#the only thing I can do is force myself to study even if I don't want to bc I have a deadline

[oldsoul007]

Ultraviolence

dr. charlie mayhew x dr!reader

request: Hi, can I request for a Doc Charlie Mayhew x rival in med school days reader. They haven't seen each other in years then reader got into an accident and *surprise surprise* Charlie gets assigned to treat her. Some enemies to lovers kinda thing

warning: arguing, puking

Charlie Mayhew and I were both top students in our medical school, each driven by a fierce determination to become the best doctor. From the very first day, we found ourselves constantly competing, whether it was for the highest grades, the best clinical evaluations, or the most coveted internships. Our rivalry was well-known among our peers and even the professors, who often marveled at our relentless pursuit of excellence.

Despite our competitive nature, there was a mutual respect between Charlie and I. We pushed each other to new heights, each striving to outdo the other. Late-night study sessions in the library often turned into silent battles of endurance, and clinical rounds became arenas for showcasing our knowledge and skills.

Mine and Charlie’s argument had reached a boiling point. We were standing in the study lounge, faces flushed with anger, each unwilling to back down.

"Charlie, your method is reckless and could jeopardize everything we've worked for!" I shouted, my frustration evident.

"And your way is so safe it's boring, y/n! We need to take risks to make an impact!" Charlie retorted, his voice equally loud.

The tension between us was palpable. Neither was willing to consider the other's perspective, and our stubbornness only fueled the fire.

"You always think you know better than everyone else," I accused, my eyes narrowing.

"And you never take a chance, always playing it safe," Charlie shot back, his tone biting.

Our argument echoed through the study lounge, drawing the attention of our classmates. But Charlie and I were too wrapped up in our own battle to notice. The more we argued, the more entrenched we became in our positions.

Finally, I threw up my hands in exasperation. "Fine, do whatever you want, Charlie. But don't expect me to clean up your mess."

Charlie glared at me, his jaw set. "I don't need your approval, y/n. I'll prove you wrong."

With that, we stormed off in opposite directions, the argument unresolved and our rivalry more intense than ever.

I was in the middle of stitching up a patient's wound, my hands steady despite the exhaustion creeping in. The room was filled with the usual sounds of the ER—monitors beeping, hushed conversations, the occasional shout for assistance. I could feel someone's eyes on me, and it didn't take long to figure out who it was. Charlie.

I glanced up briefly and, sure enough, there he was, staring at me from across the room. His gaze was intense, almost scrutinizing. It felt like he was waiting for me to make a mistake, to prove some unspoken point. Annoyance bubbled up inside me. I didn't need this right now, not after the night we'd had.

Without missing a beat, I shot him a sharp, rude look. It was a silent message: back off. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't look away. I could feel the tension between us, thick and palpable, but I forced myself to focus back on my patient. I didn't have time for Charlie's games

After a grueling night at the hospital, the group of medical school students decided to unwind at our favorite local bar. The dim lighting and the hum of conversations provided a stark contrast to the sterile, high-pressure environment we had just left. Me and Charlie, both exhausted yet wired from the adrenaline, found ourselves at opposite ends of the bar.

As the night wore on, tensions that had been simmering beneath the surface started to bubble up. Charlie, feeling the weight of a particularly difficult case, made a snide remark about me handling of a patient. Me, already on edge, snapped back, my voice cutting through the chatter. Our friends tried to diffuse the situation, but the stress of their demanding schedules and the alcohol only fueled the fire.

"You know, y/n, I really don't understand how you handled that patient today. It was almost like you were trying to make things harder for everyone."

My eyes narrowed, the tension immediately palpable. "Excuse me? At least I didn't stand around second-guessing every decision like you did. Maybe if you spent less time criticizing and more time actually helping, we'd get things done faster."

Our friends exchanged uneasy glances, sensing the brewing storm. Charlie leaned in, his voice low but sharp. "Maybe if you weren't so stubborn and actually listened to someone else's fucking opinion for once, things wouldn't get so chaotic."

My face flushed with anger. "You’re an asshole, You think you're the only one who knows anything? Your arrogance is infuriating, Charlie. Just because you have an opinion doesn't mean it's always right."

The argument escalated quickly, with both me and Charlie hurling accusations and frustrations at each other. It wasn't just about the patient anymore; it was about the long hours, the constant pressure, and the unspoken competition between us. The altercation drew the attention of the entire bar, but neither seemed to care as they vented months of pent-up stress.

I sat at my desk, textbooks and notes scattered around me. I had been studying for hours, but the material just wasn't sticking. The test was looming, and I felt the pressure mounting. With a deep sigh, she realized she needed help. The last person I wanted to ask was Charlie, but I didn't have much choice.

Reluctantly, I picked up my phone and sent Charlie a message. "Hey, I need some help with the study material. Can you spare some time?"

Charlie responded quickly. "What will you give me if I do” moments later another message comes through. “Sure, I can help. When do you want to meet?"

We agreed to meet at the library later that afternoon. I felt a mix of relief and frustration. I didn't like admitting I needed help, especially from Charlie, but I knew it was necessary.

When we met, Charlie was surprisingly patient and thorough. He explained the concepts clearly, breaking down the material in a way that made sense to me. Despite my initial reluctance, I found myself grateful for his help.

"Thanks, Charlie," I said at the end of our session. "I really appreciate it."

Charlie smiled. "No problem, y/n. We all need a little help sometimes."

As we packed up our things, I couldn't help but feel a bit more confident about the upcoming test. Maybe working with Charlie wasn't so bad after all.

Years later, I found myself in a hospital room, my head throbbing from the accident I’d just been in. I couldn't believe my luck when the doctor walked in and it was Charlie. Of course, it had to be him.

Charlie looked just as surprised to see me. "Y/n," he sighed, his tone professional but his eyes betraying a hint of the old tension between us. "What happened?"

"Car accident," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. "I guess you're my doctor."

"Looks like it," Charlie said, glancing at my chart. "Let's get you checked out."

The examination was awkward, the air thick with unspoken words. Charlie was thorough and professional, but I could sense the tension in his every move. I couldn't help but remember our heated arguments and the unresolved feelings that still lingered between us.

"You're going to be fine," Charlie finally said, stepping back. "Just a few bruises and a mild concussion. You'll need to rest for a few days."

"Thanks," I muttered, not meeting his eyes.

Charlie hesitated for a moment, then added, "If you need anything, let me know. I'll be around."

I nodded, feeling a strange mix of gratitude and frustration. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was relieved that Charlie was there, even if it meant facing the unresolved tension between us.

Charlie walked into the room, clipboard in hand, ready to do his job. "Alright, y/n, let's get this last check-up done," he said, his tone neutral.

I barely looked at him, my irritation clear. "Just get it over with," I muttered, crossing my arms.

Charlie sighed, trying to keep his cool. "I need you to cooperate, y/n. This is for your own good."

I rolled my eyes, clearly annoyed. "Yeah, whatever. Just do what you have to."

Charlie started the examination, but my attitude was getting under his skin. "You know, a little bit of cooperation would make this easier for both of us."

"Maybe if you weren't so insufferable, I wouldn't be so annoyed," I shot back, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Charlie clenched his jaw, trying to stay professional. "I'm just trying to help you. Could you at least try to meet me halfway?"

My eyes flashed with anger. "I don't need your help, Charlie. Just finish the check-up."

Charlie finally snapped. "Fine. But for the record, your attitude isn't helping anyone. I'm just doing my job."

I felt a pang of guilt but quickly pushed it aside. "Whatever."

The rest of the check-up was done in tense silence, both of them stubbornly ignoring the underlying feelings that neither wanted to acknowledge.

Charlie couldn't hold back his frustration any longer. "Y/n, just exactly what were you thinking? You could've been seriously hurt!" he snapped, his voice rising.

I glared at him, my own anger flaring up. "It wasn’t my fault! And why do you even care so much, Charlie? It's not like it matters to you!"

Charlie took a deep breath, trying to calm himself but failing. "Of course it matters! You think I want to see you like this? You need to be more careful."

My eyes softened for a moment as I saw the genuine concern in his eyes. "Why does it matter to you, Charlie? Why do you care so much?"

He hesitated, the words hanging in the air between us. "Because... because I still care about you, y/n. I never stopped."

I felt a lump in my throat. Despite all the tension and unresolved feelings, there was something undeniable between us. "Charlie, I..."

He shook his head, cutting me off. "Just promise me you'll be more careful. I don't want to see you hurt again."

I nodded, feeling a strange mix of emotions. "I promise."

As Charlie turned to leave, the unspoken words and lingering feelings between us seemed to fill the room, leaving both of us wondering what might happen next.

The years had softened some of our rough edges, and the intense rivalry that once defined our relationship had faded into a mutual respect.

The silence between us was comfortable, a stark contrast to our earlier years of constant bickering. As I sat in my hospital bed with charlie sitting next to it keeping me company, memories of our past interactions resurfaced, and we couldn't help but laugh at how far we had come.

Charlie broke the silence first. "You know, I used to watch you work and wonder how you managed to stay so focused. It drove me crazy," he admitted with a sheepish grin.

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I always thought you were just waiting for me to mess up. I guess I never realized you were actually... impressed."

We exchanged a look, and in that moment, it all clicked. The tension, the arguments, the stolen glances—it had all been fueled by something deeper. We had been too stubborn to see it back then, but now, it was undeniable. We had feelings for each other all along.

"Alright, y/n," Charlie began, trying to maintain his professional demeanor. "Let's go over a few things before you leave. First, you'll need to keep an eye on your—"

"—vital signs, particularly any changes in heart rate or blood pressure," I interjected, finishing his sentence with a knowing smirk.

Charlie sighed but continued. "Yes, exactly. And make sure you take your—"

"—pain medication as prescribed, but be mindful of any side effects like dizziness or nausea," I added, my tone light but confident.

He shot me a look, trying to hide his frustration. "Right. Also, you should avoid any strenuous activities for the next—"

"—48 hours, and gradually ease back into your normal routine," I said, my eyes twinkling with amusement.

Charlie couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head. "You know, it's really hard to be the doctor here when you keep finishing my sentences."

I grinned. "Sorry, force of habit. But thanks for taking care of me, Charlie."

He smiled back, the tension easing. "Anytime. Just try not to make a habit of ending up on the patient side of things, okay?"

"Deal," she replied, her smile widening. And with that, the unspoken bond between them grew just a little bit stronger.

I walked back into the hospital, my heart racing a bit faster than usual. I had told myself I was just coming back to grab something I forgot, but deep down, I knew the real reason. I wanted to see Charlie again.

As I made my way through the familiar hallways, I spotted him at the nurses' station, engrossed in some paperwork. Taking a deep breath, I approached him, trying to appear casual.

"Hey, Charlie," I said, my voice steady. "I think I left my, uh, sweater in my the hospital room."

Charlie looked up, a smile spreading across his face when he saw me. "Y/n, hey! I can help you look."

We walked together to the room , chatting about our day. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, but I tried to keep my cool. As we reached the room, she pretended to search for my sweater.

"Found it!" I exclaimed, holding up the sweater I had actually had all along.

Charlie laughed. "You know, you could have just said you wanted to see me."

I blushed, but I smiled back. "Yeah, I guess I could have."

We stood there for a moment, the air filled with unspoken words. Finally, Charlie broke the silence. "Well, I'm glad you came back. It's always nice to see you, y/n."

I felt my heart swell. "Same here, Charlie. Same here."

Charlie took a step closer, his eyes locking with mine. The room seemed to shrink around us, the air thick with unspoken emotions. Without a word, he reached out, gently cupping my face in his hands. My breath hitched, my heart racing as I realized what was about to happen.

And then, he kissed me. It wasn't tentative or hesitant; it was passionate and full of years of pent-up feelings. The world outside the break room faded away, leaving just the two of them in that moment. I melted into the kiss, my hands finding our way to his shoulders, pulling him closer.

When we finally pulled apart, both of us were breathless, our foreheads resting against each other. Charlie smiled softly, his thumb brushing against my cheek. "I've wanted to do that for a long time," he whispered.

I laughed lightly, my eyes sparkling. "Me too," I admitted. And just like that, the years of unresolved tension and hidden feelings began to unravel, leading us toward a new chapter together.

[purplebass]

I was so burned out yesterday and I took a day off from studying and dedicated my afternoon to writing a fic, thinking it would help me distract for a while so I could go back to studying today. The writing session was good (I almost finished the fic yay) but guess what I am not motivated to study again this morning and I can't focus on memorizing info as if my brain refuses to start the task and I want to take another break but I know that I don't have time and idk I feel bad for preferring fic writing to studying but what can I do? The struggle is real

[lifetimeoftired]

Thought more on the 'Batfam in Danny's world' stuff.

Red Robin: What is this? -holds up a clunky early 2000s device he found in Danny's room between his pinched fingers, like it might bite him- Danny: Oh, my PDA? Tucker insisted on buying it for me but honestly I'm not really that great with tech so I don't use it much. He usually follows me around trying to manage my schedule with it. Red Robin: Concerning but, more concerning, this thing... Works? Danny: It's the latest model, so it should? Red Robin: Latest... -trying not to cringe- How do you connect to the internet on it? Or take pictures? Danny, with genuine excitement: Your PDA can do that!? Man, that sounds way cooler than the plastic that lets you see all the stuff inside! Red Robin: I'm In Hell.

Spoiler: Having villains for parents is the worst right? Danny: I mean, my mom accidentally brings the food to life and it tries to bite us. But the keyword is 'accidentally'. They're mostly harmless. Spoiler: They literally just shot at you??? Danny: They shot at Phantom. They don't know it's actually me you know? Also I don't even worry about it. They don't have very good aim since I'm not a danger to them and Dad only gets badass when mom is in danger. Mom's always a badass but it's good dodging practice. Besides, I'd be more worried about them dissecting me, what with the whole, I'm technically an entirely different species that they've been studying their whole life and don't think I'm sentient anymore. But y'know it's whatever. They're not actually all that bad and I know they love me deep down. Spoiler: I'm not sure whether to borrow Hood's guns and shoot you myself or kidnap you away from here and force Batman to adopt you. Danny: Wha-

Danny: Alright a few more adjustments aaaaand there! Signal: Oh wow! Thanks! It's nuce to be able to see again without getting black spots on my vision. There's so many ghosts around it can be hard to see. Danny, biting his lip trying not to laugh: No problem. Signa;: .... What? Danny: Nothing! You look great dude! Signal: ....... Danny: ....... Signal: What did you put on my face!? Danny: Sun glasses! Signal: -skids to a halt in front of mirror and sure enough they're sun glasses. But they're triangular and the hooks go aaaall the way up to hook around the bat-ear points and look completely ridiculous- Danny Why :( Danny: -trying to say 'sorry' through his giggles, but he's not really sorry-

Danny: Uuuuh Red Hood I can't see your face, but I'm kinda worried about how many guns you're loading right now. Red Hood: I just want your 15th birthday party to be safe, okay? Danny: I'll be fine? It'd be nice if the other ghosts gave me a day off sure, but fighting them seems safer. I don't really want my mom to bake a cake anyway. Knowing her it'd just come alive so if they forget this year it's fine. I'm just, those are real guns man. They're dangerous. Red Hood: They are. -cocks gun- For Them.

Robin: >:( Danny: It was a nice try. Robin: Do not patronize me Fenton! Danny: I don't know why or how, but that sounds even more insulting than when Dash does it... Robin: This is an indignity! Fighting immortals entities that cannot be harmed by blade is one thing- but I will not accept being spoken to like a child! Skulker will return and taste my fury! Danny: Hey calm down alright? Robin: Do not test my patience! Danny: I heard you like animals. Wanna meet my purple back gorilla friend? She's really nice and is easy to talk to. Robin: .... The gorilla... doesn't speak does she? Danny: Haha no of course not! I learned her language instead. Robin: ... You are a strange man. However I will accept your proposal for now and I insist you teach me every form of communication with her.

Orphan: :( Danny, who's always been able to understand Cass perfectly, much to the mystery of the batfam and her delight: Aw Cass, I love you guys too. It's been great having your family around- and really I'm flattered! But I can't be your new brother, I'm sorry, but we do live in different realities. Besides, I think I've had enough of people trying to adopt me. Orphan: ? Danny: Yeah my godfather is a total fruitloop. Always trying to kill my dad and marry my mom who hates his guts and get me to call him father instead. Like, he even tried to clone me and copy my brain into a new body right? Or that time he rigged the election to become mayor just to mess with me. And hiring actually competent ghost hunters so I'd quit (kinda wish I could quit actually but it's fine). His obsession with me can get out of hand sometimes you see. Orphan: >:( -cracks knuckles- Danny: What? No! I don't need protecting really! I can handle him just fine. Now that I'm thinking about it though, I dunno what he'd do with Jazz. He never seems to actually talk about her beyond that one time he tried to get her to attack me- huh? Orphan: -disappeared- Danny: ...... That probably won't come back to haunt me.

[i99zhuo]

A routine inspired by thewizardliz ? She has skin care hair care routine reads motivating books

How to live like thewizardliz 🧚🏼‍♀️🪄⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ quit your lazy girl era!

This is a guide on daily routines inspired by Thewizardliz! This routine is perfect to stop being lazy and pathetic and finally start taking care of yourself!

content list (routines):

morning

study

workout

shower + self care

night

(_ _ ) . . z Z⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚୨ :★: ୧ ∗  ˖࣪ ໒꒱  ˚₊·

✸ ꒰ morning routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧼 First things first, after you wake up make sure to drink water to boost your metabolism throughout the day! Also, create a mind movie so you can watch it everyday after you wake up.

Now, take your journal and start writing about your dream, ideal higher self, ask yourself questions like ‘What reality do i want to create?´ 'Who do i look up to?’ ‘What is the behavior I need to change about myself?’ ‘What's a new habit that I would like to create?’ ‘What is a thing I can focus on right now?’. After we have in mind who we want to become, it's important that every little decision you make today is centered to achieve your goals, and become your dream self. You can listen to a podcast while doing this so you get motivation!

💶 Then, head to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror and start repeating positive affirmations, such as ‘I am so beautiful’ or ‘My hair looks so pretty today’, even if you don't believe it, having a positive mindset is going to help us to stay in track with our goals!

Take care of your teeth, Liz says that our smile is one of the most important things in a person, and one of the key things that is going to make you more attractive! so, make sure to brush your teeth, floss, clean your tongue, etc.

🛣 Liz has a rather simple skincare routine, since her skin is so sensitive, it only consists of using a foam cleanser, moisturizer and eye cream to help with her eye bags.

Next step is to research and find our own personal clothing and makeup style, find out your body type, personal color, face shape, etc. It doesn't matter if you have to mix multiple styles that already exist to make your own! The most important thing is to feel comfortable while wearing those clothes or having that type of makeup on your face.

🏔 Liz doesn't like to force herself to have breakfast, she just dont eat if she's not hungry, however if you are hungry rather than focusing on calories focus on how nutritious your meal is. Whatsoever if you are not hungry and you are not going to eat, make sure to always take your vitamins and supplements!

✸ ꒰ study routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Yes, it's time to drink a little more water!

⛰ Liz doesn't have a settled study routine but, it's important to spend our time wisely, if you can finish an assignment way before the time it's due, DO IT! Also, she emphasized that knowledge leads to confidence. If you put effort in your studies, every little thing in your life will slowly fall into place.

✸ ꒰ workout routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

First, set healthy goals, like toning up your body or building muscle, try not to make ‘just being skinny’ your goal.

🧩 second, don't measure yourself with a scale or measuring tape and focus on how you look in the mirror, are you satisfied? if you are then you are done with the intense workout routine!

Liz goes to the gym and has her own personal training program, but here’s some kind of exercises she recommends; weight training, pilates and dancing with her main focus being toning up her abs and butt.

🏄‍♀️ Remember to drink water and that consistency is more important than perfection, go at your own pace, it doesn't matter if you can't do a 2 hour workout and look snatched in 3 days and you can only do a 5 minute workout, every little effort adds up!

✸ ꒰ shower and self care routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Before showering, do dry brushing to exfoliate your skin and increase circulation (1-2 times per week). Then use shampoo and conditioner, research to find the best one for you, what may help others won't help you. Liz also uses a hair mask 1 to 2 times per week to get that shiny silk hair.

🎾 After showering take some time to shape and pluck your eyebrows depending on your face shape and what impression you want to give! 

Liz uses face masks 1 to 2 times per week to cleansing her face deeply, then she does her skincare. After applying all the products do a lymphatic massage on your face and neck, you can also cool down your face with massagers or cold spoons for an extra depuff.

🍾 For self care, you can journal again, search for shadow work prompts, think of what things you should unlearn and relearn and don't forget to practice gratitude. Or you can take time to clean your room or house, you deserve to have a clean safe place! 

Oh! and don't forget to drink water again.

✸ ꒰ night routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧃 Time for dinner! (only if you are not full yet), again, make sure to focus on nutrients rather than calories. Don't forget to drink a glass of water with your dinner. You can watch a documentary while eating to keep gaining even more knowledge.

Now, do your oral hygiene routine again. Also, put on eyelash conditioner and serum to wake up with perfect lashes! Then wear a silk cap or do a protective hairstyle to protect your hair from getting damaged while you're sleeping.

🍵 Then get in bed and drink a cup of tea with collagen to start relaxing your body. and it's finally time to manifest! watch your mind movie again and use your most useful method (affirming visualizing, subliminals, etc.), don't forget to ask god, the universe or whatever you believe in for signals and help!

Afterwards, you can read an inspirational book like ‘atomic habits’ or ‘the art of thinking clearly’ to keep nourishing your brain. keep a reachable goal like reading 5 pages everyday and then decide if you want to continue reading or not.

🥬 Before sleeping listen to a guided meditation, liz have one to be more confident and one to attract money, choose one that aligns with your goals!

Finally fall asleep in a healthy sleeping position, Liz sleeps in her back looking at the roof, but you can choose your favorite position, don't forget to get a pillow that fits the position (example: tall and lofty pillow -> for sleeping on your side)

🍈 Good night!

Woah second request done!! hope you liked this one was pretty fun to do and I might add some of these things in my own personal routine so I don't fall back into laziness, anyways how about you guys??

toodlezzzz!1!!!!!

[biscuitdolly]

୨ৎ absolute necessities .ᐟ

if you're trying to glow up, get healthier, etc, these are the very basics that you absolutely NEED to follow!

01, WATER .ᐟ

Staying hydrated is crucial for your health and wellbeing. While the recommended daily intake is 8 cups of water, you can gradually increase your consumption over a few weeks if that seems too overwhelming. Drinking enough water provides numerous benefits, from clearing skin and flushing out waste, to boosting exercise performance and supporting weight loss. Despite being the very essence that sustains life, water is often underappreciated.

02, FOOD .ᐟ

I used to skip breakfast, thinking it would help me lose weight. However, studies show that those who eat breakfast tend to lose more weight and keep it off longer. The truth is, food is incredibly important. It's best to regulate your eating habits by consuming at least 3 meals per day, even if they're only small portions. Some food is better than no food. If you want to go on a diet, that's fine! but make sure you research healthy dieting methods. At a minimum, eat one serving of fruits and vegetables daily, and try to increase that to five servings per day if possible. Proper nutrition is key for your overall health.

03, HOBBIES .ᐟ

i have this previous post regarding hobbies you could try! It's so important to find fun activities that you genuinely enjoy and look forward to doing. Hobbies add fun to your life and pose as a nice break from technology and the stress of work and school. They also greatly improve symptoms of depression and anxiety. You could do some physical activity, such as a sport you like, or something more calm and creative, like painting or writing.

04, SLEEP .ᐟ

a lot of people struggle to fall asleep at a decent time. Try getting ready for bed early. Personally, I tend to take off my make up and do my skincare immediately after i come home for school/work so i don't have to worry about it before bed.

Technology is probably your sleeping schedule's worst enemy, as the blue light from the screen keeps your brain awake, so try to pause screen-related activities at least an hour before bed. Also, try not to snack 2 - 4 hours before you go to sleep. This is because lying down makes it harder for your body to digest food, which can result in sleeplessness.

Forcing yourself to go to bed super early isn't helpful either. Like I've mentioned in my other points, take things slow and gradual!

05, SOCIALIZATION .ᐟ

Engaging in simple social interactions, such as conversing with family, seeing friends, or greeting people on the street, is incredibly important. Isolating yourself in your room all day accomplishes nothing.

There was a time when I dreaded spending time with friends, convinced I lacked the energy or mood. However, once I forced myself to make plans, I realized how much I genuinely enjoyed their company. Other people are what make life truly worthwhile. So why not reach out to a friend right now and invite them to hang out tomorrow?

06, ACTIVITY .ᐟ

you don't need an exercise routine if you don't want one, but simple physical activity is still a daily necessity! At least 30 minutes is recommended. Personally, i most enjoy plugging in my headphones and going on a walk around my neighbourhood for an hour or two.

07, SELF TALK .ᐟ

Arguably one of my most important points, quit the self-deprecating talk. You never realize how much it affects you until you quit it. Yes, you can absolutely get that assessment done. Yes, you are a likable and amazing person. Just keep affirming and reminding yourself that you are worthy, and you will attract so many good things. Trust me, it will help you so much in the long run.

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

Guide for manifesting weight loss:

So an Anon asked me to make this and here it is, it will help others too.

As we all know that we often struggle with achieving our weight goal,doing workout,keeping a strict diet and eating healthy etc...

All of this was created by man, a man-made creation like Times, Machines, names, studies, science and many more.

And of course this was all coming from the imagination.

But i'm here to tell you that nothing is set in stone, your beliefs/assumption are the true fact.

Don't do things that you don't want to, just for you to loss weight ,because some non loa-believe people told you to.

Do whatever you want! Cause you make the rules and you control your own reality.

And you should be grateful that you discovered loa out of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE that are living miserably, believing that they should work hard to have what they want, following society rules.

Knowing your true power:

You need to understand that you are what we call God ,an Infinite being that could do anything without limitation.

You Can be whoever you want, get anything you want and more, even manifest the most illogical things, and this all because you're a consciousness that Can decide whoever version of themselves is gonna be.

But does God need to follow the rules? Does god need to do method? Does god need to do challenge? NO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUR MIND TELLS YOU TO, HELL! EVEN YOU CAN CREATE YOUR OWN RULES AND METHOD.

YOU ➜ God (imagination) ➜ create your own rules and method and Can manifest anything you want into your reality.

You Can be a model, having that pretty face, being a billionaire, living in that penthouse, having a yacht, fancy car, being with your handsome/pretty SP, having that perfect body. Having superpowers, having a little fairy, having a Magic portal in your room and swimming in money and MANY MORE.

All of that with what? Without even Lifting a single little finger, everything you ever wanted already EXIST, there's many versions of yourself with your desires, and with just that pretty powerful mind of yours.

Understanding the Law:

The law of assumption indicate that whatever you assume to be true will Harden into fact with persistence.

Manifesting your desires into the physical reality just requires you to change your inner self so that the outer World will follow.

The 3d is a mirror ➜ changing your self (4d) ➜ persisting ➜ the 3d will reflect your 4d ➜ yay! You have your desires in the physical reality.

It is very simple and easy.

All of this just needs discipline and having faith in yourself and your true power as a god.

Now the important part of this post.

How to manifest weight loss while ignoring the 3d:

We do know that manifesting weight loss might seem difficult for the most of us.

While you're manifesting and there's the people that surround you Always ALWAYS complaining and pointing about your appearance, your weight and that might get you very pissed off and angry.

I am myself suffering from this, my parents Always pointing at my appearance,saying that i look fat (and that not true they are just exaggerating things, my Friends told me that i have a beautiful body but i hide it with over-sized clothes cause i'm insecure), and they force me to go workout when i don't want to (cause obviously i hate sport and socializing) and which caused a HUGE ARGUMENTS with them, and i Lost it (cause i have anger issues) but they didn't listen they told me it for my own good🙄 my ass, so i had no choice but to listen to them but i'm DONE FOLLOWING SOCIETY RULES AND BELIEFS.

So yeah i'm not listening to anybody but my personal beliefs cause i'm the only one who knows the truth, the cheat code to life.

you Can eat whatever you want and with the belief that you won't gain a single weight and it's will become a fact.

Your beliefs and assumption matters and don't listen to anybody.

Okay so now you might wonder how to manifest weight loss while interacting with the 3d every single day and it very simple:

➜ firstly choose what desired weight or body you want to manifest.

➜ secondly knows that you do already have it in imagination and creation is finished, you're already that version of yourself that is skinny or muscular.

➜ thirdly you need to keep persisting no matter what the 3d tells you cause that will make the subconscious really believes you're that desired version of yourself.

➜ and lastly dismiss the 3d, if the people surrounding you keep pointing at your appearance just ignore them and affirm in your head that you already have your desired weight or body and knows that the 3d will change.

You really need to throw Logic in the trash Cane, Logic won't get you anywhere but imagination will.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." Albert Einstein.

"Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere" Albert Einstein.

"You believe in God? Believe also in your imagination" Neville Goddard.

You want to have that perfect body? Yes you Can, you want to have that Chinese standard Body? Yes you Can! You want to be muscular and lean? Yeah you definitely Can.

Just pick and choose, fulfilling yourself in your imagination and accepting it as fact and the 3d will follow.

Seriously it is really simple, just don't overcomplicate it.

Just have faith and trust in yourself and you'll definitely do it.

I don't want anybody sending me Ask in my Inbox After this post.

Go apply and you'll definitely thank me for it. (Read this one)

I advice you to read these post they're really Amazing and it will surely make it click for you:

This, and this, this and this, this one, and this one, this, this, this, this,this one, and this, this last one.

And lastly you're the only one that Can change your reality, no one Can do it for you, you're already a master manifestor and void master and you're on the pedestal.

You were meant to change your life and live in happiness and wealth.

_ Xoxo, Eli

© Scentedpeachlandcreator

[willieverseetheland]

flipside ch. 1

Dexter Morgan x PI!reader

based on this ask!

Summary: You're a private investigator hired to look into Dexter Morgan on suspicion of infidelity, but you uncover something much darker. Warnings: None for this chapter, but typical Dexter warnings in the future (death, violence, blood, etc)

"Are you gonna hurt me now Or are you gonna hurt me later?"

You took this job for a bit of quick cash; infidelity investigations are always fast and easy, but not this one. This one would lead you down a path you would never return from. You got in far too deep this time.

///

Sunlight beams through the sunroof of your car, it's a cool spring day in Miami. You moved here five years ago from Baltimore, Maryland. Although, you grew up around the ocean, everything about Florida is drastically different. You don't complain though, the weather is a dream compared to back home. You were a cop, a good cop, even reaching detective. After everything happened, it just didn't make sense to continue, as if everything was the same. So, you moved to Miami for a fresh start. You weren't really sure about being a cop again, it just didn't feel correct. But you missed the detective work, the investigating. Being a private investigator just made sense. Life has been good to you. You have a steady job, one that you're actually quite good at. You were scared you would never be good at anything again. You scan your surroundings, it's a nice, peaceful neighborhood. Parked in front of a small, yet cute little house, you're here to interview your new client. You're not hesitating because you're scared, you're hesitating because clients in her particular predicament tend to be very emotional, something you've never been too good with. You understand, of course. Cheating is a horrible thing, but comforting people has just never been in your skillset.

You exit your vehicle and make your way to the door, knocking firmly. A bright-eyed blonde-haired woman opens the door. She's gorgeous you can't help but think, who could possibly be unfaithful to her? She motions for you to step inside.

"I just want to thank you for coming, it's been really hard" she gives you a small smile, but you detect a hint of sadness behind it

"Of course, happy to help" you say, forcing a smile in return

"Well, I guess I should introduce myself. Rita Bennett" she outstretches her hand for a handshake

"Y/N L/N, private investigator" you reach out, enveloping her hand in a firm shake

She walks over to the kitchen table and has a seat, beckoning for you to follow. You sit across from her, resting your elbows on the table and interlocking your fingers.

"So, Rita, I understand that you hired me to investigate your boyfriend for infidelity. Could you tell me some details about that?"

"He's in recovery, for drugs, and his sponsor is a woman. I know that men and woman can have relationships that aren't sexual, but he's been acting suspicious. He's out all hours of the night, he hardly calls me, he spends most of his free time with her. I know they could just be doing step work, but can you blame me for being suspicious?" she sounds exhausted, like she's been struggling with this for a while with no one to talk to.

"Well, those are definitely typical signs of cheating. Could you provide some details about him, so I know who to look for, and possibly a photo as well?"

"Of course, his name is Dexter Morgan. He's a blood spatter analyst at Miami Metro Police Department. He drives a blueish gray Ford Escape. Here's a photo" She slides a picture across the table, it's the two of them together, they look happy. You analyze the photo, studying his features, trying to burn them in your mind.

"What about his suspected mistress, could you tell me some things about her?"

"I don't know much; I've only seen her a few times. She has black hair, dark eyes, probably about 5'6 or 5'7, slender, pale. Beautiful. Pretty much the opposite of me." She looks down, you can see the hurt in her eyes.

"But I don't know where she lives or what she does for work, sorry" She looks up to face you, a single tear falling down her cheek.

"Um, that's okay, you've told me enough to identify her. Thank you." you give her a somewhat pained smile; you'll admit you're feeling a bit uncomfortable now that the waterworks have started.

You stand up, reaching out to give her another handshake.

"I'll get on it immediately. I'll figure this out, I promise." you give her an assuring look

...

You decide your first move should be to go to his place of work. You set up in the parking lot, further from the rest of the cars but close enough to get a good view. You scan the lot, looking for his car. You spot it, now all you have to do is wait. It's only noon so you're gonna be here awhile. You pass the time by reading, snacking, and pondering your existence. You hear a car alarm chirp causing you to look up. It's Dexter in the flesh, getting into his car. It's go time.

You follow him, as discreetly as possible. He leads you to an apartment complex. You park a few rows away, again trying to be discreet. You watch him walk to apartment #10B. He unlocks the door and walks right in. You sigh. Must be his apartment. You debate whether you should wait and watch or if you should turn in for the day.

You remember what you're being paid for and decide to stay.

...

You wake up hours later, it's dark out now. You must've fallen asleep. You look for Dexter's vehicle but can't find it, he must've left.

"Fuck!" you exclaim, how could you have let this happen?

You get the idea to snoop around his apartment. You know it's probably locked but maybe you could look through the windows. It likely won't lead to anything but you figure you have to try something. Taking your camera, you head to his unit. Looking through the windows you don't see much, the lights are off so it's hard to see much of anything. It's clean at least, and well decorated. A bit rare for a man you think. As you're looking through the windows you see headlights shining from behind you, turning around to see Dexter's car pulling into the parking lot.

"Oh shit!" you shout while ducking down. You run to the other side of the balcony and hide around a corner. As Dexter is walking up the stairs you notice he looks a little disheveled. His hair is a mess and he's sweaty. That could be something you think. You pull out your camera and snap a few photos. The lighting is horrible right now, but you have to work with what you have. You sneak back to your car, praying he doesn't see you. You know these pictures don't prove anything but they're a step in the right direction. You decide to turn in for the night, hoping you'll find more tomorrow.

...

You wake up bright and early the next morning to get a head start. From what Rita has described, Dexter seems pretty dedicated to his job so it's not likely that much will happen before or during the workday. However, maybe you could catch him on his lunch break. Would be a perfect time to pay his side piece a visit. You grab a coffee and head over to Miami Metro PD. At around 11:40 you see Dexter exit the building. He gets in his car and you're tailing him yet again. He stops at a diner; you make sure to park a few spaces behind him as not to draw attention to yourself. He sits outside, perfect. You watch him closely with your camera ready. He sits in solitude for a few minutes, but wouldn't you know it, soon a slender dark-haired woman comes to join him. You grab your camera, watching very intently. Waiting for him to slip up, get too comfortable. They seem to be having a pretty serious conversation, looking into each other's faces with emotion. The dark-haired woman reaches out and grabs Dexter's hand and Dexter places his on top of hers in return. You take quite a few photos of this, but it's not incriminating enough. You need something more. You continue watching them for a while, but much to your annoyance, nothing else happens. The two depart and Dexter returns to work.

Instead of sitting at his work waiting for him, you decide to watch his apartment. Maybe the woman will swing by, if she has a key then that will obviously be suspicious. You watch his apartment for hours but again come up with nothing. It'll be dark soon and Dexter hasn't pulled in yet. He could just be busy with something completely innocent, but it could be more. You drive by the police department to see if his vehicle is still there, it's not. You call Rita to ask if he's there and she says no. It's probably a lost cause but you really need a lead. You need to find something.

It's not that you want him to be cheating, that would be horrible for Rita, but you hate coming up empty handed. It makes you feel like an inadequate detective. You swing back by his apartment and he's still not there. Nothing else for you to do but wait. At around 2:00 am he finally shows up. Pretty late for a blood spatter analyst. He's wearing a different outfit than earlier, which could be a coincidence sure, but he's also carrying a large black duffle bag. You pull out your camera and take as many pictures as you can. Again, it could be nothing, but the circumstances are definitely weird.

Introductory chapter for this miniseries im doing based on a recent ask! I'm not sure where this is going to go but i'm excited! Also yes, the title is inspired by miss lana herself, the song was stuck in my head and i couldn't resist. I'll tie it in i swear!

[mentally-a-slut]

Can I request "The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop." For Gale with female reader please?

Ahhhhh tysm for requesting! You are my first request! Since you didn't give any specifics about the time frame, I just assumed you wanted it to take place within the events of the game, but it didn't really matter anyway. The reader is left undescribed, though it is implied that she is shorter than Gale. I hope I did your request justice, and let me know what you think!

Prompt: "The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop."

Rating: E

Warnings: I got carried away and made "spicy" into straight up smut... oops? oral (f!receiving), porn with very little plot, smut

Flirting with Gale was a dangerous game. The back and forth we had going on had been constant, never pausing. I loved bantering with him, but the consistent pull back was beginning to kill me.

Harmless flirts with friends are fun, but I had made it abundantly clear to the wizard that it was more than just friendly banter. And as far as I'm concerned, he's been returning that same energy. And yet, every time we get past the line of flirtatious remarks and balance on the edge of action, he would completely pull away. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was afraid of intimacy.

At first I thought he just didn't like me that way, only wanted to banter with nothing coming of it. But something in the way his eyes glittered when he looked at me told me my attraction was not one sided.

When I went to the others for advice, they gave me jack shit. Astarion thought it was hilarious that I was asking him for romantic advice. I had to threaten to cut off his blood supply just to get him to quite yelling about it. Karlach just told me to "fuck it out," whatever that means. Shadowheart just kind of stared at me blankly. I didn't even bother asking Lae'zel, because I value my life. Wyll had good intentions, but he ended up rambling on about proper courtship methods and respectfully, I couldn't care less.

I had exhausted all of my options, which left me with the one thing I had been avoiding: talk to Gale about it.

It was a cool night, a nice change from the overwhelming heat that had layered over our group the last few nights. The day had been uneventful for once, little more than a few ambushes along the roads and some cackling hyenas. The mood around camp was significantly light than usual, everyone content with the lack of carnage.

I didn't give myself much time to rethink my actions, deciding to force myself into the conversation before I could chicken out.

Gale sat in his tent, reading a book with the doors pinned open for anyone to enter. He always stayed awake later than the others, often waiting until everyone else had closed their tents for the night to follow suit. He thought nobody noticed, but it was one of the many things that made me gravitate towards him. He was so naturally protective, unknowingly watching out for everyone.

As always, I took a moment to admire him before he noticed my presence. He looked so calm, contently scanning the pages of the tome in his hands. His everlasting yearning for knowledge was something I couldn't help but admire. I watched as his fingers curled under the parchment of the book and gently flipped the page, hands calloused from years of magical studies.

Gods, his hands that were so veiny and strong, rough but gentle, perfect to glide across my skin and make me shiver with-

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I jumped at the sound of his voice, my thoughts that had previously consumed me dissipating. My face felt hot, blushing as if he was able to read my runaway thoughts. "Hi!"

I internally scolded myself for how not-smooth I was being. He carefully marked his place in the book before setting it aside, still seated in his chair as he looked up at me expectantly. His lips twitched into an amused smirk. Handsome bastard knows exactly what he does to me.

"Did you need something from me?"

I tilted my head at his question, blinking as my thoughts grew a mind of their own. I need you to kiss me until I can't breath. Touch me all over and make me shake with pleasure. I shook my head, gathering my thoughts before saying: "Just... wanted to talk to you about something."

He raised an eyebrow, an action that would have had me down on my knees if I had even just a tad bit less dignity. "Is it... a good something, or a bad something?"

My heart started racing in my chest, blood rushing in my ears. "Uhm... well, I suppose it depends. I think it's a good something, but, well, I can't speak for you..."

He stood from his seat, his movements quick but not aggressive. He always took care to control his actions, never making them seem offensive or startling. My eyes widened slightly when he reached behind me to unpin the tent flaps and let them fall closed, his frame slightly hovering over me for a moment as he did so.

His expression was open, concern and care written all over his face. "You can always talk to me. I'm here to listen."

Good gods I want to suck his dick until his brain explodes.

I cleared my throat and shifted nervously, looking up at him. "Right! So, I just... well, I was talking to the others about- actually that's not a good place to start, uhm..."

His amused smirk didn't go unnoticed. He had always liked when I got nervous, especially if he was the reason. "Take your time, darling."

Fucking Hells, he is trying to kill me.

I fought the urge to avert my gaze, forcing myself to keep eye contact. "Uhm, so, you know how we... well, obviously you know, but I mean- Fuck's sake, I mean to say, you know how we, like, flirt?"

His expression didn't falter, smirk growing into a knowing grin. He hummed an acknowledgement that sent vibration through my body, making my heart race even faster. His gaze flickered over my face, then quickly swept down my body, almost fast enough to miss.

"Well, I- Not that I don't like it, I love it! I- I mean, I don't want it to stop I just- Gods damnit, I just wanted to ask- shit... Why don't you just fucking kiss me already?!"

The silence that followed my stuttering words was overwhelming, blanketing over me and making me want to melt away into the earth to never be seen again. My embarrassment only worsened when I heard the slightest chuckle from the man in front of me. My heart dropped as every worst case scenario ran through my head.

He's going to laugh at me, tell me it was just for fun, that he would never want to be with me, he's going to make fun of me to everyone else-

"The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I would be able to stop."

I was suddenly aware of how hot it was in the close quarters of the canvas tent, and how Gale was only a few inches in front of me. I brought my eyes up to meet his, blinking rapidly as I tried to process what he just said. His stare held mine, a underlying air of vulnerability in his confession. With a shaky breath, I managed to utter out my response.

"Who said you had to stop?"

His lips crashed against mine within seconds of my hushed words, heated kiss melding our lips together. His hands, his gorgeous hands that I had spent weeks fantasizing about, were gripping my waist and pulling my body flush against his. My mouth moved in sync with his so naturally, so smoothly, that we could have been made for each other.

When I realized my hands were idle, I quickly remedied it and wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn't even notice I was tangling my fingers in his hair until I tugged lightly and was rewarded with a soft groan against my lips. The noise spurred me on, and I nipped at his lip lightly. Soon, our tongues were wildly clashing together, breathing heavy as involuntary sounds of pleasure were exchanged within the kiss.

I yelped when he suddenly lifted me off the ground, hands firmly gripping my ass as he held me. I held onto him, giggling into the kiss as he pressed against me. The stiffness of his arousal against my thigh was enough to make me shiver with anticipation, and he noticed.

He pulled away from my lips reluctantly, settling his forehead against mine. "As much as I want to do this," he glanced down at our positioning, my core level with his growing erection, "I want our first time to be something special."

I tried not to show my disappointment, silently nodding as I prepared myself to drop back onto the floor. As I loosened my thighs from his waist, I squeaked in surprise when his hands roughly squeezed my ass. "Ah ah, I didn't say I was doing to leave you wanting, did I?"

My cheeks reddened as I realized what he was implying. "Oh, Gale, you don't have to-"

"I want to. Trust me, I really, really want to."

His words were drawn out, almost a moan as he pleaded. His darkened eyes were practically begging. "I... If you're sure-"

He cut me off with a searing kiss, turning us around and laying me down on his bedroll. My whole body tingled with excitement as his body hovered over mine, lips desperately kissing down my neck. With the way he was panting as he nipped and kissed down my body, I could almost say he was more excited then me.

His stare was piercing as he looked up from my waist, silently asking for permission. I couldn't help but smile as his fingers grazed the waistband of my pants, impatiently fidgeting with the fabric. "Yes, please, Gale."

He all but tore them off, taking both my pants and underwear off in one go. His hot breath tickled my arousal, and I sighed as his hands lightly caressed the insides of my thighs. His touches were gentle, slow movements spreading open my legs and bearing my glistening entrance to him. I tilted my head up to look down at him, only to find his gaze transfixed between my legs. He practically whimpered his next words: "So fucking pretty for me."

I couldn't help but moan at his words, the heat of his breath ghosting over my clit. His eyes broke away for a moment to look at me, and he gave me a smile that made my heart swell before he dove in.

His beard rubbed against my thighs as his lips and tongue explored my cunt, the burn of his jaw emphasizing the blinding pleasure of his mouth. He moaned against me as he licked a long stripe along my folds, the teasing sensation sending a jolt of want through me. Before I could beg for more, his lips wrapped around my clit, sucking gently as he teased a finger at my entrance.

All coherent thought was left behind, all I could think about was Gale, Gale eating my pussy, moaning into me, rutting into the air as he pleasured me. "Fuck, Gale, please!"

He hummed against me, the vibration adding to the pleasure. He slipped a finger into my dripping hole, pulling his mouth away from my clit to look up at me. "Look at you, darling, so wet and ready for me."

I moaned as he pumped his finger, keeping eye contact with him. When he teased a second one, I couldn't stop my head from falling back with a moan. "Please!"

With a soft groan, he did as I asked. "As you wish."

The stretch of his second finger burned deliciously, his pace torturously slow. My walls pulsed around him, the softest parts of me jolting as he brushed against them. His thumb brushed against my clit as he quickened his pace. I reached out a shaky hand, tangling my fingers in his soft hair and tugging him forward.

He moaned at the tug, immediately replacing his thumb with his mouth. My back arched off the bedroll as he sucked harshly, his fingers brushing against all the right spots. He teased another finger, and my grip in his hair harshened. It must have encouraged him, because he soon plunged a third finger inside of me and relentlessly flicked his tongue over my clit as he finger fucked me.

My thighs began to constrict around him, orgasm fast approaching. He groaned against my cunt, gripping my thighs open and speeding up. "Fuck, I'm close!"

Another hum against me had my walls pulsating, orgasm crashing through me as he coaxed me down with his tongue sending overwhelming jolts of pleasure through me.

He gently removed his fingers, caressing my thigh as he swept his tongue through my folds, gathering my arousal. His gentle movements soothed me through the slight overstimulation as he cleaned me up with his tongue. My vision was unfocused, aftershocks still rolling through my body as he finally pulled away, slowly kissing up my body before planting a sweet kiss on my lips. I chased his kiss as he pulled back, and he chuckled as I pouted. "You did so well for me, love."

I whined at his words, desperately clawing him towards me and pulling him into a slow, sensual kiss. His clothed erection prodded my bare thigh, and he groaned when I shifted against it. "Don't tease me, darling."

I smiled up at him, tilting my head. "Is that a threat?"

He gave an amused hum against the skin of my neck, speaking between soft kisses. His words were teasing, yet heavy with intention.

"It's a promise."

[genericpuff]

I'm honestly amazed by how well you can imitate the LO S3 art style! Have you always been good at this sort of thing or is it a skill you developed due to your work as a tattoo artist?

ahhh thank you, but ima let you in on a little trade secret -

it's literally just referencing LMAO which is a valuable skillset to have! but one that I think a lot of folks tend to overlook because they think "learning to draw" means "I need to be able to draw everything perfectly from imagination!" Which sure, learning how to draw things without needing references might be cool, but it's ultimately not the sole defining feature of a "good artist" and I think there's frankly way too much emphasis put on "drawing without references" these days because it creates this unrealistic expectation of what an artist is. Referencing is part of the process! It's important! And it's a valuable skill to have so that you can actually grow your skills beyond your own limits! Referencing is as important to the process of creating art as research is to the process of writing, you can only produce so much new stuff if you're not taking in new stuff alongside it.

Though I use this skill a lot in tattooing as well, it's mostly rooted in my animation schooling which broke me out of the habit of drawing purely from imagination and taught me how to properly reference other material for educational purposes.

And I'm sure there are people in audience right now gasping at the fact that I simply cropped a bunch of different shots of Minthe from S3 and rearranged them like some surgical madman playing with body parts-

-but this is like, the actual majority of the process when it comes to learning other art styles and this process is taught as a skill in a lot of art schools because it forces you to draw what's there rather than what you think is there. This is the basis of master studies, to learn the techniques of other artists by trying to mimic them as closely as possible. Don't know what tools that artist used specifically? Try to recreate the work anyways with your best guess. Even if you only get close but not perfect, you'll still likely learn a lot along the way and may even develop some brand NEW techniques that weren't present in the original work you're studying from.

Imagination is necessary to the creative process, but it's only part of that process, you can't suddenly learn how to draw the way other artists draw through imagination alone because your imagination is limited purely by your own lived experiences. Our brains don't come pre-installed with these skills, they can't just magically unlock the capability to "do the thing". Just like how we have to learn to follow recipes as a means to becoming a baker or learn to read the alphabet to learn how to read and write, we have to learn how to draw what we see and reference the material around us if we truly want to expand our own innermost knowledge which will allow us to draw from imagination.

Here are some other examples of studies I've done, such as my attempts to learn the art style of The Doctor Foxglove Show:

As well as a background study from S1 of LO:

And of course here are a handful of the shitloads of studies I've done to try and "figure out" how to draw Hades and Persephone from S1 of LO:

Aaaand just for the fun of it, here are some completely non-LO studies, like the ones I did of Kazuma Koda's background work and Akihiko Yoshida's character designs for Nier: Automata:

And this sorta rotoscoped ??? animatic of Mitsuhiro doing the opening jig for Still Feel by Half Alive which is 100% not done and probably never will be LOL

I'm always progressively doing studies of both LO and other media in this way so that I can update my knowledge and continue to improve my skillset.

Though, despite my best efforts to mimic the original creator's style, works like Rekindled will always have my own stylizations present, as that's just an inevitable consequence of it being made by myself and Banshriek (and the fact that we just refuse to draw worse to look more like LO because jfc so much of LO's original art, even the stuff we love, is rooted in Rachel's trial and errors lmao), but that's a feature, not a bug :') <3

So the answer is yes, the Minthe S3 redraw was done through skills I developed over time, though not necessarily through tattooing, simply through learning how to actually practice properly beyond "drawing a lot". And you can too! Draw lots, but also remember that your brain isn't naturally just going to "get better" at whatever you're trying to achieve just because you really want to achieve it. I try to avoid the mantra of "just practice" because it oversimplifies what's truly necessary to learning - having something to learn from outside of your own imagination. If you don't learn how to practice properly, then you'll just wind up repeating the same mistakes and reinforcing the same bad habits over and over again.

All that's to say, if you want to learn how to draw like a certain artist, try and recreate their art for yourself ;0 (but like also please for the love of god remember that it's for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES, I shouldn't have to tell y'all not to copy directly off other artists' work for your own because that's just deadass stealing lmao) I know this enters the ethical dilemma of tracing, and whether or not it's a "valid" way to learn, but there's a lot of virtue in learning through referencing other artists and building new skills through them. I'm sure folks will argue that it's a 'crutch' or 'training wheels', but that's all often being touted from the perspective that crutches and training wheels... are automatically bad things and aren't meant to help people ?

Like obviously if you want to create your own thing that isn't purely "living in the shadow" of the works that inspired you, you WILL have to make that leap into the unknown. But that leap's a lot less scary to make when you have a parachute.

[owlobservation]

Itoshi Sae Egoist Bible Profile (2022)

"I'll see for myself... what kind of forward this country can produce."

Itoshi Rin's older brother. He's selected as one of the New Generation World 11. The Genius Midfielder!

-Profile Data-

Birthdate: October, 10th.

Age: 18 (Third year high school)

Zodiac sign: Libra.

Birthplace: Kanagawa Prefecture (Kamakura City)

Family structure: Father, mother, himself, younger brother.

Height: 180 cm.

Foot size: 26.5 cm.

Blood type: A.

Previous team before he returned to Japan: Re Ale Youth FC.

Dominant foot: Left.

Favorite Soccer Player: Álvaro Recoba. "The left-footed player who creates rainbow on the pitch."*

Age started playing soccer: 1 years old. "Before I knew it, I was already playing soccer."

Nickname: Treasure of Japan.

Strengths: Being able to see things objectively. "I'm often told that I'm a dry person but who cares."

Weaknesses: I don't know anything except about soccer. "Don't live like this, you guys."

Favorite food: Salted kombucha. "Because I can return back to zero."**

Disliked food: French fries. "It's so delicious that I could die, but it's also so unhealthy that I could die."

Best rice accompaniment: Salted kelp. "They don't have it in Spain so I got it sent from my parents' home."

Hobby: Analyzing data of soccer players and teams. "It's nice to see things visualized as numbers."

Favorite season: The end of summer. "I feel like the whole world has become lonely."

Favorite show: Chibi Maruko-chan. "It reminds me of my parents' home."

Favorite music: Suisei by Tofubeats feat. Seira Kariya. "I listen it to cool down."

Favorite movie: Taxi Driver. "This De Niro guy is the coolest."

Favorite manga: Gegege no Kitaro

Character color: Azuki Red.

Favorite animal: Seagull. "I like migratory birds that don't stay in one place."

Favorite brands: All the brands that sponsor me. "They have good eyes for betting on me."

Best subjects: No idea because I didn't really pay attention in class and only focused on soccer. "I've never seen my report card."

Fetish: Butt. "You can tell an athlete's ability by the shape of their butt."

What makes you happy: A play beyond my imagination.

What makes you sad: Being forced to carry the weight of Japanese soccer on my shoulders. "Yes, I'm talking about you guys."

The first time someone confessed to you: I don't even remember which one was the first time, dumbass.

Last year's valentine day chocolates: Around 2.000. "My manager told me."

Sleep time: 8 hours. (7 hours+1 hour nap)

Where do you wash first in the bath?: Bangs' hairline.

Mushroom or Bamboo shoots?: Depending on the mood.

What made you cry recently?: Why would I tell you, idiot.

At what age did you stop receiving presents from Santa?: 10 years old.***

What did you ask for a Christmas present from Santa?: My undiscovered talent.

What would you do on your last day on earth?: Give the world's best striker the world's best pass.

What would you do if you receive 100 million yen?: I'm not interested. It's just a small change.

What do you do on your days off?: Gazing at the sea.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daily life at Blue Lock

"I haven't been there yet."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sae's Ranking

1. Ranked #3 The Best at Study****

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Initial Character Sketch by Kaneshiro

Genius Midfielder. Very Sadist (Do-S)

I can't read the rest of the notes... sorry....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

*Álvaro Recoba (El Chino) is a midfielder from Uruguay known for his "rainbow-like" curved kicks.

**Return back to zero=being refreshed.

***In early 2021 twitter Q&A, he said he stopped getting Christmas presents when Rin stopped believing in Santa. His answer is revised in Egoist Bible to just "10 years old."

****The title/ranking is "Who Can Study Well". Sae is the #3 person who is very good at studying (benkyou 勉強).

Check Sae's updated profile from the second volume of Egoist Bible for more!

[aquasarsstuff]

100 Followers Event: Villainess Au ft. Riddle Rosehearts x F!reader

Masterlist Kofi Account

A/N: If you saw my Lilia post about this Au, I'll also be making the character's pov as best as I can lol. Anyway, enjoy this riddle fic.

___

You do not remember who you were before, but you were sure you've read about this world in a different place and time. You look beside you to see Riddle, your fiancé. His eyes ever so diligent skims over the text in each page. He was too distracted that you started to openly stare at him.

"Is there something wrong?" His blue eyes met yours, and at the sight of the rarest color in nature snap you out of your trance. Beside his bed, there was a mirror standing on the right. It was facing you, and only then did you realize that you were frowning. 

You wave your hands in front of your face. The action making Riddle's eyes go wide as saucers. You immediately think of an excuse to say, "The potted plant on your left... is wilting! I do not like it when plants are not cared for. A rose should be bright red not brown."

"Oh... I'm sorry. I've been following the instructions in the book, but over the days it just kept deteriorating. I'll find a way to bring back its color," he says meekly.

Looking at the kid's face, you knew you have said the wrong thing. He looks like he was just about to cry. You shifted to the side. From what you remember from your robbed memories, he was terrifying after ascending of age. Meanwhile, you were an uptight lady, someone that has the same views as his mother that will eventually die early someday. You gasp out loud. This was no good. 

"Your highness are you alright?" he moves a little bit to examine you. You turn around, and suddenly both of your faces were in a close approximate. His cheeks brighten red. When he about to speak, you place a finger on his lips. 

"I am quite well. You know what?" You slide the books on the table and reach for the potted rose to place it on the middle. "While it is important that you know how to handle a plant, sometimes you just need love to nourish it." You pointed to the soil. It was damp, indicating that he hasn't been neglecting it. "Hm... well, look at this new bud that sprout out of its stem. See that you take care of it this one with love."

"Yes... your highness. I promise."

 "Riddle," immediately he became your focal point. "You should just call me by name when were alone. Wait... how about this? What do you think of using this as a promise tool?" 

"A promise... tool?"

You place the potted rose between you, "Riddle Rosehearts, I pledge that until this stem keeps producing beautiful roses, I will stay by your side!" 

"Uhm..." 

"You grab his hands, "I won't force you to make a promise right now. You can even keep it a secret. I know that you will fulfill it, nonetheless." 

____

"Riddle, take this," you gave him a white handkerchief. Each of its sides were embroidered with two roses— one was white, and one was red. "Think of it as a blessing from me."

Years have passed, and you were glad that you were able to retain a good relationship with him. You don't know how the plot will exactly play out, but you hope that from his trust will be the key for you to avoid the trial room, with him as the judge for your fate. 

 "Isn't this a custom meant for knights? I am not going to war—" 

"But you will still be away. You're going abroad to study, and it isn't like before that you'll just be gone for a few days. You'll be away in another country for years."

He did not say anything.

"I made it myself for you. We can exchange letters, but I promise that I'll always be by your side, so accept it!" you insisted, pushing it to his hands. 

"You did not even see the state of the rose for years."

"I know that you are still taking care of it. Otherwise, you would have already push me away."

He sighs, safely hiding your gift in his pocket, "I appreciate the gesture, but did you really have to give it here?" he raises one eyebrow at your unkempt appearance and muddy dress.

"It's either this or I won't be able to give it to you. I didn't find the right time to hand it out," you retorted. 

"The schedule of when I will depart has been given to you few months prior. There were plenty of right time." ​

"I might have procrastinated a little bit, heh," you smile awkwardly, raising the sides of your dress to walk to a cemented path avoiding his gaze. 

"What about this morning when you have given me your goodbyes?"

"I was embarrassed. There were so many people. and our family members were there too."

"Did it not occur to you that it more embarrassing to see the royal heir running about, competing with a horse? Even your garments are ruined," there was a small frown on his face. He reaches out to the carriage door and opened it. You thought he was going to leave you here, but he stayed behind the door, extending his hands to the entrance and you.

"Huh?" you look at him dumbfound. 

"Get in. I am not leaving until your disheveled appearance is fix."

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Malleus Draconia - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Malleus: So, this is the Land of Dawning National Museum of Art… It's much more impressive than I had imagined. Very fascinating to see their exhibits touch on varied matters of import.

Malleus: Art galleries in Briar Valley generally feature art exhibits revolving around fae lore. This is a refreshing visit.

Malleus: This place does seem to have a few works of art that I can place, however. And I see that paintings that depict the Thorn Fairy seem to still gather a crowd here.

???: Look at all them surrounding just one person in full force… That's just cowardly.

Malleus: No need to chide them, Spade. It's cruel enough to expect those children of man to hold their own against a great and powerful being.

Deuce: D… DRACONIA-SENPAI!? HELLO, SIR!

Malleus: Hmph, don't bristle so. We can take this prime opportunity to study this painting together.

Malleus: When the Thorn Fairy visited human lands, she was immediately met with animosity…

Malleus: The number of art pieces that depict this very story is numerous, even in Briar Valley. We even had one displayed in the castle I was raised in.

Malleus: When I was a wee lad… My tutors would constantly tell me to grow up to "be a mage as great and powerful as her."

Deuce: Your… tutors!? There were people that could actually teach you something!?

Malleus: Of course.  I had some of the finest mages in Briar Valley at my disposal.

Malleus: I often found my history and etiquette lessons to be of great interest… But there was no one who could instruct me in the ways of magic.

Malleus: Of course, that would be because everything from their magical power levels to their actual capabilities were far below me in strength.

Deuce: Wow, that's amazing… Can't believe you were that strong from a young age.

Malleus: That is nothing too surprising. My grandmother possessed formidable magic, and so did my mother, I hear.

Malleus: However, it took me quite some time to fully understand the difference in strength between myself and those around me.

Malleus: "Why are you teaching me something so ridiculously simple?" I'd angrily wail every class. "Are you underestimating me?"

Malleus: Every time I sent a tutor packing, my guardian wouldn't hesitate to scold me mercilessly.

Deuce: You're saying there was someone who could even scold you!? Briar Valley is way too intense…

Malleus: Even I would listen to the advice of a trusted person. When I think back on it, I certainly had my more immature moments.

Malleus: Only incidents such as burning the gardens to a desolate crisp, or destroying castle towers by calling down lightning strikes, however.

Deuce: THOSE ARE HUGE INCIDENTS!!

Deuce: Ack! If I make Draconia-senpai angry now, the museum might be in trouble…!?

Malleus: No worries, I am no longer a child. I would not do such a thing as destroy a museum filled with priceless artifacts on a mere whim.

Malleus: It would be more logical for me to punish the offending target than affect my surroundings in my ire, would it not?

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Deuce: That's a painting of the Lord of the Underworld being displayed there. And those two guys with him, they're…

Malleus: They must be his retainers. It is said that they would obediently carry out his commands and go to great lengths to do so for him.

Deuce: Yeah… I always imagined the Underworld to be dark and scary, but these two look pretty nice.

Malleus: It will come back to bite you if you make assumptions based on appearances, Spade. Apparently, these two were skilled shapeshifters.

Malleus: There are tales of how they would use this skill in order to back any villainous adversaries into a corner.

Malleus: If they did not possess that raw competence, I'm certain that they would not have been depicted in these works of art.

Deuce: I bet the Lord of the Underworld would be proud to hear that tales of his subordinates are still passed down for generations.

Malleus: To have the tales of his subordinates passed down for generations… Yes, I could sympathize with that.

Malleus: Within the royal family of Briar Valley, there is a tradition that at a certain age we may select our own attendants and guards.

Malleus: I would also be very proud indeed if someone I personally selected were to be acknowledged by the masses, as well as future generations to come.

Deuce: Right? But man, when you talk about attendants and guards… It just feels like we live in two completely different worlds.

Deuce: It's pretty amazing that you always have someone who's looking out for you and your daily needs, though.

Malleus: It also can be a headache. Back in the castle, I would be surrounded by other people day in and day out, simply there to fix my attire or my hair and the like.

Malleus: When my acceptance to Night Raven College was ascertained, my life was unburdened tremendously.

Malleus: My guardian stated to me, "You'll have to learn how to take care of yourself enough that you can survive on your own," and so…

Malleus: I would read books from the outside world that were provided to me, and found the wealth of knowledge fascinating.

Malleus: Those books granted me an abundance of knowledge, such as how to go shopping, or how to work laundry machines and other electrical appliances.

Deuce: He learned how to use electrical appliances from reading a book…!? He really was raised in a completely different environment.

Deuce: But honestly, I really can't believe that you go shopping on your own, or do your own laundry… Today is full of surprises.

Malleus: …Well, Sebek does insist on tending to my needs. And there is much I do leave to him.

Deuce: Ahaha… Yeah, Sebek has boasted about stuff in the past, saying something like, "I had the honor of hand-washing Malleus-sama's clothing!"

Malleus: …I can absolutely picture that, despite the fact that I had been perfectly fine doing my own laundry before he started to attend this academy.

Malleus: Although, for some time after I arrived here, there was no end to the number of difficulties I had due to my inexperience.

Malleus: For example, there was this one instance when I knew not the location of the laundry room… and chose to hand-wash my garments in the kitchen sink instead.

Deuce: EH!?

Malleus: …My fellow dormmates who encountered that spectacle in the kitchen had the same reaction as you just now.

Malleus: I inquired as to where the laundry room was, but all froze as if petrification had been cast upon them…

Malleus: When it seemed they finally had returned to their senses, they insisted on allowing them to do my laundry.

Malleus: In that moment, I had been swept up in their persistence, but… It does me no good to leave it for others to do.

Malleus: Sometimes I do clean my clothes with magic as I oft did back home, but I do try to use the laundry machine when I can as well.

Malleus: There aren't many who use the laundry room in the early morning or late night.

Malleus: After some trial and error, I was able to figure out how to properly use the washer, as well as the dryer.

Deuce: Even though you could totally clean everything with magic in the blink of an eye… It's so cool to see how you're always working to improve even when no one's watching!

Malleus: Of course, as it should be. Seeing that I am a student at this school, I must also learn what I can from my peers.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Malleus: Oho, I see this museum also carries a variable assortment of paintings depicting merfolk legends as well.

Deuce: She has a real big smile… But hey, look at that wave behind her! Was the ocean waters that choppy…?

Malleus: This depicts the moment the mermaid princess made the determination to go to the surface.

Malleus: That large wave behind her represents her courageous decision… Or at least, it most likely represents that.

Deuce: Woah, that sounds like it could be…! Draconia-senpai, do you know a lot about paintings?

Malleus: I briefly touched upon it as part of my education.

Malleus: I would not say I do not hold an appreciation for art. Rather than paintings, however, I do prefer three-dimensional objects… sculptures, especially.

Deuce: When you say sculptures, you mean the ones made out of stone or bronze… right? I'm sorry, I really don't know anything about those stuff.

Malleus: You are more or less on the correct path.

Malleus: Take the statues of the Great Seven at our academy, for instance. Sometimes they are regarded as simply part of the backdrop on campus…

Malleus: But as years pass, both stone and bronze statues will gradually change in appearance.

Malleus: Caretakers will come and go, and the outdoor elements will constantly batter them… Their similarities to the original mold would change over time to no small extent.

Malleus: Some may perceive this as mere "deterioration," but…

Malleus: As for me, I believe that changes in those statues are in fact a profound thing.

Malleus: Whenever I encounter one that looks entirely different than what it originally should have looked, I cannot help but feel as though it has lived a good, long life.

Deuce: So basically, they're living pieces of art…?

Malleus: Heh. A wonderful interpretation, Spade.

Deuce: I don't really get how that was good, but that was him praising me just now, right? Uh, thank you!

Malleus: If you find yourself interested in sculptures, you should seek me out once more.

Malleus: I can explain to you at length not only about stone sculptures and bronze sculptures, but also gargoyles as well.

Deuce: Gargoyles…?

Malleus: Ah, so you aren't familiar with them. No matter. I'll start with explaining what they are…

Deuce: Uhhhh… Wait, uh, I was actually thinking about asking Rosehearts-ryōchō about the paintings with the Card Soldiers!

Deuce: Please, I hope you can wait for another opportunity to explain it all to me! I'll be leaving now, Draconia-senpai!

Malleus: He shouldn't run in the museum like so… I fear it is only a matter of time before the sound of Rosehearts' ireful shouts fill the halls.

Malleus: Really now, humans sure are always in a hurry. I think I'll take my time taking in the exhibits in the museum.

Malleus: Oh, what do we have here…? This is a painting of the princess who was blessed by the diurnal faes.

Malleus: What a lively birthday celebration. I wonder if I would have been invited to attend, had I lived in those times…

Malleus: …Hmph, they would do well to carefully think about who to invite to their celebrations. For if I were not invited to such a gala…

Malleus: I may have brought down upon them a cloud of destruction, darkening the sky and cursing them to the ends of the earth…

Requested by Anonymous.

[nei-ning]

Gonna rant a bit. I saw one set of beautiful anthro arts on another website. Sadly they were done in AI. I did left a comment, complimenting how beautiful these arts were but how sad it made me that they were AI arts.

The artist themselves was kind and polite, telling they use AI because they want to learn and be able to make game arts one day (but they too, apparently, with AI so...)

But then there was another user, AI "artist" too who replied to me that there's absolutely NO ARTIST who can draw anthros with detailed fur, goat like arm, lights, colors etc without editing or photoshopping. On the whole planet, absolutely none! This person clearly don't believe in people's skills when it comes on arts. Heck, I followed one artist on DA who drew ALL her arts traditionally and she drew, and still does, SUPER DETAILED FURRY ANTHROS! No photoshop, editing, nothing digital. Just her hands, paper and a set of color pencils.

Also, if people's art skills wouldn't had been amazing back in the days through mankind, we wouldn't have cave paintings, old amazing paintings or sculptures, ALL DONE BY HANDS IN TRADITIONAL WAY. NO AI, NO PHOTOSHOP OR EDITING.

Humans can learn amazing skills if they only want to. AI artists, maybe not all, just wants to take the easiest way / be lazy (and get lots of likes - like that other person who straight forward said it. That he uses AI to create furry arts to get hundreds of likes).

They also mocked my style / arts, saying they are not good enough to be used in AI arts - yet.

Like what the actual fuck?! I am pissed! I don't even want my arts to be used in AI arts by some lazy idiot (or at all). At least I draw EVERYTHING in my arts, from first sketch line to the last shade / light. Surely my skills are not as good as they could be. After all I'm self-taught, not gone in art school like some have. Not to mention I draw for fun, I draw to bring joy to my watchers, I draw therapy arts to myself, I like to keep my style easy and simple. My arts are a hobby, not professional thing or to fish a lot of likes. If my arts can make someone's day a bit better, then I've done my job! I never haven't taken my arts or skills too seriously, trying to improve them to the top.

Is there times when I wish I would put more effort to my arts, learn and study more, becoming better? Absolutely! But do I bother? Not really. Like I said, this is a hobby. I know I would burnout myself if I would start to force and pressure myself to do better, to learn more, to improve my skills. I mean I struggle to draw even now!

I do have some saved tutorials on Pinterest what I would like to try, yes, but still not in a way like if I would have a fire under my ass.

[beemovieerotica]

hey can you tell me how you got tested for OCD and/or started to think you had it?

yeeeess so it was literally 2018 when i was like "hm maybe i have OCD" to my therapist (who was not specialized in this) and she did not disagree with me and everything kind of clicked in that session between us when we both simultaneously realized a lot of my behaviors could be explained that way.

the hardest thing was that i'd already been diagnosed with generalized anxiety so like. "yes i obsess over conversations i've had or will have and repeat things over and over in my head" "yes i constantly check to make sure things are okay" "yes i hyperanalyze and hypercriticize myself" all got wrapped up in that.

i think the behavior that i actually brought up with that therapist that precipitated the realization was i started vacuuming a corner of my room repeatedly like over the course of several weeks, every day. just obsessively vacuuming this corner because i kept finding tiny cat litter crystals there from a previous tenant. i'd be literally picking it out of the carpet with my fingers with my head parallel to the floor just staring and trying to find these things for like an hour at a time. colossal waste of time. but it was "important." and i was finally like...THIS is excessive, right?

but i do a lot of things that are the opposite of "classic" OCD which confused me for YEARS - like i genuinely have such poor food hygiene and don't care about bodily fluids, i love touching sticky things, my personal things are poorly organized, my room was always a mess, etc etc.

i got officially evaluated when i went in for the psilocybin study (beginning of this year) where i met an OCD specialist for the first time who did this complete battery of questions with me. there were things i never realized were OCD for me:

very obsessed with parasitic insects and constantly checking for bedbugs and fleas even when i have no reason to suspect these things

constantly re-reading everything i write. 5x. 10x. saying whole sentences over and over in my head. the sentence is fine, i didn't make a mistake, but i just have to keep reading it to be 1000% sure.

rubbing my scalp a lot and pulling out random hairs on my legs, eyebrows, eyelashes

over-explaining so fucking much to be absolutely sure i'm not misunderstood or that someone can read bad intentions into what i'm saying. "predicting" conversations and anticipating entire lines of questioning and how i would defend myself. lol.

intrusive horror film-esque thoughts

being terrified as a child that i would be possessed by a demon if i yawned too wide - i had other extremely irrational superstitions that i would force on myself and try to live by for no reason, these started at like age 10

obsessions around my health (orthorexia, i've ping-ponged between various diets like vegan / gluten-free / vegetarian thinking that it would help me)

only ever felt normal when drinking. like i could just let go of the compulsions and anxiety while drunk.

it was really hard to even parse a lot of this out being 1) already anxious, 2) raised very religious, and 3) BOTH my parents and my older sister have OCD, so all this was just normal!! my mom also pulled out her hair. my mom and my sister also had eating disorders and very weird attitudes around medicine. superstitions and moral scrupulosity were encouraged in our community. i had no reason to think that any of this could all be linked back to an actual disorder.

i really wish i'd had intervention at least a decade or more earlier. this started when i was in grade school at least. it sucks. so much of the public perception of OCD is centered on the classic symmetry / cleanliness / hand-washing shit. it did not help that my family loved watching Monk when i was growing up so i was like "oh, i'm not like THAT" and never questioned it.

i think(?) i might go to the big OCD conference happening in the states next year, not sure, but i really want to talk to people about psilocybin. idk let me know if you have any other questions, i'm still processing a lot of this.

[ch3apv0dkka]

John Price x Reader - Overwhelmed

All Masterlists | COD Masterlist | Rules For Requests Everything I Post On Tumblr Is Also Posted On Wattpad: @/Ch3apV0dkka

Plot: After a long stressful mission, you felt overwhelmed and struggled with your emotions, which you usually kept bottled up. Price realizing something was off, tries to comfort you.

Price led the team back to the base after a particularly intense mission. The weight of the recent events hung heavy on his shoulders, as it did on everyone else as well. As he turned a corner, he caught sight of you sitting on the floor with your back pressed to the wall. You had a distant look in your eyes, and he could tell that something was off.

As he walked over to you, he noticed the signs of exhaustion etched on your face, your breathing shallow, and your body tense. It was clear the mission's stress had taken its toll on you more than the others.

"Hey," he said softly, leaning against the wall beside you. "You holding up alright?"

You tried to put on a brave facade, forcing a faint smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired ya' know?"

Price studied your face, seeing right through you. "You sure about that?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

You huffed a small laugh, but it was clear you were overwhelmed and trying to hide it. "Yes Captain, I'm fine," you repeated avoiding his gaze.

Price leaned a bit closer to you, looking into your eyes. "You know you can talk to me, right? You don't have to hide how you're feeling, I know that mission was a lot for you to take in, it was a lot for everyone" he said softly.

You looked back up at him with a hint of vulnerability in your expression. Part of you wanted to unload all your worries to him, but the other part of you feared being seen as weak in your captain's eyes. Price saw how conflicted you looked and understood why you were hesitant to share your emotions. He knew that pushing too hard would make you distance yourself even more.

"Why don't we get out of here for a bit?" he suggested. "Just a change of scenery and some fresh air might do us both some good."

"Alright," you finally agreed, nodding slightly. "But only if it's somewhere private. I don't feel like dealing with the rest of the team right now."

Price understood why you might want a break from the rest of the team. Task Force 141 was a tight-knit group and you loved your teammates as a family, but sometimes you just needed to escape the constant chatter and banter that came with living in close quarters.

He nodded. "Understood. I know just the place." He pushed off the wall and started walking, the sound of his footsteps echoing slightly in the empty hallway as he led you outside. It was the perfect night to sit outside and talk. He lit a cigar before speaking to you.

"You know," he began after a few moments of silence as he took a drag of his cigar, "we've been through a lot together." He exhaled the smoke from his cigar. "I consider you one of the strongest soldiers on the task force. But even the strongest of soldiers need to let their guard down after a long mission. The mission is over, you can relax tonight until the next one."

You listened to his words, feeling some of the tension leave your body. Price always had this way of knowing exactly what to say to comfort you. "I know," you said quietly. "I need to work on allowing myself to do that.

He chuckled softly. "Yeah, you definitely do," he teased, nudging you slightly with his elbow. "I've seen you working your ass off all day, every day. I swear, you're more dedicated than the rest of us combined."

You smiled faintly in response, feeling a warmth in your chest at his words. It was rare for Price to give direct compliments, he usually only gave them to the team as a whole. "I just don't want to disappoint you, Captain," you mumbled, shifting your feet awkwardly. "Besides, this is the only thing I have going for me. It's not like I have anything to go home to after deployment. So I might as well give it my all."

Price took another drag from his cigar, giving you a saddened look. He knew you didn't talk about your life outside of the military often, so he was glad to see you finally open up. "You won't disappoint me," he said firmly. "You never have and most likely never will. And as for not having anything to go home to, I don't believe that for a second."

You shrugged looking down at your hands. "I dunno'...it's just me and that's it," you muttered. "No family, no partner, no one who relies on me. I guess that's part of the reason I joined, I just like to feel like I'm doing something beneficial to at least someone.

Price was silent for a moment as he studied you, trying to figure out what to say next. "You may not have a traditional family," he said finally. "But you're not alone. Not with the people you've met here. This team is your family, even outside of work. Like it or not.

You smiled at that, knowing he was right. Task Force 141 was more than just a group of soldiers to you, they were like family to you. They looked out for each other and relied on each other. "Yeah, I guess you're right," you admitted. "Being part of this team is what's kept me going all these years."

He nodded, a hint of satisfaction in his eyes. "See, I'm always right," he said, a smirk playing on his lips. He wrapped an arm around you "Without you, we'd all fall apart. I think you could even be a better captain than me one day."

You laughed softly at his remark, leaning into his side as his arm wrapped around you. His body warmth was comforting. "Not a chance in hell," you replied, shaking your head. "You lead us well. I trust your decisions over myself and the others."

A moment of silence went by before you spoke up. You looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "Hey, Captain Price?" you mumbled, your voice soft.

He hummed in acknowledgment, tilting his head down towards you. "Yes."

"Thank you," you said simply, wrapping your arms around his body and pressing your head against his chest. "For everything, really. You've done so much for me."

He put out his cigar before he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. The scent of cigar smoke still lingered. He gently pressed a kiss onto the top of your head. "You don't gotta thank me," he murmured. "Just doing my job as Captain."

You felt the kiss on your head, a sweet but unexpected gesture. You leaned back, looking up at him with a hint of confusion. "What was that for?" you asked, a slight smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Just felt right, in the moment."

Your gaze softened as you reached up to gently cup his face, your thumb brushing his cheek. Without thinking twice you leaned in, giving him a gentle and sweet kiss on the lips. Price didn't hesitate to kiss you back, his arms tightened around you, holding you close as he deepened the kiss. His lips moved against yours. It was as if he was waiting for this moment his whole life. You broke the kiss, both of you catching your breath.

"I...didn't expect that to happen," he said, his voice low.

You smiled, leaning your head against his chest again. You could feel his heart beating rapidly against your ear, he was just as affected by the kiss as you were. "Me neither," you murmured, closing your eyes. "But I'm not complaining."

Price laughed as he played with your hair. "Yeah, neither am I," he agreed, tilting your face up so he could look down at you. "Been wanting to do that for a while, actually."

You were surprised by his confession. "You have?" you asked. "I never would have guessed that."

He nodded. "I just didn't think I had a chance. Figured you just saw me as your captain, nothing more."

You shook your head, unable to keep a small smile from forming on your lips. "You're more than that, Captain Price," you told him. "You're my friend, my confidant, and now I guess you're also my..." You trailed off, not sure how to label this sudden development between you two.

Price laughed again, the sound warm and inviting. "Your what? Finish that sentence, soldier," he teased, but there was also a hint of curiosity in his voice.

You took a deep breath, gathering the courage to speak the words. "My lover, I guess. Only if you're okay with that label of course," you finally said, your voice quiet.

Hearing you say it out loud sent a thrill through him. "Lover, huh?" he repeated, a smirk playing on his lips. "I like the sound of that."

You blushed softly at his acceptance, but also felt a sense of relief. "I do too," you murmured, unable to hide how flustered you were. "So... what now? Where do we go from here?"

"We let things happen naturally," he said, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead. "There's no need to rush into anything. But one thing's for sure," he paused, "You're all mine now, sweetheart," he teased.

"All yours, huh?" you teased back, looking up at him through your eyelashes. "I could get used to that."

He chuckled at your response. "You better, 'cause I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon," he responded, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek. He leaned down, kissing you. "I love you, (Y/n)," he mumbled against your lips. "More than you'd ever be able to imagine. You look so beautiful right now, but you probably already know that."

You didn't know how to respond at first, as the words he said sank in. You hadn't expected him to say he loved you first. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close and burying your face into him, tears forming in your eyes. "I love you too, John," you whispered back.

[tlbodine]

Characters care about external stakes. READERS care about internal stakes.

OK. Here's a distinction I've recently started to think about and really notice after reading and watching some things that handle this poorly.

Fiction needs stakes, right? We all agree on that?

Characters have to be doing something, and they need some reason to do things, and there has to be some kind of reward for succeeding or consequence if they fail, yeah?

Cool. So here's the thing about stakes. They can be internal or external.

External stakes are things like: "if we don't do this, the sun will explode" or "if we do this, we'll win the game."

Often, to make things more interesting, external stakes have a ticking clock attached to them. You have to complete your quest before the next full moon or else the spell won't work for another hundred years. You have to score the winning point before the buzzer goes off in five seconds. That tension is important to shuffling the story forward.

But here's the thing.

The reader doesn't give a fuck about the external stakes and the ticking clock. We know perfectly well they're not going to miss the window for the spell or fuck up the finals game. We understand how stories work and how genre conventions work and you're not impressing anyone with your ticking clock.

What readers do actually care about is a character's internal stakes.

Internal stakes are things like "if I can save the world, I can finally absolve myself of guilt for letting my mom die." Or "if I win this game, my crush will finally notice me."

They are personal motivations. They are the reason why your character cares about what they're doing. They are why we care and how we get invested in their story.

Because like. We're humans. At the end of the day, we care about human things and we have human emotions and we relate to people -- even fake people made of scribbles on paper -- who care about stuff the way we care about stuff.

Raising the stakes doesn't mean "make the sun explode if they fail." Raising the stakes means "we care about this person and want to see them succeed."

So why bother with the external conflict and the ticking time clock? If what we actually care about in a story is the person, why can't we just read a couple hundred pages of the character going through therapy and working through their trauma?

Because what that ticking time clock does is it forces a character to act before they're ready. It prevents them from procrastinating. And it makes them do stuff they're not prepared for. And it's thrilling to see them interact with stuff that way, because it forces them out of their comfort zone and into an area where they can grow and challenge their status quo...which is the thing that pushes on those internal conflict bruises.

Imagine that our heroes have as much time as they need to fulfill the prophecy. They can take their time training, studying, making failsafes and backup plans and then go and the plan goes off without a hitch and they save the day without breaking a sweat. That's boring! That's just people going to work. That doesn't force them to confront their inner demons at all! That doesn't rip them from their existing environment and leave them struggling to adapt to new circumstances!

So those external stakes are necessary to keep the plot rolling forward and put pressure on the characters. But ALL OF THAT is only important if that pressure reveals interesting things about those characters, and forces them to engage with the stuff deep inside that they're probably hiding from. Because that's the part that's juicy and interesting for the reader.

Capiche?