#the god of madness

[dandelion-blues]

#3 PJO One-shot

A Test of Madness

Now on Ao3

Broken glass. Shards embedded in my skin. Coppery blood marked my skin, yet I gripped the shards harder, and it cut deeper into my palm. I wanted to feel pain. I wanted to feel alive. To feel my heart pumping and ignore that golden tint in my blood. To ignore the sea and ground and sky humming their chaotic tune for me to leave natural disasters in my wake, to scream and shout out all my frustrations.

Breath in…

Breath out…

Everything is fine. I'm Percy fucking Jackson, I can't afford to have a breakdown right now. I need to be on my best behavior, so the gods don't have an excuse to kill me. I need to be strong, I have to be the one to fulfill the prophecy, so Nico can live. I-I can't afford to be vulnerable, when could I ever be?

Everything is fine. I am 14 and ½ years old, and I just held up the sky last week, and the gods voted to kill me. Everything is fantastic!

Just breathe. Why is my vision blurry? Oh, I realize, as I taste salt on my lips, I'm crying. I start sobbing. Why am I crying? I grip the shard in my hand harder. The pain is stabbing, biting, and I bleed more.

Then, panic shoots through my veins. I don’t want this. I don't want to hurt anymore. Why am I doing this? I drop the shard from my hand. It clatters and breaks on the floor.

My knees fall to the floor as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders again. The broken pieces of the mirror dig into my pants, but all I feel is the overwhelming fear and hopelessness as I sob. My breath comes in shuttering gasps, and I cry and sob for the first time since I was twelve and thought I lost my mom.

Men can’t cry, shut up I told myself.

Aw, looks like brain boy is a coward too, no I’m not. I’m not! Still, the smell of rancid trash and beer bottles hit my nose, and the fear and nausea instantly came to me.

There was a purple haze in the air.

My tan skin became pale, and my green eyes sickly. Now I could only see as Smelly Gabe leered over me.

“Please no!” I screamed, “I’m sorry!”

I sobbed and awaited my beating. There was nothing I could do. Even as the son of Poseidon with all these powers, I was powerless. I was weak, useless trash, just like I’ve always been.

I felt his meaty hands grab me, I felt them on my throat. Black spots filled my vision, and I couldn’t breathe.

I thrashed around, choking and desperately trying to get some air. I wanted to live. I needed to. I couldn’t just leave the prophecy to Nico; he is only a little kid.

I grabbed onto Gabe’s fingers around my throat, and I pulled hard. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, and I remembered the minotaur’s horn in my hand — snap.

Gabe screamed in rage and pain, his fingers bent in broken and purpling.

“You little monster!” Gabe screamed, frothing from the mouth, “I’m going to kill you!”

I was still gasping for air, kneeling on the ground, but I looked at Gabe, my green eyes dark as the deepest seas and I said, my voice but a whisper but still it echoed around, “No you aren’t.”

I gritted his teeth and closed my eyes, focusing on air and the water around me.

“Go away!” I pushed my powers through. Water in the air and from the cabin came in, washing the blood from my skin and healing my mind and body. I shouted now with renewed energy, “You aren’t real!”

The haze cleared away from me, and I saw there was no one in the cabin with me.

Still, the leftover essence permeated the air, and I would be hard pressed to not recognize it, and I seethed, “Dionysus.”

The god shimmered in the air in a purple haze and soon became flesh before me, and I didn’t recognize him at first. He wore a purple chiton instead of leopard print and was slim and fit. He looks pretty and has purple silky hair that curls around golden leaves in his hair. Still what truly gave him away that this was Dionysus was that he drawled in his usual tone, even if his voice was clearer and less nasally, “Yes, Peter Johnson.”

I glared at the god, and he smirked amused. I snarled, “Why did you do this?!”

Dionysus rolled his purple eyes, “I’m the god of madness, and well who am I not to encourage someone’s descent into madness.”

Still, I saw the way the god wouldn’t meet my eyes, as if he was ashamed.

“That isn’t it.” I said.

Anger filled Dionysus eye’s and he glared at me but he saw the damage in my eyes. The way I put on a brave face, but was still trying to hide my fear — the way the god always reminded me of my worst fears of alcohol and madness.

Dionysus gritted his teeth, still he answered in a monotone voice, “It was a test set up by the King to see if you would fall into madness and thus could be killed off.”

I sat there numbly, blood pounding in my ears. How dare he?! How dare the King do that? After everything I’ve done for them, even after I won the vote to spare my life! Zeus truly is a dictator, isn’t he?! He wants to kill a 14-year-old just because he’s afraid.

Are the gods even worth saving? Well, Kronos sure isn’t any better.

I sigh still seething, I’ve always done this for the demigods anyways. What’s one more reason to hate the gods?

Still, I glance up at the camp director who is once again avoiding my eyes. I breathe in deeply and ask, “And what about you? Why’d you agree to do this?”

Dionysus clenches his fists, still avoiding my gaze, “You cannot avoid an order from the King, lest you risk unimaginable punishment.”

So that’s it, isn’t it?

I start laughing, hysterically. Tears rolling down my face as I laugh so much, I wheeze.

Dionysus stands there shocked, double checking that he isn’t using his domain once again on the boy.

Percy looks at Dionysus, “We are both just scared of our father figures, aren’t we?”

Dionysus' eyes open wide and shock, and anger starts to light his purple eyes, but he deflates when he sees the sincerity in Percy’s eyes.

Dionysus sighs, “Yes, I guess we are.” And Dionysus looks away pained, “The only difference is you beat yours and he’s not some immortal that can just come back.”

Percy stands up on shaky limbs and the god lets him approach, “I know that we don’t get along, but I wouldn’t be Sally Jackson’s son if I didn’t reach out to help.”

Dionysus snorts, “I guess that’s why you got on my nerves by not acting like I always expected heroes to act. You’re not really Poseidon’s son, the way you are your mortal mother’s are you?”

Then, Dionysus' visage changes back to looking like a trailer park cherub, “Also, Peter Johnson. You have a week of stable cleaning to do because you broke your mirror.”

My mouth hangs open in shock and I yell at Dionysus as he leaves, “No fair!”

The god just laughs back.

I just smile back. Perhaps things won’t be so bad, but I have a feeling that worse things are yet to come, but I’ll get through them anyways, just as I always do.

Notes:

I usually don't write in first person, but I thought I'd try it here.

I also feel like Dionysus is deeply misunderstood as well. Yes, he is a flawed character, but the chance for growth is there. Percy isn't Theseus, just as Dionysus isn't Gabe.

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[soundwavefucker69]

bastille has done more for the queer community by just making all of their love songs about "you" instead of specifying a gender than taylor swift has in all of her discography. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[werethropy]

"The nonbinary afab who goes by she/her, dresses femininely, and uses a push-up bra when I—" when you what? What's wrong with her?

Is she not nonbinary enough for you? Is the way she experiences her queerness and how she presents not perfect enough for you? Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny, right? So why is she the exception? Why does she have to hate herself to appeal to your standards? Why is she any less trans—any less worthy of respect—cause it's "not visible"? Queer solidarity my ass. Don't spout this bullshit on Pride, man.

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

[mutualcombat]

*bites ur scruff*

[full on twitter]

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[merlinemryspendragon]

Because Cressida discovered my secret. And she demands £10,000 to keep it. Bridgerton 3.08 - “Into the Light”

[grandkhan221b]

More DW stuff

[thankstothe]

this show rewires you fundamentally in 60 seconds and then just goes on to have more seasons. audacity

[megamindsupremacy]

im CRYING they’re fucking killing her in the comments 😭

(update: HER REACTION IS IN THE NOTES)

[lil-vibes]

Day 5: Peer into the darkness

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(prompt list here! ) + bonus bc i cant help myself 😔

[monsterhospital]

the best part about being a Girl Who Knows A Lot About Star Wars is that you can fuck with dudes so much. no guy has ever been able to refute my backed claim that moff tarkin canonically had sex with a stormtrooper. why? because doing so would force them to admit they've never read 'of mouse droids and men' and therefore know less about star wars than me: a girls' girl who thinks that luke skywalker and the mandalorian "are probably in an open relationship".

[myballsitchaurghouchie]

Dance untill the sun sets

[ID in Alt Text and under the cut.]

ID: A digital drawing of the Lamb and Narinder from the video game Cult Of The Lamb, dacing over a blue background. The Lamb is drawn with a short ponytail, wearing white shorts and a red top with short sleeves, as well as arm and leg guards. Their back is facing Narinder who is holding one of their hands up above their head. Narinder is drawn as his follower form, wearing wide pants and a red shirt with wide, shoulder-length sleeves. Both characters are smilling and have a slight blush over their face.

[cry-ptidd]

” Am I not right to weep? O my children, cursed children of a hateful mother - ”

[aimapandu]

Club Activities frfr