#the math might not be mathing bear with me haha

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

ok so i'm drinking and thinking

i'm gonna do 5 origin runs where i romance astarion, and... 9 runs as astarion where I romance everyone else to see their romances (+ maybe one either as him or tav romancing no one)?? plus i already did a regular tav romancing him, am in the middle of a redeem durge romancing him, and plan to do an evil durge romancing him... so I'll have played this game 12 times by the time i'm done with it??

Larian wtf have you done to me

[loveabledirtbag]

2.01 - beef

HERE WE GO SEASON TWO WOW OKAY!

right off the bat: that opening. such a tonal shift from season one. it’s dark, shadowy, calm, quiet. it’s the exact opposite of the opening of season one. truly telling us, the audience, that this is a different show now. PLUS it starts with marcus, not carmy. or even syd. it’s perfect. we’re being told “this is an ensemble and you’re gonna learn a lot about all the characters this season”.

plus the fact that marcus is so sweet to his mom. ugh, it breaks my heart. i just want all good things for marcus.

scraping the ice on his windshield physically hurts me to watch. i’m parking in the first garage of my adult life, and don’t have to deal with street parking and frost scraping anymore and it’s WILD.

the quiet intro of the bruce hornsby is so beautifully done. “the show must go on”. but it’s also the kind of dad rock that dominates so much of this season.

watching the beef sign get taken down is wild. truly wild. like, you kinda knew it was gonna happen, but then YOU SEE IT happen. you can see it on carmy’s face: the trauma, the guilt, the weight, the significance. and it’s being taken down so he can have a chance to make something new.

and there’s just something about the first lines in the beef/bear as everyone talks budget. carmy is different. the crew is different. there’s a familiarity that seems more mature and authentic than in the last season.

plus seeing that carmy is a chef and only a chef for a reason is really fun. because i get it. math is hard. fuck math. watching him struggle with math is very affirming.

i love that in the basement we see a canning machine, with a label on it that says KBL, showing us the audience how mikey put the money in the tomato cans last season. BUT it also leaves me to question….carmy spent almost every waking moment at the beef last season, obsessively cleaning and trying to keep it afloat. he also wondered about why mikey was making payments to KBL electric and what it all meant…he didn’t go down to the basement at all? not once? see a canner that said KBL on it? think to himself “hmmm, that’s odd. maybe i should check these cans of tomato’s we have?” idk. i get that we have to tie up the relative plot hole of “how did mikey stick money in cans of tomato’s”. but it opens another can (haha 🙄) of worms of how didn’t carmy see this. i find it hard to believe he didn’t spend any time in the basement, since he was obsessed with the restaurant. and not noticing a giant machine that puts lids on cans would be hard.

i love that season one truly broke down richie, and right away into season two we get a richie who clearly wants more out of life. he realizes he’s been wrong and hurting and he’s trying to get back on track. plus, more characterization of the fact that richie reads a lot and reads good books, as he brings up the story. but right away you see richie’s arch this season: purpose, growth.

not to mention, i love the emotional intimacy between the two. that richie sort of bears his soul to carmy about his fears of being left behind, and of not finding his purpose. carmy saying he loves richie, and then when he realizes that richie is hurting telling him that he has time for richie. something fundamental happened last season and these two really found a level i don’t think they ever had before. richie is older than carmy, he’s mikey’s friend. he might have been invited to family gatherings and events, but most likely acted towards carmy like an older “cousin” would to a younger one. just kinda talking down and ignoring and not respecting them fully as they grow up. we saw this with the fact that multiple times throughout season one richie calls carmy a “baby”. and not because carmy was whining or crying, but because carmy was just so young. but after everything from last season, the toxic masculinity that surrounded these two (especially richie) is giving way to an emotional connection that is really sweet.

i love the admittance of richie’s age. there’s an unspoken rule in tv that you don’t give peoples ages too willingly, because if a character “ages out” of the marketable bracket the “audience will lose interest”. which is bullshit, but execs will always push to keep a characters age in a liminal paradoxical sub space somewhere between 25-35. so they’re not too young that they can’t be respected as adults, but not too old that you don’t care about them because they’re “boring and not cool”. it’s why on the show friends monica and rachel start in season one as 25/26 years old, and then turn 30 in season seven. they fucked with the timeline just to make sure that the friends remained young and cool enough to watch. so for richie to be 45, is both intentionally pushing him out of the “cool” age bracket to execs behind the scenes, which is what richie is worried about in the scene. he’s old and worried he can’t find his purpose.

but how richie’s problem and his season long arch perfectly sets up carmy’s problem and his season long arch is amazing: fun. enjoyment. you have your job and then you have what you do for yourself that isn’t monetized, isn’t going back to being “work stuff” but is just for you. and richie assuming carmy has fun with cooking and restaurant stuff because it’s ALL he does, and carmy admitting it’s not “fun” for him. ugh. it’s beautiful.

also, in the old photos that richie is looking at. i never noticed until this watch through that there’s one of gillian jacob’s as tiff, richie’s wife. i just assumed she was introduced in the flashback episode. but they had a little tease right at the beginning of the season. which is more than they needed to do. which is why i love this show.

also, THE ORIGINAL BERF shirt! i love it. didn’t want that to go without saying anything. “printing mistake. collectors item.”

the admittance that chester is gonna watch marcus’s mom while he’s at work….THATS A GOOD ROOMMATE. like….romantic partner level good. again, i’m starting this season off by coming back on my bullshit that marcus has a romantic energy with just about everyone, and that includes chester. i am a marcus x chester fan.

that we saw fak talking to ballbreaker in the last episode of season one (and ballbreaker talking back…) and now he’s bringing it home. it’s concerning…

the quick scenes of ebra looking unsure of everything…

“i thought i wanted some and then i wanted throw up.” oh. so nat’s pregnant. like. the moment she said that i was like “ah. nat’s pregnant.” i love that abby elliot was actually pregnant while filming season two. i’m sure that they wrote her pregnancy into the show. which i love instead of trying to hide it.

the long talk of how absolutely stupidly annoyingly COMPLICATED AND TIME CONSUMING AND CONVOLUTED it is to get a restaurant started is so on point. it hits hard. just reps after reps after reps.

and the fact that that conversation is capped by syd saying “we just gotta stay calm” and then falling right through a wall….art. artistry. poetry. amazing.

i love richie doing a breathing exercise so that he can properly explain his anger without it just being a meaningless explosion of anger. he’s angry because syd fell through a wall and ripped the fenway poster. and the red sox were mikey’s favorite baseball team. this is about mikey, and honoring his memory, not just a random outburst. and he can explain that because he took the time to breathe, and to properly communicate that, which made everyone understand and empathize for him. instead of react to his anger. emotional and mental maturity, folks! it’s great.

also richie’s explanation that the wall is plaster because mikey wanted to burn the place down for insurance money…..uffda. again, it’s hard to marry everything we know of mikey together: he was so charming, personable, charismatic in the scene we saw of him in season one. but he was selling and using coke, he wanted to burn down the restaurant…and we see so much darker stuff from him later this season. it’s just a little hard to believe that the happy mikey is the same as the dark and depressed mikey. but obvious addiction can have a major influence on people’s attitudes.

the fact that the alarm goes off and carmy’s first thought is “….is that in my head?” really tells you a lot about carmy’s head.

the fact that when carmy tells cicero that mikey was telling the truth about franchising the restaurant, but cicero’s first thought was “the petting zoo? mini golf?” really paints a grim picture of mikey’s brain and relationship with cicero.

“how does that [alarm] not drive you nuts?” “i don’t mind it”. once again showing that carmy has this thing in him that kind of enjoys pain. he “dug throwing up before shift everyday”, and other stuff in season one.

the hinting of getting a star, which crops up a few times this season, tells me that season three is almost undoubtedly going to be about getting a star. even though i’m with carmy; fuck stars. you have to pay to get them, and the first one is the only one about food.

“can i tell you a story about complete and utter failure…?” - cicero trying to tell this story for the first time this season, which is interrupted by carmy saying that if they don’t pay back the loan cicero gives them in 18 months the building and lot and business is completely cicero’s

carmy giving that proposition is an interesting plot point. because it could be a major thing in season three, or they could blow past it and not even mention it. BUT even if they don’t make the loan payment and ownership goes to cicero, he could choose to keep the restaurant going and have everyone keep working for him (which would make more sense to keep his character in the show, in a behind the scenes kind of way). so, we’ll see what happens.

i think almost every single scene with tina this whole season makes me wanna cry. syd asking tina to be her sous, and tina thinking that syd is asking tina to ask around for a sous is just so good. and then her big hug as tina realizing syd wants her to be the sous. UGH. tina is just so good!

OK. SO. the scene where everyone’s going home, and it’s just syd and carm and they’re talking about how weird it feels to go home so early, but there’s only so much you can do without permits. 1) it’s SO relatable. anytime you’re expecting to be in the weeds and have that sweaty, fast paced, rush feeling and instead you get nothing it just feels….wrong. like empty. even though it means you’re not stressed for a night. 2) there’s just a vibe of carmy and syd being a little romantical. there’s a little second beat as they look at each other where i was like “ohhhhh!” and then nothing happens. but it’s there, right? just a bit?

the unsettling quiet as carmy sits at his apartment just at a loss for what to do and how to be still. and then staring at his chef jacket and the song. the CLASSIC song from season one. that new noise. it plays and you just go “yeah….we’re back.”

i love the camaraderie as carmy comes back to the bear and syd and nat are already there. and then the montage as they set up a schedule and print inspo and we see the hours tick by. it scratched an itch that i miss. i miss the feeling of starting a place and just the overwhelming amount of work involved in it. how the hours tick by.

and that’s the episode. ugh. it’s so good! the vibe, the pacing. everything it sets up. so so so good. i love it.

SEASON ONE: one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight

SEASON TWO: one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

[littlesistersti]

Rant or Trauma Dump: Overblot Leona is Relatable as a Student in American Public School

Will keep this short as possible

Abstract: Leona's trauma = shared trauma but (American) 12th grader student edition. I share my experience. Am I allowed to say it's my trauma when it's just resentment?

Work count: 585

Leona expressed strong resentment at the idea of birth > skill so why r bother trying? Nobody cares. I understood it from a story writing standpoint at first then this came to me and I felt things.

Not sure how common this is around the globe but I went to an American public school for high school/secondary school education (why do I sound like a foreign exchange student haha) and every week of/before homecoming or winter break or some major event, there’s spirit week in which each grade level compete with themed outfits, lunch time activity\games, and assembly games. Win enough points to beat the other grade.

Off topic but my school’s Assembled Student Body have zero creativity for lip sync and themes because why do they keep doing Marvel and Disney? I might as well think we’re sponsored by Disney because we could’ve had HTTYD or Wonder Woman for crying out loud. Also there was a spirit day for “hype beast” in which you wear the high end stuff like Supreme. Well, I was bullied in elementary school for being NOT high income so I held resentment for those things.

Freshman year (9th grade), I did my best but we came in last place. Seniors won. Sophomore year, I felt bad for the freshmen who tried harder than us last year and they lost. Their side was decked out in white, it looked like Big Bear. Seniors won. Junior year, I figured it out it was pointless. Seniors won. Then came our turn. I noticed it. My fellow seniors would not bother trying because they knew they’d win anyway or would cheat the system like raising their hands for points even though they’re not wearing anything spirit (sometimes they be counting shoes). I hated it. I hated it more when the senior favoritism happens before your eyes.

Every winter assembly, there should be a sled race where one player is in a cardboard box and another pulls. Seniors never pull because their box has a giant hole so they can stand up and run to the finish line like a Grinch. I never saw that my senior year. Every assembly ever, there’s supposed to be a clapping game similar to Simon Says. The freshman are always duped on the first “clap” and the seniors don’t even play the game, it’s an applause! A standing ovation even! Even the seniors get to win the lip sync battle every time. Makes me wonder if they could stand in the corner then still win first place. In elective and math (above Algebra 1) classes, you would find mixed grade levels so not sure how much the point-counters scrutinize. They are not nit picky with seniors. If you raise your hand, we don’t check. Below seniors? They check. Yet, I think the cronyism is the main problem.

Seniors don’t need any skill set. They just need to be that class and bam, easy win. Any other class could try as they might and never win. I hated it more when people say, “let them win, they’re graduating.” Might as well give them all passing grades, senior year is the easiest anyways. No worries about senioritis. All the teachers love you because you’re mature baby-adults and about to leave. Hate the freshmen because they’re the hooligans. Let’s bully the freshmen.

Conclusion: Leona is relatable in the birth order > skill set resentment and not trying hard if nobody cares, because of the high school seniors favouritism I witnessed during spirit week.

[iamthecomet]

-offers you the extra stress relieving lotion on my hands because I used too much and now I don't know whether to put it on my knees or just wipe it off, but it's the good shit, so I won't-

I come bearing more SwissDew thoughts.

At some point, even though they had no real intentions of actually doing it, they agreed to partake in No Nut November.

It was before the idea of them being together was even a thing, so it was very much a, "Haha, bro, what if we did this" silly bet where they weren't allowed to fuck any of the other ghouls/siblings of sin, and they couldn't jack off either.

Again, neither of them were going to actually, ya know, follow through with it, but somehow the others found out about their bet and spread the news and, well, shit happens.

Anyway, Dew refuses to lose to Swiss, and Swiss refuses to lose to Dew, but they know the other could easily jack off in secret and not tell the other, so the only solution is to hang out 24/7, because they're in too deep.

It only gets worse from there.

At some point, they both want this to end.

They're both done.

But they also don't want to lose.

And then Swiss has a brilliant idea.

"I jack you off, you jack me off, and whoever cums first loses."

...They both cum at the same time and because a tie doesn't count as a win or a loss-

-they decided to fuck about it.

No one is sure who won that day.

-the screen smells like lavender now-

Mmmmm lavender, my favorite. It's so like Swiss and Dew to both make a bet they plan on giving up on--only to double down when they realize there might actually be stakes (bragging rights/not losing). I feel like they'd do some ghoul math and decide if they cum at the same time it just--doesn't count. The loads cancel each other out, you know? So now they're doing it all the time. Trying to time their orgasms so they cancel each other out and they won't lose (but they're also secretly trying to outlast each other because it's still a competition.) Basically it's a huge mess and no one sees much of them for the rest of November (but everyone definitely hears them).

[no-gorms]

I was re-reading your fic Womb Kindred* and:

Still love it, so bitter sweet and

Does Dean’s “broken curse” mean that Claire might have a baby brother Jack oneday? A new beginning and a way to alleviate Cas' impending empty nest syndrome…

Lastly, if you were to do a Stony AU/remix of this story, would it be similar or would you have Tony and Steve take different paths? I see some of your post CW Steve in WK Dean (and wanna smack him like Claire does but also he’s just so SORRY. I hope he treats Cas so very well in the coming years) but would it be Tony bearing the child? Would they still be peers or would Tony be older? Sorry to Inception your works but it called to me haha

Love your work! Hope you are doing well

*https://archiveofourown.org/works/5540132/chapters/12780203

Sorry to piggyback off the last Womb Kindred ask! But I forgot to ask if it would be Peter or Morgan Steve finds with Tony (if it is Tony that bears children) in a tucked away cabin a la Endgame? Or maybe Tony has born a child and in the meantime has collected his usual gaggle of children, old enough that Steve is like “ok the math isn’t checking out for the older ones but for the younger one…”

----

Hello, thank you! That was a fun verse to play around in, I' know it doesn't end neatly, but I'm very fond of it. Dean's "curse" definitely eases up afterward, and I wasn't thinking of any future children for those two, but yeah I can see it happening! Like both of them would jump at another second chance (which gives Claire weird feelings, but she'll rise above it) and be another excuse (if they needed more) to quietly get married. Mary doesn't need to know, SHHHHH

MAN, thinking about a Steve/Tony... I think you can tell I'm all about older omega Tony👀, so it'd have to be him who has the secret child, and I love the whole Civil War divorce arc with sad Steve and angry Tony, but once there's a child involved as extra collateral damage it just makes me wiggly sad in a way that it doesn't for Dean/Cas?

Unless it was something like, Steve leaves for war and news comes back to Tony that he's died on the battlefield, and Tony decides that in order to protect the child from both his enemies and Steve's (since Tony cut family ties for Steve's sake, yet no longer has Steve to protect him) he has to go off and have his child in secret, except oh no, Steve is alive! And now he can't find Tony because Tony is very clever and very thorough.

Anyway there can still be a gaggle of children, and it's funny/tragic because at first Steve sees one and is shocked, until he sees there's a lot of them and relaxes with relief like oh, Tony's just found himself young companions to care for and be cared by, until...

[rainbowskittle]

Brown hair, white hair, blonde hair, red hair and black .. and any dyed I’d fall for you. As you can see I don’t have a type..

Be funny but serious when you need to be

Have tattoos (but not the rude racist / etc ones.)

Age 20-30 (idk might change cuz this year I’m literally gonna be in the middle lol but I think I’ll keep that age range until I turn 30 😆.)

I’m 5’0 in height and don’t care if you shorter or taller then me

Want to travel the world not just stay in one place .. like see the world close and far

Share new music with me . I listen to everything and anything. Literally put my music in a blender and pour it out you’ll get some random stuff in your cup.

Let’s try all different foods from local foods during our travels, experiment with different ideas of what to try and just eat our favorite foods cuz why not .

Binge tv all day as we watch them do trivia’s during commercials or lay under the same blanket and share snacks during the shows.

And yet next day hike all day in the mountains seeing the sunset to star gazing . Enjoying the journey too not just the destination.

Has to be lgbtq+ cuz I as a sapphic nonbinary hellooo. Sorry no straight white guys or just no straight guys in general haha sorry but not sorry you won’t ‘turn me’ ‘I don’t want to be part of your third either’ .. I love unicorns but not for that .. you do you but not my cup of tea.

Understand I’m quiet a lot rather that’s with new people or in general if I know them I’ll still be quiet ..

So on top of that sometimes I forget to respond but right away but I hate the notifications number thing so I clear them right away but will get back to you

Get along with my family .. okay don’t have to like everyone but tbh I love my family (and chosen family so they count too. ) so we package deal if you don’t get along with a 99.99% chance we won’t work (and I can’t math so shh I’ll act like that is right math

I don’t drive so I’ll give you snacks, help dj, and put on google maps or we both will be lost .. so in other words according to google I’m a passenger princess but that’s only time you will see me princess . I’ve always loved the Disney villains .. marvel villains more lol but I promise I’m not evil like them!

Love animals but I’m not fan of snakes and spiders but I do still do the killing off spiders and open jars for my family .. but snakes nope I’m running like a bear is behind me

Also this emoji < 🫀> when I find you will be your post. All the gushy - cliche - yearning post. So next step is just where are youuu? 🥺 .. Also might use that one haha I already use it a lot. So fyi .

And I guess that’s all I can think of for ‘my type’ ‘dream person’ and pfft no I don’t have a Pinterest board of more celebrities.. and No definitely not a wedding board even I know 50/50 I won’t be getting married anytime soon and definitely don’t have a love playlist even if I’m the most singlets person I know #24yearsaroundthesunand24yearssingle

Okay I’m off to bed night 🥱 if you read this far here < 🍪 > hahah you get cookie for my ramble post. Once again tumblr thanks for letting me rant and share my fandoms and find music and read fanfics .. you definitely up there on social media sites.

[megs-msdd24]

Random spirit animals headcanons

Note: these are my most random thoughts on the four fallen

Abeke

• she thinks crossbows are cheating and that's final

• it's ok though, she still beats the crossbow with a regular one

• loves reading A LOT

• she'll randomly disappear and the other 3 are like?!? Then they find her in the library and their like o -_-

• probably scares nearly everyone, not like she means to, but Abeke's so used to walking silently (rollan has to watch every time so he doesn't squeak like a mouse again)

• normally wakes up early, only exception is if she's dead tired or sick

• has a bit of a sweet tooth

• Uraza and Abeke go on midnight walks whenever Abeke can't sleep or just doesn't want to

Conor

• this boy can eat- (I mean, in The Dragon's Eye he downed that nasty sludge, then just goes what? i'm hungry.)

• definitely wakes up early all the time(it's literally built into his system to WAKE UP)

• In Blood Ties, he apologized a-lot and I feel like that sticks with him through life. like, he doesn't say it so many times, but it's still there??

• most definitely visits his family a lot, if he can't, he writes them letters

• EVERYONE must agree, that Abeke taught him to read and write

• probs the best at math even tho he might not like it (HE CAN COUNT BETTER THAN DEVIN HAHA)

• he and Briggan will go out for walks randomly you know? Like, there's nothing to do so why not walk?

Meilin

  • zero tolerance for Rollan's pranks, just immediately starts screeching and chasing after him.  

• She and Abeke spend one day a month just doing anything they choose

• likes the colour pink, not like hot pink, more like this: https://wallpaperaccess.com/full/1440937.jpg

• always finds someone to spar with her, (more like drags-)

• she wakes up early and wakes up late it depends

• definitely has OCD even if just a little

• can (and will) find any reason to yell at Rollan

• anyone who offends the other 3 in a rude way becomes public enemy #1

• this had to happen at some point but I think Meilin has used Jhi as a teddy bear at least once

Rollan

 • We already know he's is pulling pranks on the other 3 and the greencloaks  

  • He probably drags Conor into his pranks  

  • If they get in trouble Conor ends up apologizing or bailing them out while Rollan runs away  

  • he definitely sleeps in until some seriously late hour (UNLESS THERE'S STEW INVOLVED, HE WILL LITERALLY FLY)

   • Conor, Abeke, and Meilin probs take turns attempting to wake him up. (Attempt I say-)

  • Whenever there's a group of greencloaks or a ship heading to Amaya, he probably sends a letter or something for his mom or if he can go, he'll go himself

   • cannot cook to save his life

• I BET IF HE HAD NOTHING TO EAT EXCEPT WALRUS HE WOULD PASS AND STARVE- 🤣

  Mk that's the end , I'll come up with some more later  

send me some of yours :)

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Any movie recommendations? I need to find more stuff to watch haha

Thanks for the input. (Note that this list is incomplete – more movies I haven't watched yet are in the pending and currently unwatched sections of my "Watching" tag)

Favorite films

These are in order from favorite to least favorite. I would probably watch them again if given a chance, but there's a lot that I find unappealing even now. (The first one is only the second-favorite because it was my introduction to the Sixties, and a very interesting entry point.)

1. The Manchurian Candidate (1962)

2. The Day of the Dolphin (2003)

3. A Man Escaped (1956)

4. The Ninth Configuration (1980)

5. Rear Window (1954)

6. The Searchers (1956)

7. The Day of the Rope (1964)

8. The Birds (1963)

Favorite TV shows

1. Twin Peaks (David Lynch, 1990–91)

2. The Outer Limits (X-Files, 1994–2002)

3. The Invaders (David E. O'Neill, 1965–66)

4. Twin Peaks – Fire Walk With Me (David Lynch, 1992)

5. The X-Files (1994–2002)

6. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1994)

7. Twin Peaks – the Return (David Lynch, 2017)

Other

An Imaginary Life – the documentary about a surreal near-death experience (2010)

A Serious Man – film about a weird, paranoid math professor (2009)

The Bad News Bears – film about (sort of) a weird, paranoid math professor (1976–79)

The Big Lebowski – film about (sort of) a weird, paranoid math professor (1998–2010)

Boogie Nights – film about (sort of) a sex movie producer (1997)

Dark Night of the Soul – horror short (1973)

Eraserhead – experimental film (1977)

Hausu – Japanese erotic comic (1959–62)

Hoopoe – experimental film (1958)

Last Year in Marienbad – film about (sort of) a weird, paranoid math professor (2009)

Mad Love – Korean film about a sad woman (1990)

Melancholia – "scary" sci-fi film (2011)

Pi – mathematics art film (2008)

Solaris – sci-fi film, sort of, with a bunch of weird, paranoid math professors

The Stunt Man – film about a wacky stunt double (1963)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit – film about (sort of) a wacky stunt double (1951)

Yojimbo – film about (sort of) a wacky stunt double, in a post-WWII era where there's a lot of weird, paranoid math professors

(Some of these might not be technically movies or TV but are still sort of movies or TV, e.g. "film." Or "sort of" movies or TV, e.g. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.)

I guess it makes sense that this list is dominated by TV, since I'm really into TV right now.

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

seungmin x reader | part seven of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst

↬ warnings; obviously pregnancy, talk of sex/condoms, talk of morning sickness, cursing, child-birth

↬ notes; i feel like my mental health is getting worse and it has been really hard to be positive but i finished this awhile ago, never posted it! just thought to post it today since i just reached 500 followers,, tysm everyone for the support on my posts and following me for content,, i’m waiting for enhypen debut rnnn, it’s really one of the only things keeping me happy n ready. my bias is jungwon :) he’s so adorable n cute i can’t wait + i hope to start writing for enhypen soon when i feel better,, ty guys <3

the night was a one night stand

seungmin had no plans to see you after, you already gone by the morning so it made no different what he wanted afterwards

so with his number in your phone, you decided that texting him would be the best

you texted him your address, asking him to meet with you after u addressed who you were

the best maybe after twelve, seeing as how from nine to eleven you would be occupied with the toilet bowl, the morning sickness really weighing on you

hes there, ready to talk, looking great

ur just there in a t-shirt and sweatpants with slightly messy hair

you seat him on ur couch, pacing in the kitchen before actually beginning to talk

“it broke, or maybe you forgot. i don’t know but you, you got me pregnant.”

i honestly see seungmin being really innocent in this and he’s just made a bad decision which resulted in a baby

“wh-what? no, i used.. i..”

it dawns on him that he can’t remember slipping on a condom before

he’s turned white as a sheet, probably feeling more ill than you

he does the math, figuring you’re around two months, you’re not that far along obviously

“we don’t have to do this, you hardly know me.”

hes shaking his head quickly, “nono, i wanna.. i may never get this chance again. i might not ever meet someone again, so, if it’s with you? i’m fine with that.”

seungmin was there for the next appointment, fully supportive and stepping up

hes scared but so excited

he also moves out of the dorms, raising flags, but he keeps assuring everyone that he was just getting a change of scenery

he claims he got a dog but uh, there isn’t one

he actually moves in with u, an apartment that wasn’t too far away from the dorms and he will time to time spend the night if they need him to

ur actually really understanding of his career and u admire his adjustment

late night with him where u two go to a twenty-four hour convenience store and buy every junk food possible

u also acquired strange cravings such a pineapple and cream cheese or kimchi and chocolate sauce

that night however u rly had a craving for cheese and cheese only

it doesn’t last however, from three to five you are in the bathroom hunched over

he?? isnt?? actually?? the worst partner to get pregnant from a one stand with?????????????????????????????????????????

he’s pretty much a sweetheart

bless everyones heart though when they find out about you

“this is my friend, we are.. having a uh, baby!”

haha surprise...

u swore that jisung’s breath was lost when he said that

chan is fucken freaking out about this

“we’re gonna be uncles!”

everybody screaming and cheering which was a good sign

ur days are average and u guys just act like friends

friends having a baby lmfao

it’s a fine line between dating and not dating

seungmin reaaalllyy likes you but he has this bit of guilt in him for getting you pregnant

ur the one who uprooted your life and ur gonna have a kid for the rest of ur life with him and he’s still living his and doing what he loves

seungmin heart eyes motherfucker when u come to a concert, just there to see him n see what he does for a living

u guys get this cute ass picture of everyone lmfao i just imagine the boys and seungmin standing around and posing with ur small bump

he doesn’t get to go to every single appointment, so his first appointment he went to was when you were around six and a half months

he’s super excited and just super nervous

so many expecting moms its crazy

when your name is called and you two go back, he’s jumping out of his seat and going back with you

the doctor applies the gel on your stomach, the rounded bump sticking out prominently

his hand clasps around yours, fingers laced with yours and he gives you a warm smile

the screen flickers on and theres your baby

it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen

he can clearly see the legs and arms, theres the head!!! he can make out the toes and fingers

then u guys get to hear the heartbeat together

it’s so strong and he just,, wow.. this is real 😣

ur bearing his child, your guys’ baby,, he can hardly believe it

then the doctor asks if u two want to know the gender

“yeah.” 🥺🥺🥺

ofc u could’ve known before but u didn’t know if seungmin wanted to find out or wait n u just would feel guilty if u went ahead

he was rly trying to be as involved as possible, he had a busy schedule and u two weren’t even dating and this whole thing was happening secretly

they turn the monitor for you two to look at, pointing around

“there they are, we have a baby boy.”

seungmin is so taken aback, this all is so .. unreal for him

he’s ready to get the disc with ur ultrasound footage n the heartbeat but also the ultrasound photos 🥺 he’s so in love with your baby boy

u two are just sitting in the office after, ur wiping off ur belly n he’s just like

“i’m in love with you. you and our son — i know, we agreed to co-parenting and no feelings but,” his voice is so strained n he’s just so fragile n so utterly raw, “i couldn’t help it.”

ur fact at first is just frozen and slightly shocked

then ur like 😮🥺😣

“no, cause i was thinking the same exact thing.”

that seals the deal for u two pretty much, ur both emotional wrecks in the exam room

theres the boyfriend and girlfriend dynamic now — seungmin and you sleeping cuddled together

it wasn’t like you two didn’t cuddle before,, but it would usually end up with seungmin silently creeping out of bed or you softly removing his arm or you leaving him gently

u rely on him more, the final trimester hard on you and ur so exhausted and hurting

u two getting the nursery ready together which actually consists of u sitting down rather than actually doing anything

though u will have to teach this boy how to put away bibs and fold baby clothes

u two are young and u both have a lot of explaining to do to your own families, but they are supportive

they r more than happy to teach u two about children and giving tips on these things

blue nursery with lil teddy bears around and its just the cutest, props to room designer seungmin 🤓

baby boy is so stubborn, you’re past your due date and you both want him out

you two try a shit ton of things

name it all: pineapple, spicy foods, raspberry tea, daily walks around the block, literally everything

everything except for the obvious that had been recommended by your obgyn

sex.

both of you two hadn’t really explored in the topic of sex or anything of the sort, it was slightly awkward

you’re five days overdue now, which now you couldn’t even care

“please..! they said it works, even our ob said so!”

he is so cautious about this, but begrudgingly decides to proceed with this idea

he’s so sweet 🥺 but maybe a little too sweet because next thing you know is that two short hours later ur water breaks and u are in labor!!!!

both of you are vv nervous

his hyungs are right there to calm him down, asking you if ur okay and if u need anything

they rly adore their lil minnies baby mama & their lil nephew

seungmin is big daddy deffo

he’s so attached to u 🥺 it hurts to see u in so much pain and he can’t do much to take it away, but he will kiss ur forehead and wipe ur tears away

he personally finds u so angelic as u are quite literally coated in sweat and nearly breaking his hand

it’s finally over, you and seungmin both turning to the tiny baby that just came into the world, both of u crying while laughing at the beet red baby

theres your little baby boy in your arms, squirming at the new coldness and trying to move around in the blanket

all of the boys come in, excited to meet the baby

in amazement you made this adorable, small baby after one night

this experience was everything and more to you both, so glad you weren’t as careful one night and now had the greatest gift given to you: your small son who slept soundly in your arms

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[ktheist]

finale — show me yours & i’ll show you mine

➙ muses. seokjin x college student / gamer!reader ft. best friend! taehyung

➙ genre. best friend’s brother au. university au. working au. fwb au.

➙ word. 2.1k

➙ index. 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | finale | side story 1 |

➙ synopsis. 

“show me yours and i’ll show you mine.”

x

“be nice," taehyung mouths across from you as he sits next to mina.

the red handprints on his cheeks becoming more apparent with each passing minute. it was half-believable to say taehyung fell face first in the snow, got stuck there for more than two minutes and voila, sported a red face upon your return to the kim’s.

but now, you’re just lucky no one’s pointing out the very obvious palm shaped mark on his pudgy cheeks as he stuffs his face with food.

“oh, mina, do you have any plans tomorrow? you could stay over and spend christmas morning with us," mrs kim asks as she passes the bowl of the roasted potatoes seokjin’s been boasting about.

“o-oh,” the brunette stammers, holding the fork with both hands as if citing a prayer of hope, “no, i couldn’t intrude on you any longer.”

“no such thing, we’re all family here.” mrs kim waves a dismissive hand and even that brief gesture feels warm, “___’s mother and i have known your mother since we were kids and i watch you two grow up with my boys - you’re basically  daughters i never had,” she shoots you a smile, eyes crinkling in the corners.

not seeing the remark coming, you end up almost choking on the mushroom soup you’re just in the middle of enjoying.

“i can’t say i’d love to have tae as a sibling but here we are,” you jest, half-heartedly while laughter erupts from everyone at the table.

if there’s a god, please don’t let mrs kim find out i fucked her oldest son.

“i heard yuukal co is interested in your flower arrangements and wanna buy exclusive rights to have you deliver them to the company whenever they have an event lined up?” namjoon chirps up, dimples digging into his cheek as he digs into his 

“the secretary of yuukal co was an acquaintance of mine in college, that’s probably why.” the brunette says shyly, pushing her hair to the back of her ear.

“so, you’re not planning on going back to college?” 

but it’s your voice that makes her blink once and stare at you like you’re some tricky math question.

“what- oh,” she shakes her head, as if shaking away the trance that delayed her response, “i don’t know, my major has nothing to do with what i want to do so i’m thinking of taking another year off.”

you nod casually. understandingly. “i’m sure the college has plenty of spots for people who actually wants to be there, i guess.”

it’s not a new low. but it’s a kind of low you never usually stoop to.

no one seems to notice though, as mina laughs. obviously uncomfortable by your remark, “haha yeah.”

“taehyung got offered a job at the company he interned in last year,” with a smack on the aforementioned boy’s back, seokjin proudly announces.

and just like that, taehyung takes the spotlight to himself.

“oh my god, that’s wonderful news. kim taehyung, when were you going to tell us?” mrs. kim is the first to say something, eyes brimming with anticipation as she looks at him, waiting for him to tell everyone at the table more about it.

but the fact of the matter is, kim taehyung is torn between working a nine-to-five, subsequently making his parents proud or going professional as a full time gamer.

he breathes out an ‘uh...’ before his lips curl into a forced smile.

“surprise?”

x

some time after dinner, you end up drinking and playing card games. mrs kim already went to bed and it's a hour past midnight and all four of your find yourselves in your house to not disturb the kim couples.

the grinch is playing in the background because you, taehyung and mina won against namjoon and seokjin who wanted to watch frozen.

“frozen is so unchristmasy,” taehyung complained.

though, at one point, you did backtrack a little - only a teensy bit - and sided with seokjin who looked like he just won a lottery when you casually say, “i mean frozen’s got that wintry feeling and christmas is in-”

“oh girl, not you choosing a man over your best friend,” taehyung started tickling your sides as giggles erupted from your lips while trying to beg for forgiveness.

 “okay! okay! i’m grinch team all the way!”

“is that allowed? yah! you can’t say that after converting to team frozen!” seokjin’s rebuttal sounded every bit casual.

in retrospect, him joining taehyung’s ticklish assault would have felt out of character had you not fucked behind taehyung’s back nor kissed like you were star crossed lovers just hours ago.

“two against one! not fair! seokjin- ah- hahahaha!” 

one good thing came out of it though: you ended up sitting next to seokjin. it made you a little too conscious of him - of his cologne, of his thigh that brushes against yours with every movement you make and pretend like it’s nothing and of the ghost of a touch of his pinky finger that lingers on your knee when he seemingly places a hand on his own knee. 

still, it’s the closest you could ever be in public and it’s enough to tell mina to back off.

she doesn’t seem to notice but her compliments are equally distributed to everyone in the room. she seems to be the giggly drunk. giggling at every single thing everyone say.

somewhere deep in your heart, you feel the guilt gnawing because of your uncalled for hostility.

“i better get home,” she starts to stand at 3:07 am and you wave a dismissive hand, “no, it’s so late. stay over. please. you promised to make me your special hot chocolate in the morning.”

she objects at first like she turned down mrs kim’s invitation to spend christmas morning at the kim’s. and that’s how you know your views have been blinded with jealousy to see mina for who she is - a cute, lovable girl who’d be the heroine of every romance novel there is.

“oh thank you, thank you!” her arms flail around before they wrap around you in a drunken hug.

you laugh, hugging back.

x

the memories of how you huddled together like children and fell asleep in the living room, is hazy but when you wake up - the time on your screen displaying a 6 something am - you find a blanket draped over your body.

the light from the kitchen pours over the living room but not enough to wake the slumbering bodies there.

seokjin shoots you a smile when he sees you ambling over to the dining table with hair pointing in every direction, eyes squinting trying to block out the light while holding the blanket around your shoulders.

“you’re working? jinnie, it’s christmas,” you whine, head resting on his shoulder, feeling your heartbeat skip at the small contact.

he chuckles, bumping his cheek against your head before you hear the sound the keyboard again.

you stay like that, blanket curled around your body, seokjin typing away at his laptop.

that is, until his velvet voice cuts through the silence.

“so... i reckon that red handprint on tae’s cheek isn’t because he fell face first in snow.”

“it was because i slapped him in the face,” you wave your injured hand that’s now wrapped with a panda printed band aid instead of the duck ones seokjin used in the beginning.

he takes your hand, making sure not to apply too much pressure on the injury and kisses the top of your hand, “why would you do that?”

your cheeks warm at the gesture but you clear your throat, trying to play it cool, “because he told me we looked good together after all that shit he put us through.”

silence lulls in once again.

it feels like the longest you’ve ever gone with your heart palpitating inside your chest and unspoken words hovering over you but not quite reaching the who they’re supposed to reach.

“do we?” seokjin muses.

“do we... what?” you ask despite having an inkling of what he means.

“look good.” he turns to you, one arm on the table, thumb brushing against your pinky finger.

“i don’t know- we never even took selfies together.” you shrug.

“i think our selfies would look cute,” he pauses, naturally pouty lips curling into a smile, “so cute that the guys in your dm’s would be devastated to know that you’re dating me.”

“i can’t... do this,” the words slip out of your mouth like a waterfall like it’s bound to pour out of your heart through your mouth at some point, “because taehyung was... right. i don’t have a love language - even if i did, it’d be being jealous of every girl that talks to you. lashing out at those girls even though it’s completely understandable why they’d have heart eyes when they talk to you because you’re just that amazing... and... and... you like me? why?”

seokjin’s eyes look like someone personally plucked stars from the sky and trap them in those dark brown irises.

no- actually, he’s looking at you like you’re the star and he’s the moon that shines silver white rays just to have you notice him.

“who’s to say i don’t get jealous?” he cups your face, brows furrowing like you’re a math question without a solution and he’s going mad trying to figure you out, “i get so jealous at the thought of guys sliding into your dm’s, let alone make a pass on you but then i thought ‘if she’s not looking at me then i just have to try harder to make her notice me’ and i might or might not’ve reciprocated mina’s passes to make you jealous...”

you feel the corners of your lips tugging into a smile as you smack his chest lightly, “ass.”

that earns a chuckle from the man before he goes on, “but i’m not even sure what my love language is either, last i used it, i ended up getting dumped because apparently i’m too boring.”

“you’re not boring...” red flashes in your vision as you spit out the word, offended, “your dad jokes are bad but that’s what makes them so lovable. you’re so tall but you’re a literal walking teddy bear. you have biggest, kindest heart... and you’re so hung.”

something devious and prideful flashes across his eyes for the briefest moment before he asks ever so softly, “yeah?”

“yes.” you take his hands and grip them tightly, wishing the touch would convey your feelings.

“isn’t that kind of your love language?” his thumb feels callous against your skin as he rubs circles on the back of your hand. but that’s what makes this feels real - an affirmation that you’re not dreaming, “so... show me more... show yours and i’ll show you mine.”

you’d want to say you share a deep, passionate kiss to seal your promise for each other. but when you open your eyes - not knowing when you closed it - you’re staring at the white ceiling with neon starry stickers tacked up on it. 

and seokjin?

he’s nowhere to be found.

the morning air sends shivers down your spine as you pull your blanket over your head, trying to tune out taehyung’s voice.

but the universe seems set on kicking your sleepy ass of your bed when the door swings open with a bang! 

“get up! get up! it’s christmas!” the tall boy literally screams in your ears before hoisting you over his shoulder like a sack of potato and setting you down on the toilet in the bathroom with a “you better wash your face by the time i come back!”

you do as told.

eventually.

since the presents are all set under the christmas tree at the kim’s and you’re not looking to upload a christmas morning story in mismatched pj’s, you change into a cute totoro onesie.

mr and mrs kim got mina - she thanked you for letting her stay over last night even though you woke up to an empty house, she even has different clothes on than last night - new kits for the florist.

taehyung almost hugged you to death when he unwrapped his new ps5 that he’s been dying for.

namjoon got a new pair of gucci loafers from taehyung and booked an interrogation slot with their mother because-

“kim taehyung, where did you get all this money?”

you suspect he’s going to reveal his gaming channel to her where he got sponsors from to buy namjoon those loafers.

and seokjin gifted you with a heartshaped necklace as well as a new pc set for taehyung and a signed book of namjoon’s favorite writer that he’d been talking about for ages as well as an all expense paid trip for his parents to thailand.

“thanks for the necklace,” you lightly bump seokjin’s elbow as you come to stand next to him at the sink. he’s washing the mug he used for hot coffee.

he steals a glance at his family and mina in the living room. they’re laughing over taehyung having his head down, sitting on his calves like he’s asking for the forgiveness of a lifetime after confessing that he didn’t want to work a nine-to-five and wanted to go pro.

then his eyes find yours again. the glint in them makes your heart stop before he leans down, lips brushing yours ever so gently yet very seokjin-like.

you think your heart just burst as you freeze in your spot, staring up at the man with slightly parted lips and warm cheeks like a high school girl whose crush very obviously hinted he likes her back.

he raises a quizzical brow at your reaction before realization settles on his face and his lips curve into a smirk, “what? did you think last night was all a dream?”

x

taglist.  @aretha170 @scalubera @ambersaesthetics @heyjiminnie @hyuck-me @fanfuckingfic @fangurl-ontgeside @bri-mal @waves-and-woods @rjsmochii​ @kimmieloveswho​

[s1utspeare]

to the writing challenge prompt list: liu sang (you guessed it!) and liberosis 👀 bc what else would I want other than PainTM

oooohhhh Vishie you do know the way to a girl’s heart (in reference to this post; send me some prompts!!)

liberosis—the desire to care less about things

It’s a long way down the mountain.

The only blessing is that the pain is less. Sure, the world is sweeping in great, broad strokes underneath his feet, and there’s a ringing in his head that’s louder than anything he’s heard before, but it doesn’t hurt, per say. At least not physically.

Their little caravan goes something like this; Wu Xie is carrying Jia Kezi, as Wu Xie is now, irony of all ironies, healthier than pretty much all of them put together, except for maybe Ouxiang, who is currently helping Pangzi hop along. The big man is talking loudly to his two best friends, probably to distract himself from the pain of a compound leg fracture. Occasionally, Wu Xie will put a hand out to keep Pangzi upright, the three of them molded together once again, as they should be.

Hei Xiazi plods along behind them. He’d volunteered to carrying Jia Kezi himself, but he’s currently got a bullet floating in his abdomen, so Wu Xie had declined his offer. Despite this, Hei-ye seems relatively okay, which is probably due to his strange superhumanness, though his face is somber, pale. Li Jiale is a few steps behind him, which Liu Sang privately thinks is a bit funny; blind, mute, and now deaf. What a group they are.

(It’s not funny, actually. He doesn’t know why he said that.)

Liu Sang and Bai Haotian are bringing up the rear, due to being the shortest and, as much as he’s loathe to admit it, the weakest. Bai Haotian seems to have decided that she’s his personal bodyguard now, which confuses him a lot, because in any other circumstances, he would be protecting her. But ever since... well, since, she’s taken a stance next to him like a sentinel, and even glared at Wu Xie once when he approached too quickly and Liu Sang flinched because he couldn’t hear him coming. 

Yeah. He couldn’t hear him coming. Fuck. 

If he wasn’t so tired, he’d probably be in the middle of a full-blown panic attack, which he has a feeling will be coming later. He’s... there’s a lot going on, in his brain, underneath the ringing and the migraine that’s been pounding steadily against his skull since he took on a headful of dynamite, because, surprise, losing your hearing doesn’t automatically get rid of the pain you already did to your brain before your eardrums ruptured. So there’s still a tattoo beat behind his eyes and clawing at the back of his neck, and he kind of wants to shake his head, pound on the side until he stops feeling like there’s bugs crawling around under his skin. 

That had not been a pleasant experience. At all. A soft buzz, and then, before he could react, the sharp pinch of something that shouldn’t be there, carving into his ears and rooting around inside. He doesn’t remember collapsing on Pangzi, doesn’t even know why he did, really, except for that his body sensed an intruder and went into full lockdown mode. The phantom sensation of legs and wings brushing along his ear canal makes him shiver, and he can’t help it, he jerks his neck to the side, trying to fling the feeling far away. 

His balance has turned to shit, though, because two perforated eardrums mean that your inner gravitational sensory system is fucked, so the movement ends up over-correcting him to the side, where he knocks into Bai Haotian’s shoulder and almost sends both of them flying. Luckily for her, though, he’s maybe at a quarter of what his strength should normally be, so she just stumbles a bit, able to keep them both upright. 

Sure doesn’t seem like it though. Everything tips on its end, and he finds himself looking at the sky while still on his feet which is a weird sort of view. Also his neck feels like putty. Hm. Maybe he should throw up. 

Unfortunately, that doesn’t really solve any of his problems except to make him dizzier, and when his body gets done heaving onto the trail, he finds that someone has sat him down on a large rock and is pressing a cool hand to his forehead. He blinks rapidly, dumbly, at Wu Xie, who is hovering in front of him, and his mouth is moving. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Liu Sang tells him. Again. How loud is he talking? He has no idea. His vocal cords vibrate in a way that makes it seem like it’s fairly loud, but he can’t hear. He can’t hear it, he can’t fucking hear—

Oh, yup, here comes the panic. 

He pushes Wu Xie away, clumsily, and tries to stand up again, but haha, his balance is actually garbage, so he just pitches forward into someone’s arms, and it’s Wu Xie again because of course it fucking is, why is he still here? He was supposed to leave Liu Sang behind, he was supposed to go, Liu Sang wasn’t supposed to make it out—oh. Oh. He wasn’t supposed to say that, was he? 

Wu Xie’s face swims before him, and his mouth is open too wide for normal speech, so he must be shouting, which makes sense, because Liu Sang has just told him a really big secret. But it’s the truth, isn’t it? Wu Xie has to know that. 

Liu Sang is supposed to be dead. 

He almost wants to laugh, because it seems like the world’s cruelest joke, almost, that they’re all mostly alive. Because fuck. Liu Sang almost had his throat slit, almost had his skull beaten in, almost had a bug eat his brain. And at that point, with Wu Xie sick and drowning in his own lungs and dying, with their chances of survival dwindling down to nothing as they tried to find the right combination of choices to make it to Thunder City, he’d done the calculations. Liu Sang’s not just good hearing and a fake Zhang tattoo; he’s smart. It’s what’s kept him alive. It’s what was going to kill him. 

When Pangzi held up the stick of dynamite next to the thunder columns, the calculations went like this:

Wu Xie is dying. The only way he survives is by getting to the Artifact. That’s it.

If Wu Xie dies, Ouxiang and Pangzi are dying. There’s no shape with only two sides.

If Ouxiang and Pangi die, Bai Haotian dies. She’s twenty; she’s fucking twenty years old. She’s not dying in some stupid tomb in the middle of nowhere, alone, by herself.

Maybe Hei-Xiazi makes it out. Maybe. But Mr. Jiao is here, too, and even Hei-ye can’t outrun a firing squad.

Liu Sang is their best weapon, right now. That’s all. He’s always been useful, but right here, right now, this is where he does what he does best. This is where he listens. And if that happens to fuck over Mr. Jiao and Jiang Zisuan and every other fucking person who’s tried to kill them, then sure. Fuck it. It’s as much as he could’ve hoped for.

With only one ear, only one half of his whole, Liu Sang is basically already dead. Might as well make it official.

It’s just math. It’s logical. He was their best hope. Their only hope. You don’t save the bullets in your gun because shooting means they’re gone afterward. You just. You shoot.

He had made his peace with it. He was going to die in that tomb, in the caves, under the ground, alone. He was damaged, and he didn’t know if he would ever be able to work again like he had before. So he turned off the safety. Pulled the trigger. He’d given Wu Xie the rest of everything he had to offer, because somewhere along the way, he realized that he couldn’t bear to see him die.

He told himself that it was for Ouxiang, because Ouxiang would have been devastated without Wu Xie, but there’s some part of him, hidden under layers and layers of thorns, that recognized that losing Wu Xie would devastate Liu Sang, too. He didn’t want to watch that. He didn’t want to listen to that. And if he hadn’t been able to save Wu Xie, in the end, then at least he’d have gone first.

It was selfish, really.

He had pulled away from Wu Xie because he didn’t want to go, not because he couldn’t. He accepted the handful of peanuts from Pangzi with the intention of dropping them as soon as they were out of sight, because his stomach had been rolling too hard to even think of food, and he was so tired, so tired. He was ready. He was dying. He was going to curl up next to a stone wall, just out of sight of anyone who might pass by, and he was going to close his eyes and pretend that he wasn’t alone, wasn’t afraid, and then slowly, slowly, he was going to fall asleep. It would have been nice, he thinks. It would have been okay.

But by some sort of miracle, they’re here, on a mountain path, and Liu Sang is alive and Wu Xie is alive, alive enough to be shouting at him, alive enough to ask, What do you mean? Liu Sang, what do you mean, you weren’t making it out? Liu Sang. Liu Sang.

Liu Sang’s never been good at reading lips, but he knows the shape of his name in Wu Xie’s mouth.

He remembers, then, why he has never fallen in love before.

It’s because it sounds like nothing.

It’s because it hurts.

[lunapwrites]

One of my favorite (and most self-indulgent) things that I wrote was Sirius nerding out over space. Because I'm a little soft for Sirius being in love with the stars even though he hates the family that took their names for their own. And because I love the stars, and it's easy for me to nerd out with him.

All of the facts that he rattled off about the constellation Lupus are true. It really does contain multitudes. One of the nebulae he waxes poetic about is IC-4406: the Retina Nebula (which was not so named back then and I'm sad about it.) It's beautiful, and he would not have known just how much because the technology wasn't quite there yet.

And the supernova remnant? That's true too. SM-1006, and it is actually from the brightest supernova on record AND occurred on May 1st, 1006... 992 years to the day before Remus spent his last day on Earth in canon (something which I conveniently ignore but for the sake of symbolism bears mentioning because he, like that star, did not go quietly.) And yes, supernovas join comets in the lists of starry portents of doom (see previous point as to why I was having a mental breakdown over this lol.)

Anyway. I just love stars and I love talking about stars and I'm still kicking myself over being too much of a coward to take astronomy when I had the chance in college (because *math*, but I took chemistry instead which is -- wait for it -- also math. But I still snuck in a paper about Vera Rubin and dark matter so I think I still win in the end haha.) But yeah, anyone that reads my work might just end up with a random dissertation on something snuck in there somewhere and I hope y'all are okay with that lmao.

[danowh0re]

hiii, can i get a dano ship? ^^

hobies: listening to music, painting, drawing, singing and reading.

likes: plants, animals, nature, the sea, self expression, color blue, bears, collecting tiny spoons and mugs (i'm an old man ig), traveling, mithology, new knowledge, anime, rain, cold weather, food in general, sweets, sleeping, museums and existing in my room, history movies, fantasy and comics.

Dislikes: loud sounds, being bothered when sleeping, nosy people, exams, school, homework, stress, hot weather, maths, phisycs, not being taken seriously, tomato, people touching my stuff without me knowing, fuckboys (👺), going to the doctor and diets.

MBTI and enneagram: intj, number 4. (Idk if u need it but just in case 👍)

Description of myself?

i can be introverted or extroverted honestly but i'm more of an introvert, i just really really like calmness and value a lot the personal space of other people, my personality technically depends on who am i talking with and i adapt to he other person's humour (only if i like them). I am AlWAYS in my mind just bc i found this world boring or overly stressing (maladaptive daydreams go brrrrrrrR) and i obviously can't function without music. I like to plan my future a lot just to have something to look forward to but honestly sometimes i just go with the flow and try to not put too much pressure on myself, i value my freedom a lot. Apparently i'm also a very good listener but i totally suck at comforting people, if i don't give a solution to your problem then i'll probably just lay down with you and hug you if you want.

Romance and love language?

I'm a total virgin bruh, i haven't had a romantic experience in my life but i think i know how i would be if i was in a relationship.

First (and i'll say it again lol), i value the other person's personal space, always consent first. My love language is acts of service, i lOoOove taking care of people like that and just make them food, clean so they can relax, or even if my actions aren't acts of service i want them to know that they are totally safe with me. Sing them to sleep, spoil the hell out of them like buying little details that i know they will like, cuddles are a must as well, forehead kisses, praises and if i'm being overly afectionate i might just talk and tell them how much they mean to me.

Physical appearance?¿

plain plain looking. chubby, *t i G h s*, tanned cinnamon skin (ig that's my friends opinion lol), eye bags and depending on the mood i could look like i live in a cottage collecting flowers or like a backroom entity who spies on humans for fun.

this is a lot, congrats for reading this honestly 😭🎉

have a good time! 🌸💕

Thank you for how much detail you put haha!!!!

I SHIP YOU WITH HANK!!!!!

[chibinekochan]

😭 all I can think of for the twins birthday is the cake. Maybe the kinds of cake you think they’d eat?

Lol, the true glutton choice — I mean it's right on the mark.

Now I'm hungry. T-T

I just made a little baking cake scenario, where you bake a cake with one twin for the other twin.

Both of these are like 1k words

Belphie

He comes to you with his request. 

"Look, I want to bake a nine-tier cake for Beel. Last year we all baked him a small one, but it just wasn't enough to feed him at all. So this year I want to make sure that he gets enough cake to be full." 

"Nine tiers? That's a lot. Will that even be possible?" You can't imagine it. 

"Normally it wouldn't, but I have some special powder that will make it possible. It will cause the cake to be super light." Belphie then shows you a couple of cupcakes. He lets them go, and they float in the air. "See, I made these to make sure it will work."

"Wow, that's pretty cool. But wouldn't it be easier to just bake nine cakes and why nine tiers anyway?" You are impressed but still wonder why the extra effort.

"Maybe, but that's how we do it every year. I want something special for him this year and the number is just for every person that means so much to us." Belphie is steadfast in his decision. 

"Did you include me on that list?" That is the only way the math adds up. 

Belphie grins. "Yes, of course. So will you help me?" 

"I will help you. I want to see Beel’s smile too." Naturally, you agree. 

Belphie is honestly relieved. 

It's a challenge to put it lightly. The sheer amount of ingredients makes you dizzy. 

Your whole body hurts after mixing everything together. 

Belphie is very determined, you rarely see him like this. 

He doesn't even seem to be tired at all. 

Baking the cake is another big challenge. 

You use the kitchen in the castle since the oven is bigger.  

Both of you are kinda bored watching the oven. 

"You are covered in flour." Belphie chuckles. 

"Haha yeah, so are you." You shake the flour off your clothes and laugh.

Belphie cleans himself up. "You forgot some." Belphie pats your shoulder and then wipes your face. His hand lingers longer on your face than it needs to be. 

You blush. 

"Belphie, do I really have flour there?" You are pretty sure that it must be all gone now. 

Belphie smiles at you in a devious way. "Probably not." Then he pokes your nose and giggles. 

You puff your cheeks. He always does things like this to you. "You got some flour left too." With that, you ruffle his hair. 

Belphie huffs. "If you play dirty like that I will get you back." With that, Belphie starts to tickle you. 

"Ahh, so unfair." You playfully protest. "I will get you back for that one!" You start to attack his side. 

What causes Belphie to laugh uncontrollably. "Stop, stop, I admit defeat."

"Alright, I hope you learned your lesson." You grin at him victoriously. 

Belphie holds his hand up in the air. "I will not mess with the new tickle champ anymore. How about a victory kiss?" He smiles at you. 

You shake your head and are about to give in when the timer rings. 

Belphie groans. "Talk about bad timing."

You giggle and help to pull the cake out. 

Then you layer everything and cover the whole cake. 

It's a very impressive sight. 

"So, now we just have to bring it to the room where the food for the party is stored." It will still be a challenge, that much is certain. 

"Don't worry Barbatos said we can leave it here, and he will bring it to the party." Belphie is glad that he already took care of it. 

"Great, so that means we are done?" You feel a sense of relief. 

"Well, yeah except for one thing." Belphie smiles at you. 

"And that is?" You wonder what you have forgotten. 

"Close your eyes," Belphie smirks at you. You know what that means. So you play along. "Alright." You close your eyes. 

Anticipating what will come next. 

You can feel his breath on your face.

Then he gives you a very soft kiss. "Thank you for your help today."

Your eyes flutter open, and you see Belphie with slightly red cheeks. 

"No problem." You barely manage to say this much. 

Then you get interrupted by Barbatos and just go back to your room. 

Finally, the day of the party arrives. 

You barely can wait for Beel’s reaction.

The cake is massive. It's the biggest thing you have ever seen. 

When Beel sees it he is so happy. He barely stops himself from jumping into it. 

The hugs both you and Belphie with a bear hug. "Thank you so much you two! This is the best present."

"No problem Beel." You only manage to say this much. 

"As long as you like it I'm happy." Belphie is very pleased with this reaction. 

It was all worth it.

  Beel

He comes to you with a big request. 

"I really need your help with baking a cake for Belphie." 

"Sure, what can I help you with?" You have a feeling why he might need help. 

"Well, first of all, I want to make sure that I don't eat all the ingredients. I bought more than enough but I can't mess it up. I also need some help with the decoration." Beel looks like a distraught puppy. 

"I can help you with that no problem." You know how hard this is for Beel. So you gladly offer your support. 

"Thank you so much! I will pay you back for sure." Beel lights up, it seems like a big stone fell off his heart. 

"There is no need for that. I enjoy baking and I love spending time with you." It's a great way to spend time together in your opinion. 

"Great, then let's do this!" Beel is pumped. 

You both go to the kitchen. 

You can see that Beel bought at least 10 times the amount of ingredients. 

"Alright, I will manage the ingredients and you will do the mixing." This is the best plan in my opinion. 

Beel agrees with a nod. "Sounds good."

You carefully measure everything and Beel really fights against his urge to eat everything. 

It's a struggle for Beel. 

"Here have this." You hand him an xxxxxl chocolate bar. 

"Thanks, you are a lifesaver." Beel gratefully eats it. This seems to help Beel a lot. 

"No problem. That's why I'm your baking assistant after all." You smile at Beel. 

"I'm glad that I asked you. I can't thank you enough for this." Beel smiles kindly at you. 

"How did you do this before I came?" You are pretty curious about this.

"Well, I always manage somehow. I would make a few cakes or just ask one of my brothers to hold me back. It was always a huge battle. It's pretty shameful to be honest." Beel looks distraught. 

"You still always manage to do it for Belphie and that is all that matters in my opinion. No matter how tough it is on you, you still do it just to make him happy. I think that's pretty amazing." You want to encourage Beel. 

Beel smiles at you. "You might be right. Thank you for seeing it like this." 

It's like he never even considered thinking this way. 

Then the cake is ready to be baked. 

Beel is very careful with it. 

You look at all the ingredients you still have left. "What should we do with these?" 

"Hmmm, it's much more than what I usually leave. I haven't thought about it." Beel expected to eat most of the extra ingredients. 

"I think we should make some muffins with them. It would be a great treat for everyone." You think it will give Belphie the chance to enjoy his favorite cake in a new way. 

"That's a great idea. I'm sure Belphie will love that." Beel loves this idea. 

"How about we have a snack while the cake is baking? It smells so good I'm getting hungry." As if to agree, my stomach rumbles. 

"I thought it was just me. I will make us some sandwiches. Is that alright with you?" Beel chuckles lightly. 

"Sounds great." You can only agree. 

While Beel is preparing food for you, you notice the flour in his hair. "Can you bend down for a moment?" 

"Um, sure." Beel doesn't even question why. 

You gently remove the flour. "There you go."

He looks a bit confused.

"There was flour in your hair." 

"Ah, and I thought you were just patting me for some reason." Beel smiles at me. 

"I can do that too. You definitely deserve headpats." You giggle a little. 

Beel blushes and then his stomach starts to sound like a lion. "We need to do that later."

"Haha yeah sure seems like it." You both eat your sandwiches. Beel eats an entire package. 

Then the cake is done. 

"It already looks great. Now it needs to cook down and then we get to decorate it." You look at the cake. 

Beel nods. "We should use the time to make the muffins."

"Yeah, that's right." You start to prepare the ingredients and Beel does the mixing. 

This works best for both of you. Then you bake the muffins. 

"So now to decorate this cake. Will you use the chocolate or do you want to put the sugar decorations on it?" 

"I will do the chocolate. These sugar decorations somehow always break when I touch them." Beel seems to have tried it many times. 

It makes sense to you that he is so strong that they probably just crumble. "Okay."

Beel carefully covers the whole cake and I place the various tiny and fragile decorations on top of it. 

"There we go. What do you think? Does it look good?" You are pretty proud of yourself, but it's most important to you that Belphie will like it. 

"It looks great. I couldn't have done it without you." Beel beams with happiness and pride. He pats you on the head. 

You blush. 

"That was because you deserve some head pats." Beel uses your words. It's pretty embarrassing to hear it from him. 

"Thank you." You aren't sure what else to say. 

"Hold on, you got some chocolate there." Beel eyes your face and then uses his finger to clean your cheek. He then licks his finger. "Delicious." 

You blush even more from that statement. 

The timer for the muffins saves you. 

They honestly look and smell great. 

"They are amazing! This was a great idea." Beel looks with a lot of pride at the muffins. 

"I have to agree. Do you want to decorate them too?" You look at the load of muffins that you made. 

"I will coat them in chocolate. Maybe one decoration each? Just leave two without." Beel has a plan. 

"Sure, but what about the leftover two?" You don't mind at all. 

"I've got a plan for these." Beel doesn't say anything else.

You don't mind it, it's making you curious if anything. 

So you decorate the muffins and Beel does something with the extra muffins behind you. 

You have to work hard to not peek. 

Once you are done Beel comes up to you, hands behind his back. 

"I made something for you." Beel then sheepishly hands you two very nicely decorated muffins. They each seem to represent one of the twins. 

It makes you smile. "Aww, that's so sweet of you Beel. Thank you so much." 

"I'm glad you like it." Beel smiles brightly. 

You take the muffins and decide to follow up on something you wanted to do earlier. 

"Could you bend down for me?" You ask with a smile. 

"Have I more flour in my hair?" He ruffles his hair.

"No, just do it." You shake your head. 

Beel then shrugs and bends down. 

You smile at him and give him a light kiss on the lips. 

Beel blushes, he didn't expect that at all. 

"That one was because you are so awesome." You give him a big smile. 

Beel blushes. "Thank you."

The day of the party arrives and Beel presents the cake and muffins to Belphie. 

He is very happy about all the effort that Beel put into it. 

"Wow, that's the best cake ever." Belphie loves all the work and love that was put into this. 

"Thank you but they helped me a lot." Beel looks at you. "It would've been impossible without them."

"That's sweet of you to say, but you did the most work. I'm just glad that Belphie likes it." This is a bit embarrassing to hear. 

"I love it. Thank you both."Belphie beams at both of you. It is a full success.

  Check my Obey me! Masterlist for more content

[hypmic-writings]

Congrats on 2 years!!🎉🎉🎉o(〃＾▽＾〃)o .Can i request a gentaro x F!Reader soulmate AU? I really Love your work! Keep doing what you do!! (And/or love lol)

I definitely love doing this blog so no worries there! Thank you for requesting this! This started as one thing and quickly became a whole different thing so I really hope it makes sense. Soulmate!AU with Gentaro is amazing because I feel like he would be really into it. Honestly the hardest part was the date/times and trying to make sure the math was correct haha Hope this was what you wanted~

Word Count: 4,086 

Genre: Angst/Fluff; Soulmate!AU, Female!Reader

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Everyone in the world had a soulmate marker.

Some had their first words of their soulmate inscribed on their skin. Some could sense their soulmates emotions, while others had distinctive, colorful markings that matched their soulmates. Some had compasses that could tell them the direction their soulmate was in while others simply had a number or word that was supposed to hold enough significance to dictate their lives.

Soulmates could be romantic, platonic, or anything in between. All it meant was an intensely strong bond between two people.

You simply had a timer on the back of your wrist where most people would fasten a watch. It was barely noticeable against the flesh of your skin, matching to the skin tone almost perfectly, but just one shade off so that you could read it. You had asked your family and friends if they could see it, but apparently it was not visible to anyone but yourself.

--

10:03:15:22:39:04

9 years, 7 months, 15 days, 22 hours, 39 minutes, 4 seconds.

That was how much time was left on your wrist when you first entered middle school at age 15.

You remembered frowning in annoyance, mad that you would have to wait an entire 9 years before meeting your soulmate. It was infuriating to say the least, especially as a young girl who would often daydream about your Prince Charming that would one day come to sweep you off your feet.

It had always been easy for you to make friends, and high school was no exception. You quickly joined clubs that interested you, meeting new people and working hard.

You met Gentaro Yumeno in literature club when you joined in your first year and quickly became close friends with him. He was handsome, there was no doubt about it, but more than that – he intrigued you. Always able to create intense, captivating storylines, Gentaro was always the first to have the most creative ideas on what to read, write, and discuss. You would spend hours together pouring over novels and literature and it was clear that you both held a passion for it.

He was playful and charming to everyone around him, but it was so blatantly clear to you that it was all just surface level. He was so much more complex than anyone gave him credit for, and it drove you mad.

All you wanted to do was talk to him for hours and hours about everything and anything. You wanted to know more about him in every sense of the word. What he liked. What he disliked. What made him happy or mad or sad or exhilarated.  

One day, when you and Gentaro had just started your second year, you were eating lunch together on the roof when he asked you a question.

“Y/N,” he had said, his voice soft and happy. “What’s your soulmate marker?”

The question seemed to come out of nowhere and you found yourself pausing for a moment before scooting closer to him and rolling up your sleeve to point at your wrist.

“It’s this. I know you can’t see it but it’s a watch that’s counting down the time until I meet my soulmate,” you explained. Gentaro’s eyes lit up as he took your wrist excitedly in his hands.

“I can see it too! Amazing!” he exclaimed, smiling widely. Your eyes grew twice their size as you gaped at him in shock.

“Wait, what?! Really!?” you shouted, beginning to feel excited. Gentaro chuckled lightly and let go of your wrist to shrug a little.

“Hehe, that was just a lie though,” he said with a boyish laugh. You quickly deadpanned before whining about how mean he always was to you. He simply nodded and apologized, taking your words as they rolled off his back. You resumed eating for a moment before frowning.

“Wait, what’s your soulmate mark?” you asked, suddenly curious. Gentaro dramatically put his hand to his forehead and the other to his heart

“I know nothing but the date of death of my soulmate! It’s a horrible knowledge to have but I alone must bear it!”

“…Gentaro…”

“Well, that was just a lie~”

--

05:11:02:07:49:22

5 years, 11 months, 2 days, 7 hours, 49 minutes, 22 seconds.

You glanced at your wrist briefly as you fixed your graduation dress. It was colder than most winters and you shivered as you quickly grabbed your coat, hugging yourself closely.

“Are your parents going to meet us there?” Gentaro asked, walking back into the living room. You nodded and gave him a smile.

“Yea, it’s just a little family get-together, so nothing big,” you stated, casually. “Thanks for coming though! There’ll be a few other people there so I’m sure you’ll know someone else,” you added, fixing the bracelet your were fumbling with to your wrist. You felt Gentaro’s eyes on you and you turned to face him with a confused smile. His gaze was unreadable and it made you slightly nervous.

“What?” you asked, laughing lightly. Gentaro shot you a warm smile and shook his head.

“It’s nothing. You just look very pretty, Y/N,” he said, his eyes softening into a sincere look that was so rare it was almost foreign to you. You felt your heart jump at his words and you immediately looked away for fear of betraying your emotions.

“T-thank you,” you said, feeling warmth blossom in your chest.

You found yourself pausing for a moment and wondering if this was the time to confess. You were both alone, but you were going to your graduation party together. If you confessed and he didn’t accept, would that make things awkward? You weren’t going to the same college and you didn’t know how often you would see him again, if ever.

The thought of never seeing Gentaro again sent a sharp pain to your chest and you instinctively brought a hand to your heart.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” Gentaro asked, his voice pulling you from your thoughts.

That’s right. He was still with you for now. And if the next few weeks were the last weeks you would have together, then you would make the most of them. You would spend as much time with him as possible and be as close to him as possible.

“Gentaro…” you managed, stepping a bit closer to him. “There’s…something I need to tell you…” you said, beginning to feel nervous. The confidence you built up moments ago was already beginning to fade as you felt your heart beat in your chest.

“Oh? Is this a confession?” Gentaro suddenly said. You shot your eyes up to him and felt the heat burn on your face as you took a step back.

“What!? Hey! Don’t just say things like that so casually! I was trying to be honest!” you shouted, embarrassment flooding your body as you crossed your arms around your chest tightly. “You ruined the moment…” you mumbled, trailing off as Gentaro’s light laugh filled the room. You were about to yell at him to stop when he spoke up.

“Y/N,” he said, bringing your attention back to him. “I’ve liked you ever since I first met you in literature club Freshman year, you know. You were so cute, even back then, it was hard for me to not have feelings for you.”

Gentaro’s sudden confession made your heart stop and your brain froze for a moment as you processed his words. He had feelings for you as well…and he had held them for just as long as you had.

“Why…” you whispered. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” you whined. “We could have spent more time together if you had!”

“Oh, but you didn’t say anything either so it’s not just my fault, right?” Gentaro said with his head tilted slightly and a hand on his chin. You sighed heavily and nodded at his words; he wasn’t wrong.

“Yea, I know…” you said, hesitantly. There was a brief pause as you composed your thoughts. “But…I do really like you, Gentaro,” you insisted, feeling the nerves come back as you spoke your true feelings. “I know that we might not have much time left together, but I guess I just wanted to be honest with you.”

Gentaro hummed at your words and you watched as he took your hand in his own. He gave you another sincere smile and you felt almost dizzy at the way he looked at you in that moment. His other hand brought itself to your chin and you let him brush your cheeks with his fingers before he slowly brought his lips down onto your own.

You stayed like that for a moment before you both pulled away, cheeks slightly flushed with smiles on both of your wet lips. You squeezed his hand gently before laughing nervously and looking away. The heat rising in your body was burning and you wanted nothing more than to stay with him for longer.

“That was…” you started, biting your lip. “…nice,” you finished, unable to articulate just how special that one touch of lips made you feel. You were sure Gentaro had better words, but he simply smiled and nodded, brushing your hair with a finger before pulling away.

“Yes. That was rather nice,” he said, laughing lightly as he walked past you towards the front door. Your eyes followed him with anticipation as he opened the door, the cold wind already blowing into the room. He held it open and reached out an arm towards you, willing you to take it and follow him outside.

“My lady,” he said, dramatically with a smile. A grin lifted your lips as you curtsied dramatically and took his hand with a laugh.

“My lord.”

--

02:07:17:09:58:16

2 years, 7 months, 17 days, 9 hours, 58 minutes, 16 seconds.

It had been a few years since high school and you laughed when you thought back to how you were worried you might not ever see Gentaro again. In fact, it had been quite the opposite. As soon as graduation was completed, you texted each other even more. You were always telling him about your day and all the things going on in your life and he kept you updated as well.

You often met for coffee or drinks, laughing about the past and making plans to meet up to do different things. It got to the point that you were spending so much time at his apartment, he eventually suggested you move in as his roommate. The idea of splitting rent and saving money appealed heavily to both of you, and although you went to separate colleges, you had no problem commuting. Especially since you were on track to graduate early.

“Surprise! Isn’t it great?” you said, marveling at your self-proclaimed masterpiece of a birthday cake. Gentaro laughed and nodded, putting an arm around your shoulder.

“It looks delicious, Y/N,” he said, fondly. “Thank you.” He turned to you and suddenly pressed a kiss to the top of your head before releasing you from his hold to grab some plates. You felt your breath catch at the action and your smile wavered a bit before you plastered it back on, offering to grab the forks.

You weren’t exactly sure what your relationship with Gentaro was.

You were living together, of course, but it wasn’t romantically. You would call each other pet names sometimes, but it was only ever playful. Sometimes you had mental breakdowns with the stress of school and you would cry in his arms until falling asleep with him, but that’s what friends did, right?

Kissing…was also something friends did…right?

“Gentaro,” you asked, watching him closely as he popped another piece of cake happily into his mouth. He glanced over at you with a frown immediately coming to his face and you wondered just how well he knew you that he was able to hear the change in your voice so quickly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly. He had glanced over at you with a frown immediately coming to his face and you wondered just how well he knew you that he was able to hear the change in your voice so quickly.  

You gulped a little and licked your lips. Was now really the best time to do this? It was his birthday after all. Maybe it would be better to wait until later on a day not meant for celebration.

“Y-you…!” you suddenly said, trying to think of a different topic. You glanced down at your wrist and saw your timer. “You never told me! That day on the roof in high school….you never told me what your soul mark was!” you exclaimed. You silently praised yourself for being such a quick thinker before turning to Gentaro with a feigned pout.

Gentaro’s eyes widened for a moment before he broke into a smile.

“Why are you suddenly bringing that up?” he asked, laughing lightly. You frowned, suddenly very interested in the topic.

“Why do you keep avoiding it?” you ask. “Every time I bring it up, you either tell me some crazy story or a blatant lie!” you added, crossing your arms at him expectantly. Gentaro brought a hand to the back of his neck and chuckled nervously.

“Ah, you’re acting scary, Y/N,” he stated, backing up slowly from you. You held his gaze for a moment before sighing and shaking your head. It had always been something you had wondered about, but you knew how intimate the details of soulmates could be so you had never inquired into it too much.

You had to remind yourself once again that the man standing across from you was not your soulmate.

There was someone else. Someone you hadn’t met yet. It was a thought you always had, constantly berating yourself for getting too close when your destiny was different. You and Gentaro were never meant to be together, but saying it out loud would make it all too real, so you never voiced your concerns to him. The thought that had brought you so much pleasure and excitement as a child suddenly made you feel nauseous.

“Y/N?” Gentaro asked, his voice now laced with concern. “You look sick, are you okay?” he asked, bringing a hand to your shoulder. You quickly moved away, not wanting him to touch you for fear that you would say something you would regret. You gave him a weak smile and nodded.

“I’m sorry,” you said, quickly, gulping hard. “I’m fine, let’s watch a movie, okay?” you stated, quickly changing the subject as you turned to put your empty plate into the sink.

What you couldn’t see was Gentaro’s gaze lingering on your back, his hand still outstretched to you.

--

00:04:03:17:59:02

0 years, 4 months, 3 days, 17 hours, 59 minutes, 2 seconds.

“It’s way too hot,” you groaned, letting the cold air of the fridge cool you down as much as possible. You heard a chuckle from behind you as arms wrapped themselves around your waist. You whined at the touch and shuffled away from your boyfriend, sneaking closer to the fridge.

“No cuddles. Too hot,” you stated, bluntly.

Gentaro chuckled and pressed his lips to your cheek.

“You’re being mean, love,” he said, standing up slowly to go to the sink for water. You shook your head and stared into the now empty fridge, wondering if there was any way in the world you could possibly fit inside of it. You wiped sweat away from your forehead and as you did, noticed the shine of your soulmate timer. You glanced down at it with a sigh to see that you only had a few months left to go.

It didn’t make any sense. You were the happiest you had ever been in your life.

You and Gentaro had been dating for almost year now and it was everything you could have possibly wanted. It was nerve-wrecking at first with awkward words and touches from your end, but somehow Gentaro always knew exactly what to say and what to do.

He had an impeccable sense of your desires and seemed to know what you needed before you did yourself. When you had a bad day, you would come home to dinner waiting for you. When you had good news, he would somehow have brought home dessert ‘just because he felt like it’.

He was your hand to hold when you were nervous and your rock when you were scared. He was your best friend and the man you held so many feelings for, that if you thought about them too much, you were convinced you would explode.

So, what was this silly timer? Who was this other person that was supposedly going to come in and sweep you away from the man you truly believed you loved? How could there be anyone else that made you feel as safe and happy as Gentaro did?

“I got these for you,” Gentaro said, sitting down next to you and handing you a cold drink. You blinked at it for a moment before looking at him in confusion.

“Did you get these just now?” you asked, wondering how long you had been spacing out for. Gentaro laughed and shook his head.

“No, silly,” he said, tapping your forehead gently and teasing you. “I put them in the freezer a while ago because I knew it would be cold and that you would want some.”

You stared down at the can in his hand and took it from him with a pout, shooing his hand away from your face.

“Stop making it sound like I’m so needy,” you muttered, causing Gentaro to laugh once more and lean over to kiss your nose.

“You are needy,” he teased, dodging your hand as you reached out to smack him, but lost the energy to do so. “But you’re also a gorgeous, stunning maiden whose kindness and strength knows no bounds.”

You glanced at him with confusion at his words and saw his look melt into one of dramatic reverence as he looked off into the distance. You rolled your eyes but smiled as you leaned into his shoulder.

“Stop it,” you whined in a low voice, exhausted from the summer heat. Gentaro hummed and rested his head against yours.

“Never,”

--

00:00:00:00:05:46

0 years, 0 months, 0 days, 0 hours, 5 minutes, 46 seconds.

“Let me go,” you said, your voice low and breaking. You had one hand on the door handle and were staring down at your timer that was rapidly ticking down.

“Please,” Gentaro begged, tightened his grasp on your arm. “Please don’t leave, Y/N.”

His voice was shaking and you could feel the hurt and pain lacing each of his words. You felt the guilt punch you in the stomach, knowing that you were entirely to blame for this.

You were so confused and you didn’t know what to do. With less than five minutes left, you knew you had to leave the apartment. It didn’t matter how cold it was outside, you had to be somewhere you could meet someone.

How would your soulmate find you if you were locked up in your house?

“You don’t understand, Gentaro,” you hurriedly hissed at him, pulling his hand away from your arm. “I need to find out who my soulmate is! I need to know, I can’t not know!”

The room was spinning now. Everything hurt and nothing made sense. Were you supposed to be here? Where else were you supposed to go? Would they find you here? Were you still breathing?

“But it’s your soulmate! It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend or a lover or anything else; it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do, right?!” Gentaro pleaded, reading your mind once more as his voice cracked from the pain he was obviously in. “They’ll find you wherever you are so please, don’t leave, Y/N!” he begged once more, tears beginning to build in his eyes. “Just stay.”

You could barely see him through the haze of water in your own eyes, but you acutely felt your heart break in your chest at his words. Your head felt like it was about to burst with thoughts racing desperately, any one of them hoping to connect.

Why were you hurting him like this?

“If I stay here, nothing will happen. Don’t you get that?” you cried in desperation. “I’ll never know my soulmate and then - ”

“What? You’ll be stuck with me for the rest of your life? Is that it?” Gentaro asked as a tear rolled down his cheek. You bit back a sob as you shook your head violently.

“No, of course not, that’s not it at all! I just…I need to find…” you tried to look for the right words to convey how you felt, but your mind was jumbled and time was running out.

“You don’t need to find anyone else!” Gentaro shouted, causing you to shoot your gaze towards him in shock. He rarely ever raised his voice and hearing him do so only made the sob from your mouth and tears from your eyes feel that much more pathetic.

“Gentaro, I have to – ”

“You don’t have to do anything! Because nobody else will ever feel the way I feel about you, Y/N!” he cried, bringing his hands to your shoulders and holding you tightly. You looked up at him through tear filled eyes and shook your head in confusion and frustration.

“I don’t know what – ”

“Because I love you!”

As soon as the words left his mouth, it was as though time stood still.

The room seemed to disappear around you and in that moment it was only you and Gentaro, sobbing into each other’s arms. The silence was deafening, but was quickly filled by the sound of your rapidly beating heart. The burning in your chest reminded you to breathe and as soon as you gasped, which came out as a sob, it was like you had been dropped back down to reality.

You were clinging to Gentaro’s chest now and he had his arms wrapped around you so tightly you felt like you would break. You were both crying hard, tears soaking every surface that came into contact with your face. You tried to speak but your voice was caught in your throat, only letting out guttural sounds and desperate cries as you held onto Gentaro for dear life.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” you cried into his chest, shaking in his arms. Gentaro’s hair fell into your face, tickling your cheeks as you felt him shake his head.

“I should be the one who’s sorry,” he muttered, his voice light and barely audible. “I’ve loved you for so long. I should have known you were my soulmate right from the start.”

You bowed your head as you hesitantly brought your wrist up to your gaze, staring down at the zeroes.  

He was right – it had always been him.

It was never a countdown to meet the love of your life.

It was merely a countdown until the moment your soulmate proclaimed their love for you.

--

00:00:00:00:00:00

0 years, 0 months, 0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds.

“It’s going to be terrifying.”

“It’s going to be amazing,” Gentaro corrected you, pulling you into his arms and kissing you firmly on the lips. You shook your head at his antics, pushing him away as you turned back to the multiple cakes laid out in front of you.

“You like the chocolate one, don’t you? Number 3?” Gentaro said. You nodded, reaching out to your plate to grab some frosting with your finger before bringing it to your mouth.

“How do you always know exactly what I’m thinking?” you asked, humming happily.

“What can I say? My fiancée has good taste,” he hummed, tapping your nose with his frosting covered finger. You squealed in delight but whined his name as you hurriedly wiped your face.

You reveled in the sweet sound of Gentaro’s laughter as he wrapped his hands around your stomach from behind, pressing another kiss to your cheek. You leaned back into him and let him kiss you lovingly, a smile playing on your lips.

“I love you so much,” he whispered into your neck. You glanced down at him and nodded, lifting his head up by placing a finger under his chin so that his face was level with yours.

“I love you too, my wonderful soulmate.”

--

A/N: Y/N’s soulmate tracker was a countdown was a timer until her soulmate proclaimed their love to her. Gentaro’s soulmate tracker was that he was empathically linked to Y/N.

[purplesurveys]

1236

survey by lasertine

10 How's

How did you get one of your scars? I keep recounting the story of my eyebrow scar, so I’ll share something else...I have several scars on both my knees since I was the neighborhood’s clumsiest kid and ALWAYS tripped/stumbled when I played outside. I used to be extremely insecure of my legs, but started to stop caring as I gradually noticed that no one really gives a shit about scars from childhood accidents.

How did you celebrate your last birthday? I went to work, being the workaholic I am. I only celebrated in the evening, when I bought a week’s worth of food for my family and I to feast on. I was honestly fine with it; it was exactly how I wanted my birthday to go as I’ve stopped wanting to make a big deal out of it haha.

How are you feeling at this moment? Weirdly relaxed for a Sunday. The gloomy and cozy weather is probably helping with that.

How did your night go last night? As a fangirl, good! Got lots of new content which is always fun. As a person (lol), it was just fine. I like being able to recharge on weekends and I can never really complain even if I don’t end up doing anything productive.

How did you do in high school? I was a bit all over the place. I exerted some level of effort in my favorite classes but didn’t really do the same for subjects I didn’t care for as much, like home ec, chemistry, math, etc; but on average I managed to get good grades all throughout. Overall, I kinda acknowledged very early on that high school grades weren’t going to matter in the real world so I didn’t make it a point to overexert myself and just focused on having fun and making fond memories in those teen years.

How did you get the shirt you're wearing? I got it from Artwork, a local brand that sells various apparel sporting designs produced by local artists. The branch I got it from has since shut down but I believe the brand is still alive and well.

How often do you see your best friend? I used to see Angela once in a blue moon mainly because our schedules always clashed back when we were still students, but ever since forming our little Army friend group with Reena I’ve been seeing her nearly every week.

How much money did you spend last month? LOL June was actually my worst and most shameful performance when it came to spending...let’s move on...

How old do you want to be when you get married? Kinda happen it would happen by the time I’m in between the ages of 28 and 30, kind of losing hope on it.

How old will you be at your next birthday? 24.

NINE What’s

What is the most important part of your life? I’ve said this several times but it’s really work. I’m aware of my weaknesses at my job and I want nothing more than to improve on those just because my perfectionist ass can’t bear being bad at something I’m supposed to be contributing to lol.

What did you do last weekend? Last Saturday I  watched BTS’ concert in Sao Paulo and had my first session at my Korean class. Last Sunday I mostly chilled at home but I also went to Starbucks to work for a bit but to also just relax before the week started.

What did you last cry over? Watching Angela and Reena’s graduation ceremony this afternoon. It’s hilarious because I didn’t even cry during and was mostly indifferent towards my own grad, but I surprised myself by breaking into tears while watching theirs. I’m guessing the emotions simply welled up from me being very grateful for our friendship, which formed when I needed it the most.

What are you worried about? I always get Monday anxiety on Sundays, so let’s go with that.

What is your mother’s name? Abby.

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? BTS, for one.

What would you rather be doing? It’s not a matter of what I would rather be doing, but where I would rather be. And right now, I wish I was back on a Friday evening with the weekend just about to start.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Patience.

What did you have for breakfast? My mom cooked up a feast for today’s breakfast for no reason - we had fried rice, tocino, I think bangus(?) and if not bangus then it was some other kind of fish, corned beef, cheese omelette, glazed ham, bacon strips, and the leftover chicken wings from last night’s dinner.

EIGHT Have You’s

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? I probably do something of the sort at least once a day.

Have you ever had sex on the beach? No. I think I might feel uncomfortable doing so, even if you told me it would be a private beach lol. 

Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend? Yes.

Have you ever been out of the country? Yup, but it’s been a while. :( I haven’t traveled abroad since 2016.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you? It barely counts; she was only like a month and half younger.

Have you ever liked someone who already had somebody? That hasn’t happened.

Have you ever been brokenhearted? Of course.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Many times.

SEVEN Who’s:

Who is the last person you saw? My dad. He was watching the evening news in his room when I heard the report playing Permission to Dance so I rushed in there to see what the news was going to be about, hahahaha.

Who is the last person that you texted? ...also my dad. I was just asking him where he was since I had been craving chapaguri the other day and was gonna request if he can quickly pass by the Korean mart near our village. He never replied so I just cooked the instant noodles that we have at home, which in hindsight was I guess for the better because at least I got to save the money I would’ve paid him with.

Who called you last? The Lalamove driver I mentioned on the previous survey.

Who is the last person you hung out with? Angela, Reena, and Hans.

Who did you hug last? Angela, right before I left from her place last Tuesday.

Who is the last person that texted you? Not sure.

Who was the las person you said "I love you" to? Yumi, when I congratulated her on her graduation post.

SIX Where’s:

Where does your best friend live? The city next to mine.

Where is your favorite place to be? Either a coffee shop or our rooftop.

Where did you sleep last night? My bed.

Where did you last hang out? Mega with the three aforementioned friends.

Where do/did you go to school? UP.

Where did you last adventure to? ...Mega. So repetitive hahaha but I don’t really go out much these days for obvious reasons.

FIVE Do’s/Does:

Do you ever wish you were someone else? Not someone else in particular but I will sometimes daydream about having a different reality/situation, like being able to play an instrument or being more capable of affording more things.

Do you think anyone despises you? Possibly.

Do you like someone right now? Nopes.

Does the future scare you? It doesn’t scare me so much as it’s increasingly starting to make me feel lonelier whenever I start thinking about it.

Do you have any secret powers? Erm, no.

FOUR Why’s:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? They’ve both been there through the thick and the thin and the ugly with me and have never once left my side.

Why did your parents give you the name you have? As for both my names, they just liked the sound of them.

Why did you get a myspace? Because I noticed it was popular and I wanted to see what the fuss was about.

Why are you doing this survey? Countdown surveys are always a fun format.

THREE If’s:

If you could have one super power what would it be? Time travel.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? If it comes down to it, as irresistible as it seems, probably not.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Somewhere with winter/snow.

Two Would-you-ever’s:

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? I’m struggling to think how that can action save someone, but I guess if it ever does boil down to it then yeah, in a heartbeat. It grows back and if the situation was that drastic, hair would be the least of my concerns.

Would you ever get back together with any of your exes if they asked you? Depends.

Last one:

Are you happy with how your life has turned out? Very.