#the immortals are a bit stupid because they are too old
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qwimblenorrisstan · 4 months ago
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Just This Once | Cassian x Witch!Reader
Summary: After a witch has been discovered in Windhaven, Cassian has been sent to bring the creature back, and ‘domesticate’ her, according to Rhys. It proves a difficult task, but he soon discovers that you aren’t as ‘strong and independent’ as you seem.
Word Count: ~4.6k
Warnings: Mentions of death, blades, fighting, basically kidnapping, past trauma, light angst, but happy endings with snuggles.
A/N: got carried away with this bc it was originally just the fighting scene and I decided to flesh it out some…lmk if you want a part two, hope you enjoy <3
Requests are open!
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When Cassian had heard the news of disappearances in the Illyrian Steppes, he expected the usual, the ancient beasts that lurked in the woods getting a bit too bold or hungry. It didn’t happen often, but when powerful Illyrian males were gone without a trace, taken during the night with only the barest signs of a struggle…what the hell else could it be?
Or at least, that’s what he’d thought until he’d been summoned to Windhaven by Devlon, who seemed a bit too eager for him to arrive. That was the first sign that something was wrong. He and Devlon shared a very mutual hatred for each other, mixed with only a teaspoon of respect.
Everything began making more sense as he strode into the camp, or more accurately his entire theory on the beasts shattered to pieces as soon as he entered the center of the camp and saw you in the center.
“Your blood will pay for this,”
You hissed, iron nails on full display as you were held down by multiple males, most of which had deep claw marks on their skin, only clotting because of their immortal blood. As soon as his gaze locked with yours, he heard the snapping clang sound as your metal teeth slammed down, and bared at him.
He’d heard rumors, sure, old folktales and rumors of creatures like you, but in all his centuries of blood, gore, and horror, he had never actually come into contact with a witch, let alone one from the Ironteeth Clans. As much as he would love to believe he hadn’t seen a thing, that you were just some other random creature he could kill and be done with it, those nails, dripping with Illyrian blood, and your teeth, caked with it….
Mother above, he needed to tell Rhys about this. A witch, let alone an Ironteeth witch, in Illyria, killing men and devouring them under the cover of night. But for now, he needed to deal with this, a temporary solution…
*********************************************************
You were pissed, but not surprised.
The males in this village were quite stupid, but even the dumbest of creatures would eventually notice that they were being picked off one by one. The worst part? They had played you like a fool, setting up one lonesome male as bait, and luring you in before trapping her.
You thrashed and hissed, clawing at the males who were stupid enough to loosen their grip on your wrists, and as soon as their skin was punctured they shoved you to the ground again. One of them finally had the wisdom to push you onto your stomach, their knee pushing down on your back to keep you down.
From your limited sight, you could see one particularly large male talking to who looked like the overseer of this camp, Devlon, the other males here had called him. They seemed to be in heated debate, before with a huff, the overseer reluctantly seemed to agree with something. He barked out orders to some of them, and the next thing you knew, they had restrained and grabbed you, dragging your writhing body somewhere, and then you were thrown into a pitch-black room, a door slamming behind you and twisting with what sounded like a locking mechanism.
You were immediately on your feet, feeling around for any sign of an escape route, your eyes easily adjusting to the darkness. It was a small cell of sorts, made of stone and sturdy, no matter how you pounded and banged against the walls, they showed no sign of relenting.
And so you were trapped, at the mercy of your prey.
*********************************************************
“You’re telling me that there’s a witch in Windhaven that’s been eating the males?”
Rhys’ doubtful and exasperated tone didn’t surprise him. He knew his brother only had the best intentions, and being High Lord wasn’t exactly an easy job.
“Yes, I’m telling you, I saw her nails and - gods, she had iron teeth, Rhys! They put her in a cell to hold her for now, but what the hell are we supposed to do?”
Cassian said, his voice frenzied and just as confused as Devlon had seemed. What were they even supposed to do to a witch? The Illyrians would want it killed as a retribution for the males they lost, but then they could have an entire coven of angry, pissed-off witches looking for blood. Gods, this was a mess.
“Bring her here.”
Rhys then said, his tone cautiously neutral. He had his scheming face on, a plan already forming in that clever head of his.
“What?”
“Bring her here. We can put her on a watch, and keep her under our control. Then we’d have a bargaining chip if any other witches show up.”
“This is a bloodthirsty witch, Rhys, not a pawn in your political games. She might hurt someone, or-“
“Then domesticate her. I’ve no doubt you’re the person for it.”
He said with an infuriatingly dismissive wave of his hand, his eyes going back to the paperwork on his desk. Sometimes he wondered if Rhys was genius or stupid, and this was a very large gamble. With a huff, Cassian relented.
“Fine. Where are we going to keep her?”
He asked, an annoyed frown already forming on his face.
“The House.”
“You’re putting a witch in the House of Wind?”
“Yes. Get going, you have a witch to transport.”
He stared in disbelief for a moment as Rhys, shaking his head and muttering under his breath stormed out of the office, shutting the door behind him, bordering on slamming it. Outside, he was met with Azriel leaning against the wall by the door, clearly waiting his turn to go inside, and also eavesdropping.
“Seriously, Az, can you believe this? Give me some backup here-“
Azriel shook his head simply, going to walk into the office. He looked over Cassian once, then spoke.
“Good luck.”
He said, not even a hint of pity in his voice. The bastard. It was Cassian against the world today, apparently.
His mind already running to thoughts of how this witch would probably gut him in his sleep, if not while he was awake just to enjoy making him suffer, he walked outside and took off for Windhaven.
*********************************************************
The world went from dark stone floors to dusty dirt ground before you could even realize it. They were dragging you again. At least they had the sense to tie you up, even if you could easily shred through them with your iron nails though you kept them retracted.
This time, you were dragged towards the male who’d been talking with Devlon. The males seemed to hate him, it was obvious in their scents, but they held a certain begrudging respect and even a hint of fear of him.
His eyes were a warm hazel, and he had a rugged handsome look about him, just enough stubble to not be too much, his hair shoulder length and dark, tied back. He had quite the muscular build as well, a few scars, and he reeked of annoyance as you were nearly thrown at him.
He grabbed you by the ties around your wrists, inspecting them and knowing that it wouldn’t stop a creature like you, born of darkness and inhuman strength.
“You are coming with me, and you are going to behave.”
His rough voice thundered out. The other males watched, some eager to see a fight break out between you and him. You laughed, a raspy, amused laugh.
“I will behave how I see fit.”
You replied your voice nearly a hiss. You were parched, your throat dry as a desert. Witches didn’t bow to the likes of anyone or anything, and she would not bow to this male. A Blackbeak bowed to no one, a statement carved into her very soul.
“Unless you want me to rip those pretty iron parts out, I’d suggest behaving well.”
He said, looking wholly unamused and unthreatened by you. A threat to a witch’s iron teeth and nails was something that couldn’t go unpunished. But now wasn’t the time, and she knew that despite the snarl that ripped through her throat.
The male forced her to walk beside him, and without warning, his wings flapped powerfully and he took off, cutting through the sky while adjusting her to be loosely held in his arms. An intimidation tactic, most likely, his loose grip a threat that he would drop her if she put up any fight.
It worked.
*********************************************************
Cassian wasn’t sure what he’d expected from the witch once in the air, but she was putting up less fight than he’d expected.
The wind howled past his ears, creating that tunnel-like feel he was all too used to. His wings pounded against the wind, carrying the both of you to Night Court, where he was supposed to willingly let a witch live with him and Azriel. He still hated that, and he probably would forever.
You seemed oddly mesmerized by the wind, as if it also sang to your blood, urging you to go higher and higher like it always did with him, carrying him away in a flurry of instincts.
Well, at least you hadn’t tried to attack him. Yet.
Only minutes later, he was landing at the front of the House of Wind. He could see the surprise in your golden eyes, sharp and cunning, at the sheer height of the House. It wasn’t shocking, as it was up a 10,000-step staircase.
He jutted his chin in the direction of the House, walking inside.
“The House is sentient, it’ll give you everything you need, and nothing more.”
You seemed amused by that, huffing out a humorless laugh.
“A self-serving house, perfect for your soft-hearted race.”
Your voice said, raspy and mocking, an irritating smirk on your face, despite him having the upper hand. He growled at the insult, his wings flaring in irritation.
“Watch it, or I’ll show you just how soft-hearted we can be.”
He snapped, immediately regretting it as your smirk widened. You wanted a reaction, you were feeding off of them and he was supplying you with them.
“I’d love to see what an overgrown bat can do on the battlefield. Flap aggressively at the enemy? Terrifying, truly.”
You retorted, at which he turned to you and snarled again.
“You and I are going to have some problems, I can already tell. If you’re so eager to get your ass handed to you, then you can wake up bright and early, and we can work this out the traditional way.”
He snarled, and you looked utterly ecstatic at the possibility of fighting him that he regretted that offer too. He wasn’t too good with being threatening, especially when you seemed to love the concept of fighting, which was standard for a witch, he decided.
“Gladly. See you in the morning, bastard.”
You drawled, one handful of iron nails suddenly sliding out and scraping lightly over his leathers as you walked past him. The comment made him stiffen. How had you known he was a bastard? You could’ve overheard it in the camps, but still…
*********************************************************
The House thrummed with an ancient power, a sentient one according to the big Illyrian brute.
Witches operated by many beliefs and rules, but one of the biggest beliefs was that males were useful for two things only, rutting and food. Which was why you didn’t care much for him, and certainly didn’t respect him whatsoever no matter who he was or why.
The House led her down one of the many hallways. You could smell someone else here, someone who reeked of shadows and darkness, but stayed hidden, only watching quietly. The shadows seemed to move unnaturally here. You snarled at them, feeling idiotic for growling at nothing, but your iron teeth came clamping down over the normal ones in an instant.
The feeling of being watched remained, despite that, so you only left those hallways and hurried to the room that the House provided her.
It was spacious and comfortable, with a bathroom attached. The floor was a recognizable wood pattern, the bed having the same silky sheets and burgundy blanket as the one you’d laid in so many years ago before everything had fallen apart and fractured into pieces. The room held pieces of your past that the House shouldn’t even be able to know about.
It creeped you out to no end, and as you’d expected, the bathroom was the same. Recognizable. Spot on to the home you’d once shared with that male so many years ago, that had been the beginning of the end for your happy life.
You searched the room for any weapons, only finding one old knife under her pillow, the knife you had been forced to leave behind.
And so you curled up in the bed, and closing your eyes, willing your body and mind to relax despite the suspicions and questions that haunted you, you fell asleep.
*********************************************************
Cassian was starting to regret challenging you the other day.
You had shown up for breakfast, looking pissy about having to wear the Illyrian leathers, the only clothes in the room’s closet, instead of normal witch attire. The material squeezed you just right in all the best places, especially your thighs….it was distracting him more than he liked to admit, his self-control was waning and you weren’t even one day into training with him.
“What is this shit?”
You asked in a harsh tone at the breakfast he’d asked the House to provide you. It was a healthy, balanced meal, he ate the same dish, but larger to accommodate for his size.
“Breakfast.”
He replied simply, still chewing a mouthful of his food. She scoffed, and after a minute of pure silence from her, another plate popped onto the table, as well as a glass. A plate of meats and a glass of finely aged blood. He shot you a glare, before sighing and taking another bite of his food as you began digging into yours.
You were insufferable, he knew that for sure.
At least you are your breakfast quickly, that was a mercy, letting him drag you out onto the training fields quicker.
“Follow my le-“
He said before you cut him off.
“No. I don’t want your flimsy training.”
You practically hissed at him. He was getting fed up with you, both annoyed and attracted at the same time until he couldn’t tell which was which.
And so, he took his shirt off and began his stretches, slowly working his muscles up and back to life in a rhythmic manner. You seemed to do the same, however you had your routine of stretches that seemed like second nature to you, until your body was worked up and sweating, just like his.
When you were both finished, he turned to face you, sword in hand as the light gleamed off of his muscular body. He gave a lazy smirk, confident and sure of himself and his abilities.
“Ready, princess?”
He asked, knowing full well how angry the nickname would make you.
Your iron nails shot out, sharpened to a lethal point, as your iron teeth clamped down. You gave a wild, wolffish grin to him, the kind that made his knees go weak, before charging straight at him.
He knew from the moment the combat started that he’d underestimated you. You were a force of nature, iron gleaming, a glittering whirlwind of death as you immediately advanced, already circling him, going to strike.
He was on his feet, prepared for anything as his blade remained steady in his hands, his body automatically taking a defensive stance. He blocked, iron meeting iron with a metallic clang as you moved again, faster than you should’ve been able to move, your blow harder than it should’ve been able to be.
This dance of death continued, speeding up and gaining traction until you were both blurs of skin and iron meeting against each other. A third person remained, one that both of you were too engrossed in the sparring to notice.
The shadowsinger.
He watched as you got frighteningly close to Cassian’s jugular, only to be met with a blow to the ribs, bloodthirsty as you were, it barely seemed to affect you as you were on your feet and attacking again. You were overloading Cassian almost, your speed unmatched, and only his pure skill in combat kept him equal with you.
It was a beautifully frightening thing to watch, but after what was nearly forty-five minutes, you somehow managed to find a lapse in Cassian’s defense and struck him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him as he was then shoved and pinned against the ground, sharp iron held steadily against his skin.
“I win.”
You said with a nearly feral grin, clearly very happy that you’d won, and only stroking your ego further because of it. Cassian grumbled something, pushing you off of him and getting up, dusting himself off. You both would have bruises in the morning if not a few healing cuts.
“Where did you learn to fight like that?”
He demanded an answer. In all his centuries, he’d never seen a fighting style like that. Free and wild but kept just enough under strict control that it was devastating to anyone unlucky enough to face it.
“My coven taught me, Blackbeaks all learn to fight, but that was before..”
You said, the first part glimmering with pride, but trailing off, before you shook your head and dismissed it. He noticed but was quickly distracted by another of your comments.
“See? I am better than you.”
She said with a cocky iron grin, finally letting her metallic nails and teeth slide back up and out of sight as she let her ponytail down. The blatant insult made his wings twitch, but before he could snap and say something, Azriel entered the ring.
“I wasn’t aware witches had their own fighting style.”
His quiet but firm and steady voice spoke out. It seemed like he’d just stumbled upon them, ready for his morning training, despite him having been watching for nearly an hour. You gave a sharp grin and a nod, though a bit of curiosity lingered behind your gaze. He was the one she’d noticed watching her last night.
“Would you mind sparring with me?”
*********************************************************
You’d gotten your ass beat by Azriel.
Cassian had been shouting and encouraging him from leaning against some of the railings, watching as Azriel managed to somehow both outmaneuver and outspeed you, a witch.
It was humiliating, but he never once made fun of you (though Cassian seemed the opposite). A Blackbeak wasn’t supposed to lose, losing wasn’t an option for a witch. But maybe…maybe it was fine, just this once, just to learn from this mysterious figure who’d been watching her.
Cassian and Azriel then took a turn at each other, and Azriel (unsurprisingly) won, at which he went back inside and off to his office to get paperwork and whatnot done, or whatever poor excuse he’d had to leave you and Cassian alone after seeing the tension between you two.
“Az really handed your ass to you, huh?”
He asked with a smirk, walking inside the House as it provided another meal for the both of you. You rolled your eyes and spoke.
“What even is he? He doesn’t smell normal, or look it for that matter.”
You then asked, drawing attention away from your embarrassing ass beating as you dug in.
“A shadowsinger, he controls the shadows ‘n shit, uses them as his little spies. He’s quiet, but we love ‘im.”
He said with a shrug, before catching onto her changing the subject and grinning with his mouth full.
“No, no, I still want to talk about how bad you were beat out there. You’re a witch, isn’t your job to…y’know, kill males and eat them or whatever?”
That struck a nerve, he realized a bit too late, as you snarled at him.
“Shut it. The only thing you males are good for is rutting and feeding, anyway.”
His eyebrows rose in both amusement and surprise. Was that what witches believed?
“Easy, princess, what’s got you so mad? Other than the obvious.”
You angrily chewed and swallowed a bite of meat, sighing before replying in a snappy tone.
“Blackbeaks aren’t supposed to lose. You win or you die, that’s how it’s always been, and I just…”
“You can’t win everything, you know?”
“But I should. I have to. That’s what I’ve always done, and I don’t see why I’m not doing it anymore now.”
“Who says?”
“The Matrons, the Covens…every single other witch to exist..?”
He sighed, putting his fork down with a clatter and looking you dead in your golden eyes.
“Are you sure they’re right? Because it sounds to me like you’ve just been blindly following without thinking at all.”
Your nostrils flared. He knew it had been a risky thing to say. You stood up, fist slamming into the table.
“How dare you question the Matrons? You have no right-“
“Do I, or is that just what you’ve been told to believe?”
That made you shut up for a moment.
It made you shut up, and most importantly, it made you think for the first time in a good while. You had always been told that you were a witch, a Blackbeak, heartless, soulless, and hated by everyone and thing in this wretched world. Things had always been so clear, and you’d been happy to obey, because who wouldn’t?
Things were easy when you just had to follow. When you didn’t have to make your own decisions or pick and choose, when you were told everything from the start, and that was that. It was easy when you were already shaped into what they had wanted from the beginning, so you didn’t have to go through the ache of growing into your own person.
Being told what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and everything except why was so dangerously easy.
And you’d been a fool, blindly following this entire time.
Cassian watched you just silently stand there, looking conflicted, before you slowly sat back down, studying him with a scrutinizing gaze.
You swallowed, trying to find your voice to at least just say something, to ask one of the millions of questions in your mind.
“You..weren’t told what to believe? How to think and act and feel?”
You asked, the hint of vulnerability in your demeanor making his heart ache. His expression almost softened.
“No, not like you were. I do things because I want to do them, or need to, not because that’s what I think I’m supposed to do.”
He explained, his brusque voice now calmer than ever when speaking to you. Explaining self-autonomy to you, a powerful being who could easily control their body in battle, but not their mind, always told what to do and how and when was strange, to say the least.
“How?”
You then asked, your voice cracking slightly, confusion tainting its usually stern tone. How could someone just do things for the sake of doing them, or because they wanted to? Did they not have rules here for these Fae? Was control and respect for those more powerful, not a thing here?
“Just…try doing the first thing that comes to your mind. What do you want to do right now?”
He asked, at which you swallowed, wracking your brain. What did you want to do? Cry. Sit here and cry like a baby until you can’t cry anymore, spill out every one of your secrets and feelings and thoughts to this male who had bothered to look past your exterior. And so you did.
*********************************************************
Cassian was very surprised when you just started bawling at the dinner table out of nowhere, but a smaller, wiser, and more instinctual part of him had known.
He immediately abandoned his seat, moving to your side before hesitating and wondering what he was doing. This was a witch. A dangerous, bloodthirsty female could be faking this just to get him close or lower his guard.
But most importantly, this was a female who was upset, vulnerable, crying, and needing any form of comfort, and if he wasn’t that comfort then who would be?
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
He asked, gently lifting you into his arms, carrying you over to the couch where he sat down, you in his lap, and began shushing and reassuring you, one hand running soothingly against your back, his head on top of yours. You started babbling a story so quickly that he could barely catch the majority of it.
“My coven, they left me there, because I had a human lover, and he’d killed a witch before. They found him and they..they,”
You hiccuped and sobbed, crying against his chest, almost weeping. He felt more than just a pang of anger that your coven would abandon you in the Illyrian Steppes alone, all because you’d taken a human lover who had a history with witches. He could only imagine what they’d done to the poor man. He tried to ignore the pang of jealousy he felt at the thought of you with another man.
“It’s alright, let it out.”
He murmured in a soothing tone, hoping it was helping. At this point, he was so far gone that he would do anything to make you stop crying, and stop hurting. And maybe his advice of doing whatever first came to your twisted mind hadn’t been the greatest, because as soon as you stopped crying, sniffling, and trembling in his arms, you gently cupped his cheek, and as if the world was moving in slow motion, kissed him.
Fireworks went off through his entire body, all his nerves responding immediately, and he understood now why he’d been so worried and comforting for you, why he’d cared for you.
Mate.
The bond between them chanted, and based on the way your eyes widened and you began crying anew, he assumed you felt it too. He couldn’t pull away from the kiss, not now, and not anytime in the foreseeable future.
His body seemed to move on autopilot as he carried your trembling form down the halls to his bedroom, still relatively empty despite the many years of living in it.
His head told him this was too early, that you didn’t know what you were doing and only were reacting to the first male you had an attraction to, or any other reason it could spew. And he knew it was right. You needed time to sort this out, to figure yourself out, but he could be there to help piece you back together until you were whole and yourself, no one else’s to indoctrinate or enslave or command any longer.
He didn’t try to push his luck, not as he closed his door behind him, laid you down onto his bed, and stripped down to his boxers before laying down with you, holding you.
His wings wrapped around your body as he whispered sweet nothings, reassurances, and comforting words. His arms came to hold you in their strong embrace, the blanket warm and covering the both of you, the darkness of the room enveloping you. Behind that fierce, free witch with the sharpest of iron teeth and claws, was a traumatized female afraid to lose anyone else, too afraid to decide what path she wanted for herself without her past haunting her.
His forehead pressed against yours, his body almost like a furnace it was so warm, keeping your shaking one almost too warm. A reminder of the male you'd once held dear, but you wouldn't lose Cassian. Not like you'd already lost so many before. Your mate.
Just this once, you would savor this.
Or maybe, just maybe, just this eternity with your mate.
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after-witch · 1 year ago
Text
Horrorfest: And Be Immortal [Yandere Dabi x Reader]
Title: And Be Immortal [Yandere Dabi x Reader]
Synopsis: "I think I'm being haunted," you say. "By the ghost of my dead best friend."
For Horrorfest request:
Dabi with the movie Candyman?
Word Count: 1084
notes: yandere, implied kidnapping
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“I think I’m being haunted.” 
The words come out so fast that you’re not entirely sure that your friend heard them at first, until she gives you a look that is a mixture of pity, confusion  and--maybe you’re imagining it--curiosity. 
“By my best friend’s ghost,” you continue, when she doesn’t say anything. You stumble a bit over the words, realizing how crazy it sounds, how out-there. Especially to your friend who has never given so much as an inkling that she believes in anything remotely supernatural. 
“He died when we were younger--there was a fire, and…” 
You shake your head, unwilling to go further. 
Your friend reaches out, touches your arm. When you look up, she’s got the softest, kindest expression on her face. A smile, subtle and warm, with a twitch of knowing anxiety behind it.
“I know something that might help.”
--
You wake up, breath hitching, sweat covering the back of your head, making your hair and pillowcase damp and uncomfortably warm. 
--
“All you have to do is say their name in the mirror three times,” your friend told you. “And they will appear to you.” She paused. “You could try to get closure. Or at least know that you’re not crazy.” She laughed a little, but the sound didn’t match her expression. 
It was your turn to look confused--and curious.
“My neighbor had a problem with a ghost,” she clarified. You stared, and she bit her lip. “And… so did I, once.”
You frowned. She had never mentioned it, not even once. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Your friend shrugged.
“You probably wouldn’t have believed me back then.”
You said nothing, because she was probably right on that count. You didn’t really believe in ghosts yourself until a few weeks ago. 
That was when it all started--the haunting. 
Items missing from your apartment, treasured things. Your old stuffed bear. A photo of you and Touya as children, and that hurt the most, because it was the only one you still had. 
Your mother had misplaced your photo album before you moved out, but this one, the one you kept in a frame on your bookshelf, had been spared. Admittedly, the photo frame had gotten dusty, but so had other things from your childhood.
And now it was gone. Who would take it? Not some petty thief. Nothing valuable was missing. Just your personal treasures, and trinkets.
And then there were the noises. Footsteps in the night. The sound of a cupboard opening and shutting in the morning, before you got out of bed; sometimes they were left open, and your fingers twitched while you shut them.
And… you swear, you swear this is true, you began to get the distinct feeling that you were being watched. During the night, and then during the day. While you tried to sleep. While you showered. While you ate what simple meals you threw together, unable to focus much on cooking or shopping as time went on.
If what your friend told you is true, maybe you can get some closure. 
Maybe you can ask Touya to stop haunting you. 
Maybe you can tell him you’re sorry.
--
This isn’t going to work. It can’t work. It’s stupid. It’s crazy. You’re crazy.
You take a breath, then another. You’re just anxious. You’re just… frayed.
Nothing will happen, probably, and you’ll realize that this has all just been some walking fever dream, the end-result of too much stress from university and your job and all the villain attacks in the area. Your mind has clearly retreated to the last time you felt understood, safe, comfortable; aching for the hole left by the loss of your best friend, a hole that could never be filled no matter how much dirt you tried to shovel into it.
Your fingers fumble with the matches in the darkness of the bathroom. You were tempted to leave the door open, but your friend was clear on that count: it needs to be as dark as possible when you complete the ritual. 
There’s the telltale sound of the match strike, the faint scent of sulfur. And then the match is lit and you quickly hold it down towards the tea candles you set up on the bathroom counter. When they’re lit, the bathroom is less dim, but no less frightening. If anything, the flickering candlelight bouncing off the walls gives the room (and your reflection) a strangeness that makes your chest tighten.  
Just… do it. Do it and get it over with, and if nothing happens, then you can call a therapist to work through your clearly ongoing grief and stress issues. But if it does work, then maybe… maybe.
You exhale, closing your lips a little, and look straight into the mirror. 
“Touya… Touya… Touya.”
A moment, then another. Then another. 
But the reflection in the mirror doesn’t change. There is no rippling, no blurring, no appearance of the ghost of your dead friend. Nothing at all, except your own tired face and the flickering yellow-orange light of candles. 
A low ache blooms in your chest. What were you expecting? That his ghost would show up in the mirror and forgive you for not being there for him, forgive you for letting his picture get dusty, forgive you for living the life he never did? 
You scoff at yourself, at the ember-lit reflection in the mirror.
And then the bathroom door behind you creaks open, and every nerve in your body stands on edge.
The reflection in the mirror does change, then. Not replacing yours but showing a figure standing behind you. Not just a figure--
Touya is standing behind you.
Only his hair is black and he is burnt and it’s Touya, Touya, Touya burnt from the fire and here to drag you to hell or drive you crazy or something incomprehensible in between.  
You turn, slowly, aware of his reflection in the mirror, aware of the way adrenaline has taken away your ability to feel your body.
“Touya,” you say, voice hoarse. I’m sorry, how are you, why are you here, why have you been haunting me--all these words stick to the roof of your mouth.
The specter grips your wrists with all-too-warm hands, and oh, oh, this is not a specter but flesh and blood before you, something twisted and wrong but wholly alive.
“Not anymore,” he breathes out, and he smells of sulfur and ash. 
The candles behind you all snuff into darkness at the same time. 
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new-revenant · 5 months ago
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I really like the idea of the Lazarus pits being like a sentient being but also the stupid joke again of the Lazarus pits being ghost alcohol
So why not both Lola the Lazarie started to form around the time that alcohol and big celebrations we're starting to happen in the mortal world she became a stable point of humanity and with gaining power quickly a little bit too quickly for Pariah dark liking
An idea struck Pariah dark wanted to use Lola as a way to gain followers in the world and when Lola didn't agree Pariah dark locked her underneath her own creation and just like alcohol she can either give mortals a good buzz AKA healing and immortality but in too much social she can kill and take
After all those years practically trapped in her own little section of the ghost Zone that ghost can only mostly get stuck in she still has her good old party attitude but it's now much more cruel than and ready to take lives especially one life Ra al Ghul
Before being locked up she was friends with most of all the city spirits but especially incredibly close with the one of Krypton those aliens knew how to do a celebration but especially their planet spirit Krypton aka K to her and only her
Because of that most City spirits or spirits that represent things all kind of want Ra al Ghul not only because they want to lower the back but ever since Krypton has been mopey and down ever since especially when you include the fact that their planet died
So when the Justice League are trying to make a treaty with ghost King Danny Danny decides to introduce them to some friendly Ghost AKA City spirits and they all ask what's the one thing that they would like from their citizens and it's just strike down Ra al Ghul every single spirit gives their exact reason why they believe that scumbag should be dead
At first the supers were excited to meet their City Spirit Krypton but it got real awkward when he started crying about the love of they life for Lola
It's even funnier if no City spirit tells them that Lola is the Lazarus pits till the entire Justice League think that Ra al Ghul has a ghost trapped but like some magical artifact when that's not true but the guy is just such a big problem that everyone blames Ra al Ghul more than Pariah dark
Also City Spirit ancient lesbians I love to think about it
Huh, that’s an interesting idea. I think I remember seeing the idea of the Pits being sentient somewhere, but it’s been forever since I would’ve seen it. Also you have cooked up the whole prompt yourself, I have nothing to add ;-_- anyways yay lesbians 🏳️‍🌈
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jade-len · 10 months ago
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bad svsss fanfic/au idea, pt. 2: random svsss anti-fan (or hater) transmigrates into svsss after tweeting "stupid author, stupid novels" and proceeds to solve 90% of the novel's conflicts out of pure spite by pretending to be a seer.
"luo binghe will not kill you, shen qingqiu. just trust me when i say that."
"please listen to me when i say this, luo binghe. focus on yourself for a bit. learn to love yourself too. yes i know you're hopelessly in love but you shouldn't just rely on his affection to hold up your emotional wellbeing, okay??"
"oh yeah no. the huan hua palace's sect leader is a pervert who preyed on su xiyan, which led to a bunch of conflict and misunderstanding and now he's kinda gotten away with it." *proceeds to explain the whole lore of it* "see you later, yue qingyuan!"
"zhuzhi-lang, i have very important advice, okay. just because you love someone and believe something is best for them, you should not force them to do it. by the way, can i see your uncle real quick?"
"yeah. uhm. it was all old palace master's fault. go fuck him up, tianlang-jun. just don't kill anyone else in the process. also uh, read better romance novels please."
"gongyi xiao, if immortal master shen qingqiu and shang qinghua ever ask you to look around for some special mushrooms, run right after you help them navigate huan hua palace. like leave the damn place. you will meet your fate if you stay here. ok cool bye."
"mu qingfang please introduce this thing called 'therapy' and 'counseling'. i promise you it will reduce qi deviations by 50%."
"mobei-jun... don't. don't beat shang qinghua up. look i know it's demon culture but maybe try to also learn some human courtesy too?"
"liu qingge. one day you will find someone who will have the same amount of devotion for you as you will for them. and you are an amazing person for it ok."
at some point they probably explain to sqq and sqh that they've transmigrated into a story that's about sqq transmigrating into PIDW, which is also a story.
there can be three routes to this:
1. there is no hurt. binghe's heartbreak points doesn't even exist. everyone is cool and there are no deaths. also tianlang-jun tortures and kill OPM, so there's that. maybe some romance or whatevs happens but it's all good.
2. while they stopped 90% of the original conflict, they proceed to accidentally create some more by simply being there. the system declares that they're the "new main character" for the audience, just like how sqq is with svsss. now, new and different plot points start happening to them instead of shen qingqiu! how will they use their knowledge now, with things they can't predict?
2. mid-way, they accidentally put a huge target on their back. unintentionally, they're going against the system's wishes and the whole point of the novel: uncover the hidden plot of PIDW. they're like a virus, a bug, something that isn't supposed to be there, but is. they don't have a system, they exist beyond that; so they can't just be sent back. they're accidentally ruining the story of svsss by not having any of the conflicts mxtx created to occur, and thus must be stopped before they completely flip everything over.
the new mission given by the system for sqq and sqh? [URGENT: stomp the bug, no matter what!]
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iwannascreameurekaa · 5 months ago
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Top six reasons I ship Valgrace, because I love to talk about them.
Friends to lovers trope. This is my favorite trope and you can never really miss with it. Having friends to lovers trope means that your characters can already have a connection and know each other before they start dating. Also a friends to lovers valgrace story is so fun to read and/or write and it keeps me on the edge of my seat practically screaming at the fictional characters to stop being stupid and just get together through my phone
the "storm or fire" line in the prophecy of the seven. Having a ship where both of the characters would die for each other and know that one of them dies is absolutely incredible. I love tragic gays so freaking much, and valgrace is an amazing example of a tragic gay couple
It makes more sense than caleo and jiper. Caleo doesn't make sense in my mind bc calypso was extremely rude and demanding to Leo, the kiss didn't make up for anything. Also calypsos over 2000 years old and she should not be dating a 16 year old. She did in fact live those thousands of years, unlike Nico or Hazel. So please do not try to convince me that "well shes technically a teenager" she's still 2000 years old. I see caleo more as siblings, maybe becoming friends after the island thing. Jiper is also just incredibly Cishet and toxic. Saying that they were canonically dating is also just stupid because they also canonically broke up BECAUSE the relationship was toxic. Valgrace would actually be able to evolve and become a good relationship, without an immortal falling for a minor.
the differences and similarities between Leo and Jason. The height difference is an obvious thing that I enjoy, a very popular thing that's honestly very understandable. The way they were raised, with Leo running away from every home and never really knowing who his friends were and Jason never knowing who he himself was, is a huge factor in the reasons I like valgrace too. A boy who was raised by wolves, always forced to be a leader, just cozying up to the boy who thought that no one would ever want him is so sad and beautiful at the same time. How could you not love them?
their powers are also something that can be written in a way that's honestly poetic. Leo's fire is uncontrollable and the fact that at he just accidentally lights himself on fire when he's nervous, excited, or just expressing and emotion a bit to much is something that I adore!! Jason sparking when he gets emotional is a great parody to Leo's fire and I love that fact that both of their powers physically manifest!!!!!
Valgrace makes more sense for the lost hero trio. Piper being the "third wheel" but honestly if written right her and Leo should be even closer and are practically platonic soulmates. So there wouldn't necessarily be a third wheel just the "mom and dad and their child" type of thing but piper and her two dads and I love that for them like that's so cool and their friendgroup wouldn't be affected by the relationship like jiper messed with the lost hero trio because it would be a good balance even if it was an au where Jason and piper used to date but they broke up and then valgrace happens
Gods, I love them
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transmascutena · 5 months ago
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Okay a bit related the awful discourse happening right now I would like to say that interpreting Anthy as thousands of years old is just... okay I wouldn't say it's impossible but it feels like such a strange thing to be so ubiquitous in the fandom as opposed to a niche interpretation. Anthy is Utena's age when Utena first meets her. I've never seen a reason for why she's Utena's age in one flashback but is somehow eternally 14. Anthy and Dios's flashback is probably the main reason this reading exists at all, but I think it's safe to say this scene doesn't tie itself to any specific time period and is also not completely literal? I think timeline of the series is actually extremely condensed compared to most peoples interpretations when you consider that Tokiko (who got to age and is still alive at the time of the main plot) and Mikage worked on the perpetual motion machine which plays a huge part in the duels.
Am I making sense?? Does this cohere?? I just hate how gross Anthy is able treated by some fans while they defend it with an incomplete headcanon that doesnt even suit the series very well. My main problem with the reading isnt even the timeline, its that it does Anthy a wild disservice! Shes a child! Shes not an immortal being whos existed for centuries, shes 14! Akio isnt either, for that matter. Propping him up as an all powerful god of patriarchy actively works against the series' conclusions about him as a pathetic manchild who can only have power when its as a figurehead chairman. Thanks for listening to me ramble a bit!!
thank you! just saw this take too and it's one of my most hated interpretations of the show. "anthy is a 1000 year old in the body of a child" as a literal take (as opposed to like. she feels that way because of the nature of her abuse) is so . bad. always used to justify hating her for some shit that is very easily explained by the fact that she is a child. or to say that her and akio's age gap doesn't mean anything. or to say that there is a weird age gap between her and utena when, like you said, they've been the same age in every scene they're in together, including back when they're children. taking the flashback with dios and anthy completely literally as taking place hundreds of years ago, while simultaneously arguing that all of akio's current abuse is strictly metaphorical is just. an incredibly stupid way to read the show.
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wukong-s-only-wife5000 · 1 year ago
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when you’re scared for lmk wukong? 👉🏻👈🏻
LMK!Wukong: You're Scared For Him.
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Author note: Ofc. Thank you for being my first ever ask. >\\\<
It felt like second nature at this point! If one day went by without him doing something stupid that would cause him injury, it would be unnerving. All you asked was that he be careful… WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! You were pretty sure Wukong was gonna give you grey hairs long before old age could reach you and it proved effective thus far. You worried so much for your boyfriend on a daily basis because the mere thought of losing the immortal bastard hurt more than anything. 
Now don't get me wrong, he completely understood, sympathized and tried his best to be careful so you wouldn't freak out as much, but let's be honest… He’s the Monkey King, trouble practically followed him around no matter what he did. Seeing him fight constantly gave (Y/n) second-hand anxiety and your regular anxiety didn't help. 
Take now for instance. Was he fighting? Yes. Was he fighting a villain? Well… Not really? He and Macaque once again got into a showdown, specifically for bragging rights, brought on innocently by MK and Mei's little curiosity.
“Wukong-” You tried your best to tell him to be careful as he'd already gotten a couple of scratches. 
“Don't worry, babe!” The Monkey King grinned at you briefly. “I got this.”
Wukong knew better than anyone that your concerns spiked after the Lady Bone Demon possessed him. Seeing him like that scared you for good and after it was resolved, it took a long time for him to convince you that he was okay and you weren't going to lose him.
“What's wrong, Wukong? Not showing off anymore?” Macaque smirked. “Your little girlfriend is watching, sure you wanna show her who her real boyfriend should be?”
Now that pissed him off. 
Believe it or not, Wukong was no fool and at the back of his mind, he knew that Macaque was just saying things to get under his skin. However, his possessive nature overruled any bit of common sense or self-control when it came to you. So, as the emo-monkey expected, Wukong shot toward him with a new purpose and ferocity that took Macaque by surprise. 
“Was that really all it took to piss you off?” Macaque laughed and you scowled. He would most definitely get a slipper to the head later, maybe it will wake up some sense in him.
“These two,” you grumbled under your breath as all you could do was try to catch the fast movements of the two as they continued to go at it.
“Monkey King looks really mad now,” Mei commented from beside you.
“Wonder what Macaque told him,” MK asked from your other side.
“I don't want to hear anything from either of you,” she scolded the two that got the monkeys fighting in the first place.
��Sorry…” the two mumbled in guilt.
“Wukong!” you cried out seeing him get slammed against the side of a mountain, which made blood start to fall from his head. Now that was the end of the line for you. “Sun Wukong, that's enough!” you suddenly snapped which got everyone's attention, especially his. 
“Whoa, full name. Someone's in trouble~” Macaque grinned which made Wukong glare at him but let it go as you called him once more. Wukong jumped onto his cloud and flew over to you immediately; he then got off his cloud and landed in front of you.
“Hey, peach. You okay? You're shaking,” he held you close and buried his face into your neck.
“Stop fighting now… Please…” you mumbled into him as you clenched onto him as if you'd collapse if you didn't.
“What, that? Pft- that was more me beating on Macaque without a doubt,”
“Sunny,” she looked up at him with teary eyes. “I mean it.”
“Hey hey hey, what's with the waterworks?” he slightly panicked as he wiped your tears. “Okay okay. You win. No more fighting with Macaque.”
“Is it too much to ask for in general?” you asked in a soft voice.
“Peach, we talked about this,” he smiled a bit. 
After he stared at you for a bit, Wukong scooped you up like a baby squirrel and jumped onto his cloud again, this time taking you away, much to the other's protests about being abandoned so early. 
The trip back home in Flower Fruit Mountain was silent and was a time you took to clean his wound with a cloth you kept with you just for having its sake. It always managed to come in handy with a soulmate like Sun Wukong. When you two were safe in the privacy of your mountain home, Wukong jumped off the cloud with you still in his arms. 
“Wanna tell me what happened back there?” He asked and walked you both to the modern house you insisted that was located behind his little hut or ‘man cave’ as he liked to call it since the home was made. You didn't speak, only looked the other way with stubborn puffed-up cheeks. 
“Stupid monkey,” you grumbled, still not looking at him.
“Awe, don't be like that, Peach,” he grinned a bit knowing that you managed to calm yourself down a bit.
“You know how I feel about you fighting after-”
“I know,” his voice was soft as he nuzzled your cheek. “But that one was unavoidable and harmless!” he tried to defend, but the recently cleaned blood that was on his forehead made his last statement redundant. You raised a brow at him, asking him if he was stupid without having to say the words. “I'm retired now, that's why I took MK on as my protege, remember?”
“Yeah, but…” you mumbled, but it hurt to bring up what was to come in the inevitable future.
“Hey,” he held your chin and made you look at him. “I'm immortal! Can't die-”
“You know damn well that there are fates far worse than death,” you stated rather harshly as you cupped his face. Your words hit him where it counts. “Just because you tricked me into eating that immortality peach or whatever it’s called doesn't mean I want to wait another 500 years for you if you piss off the wrong people again.”
“Very funny,” he nuzzled your cheek, then your neck, all over your face and continued to do so repeatedly till you were nothing but a giggling mess that tried desperately to push him away.
“Hey! Don't try to be cute and cuddly  and lovable when I'm trying to scold you,” you tried to sound stern, but his long, fluffy and fragrant fur tickled your skin as he continued his kiss attack. “Okay, okay! I get it, stop,” you laughed a bit.
“Never,” he smirked against your skin as he kept relentlessly kissing all over your face. You both rolled onto the floor, (Y/n) laughed and tried but failed to push Wukong off as his kiss attack raged on. 
“I give up, I give up!” you cried out in an attempt to make him stop… oh how cute yet foolish you were to think that he'd stop now.
Let’s just say that he didn't care that you gave up, he wanted to give his girl all his love and affection and that's what he did… for the rest of the day into the next morning. 
________________________________________________________
Take that last part however you wish. ;3 
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janetbrown711 · 2 months ago
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If I Fail You
Chapter 2: No More Birthdays
Now fugitives from the celestial realm, MK and his friends and family set out to find the five color stones and save the universe.
Except that he's immediately swept away by his mentor, leaving said friends and family behind, leaving them to wonder and worry about what's wrong with him. Oh, and also climb a volcano with a four-month-old. But that should be easy enough, right? Right...
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Ao3 Link
Pigsy didn’t sleep a single moment the entire ride out of the city to the middle of nowhere, watching MK and Li Na with a tight, anxious feeling in his chest that wouldn’t go away. Even when Tang, Li Na and even MK managed to fall asleep, Pigsy stayed up silently, watching and waiting. Of course, they were never asleep for too long, especially MK, but Pigsy felt it extremely necessary for him to be alert and on guard at all times.
It was something he seemed to share with the Monkey King too, as he also didn't close his eyes for even a second in the vehicle. Of course, it was likely that immortals like him didn't need sleep, but Pigsy could recognize the specific distant look in his eyes any day.
They didn't talk, though. Almost no one ever did, except when Li Na would wake up and everyone would ask if everything was okay and if they needed to stop and yadda yadda. Pigsy appreciated their worry, but Li Na was his responsibility and he could manage just fine. Everyone else needed to just sit back and focus on themselves.
It… wasn't easy though, and sometimes he was tempted to ask someone else to get her to stop crying for five goddamn seconds. But at the same time, he knew she was probably just scared since she hadn't ever really been in a car or car seat before, and to be stuck for hours and hours had to be uncomfortable. Sometimes he thought about just putting her into the carrier again to keep her close and happy, but knew if the car was attacked in any kind of way, she needed to be in the seat. Unfortunately, four-month-olds can't really understand that, so her uncomfortable cries could last for hours, and all Pigsy could do was try and stroke her cheek and remind her of her blanket and wish for the best, shoving his frustration and temperament as far down his throat as possible.
Happy. Safe. Cared for. That's all he wanted for his family, but it just kept getting harder and harder and harder– was it too much to ask for a moment's peace? A day where he wasn't relaxing under false pretenses, but knew for an undeniable fact that everyone was okay and fine? Or would that somehow destroy the world because it was against the rules or whatever? Bah, to hell with the whole thing, honestly. What's the point of it all if things can't ju–
“Pigsy..?” Tang groaned to life from the other side of the car seat. “Hon, you look like you haven't slept a bit.”
“M'fine, Tang. Just have to keep an eye out,” Pigsy was quick to wave off, checking on Li Na as she stretched sleepily under her blanket.
Tang chuckled, reaching a tired hand to Li Na's face and stroking her cheek. “Hi, bao bao… you certainly woke up a lot,” he smiled as she started to whimper. “Got scared, didn't you? Don't worry, we're here, everything is just fine, you're okay with us, Li Na.”
Pigsy hummed before his eyes landed on MK as he too stirred with the sunrise, his head rolling away from Mei’s shoulder.
“Ugh… sunrise already?” his son grumbled, trying to bury his face in Mei’s arm, but Mei shook him off.
“Damn, Monkey Man. Maybe you woke up but not all of us have,” Mei scolded, keeping her eyes shut.
“Rise and shine, everyone! We– uh– have some planning we need to discuss,” Sandy chuckled nervously from the driver's seat.
“Ughhhhhh– curse this stupid universe,” MK groaned, once again trying to bury his head in Mei's arm, but the dragon girl pushed him completely away and onto the window.
“Sorry bud, but he's right, we got some explaining to do,” Wukong sighed.
“Right, yeah. Just one apocalypse after the next,” MK huffed, leaning against the window solemnly, making Pigsy wince.
“But you said there was a way to fix this, right, little man?” Sandy tried his best to lighten the mood.
“Right, yeah, something about… stones? Or something like that?” Mei rubbed her eyes, finally giving up on going back to sleep.
“Five color stones,” the monkey king corrected.
Tang perked up at that. “The stones that the goddess Nuwa used to mend the heavens? I didn’t think they were real!” He looked at Pigsy with such a stupid look of amazement it made the pig chuckle.
“Mhm, they are! They’re just hidden, and guarded, and we have no idea where to find them, aha,” MK laughed nervously.
“What? Not even a little?” Pigsy asked, mostly looking at Wukong, who still stared out his window.
“No–! I mean– it’s fine because we’re just gonna ask someone who does! Nuwa!” MK quickly flipped to a sketch he’d drawn of her earlier.
“Ooo, yeah! She’s totally gotta have a temple we could go to, right?” Mei was instantly on board, though Pigsy still had his skepticism.
“Oh– yeah, at the Burning Mountain.” Wukong finally looked away to give them a smile.
“Wait– what?! Nononono– we’re not going to the burning mountain, not with Li Na, we have to think of anywhere else,” Tang instantly protested.
Wukong gave a glance to the back and shrugged. “Don’t really have a choice here, man. We’re kind of on a time crunch.”
“I-I know that! I just– I don’t need her facing the Fiery Beasts from ‘Past Calamities’ that guard the temple. She’s way too young for ‘trials by fire’– especially literal ones,” Tang looked at Pigsy anxiously.
“Yeah, I gotta say I agree here.” Pigsy glanced down at his daughter, who was reaching her stubby little arms for him. He met her reach with his hand, allowing her to grasp a finger before he looked back to Wukong. “Are you one thousand percent sure there’s no alternative here?”
“Unfortunately yes, I’m sure,” Wukong glanced down at the carrier too, before going back to the window.
“Right, of course,” Pigsy sighed, not sure why/how that managed to make him feel worse since it was exactly what he expected.
“Don’t worry, dad. I can keep her plenty safe,” MK assured with a tired smile.
“No, kid, it’s okay, me and Tang got this, it’ll be okay,” Pigsy gave a similar smile back.
MK nodded slowly before turning back around, meanwhile Tang gave him a long, anxious stare.
Pigsy chewed his cheek, looking down at Li Na instead of his husband. “She’ll be okay,” he whispered. “With your shield and Sandy’s strength, she’ll be okay.”
“Babies aren’t even supposed to be outside in temperatures over 32,” Tang countered.
“Human babies. Demon babies do better in the heat,” Pigsy tried waving off his own anxiety.
Tang gave an unamused look. “You do know she is still half human, right?”
Pigsy’s eye twitched. “Of course I know that, Tang, but do you see a goddamn alternative laying around here? No! So just– stop. I'll find a way to make it work, it’ll be fine,” he whisper-yelled, startling his husband.
“Pigsy–”
“Just stop, Tang. We’ll figure this out. We always have to,” Pigsy closed his eyes, tiredly letting Li Na stick his finger in her mouth.
Tang didn't say anything, which Pigsy let be. However, after a moment the chef was startled when he felt Tang pulling him closer and trying to rest his head on his shoulder.
Pigsy sighed and kissed his head. “We’ll be okay.”
“We’ll be okay,” Tang repeated, nuzzling as close as he could.
Pigsy kept his head atop Tang's for the rest of the ride.
The following hours were filled with chatter from MK and Mei, and a bit of Tang, as they talked and asked for details about the Burning Mountain and how it was different from the Flaming Mountains and such. Pigsy mostly tuned it out, keeping an eye out for any danger, and trying his best to fulfill Li Na's needs when they arose (though everyone agreed even if the world was ending, the car was stopping for diaper changes). She just about screeched in protest every time she was put back into the car seat, and whenever there was a bump in the road, and also whenever Pigsy or Tang’s hand stopped touching her, or whenever she wasn’t picked up for feeding. While incredibly frustrating, it was also probably unequivocally the worst day of the infant's life and she had zero communication skills or coping mechanisms, so she certainly had everyone’s sympathy. Besides, they still had her blanket and after ten minutes, she'd usually tire herself out. Granted, those ten minutes could feel like an eternity to the rest of the passengers, but it wasn't like there was anything they could do.
After about three hours, they arrived at the flaming mountain and Li Na was back in the carrier with Pigsy, to everyone’s relief.
However, the relief was short lived, as the Flaming Mountain certainly lived up to its name, while also having a shit ton of winding and perilous staircases to boot.
“I think my ankles hurt just looking at this thing,” Tang joked, elbowing Pigsy to try and get him to laugh too, but the pit in Pigsy’s stomach was far too deep for that.
“We’re seriously going to have to climb all that? Noooooooooooooooo,” MK groaned, slumping his head down.
“Bah, ‘Ol Alpine’ Sandy is good to go!” Sandy grinned, pulling out some of his rock climbing gear from his “emergency adventure” backpack. “We’ll be at the top in no time!”
“You know, I think there’s someone you’re forgettin’ here,” Pigsy sniped, making Sandy blush with embarrassment.
“Actually– that gives me an idea,” Tang snapped his fingers, summoning (and promptly spinning around) his khakkhara.
Pigsy sighed a massive breath of relief, glad his daughter wouldn’t actually have to face all that fire and lava. However, the feeling was incredibly short lived when he saw Wukong grab the staff with a guilty expression on his face.
“Yeahhhhhh, um, that’s gonna be a no-go, jangles,” he grimaced. “We can’t have that kind of big mystic energy or else–” “–Or else it’ll count as cheating! And we can’t fail the Trial By Fire!” MK interrupted, looking at the mountain with intensity.
“Wha– Kid, I’m pretty sure the ‘Trial By Fire’ is just a metaphor really, I’m sure the mountain ain’t testing you, right guys?” Pigsy glanced around the group, each having varied levels of one-sound responses.
“Yeah, gotta agree, bud. There’s no trial, we just can’t use magic because Li Jing will track us,” Wukong explained fully, glancing at Pigsy briefly.
Great.
“No matter, this mountain is going down,” MK shook his fist at it with determination.
Before Pigsy could even chuckle, Wukong wrapped his tail around his son and picked him up. “Or we’re going up! Catch ya at the top!” The monkey cheered, summoning his cloud and flying off.
“Wait–! MK–!” Pigsy called, but they were already nothing more than a blip on the horizon.
“Man, c'mon! Why doesn't his stupid cloud count as magic?” Mei kicked a rock and crossed her arms.
“Well, technically it's more of a ‘technique’ than a spell– plus the cloud is more like a kind of companion? I don't know– everything gets so mixed up with him,” Tang shook his head.
“UGH, fine, I guess we’re taking the hard way without MK, whatever,” Mei huffed and started going to the mountain.
Pigsy was going to follow, but his feet were suddenly glued to the ground as his eyes fell down to his daughter, who was looking up at him with big, innocent, helpless eyes.
“Pigsy? Everything alright?” Tang noticed his stance.
“No, I-I… I can’t take her, I can't climb that good, but we need to go after MK– Sandy,” Pigsy immediately turned to his friend, who looked down in confusion. “Sandy, you need to take her.”
“Oh-! Are you sure? She seems pretty cozy,” Sandy asked, smile soft and encouraging (or was at least supposed to be).
“You got more experience with this stuff, you can keep her safe,” Pigsy instantly nodded.
Sandy’s smile melted before he nodded and quickly got out a blanket from his backpack to use as a wrap while Pigsy removed his daughter from the carrier. This confused the infant, who instantly started squirming and whining, trying to grab Pigsy’s shirt with her tiny fists.
“Hey, it’s okay, you’re just going with your yifu Sandy, it’s okay,” Pigsy tried assuring, but she still kept reaching and wriggling until Sandy was ready for her and the trade off was made– to which she started crying.
“Aw, hey now, it’s okay Little Piggy, good ol’ Sandy's got you,” the river demon assured, carefully wrapping her nice and snug to his chest, where she still protested, although less. Mo seemed to notice her upset mood and tried tapping her with a paw, but it didn’t help much either as she still kicked and cried.
The scene made Pigsy's chest tighten, but he shoved those feelings deep down in favor of putting his carrier in the diaper bag so they could get moving.
“Pigsy, are you sure you’re okay with this?” Tang whispered, grabbing Pigsy’s arm.
“Yes. We have to go after MK, and Sandy’s plenty capable,” Pigsy argued, glancing as the demon in question started stroking Li Na’s forehead as the cries turned to whimpers as she looked up at him.
Tang looked too. “Alright… if you’re sure, I am too.”
Pigsy’s chest tightened further, but he took his husband’s hand and started up the steps anyways, Sandy following and Mei quickly taking the lead.
After a quarter of the way into the first staircase, Sandy managed to finally soothe Li Na enough to stop crying, which was a huge relief. However, all two seconds of silence was apparently too much for Mei, as she felt the need to start complaining.
“Man… Stupid Wukong powers– ‘non-mystical clouds’– that’s total bullshit,” she puffed, kicking the step in front of her.
“You’re telling me,” Tang huffed, already starting to wince at each step on his left foot.
Pigsy chuckled and gave his husband a glance. However, that was a mistake if ever there was one, because the moment Tang noticed, he immediately hammed it up.
“Pigsy, darling, would you mind carrying me the rest of these steps?” His husband batted his eyelashes.
“In your dreams,” Pigsy rolled his eyes, trying to keep his eyes forward.
“Awww, c'mon, don't you looooove me?” Tang continued, wrapping his arm around Pigsy's.
“Keep this up and we'll see,” The chef gave Tang's arm a pat, making the scholar quickly swipe it away.
“Well, I never– we have a baby together and this is how you treat me? Oh my breaking heart,” Tang swooned dramatically.
“Oh, you mean the baby I had to carry for eight and a half months?” Pigsy raised an eyebrow. “What, you think that wasn't good enough and now I gotta carry you too?”
“Wha–? I don't mean it like that, I just– you know– with the–” Tang sputtered, meanwhile Mei cackled with laughter ahead.
Tang huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “Having fun now, are you?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Mei grinned, spinning around and climbing the stairs backwards. “Your gross couple banter turned roasting is much more entertaining than thinking about how stupid it is Wukong just zipped MK up the mountain.”
“Hey now, hiking can be a very meditative form of exercise,” Sandy spoke up from the back.
All three other hikers gave him a look.
“...Okay, it might not be for everyone– but still! Introspection and being in nature is a good thing that can help us reconnect with ourselves,” Sandy argued.
“Rrrright,” Mei turned back around. “Well if that's true then it's a damn shame MK's missing out on all this introspection then.”
“Now that I agree with,” Sandy said, his tone making Pigsy's ears perk a little.
“What do you mean?” Pigsy glanced back.
Sandy looked away, seeming a tad embarrassed. “Well, I mean– I just think the kid needs a break, you know? Like we talked about,” he scratched his neck, and Mo meowed in agreement from his shoulder.
“Oh, right, yeah– he wasn't actually sleeping when we were all hanging, was he?” Mei asked.
“No, probably not,” Pigsy sighed and closed his eyes briefly.
“Yeesh…” Mei winced. “He's really been working himself to the bone lately, hasn't he?”
“Oh yeah.” Pigsy bit his cheek.
“But it'll be alright, we'll get the universe in tip-top shape in no time,” Sandy smiled empathetically. “Then he can get all the rest he needs.”
“Unless the universe throws another disaster our way,” Tang muttered.
“Hey now, let's try and think positively here. Once we get the stones and fix the universe, everything will be just fine,” Sandy encouraged, making Pigsy grunt out of habitual disgust. The chef could feel his friends gaze on the back of his neck, but the pig ignored it in favor of continuing up the never-ending steps.
“Well… uh… anyways… anyone know any hiking games we can play, or something to pass the time? This is… a lot of stairs,” Mei said, reality probably starting to hit her.
“Oh, I know plenty! We can do I Spy, 100 Bottles of Beer, 20 questions, bird watching, the alphabet game, or some kind of memory game!” Sandy cheered, making Pigsy ponder if throwing himself into lava would be less painful.
However, the pig kept his mouth shut since it was at the very least a distraction from worrying about MK. Plus, Li Na seemed to be having fun with it too, laughing along with every song or silly voice Sandy did. Despite his begrudgingly acceptance though, he felt overwhelmed with relief when they finally reached the first tread in the staircase and they could all rest a moment.
“Oh… my god… I think my legs… are gonna fall off,” Mei wheeled before she collapsed to the ground. “How many more staircases do we got?”
“Trust me, Mei, you don't wanna know,” Tang warned, sitting down with a wince.
Pigsy noticed that and immediately took action to start massaging Tang's ankles, which got him a pained smile in return.
“Haha… yeah… we got a long day ahead of us, but pacing ourselves is everything! So we're gonna take a nice, long break to drink some water, eat some granola, and take it easy,” Sandy instructed, removing his massive backpack while Li Na started to wiggle and whine. “Ope-! Right after we get this little one settled too.”
Pigsy naturally perked up, watching carefully as Sandy undid his wrap and freed the now crying infant. Pigsy now recognized it was her hungry cry, and so instantly got out her bottle and formula– before realizing he had no water or way to heat it up safely. Granted, it didn't have to be warm, but Li Na was in a phase right now where she refused it cold or even room temperature. Then again, this place was boiling hot, so… maybe it would work..?
“Oh dip, snack time?” Mei asked the frozen pig.
“Y-yeah, I just– um…” Pigsy stared down at his hands.
“Oh-! Here, I can make it for you if we trade,” Sandy offered, and they swapped almost instantly.
“Hey, hey, it's okay Li Na, it's okay– I know it's hot and you're hungry– but we have milk, you'll be okay,” Pigsy tried shushing her, which seemed to actually work, her little body relaxing ever-so-slightly against Pigsy's chest.
Tang hummed with a tired smile behind him, resting his head on his husband's shoulder before stroking Li Na's cheek.
“Oughhhh, you guys are so stupid cute– even when she's crying! How is this even legal?” Mei doted on her.
Sandy chuckled. “Maybe one day you'll have one of your own and maybe then it'll be fair,” he said, measuring the powder with the scoop while Mo made his way over to the girl.
“But right now it's not! And MK's not even here–” Mei suddenly stopped herself and started petting Mo. “It’s not fair.”
Pigsy winced at the mention of MK, which made Tang sit up. “You feeling okay, hon?”
“M'fine, just–” Pigsy sighed. “I'm just tired.”
Sandy gave his friend a look of pity before offering the bottle. “This will help her stop at least.”
Pigsy took it, despite accurately predicting Li Na wouldn't like it, kicking it away and wailing loudly in protest.
“What? Is she not hungry?” Tang asked, making Pigsy's eye twitch.
“Of course she's hungry, Tang, it just ain’t warm enough for her,” he sighed heavily.
Tang gave an exasperated sigh as well. “As if being on a flaming mountain isn’t good enough for her.”
“Oh, well– I, uh… I might be able to warm it up, if you want,” Mei offered, still stroking Mo’s chin as he purred.
Pigsy bit his cheek, uncertain but ultimately deciding it was worth a shot before handing the bottle over. The girl took the bottle in one hand, trying to start a fire in the other. However, it didn’t seem to be working for once, causing Mei’s frustration to rise with each failed snap.
“C’mon stupid flame, just fucking light already,” she cursed, making Pigsy and Tang exchange a glance.
Sandy sensed the tension “Mei, you don’t have to do this, I’m sure we can think of something else–”
“No! I can do this! I just gotta–” Mei snapped her fingers once again, and this time a massive green flame shot up. “Shit–!” She cursed, instantly dropping the bottle to the ground (thankfully causing the flame to die out too). “S-sorry– sorry, I can do it– I have it all under control, it’s fine, I just–”
“Mei, it’s okay, we can figure something else out,” Sandy insisted, but Mei just picked up the bottle and started walking up the stairs again to a nearby stream of lava.
“Mei–! Wait! Be careful!” Tang instantly stood and called out to her, but the girl didn’t listen, continuing to walk until she was barely away from the melted rock, where she simply crouched down and held the bottle above.
Pigsy stayed sitting on the ground, semi-trapped by the still-screaming infant in his arms, but he watched with an immense hollow feeling in his chest. Mei was in trouble, MK was in trouble, Li Na was in trouble– but again there wasn’t a single thing he could do– why did he call himself a dad again?
Mei came back in not too long– though she smelt a lot more like smoke and had soot stains all over her white jeans, but she still handed over the bottle with a nearly uncanny grin. “Here you go, Piggy.”
Pigsy looked at her. “Mei, what is this? What are you doing?”
Mei scoffed. “What are any of us doing? Climbing a stupid mountain to get to MK,” she retorted, crossing her arms and looking up, while Pigsy just shook his head and tried cleaning off the bottle before finally giving it to Li Na.
However, the head shake just set her off again. “Ugh, we're going too slow– I have to get to MK before something happens. I'll catch you at the top,” Mei waved them off and bounded up the stairs once more.
“Mei, hold on–” Sandy quickly grabbed his bag once more and went to go after her, before seeming to remember there were other people there.
He looked at them, then back up at the stairs, before backing down. “She just needs some space for now, I'm sure,” he said, though Pigsy wasn't sure his friend actually believed that.
“This is… really bad, isn't it?” Tang laughed nervously, looking at both the chef and Sandy.
“We can fix this, I know we can. We just… need to get up this mountain,” Sandy's cheerful disposition faltered ever-so-slightly.
“And then what?” Pigsy scoffed. “For all we know, Mei's right and while we're stuck here some destiny bullshit is happening. Hell, by the time we get there, I bet MK is just going to be even worse,” he spat, looking away bitterly.
“Pigsy–” Tang tried placing a hand on his shoulder, but the chef shook it away– which he instantly regretted when it made Li Na whine.
“Sorry, sorry– I just–...” Pigsy glanced at Tang before closing his eyes. “I know there's nothing we can't get through together… but when his ‘destiny’ or mentor keeps isolatin’ him, I just… I just don't know what to do,” Pigsy looked at Li Na tiredly.
Tang knelt and pressed a kiss on Pigsy's forehead. “I know how you feel, hon– it's terrifying and I just– I hate it so much.”
Pigsy sighed, nuzzling his head against Tang's chest before his husband wrapped him into a soft hug.
“Self isolation is a nasty habit for sure,” Sandy looked at and quickly scooped Mo back up again. “It’s not going to be easy to combat it… but with work I know we can get through to him.”
“Always the optimist,” Pigsy snorted weakly.
Sandy chuckled a little. “Someone has to be.”
Pigsy couldn’t argue with that, swapping the now empty bottle with a towel to burp Li Na, before glancing back up the steps, where he could see Mei stomping around.
“You should go to her, Sandy,” he spoke up, but his friend shook his head.
“We need to plan what to do about MK together– she's his family too,” Sandy said.
“She's just as much a kid as MK, she doesn't need all that pressure either,” Pigsy argued.
“She's his best friend, Pigsy. She's going to worry and want to do something no matter what,” Sandy gave the pig a look so tender it actually made the chef want to cry.
“W-well, um… either way, I don't like the kid bein’ by herself and I'm just holding you back, so, you know...” Pigsy sniffled, trying not to dwell.
“Oh, c'mon, don't be like that honey,” Tang rubbed his arm. “We’re all a team here, whether they know it or not.”
Pigsy nodded, ultimately agreeing with the sentiment. “Sorry, yeah, I just–”
“I know, hon. You’re okay,” Tang kissed his cheek.
The chef smiled.
Once Li Na was all burped and settled, she was wrapped back into Sandy's carrier, which she again protested. Thankfully though, all that eating must've tired her out as she fell asleep by the time they saw Mei halfway across a rope suspension bridge.
“Mei! Wait right there!” Sandy instantly called out, an unusual panic in his voice that made the other two adults pause before rushing with him.
Mei turned around, seeming annoyed more than anything. “Took you slow pokes long enough. C’mon, we gotta get going–”
“Mei, wait, that bridge isn't safe and you don’t have the right equipment or anything! You need to take it slow–”
“Sorry, but I'm actually trying to reach MK before my retirement,” Mei rolled her eyes and continued onward, not noticing how the bridge slanted a notable amount to the right, nor how some parts of the rope were frayed or how it was over a massive chasm or–
“Mei, are you trying to get yourself killed too?!” Pigsy shouted at her, running to the bridge’s start.
“I'm trying to get back to MK before it's too late, unlike you slowpokes,” Mei mumbled that last part, continuing forward until a loud CRACK broke through the mountain and Mei let out a shriek– the plank underneath her foot snapping in half and causing her to fall halfway before she managed to just barely catch the bottom rope.
“MEI!” All three of them shouted, Pigsy summoning his rake without even thinking and racing to her aid (ignoring Tang's loud sputtering protests and confusion).
“Pigsy! Y-your rake-! What if that counts as magic?! We can't be tracked!” Mei worried.
“Jesus– I don't fucking care! I'm not losing any of my goddamn kids! Just grab on,” Pigsy instructed, not comprehending how that could even be on her mind right now. Thankfully, Mei did still have enough sense to do as she was told and Pigsy pulled her back up on the bridge– though was quickly startled when Mei suddenly latched onto him and wouldn't let go.
“Woah, hey now, it's okay, kid. I got you.” Pigsy hugged her right back, his rake disappearing once more.
“P-piggy, I'm so sorry– I don't know what I was thinking– I–” Mei started to cry.
“Hey, it's okay, I got you, Mei, I got you. We'll make it across, everything’s okay,” Pigsy assured, finally looking back at his husband and best friend, who both looked like they just had the biggest heart attacks of their lives.
Once Sandy noticed Pigsy looking at him, he shook off his shock though, sighing a breath of relief before clearing his throat. “Right– okay– you two need to stay to the left of the bridge, alright? And watch out for creaking or too much rocking– take it nice and even!” Sandy instructed, and Pigsy nodded.
“You okay to stand?” he then asked the still trembling girl, who shook her head.
“I-I'm sorry Piggy, I'm sorry,” she kept crying.
“Hey, it's okay– we can talk on the other side, okay? I got you, everything'll be alright.” Pigsy gave a squeeze for emphasis and eventually Mei nodded and slowly let go. However, the second Pigsy was up and standing again, Mei held his hand tight. The chef didn't mind, though, letting her hold on as they followed Sandy's instruction until they were back on solid ground and waiting for the others to cross.
The pair didn't speak while they waited, though Mei wrapped her arms around one of his and buried her head in his shoulder. Pigsy did his best to try and comfort her, though was constantly watching and worrying for Tang, Sandy, Mo, and Li Na.
Thankfully, everyone made it just fine– though the second Tang was across he grabbed Mei's shoulders and started shaking her.
“Long Xiaojiao, don't ever do that again!” he ordered before squeezing the daylights out of her.
“I-I'm sorry Mr. Tang, I-I don't know– I'm so scared– MK– he isn't acting right– h-he–”
Tang hugged her tighter. “I know– god, I know… but what can we do?” Tang asked, eventually letting go and looking to Sandy, meanwhile Mei reattached herself to Pigsy's arm.
“Hey now, it's not too late, MK is still with us. We have time,” Sandy assured as he unwrapped his carrier once again, passing over the anxious infant to Tang, who rocked her.
“Yeah, but– but how much?” Pigsy glanced at Mei, who squeezed his arm tighter, burying her head.
Sandy had to think for a moment, which didn't make Pigsy feel any better.
“Look… it's not going to be easy, but MK is still here, we just have to keep assuring him we're here too. Even if it seems like fate or the universe is trying to pull us apart, we have to let him know we aren't going anywhere and– and that he means so much to us a-and–” Sandy started to get choked up, which made Mo start to purr and rub his head against Sandy's. “Right– right, sorry–”
“Sandy, it's okay, you can be scared too,” Pigsy assured, receiving a tearful smile of gratitude in response.
“R-right– well–” Sandy tried clearing his throat as a few tears fell quickly down his cheeks. “Well first, we'll make it up the mountain and help MK with anything he may need. After that, we'll be back in the truck for the second stone, and rest up. We don't want to pile too much on him too soon, but getting in some praise and affection would be good, I think,” he sniffled.
“But will it be enough?” Mei asked quietly.
“...I'll have a one-on-one meditation session with him tomorrow– try to teach him mindfulness and try to pass on wisdom about fighting inner demons. It’ll help him know he’s not alone,” Sandy nodded to himself.
“MK kinda hates meditation though– part of the ol’ ADHD thing,” Mei pointed out, fidgeting with Pigsy’s shirt sleeve.
“I know, but–... but I think with time and effort I could really get through to him,” the river demon tried to sound confident, but when Mei didn’t seem any more assured, he sighed. “I know how bad– how helpless it feels to watch someone go through this… but I know that Pigsy and Tang are right– there is nothing we can't fix together.”
“What about after the meditation?” Mei asked again. “What do we do then? H-how can we– can we make sure he doesn't– you know–”
Sandy smiled softly. “We just continue loving him the best we can, Mei, that's all we can do– until we find a trained professional for him, that is.”
“Right… right, okay,” The dragon girl sniffled, glancing up at Pigsy for reassurance, to which the demon kissed her head.
“We're gonna make that kid feel so fucking loved he won't know what hit ‘im,” the chef joked a little too.
“And we'll also make sure to take care of ourselves in the meantime too,” Tang added, and Mei instantly nodded.
“R-right– I know, I'm so sorry– I didn't mean to– I just–”
“We know, kiddo, just don't scare us like that again.” Pigsy moved to wrap his arm around the girl's shoulders.
Mei’s eyes went to the ground. “I mean... I didn't– I know you've said it before, but… I didn't think you actually thought of me like I’m your kid,” she chuckled weakly.
“What can I say? We're huge saps,” Pigsy chuckled too and gave her another tight squeeze.
Mei snorted, nuzzling closer as she did.
“And– uh– for the record, I– um… I’m very fond of you too, Mei,” Sandy added, making Mei finally break the embrace to give Sandy a hug of his own.
“I love you too, ya big ol’ teddy bear,” Mei said, causing the river demon to laugh and embrace her back.
Pigsy could see his friend was on the verge of crying again, but he didn’t say anything and instead made his way closer to Tang before asking how he and Li Na were holding up.
“Oh, you know… little sore, little exhausted, but a little better, too,” Tang chuckled nervously while Li Na grasped her baba’s thumb.
“You thinkin’ you’ll be able to make it up the rest of the mountain? It’s a long way to go still,” Pigsy asked.
“Are you offering to carry me?” Tang batted his eyelashes.
Pigsy rolled his eyes and pushed him away playfully. “Not if you keep doing that.”
The scholar laughed, though it didn’t last too long. At first Pigsy just assumed he was tired, but his eyes had an intense focus on Li Na before he suddenly asked–
“Pigsy?”
The chef straightened up. “Yes?”
“Tell me everyone’s going to end okay– that MK, and Mei, a-and Li Na are going to be alright.”
Pigsy’s heart melted. “MK, Mei, and Li Na are gonna be just fine, Tangy–”
“Promise me.” Tang looked at him.
Pigsy hesitated, glancing at Sandy, then Mei, then Li Na before going back to his husband.
“I… I promise, Tang. Everyone’s gonna go home just right,” he said, placing a hand on his husband’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
Tang’s face relaxed into a tired and slightly goofy smile. “Thanks, hon. I-I just– thank you.”
Pigsy smiled and kissed his cheek, before turning to the others. “We ready to get going?”
“Oh-! Yeah! Don’t wanna leave him hanging for too long” Mei immediately bounced up, and once Li Na was back and wrapped up with Sandy, they started making their way up the mountain once more.
The hike ended up lasting until just about sunset, and with Pigsy having to carry Tang for a little over half the distance because of his weak ankles. It wasn’t great for the pig demon’s back by any means, but Sandy was already carrying his massive hiking emergency bag, Mo, and Li Na, so he sucked it up. It was also better than even entertaining the thought of leaving his husband behind, so while it was difficult, he endured knowing it would be worth it.
…Which was why when Wukong grabbed MK and immediately flew away again the second the group reached the top, Pigsy felt angry enough to tear the immortal limb-from-limb.
It wasn’t helped that from the brief moment Pigsy actually saw his son, there was this… this cloudiness behind his eyes that hadn’t been there before. It was new– it had to have been new– Pigsy wouldn’t have missed it if it had been there at the restaurant or in the van–
Something bad happened to his son while he was out of reach.
“Well… uh… back down we go, I guess, huh?” Tang tried to lighten the mood, elbowing Pigsy to try and get him to join in.
Pigsy didn’t have it in him, though. Instead, he stared at Sandy, starting a silent conversation.
He’s worse, the chef’s eyes said.
I know.Sandy looked back with pity.
Why does this keep happening?
I don’t know.
Why can’t he just be okay? Why can’t he stay with us?
I don’t know that either, Pigsy. But we’re sticking to our plan as a team, no matter what. We'll figure this out.
Pigsy took a deep breath and nodded.
Right. You’re right.
Sandy smiled weakly. Of course I am. Let’s get going. Can’t leave him alone for too long.
“Right… right. Let’s get going,” Pigsy said, and after scooping Tang up once more, they started down the mountain again with equal parts worry and determination to fix what was wrong as a team.
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signiorbenedickofpadua · 1 year ago
Text
Anachronistic Greetings
by SigniorBenedickofPadua — Read on AO3
Pairing: Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling Rating: Mature Words: 2900 Tags: Sleep Deprivation, Accidental Kissing, Professor Hob Gadling, First Kiss, Getting Together, Dream Sex, Middle English. Counter Sex, or counter-foreplay to be precise, Accidental Confession, Daydreaming, Feelings Revealed by Daydreaming
Summary:
Hob is sleep deprived. That's fine, it happens, he's used to it. It's just that when you're 600-something the centuries can start to blend together a bit when you're tired. Enough so, apparently, that when Dream pops by for a visit, Hob's muddled brain decides to greet him with a "Salve!" and a kiss on the lips like it's still 1389 and he's greeting any old friend and not the cosmic being he's secretly in love with in the year of our Lord 2023. It's a good thing Dream is understanding. Very understanding.
Hob stared down at the kitchen table he was sitting at, resting his head in his hands as he absently followed the pattern of the wood grain with unseeing eyes, mind occupied with thoughts of absolutely nothing at all. He could have been sitting there for anything between seconds and hours for all he knew when he suddenly blinked and realised that he had entered the kitchen to get something to eat. Probably. He was fairly sure he hadn’t eaten yet.
He shook his head, forcing himself to snap out of it and come back to the then and there. He had just gotten home from work, and he was going to have dinner. Right. Yes. Only problem was he hadn’t quite got to that point before spacing out and forgetting what he was doing due to the fact that he hadn’t slept a wink last night. He’d had to stay up late marking essays, after which his brain had just refused to shut off and stop thinking about Middle English syntax for long enough for him to fall asleep.
Actually, come to think of it, that was two nights ago. Had he been awake all of last night too? He thought he might have been, having been too tired to fall asleep because the human body was bloody stupid like that. He attributed the fact that he hadn’t simply collapsed in front of his students while lecturing to his experience marching for days without proper rest back when he was constantly fighting for or against one Plantagenet king or another. But just because his body had kept going through the day didn’t mean his brain had followed at the same pace.
He felt a little bad for his students, to be honest, because he doubted his lectures had been up to his usual standards. At one point, if he remembered correctly, he had slipped into Middle French for several sentences before realising it, and, while talking about how the printing press had contributed to standardising the vocabulary of the English language, he was pretty sure he had used the pronouns “I” and “we” a few too many times to be entirely advisable for someone who was keen on keeping their immortality a secret.
He blinked again. Food. Right. He’d gotten distracted thinking about why he was distracted in the first place. Maybe he should just give up and go straight to bed, to catch up. Or maybe he’d better stay awake and go to bed at a normal time so as not to fuck up his sleep schedule even more by going to sleep at five in the afternoon. Hm. Dinner first. Then decisions.
He had just gotten up from his chair with the intention of opening the fridge to see what his options were when he heard a knock on his front door. Seconds later, he heard it opening. Hob instinctively reached for a sword which no longer hung at his hip before realising that a burglar probably wouldn’t bother knocking before breaking in, and that he had, in fact, forgotten to lock the door behind him when he got home.
The door closed behind his visitor, and he heard a familiar voice call, “Hob?”
Ah, of course. Who else would just waltz into his flat without waiting to be let in? He supposed he should be grateful Dream had learned to knock at all instead of just travelling by sand straight to Hob’s living room as he had often done back when the two of them had first started spending time together outside their centennial appointments. A wide smile spread across his face as he made his way into the hallway and laid eyes on his old friend. Sleep deprivation or not, Dream was always welcome.
“Salve, my freend,” he greeted him, laying his hands on Dream’s shoulders and standing on tiptoes to reach up and plant a kiss on his lips. “Wel y-mette.” He turned and headed back towards the kitchen. “I was just going to figure out dinner. Can I get you anything?”
There was no response, but Hob hadn’t really expected much of one. Asking Dream if he wanted something to eat or drink was mostly just a habitual courtesy — he knew he rarely indulged in such things in the waking world. He opened the fridge and looked over its contents with his own needs in mind as he waited for Dream to catch up and join him in the kitchen, which took longer than expected. Settling on some leftover stew, he removed the tupperware from the fridge and wandered over to the breadbox on the counter, cursing when he realised he was out of trencher bread. Wait. No. Why the fuck would he use a trencher? He had plates nowadays. Christ, he needed to sleep.
“Is this style of greeting coming back into fashion?” he heard Dream ask from the doorway, and he tore his eyes from the breadbox he had been blindly staring at for just a bit too long to look up at his friend.
“Hm? What greeting?”
Dream raised an eyebrow. “You do not usually kiss me when I enter your home.”
If Hob’s brain had been moving slowly before, now it froze completely. “Kiss? I didn’t—” His short-term memory finally caught up with him and he felt suddenly faint. “Oh, God… I’m— Fuck, I’m sorry, Dream.” The ice-cold fear that had gripped his heart was somewhat lessened by the fact that Dream looked mildly amused rather than offended, and he buried his rapidly flushing face in his hands. “Christ, I didn’t mean to— Sorry, I’m really out of it today and I think my brain has been stuck in the wrong century the entire day. I was going for a friendly greeting and apparently chose something that would’ve been appropriate six hundred years ago — before, you know, kissing on the mouth like that had the, uh, intimate connotations it has today.”
“I am aware of the greeting customs of humans, past and present,” Dream said, and when Hob dared to look up again, he could see the corner of his friend’s mouth twitch slightly, “I was merely taken aback by the anachronism.”
Hob took that as confirmation that he was forgiven for his slip-up, and he allowed himself a slightly nervous chuckle to lighten the mood, trying very hard to push back the thought that he had actually kissed Dream. He now knew what those lips felt like against his own, after having fantasised about it for ages. And this is how he found out? Through an absent-mindedly archaic greeting that was over in a second? Fucking hell, Gadling, get a grip. He needed to invest in sleeping pills after this, to prevent anything like it to ever happen again.
“Well, still. Sorry. Wouldn’t have been appropriate even if this had been the 14th century, would it? We’re hardly equals — you know, with you being a literal king and all. Someone like me should have kissed the hem of your coat, or the ground at your feet, or something like that.”
Dream took a step closer to where Hob was leaning back against the counter. “You are not my subject, Hob Gadling. You are my friend. I would rather have you kiss me like an equal.”
And wasn’t that a thought? Hob tried to remind himself that Dream’s words were on the subject of platonic greetings in a historical context, but he was finding it very, very hard not to imagine him saying the same thing in a modern context — as an invitation. His eyes dropped down to Dream’s plump lips, which looked so much softer when turned up in fond amusement than when pursed in annoyance or fury. Quite against his conscious efforts not to, he recalled the way they had parted slightly in surprise when he had covered them with his own and how they had not been as cool as he had previously imagined them, but pleasantly warm and lush. He imagined they would feel even more so if Dream initiated a kiss instead of being surprised by one. Especially if he abandoned the platonic pretence and kissed Hob the way he had dreamt of for far longer than he cared to admit.
Dream’s lips moved, saying something that Hob didn’t quite register, but which at least made him realise that he had been staring rather rudely.
“Hm?” he said again, tearing his eyes away to meet Dream’s. They were darker and closer to him than they had been before. “Sorry, what?”
“You are sleep deprived,” Dream stated simply.
“How did you know?”
“I am Dream of the Endless. I know.” He stepped even closer to Hob, almost crowding him against the counter. “And, being half asleep as you are, your daydreams are far more vivid and harder to ignore than usual.”
“What— Oh.” Oh no… “Fuck, I’m sorry—”
“No need to apologise,” Dream murmured. He was practically hovering over Hob at this point. “Unless…you did not mean it?”
His nose brushed lightly against Hob’s, and Hob forgot how to breathe. “Mean what?” he managed to squeeze out, dizzy with proximity to his oldest friend.
This close he could smell him. He could feel Dream’s breath (which he did not strictly need) dance over his lips when he spoke again, a low rumble which reverberated through Hob’s entire body and lit a fire in his belly.
“Do you wish me to stop?” Dream clarified, and there could be no question as to his meaning. Not when his body made contact with Hob’s, pressing him up against the counter, gently but insistently.
“No,” Hob breathed, half suspecting that he had, in fact, fallen asleep at the kitchen table and that this was a dream. But he had been friends with Dream long enough to be able to tell the difference between dreaming and waking, as well as how to tell if his friend was actually there in his dreams. As unlikely as this was, his feet were firmly planted in the Waking, even if his mind was at risk of straying dangerously close to the Dreaming in his current state. “No, I don’t.”
“Very well.” Dream’s voice was halfway between a purr and a growl as he surged forward, closing the remaining distance to slot their lips and bodies together.
Hob had been right. There was a world of difference between giving Dream a little peck on the mouth and being kissed by him in earnest. To say that sparks flew would be an understatement. It was more akin to being consumed but a wildfire, burning hot and fierce. Gone was the reserved stiffness his friend often exhibited in public. Now he sank his hands into Hob’s hair with passionate abandon and licked into his mouth like a man dying of thirst hoping to catch every last drop of water in his cup. He pressed himself close to Hob, slipping a knee between his legs and rolling his hips experimentally, obviously pleased when it wrung a moan out of Hob.
Hob’s hands flew up to Dream’s hips, finding their way beneath his stupid, elegant coat which he still hadn’t removed. He clutched at the fabric of his shirt, using it to pull his friend even closer, marvelling at the solidity of his thin body as he splayed a hand over his ribs and moved it in a caress around to his back. He could count every knob in his spine by touch, yes, but the muscles surrounding it were strong and firm and they danced beneath his hand as Dream reached down and lifted Hob onto the countertop like he weighed absolutely nothing — and fuck, if that wasn’t a turn on…
Hob retaliated by wrapping his legs around Dream’s lithe form and groaned when his friend rutted up against him. He was reasonably sure that Dream must have made himself taller than he’d been a moment ago for their groins to still be at the same height, but he had a hard time focusing on that when it felt so damn good to have Dream’s obvious erection rub against his own, even through far too many layers of clothes. 
“Fuck, Dream…” he gasped when Dream, a good while later, broke the kiss to instead mouth at the side of his neck, then up to nip at a sensitive earlobe, all while slipping his hands under the hem of his shirt to palm at longing skin. “Are you… Ah! Do you want to take this to the bedroom?”
He was proud of himself for managing the question without his voice trembling. Despite the fact that Dream had initiated this whole thing and was clearly as excited about it as Hob was, he still felt the half-irrational fear that any sudden moves or potentially offending propositions might send his friend running like he had the last time Hob had dared presume too much.
Dream hummed against the spot where Hob’s ear connected to his jaw and dragged his fingernails lightly down his back, sending a shiver down his spine. “A sensible idea. You are weary and need to rest.”
“Not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Nevertheless, I think perhaps you ought to get some sleep. I can feel you yearning for the Dreaming, in mind and body alike.”
“For its ruler, maybe. I may be a bit tired, but I’d rather continue this than try and fail to go to sleep right now.”
He would never admit it, but a pang of anxiety shot through him at the thought of interrupting this at this point. He needed them to see it through, and to talk about it afterwards to figure out what the hell it meant. If they stopped now, if Dream left… Would they have the courage to bring it up the next time they saw each other, or would they dance around it for a few more centuries? He wasn’t sure he could bear that.
Dream pulled back enough to meet Hob’s eyes. His lips were red and puffy and sported an amused smile. “Hob, I shall join you in the Dreaming, naturally. I too am quite keen to finish what we have started.” He punctuated this with a roll of his hips which chased Hob’s fears away to make room for arousal. “As for falling asleep — there are certain benefits to keeping the King of Dreams as one’s lover. It will not prove an obstacle.”
Hob hardly heard anything he said after the word lover, which bounced around in his head like an intoxicating echo. “Well, then… Bringe me to bedde, louer myn,” he murmured, lifting a hand to push a strand of Dream’s wild hair behind his ear. It was just as soft as it looked.
His lover smiled and whispered, “Slepe, thanne, my biloued.”
Dream bent his head to place a gentle kiss on Hob’s forehead, and suddenly it was nigh on impossible to keep his eyes open. The last thing Hob was conscious of before sleep claimed him was his head slumping forward to rest on Dream’s shoulder. Then everything went dark and fuzzy.
***
When Hob next opened his eyes, he knew he was dreaming. He found himself in a room he did not recognise, but he knew it belonged to the Palace of the Dreaming. It was unclear whether he knew it because he recognised the stone the walls were built from, or the style of the lofty stained-glass windows, or because of the way you just knew things sometimes when you dreamt, but it hardly mattered. What mattered was that he was lucid, that he was in a bed, that he was naked beneath the sheets, and that Dream stood before him by the side of the bed, dressed only in a diaphanous black robe which was seemingly woven from pure shadow.
“Hello, Hob,” Dream rumbled, voice impossibly deep and sonorous here in his natural habitat. His eyes gleamed with starlight as he looked down at Hob.
“Please tell me I’m not currently asleep in a heap on my kitchen floor,” was what Hob managed to say after suppressing the urge to just whine and rip that horribly teasing robe off of Dream’s body.
“Of course not. I carried you to bed. The point was to ensure you got some restful sleep, which the floor is hardly suited for.”
“Oh, that’s the point of this, is it?” Hob asked with a breathless laugh, running his eyes down the neckline of the robe, which plunged dangerously low.
Dream smirked. “Among other things.” He placed a knee on the bed, and then, in an unnaturally smooth movement, he was seated across Hob’s hips, their bodies separated only by the gossamer fabric of the robe and the silky satin of the sheets.
“And what were those, again? Would you care to remind me?” Hob teased, reaching out to slide his hands up slim but powerful thighs.
“It would be my pleasure.”
That night, as Hob would later reflect, put every wet dream he’d had in his very long life to shame. The next morning, he woke up well-rested but starving, with a distinctly uncomfortable situation in his pants and a tupperware container full of spoiled stew waiting for him in the kitchen. That didn’t matter much, however, when he also woke up to find the King of Dreams in his bed.
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scaredshadowsswap · 1 year ago
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Hey y’all, I’m cancer-free now, so I’m gonna try to get back into writing random headcanons again. Today, it’s SCP Personnel and the hobbies I think they’d have.
Clef
Clef seems like he’d be an annoyingly fast learner, which means his hobbies switch fast. One week he might be cooking, but as soon as he gets good at it, he’s gonna learn blindfolded axe throwing or something else until he gets good at that. He has a very wide skill set, especially in combat, but he can’t really stick with anything for very long. The only hobby he consistently has is movies. He watches movies and references them all the time, and hopefully you’ve seen the movie because the references convey important information. He’s also really well-read, and will make references to well known classics as well, but he usually saves those references for people he thinks are stupid and won’t understand them.
Kondraki
Kondraki is determined. Once he gets good at something, he wants to stick with it more and get better. Besides photography, he composes music. He played cello in high school, but doesn’t really play anything anymore and instead just writes music that he thinks would sound good. He also, on occasion, goes birdwatching. If anyone gives him shit about it, he will bash their skull in, but he finds birdwatching to be a nice thing to do, especially on a cold morning as the sun is just coming up and almost everyone is still asleep. He’ll take a cup of coffee with him and just watch the sky for a little bit before he has to go to work.
Shaw
What hobbies can an immortal have? All of them! Shaw speaks almost 50 languages, plays 11 instruments, and studied astronomy for a good 20 years. However, most of their hobbies are from earlier, when being immortal still seemed cool. Nowadays, Shaw is just majorly depressed and doesn’t have the mental energy to keep doing new stuff. Thinking all the time like that gets exhausting. One thing they still like doing, though, is hosting parties. They invite whoever they damn well please on the given day, and it never gets old. Shaw knows that these people are good friends, and someday they’ll be dead, so Shaw wants as many memories with them as he can get.
Glass
Glass sometimes feels like the Foundation Staff’s punching bag, and it sucks. His way of managing his feelings is through golf. He golfs, and he is really damn good at it too. Probably could’ve won some local competitions, if he was allowed to participate. He finds it relaxing to be outside in the fresh air, and therapeutic to swing a golf club. Unfortunately, it’s hard to get permission to leave the Site and go golfing during his weekends and off-days, so he jogs when he can. He’s said he’d like to pick up tennis, but you need an opponent, and it’d be weird to play your therapist in a game of tennis.
Iceberg
Iceberg’s hobby is explosives, but I think he likes baking. The warm oven offsets how cold he feels, so he used to just have the oven running whenever he was home. He likes sweets and desserts, so he decided that he might as well learn how to make cookies, and it took off from there. He’s good at it, but he’s also insecure about being perceived as “doing girly stuff”, so he doesn’t usually share the things he makes with people. He’ll usually drop off a birthday cake for people on their birthdays, but he’ll say he bought it at a local bakery or something.
Gears
Gears was always fascinated by calligraphy, but it took him a really long time to get good at it. He doesn’t have time to practice hobbies like that when he’s busy running the largest Site the Foundation has. He also likes cooking, and unlike his assistant, he’s very open to sharing food. He doesn’t really express contentment through words or expressions, but he will occasionally give food he made to the people he trusts. He’d be really good at baking if he tried due to his excellent precision, but he doesn’t like things that are too sweet, so he sticks to cooking.
Strelnikov
Strelnikov likes climbing trees and seeing if anyone notices him. To him, it’s a measure of stealth, and he likes to play a game and see how much he can learn about a person from at the top of a tree. People find this very creepy. He also can play the acoustic guitar, but he doesn’t know anything about music theory, he just kinda knows how the song is supposed to sound.
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11queensupreme11 · 10 months ago
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I started writing the Loki is Sally Jackson AU and would like some thought because I feel like I am having trouble pinning Loki down as a PJO fan first and a ROR one second.
"Loki Pov (6 months post-banishment):
He would be the first to admit that he perhaps did not take it as seriously as he should have. How could he when this world seemed to operate on farcical principles? Gods relied on humans who were not even permitted to know of them. Others who weren’t even truly immortal had to rely on fruit, some of whom even bore his own kin’s names. What a jest!
So, perhaps, he had been a little lacking in his preparations. And, as the mortal “nurse” attempted to coach him through “the options available to a young woman in your situation”, he could feel the cold tendrils of unease starting to wrap around his ribs as he considered what it would mean to bear the child of such a being. Not that he regretted this dalliance by any means. He did not consider himself someone who should know the meaning of the word regret, after all, was he not a trickster god? And Poseidon, the Poseidon of this world that is, was hilarious. An absolutely delightful distraction from the boredom that set in after he invented Sally and overcame his initial disgust with this world. The god had produced more bastards than Zeus while wearing Birkenstocks. Truly a god lacking self-awareness and shame. Exactly what Loki needed (and honestly falling for him was well within Sally's established character …He was just so charming while she was a young and “inexperienced” woman, who could blame her. and Loki? Loki needed an in to start gathering information on the gods of this world and their convoluted system). At least he was going to get a good laugh the next time he looked at Poseidon standing in Valhalla’s halls from these memories.
But…buuuut (now he was getting annoyed, how long could this go for, was she going to start praying for his chastity? Oh what he would give for the ability to kill these filthy mortals without consequences, alas the American healthcare system had managed to come up with tortures that would surpass Beelzebub at his most creative) there were politics. Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon had a deal going from what he could grasp, children too powerful, needing to protect mortal lives, Zeus murdering his brothers' spawn and lovers for sport, and a lot of other drivel he had ignored (they also seemed to be pretending the other Pantheons did not exist, he should poke at that some more, not using Sally though, too risky). See! He did understand actions and consequences, uncle’s stupid punishment was completely unnecessary, and nothing he was learning here was of value (wait what was an epidural? He gave birth to a horse; how bad could a human pregnancy possibly be? Stupid oath. Stupid Styx )
His biggest concern was the baby, the little alien-looking shrimp thing keeping him locked into Sally’s form. Poseidon had apparently sired gods before (He married a daughter of Nereus! A woman no better than a slave as his queen if he remembered correctly. Had the old fish managed to cling to power somehow? How funny, Poseidon the Emperor would sooner castrate himself than let a rival live like that) but most of his children were half-bloods, children seemingly cursed with more drawbacks and difficulties in exchange for their divine blood. Loki was starting to suspect he was missing quite a bit more important information than what this useless woman was babbling about… (What was Medicaid and SNAP? Now this insect was just making up words).
Ah, he was getting out of character. Sally was, of course, delighted to have her child and would love them regardless of the difficulties they would face. She, of course, wanted to know more about the assistance programs the city was offering to single mothers. Please go on. (And Loki, Loki was mortal and lacking most of the powers. Loki was starting to feel unease.)"
Thought? I like world building so I was planning to use Loki to explore the differences between RORs world and PJOs. I feel like he is very critical but I also wanted to capture how silver tongued and tricky he can be. I also feel like he is a caring parent which is another layer of complication to his character. So I have been really struggling with his voice (Odin's internal monologue is even worst the man has so little dialogue and I'm pretty sure Thor's head plays Wii music when he's not fighting, at least the Greeks have personality)
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THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER READ DUDE
NO SERIOUSLY UR WRITING IS MASTERCLASS
I LOVE THE AMOUNT OF HUMOR YOU WERE ABLE TO PUT IN THIS TOO
"The god had produced more bastards than Zeus while wearing Birkenstocks. Truly a god lacking self-awareness and shame"
"alas the American healthcare system had managed to come up with tortures that would surpass Beelzebub at his most creative"
"What was Medicaid and SNAP? Now this insect was just making up words"
this is so fucking perfect dude, YOU ARE SO GOOD LMAO I LOVE THIS
also, i 1000% agree that he is a caring parent! he's a silly little guy but he loves his babies (he's just super embarrassing about it). he's definitely the type to grant his kids a lot of freedom too. but i feel like, sine percy is half-human, he'd be more paranoid and worried about her especially since her universe is pretty harsh towards demigods. so i think he'd be struggling a lot about the fact that:
he's supposed to entrust his baby to a camp full of psycho kids (thats how he sees them lmao) that could kill her???
she's gonna be sent on QUESTS
a bunch of gods and monsters want her dead???
THEY'RE SENDING HER TO WAR????
and "where's my child support????"
the rules and restrictions the pjo gods face are also very baffling to him too
rip loki, good luck raising percy 😔
ALSO, i got a recent ask from an anon that i haven't replied to yet, but they wanted to know what ur ao3 account is!! i wanna know too cuz i really really REALLY wanna read your works once you're finished (you're the one who asked to make an ao3 fandom tag for arsenic blues right?? if not, pls ignore this oops)
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steveshairychest · 2 years ago
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tw: mentions of death
Eddie will forever be grateful that he got a second chance but now he's starting to feel the consequences of his immortality.
Steve's old enough to be his dad now. His hair is almost completely grey at 45; he says the stress of babysitting 6 kids really sped up the process. Eddie still thinks he's the most beautiful person alive, he's aging like fine wine right before his eyes and he's so glad that he gets to spend every second of his immortal life with Steve.
He just wished they'd grow old together.
Dustin's kids think it's weird that their dad is friends with someone who's only just 'freshly 21' but Eddie thinks it's weird that they've never questioned why the man they've known since they were infants hasn't aged a day. He's starting to realise that children are very oblivious, especially if you bring gifts everytime you visit.
He still DMs for the party except now their children join in too. They like to remind Eddie that his rules are very outdated. He gets a disappointed frown from one of his friends when he kills their kid's character just because they annoyed him.
He thought explaining his eternal youth to his friend's kids was going to be the hardest part but he was wrong.
The hardest part was watching all his friends die.
It never got easier. He held their hands, whispered words of comfort as he listened to their hearts slowly stop. He cursed his abilities in these moments; wished he couldn't smell the illness in their blood and hear their hearts get weaker and weaker as they grew older.
Steve went sooner than he expected.
It came on so suddenly, he had no time to prepare himself, no time to figure out a way to go with him.
"See the world for me." Steve whispers to him. He's smiling, he's fucking dying and he has the audacity to smile at Eddie.
"I don't want to live in a world without you." Eddie's voice cracks and he scoots his chair closer so that he can gently rest his head on Steve's stomach. Steve weakly plays with his hair, that stupid smile still on his face.
"Always so dramatic." Steve traces Eddie's face, runs his fingers over his eyes, his nose, his lips, the scar on the side of his face from the bats; something that feels like a lifetime ago. "I love you, Eds, I won't be mad if you find someone else. Just make sure you visit and tell me about them." Eddie's sobbing now, his body shaking as he cries and grips Steve's hand tighter. He can hear it. He can fucking hear his heart slow. It's a sound he'll never be able to forget.
"My heart belongs to you... in this life.. and the next." And then he's gone.
Eddie's ears ring and he knows he's causing a scene, knows that screaming Steve's name won't magically drag him back from whatever place he's gone to, but he can't stop. He has to be forcefully dragged out of the room which is a struggle because Eddie is stronger than the average human.
He hates the silence, hates that he'll never hear the calming, steady beat of his lovers heart. He doesn't sleep for weeks, it feels wrong to sleep in their bed without Steve. He doesn't eat, can't even bring himself to open the fridge and drink the last bit of blood Steve had put aside for him.
It gets to a point where Dustin's oldest kid, Julie, comes to visit and finds him curled up on the floor, hunger so bad he's unable to move, to speak.
"Steve wouldn't want this." She chides and force feeds him the blood from the fridge. He doesn't know when Dustin told her about him, doesn't really care at that point. All he can do is sob weakly as Steve's blood fills his mouth and brings him back from the edge. "Come on. We're going to visit dad."
Dustin's in a retirement home now.
He'd gone downhill after his wife died and the kids had their own lives, they didn't have time to look after him 24/7. Eddie would have taken him in if he'd known, but he's been in a state of limbo for 2 months now. He'd collapsed on the kitchen floor a week ago and would have stayed there if Julie hadn't shown up, his body can withstand neglect a lot better than he thought.
He's missed Robin's 70th birthday.
He's missed the birth of Mike and El's 4th grand kid.
He's missed the release of Will's final book in his series.
He's missed so much life while mourning Steve. He didn't realise so much could happen in just 2 months.
"Hey, dad, I've brought a visitor." Julie says softly, making sure not to startle Dustin. He's sitting on the small lounge next to the window, an old fantasy book in his hands, and seeing him sit there brings back memories of when they were younger. When Dustin used to come by Steve's house just to be near Eddie, to remind himself that Eddie was okay. They'd sit in the bay window in Steve's lounge room and read together for hours. Steve would walk by and flick the lamp on for them because they wouldn't even notice that the sun had set.
He can still see that little kid in the old man in front of him, he's hidden under the wrinkles and grey hair, but when his eyes light up and his smile takes over his face, Eddie sees the kid that he risked his life for. "Eddie!"
Julie leaves them to talk, says that she'll grab them all a cup of coffee. Eddie declines. He hasn't been able to drink coffee since Steve died. It reminds him too much of waking up to quiet humming from the kitchen and coffee flavoured kisses.
Dustin scolds Eddie for neglecting himself, for not calling him or coming to see him so that they could mourn together. It feels strange to be scolded by someone that you used to babysit.
"He told me to move on." Eddie says quietly, bitterly. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him."
"You don't have to forget him." Dustin scoots closer to Eddie on the cramped lounge and makes him look him in the eyes. "You're going to be around for a long time, Eds. You can't be that stereotypical vampire that mourns his long lost love for centuries."
"Maybe I want to."
"Steve would strangle me when I see him next if I let you do that."
When I see him next.
That makes Eddie ache. Will he ever get to see Steve again? Can he even die? He doesn't want Dustin to leave him too but he knows Steve is probably lonely wherever he is. He never liked being on his own for very long.
Eddie leans against his friend's shoulder and sighs shakily. He doesn't want to cry again. He's tired of crying. "I feel hollow, Dustin. I think Steve took a part of me with him."
"He was always quite greedy when it came to you."
Eddie smiles for the first time in 2 months. "He was, wasn't he. He always stole your time with me." He playfully jabbed Dustin in the side and it felt good to laugh with him, to smile and see the familiar twinkle of joy in his friend's eyes.
When they stop laughing and the room fills with a comfortable silence, Eddie asks quietly, "Do you really think you'll see him again?"
Dustin hums and leans back into the lounge, a knowing smile on his lips. "You'll see him again, Eddie. I know it."
Eddie scoffs with a smile. "Why? Because you're old and wise?"
"Precisely."
Eddie knows Dustin is just saying what he wants to hear, what he thinks he needs to move on with his life, but a small part of himself hopes it's true.
He hopes that after he's seen the world, he'll be able to tell Steve all about it.
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isa-ghost · 4 months ago
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Birds of a Feather AU - Phil & Crowley's Dynamic
A reminder: Crowley is o!Phil, Phil is hc/c/q!Phil!
More Birds of a Feather:
General Concept/Characters
Vague Plot
Phil is notorious for going out of his way to get on Crowley's nerves at times. It's not that he's malicious, and it's not that he dislikes the guy (but he certainly doesn't Like him), it's just so easy to do and so fun to watch! Crowley can be so immature and predictable at times, it's just so easy for this salty immortal bird bastard to entertain himself by getting on his "tory traveling companion's" shitlist.
And Crowley does it right back. He finds just the right topics or stupid questions to ask Phil. Sometimes he even gets on his nerves without trying to, like when he whines about not having a specific resource or having to put in an effort to get said resources instead of having them handed to him.
Phil is the one that named Crowley that. That's not his name. Phil is not calling him Phillip or whatever his actual name is. "Fuck you, you're Crowley. L."
Inversely, Crowley refuses to call Phil Phil out of spite. Old Man, Bastard Bird, Other Crow Guy, Death Angel Or Whatever. Anything that isn't "Phil" or "Philza." Purely out of petty spite.
One thing's for certain though: Neither of them will sink too low. No going after personal traumas. They're petty, they're just jesting and aggravating each other, not trying to make enemies.
They convincingly act like they hate each other though, and honestly they might just a shred. But the moment there's danger, their true colors show. Phil will launch himself between Crowley and a hostile mob, Crowley takes excessive pleasure in killing baby zombies for Phil, both of them will throw down with a motherfucker for talking shit about the other, Crowley actually finds Phil's stories about past endeavors really fascinating (he loves Antarctic Empire stories), Phil secretly sees great potential in Crowley ("if he can grow the fuck up"). Deep down, they realize they're currently all they have, and they're not gonna take that for granted because neither of them can tolerate the soul crushing feeling of being alone.
Their relationship is NOT familal. You could hardly call them mentor/student, even though that's what they're meant to be. Phil is passing on his centuries of wisdom to Crowley for him to fend for himself properly. And directing the reigns in where they go because explorer brain is locked in, and Crowley needs to learn how to navigate rather than aimlessly wander.
All their actual bonding happens late at night, when they're both unable to sleep because their heartaches are haunting them and their only company is each other and a campfire.
Despite all his bitching and adamant refusal to admit it, Crowley deeply admires Phil once they've been traveling together long enough. His raw power, his seemingly infinite skills, his tenacity and stubbornness. Phil is exactly what Crowley wants to be.
Similarly, Phil won't admit it but he thinks Crowley can not only learn the things he needs to to survive on his own, but has the potential to excel at them so long as he stops being so entitled and turns his snobbism and fear into motivation.
But he's seen many times that Crowley is a coward. There's no other way to put it. And that worries him deeply. He's talked about bits of his past to Crowley, like the fairly recent possession ordeal (Crowley asked about his wings and Phil did Not have a good time with it). The thought of any of Ender King getting in Crowley's head terrifies Phil. It'd be so easy, and he hates that, because he desperately wants to have more faith in Crowley; especially as more time goes on. But he just knows he's too tempted by seemingly easy solutions.
On that note, Crowley may be a "dumb, bratty asshole with a silver spoon in his mouth and no life experience," but he's still observant. He can tell when Phil is grappling with some kinda demons in his head (Phil gets waaay too anxious about being greedy in Crowley's opinion). And Phil can tell the same about him. It's partially what lead them to agree not to pry or harass each other with personal traumas.
Crowley, obviously, is very very jealous of Phil. He has everything he wants and more. But Phil isn't jealous of Crowley almost at all. The only thing he envies are his fully working and unharmed wings. Even so, this could no doubt lead to very explosive arguments between the two of them, because Crowley is jealous of things Phil would NOT take kindly to being envied about.
As much of a fledgling Crowley is when it comes to real world experience and life skills, he still has his strengths, some Phil actually lacks to a certain degree. He can navigate certain social situations seamlessly; he's great at reading tone and expressions, he's spectacular at negotiating, and should the situation require it, he's a decent actor. He'll lay the aristocrat act on thick and pull the "friends in high places" card (though friends in high places is pretty literal in his case since he has no one. It's Phil perched somewhere above and ready to drop down to kill a bitch).
Crowley is secretly a sucker for praise and often goes out of his way to try and impress Phil or do something that'll greatly benefit the two of them in an effort to please Phil. Phil has 100% clocked this and just doesn't say anything. It's vaguely amusing to him.
There's a comical ongoing thing between them where Phil refuses to explain Kristin's existence to Crowley bc "it's too much to unpack" but he keeps accidentally slipping and mentioning her name or referring to his ties to Death. And every time Crowley asks him wtf he's on about, or an actual Rare Crowley Question of Genuine Curiosity, Phil has to scramble to cover his own ass.
You could not pay Crowley enough and you could not bribe Phil with any amount of god apples to get them to hug or physically touch each other in any way that isn't irrefutably necessary. It's practically a miracle if they poke each other or something to get the other's attention.
Despite all their reasons for not getting along, good god do they have a fair few things in common aside from being two very lonely avians. Like their ungodly and sometimes debilitating fear of failure. :)
The longer they're together, the more codependent they'll become on each other. It's a very slippery slope for them both because they're so vulnerable and lonely at the moment. That's exactly what started this entire thing, it could very much just keep worsening, especially when they actually bond.
And once they do bond, good god will they be a terrifying duo. The smarts between them both,,, something something the way crows teach each other and pass information on to their future generations.
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gaywarcriminals · 6 months ago
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hello! how are you going? do you have any svsss fic recs you enjoyed?
Aside from the usual Horrors, I'm quite well!! I hope you are too ^^
Oh wow, It's a bit hard to pick just a few because I've read a lot of SVSSS fics in the past few years, but here's the ones that came to mind/ I've been thinking about recently! (I'm excluding ones that I already recommended this week for the ask game, you can check out my "ask fish" tag to see those. Edit: I made a "fish recommends" tag too.)
Qijiu:
"i bury my voice for you" (series) by lithali. Space opera AU, Shen twins, everyone is aliens, intense qijiu longing, SJ’s unending font of angsty internal dialogue, and kinky qijiu sex feat transmasc SJ. I need more people to read this one!!!!!!!
"Palimpsest" by Azzandra. YQY loses his memories and tries to piece together how SJ fits in his life from what others tell him. I adore this fic, it's a really interesting examination of both their characters and why they love each other intrinsically. 
"You Were You, And I Was I" by MissMegh. Deaged qijiu being feral, clinging, and horny teenagers. Super cute and funny!
"what thing it is (that people most desire)" by Jinxed_Ink. A vaguely medieval AU based on an Arthurian legend where SJ disguises himself and blackmails YQY into marrying him for Revenge. SJ has Absolutely No Other Motive There. I didn't know how much I needed this particular brand of qijiu marriage shenanigans until I read it.
"I'm just as exposed (when i take off my clothes)" by owoxian. Qijjiu being weird and horny (as they deserve), being misinterpreted as abuse by accidental voyer MQF. 
"The Sect Leader’s Husband" by AMereDream. Canon divergence where YQY came back for SJ on time, and instead of becoming the QJP head disciple, SJ married YQY and became the power behind the throne. Cute power couple qijiu!!!
"The Heart Is A Sword" by Moonsheen. A-Su, a boy who is a sword, the emperor's weapon, is appointed personal attendant to the emperor's new consort Shen. PIDW post-canon.
Bingqiu:
"Rehearsal" by Prim_the_Amazing. Binghe, fresh from the abyss, uses a dream realm to run through all the ways his reunion with SQQ might go. This one is basically pure angst but it's SO good.
"How to Meal Prep - Household Tips, Recipes, and Ideas for a Better-Organised Life!" By x_los. Character study of 17-year-old preeminent housewife Binghe. It's cute, it's weird, and it's terribly tragic on account of the Dramatic Irony.
"Futility in Practice" by TGP. Time loop fic with a REALLY cool style of story telling. Repetitive but iterative text from Binghe, the non-looping character's POV as SQQ desperately tries to find the right answer to end the loop. Very angsty!
"it's not gay if you don't touch my ass ... unless?" by azunshi. Modern AU, SY wants to have sex with Binghe but ofc that would be gay, so instead he puts a cocksleeve up his ass for binghe to fuck instead. This fic is so deeply stupid (positive/complimentary), I love it, it's the exact brand of unhinged this whole fandom is slowlyy becoming.
"Songs of a Wayfarer" by foxflowering. Ballet AU with young prodigy LBH and his teacher SY! 
Binggeyuan:
"to find an intended (a bit unintentionally)" by nyoomerr. This is the classic. Wandering cultivator SY accidentally doms Bingge into being a good boy. 
"broken glass, swept away" by aaeph. Modern AU, SY buys a home only to find it haunted by the centuries old ghost of a demonic emperor. Bingge tries so hard to push SY away over and over, but SY is a stubborn man.
Jiuyuan:
"Jump To The Left" by ValiantBarnes (Cimila). I'm not sure quite how to describe this one without spoilers, but essentially, older Shen Yuan finds and saves SJ in the era he was following WYZ. SY takes SJ as a traveling companion/sort of disciple. CW for mentions of incest/psuedo-incest (no actual incest though).
"Immortal Shen Does Not Do Online Deliveries" by Anonymous. SY, a young cultivator and scholar, goes to ask the reclusive immoral master SQQ for an elixir. SQQ toys with him a little <3. Mean SQQ and flustered SY.
Gen/ No Ship:
"Rat Trap" by Azaisya. LQG & SJ. LQG and SJ are kidnapped, they get truth serum-ed, and they're forced to confront their different background and conflicting morals and methods that stem from that. I think this is my favorite execution of "LQG learns SJ's backstory and Has Regrets", because their conflict is explicitly framed as a class divide rather than just misunderstandings, and it addresses the flaws in both their resulting worldviews to some extent. 
"Sit With Your Soul" by Tossawary. SJ & SY. This is a fusion with His Dark Materials, but no knowledge is required. Basically everyone has an animal companion that's connected to and represents their soul, and SY transmigrates into SQQ's. 
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yowyowyaoi · 6 months ago
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Deidara's Daily Texts from the Akatsuki, Part Two
From Itachi:
I swear I'm not mad just give it back
You're STILL not over that?!
What are you even shaving? You don't have a single hair on your face!
Not my business who you date, just keep them from fighting all the time!
That's funny because Hidan said it was you, asshole.
I never ask you questions like that about Sasori, do I?!
You better hide, Kakuzu's going around collecting rent
God you're a worse gossip than Tobi!
I know it was you my whole room smells like clay!
That's a really lewd thing to say ... are you really hitting on me or are you just drunk off your ass?
Yeah but considering I use nothing in mine and you use like 200 products in yours, I'd say mine is better.
Stop it. You're not a pet person.
Okay can you just come with me? I don't ever ask you for favors do I?!
Pay me back what you owe me first.
From Hidan:
Yeah but I'm hotter. Like WAY hotter.
He loves to say stupid shit like that, he's not being serious.
Bet his dick is bigger tho.
That's literally the most stupid shit I've ever heard. We're MEANT to eat meat, fucker!
Yeah but if shark dick catches us he'll beat our asses and Kakuzu already said he's not putting me back together if it happens again!
I'll pray to Jashin for you, you pathetic atheist.
Let's get the fuck out of here and get something to eat. Kakuzu's sleeping I can swipe his wallet!
Me and you? In your DREAMS, kid. You couldn't handle this immortal dick.
Why tf would I care about that? Tits or not me and you are brothers, man.
Crablegs.
No, steak. Rare-rare. Still mooing.
Fuck a vegetable. Load it up with meat.
No wait corn is good but make sure it's seasoned with the meat blood.
That cunt did not beat my ass he caught me by surprise! I'll kill him next time I see his ugly face!
From Konan:
I don't remember my siblings so you all are it for me.
When a girl asks how old you think she is always answer like 10 years younger than you actually think! But seriously, 40?! FORTY??
Did you always know or did it take you a little bit to figure it out?
Rose petal or honeysuckle. Sometimes lilac if it's not too overwhelming.
It's a complicated situation for sure. They both feel something strongly for you but if my opinion counts? I'd stay with Sasori. At least you know what to expect from him, and I think he genuinely loves you.
I've narrowed it down to you or Hidan. If you confess I'll go easy on you. :-)
Please be gentler with him. He may hide it but he's gotten really fragile these last few months and he's in pain almost constantly.
Threatening to "beat people's asses" isn't my style. I go for the silent kill.
Wow, HE did that for YOU? That's interesting.
Take it up with Kakuzu. He's supposed to provide you all with extra money for exactly these types of things.
I would just do it, Dei. Be grateful your punishment is so light compared to what you did.
Are you two serious? You realize we're all trying our hardest NOT to attract negative attention?!
Perkier if it's chilly out ;)
I thought about it but I've had it this length for forever. It'd probably look weird long.
Only if you promise to sit still this time. I'm not gonna have you complain if it gets smudged again.
From Kakuzu
Brat. Stop.
I don't give a shit if you don't like him. He's valuable and this organization can't afford to lose him. So SUCK IT UP.
The waxing poetic was one thing but the actual poetry was nauseating.
That's coming out of your paycheck.
How is that an "emergency expense"?!
I don't care what you feel it is, "unfair" or not EVERYONE is expected to contribute to the bills. You use the lights? You pay. You take showers? You pay. You eat the food? You. PAY.
I know you two are friends. You have fairly good ideas about what he likes. Help me and I'll take off that debt you owe me from last month.
Sasori can do that for you, can't he??
Nice try, kid, but you still owe me. And you couldn’t handle my immortal love anyway.
From Tobi
I'd ask you to come with but Itachi thinks you'll try and blow him up while he's asleep.
Diabetes was just made up by assholes who don't want us to eat all the good sugar!
He's really so selfish he wouldn't let me borrow you for one night?
Hidan said it was you ...
I KNOW you like older men! Hey what if I told you I was 31, what then??
Of all the things that could be under this mask, why would "sharingan" be one of your guesses? That's ridiculous Senpai!
Come on Senpai! Leader would be mad at first but I think everyone would like a puppy!
Just tell him that you were only home 10 days this month so you should only have to pay 1/3 of the rent
If you want to but Hidan would probably call you a lot of names for wearing it
Marry me and I'll carry you everywhere all the time. It's a good deal!
Let's see if one of the others will trade with us, I hate going to really cold places
Try if you want to but Konan hit me so hard last time I saw stars for three days
Can you make me a bomb shaped like a scythe? Hidan is getting on my nerves.
From Zetsu
It's complicated, but everybody's blood has a distinct scent. Your's smells like lava and ash. It's very unique.
"Love" or not I'd watch my back, child. You'd make a prettier puppet for him than anyone else.
The years don't go by but centuries do.
Come now, you could have left SOME of those bodies in-tact for me!
I can't imagine that it would matter in the long run.
If you three don't stop attracting so much attention we'll have to pick up and move yet again!
I can tolerate human food but it doesn't compare to humans as food.
Neither. Neither of them is a suitable match for you. I'd run as far as I could from both of them.
Thank you for the offer but I don't believe your moisturizer would be effective on my plant skin.
No, not especially. Things are much the same to me.
If Kakuzu said no then there's no point in asking Leader. Kakuzu holds the money with an iron fist and Nagato has never once interfered with his decisions.
A bit more rest and some decent food would do you a world of good.
From Nagato
Then I must not understand true art because all I can see is property damage and unwanted negative attention being drawn towards our organization.
I understand your frustration but please continue to work with him. I need Sasori to stay here and you're the only one Tobi will listen to.
Oh? It seems it may be time I had a talk with you young ones then.
I see no need for further recruits.
Yes, thank you. Konan used it on my hair and it worked wonderfully.
I'm aware you don't like him but please endeavor to coexist in this group with him. Also remember how precarious his health is before you pull another stunt like the one you and Hidan did yesterday.
I won't stand in the way of your personal goals but surely you realize how extreme self-detonation sounds?
I got you all these phones as a way to communicate efficiently with your partners and with the entire group over long distances. NOT to play games. Kakuzu tells me the phone bill is $200 over it's usual amount due to unathorized games and extra features. If this keeps up I'll take them back.
Next time please be sure you're checking who you're sending explicit pictures to. I assume that was meant only for Sasori's eyes? Now I have Tobi and two others ready to kill him to be your partner.
From Kisame
I shouldn't admit it but it WAS very funny.
But what would be the purpose? Samehada steals chakra, aesthetics don't matter.
I can't tell the future but I can guess that if he's stayed this long, then he probably means to stay with you for life.
Yeah well if one more "accidentally" goes off under his window while he's napping I'm going to make a sandwich of your fingers, kid.
I suppose that would be fun but good luck getting the money from Kakuzu.
I can't even imagine the lives they live. It's really more merciful for them that we extract their demon and send them to the afterlife.
Our relationship is so much more than that but all you immature brats ever ask about is the sex aspect. Shameful.
There's no way he bought that fresh, I can smell it all the way back in my room!
Wear your cloak and perhaps borrow Sasori's as well, it's extremely windy and chilly.
Have you considered a haircut, maybe? Or to dye it black like my Itachi's?
Lol relax it was a joke, no need for threats.
From Sasori
I did get them. Beautiful, but Kakuzu would kill you if he knew you were using these phones for such lewd purposes.
A "magic cure" doesn't beat eating right, going to bed at a decent hour, and exercising once in a while, brat.
Funny how they all think I'M the pervert here when YOU'RE the one who came at ME so aggressively. Brat.
I can think of a much better use for all of those pretty mouths of yours, Dei. Come see me and I'll show you what I mean.
Maybe I need to get you a dictionary for Christmas. Because you STILL don't seem to understand what "covert" and "stealth" mean.
Yeah well you nearly dying because of your own carelessness isn't what I'd call fun. So stop it before I end you myself.
I would never.
"<3" is not a heart. I don't care what idiots say. A real human heart is NOT shaped like that. I'll bring you one of my anatomy textbooks so you can see for yourself.
Yes, I suppose. But don't make it a habit please.
Your breathing sounded strange. Come see me for a checkup. Now.
I don't care for when he sends us on missions to cold places. Bad for you and puts a lot of wear on Hiroku.
Trust me, you DO snore. Like a steam engine.
Why you can't simply ignore him, I'll never understand.
Your eating habits are atrocious, brat.
You're quite the silly one, aren't you?
Mm. You know it's not in me to be jealous. But. If I *ever* see him touch you like that again it'll be the last time his fucking hand is attached to his body. You're MINE.
It's just baffling to me that you won't do it. You'd be the centerpiece of the entire collection! Come on I KNOW you love attention!
I wouldn't trust Hidan around something like that.
Goodnight, my sweet prince. See you in the morning ... if the poison doesn't take you out :-)
As per the Inbox request of @tulipunainenruusu 😊
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fitzs-trained-monkey · 2 years ago
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Hi!!! I saw in your description that requests were open and I was wondering if it would be possible to request some headcanons or something of Kol with an autistic reader (if not really anything fluffy with Kol would be awesome!) Your fics are always amazing and have honestly become a part of my happy and cozy routine (along with a nice cup of hot chocolate and some cookies!) Thank you so much for being such an amazing author and for sharing your writing with us, this fandom is super lucky to have you!
Forever On My Mind
Kol Mikaelson x autistic!reader headcanons || Here lies my Masterlist
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A/N: Okay, Annon? Whoever you are, I want you to know that you are the sweetest little bean alive and I adore you. What am I even supposed to do when I get an ask like this? Not cry from sheer overwhelming feels? I don't think so! I adore you, keep being your amazing self and I hope this makes you happy.
First of all, can I just say couple goals?
Seriously, you two are the epitome of love and understanding in a relationship.
You first saw Kol in a coffee shop where you confused him by purchasing hot chocolate. You noticed him but you were way too shy to actually start a conversation. (I mean, come on. The dude is so pretty. How are the rest of us even supposed to approach?)
So, it was a little odd when you started seeing him every day. 
He would always sit in the corner opposite to your spot. Sometimes you would catch him watching you and you were a little creeped out by that at first but then he smiled and waved and that put you at ease a little bit. Besides, he never followed you so it was fine. 
One day, though you were still too shy to actually talk to the guy, you walked right up to him and wordlessly held out a handful of bunny-shaped marshmallows. See, the boy never had any marshmallows in his drink and you thought that was a shame. You always brought some with you so you figured it would be nice to share. 
That was the moment Kol fell for you. 
In his eyes, you are the most adorable human being on the planet. 
All your quirks and habits never annoy him and he's always there to help you with anything you may need. 
He always makes sure you take your medication. Always. 
Cuddles? YES. 
If touch is kinda a big thing for you then even though he'll probably deny just how much he loves it at first, Kol is 100% living for your hugs.
Also, he trusts your judgment which is HUGE for him. Whether it's what movie you should watch or what is or is not a good idea, Kol actually trusts that you know what you're talking about because you're usually right.
You may have two left feet, but he loves dancing with you. Dancing has never been your strength, but Kol always makes you feel like you're walking on air. He makes you feel pretty and graceful.
Like this guy is seriously so soft.
People often get annoyed with you, but not him.
"Do you maybe want to watch a movie? It's okay if you're busy. I can go, it's no problem."
"Darling, I am one thousand years old and immortal. You are physically incapable of wasting my time. A movie sounds brilliant. I'll grab some popcorn. What do you want to watch?"
When you stim, Kol finds it absolutely adorable. Most of the time, when he sees you wringing your hands or jumping in place, he has to resist the urge to rush over to you and kiss you senseless. Seriously, it's so bloody cute! What's he supposed to do??
Hyperfixations may come and go, but Kol is always more than happy to join along for the ride. Anything that catches your interest is sure to be fun. 
He understands that you have a schedule and even though he is the most spontaneous person probably ever, he always does his best to ensure your days remain somewhat consistent. If that's not possible, then rest assured he'll notify you of any changes. Consider yourself lucky because nobody else will ever get a warning from him.
Kol delights in anyone who can make him feel just a little bit stupid. So your ability to pick up on patterns no one else seems to notice never fails to blow him away. He's fascinated by your lateral form of thinking. 
You catch things no one else does and he's more than grateful for your thorough approach to just about everything. Whereas he would probably just rush in, you're there to point out that: "No sweetheart, that's a trap."
Sometimes you repeat things, usually random facts, when nervous or excited but he never gets upset over it. Kol will tell you if you've already said something but he's never demeaning about it. Honestly, he's kind of amazed you can fit so much knowledge in your pretty little head when all those facts do not pertain to one another in the slightest. 
Now, it does take him a while to get over his passive-aggressive attitude because… well he's Kol.
When he talks, you're often left trying to figure out whether or not he was being rude. It's common for you to overthink his words.
He's always quick to reassure you though.
"Hey, with what you said earlier, did you mean-"
"Nope. Still love you."
Yeah, "I love you" gets passed around a lot. Not vocally, however. Usually, it's three taps. A little signal for when you forget to say it. Three taps on his arm to remind him that you care. He always returns the gesture. Even in his sleep.
Even though both of you often forget to actually say it out loud, those three simple words are pretty evident in everything you do.
Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln@r13mar@rootbeerfaygo @iiskittles16ii @fandomrulesall-blog @dark-night-sky-99 @railingsofsorrow @apolloroid @thatweirdoleigh @misswe03 @eat-cake @felinegrate @cute-freak27 @fayeatheart @archangelslollipop @aonungs-tsahik @sleepneverheardofher @heartbreakgrill @whatsupb18 @enchantedlandcoffee @trikigirl271 @dreamingwithrafe @her-violent-delights @witchcraftandgeekness
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