends to vary by the situation and where you are.

If you’re really distraught and are about to have an anxiety attack, he’ll pick you up bridal style and hold you close.

If you’re calming down but still feel like you’re needing some comfort, it’ll probably be an over the shoulder sort of thing so he can walk out with you to someplace different.

If you just want to be held, or if he’s feeling like picking you up, then he’ll do it.

If he’s feeling content to a more obvious degree, he’ll pick you up and hold you to his front with a laugh.

If you want to be held, he’ll happily hoist you up and carry you off to wherever.

________________________________________________

The Boys

________________________________________________

Homelander

Compound V has it’s perks and this is definitely one of them!

He definitely gets an ego boost and even more of a power trip when he has the opportunity to pick you up.

If he’s gotta shoot off somewhere and you’re together, he’ll pick you up and fly off with you.

At home and want to be held while he’s busy? He could hold you with one arm and keep doing whatever it is, no questions asked.

Homelander definitely seems like the type to just want to hold or carry you because of how close it makes the two of you.

It’s a level of intimacy that he doesn’t experience very often so he tries to hold you as much as possible.

On that note, if he’s really going through it then please let him hold you in silence. It calms him down and it makes him feel like you really care.

He’s not against piggyback rides either. He doesn’t do it often but when he does, it’s fun.

If you feel like you’re having a panic attack or need to leave, he knows already. He will leave with you in his arms and will make sure that no one can say anything about it.

He knows he’s powerful already but being able to pick you, his s/o, up, makes him feel like the most powerful man in the sky.

Black Noir

If only you could see the hearts around him whenever either of you even entertain the idea of him picking you up.

He loves it so much. Like Homelander, he does not get a lot of physical intimacy, if any at all.

He understands being overwhelmed really well but he doesn’t want you to keep it inside like he does so he’ll be right there to pick you up if you need him to.

He doesn’t even care if he’s in public either.

If you’re even slightly upset, he’s right there to make sure you’re ok.

Sometimes he feels like he does it too much but when you assure him that it’s ok and that you like it, he’s so relieved.

Do you just really need time with him so they you can recuperate? No problem! He’s already got his arms wide open and waiting for you.

Sometimes he needs to hold you when he has an episode.

There’s also times where he needs to be held.

These moments don’t happen too often but please repay all of his snuggles and embraces with ones of your own!

[active-mind-15]

Headcanons for Akashi when he's sad 😔

I did a cute one last night for Akashi laughing, so I thought I'd flip the script and break y'alls hearts rq with some headcanons I have for when Akashi isn't feeling all too great.

First of all, let's start with any canon material we have of Akashi being openly sad. There really isn't much. The only times we see him like that in the main series are at his mother's funeral as a child during that flashback, and then directly after he lost to Seirin. Even with the second instance, he tried to hold in his tears as best as he could and still put on a brave smile to go and shake hands with Kuroko. Aside from that, the only other instance I can think of is during the drama CD (season 3 volume 9) where he had a bit of an argument with Murasakibara.

Canonically, we know why he is almost never openly sad. With such high expectations placed on him by his father, the superintendents of Teiko, and even himself, showing sadness was a form of weakness. This is why, despite the fact that he was clearly overwhelmed with too much work throughout his entire childhood, he never complained. His father likely drilled that mentality into him to just suck it up and keep it pushing, because Akashi wasn't even allowed time to process his grief after losing his mother, the only support system he ever had. With this information in mind, let's get into my headcanons.

First of all, what makes Akashi upset? The first thing I can think of is his massive workload paired with the high expectations placed on him. There are probably some days when all of it is just too overwhelming and he gets stressed out, worried that he won't be able to handle it all. Whenever Akashi switches personalities in the series, it's always during a crucial basketball match. But I personally feel like if he's stressed with work all the time, he's constantly teetering on the edge of dissociating but ends up not. I can imagine him in his dorm after a long day of school trying to finish assignments late into the night, and he's desperately fighting to remain present and in the moment. It probably happens more than people think, and to avoid giving into his other self and letting him take over is something he has to do on a regular basis.

The second thing is when he feels like he hasn't been a good friend. Post-Winter Cup, Akashi tries really hard to reconnect with Kuroko and the other GoM more than he used to back in middle school. And given how he had to salvage his friendships with his former and current teams after almost ruining them both, post-Winter Cup Akashi is probably very insecure about his own ability to be a good friend to others. For example, in season 3 volume 9 of the drama CDs when he and Murasakibara had a quarrel, Murasakibara mentioned that Akashi had no idea how he felt at all before hanging up the phone. That comment stuck with Akashi, so much so that all three of the Uncrowned Kings noticed and essentially staged an intervention in the clubroom because Akashi looked so visibly bothered that it freaked them out. You can tell that he cares about his friends as well as what they think of him. He wants to be someone they can trust and depend on, but when he feels like he's missed the mark, he gets upset about it each and every time because, really and truly, he's trying his very best.

What does he look like when he's sad? The thing about Akashi is that he still sometimes has trouble letting himself be upset because he's busy and has no time for breakdowns (probably why he prefers to dissociate instead since he'd rather just detach himself from reality and not feel anything at all). As a result, he tends to bottle a lot of things up until they all spill out later, and I can see it manifesting in two ways.

1: panic attacks. With what this boy has been through, it would not surprise me in the slightest if he ever had panic attacks. If he somehow managed to avoid them throughout his entire childhood, then I think his first panic attack would come after losing the Winter Cup finals because this is the first time in his life he's ever lost at anything and he feels like his entire world is falling apart. He'd probably be hit with an overwhelming fear of what would happen to him after losing the finals, especially with how much his father emphasized victory and success over everything. And the idea of being a disappointment and disgracing his family name would probably just tear this poor boy apart. And these panic attacks are not pretty. He's hyperventilating and gasping through sobs that he desperately tries to quiet to no avail, and he trembles so badly that he can barely keep himself upright. Not good at all.

2: full system shutdown. Maybe I'm projecting my own personal experiences for this one, but I think if there was a day when he was just so stressed and tired or maybe he got news that was so devastating, his body would refuse to cope and he would just... switch off. That could mean sleeping in the middle of the day for long stretches of time because he can't handle being awake, and then when he is awake, his mind is static and he's totally nonverbal, normally for several hours. Also not good at all.

The only person who's ever seen him in the middle of either one of these types of breakdowns is Mibuchi. The first time was accidental because Akashi didn't have the foresight to lock the door at that moment. But after Mibuchi is able to calm him down/bring him back to reality, then for every time after, Akashi will actively seek out Mibuchi if he feels like he's on the verge of a breakdown. Eventually, he opens up about it to the other Uncrowned Kings and they're very supportive and tell Akashi to let them know if there's any way they can help him (he actually has to hold back tears for that).

I have a separate headcanon that post-Winter Cup Akashi eventually starts going to therapy because he realizes he could really use it, and so I would think with time, he develops better coping mechanisms and also knows how to calm himself down before getting to the point of a breakdown. (He still seeks Mibuchi out, though, cuz sometimes he just needs a hug. Is that so wrong?)

He also learns to just experience his emotions as they come and for what they are. Positive or negative, either way, all emotions are valid, and instead of hiding from sadness, you should feel it and then let it pass. Through that, he's able to make peace with himself and not be so hard on himself anymore.

Anyway, I have no idea where to end it, so I'll leave it here because I'm literally falling asleep as I write this. I need to go to bed. For anyone who I've punched in the gut with these headcanons... I'm not sorry. Bye now! 😃

[thevegandarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Nine

Masterlist

AO3 link

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

Sleeping Beauty (c) Disney, Wednesday Addams (c) Charles Addams

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, reference to nightmares

Word count: 2.8k

Several days had passed since Daryl left. I’m not gonna lie, I missed waking up after falling out of bed and hearing my door open, peering up to see him standing there, making sure I was alright. Before he left, I was insisting to him that he didn’t need to keep doing that, but I hoped he would ignore me and continue when he returned.

When I wasn’t treating someone, I was helping around Alexandria in other ways. I helped with laundry, cooking, playing with Judith and some of the other kids (they had lots of questions about me being a doctor), tending to the garden, and figuring out how to make Aaron a prosthetic foot. I found a pair of scissors and nail clippers in the infirmary, so I finally got to clip my nails and cut a few inches of dead ends off my hair. I also invited Maggie, Glenn, and Rosita over for dinner one night and cooked for them. Every day, I felt more and more a part of the community and like I belonged there. At times, it would become overwhelming, and I would step away from everything to cry. After being on my own for so long, finding somewhere with good people that welcomed me so warmly was heartwarming, but it also made me ache for my parents, my brothers, and my best friend.

Having the house to myself for a week gave me plenty of time to think about Daryl. Think about our first run, think about every interaction we’ve had, think about what Michonne, Maggie, and Rosita had said, and think about what Carol said. That that wasn’t the first time he had talked to her about me. That he “didn’t hate me. Not even close.” I thought about what I was going to say to him when he got back. Thought about what he did with the note I left as I didn’t have it in me to check the trash can and possibly see it there.

It was starting to get dark out, and I had finished my duties for the day, so I went back home to make dinner. I had found a slow cooker in one of the cabinets in the kitchen, buried away, so I elected to make something I often made in college as I could just start up the slow cooker and leave it. I grabbed various ingredients out from the fridge and cabinets, washing produce off and dumping everything in the pot with water. I turned the timer on and headed upstairs to take a shower. It was a hair-washing day, so it was good that the food was going to take a few hours as I would have plenty of time.

I stopped in my room and grabbed a pair of pajamas. I had originally just been sleeping in my clothes, but the nights were getting chillier, so I needed something warmer. Rosita helped me find a red plaid flannel pajama set that fit perfectly. I had been bringing my clothes with me into the bathroom when I showered to avoid having to scurry around in a towel in case Daryl came back. I got the water running and undressed, stepping into the warm cascade of water.

Earlier, when I had been hanging out with and entertaining some of the children, they asked me what my favorite movies were when movies existed. I told them about my favorite Disney movie from when I was growing up—Sleeping Beauty. I told them all about the tale of Princess Aurora, the fairy godmothers, Prince Philip, and Maleficent. How Prince Philip slayed the dragon to save the princess. How they fell in love and got married. The music was one of my favorite parts, and as I washed and rinsed my hair, I found myself first humming, then singing the song “Once Upon A Dream” from the movie.

I kept singing as I finished my shower. I didn’t think I was perfect by any means, but at least I could hit the higher notes comfortably. The acoustics in the bathroom were stellar. I dried myself off and got into my comfy pajamas, grabbing my glasses off of the sink and putting them back on. I left the bathroom and gave my hair a quick run-through with the towel as I walked back to my room, continuing my serenade as I went.

I grabbed a couple of hair ties off my dresser and shook my hair out again, brushing through it with my fingers and parting it down the middle. I tightly braided each side so that it would turn out wavy again in the morning. I smiled, thinking about all of the times Preston would call me Wednesday when I did this with my hair. Apparently, long black braided hair immediately equals Wednesday Addams.

I grabbed my towel to take it back to the bathroom, and as I stepped out into the hallway, I heard a familiar, gravely voice from downstairs.

“Smells good.”

It felt like I jumped a foot off the ground with how startled I was. The adrenaline was pumping hard, and I turned to steady myself on the railing by the stairs. I looked up and saw Daryl standing in the kitchen, leaned back against the counter, a whiskey in his hand. He was dirty from head to toe, and his hair was disheveled as hell. Despite all the dirt and grime, he was still as handsome as could be. And even though I was startled to high hell, it was wonderful to hear his voice again.

“Christ dude, you have got to stop doing that. You’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days,” I said, “but hi, you’re back. When did you get back?” I came down the stairs into the kitchen to check on the food. He shifted from leaning on the counter to the island as I entered, stopping to grab a ladle to stir the contents of the slow cooker.

“Long ‘nough ta hear ya in the shower,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink, his other arm folded across his chest. I immediately started blushing, and I felt nauseous at the thought of him judging my vocals. I wanted to die in that moment.

“Fuck. Sorry about that,” I said, gazing down at the floor, hoping he wouldn’t notice how red I was.

“Nothing to be sorry ‘bout,” he assured, “what’re ya makin’?” I lifted my head and met his eyes for just a second before I took the lid off the slower cooker and stirred it. This might’ve been the most I’d ever heard the man talk.

“Ok, you can’t laugh,” I said, chuckling a little and putting the lid back on, turning to him, “it’s something my best friend and I came up with in med school. It’s, umm…it’s called a dump ’n pray. You basically just take a bunch of stuff that would probably go well together, dump it all into a slower cooker, and pray that it turns out good. Usually it does. It’s got like a 98% success rate in my experience.”

“Smells real good,” Daryl said, and I gave him a small smile in response, “I uh, got ya somethin’ while we was out.” He leaned over and grabbed a bag off of the floor, and my heart rate picked up again. He opened the bag and pulled out something wrapped in a dirty beige scarf, “thought of ya when I saw it.”

I tried to think about something else to keep myself from turning red. Not just at the fact that Daryl got me something on his trip, but that he thought of me when he was out there. I wondered how often he did that, how often he thought of me exactly. Did he think of me as often as I thought of him?

I unwrapped the scarf carefully in case whatever was inside was fragile. I saw a navy blue fabric with a flower on it peeking out at me, so I grabbed it and let the scarf fall to my feet. The item in my hands was a long navy blue dress with large white flowers and a slit up one leg. It looked like it would fit me perfectly. Despite how dirty Daryl looked, the dress appeared clean, probably thanks to the scarf it was wrapped in. I immediately lit up, smiling big, running my hands on the fabric over and over again. The kind gesture, the fact that he wrapped it in a scarf to keep it clean…my heart swelled, and I felt that warm sensation in my chest again.

“Daryl, I…I don’t know what to say. This is beautiful. I love it. Thank you.” He simply nodded, and I had to ask the question that was scratching at the insides of my brain. “Did you remember?”

“‘Member what?”

“That my favorite color is blue.”

“Got lucky I guess,” he scoffed. He grabbed his things off the ground, including the scarf at my feet, set his drink on the counter, and slipped past me upstairs. I wouldn’t blame him for just wanting to be alone and going to bed to pass out. He was probably exhausted. However, I heard the shower turn on instead.

Once I heard the bathroom door close, I went upstairs to my room and folded the dress neatly, placing it in one of the drawers on the dresser. I grabbed my notebook and a pen and went back downstairs to the couch to do some writing while I waited for the food to finish.

I sat down on the couch and crossed my legs. I ran my hands over the cover of my notebook, my fingers gracing each sticker that they passed. There was a U.S. Navy one, a variety of flowers, a Johns Hopkins one, and some at gotten at a Ke$ha concert as she was my favorite artist. This notebook was my most recent, and it was one of my most prized possessions. I felt like it painted a picture of what my life had looked like over the course of the end of the world so far.

I got lost in what I was writing, eventually being pulled out only by the sound of the slow cooker beeping at me, telling me it was finished. I set my notebook down to get up, but as the beeping finished, Daryl came down the stairs, motioning for me to stay put. He looked clean as a whistle, small residuals of water still dripping from his hair. He had changed into a long-sleeved black shirt that hugged his arms and chest perfectly and a pair of black pants. I bit the interior of my bottom lip to focus on the pain in an attempt to keep myself from blushing or from my eyes lingering for too long.

“Stay sat. Ya made it, least I could do is get ya some,” he said. His gentlemanly attitude surprised me. Just over a week ago, he would hardly look in my direction and was frustrated at the thought of having to share a house with me. But I wasn’t going to say no.

“Oh, umm, okay.” I sat back down on the couch, crossing my legs again. I watched him move through the kitchen, grabbing bowls out of cabinets and spoons out of drawers. I did take just a moment to check out his butt as he moved around. And damn, did it look good in those pants. I quickly averted my eyes as he turned around and came over to me, holding a bowl out. “Thank you.”

He handed me a spoon and took a seat in the chair adjacent to the couch, propping his right foot up on his left knee and letting his body melt back into the chair. I had hoped that maybe he would come and sit down next to me, but I didn’t blame him for wanting his own space to stretch out. And he seemed to have a rather large personal bubble.

I stirred my concoction with the spoon. This one resembled a chili of sorts, not authentic considering the variety of vegetables. But Daryl was right—it did smell good. I scooped some up with my spoon and blew on it before taking a bite. I was impressed with how tasty it came out.

“Told you. 98% success rate,” I said. I set my bowl down on the coffee table for a moment while I adjusted my body, turning so I could stretch my legs out on the couch and grabbing it again. “How was the hunting trip?” He seemed to be more receptive to conversation tonight, so I was going to take advantage of that.

“Went good. Caught a big sum’ bitch. Probly still guttin’ 'em up outside,” Daryl explained, “sorry. We’re eatin’. Might make ya squeamish.” I laughed mid-bite and almost spit my food out.

“I’m a surgeon, Daryl. Nothing makes me squeamish. But I appreciate the consideration.”

“How’d ya sleep while I was away?” he asked. I thought it was nice that he was asking, wanting to know that I was still ok even when he wasn’t coming to check on me. Nice, but it also confused me. He didn’t seem to be the type to…I don’t know, ask questions like that? He was so cold and calloused towards everyone, me included. But right now, Daryl was warm, and dare I say, sweet.

“Alright I guess. The nightmares are getting more…vivid.” I immediately felt ashamed and stopped myself before I said too much “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” I stared into my bowl, stirring my food again, regretting what I had said.

“Keep goin’ if ya wanna,” he encouraged. I blinked a few times in surprise and looked up at him. He was looking at me, those beautiful blue eyes of his piercing through the few strands of hair that fell on his face. His bowl was in his lap, and it looked like he hadn’t touched it yet. I felt bad that he was waiting for me to finish talking because he was probably ravenous after his trip. But apparently, listening to lil’ ol’ me talk was more important than satiating his hunger.

“Umm…well they started off as just a blur of colors and physical sensations. And each night, something else becomes a little more clear. Now there’s sounds, but the visuals are still pretty fuzzy. I, umm…” my voice trailed off, and I felt small, a little scared even as I thought about how my nightmares were becoming more and more vivid. I knew what the nightmare was. I knew what it was going to look like when everything was clear, and that terrified me. I blinked a few times and shook my head a little to bring myself back to reality, and I realized I had started absentmindedly doing my little habit of scratching at my thumb with my index finger. “Sorry. Could…could we maybe talk about something else?” Rather than replying with a yes or no, he changed the topic.

“Ya likin’ it here so far?” Trying to shake the thought of my nightmares from my mind, I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes. I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes, faking a yawn to make it look like I was just sleepy. I blinked back the last little bit of tears and wiped the sides of my hands on my legs.

“Yeah, a lot,” I said, putting my glasses back on, “everyone’s so nice. I had Maggie, Rosita, and Glenn over for dinner the other night. They seem like really good people. I like them a lot. It feels good to be around other people and wake up in the same place every day.” I looked up at him, his bowl still in his lap. “You, uh, you can eat. You don’t have to just listen to me yap on.”

“They’re good people. Some of the best,” Daryl said, ignoring my statement about him eating, “ya really on ya own ‘fore ya got here?” His gravely voice and cute little Southern way of speaking was a match made in heaven for my ears.

“I was. Gimme just a minute and I’ll tell you all about it.” I set my bowl down on the coffee table and got up to use the bathroom and grab my blanket. As I got to the top of the stairs, I heard Daryl finally start eating. And judging by the sounds, he certainly was ravenous. I grabbed my blanket off my bed after I went to the bathroom and came back down. I was gone for no more than five minutes, and he had set his bowl on the coffee table as well, empty this time. I sat back on the couch, wrapped up in my blanket, chuckling lightly in amusement. I met his gaze again to continue my story.

“Food was good,” he said, “ya should make it again.”

“If you insist.”

[pupphe-additions]

✴Jamie’s Relationship With ENHYPEN✴

Jamie x Heeseung [JamSeung]

Quote: “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” Dynamic: BFF

Heeseung’s contact name in Jamie’s phone is “HeeBee”

Heeseung is the member that Jamie opened to first as they trained together with TXT before debuting with ENHYPEN together. 

Heeseung is the member that knows the most about Jamie and the one Jamie trusts the most.

When Jamie and Heeseung shared a room, Heeseung always spoiled Jamie’s pets.

Heeseung helps Jamie learn to play guitar.

Sometimes when Jamie is overwhelmed he will go to Heeseung and just sits with him as his company alone tends to calm Jamie.

They bring out each other’s inner crackhead energy.

When they shared a room Jamie would often sleep in Heeseung’s bed to help him sleep.

The loudest you’ll hear Jamie be is when he is with Heeseung.

The only member Jamie clings to or shows any sort of skinship with is Heeseung.

Jamie always enjoys the time he spends with Heeseung and will always make time out of his day to prioritize hanging out with Heeseung.

Constantly teasing one another and jokingly bickering.

Heeseung calls Jamie his “personal ray of sunshine during my cloudiest of days.”

This sparked a lot of ENGENES love for the twos friendship.

Jamie enjoys stealing clothes from Heeseung.

Heeseung is Jamie’s go to member to talk to about anything.

Heeseung and Jamie listen to music together a lot.

Iconic Moment: There is a video of Heeseung comforting Jamie through a panic attack. Jamie was really upset with himself for messing up the choreography that they were practicing and started to get into his own head a lot. Due to him overthinking it led to Jamie going into a full on panic attack. Heeseung was the first to notice and walked up to the younger boy. Heeseung could see that Jamie was starting to panic and he gently talked him through his panic attack and was there to sort of ground Jamie back into reality, a staple for the pair. Jamie, once calmed down, hugged Heeseung tightly and said “thank you for always taking such good care of me hyung, you mean a lot to me.” and due to the fact Jamie initiated any sort of physical contact and the gentle tone that Heeseung showed toward Jamie the moment went viral gathering millions of views. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jay [JaJa]

Quote: "A friend is one soul abiding in two bodies." Dynamic: Sunshine Duo

Jay’s contact name in Jamie’s phone is “Sunshine”

Jay is known to cling to Jamie even if Jamie doesn’t seem to be into it.

Jamie secretly loves it and that’s why he doesn’t shove him off.

They speak in English with one another more than in Korean.

They watch anime together a lot and often bicker over which anime are better than others.

Jay doesn’t like to play games with Jamie because Jamie is too competitive, but when they do play on the extremely rare occasions Jamie usually walks on the enemies and Jay always hypes him up.

Jamie always gets fashion tips from Jay.

Jamie thinks he has a bad taste in fashion and that’s why he’s always asking Jay for tips.

Jay and Jamie are the mood makers of the group and feed off of each other's energies a lot.

Jamie is extremely protective of Jay.

Jamie always has a lint roller to make sure there is no cat fur on his clothes before going near Jay to avoid triggering an allergic reaction.

They will often have staring contests.

Jay is another member that Jamie enjoys stealing clothes from.

These two can be scary when angry, and when they fight everyone can tell.

Jay is the first or second member to notice if Jamie is feeling anxious and will help him through anything.

Jamie loves Jay a lot and will do anything to see him happy and succeed. 

Jamie and Jay give off chaotic vibes but are actually rather chill when together.

Iconic Moment: One of their most iconic moments is actually when they were on I-LAND. When they were tallying the votes and announcing who was debuting with the group Jamie was significantly happier when Jay’s name was called over his own. Jamie literally jumped up and down and stared at Jay with so much pride and love. When Jamie’s name was called he was happy but more happy to see Jay happy over anything else. Jamie immediately went up to Jay and gave him a hug and whispered to him “I told you we’d make it together.” with tears in his eyes and a large smile on his face when he was able to see him again. Jay squeezed him tightly and said “yeah man we made it.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jake [JakIe]

Quote: To friendship every burden's light. Dynamic: Golden Retriever and Orange Cat Besties

Jake’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Puppy Boy”

These two are both clumsy people.

Jake and Jamie work out a lot.

Jake is always loving Jamie's dog Snickers.

Jamie always calls Jake his second dog.

Jamie and Jake never really have serious moments, they are always laughing and joking around when together.

Jamie can always go to Jake when he needs a good laugh because the younger boy seems to do it so easily.

Jamie and Jake grew close a lot faster than Jamie thought they would mainly because of their love for dogs.

Jamie thinks Jake is extremely handsome.

Jamie and Jake really enjoy going shopping together.

Jake and Jamie, much like Jay and Jamie, speak in English often.

Head empty, only good vibes.

Always complimenting each other to the point they embarrass one another.

When Jamie hangs out with Jake he naturally gets an Australian accent and neither of them understand why.

Jamie has said that his memories with Jake will always be some of his favorites.

Iconic Moment: During a live Jake and Jamie were joking around and Jake barked like a dog so Jamie laughed and told him to sit down and Jake played along and sat like a dog. The two boys end up laughing uncontrollably and Jamie falls out of his seat, unable to take him seriously. They continue the bit for like five minutes with them just laughing at one another.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Sunghoon [SungMie]

Quote: “No friendship is an accident.” Dynamic: Awkward Friends

Sunghoon’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “BunHoon”

Jamie has said that he’d date Sunghoon if he was the opposite gender.

Jamie finds Sunghoon very attractive.

Jamie and Sunghoon are not that close as of 2023 and talk the least amongst the members.

Jamie and Sunghoon usually sit in silence when they are together.

They are comfortable doing their own things while in the same room as each other.

Jamie enjoys watching Sunghoon but he is scared that people may think he’s being weird so he tries not to admire him too closely.

Sunghoon and Jamie only hang out when Sunghoon wants to because Jamie is always too shy to ask first.

Jamie loses all the staring contests he has with Sunghoon because Jamie is intimidated by him.

Jamie has admitted to being flustered around Sunghoon and has said he doesn’t know how to act near him.

Jamie likes to call Sunghoon “bunny prince” because he thinks it’s a fitting and adorable nickname.

Iconic Moment: During a performance Jamie had slipped and Sunghoon had been the first to help the older boy to his feet. When he noticed that Jamie had actually hurt himself he forced Jamie off stage to avoid it getting worse. Sunghoon grabbed him by his arm and helped him off stage and told him to be more careful. It was that moment that made Jamie realize that Sunghoon actually cared about his well being and since then Jamie has tried to be closer friends with Sunghoon.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Sunoo [SunnIe]

Quote: "Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years." Dynamic: Movie Besties

Sunoo’s contact name in Jamie’s phone is “Aegyo Boy”

Jamie likes to tease Sunoo.

They enjoy watching Disney movies, and other movies, together.

Sunoo sometimes plays games with Jamie but it’s not too often as Jamie is way too competitive and takes everything too seriously.

Jamie teases Sunoo often because Jamie finds him very cute and he enjoys his interactions.

These two take far too many selfies together and both have folders on their phones of selfies they’ve taken together.

Jamie has named that folder “Sunnie” 

Jamie and Sunoo like to trade playlists and they won’t skip any of the songs as they like to experience each other’s different music styles.

Jamie always compliments Sunoo’s eye smile.

Sunoo really enjoys Jamie’s stage presence and his expressions when he performs. 

Sunoo and Jamie often eat mint chocolate chip ice cream when they watch movies.

Jamie likes to squish Sunoo’s face as he gives Jamie cuteness overload/aggression. 

Jamie enjoys cooking spicy food for Sunoo and himself.

Sunoo always praises Jamie’s cooking whenever he can.

Often when Sunoo and Jamie hang out Sunoo will fall asleep with his head on Jamie’s shoulder.

Jamie lowkey spoils Sunoo and gets him anything he wants if he can.

Iconic Moment: Jamie and Sunoo fell asleep backstage before a performance. Sunoo had fallen asleep with his head on Jamie and Jamie had an arm around Sunoo and leaning against him as well as he was also asleep. Jay walked up to them and gently woke them up, filming it as he did. When the two boys woke up Jamie put his hand over the camera and told Jay to buzz off causing Jay to chuckle. Sunoo stretched and pretended nothing happened and just started to quietly sing to himself. 

“You’re a brat.” Jamie said, shaking his head.

Jay just shrugged, “You should go to bed at a decent time.”

Sunoo piped in with a chuckle, “I mean you seem to nap well with me.”

Jamie just shakes his head and ignores them rolling his eyes at the same time mumbling “brats” to himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jungwon [JungMie]

Quote: "There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family." Dynamic: Sun and Moon (no i will never get tired of this dynamic FIGHT ME)

Jungwon’s contact name in Jamie’s phone is “My Sun”

Jamie often says that Jungwon is the sun to his moon.

Jamie and Jungwon have movie nights every Saturday.

Jungwon has said before that Jamie is overly protective over him and that he likes that side of Jamie.

Jamie dotes on Jungwon often.

They compliment each other every time they hang out.

Jamie sees Jungwon as a best friend and little brother.

Jamie said he regrets how standoffish he was toward Jungwon and the other members because he thinks he ruined them being closer for longer because he was so in his head.

Jungwon easily motivates Jamie.

Jamie enjoys kissing Jungwon on the cheek.

Jamie likes to give Jungwon the kind of hug where his feet are no longer touching the ground.

When Jungwon and Jamie first met Jungwon was very intimidated by him and it remained that way until Jamie started to show ENHYPEN his true more gentle self.

Jungwon tends to follow Jamie around.

Jamie enjoys cooking for Jungwon because his reactions to the food he makes is always adorable.

Jungwon and Jamie have shared the same bed many times before.

Jamie won’t admit it but he sleeps better when sharing a bed with one of his members.

Jamie has a lot of fun teasing Jungwon.

Iconic Moment: During one of their movie nights Jamie had fallen asleep sitting up. Jungwon smiled softly at the older boy before he got a spare pillow and gently helped the exhausted Jamie to a lying position. He started to wake up slightly but quickly just got himself comfortable and fell back to sleep. Jungwon then grabbed his favorite blanket and covered up Jamie and hugged him gently and sat on the floor to finish watching the movie. Once the movie was over he grabbed his own pillow and blanket and slept on the floor near Jamie because he felt bad leaving him to sleep alone on the couch. "I love you Hyung." Jungwon whispered before he curled toward the couch a bit and fell asleep.

Shortly after Jungwon fell asleep Jamie woke up and saw that Jungwon was on the floor and so he moved himself next to the younger boy and cuddled into him which helped him to go back to sleep.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Ni-Ki [JaKi]

Quote: "Life is an ugly, awful place to not have a best friend." Dynamic: Dancing Duo

Niki’s contact name in Jamie’s phone is “Dancing King”

Jamie is always impressed by how well Niki can dance and he will compliment him on it constantly.

The two that pick up choreography the fastest in the group.

Jamie sees Niki as a little brother and is very attached to him.

If Jamie is to nap it’s usually with Niki.

Jamie and Niki do a lot of dance videos together.

Jamie’s favorite thing to do is to annoy Niki and vice versa.

Niki and Jamie are extremely close despite Jamie being one of the oldest members in the group.

Jamie is extremely protective of Niki.

Niki and Jamie also enjoy watching movies together if they have free time but usually they dance instead.

Niki enjoys bullying Jamie, with love of course.

They constantly tease each other and sometimes bicker.

The literal definition of sibling rivalry. They are constantly trying to one up one another.

Niki always tries to be perfect when performing because he likes it when Jamie sings him such high praise.

If Jamie makes a mistake in anything and Niki notices he turns and pretends he didn’t see anything because he knows how hard Jamie is on himself.

Iconic Moment: During a dance practice Jamie made a slight mistake and it caused him to trip and fall sideways. Niki quickly catches Jamie and asks him if he was okay. Jamie nodded and simply apologized for making the mistake and he felt extremely disappointed in himself.

“Hyung you did a good job, you’re just getting in your head again. We got this, just shake off your nerves I’ll be right here with you!” Niki beams with a reassuring smile.

“You're right, I’m sorry for making a mistake, this take will be better I promise, this is the one guys.” Jamie hums gently.

“Remember to take a deep breath before we start, you are tense.” Niki reminds before giving him a large hug and a pat on the back.

“FIGHTING!” ENHYPEN all shout before redoing the take, Jamie was right that one was perfect.

[moomeecore]

hey, i hope this isnt rude, but i value your thoughts on betty (and simon!) and i think about your various analytical pieces often.

so i hope this isnt too vague, but. ive been thinking about the ways betty and simon might differ from each other, specifically in the way they view...everything. do you think one of them has a 'sees the big picture but misses the small details' view and the other has a 'gets lost in the details, cant see the big picture' view? im not sure if they differ here, or if they are both the 'gets lost in the details' but going opposite ways...?

FINALLY getting around to awnsering this. i got sick so it took me even longer than i thought it would (had to wait until i could retain coherent thoughts)!!

Ok So, a lot of this is extrapolating (esp for betty) and goes very into more of a headcanons and Personal Interpretations area than a, like, canon analysis. in part bc the show dosen’t give us a ton of content of these characters (i mean, there’s plenty of simon content as ice king but im talking about pre and post ice king simon here). but yea im just gonna ramble. dont take this super seriously btw guys. again a lot of this is just personal Interpretation yknow

SO i think simon is definitely a “gets lost in the details guy”. at least like, overall. that man overanalyzes things until he goes into a state of paralysis and then he just passes out. in some ways he might better about this post being-freed-from-the-curse, on the basis of "had to survive the apocalypse by thinking on his feet", but also worse about it bc of the lasting impacts of having been ice king. because one of the Big Things about ice king is that he almost never thought anything through and just did things as soon as he thought of them. i think simon probably really wants to be Not Like Ice King and so might be scared of making choices too fast or acting too impulsive. i imagine he’s very worried about behaving like ice king and thats something thats in the back of his mind most of the time, impacting his confidence in his own choices & actions. but also f&c sorta shows that he has that issue of trauma responses causing him to have emotional outbursts and make quick decisions. so thats something to keep in mind.

i think he's, like stuck in a state of being scared to do things without thinking really hard abt them but then sometimes he does that and then he usually regrets it and feels really awful afterwards. not always guilty-awful even. f&c seems to show him feeling angry a lot. to me simon deals not just with guilt over being ice king or recovering from being ice king or Having strong reactions to things or making choices he regrets… but also with Anger At The Situation - a lot of feeling confused and not sure what to do and overwhelmed, i think . (i like that they let him be angry and frustrated, not just sad and depressed. i think this is very realistic to trauma related emotional responses)

the other thing abt simon is he tends to follow other people's lead on a lot of things. i think he just likes not having to deal with the pressure of making decisions. he seems more inclined to lead around f&c than around, like, finn, though. and betty. but i think that’s in part because he was taking on a protector role w them. but yeah. he does a lot of crazy shit in f&c but very noticeably does not really act as a lead decision maker. until they get to the vampire world and they get attacked for a second that man is yelling orders and breaking a chair over his knee and pulling out a pocket knife to carve it into a stake lighting fast. which i loved that. i loved that he gained so much confidence from being in Panic Mode when confronted w vampires Because those where something he had to deal with in the apocalypse when raising marcy. he had to know what to do for marcys sake. other than that tho he's usually making suggestions at most. and agreeing to do scary crazy shit lmao . EXCEPT he decides on his own in secret to try and contact golb . hehe (motivated by wants to see his wife)

(it also seems like when he feels more confident in something he's much more capable of making choices. (makes sense) he wasnt paralyzed by anxiety when going on that research expedition with betty, probably because he was literally getting a phd (or had a phd, the show was so weird abt that) in that subject. makes sense he knows what he's doing. and also is interesting bc in ep2 of fionna and cake when he goes on an Adventure with finn he's very scared and nervous, but then talks about how he "used to be quite the adventurer in [his] day", which fits into the theme f&c had w his character where he feels out of place and less confident bc his whole ass profession isn't really relevant anymore, and everything is so different from how it used to be. so yeah. current simon has even less self confidence and confidence in his own decision making than Back In The Day simon bc of that)

id like to say that…. i think that the fact that it took betty only a few years to summon and eldritch god to free simon from his curse meanwhile it took simon 12 years to get to the point where he kidnapped a guy to use in a summoning ritual to talk to betty is interesting. bc i really do think they both love each other, and are both obsessive and co dependent. but betty went off the deep end so fast, meanwhile simon took a lot longer to do something comparatively Less Evil for betty. i think that a lot of this is because simon is just less confident in his choices, more nervous about making decisions, and *slower* at making decisions. in part because of a obsessive focus on details (i also think a buncha other stuff contributed to the difference in how long it took betty vs simon to do differing levels of fucked up shit for eachother but Yeah that’s the relevant part.)

i wouldn't say betty is a "think about the big picture, ignore the details" person though, necessarily. maybe compared to simon she is, but she's still a huge fucking nerd. she's an academic! to me she's someone who takes issues and situations that are more subjective and translates them into concretely structured language in order to guide herself through what actions she should take (my friend responded to this with “so what youre saying is betty took a philosophy class and was like ‘aw yes! Math!’” and yeah that is exactly what im saying)

i feel like canon sort of implies this, and definitely doesn't Not Imply It, but i also think canon didn't flesh out her character very well, so in a lot of ways im making my own assertions. but i think she's the type of person who likes to view things in ways that are ....not necessarily less complicated, but more concrete? like she can handle an uber complicated math problem with ease, but the way a math problem is complicated is entirely different from the way a social interaction is complicated, you know. and she's way better equipped for the first one.

so, basically, i think betty would be like: Dosent see the bigger picture.... but in a different way from simon, where instead of getting caught up on and overwhelmed by all the little details, she picks a specific angle to view the situation and then focuses on That, often to the detriment of viewing things from a wider, more complex and nuanced perspective. so better at seeing the bigger picture than simon, but still can miss a Lot…

i also feel like she leans towards viewing things as "identify a problem/issue, then find away to eliminate it" and "identify a goal, and find a way to reach it" . like i feel like she'd tackle social and personal situations in this way. it's not like she can't do things for fun or anything, but like, if she upset simon she'd go into Solving A Problem Mode and be like: “The issue is Simon Is Upset. The goal is Make Simon Not Upset. First i have to identify Why simon is Upset, and then how to make him Not Upset. This is The Current Goal I Must Complete.” like, not in an abstract sense. like shes literally narrating that to herself. i think she likes to focus in on  "what's wrong here and how do i fix it" as opposed to dwelling on emotions and exploring nuance. (which may be a contributor to how she ended up in that “there’s so little me left anymore” state by temple of mars: she was so focused on Fixing the Problem that she didn’t allow herself to really process her feelings too deeply and that took a toll on her mental health.)

simon is maybe more aware of nuance, which could be part of why he gets caught up on details because he's like "this CANT be properly categorized into something more straightforward, there's actually a billion TRILLION little details and that is stressful". like simon desperately wishes things could be simplified down more but is usually like "actually no, a million things are happening actually". he's like me he would get upset if asked to rate his pain or feelings on a number scale at the doctor (i can’t do that shit for the life of me. Those things are far too complicated to put on a number scale in my eyes). meanwhile betty just will force things into concrete categories and steps and factors that Make Sense To Her with intense fervor and if she starts to have a "this is too complicated to address" moment she feels threatened and then tries very hard to reprocess things in a way that is easier, or just does her best to ignore the things that make stuff too complicated to address

i think betty tends to view things in medium-sized chunks that incorporate some but Not All details in a situation, and that she cares about small details and being thorough but feels like accomplishing the goal is the most important thing, so is willing and able to make a quick decision if she feels it's the only choice. like. she had a limited time before the portal closed, and she chose to jump through it, because she thought "the problem is that im not with simon. simon is on the other side of the portal. ill go there" it's not that she doesn't like to think things through. she loves to think things through! its just that OVERALL she is a Doer who wants to solve the problem and thinks taking action and doing something is way better than sitting there and missing an opportunity. betty will think through the details if she has time, but if she doesnt, she just breaks things down into whatever is most easy to digest and process, and then takes the option that seems.like it will get the most desired outcome based on the available info. and also shes just very confident and headstrong. and THATS.  why she punched bella noche

In my eyes betty likes having rules and defined, structured processes about what to do or how to deal with stuff. and she dosen’t really like changing those. she's very autistic. she hates change i think. so does simon. but i think that simon would be more likely to be like: the change in situation is so upsetting that it's making it harder to think and process things, so he just gets overwhelmed and has an even harder time addressing whatever is happening or comprehending it. meanwhile betty is quick to try and find the easiest way to rerout her thinking to fit the new change, she's just really fucking pissed off and stressed out about it (part of this to me is she hates feeling powerless & hates feeling like she might fail). she copes with changes in her surroundings by finding a way to connect the changed situation as well and as fast as possible with her pre existing methods of tackling situations. i think bettys also worse at handling changes in people than changes in situation. to quote my friend when we where texting about this “Situations dont have feelings”.

Like. Betty has so many skills. so much knowledge. but isn’t great with people. And she gets to know people and figures out how to understand them and then THEY CHANGE??? ILLEGAL. and so… like…this is literally her whole thing with simon!! elements seems to imply that betty originally views things as "simon is cursed, i have to fix the curse". but when she makes an attempt to meet simon where he’s at and try to interact with him as ice king, she is unable to handle it. she is upset that he is different, so much so that she concludes the only way to view things is to see them as separate people, even though it was implied that she wasn't doing that before! she was approaching it like he was Simon With Memory Loss…..but then she does her villain betrayal scene and now she's all "things will be back to just me and simon, and you won't exist" . meaning before she directly started interacting with him, she was able to view him as simon, but when she did interact with him for an extended period of time and found out how different he had become, she felt so threatened by this that the only way she could handle it was by switching her view in order to not have to confront the idea that simon could have changed that much. it also meant switching her view to a place where she would be okay hurting simon. but when he starts to protest, get upset, ask what's wrong, and worst of all, insist that he's worthy of respect, that starts to stress her out and she has to talk out loud to herself to reassure herself that she's doing the right thing

and in that scene simon goes "i don't know who this simon guy is, im ice king", which i think is a Big line - he's responded to simon in the past, but doesnt always. Like. he's inconsistent in whether or not he's aware that's a way of referring to him, which makes sense bc he seems to have memory lapses where he remembers things fine one minute and forgets them the next, them remembers about them way later. anyway having him say that simultaneously provides a Confirmation of bettys new perspective, but it also… isn’t meant to. i feel like, to the audience, its saying that "simon has changed so much, he's entirely different now. and this is the way things are, and betty should accept this, but she cant" . to betty its telling her she’s right, but that kind of sucks, because she’s not totally sure how much she wants to be right (she dosen’t want this to be simon, but she also dosen’t want simon to be gone)

(i think the idea of betty Swapping her perspective abt simon during elements as a coping strategy to deal w the panic of What If Simon Is Different + the moral dilemma of potentially hurting him fits nicely into the "betty has bpd" interpretation . my girl is splitting)

(also ik many people interpret simon and ice king as Literally being entirely different people but tbh i think that is way less interesting and doesn't make a lot of sense with the canon. but also ik this is partially because what people consider to be "different people" is subjective.  like it depends somewhat on ur perception of identity and stuff. also having different interpretations is valid and fair and all that - and adventure time is often very loose in its text and there’s lots of ways to interpret it. but whatever man im just saying my feelings and That is and Always Will Be the Same guy to me and i think that perspective is waay more interesting to explore than simon getting possessed by an alternate personality or whatever. so im just going under that interpretation….. i think some ppl would perceive the "im ice king" line as being a conformation of them as separate people but to me it's a more abstract representation of the idea that a Drastic Change has taken place that Cannot be reversed!!.... which. Ok eventually it is but tbh i doubt they even knew how they'd end the show by this point and i still think in the context of elements it still works very well as a way driving home both how betty is Not Handling the Situation Well while also making you empathize with her bc u also know how hard that must have been for her to hear)

i think betty is very person-oriented in a unique way!!she's codependent while also being low empathy, introverted, and in many ways socially inept,  which is an interesting combo! i really get the vibe that she has always struggled socially and had trouble fitting in, so attaches really heavily to people who she does feel a connection to, and works really, really hard to maintain the relationships she has. i like to think she’s scared of rejection…

i think simon is much more empathetic, emotion-driven, and in tune with others than betty, but i also think he can be Very bad at actually understanding other people on many levels - like with his obliviousness to betty being interested in him romantically until she spelled it out for him, or to the impact of bettys earlier sacrifices. simon also, with the mission to get the crown in f&c, despite his empathetic nature and love for his friends, does not seem to consider that putting the crown on would upset his friends. This shows a "focusing on one thing and missing something else" scenario, and perhaps more of a "thinking abt the big picture" (saving f&c's world) over the details (friends would be sad) thing. so that's interesting. (although i think part of this example in particular stems from his self hatred preventing him from really thinking that his friends would be upset if he did that. but in a sense it is focusing on big picture over details). So theres some nuance there i think

BUT Anyway, i think this issue probably is mainly with him struggling to read people, or fully understand others perspectives, despite caring deeply about people and feeling Upset when he can tell other people are Upset. he cares and he feels very emotionally connected to people, especially people he cares about…. he just isn't that great at picking up on things sometimes. (also. Worth noting, i think its def shown that while simon may be very caring towards his friends and is a generally nice and approachable, well meaning person who wants whats best for other people. He still is very capable of Hating People and Doing Bad Things On Purpose. Don’t want to ignore that. also hes very desensitized to bad things happening in many respects lmao. So its not like hes just always super nice and caring and amazing. He still murdered choose goose to death and That is via the power of choose goose being annoying and Simon Loving Betty)

Betty also struggles to understand other people but instead of being downright oblivious to certain things or being unsure and nervous she finds relating to people and understanding their actions and emotions to be actively difficult and makes an active effort to understand people in a bit of a scientist-looking-at-a-subject way. Which can be helpful sometimes and less helpful other times. like. it's good that she has a way to navigate social interactions . but also that way of addressing things isn't always conductive to a healthy relationship, especially when she doesn't really let simon in on the fact that she's making these sort of analyses where she's like "what will maximize Simon Being Happy and how do i accomplish this" sometimes to her own detriment.  simon is just like "wow betty is so confident and good at knowing what she wants" meanwhile betty is like "i will make the best choice For Simon" betty i think is better than simon at reading people but not good at Empathizing With Others Emotions or really Understanding or relating to the emotions behind their actions .

she also is shown to, despite caring So much about simon, not be very considerate or caring towards others (not the same as being low empathy & etc dw im not equating them. Its just on the topic of How She Views Others!!!). To be fair, we don’t see nearly enough of her interacting with people besides simon, but i like to think that she just sorta struggles to really care about and have compassion for Random People but deeply cares about those she is Really close too (but as far as we know, thats just simon)

OVERALLi think they see the world very similarly in some ways and very differently in others and it's an interesting balance. also they are both Autistic. In cconclusion !!

betty

likes to break things down into concrete concepts because she struggles to comprehend more subjective and nuanced experiences, especially in social situations + Feels more comfortable approaching things from a “scientific” perspective because it is familiar and easy for her to navigate; threatened by uncertainty and comforted by things that are more straightforward and well-defined

doesn't dwell on things a ton (esp not as much as simon) because she's very goal-oriented and focused on the Now. she wants to get to the next step. that often then means ignoring Her Own Feelings Or Needs if she deems Other Things to be more relevant or important than them (not good for your mental health) + this also means she’s better at making quick decisions! she cares about details and prefers to have All The Relevant Info but is willing and able to cut things down to a “wider-picture” that helps her make whatever choices will help her achieve her goal - that wider picture just may not always be the Full Actual wider picture.

struggles to put herself in other people's shoes - finds it easier to view herself as an outside party with the goal of achieving the ideal outcome in a social situation. In general has low empathy and struggles to understand/relate to others feelings, which impacts her perspective on things and how she handles/views situations.

(not really mentioned earlier but idk where else to put it:) i also think she has that Autism Trait where you focus in on a specific goal you want to achieve and struggle to focus on anything else until it's accomplished (and that that sort of thinking pattern happened with curing simons curse). where you put off doing anything, even things you could do, until something that you Need to happen (according to your brain, not the real world) happens.  Betty put off being person until simon was saved. she put Everything on hold until she accomplished her mission. and this is in a way a form of not seeing the bigger picture, because its overly focusing on a specific thing at the expense of others

(bettys better at balancing seeing the details & the big picture in a sense, but more like. she picks a medium sized chunk of what is going on and focuses on that and acknowledges details when able to but is willing and able to make split second decisions based on little info and is confident in doing so. but whereas i think simon might have more of a "sees the whole big picture but then gets caught up on the details" thing going on, i think betty just straight up focuses on One Portion of something, of varying sizes, which could or could not he considered a "detail", but then almost completely ignores everything else, viewing things as individual challenges or events that need to be addressed before anything else can be)

simon 

is someone who really likes to think things through, and can easily get hung up on details and can easily get overwhelmed by those details and sent into a state of anxiety-fueled-spiraling or decision making paralysis

this is worse probably for Current simon because he’s also Trying To DIstance Himself from his identity as ice king, and as ice king he had no impulse control and thought things through very little. so simon likely puts even more pressure on himself to think things through! unfortunately hes also Going Through A Lot Emotionally and sometimes that’s too much and he Dosen’t think things through and just acts on how he’s feeling. And that makes him feel Worse about himself and just Everything in general

he is more confident with his decision making skills if he feels more prepared/knowledgeable on the subject at hand or is taking on a caretaker role (like with marcy, or f&c). but currently he dosen’t have a lot of that going on so that kinda sucks for his self confidence. 

simon is better at empathizing with people than betty & at creating connections with others & is more caring towards people he dosen’t know that well - and so may consider Other People more in his perspectives on things. But on the other hand hes not always the best at reading people or understanding their perspectives, even if he feels emotional connections and cares about people, so he can easily overlook other people’s struggles or perspectives within an issue - even if he cares deeply about their wellbeing (very relevant to his relationship with betty)

he’s generally more emotion driven than betty, and dwells on & ruminates about his feelings, sometimes to the point of obscuring his understanding of a situation or his ability to engage with it. On The Other Hand this means he at least acknowledges how he’s feeling meanwhile betty is like “im classifying that as irrelevant information until further notice” lmao. 

he’s better at understanding nuance & subjectivity than betty but this contributes to his habit of getting-overwhelmed by everything & Overthinking

(simon focuses on details over the big picture overall. he easily gets caught up in details and panics. he traps himself in cycles of worrying about details that can paralyze him when making decisions, and so prefers to not have to make choices. BUT simons "paralyzed with fear of making decisions" state can often be overturned by the power of Having Strong Emotions and his decisions may be Less Good because of the power of not being great and understanding other people. he's very emotion-driven and currently suffering from a billion mental health issues so sometimes all that gets in the way of his natural over-thinking. hes got a better understanding of nuance than betty & is better at Empathizing with others and more considerate but not all too great at reading them or recognizing others Feelings or Behaviors)

I THINK I REPEATED A LOT IN THIS. AGAIN, KIND OF JUST RAMBLING. HOPEFULLY IT WAS SOMEWHAT COHERENT

[mmriesoftvat]

maybe ready to come back. but i have some things i need to get off my chest. nothing about tumblr, just shit in my personal life and i need to share.

i have been very very depressed for over 10 years now. every friend i had in person up and left for various reasons. either drifting apart, or crashing and burning the friendship until not even the ashes could be salvaged. to this day i still don't know what happened or even if i had a chance of fixing things.

but that kind of shit eats at you, and it eats away at your very core until there's nothing left. i bounced around here and there, trying to find a sense of community, but even online bonds were fickle and shaky at best.

it's been excellent here. the problem is, as a result of all the shit going sideways in my irl life, i tend to take things a lot more personally online than i know i should. every time something even goes slightly haywire, it fucks with my head and i end up having anxiety/panic attacks, and then my boyfriend gets concerned/angry because i'm curled up in a ball sobbing over "online friendships" and it's just a neverending cycle.

my communication sucks. my guilt over not being here sucks. i figured if i took a break, i'd be able to step back and clear my head some, try to actually separate myself from tumblr and focus on other things. and i did.

i found some form of faith. i won't get into detail over it, but it's providing a comfort i didn't know i needed for so many years. i just needed SOME kind of outlet to turn to, and it's helping me little by little. the past month has been a test of my patience too. my boyfriend got covid, i reconnected with my younger sister, and things are still rocky at home, but slowly becoming a little more stable for me.

all in all, i actually, genuinely feel like i could be some level of okay, for the first time in many years. not pretending, not a glimpse or a fleeting moment of happiness, but a genuine sense of okay that is long overdue.

i don't feel like i've outwardly changed. i still feel like me, just with a newfound sense of happiness. all that said though, the hiatus and break was long overdue. THANK YOU for letting me figure myself out once and for all. the break without the overwhelming guilt definitely helped me out, and because of that, i feel ready to come back.

i'm not going to jump headfirst into things, because i still am and will be addicted to tf2 for some time to come (if you want to play it with me, message me. they finally got rid of the bot infestation), and i am making it a POINT to spend more time with my boyfriend and reconnecting with him. it's something we both needed.

anyway.

chongyun still best boy!

[shytastemakerthing]

Can I please request a romantic TWST and Ikemen Prince matchup! I am veryyy outgoing. I make friends really easy and overall I’m a people pleaser. I do get very anxious and overwhelmed easily, which can cause panic attacks. I dont like sports, but I do like studying and my grades are something I take pride in. I overwork myself a lot and I make myself crumble. I thrive in environments where I get to help people. I tend to fall for possessive people because it makes me feel like someone actually likes me, even though they’re toxic. I get a long with people pretty easily though a lot of people have taken advantage of me because I’m naive and overly kind and I do anything in my power to make sure that people like me. I crave validation so I love being praised and taken care of, it makes me feel like I’ve done something right. I really enjoy video games and puzzles cause they challenge my brain. Its very easy to get me to do anything- just tell me “if you do _____ then I’ll be so proud of you.” And I’ll do it-. I am a little chubby with stretch marks and surgical scars. I have some sensory issues that can cause panic attacks, like loud places/crowds. I also refuse to eat anything that has even the slightest abnormal texture, like green beans, asparagus, or Brussel sprouts. I love love love sweets, and I almost always have a sweet tooth. Thank you!!!

Hello and thank you so much for your request!! While I work on the remaining requests that I have in my inbox, I'll do the match-up for Twisted Wonderland in this post, and then do the Ikemen Prince match up as soon as I have the rest caught up.

I hope that you enjoy your match-up!

Tw: None

I match you with...........

Malleus Draconia

I may or may not have been listening to a Malleus Draconia playlist as I was writing this but it went so well and I loved it

By nature, Malleus is a rather possessive fae. I mean come on, the man is a literal dragon and it is well known just how possessive dragons are, especially of those they care a great deal about.

Now, he won't just go and lock you up in a tower to keep you all to himself, he was taught better than that no matter how much his draconic instincts scream at him

But he lets this side of him show in other ways

Holding you closer when anyone seems to get too close

Appearing by your side the literal second that someone seems to be bothering you

The subtle 'they're mine' that sounds more like a growl towards anyone who approaches you with more romantic intentions

When he loves, he loves with all that he is

Not to mention, with how lonely and isolated he grew up, he craves your presence and your touch. It does not take him long to be addicted to it

You have a sweet tooth?

Well, so does he, his favorite is ice cream

Meaning that there are plenty of ice cream dates

And lots of them

Malleus is one to surprise you at your front door, either to escort you to a nice ice cream parlor he heard about, or he already has said dessert and the two of you can go on a walk or just hang at yours or his dorm, he isn't picky

You always know when he is near, those green fireflies are always an indicator as to where he is. Sometimes he likes to lead you with them to wherever he is at.

The longer you are with him, the more he grows attached. Whether it be just be a simple study time at the library, hanging out at his club, or even just sitting on a bench and enjoying each others company, he loves it all, just so long as he gets to be with you.

Overall, Malleus is a protective lover, possessive as well (though he can't exactly help that side of him, but he is not one to cross the line. Sure, he may not always have the best solution to problems, sometimes being worse, but he really is trying to do his best. He loves you, and that is a fact that he will remind you of every single day.

Thank you so much for your request!!

[november-rising]

The Bear: Season Two, Episode Nine - Omelette

This not-fully-plotted-or-planned post is the fruit of a conversation between myself and @unladyboss (including their observations of Carmy). We were supposed to rewatch THE SCENE from that episode to share our interpretations.

But I tend to do too much which means I watched the whole episode.

It’s been months since I’ve seen Omelette. I certainly remember the significant moments. But, seeing the whole story, allowed me to gain more appreciation for this episode and the show in total.

The driving force – the theme of this episode was focus and unfocus. The writers beat us over the head with the amount of times the word ‘focus’ was said. Yes, I knew this was a crucial arc of the season but watching this play out was fascinating.

We, the audience, are not just told about focus but are also shown how the characters have become streamlined, honing their skills and talents - becoming focused.

In no particular order:

Ebra working on his Serve Safe Certification during prep.

Tina leading the other chefs with precision.

Natalie reviewing the upcoming weeks to keep revenue coming.

Richie commanding the pre-dinner staffing.

Gary and Fak stepping up to be the informants of customer experience/enjoyment.

Marcus using his creativity to craft new desserts.

Uncle Cicero supporting Carmen in those moments leading up to the soft open.

Sydney utilizing her voice to demand respect and to be vulnerable.

Carmen realizing that there is something so important in his life.

Each character was finding purpose, embracing it, and owning their worth. To me, they felt solid and assured. That is everyone except Carmy whose focus wavered throughout.

And that is his greatest fear. Consistency…calm – a focus of his own choosing.

He knows chaos. That’s what his brain and body have become accustomed to due to years and years of childhood abuse and the verbal abuse of that one NYC Chef. Frenzy, hecticness, hypervigilance, planning ten steps ahead, anxiety, disappointment, shame, guilt, anger…so much anger…

These are emotions and “coping skills” that Carmy has depended on his whole life. He tries to mask them, burying or transforming them into his culinary expertise. But here, at The Bear – back home, Carmen is faced with too much stability. He doesn’t know what to do with it.

The expectations that have been placed upon him (internally and externally) are a lot, sure. But he seems to roll with those punches. And he has managed to trust in those around him. That is overwhelming. Things are going fairly well in his life. That is overwhelming. He's dating and taking some semblance of control of his life. That's overwhelming. His vision for the restaurant he wanted to start with his brother is coming true. That’s overwhelming. He has a trusted person standing side-by-side with him in the BOH. That’s overwhelming.

Though Mikey is the catalyst to opening a new restaurant, it’s all the people who are here now that have made it work.

I don’t think Carmy can manage that knowledge. He’s so okay with being alone and driven and self-harming himself in the sense of constant work, lack of self-care, not eating properly, pushing passed exhaustion – you get the picture. He’s not okay in knowing that there are people who genuinely care about him and his dreams; and they have stayed.

People stay.

Sydney stayed.

I believe that’s why he thought of her during his panic attack. Being near her allowed the conversation about Sydney’s mom to happen. He can focus when she’s around. That’s why, when Syd corrected Nat that the fridge guy’s name was Tony, Carmy was in perfect sync. When watching that moment, I thought: “Jinx! You owe her soda!” LOL!

Then there’s the table scene which was utterly glorious. It highlighted his vulnerability concerning his fear dating Claire who was “great”. Carmen doesn't believe he deserves greatness. It's not for him. It's for everyone else.

Under that dang table, he showed his hesitations all the while noticing Sydney. He values her. He made sure she knew.  Towards the end of that scene, the way he looks at her before turning away to go get THE gift, was wow. To me, it seemed like a lightbulb clicked in his heart and soul.

Sydney matters so much to him. He doesn’t want to fuck up for her. But he knows he will. He always does.

[minniepetals]

How much did you cry after writing after each chapter of 'Cry me a river'

I really cried a river, I haven't been like this overwhelmed for a long time and trust me I have to go back time to time to BTS content to realize that they are kind men irl. Gosh you were so good at writing angst, makes me hate you because I fell into deression after reading this but I LOVE YOU A LOADS!!!

and can I know how many chapters are left 'cause I feel like I might get some panic attack (atleast a guess??)

it's hard writing it and wondering if i've gotten my message and emotions across lmao but i can tell you my imaginations be wild because a lot of the sad scenes, i always end up crying.

as for how many chapters left, haha... 💀

i'll break it down to help the both of us lmao. there's 3 chapters left of the norway arc, after that there's probably gonna be another huge thing going on with y/n and the boys (particularly namjoon) -- which may be an estimate of hopefully only 2 chapters. then we're meeting a new "enemy" that may be 2/3 chapters, after that another huge thing with the boys (particularly namjoon) which hopefully will be 1 chapter, then probably the REVEAL! which will maybe be 2/3 chapters? and then another important thing going on, which may be 2 chapters. after that, y/n's meeting her final enemy in the new york arc which will hopefully be 3-ish chapters, and then finally the healing arc which will continue on for maybe a while lmao.

those estimated chapters for the upcoming arcs are probably not reliable (aka will likely be more) because i tend to write more and drag on (not to mention i'd like to add some moments with the other boys as well -- like when i added yoongi with nari and jk with alexander)

so in conclusion there's still 15+ chapters left... 😮‍💨