scaredshadowsswap

[scaredshadowsswap]

hello hello I love your stuff so much! how would each staff respond to being pranked? would they prank back? tattle?

Thanks! I love writing stuff so it works out great!

Clef:

The one piece of advice with Clef is don’t dish out what you can’t take. Clef’s response to being pranked would be considered a grand overreaction, and even the most minor of pranks would have him responding with a prank that could ruin your week, month, year, or life depending on how generous he’s feeling. Clef would not fight in a prank war, he would end the prank war immediately. That being said, you can prank Clef, he won’t tattle. He may or may not kill you, so be careful (we all know what happened with that D-Class Costume Party). It also depends on how well he knows you and if he sees you as an asset. If you prank him without knowing him well, it better be a damn funny prank or you’re not going to survive his counter-attack. Clef would be willing to “team up” in a prank war against someone else, but it would just be him sending you to go do his dirty work.

Kondraki:

Kondraki does not like pranks, don’t try it. He won’t tattle on you, but I just feel like he would have no issue holding you up against a wall by your collar and bashing your head in on it. I imagine Draven tried to prank him once, and was lectured for hours and grounded for weeks. He’s no snitch, but by the end of it, you’ll probably wish he was. Kondraki would absoutely not form an alliance with you in a prank war, and would fight anyone in participation.

Gears:

Why would you prank someone with no emotions who is so high-ranking? Like it’s an option, but not a good one. In terms of what he’d do, I don’t think it would be interesting. He’d call you in for questioning, call witnesses, and file a full-fledged incident report. Then, he’d let HR decide on an outcome. I don’t know if he can tattle to anyone since he’s at the top, but it would probably be the most boring outcome, until you find yourself mysteriously on 82 different mailing lists, all which send you daily emails…

Iceberg:

I feel like Ice would try to start a prank war and would want to have some fun rivalry going on, but he just doesn’t get pranks? Like, he’ll try to get back at you, but what he does just isn’t as funny. Like instead of moving your furniture three inches to the left, the he’d just throw a cup of water at you in passing, which would make anyone who sees it in passing just think he’s an asshole. He’s not trying to be, he just really wants to participate in a prank war with someone. Feel free to team up with him against another group of people, as long as you come up with the prank ideas. He’d be more than happy to help you execute your plans against other people, and would have a lot of ideas for how to better your pranks.

Shaw:

It’s a blast. Shaw is the reigning champ of prank wars, and has had ones that go on for months with Clef. Shaw has had so much time to come up with new pranks, and can reuse old pranks when people die, so they have a ton of material. Shaw is also nice to prank because they’ll match the intensity of your prank and won’t go much past it. Occasionally, a prank will push the boundaries, but when that happens, it is Shaw’s way of trying to egg you on to continue the battle. Usually, someone just kinda stops or you both will call a truce (for the time being), but once Shaw knows that you find pranks funny, they won’t really hesitate to prank you again. You may team up against someone sometimes, but Shaw holds no alliances and is really just doing this for fun.

Glass:

It depends on the nature of the prank. Glass will take harmless pranks in stride and enjoy them, but he is more aware than anyone else that not all pranks are harmless. Hurting someone’s self-esteem is a no-no for him, and so are any pranks that result in physical injuries. So, he might laugh if you wrap all his pens in wrapping paper, but he would not be a fan of someone ordering a singing telegram as a joke at his expense. Surprisingly, even with tame pranks, Glass will not prank you back. I think Glass is too concerned that his actions may hurt someone, so he will be unwilling to partake in your prank wars or join a team to prank someone else. If it goes too far, Glass’s reputation could be ruined, and he is not willing to do that when so many people trust him.

Rights:

When I talk about “prank alliances” forming in other people’s, I’m talking about Rights. She’ll form a prank alliance with someone to pull off some pretty crazy pranks, which’ll mean you may also need a partner to match her level. She does value her work, so I don’t recommend messing with that, but she’s okay with modertate-intensity pranks generally. She doesn’t really like long prank wars like Shaw, and prefers hers to last a week or so but not much longer. She will definitely ask for your help, maybe even if you’re a stranger. She has a ton of fun with these and likes to use it to bond with some coworkers.

Strelnikov:

It depends but generally not recommended. He won’t tattle on you, but he probably won’t find it very funny, and it’s not as fun if the person you’re pranking doesn’t really think it’s funny. He doesn’t get upset, he’s just completely stoic about it, and will maybe give you a look, but not much else. He wouldn’t really participate in prank wars because 1.) he’s the leader of an MTF, anyone below him wouldn’t dare, and 2.) people got sick of him not really finding it funny. His lack of reaction has really dissuaded people from pranking him, and he probably wouldn’t join your prank alliance simply because it’s not really his sense of humor.

[scaredshadowsswap]

are you the author gears?

Hi! To answer this question simply: Nope.

I know the author for good ol’ COG got cancer a while back, and I also got cancer and have since recovered as much as one can, but unfortunately that’s where the similarities end. One defining feature is that I’m an 18-year-old girl, and when Gears came around, I would’ve been 2, which is why I understand the age-restriction that was recently placed onto SCP, because the original fanbase is old. However, I like to think about it that I’m going to be a part of wherever the SCP Foundation goes from here, and I hope that holds true. Gears, or the author of Gears, is an incredible writer and definitely someone I look up to, and I really hope that someday I can mimic that or find my own style that works well for SCP.

[scaredshadowsswap]

hi! I wanna ask how good each of the personnel would be at comforting ^^

This one is rough, because in a place known for being cold and clinical, it’d be hard to find someone to comfort you. I think some personnel have strengths and weaknesses.

Clef:

Clef isn’t good at comforting himself, so they might not be great at comforting others. He definitely won’t address the issue, but will instead try to outwit you and “prove” that your issue isn’t too bad. If you just need some comfort just because, Clef’s pretty funny sometimes, so I think they’d be able to comfort you that way.

The only time he will ever make a real attempt at comforting you is if you’re severely injured. He might try to make it sound like he doesn’t care, to keep you from worrying, but if both of you know that your injuries are life-threatening, Clef might just drop the act for a little bit.

Kondraki:

There is a correct amount of drunk that Kondraki has to be to be “comforting” in any sense of the word. If he’s sober, he’ll be an asshole. If he’s fully drunk, he’ll be an asshole. In fact, I think he might just be an asshole, and he won’t deal with any of your “emotional bullshit”. He knows that he’s messed up in his brain somewhere, but he can do his job just fine, so he doesn’t see why it matters. He is, however, willing to help people with severe physical injuries, so if you have a sprained ankle or something, he’ll get you physical help.

If you’re severely wounded, Kondraki will try to fight death itself. He doesn’t see a point to just giving up, and he will shove combat gauze into whatever wound you have until there’s none left. To him, it’s more about the physical stuff.

Gears:

Gears tries his best, okay? The issue is that even if he says the right thing, he has trouble saying it the right way. Even if he does sympathize with you, you’ll have a tough time telling. He gives good, objective advice, so if you’re in need of that, he’s a good person to turn to, but if you’re looking for someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry, he’s not your guy.

In the event of a physical injury…he still wouldn’t be able to comfort you very well. “The wound is surface-level” is the most comfort you’ll receive. I don’t think his medical skills would be great, but he would stay there with you until someone else got there.

Iceberg:

Ice is either incredibly cold, or has the passion of a thousand suns depending on how close you are to him. If he doesn’t know you very well, he won’t comfort you and might actually make you feel worse. If you are friends, he’ll actually be decent at comforting you. If you complain about someone, he’ll aggressively complain about them too to match your energy, or just listen. Because he works for Gears, he’s very in-tune with what people want based on microexpressions.

He’d feel incredibly guilty if you were injured by one of his explosive tests, and would probably like send cards to the hospital every day until you got out. He’ll try to comfort you with gifts, even if he feels too guilty to face you.

Shaw:

She’s a decent one to turn to. On one hand, They have all the life experience, so they’d probably be the most in-tune with how you’re feeling, even if your thinking is illogical. On the other, Shaw has experienced more than you, so he’ll probably also need you to comfort him, sometimes, which is hard to do when you know you’ll never experience eternity. The two of you will make the most progress over tea or something like that, just a chill time to connect. She’ll be somewhat willing to hug you if you ask, but isn’t super fond of physical touch because if 963 accidentally touches you…you’re toast, and Shaw would have trouble living with that.

If you’re injured, Shaw wouldn’t be great. I mean, he’s developed a nonchalant opinion of wounds, because he can go get another body. So, basically, Shaw is destigmatized to injuries, for the most part. They’d stay there, but Shaw is more of an emotionally comforting person than a physically comforting one.

Glass:

Glass is a therapist, he’d be pretty darn good at comforting you. He’d actually be really excited if you willingly book an extra session, because he’s so used to dealing with people (like everyone else on this list…) who are violent and aggressive towards him during therapy. He would absolutely try to help you work through whatever problem you have, no matter how menial it is. Glass will give good advice that’s not exactly objective, but it takes into account your feelings.

If you’re physically injured, Glass will panic. He knows all the medical training, but actual injuries, especially bad ones, freak him out. However, he’s willing to help you get through it any way possible.

Rights:

She’s a lovely woman, really, and good at comforting you. Sometimes you’ll get the hard truth from her, but she seems to know what she’s talking about, and is generally very smart. She’ll help you get through tough times by being direct, even if what she says isn’t exactly what you want to hear. She is the most real person at the Foundation, so if you’re looking for someone who has kept their emotions in tact, it’d be her.

Injuries-wise, I think she’d fall right in the middle with her ability to deal with injuries. She can hold her own, but a lot of other people can do it better. Don’t worry though, she’ll keep you cognitively there and reassure you throughout the whole thing.

Strelnikov:

I think he’d be okay at comforting people over events. Not like a “it’s okay, we’ll get through this”, but more like a “Hey. Chin up,” with a hand on your shoulder kinda guy. He is definitely willing to comfort anyone on his MTF, sometimes with words and sometimes with vodka. There’s no way around the awful things MTF members have to do, but he’d probably be there for you. I say this tentatively, but I think he’d be willing to hug another personnel member if they asked him to and he was to some extent drunk.

If you’re injured, he’s quite good at high-stress medical care. He’ll patch you up well enough to take you to someone else who can take care of you. He will not say a word to you, he’s lost in focus, so don’t expect any comfort from him there. He’s notoriously bad at low-stress medical care, so if you’re injured on the ride back to the Foundation and there’s no inherent danger, ask someone else, because he is only good at getting people “good enough.” If you end up in the hospital, he’ll come visit you at least once and talk to you.

[scaredshadowsswap]

(I hope my English is as understandable as possible) I'm embarrassed to ask this but I was constantly asked how the SCP staff would react If they meet an androgynous person for the first time D:

Your english was great! I actually have a lot of ideas for this at the moment, but this is the first time I’ve gotten a request, so it might not come out right. I wrote this generally as the non-binary or genderfluid type of androgynous, but I think it applies just the same to people who just look androgynous :)

Clef:

Clef is probably pretty understanding, but that doesn’t make you exempt from one-liners that cross the line. I imagine Clef will make a lot of pop-culture references, so there’ll be no direct insults, but you may be called the names of famous androgynous people. Be prepared to answer to Annie Lennox or Boy George at least once. No matter your identity, he’ll call you the name of whoever your hair is closest to. Since you’re the first androgynous person Clef meets, you’ll be hearing it a lot, since he has no one else to tease. However, Clef’s insults are not reflective of their opinions, because Clef insults everyone. I think he’d almost like working with an androgynous person more? To Clef, your appearance would be a plus in certain field ops and Foundation situations, so Clef’d probably want you on their MTF.

If you work directly under Clef, he’d be fun and terrifying, just like normal. He’d definitely have an issue with anyone who made fun of your appearance and was serious about their comments, but he’d find a roundabout way of scarring them mentally for life :)

Kondraki:

If it was just seeing you in passing, Kondraki wouldn’t care. If it was working with you, I don’t even know if he’d notice. Kondraki is notoriously bad at names, which makes me think he’s probably also not great at faces. He seems like the type of guy who would take 4 months to notice your hair is firetruck red, so I wouldn’t worry about Kondraki at all. He only cares about if you are hardworking, if you’ll do his paperwork for him, and if you’ll change the coffee filter.

That being said, you’re the first androgynous person Kondraki is meeting. Since you look different from most of the people he works with, he’d probably love taking pictures of you because you’re a unique muse for photos.

Iceberg:

Iceberg will absolutely open the conversation with an insult about your appearance. How you respond will determine how he views you, almost like he was testing you. For best results, answer calmly, confidently, and do not reply with another insult, as he seems quite sensitive. His “Why do you look so weird?” would best be countered with a simple “I don’t know, but I like it!” or something along those lines. He will probably roll his eyes and not say anything else, but he will speak to you again in the future. However, I don’t think Iceberg would have an issue with you looking androgynous at all. I think he’s lacking a filter, and will say whatever pops to mind in a sort of mean way. He was simply acknowledging that you look different to what he is used to, but I think he’d like the style. If you end up becoming friends, he may begin to emulate aspects of your style. He would definitely gift you a scarf sometime to see you you’d style it so he could copy it for future reference.

Gears:

Gears is a short one because he wouldn’t care, or at least, he wouldn’t let anyone know. He is cold, reserved, and respectful, and treats you exactly the same as he treats most researchers. Even if you were working directly below him and he got closer to you, I don’t think he’d acknowledge your appearance except to tie it back to work. “Your hair is a mess, I suggest sleeping at your apartment tonight instead of on a couch” or something like that. Never a comment he wouldn’t make to someone else. However, I think he’d compliment you if you ever changed your hair/makeup/wardrobe, so he definitely notices and thinks positively of it.

Shaw:

Shaw would LOVE it. She’s been genderfluid for a very long time due to 963, so it would probably be a shock to them when they saw a person who looked gender-neutral and/or androgynous. But, it would be a pleasant surprise. He’d probably invite you to tea sometime or some sort of poker event, but you two are besties for the resties.

Shaw would definitely confide in you about their issues related to 963 very quickly, but they’re a decent judge of character and wouldn’t overwhelm you with their struggles. She will absolutely recruit you into her pranks, and sometimes play some on you.

Rights:

Rights would also love you, but it’s because she’d have so many ideas. She’s fashionable, and would have so much fun giving you ideas, whether it be for an everyday casual office outfit, or a formal suit or dress. If you worked directly with Rights, she’d be very low drama with you.

Glass:

Glass is a therapist, so he’ll probably be pretty happy to see that you are doing something that makes you comfortable. He might be able to give you advice on how to deal with some other staff who aren’t as accepting. Glass is a pretty short one because I can’t imagine him caring about your appearance past making sure that you felt comfortable in your skin.

Strelnikov:

Strelnikov…He’s from Russia. I think of Kondraki as traditional, but Kondraki is from Massachusetts, and Strelnikov is actually from Russia, and I think it would take him some time to get used to it. He calls all the male nurses “babies”, so I wouldn’t expect very much from this man.

If you’re hoping for any respect from him, you’ve already raised your standards too high. He may try to pull your records to find your sex at birth, he may snoop through your apartment, but he will not play fair or kindly. He might make comments about it, but at the very least, he won’t talk about you behind your back. Every comment he ever makes about you will be to your face. He might come around…three years later…

[scaredshadowsswap]

When I was 15, I had a severe allergic reaction that changed my life forever. I went from being able to have a little almond without dying to not being able to be in the same room as an almond. What I’ve never told anyone is that I had that reaction on purpose. It was the day before my 16th birthday, and 16 seemed like such a milestone year, and I wasn’t ready to leave behind my childhood, so I thought I could save myself some sadness if I just put an end to everything, leaving myself in childhood for eternity.

That isn’t what happened. As I was struggling to breathe after eating 7 almonds, I thought about how hard my body was trying to fight off this intruder, because that’s how much it cared about me. It was fighting so hard, and it just couldn’t figure out why it was losing. I now feel like that’s what life is like. Blindly fighting to protect what’s important, not realizing that sometimes those moments are long gone. But, even though my thoughts couldn’t have pity for my consciousness, I had pity for the cells that make up my body. I stumbled down the stairs and made it look like a midnight snack gone wrong. My parents used my epi-pen, we went and sat in the emergency room for a few hours, and then I went back to school the next day.

Then, on my birthday, everything felt okay for a short moment. I wasn’t happy, but I wished on my cake that I’d never do that ever again, and I’ve upheld that promise. Even when my medication caused severe mood swings and I was having so much trouble, I couldn’t even consider hurting myself like that ever again. And yeah, I permanently altered my body, but I am genuinely so thankful every time I feel a tickle in my throat from being around a treenut, because I’m still alive to feel pain and love and all those things I was so scared of. I hang an almond blossom (encased in resin, to be safe) from my backpack to remind myself that the end is a new beginning.

To anyone who saw my last post that has been taken down, I apologize that you saw my mental break. I was on a medication that caused some serious problems for me. However, the reason I’ve shared this story is to show who I am and what I’ve done so far. Unfortunately, I probably won’t post here very often anymore. That is because I’ve turned 18 as of Friday. I’m now old enough to post on the SCP Wiki, which has been my biggest motivator on some of my toughest days. As harsh as the community can be, I don’t want to be anywhere else. So, I won’t be posting here often, because I’m hoping to submit my greenlight proposal within the week for my first SCP. Thank you all.

[scaredshadowsswap]

Sometimes I’m just sitting there, and then my parents bring up a fic that they’re reading, and then I’m reminded that, oh yeah, my parents read fanfiction.

[scaredshadowsswap]

Hey y’all, I’m cancer-free now, so I’m gonna try to get back into writing random headcanons again. Today, it’s SCP Personnel and the hobbies I think they’d have.

Clef

Clef seems like he’d be an annoyingly fast learner, which means his hobbies switch fast. One week he might be cooking, but as soon as he gets good at it, he’s gonna learn blindfolded axe throwing or something else until he gets good at that. He has a very wide skill set, especially in combat, but he can’t really stick with anything for very long. The only hobby he consistently has is movies. He watches movies and references them all the time, and hopefully you’ve seen the movie because the references convey important information. He’s also really well-read, and will make references to well known classics as well, but he usually saves those references for people he thinks are stupid and won’t understand them.

Kondraki

Kondraki is determined. Once he gets good at something, he wants to stick with it more and get better. Besides photography, he composes music. He played cello in high school, but doesn’t really play anything anymore and instead just writes music that he thinks would sound good. He also, on occasion, goes birdwatching. If anyone gives him shit about it, he will bash their skull in, but he finds birdwatching to be a nice thing to do, especially on a cold morning as the sun is just coming up and almost everyone is still asleep. He’ll take a cup of coffee with him and just watch the sky for a little bit before he has to go to work.

Shaw

What hobbies can an immortal have? All of them! Shaw speaks almost 50 languages, plays 11 instruments, and studied astronomy for a good 20 years. However, most of their hobbies are from earlier, when being immortal still seemed cool. Nowadays, Shaw is just majorly depressed and doesn’t have the mental energy to keep doing new stuff. Thinking all the time like that gets exhausting. One thing they still like doing, though, is hosting parties. They invite whoever they damn well please on the given day, and it never gets old. Shaw knows that these people are good friends, and someday they’ll be dead, so Shaw wants as many memories with them as he can get.

Glass

Glass sometimes feels like the Foundation Staff’s punching bag, and it sucks. His way of managing his feelings is through golf. He golfs, and he is really damn good at it too. Probably could’ve won some local competitions, if he was allowed to participate. He finds it relaxing to be outside in the fresh air, and therapeutic to swing a golf club. Unfortunately, it’s hard to get permission to leave the Site and go golfing during his weekends and off-days, so he jogs when he can. He’s said he’d like to pick up tennis, but you need an opponent, and it’d be weird to play your therapist in a game of tennis.

Iceberg

Iceberg’s hobby is explosives, but I think he likes baking. The warm oven offsets how cold he feels, so he used to just have the oven running whenever he was home. He likes sweets and desserts, so he decided that he might as well learn how to make cookies, and it took off from there. He’s good at it, but he’s also insecure about being perceived as “doing girly stuff”, so he doesn’t usually share the things he makes with people. He’ll usually drop off a birthday cake for people on their birthdays, but he’ll say he bought it at a local bakery or something.

Gears

Gears was always fascinated by calligraphy, but it took him a really long time to get good at it. He doesn’t have time to practice hobbies like that when he’s busy running the largest Site the Foundation has. He also likes cooking, and unlike his assistant, he’s very open to sharing food. He doesn’t really express contentment through words or expressions, but he will occasionally give food he made to the people he trusts. He’d be really good at baking if he tried due to his excellent precision, but he doesn’t like things that are too sweet, so he sticks to cooking.

Strelnikov

Strelnikov likes climbing trees and seeing if anyone notices him. To him, it’s a measure of stealth, and he likes to play a game and see how much he can learn about a person from at the top of a tree. People find this very creepy. He also can play the acoustic guitar, but he doesn’t know anything about music theory, he just kinda knows how the song is supposed to sound.

[scaredshadowsswap]

SCP Personnel and Snooping

In the SCP Foundation, there are loads of secrets, and it’s natural to be curious. However, not every senior researcher will let you view information above your clearance. Here’s what I think you could get away with.

Clef

Clef is tough. You can hypothetically get away with anything, but he won’t make it too easy. If you ask him personally, he’ll give you a different answer every time, and any version of his stories could be true. If you try to use his clearance to view something, he might laugh and help you, or he might report you. His motives are…generally unclear, so while you could hypothetically figure something out, think about how he could possibly react. You’ll probably eventually realize that he is a very clever manipulator, and will say whatever he can to try and prevent you from searching for information not meant for you. By the time you realize, it’ll probably have worked. He’s not gonna react the way you think he will, but consider how me might react anyway. Don’t think for a moment that he believes that you’ve “punished yourself enough by learning this” or any of that garbage. If you screw up, he’ll come up with some creative punishment on top of the paralyzing fear or whatever natural consequence came of it. If he thinks you’re prying for something that extends beyond the realm of “being curious”, he might shoot you right then and there. For example, looking for SCP-001 is just basic curiosity, and he’ll stop that soon enough. Looking into MTF dockets and reading every piece of information on them is suspicious, and you will die. You have no reason to be there. Also, if the Foundation ever figures out, he’s not gonna get in trouble for your actions. He’d most likely lie if it paints him in a better light. He’ll sit back and laugh as you get demoted.

Kondraki

Kondraki is known for water cooler gossip, so he gets how enticing information like that can be. He probably won’t care at all and won’t try to stop you, unless you put him at risk of getting in trouble. Things like using his clearance or looking through his desk will get you in trouble for sure. Other than that, go wild. He’s definitely found out stuff he wasn’t supposed to, so he’s not gonna get upset if you do the same. However, he’s not gonna help you run from the consequences of your actions, either. Whatever the consequences are, you get to deal with them by yourself. Kondraki takes a very “hands-off” approach to this, which gives him deniability. He didn’t see you do anything, he won’t say anything. One of his earlier assistants died after looking at a cognitohazard. When he was interviewed, Kondraki simply stated: “Dr. ████ fucked around. Dr. ████ found out.”

Gears

Gears will absolutely not help you learn anything you’re not supposed to. The Assistant Director of Site-19 did not get there by being lenient with restrictions. That being said, I’m not sure Gears would catch on that easily to what you’re doing. He’s generally emotionless, which doesn’t mean he can’t read others’ emotions, but it means he could miss tiny details that make you look suspicious. With Clef and Kondraki, there’s no way you could hide the fact that you’re looking into Foundation secrets. With Gears, he would probably miss it, whether that be due to his ability to comprehend emotions or sleep deprivation. Just don’t get caught, and you’ll be okay.

Glass

Glass is reporting you and then firing you immediately. I’m not actually sure if he has the power to fire anyone, but he will make sure it happens. The reason is simply because the information he works with is heavily confidential, and although it can be accessed in some situations, Glass’s morals stand strong. Unless he gets a direct order demanding anything else, he keeps strict confidentiality on what his patients tell him. You accessing any of his files is a huge breach of trust for his patients, and even if the specific file wasn’t confidential, there is no way Glass’ll trust you enough to work with you anymore. If you’re trying to figure out something about an SCP…why? You don’t work with them. If it’s an SCP, Glass’ll probably just talk to you. Maybe he’ll file an incident report, but at least he won’t think that you’re breaking the trust of others.

Shaw

Shaw will outright tell you stuff you don’t have clearance for. Considering they have clearance to pretty much everything, you just need to ask. However, you’ll probably have to explain why you wanted to know, and that can get embarrassing sometimes. If they’re putting you with Shaw, they’re expecting you to keep them in check a little, so you probably wouldn’t be the snooping type to begin with. Shaw doesn’t really report to anyone, so go wild I guess. It’s up to them if you get in trouble, and I don’t think Shaw would do anything unless you were acting super suspicious.

Strelnikov

It’s hard to find out any information as a researcher. As a Task Force member? They don’t even tell you vital info about the things you’re trying to contain. Strelnikov won’t report you for looking at stuff not meant for your eyes, but don’t think for a moment that he’s okay with it. He believes firmly in loyalty, and that loyalty means blind trust sometimes. If you’re looking at files above your clearance and he catches you, he’ll assume you don’t trust him or the other agents on your team. How can he trust you if you don’t trust him? Your next missions will be dangerous because he doesn’t trust you.

Rights

Rights is gonna be disappointed. She’ll be calm about it, but she’ll probably put restrictions onto your electronics and stuff. She may or may not fill out a report depending on what you looked at, but she’ll tell her friends about what you did, so you’ll have to deal with random people knowing what SCP you were researching. If you looked at the MTF dockets for information on an agent you had a crush on? You’d never live it down. Shaw would loudly proclaim your love in the cafeteria, and then everyone would know. Regardless, she gets where you’re coming from, but you need to understand that the rules are in place for a reason, so do not expect any help from her when you’re trying to break them.

[scaredshadowsswap]

What do you guys do that makes being an adult worth it? I’m looking for serious answers, because for the past 6 years, I planned on doing something to ensure I wouldn’t ever turn 18, but now 18 is rapidly approaching and I’m not sure that’s what I want anymore. I want to know what lies ahead, because I feel like I missed my childhood and I feel like it only gets worse from here. Someone help me out, I need to know what is good about being an adult, because it seems like all adults’ fondest memories are of being a kid, which makes it seem like there isn’t anything good afterwards.

The only answers I’ve ever gotten are

“oh, you’ll have money” To spend on what? Bills? I’d take happy childhood memories over an object any day, even something I like such as lego.

“You won’t have homework” I gave up all my free time doing extra homework, that is the ONLY thing I’m good at.

I need someone or something to assure me that this is all worth it.

[scaredshadowsswap]

Something that I’ve never seen talked about is how terrible it would be to be a woman at the SCP Foundation.

If you look at the Personnel docket, you’ll see it’s mostly men. That is not inherently a problem, but a lot of the characters written as masculine…are creepy.

Like, if you asked Clef for pronouns, you’d probably get a response like “My pronouns are daddy/[moan]”, and then you’re stuck in this weird position. You can call Clef by he or they pronouns since that’s less embarrassing and you know Clef was messing with you, but then you’ll be berated by Clef for not respecting pronouns. Or, you can call Clef daddy, which’ll get some weird reactions from whoever you’re talking to.

Or Strelnikov? If a woman was in Epsilon-5 “Red Dawn”, he’d probably be pretty vocal about his opinions of having women on the team. As shown in his Personnel File, he calls all male nurses “babies”, and I can imagine he has a very long rant prepared about that and this. As shown in his handbook, he is clueless about women. He also seems like a very traditional Russian, which brings with it the slavic gender roles. Women are expected to be subdued, which means you’d be dealing with a lot of sexism from this man, until you manage to prove to him that he’s wrong.

Iceberg too. He just seems very much like an incel, and you’d have to deal with that. Luckily, there’s no way for you to work under him like you would with Strelnikov or Clef since he’s already Gears’s assistant, but if you ever sit near him during lunch or something, it seems so uncomfortable. If you sit near him every day during lunch, he may eventually warm up to you and internalize you as “one of the good ones”, which…is still not good, but better I guess?

The others I usually write about seem better, but with these being some of the most well-known characters in the SCP Foundation, I can only imagine what craziness you’d deal with when interacting with some lesser-known personnel.

[scaredshadowsswap]

SCP Headcanons about Site-19

[These are kinda silly, but it’s what I need right now. In true fanfiction writer style, I got diagnosed with cancer (: We think it’s just in my thyroid which is about as good as it gets (94% survival rate if I remember correctly?) but…yeah, I’m not doing good.]

-The stairs up to the main entrance are (jokingly?) dubbed anomalous because every year, exactly one person breaks both their legs from tripping on them. Outside of that, nobody has ever gotten a even scrape on those stairs, not even the poor researcher who fell down the entire flight. For the past three years, it’s been Dr. Gerald who broke his legs. Gerald is only at Site-19 for maybe 20 days out of the year, so it’s quite impressive he can manage that. Once, he broke both his legs falling up the stairs, but his streak doesn’t stop Dr. Shaw from hosting a site-wide bet on who is gonna be the one to break their legs this year. When Dr. Gerald was asked about breaking both legs on three separate occasions, he replied “Those stairs are a blessing, isn’t it great I can only break bones once a year on them?”

-People typically live on-site. Well, at least, some people do. There’s no way Clef could convince the Foundation to let him take 173 on a date off-site, not even if they are a really cute couple. Most people live in apartments for pure convenience to the Foundation. If an SCP you’re studying does something weird, you can’t be 30 minutes away by commute. The floors are split up by languages, and although the Foundation typically discourages anything but cold and calculating, they make an exception for pride over a language/culture. They’ve found that more people learn more languages when there’s a sense of excitement around speaking multiple languages.

-The Site is surrounded by trees so the public can’t see, but right behind the apartments that personnel live in is a large pond, which gives the Foundation a water reserve in case something terrible happens. It’s mildly discouraged to do anything on/near the lake, but they also don’t really care as long as it’s on your time off. People have picnics near it, and there are hockey games every winter when the top freezes over.

-People don’t get Saturday/Sunday off, they get two randomly decided days off. It could be a Wednesday and Friday. It could be a Sunday and Monday. Personnel are only allowed to leave the Site on one of their two days off, though, in case they are needed on the other.

-Everyone on site gets a pager-esque device. It’s encrypted, of course, but it’s by far the easiest way to get in contact with someone. The lead of any research team will have their pager number written on the file, and it is taken off when research is completed. It’s usually still able to be found in cases of…ongoing problems. You can find Elijah Itkin’s pager number in SCP-049’s containment chamber. It’s a good idea to memorize the pager number of whoever is in charge of SCP-682 on a given day.

-Because these numbers are so important to be able to reach quickly, they’re not 10 digits long. They’re 4 digits long, and a lot of the times, they’re recycled when a staff member dies. This has led to the occasional murder for a specific number. Bright has 0069 on permanent reserve, much to the chagrin of many members. Clef killed the poor soul who had 6666, and Glass had to put in a recommendation to please just give him that number. Gears has 0002, which confused a lot of people since Moose isn’t 0001. In fact, all numbers are accounted for except 0001 and 0055. Don’t push your luck by messaging either.

-Site-19 has had one civilian breach the perimeter. It was a 6-year-old. The file is heavily redacted to anyone at Site-19 because it is quite honestly, a disgrace. It’s not redacted to anyone outside of Site-19, though, and those darn folks over at 120 will bring it up whenever they can.

-Not every Junior Researcher at Site-19 works directly under someone. At smaller sites, it’s a given, but at the largest site the SCP Foundation has? There are a lot of junior researchers who just do paperwork, or help out with odd projects here and there. Any Junior researcher who works as a Senior Researcher’s assistant gets the wonderful privilege of…not having to share a desk with some random stranger! You instead will most likely get the corner of the Senior Researcher’s desk as your new desk space.

-Speaking of Senior Researchers, they can request or drop anyone at any time, depending on how many assistants they’re allowed. Junior researchers…cannot do that. They have to work with a Senior researcher for at least 4 weeks before they can request to work with someone else. Even then, no guarantees. The Senior researcher can just say you’re vital to a project and now you’re waiting 4 more weeks for another chance to request a transfer. The only exception to this rule is Dr. Clef. He has a waiting list of naive newbies who requested to work with him since they’ve heard the legends, only for most of them to want to quit before the 15 minute mark.

-When a breach happens, nobody cares 80% of the time. Shaw likes to place bets on how long, to the second, containment’ll take. They’ve gotten really good in the past 40 years, and can now get it within 15 seconds of the actual time pretty accurately. The site is set up with the commute difficulty of an amusement park, and it’s actually really hard for an anomaly to get anywhere without a map (which they do not make)

[scaredshadowsswap]

Adding to this, his daughter’s name is Meri, pronounced the same as Mary. In Catholicism, when Lucifer was thrown out of heaven, God told him he’d be replaced by a woman, which was insulting to him because Angels didn’t really have genders (I can go into the whole translational thing, but they’re typically viewed as agender beings), so he’s being told he’s getting replaced by one of the creatures on Earth. Lucifer’s role was replaced by Mary of Nazareth, who is “Queen of the Angels”, the role that Lucifer previously had.

I’m not sure I can mentally subscribe to the idea that Meri is Mary, since she would’ve said it by then, I like to think Clef gave Meri the name so that she could represent the opposite of himself. I personally believe that Clef loves his daughter which goes against the whole Satan theory, but I think he named her Meri as a choice because he knew he wanted her to be everything he could’ve been.

And I could go into how Clef was in hell with Lilith and while being in the foundation isn’t bliss, she’ll never be tortured the way Clef is (Since Clef experienced “love” and the coldness Meri is surrounded by is pretty much the opposite of love or hate, it’s the lukewarm middle) ; I won’t because I’ve already acted like enough of a Language Arts teacher for a day.

SCP Realization

I LITERALLY JUST REALIZED WHY LILITH IS NAMED LILITH IT’S BC OF THE WHOLE CLEF MAY OR MAY NOT BE SATAN THING AND THAT’S THE NAME OF SATAN’S WIFE IN MYTHOLOGY

I cannot stress this enough tho, FUCK LILITH

BUT I JUST REALIZED THAT AND THAT’S SUCH FUCKING CLEVER WRITING

[scaredshadowsswap]

I had an allergic reaction today and my brain is still benadryl levels of foggy so I might not even remember posting this.

When I was 8, I wrote fanfiction on the notes app of my ipad but my mom synced all the notes and would comment on how my fanfiction was. I was 8 and it was a Star Wars self-insert fanfiction where me and my friends would go on adventures in space in the Star Wars universe.

And do you know how scary that is? It’s been a decade and I still worry that my family is able to find me here? I use the same username on everything (‘cept for reddit, someone beat me to it) and I wanted to stay true to myself and my username/gamertag here, but I couldn’t risk my family finding me, so I went with something else.

And even then, I can’t write anything they would think is weird? Like I have so many ideas that go beyond people doing stitches, and with the SCP community, I think a lot of new content would be appreciated. But I can’t bring myself to because what if they find out? They tease me relentlessly for liking the SCP Foundation to begin with. And when I write, it’s not romantic, but like…it could be? So I worry about everything I post because I function under the assumption that my parents track everything I ever post.

Hi mom, Hi dad. Please stop.

[scaredshadowsswap]

Glad you enjoy it because I have zero other things I would rather do more than obsess over how I think SCP researchers would do random stuff.

Sutures from Various SCP Personnel

I imagine that, if you work at the Foundation, you need to know how to suture a wound. You don’t need to know many medical procedures, but due to the dangerous nature of the work, knowing how to close a wound could be the difference between life and death.

(I ranked these people in order of how good I think they’d be from top to bottom)

If you asked Clef to do stitches for some wound, it would take a lot of convincing. He’ll act like he doesn’t care, and depending on the severity of the wound, he might not care. If you do get him to do your stitches, he’ll be surprisingly good at it. He’ll talk the whole time to distract your mind from the stitches, and he’s really precise with the suture needle. He’s not making a huge effort to be gentle, though. Like he’ll do a good job, but there is no concern for if he hurts you or not since closing the wound is his focus. I imagine suture kits are common in the SCP Foundation, but you don’t get anything to numb it while you’re getting them done, so while some people try to be more gentle, Clef knows he can close the wound better if he just does it like normal. If you move or flinch while he’s doing them, he’ll laugh and either find someone to hold you still, or do it himself. You have no idea how he can hold you in place and do good stitches, but they look fine so you really shouldn’t question it.

I don’t think you’d need to convince Kondraki. Depending on how you got the wound, he might just pull you aside and grab a suture kit without even explaining what he’s doing. He seems like he’d sit you on the kitchen counter/a desk like you do with little kids? If he’s concerned, he’ll be really gentle with the suture needle. It takes him a little bit longer to do stitches than Clef, but they’re pretty much the same quality. He also won’t talk to you while he’s doing them, he’s too focused on the stitches. If he’s mad (at you, at someone else, it doesn’t matter), he’ll still maintain more gentleness than Clef, but he’ll do them faster which’ll hurt more. It’ll probably freak you out because you know he’s upset and you know how crazy he can get when he’s upset, but he’s not gonna hurt you. He’ll just angrily suture your wound. He’ll cover it up with a bandage at the end. If you flinch, regardless of if he’s upset or not, he’ll shoot you an intimidating look. It really doesn’t matter if you make eye contact or not; you can feel it. Because he goes slower than Clef, he can still do them even if you’re not holding completely still.

Gears would notice you’re bleeding, and if he didn’t have anything better to do, he would go grab a suture kit and do your stitches. He has no feelings, so he might not act concerned about if you’re in pain. His hands aren’t shaky, but they’re not as steady as Kondraki or Clef’s. When he’s done, they’ll look fine, too. Gears has years of experience. If you move around, he probably won’t do anything. He’ll sit there and wait for you to stop before he continues.

Iceberg would probably think he was above suturing a wound. He’d be grumbling the whole time about it, and if you flinched or moved at all, he’d be really upset and might yell at you. The stitches would probably look fine if he remembered how to do them, I can’t imagine he’d be frequently asked due to how cold his hands are.

Glass is very emotional, which is a good thing, but not when you’re doing stitches on someone. I think Glass would panic, and then you’d either have to calm him down or find someone else. If you can get him to calm down a little, he’ll probably have shaky hands while doing it due to nerves. He’ll be apologizing the whole time. If you flinch, he might even stop and go get someone else to do them. The thing is: you’ve seen him practice suturing. You know he knows how to do it. He just freaks out when he has to do it on a person who is hurt.

Strelnikov would suck at this for more than one reason. Firstly, he seems like he doesn’t believe in stitches. It’ll heal on it’s own, right? What kind of weak body do you have where you need someone to tie it together? Another reason, and I’ve said this before, I think he likes scars. He’ll probably discourage anyone from getting stitches. Also: He doesn’t have the patience. His patience level is about the amount of time it takes to put a bandage on well. If you’re bleeding, he’ll recommend tourniquet before stitches. If you get him to do stitches, he’ll call you a baby the whole time he’s doing them. When he’s done, you’ll look down and they’ll be the most uneven stitches you’ve ever seen. If you flinch, he’ll probably chuckle and repeat his “you’re such a baby” speech.

[scaredshadowsswap]

Sutures from Various SCP Personnel

I imagine that, if you work at the Foundation, you need to know how to suture a wound. You don’t need to know many medical procedures, but due to the dangerous nature of the work, knowing how to close a wound could be the difference between life and death.

(I ranked these people in order of how good I think they’d be from top to bottom)

If you asked Clef to do stitches for some wound, it would take a lot of convincing. He’ll act like he doesn’t care, and depending on the severity of the wound, he might not care. If you do get him to do your stitches, he’ll be surprisingly good at it. He’ll talk the whole time to distract your mind from the stitches, and he’s really precise with the suture needle. He’s not making a huge effort to be gentle, though. Like he’ll do a good job, but there is no concern for if he hurts you or not since closing the wound is his focus. I imagine suture kits are common in the SCP Foundation, but you don’t get anything to numb it while you’re getting them done, so while some people try to be more gentle, Clef knows he can close the wound better if he just does it like normal. If you move or flinch while he’s doing them, he’ll laugh and either find someone to hold you still, or do it himself. You have no idea how he can hold you in place and do good stitches, but they look fine so you really shouldn’t question it.

I don’t think you’d need to convince Kondraki. Depending on how you got the wound, he might just pull you aside and grab a suture kit without even explaining what he’s doing. He seems like he’d sit you on the kitchen counter/a desk like you do with little kids? If he’s concerned, he’ll be really gentle with the suture needle. It takes him a little bit longer to do stitches than Clef, but they’re pretty much the same quality. He also won’t talk to you while he’s doing them, he’s too focused on the stitches. If he’s mad (at you, at someone else, it doesn’t matter), he’ll still maintain more gentleness than Clef, but he’ll do them faster which’ll hurt more. It’ll probably freak you out because you know he’s upset and you know how crazy he can get when he’s upset, but he’s not gonna hurt you. He’ll just angrily suture your wound. He’ll cover it up with a bandage at the end. If you flinch, regardless of if he’s upset or not, he’ll shoot you an intimidating look. It really doesn’t matter if you make eye contact or not; you can feel it. Because he goes slower than Clef, he can still do them even if you’re not holding completely still.

Gears would notice you’re bleeding, and if he didn’t have anything better to do, he would go grab a suture kit and do your stitches. He has no feelings, so he might not act concerned about if you’re in pain. His hands aren’t shaky, but they’re not as steady as Kondraki or Clef’s. When he’s done, they’ll look fine, too. Gears has years of experience. If you move around, he probably won’t do anything. He’ll sit there and wait for you to stop before he continues.

Iceberg would probably think he was above suturing a wound. He’d be grumbling the whole time about it, and if you flinched or moved at all, he’d be really upset and might yell at you. The stitches would probably look fine if he remembered how to do them, I can’t imagine he’d be frequently asked due to how cold his hands are.

Glass is very emotional, which is a good thing, but not when you’re doing stitches on someone. I think Glass would panic, and then you’d either have to calm him down or find someone else. If you can get him to calm down a little, he’ll probably have shaky hands while doing it due to nerves. He’ll be apologizing the whole time. If you flinch, he might even stop and go get someone else to do them. The thing is: you’ve seen him practice suturing. You know he knows how to do it. He just freaks out when he has to do it on a person who is hurt.

Strelnikov would suck at this for more than one reason. Firstly, he seems like he doesn’t believe in stitches. It’ll heal on it’s own, right? What kind of weak body do you have where you need someone to tie it together? Another reason, and I’ve said this before, I think he likes scars. He’ll probably discourage anyone from getting stitches. Also: He doesn’t have the patience. His patience level is about the amount of time it takes to put a bandage on well. If you’re bleeding, he’ll recommend tourniquet before stitches. If you get him to do stitches, he’ll call you a baby the whole time he’s doing them. When he’s done, you’ll look down and they’ll be the most uneven stitches you’ve ever seen. If you flinch, he’ll probably chuckle and repeat his “you’re such a baby” speech.

[scaredshadowsswap]

This week, someone told me that I was doing a good job. Like, they went out of their way to tell me. Before this, I hadn’t realized there was a difference between being told “It’s gonna be okay” and “you’re gonna be okay.”

The person and I aren’t particularly close, nor can I imagine we will be closer after this experience, but for the first time in literal years, I don’t just feel proud of my accomplishments. I feel proud of me.

[scaredshadowsswap]

The fact that I have a least favorite amino acid is weird, but it is definitely tryptophan. I hate tryptophan with every cell in my body. My cells themselves hate tryptophan.

Firstly, why’s it gotta be like that? Everyone else is fine looking like a chain, or maybe having one hexagon, but you have two? What makes you believe you deserve two?

Also, the rest of them agreed to end in “ine” and you end in “phan”. That’s a yucky sound, my dear nemesis, almost as yucky as you.