#percy jackson and Dionysus

[sadlittlepotatobean]

this made me laugh way more then it should have

Percy, in retaliation for Dionysus calling everyone ( read: mainly just him)  by the wrong name, only refers to him by incorrect (increasingly more ridiculous) names 

“hello Perry”

 “sup with you Diego?” 

“. . . What did you just call me Patrica?”

” What are you talking about Daenerys?”

“. . .“

“. . .“ 

“Touché Puk Jamalson.”

“Right back at you Deiform.”

[dandelion-blues]

#3 PJO One-shot

A Test of Madness

Now on Ao3

Broken glass. Shards embedded in my skin. Coppery blood marked my skin, yet I gripped the shards harder, and it cut deeper into my palm. I wanted to feel pain. I wanted to feel alive. To feel my heart pumping and ignore that golden tint in my blood. To ignore the sea and ground and sky humming their chaotic tune for me to leave natural disasters in my wake, to scream and shout out all my frustrations.

Breath in…

Breath out…

Everything is fine. I'm Percy fucking Jackson, I can't afford to have a breakdown right now. I need to be on my best behavior, so the gods don't have an excuse to kill me. I need to be strong, I have to be the one to fulfill the prophecy, so Nico can live. I-I can't afford to be vulnerable, when could I ever be?

Everything is fine. I am 14 and ½ years old, and I just held up the sky last week, and the gods voted to kill me. Everything is fantastic!

Just breathe. Why is my vision blurry? Oh, I realize, as I taste salt on my lips, I'm crying. I start sobbing. Why am I crying? I grip the shard in my hand harder. The pain is stabbing, biting, and I bleed more.

Then, panic shoots through my veins. I don’t want this. I don't want to hurt anymore. Why am I doing this? I drop the shard from my hand. It clatters and breaks on the floor.

My knees fall to the floor as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders again. The broken pieces of the mirror dig into my pants, but all I feel is the overwhelming fear and hopelessness as I sob. My breath comes in shuttering gasps, and I cry and sob for the first time since I was twelve and thought I lost my mom.

Men can’t cry, shut up I told myself.

Aw, looks like brain boy is a coward too, no I’m not. I’m not! Still, the smell of rancid trash and beer bottles hit my nose, and the fear and nausea instantly came to me.

There was a purple haze in the air.

My tan skin became pale, and my green eyes sickly. Now I could only see as Smelly Gabe leered over me.

“Please no!” I screamed, “I’m sorry!”

I sobbed and awaited my beating. There was nothing I could do. Even as the son of Poseidon with all these powers, I was powerless. I was weak, useless trash, just like I’ve always been.

I felt his meaty hands grab me, I felt them on my throat. Black spots filled my vision, and I couldn’t breathe.

I thrashed around, choking and desperately trying to get some air. I wanted to live. I needed to. I couldn’t just leave the prophecy to Nico; he is only a little kid.

I grabbed onto Gabe’s fingers around my throat, and I pulled hard. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, and I remembered the minotaur’s horn in my hand — snap.

Gabe screamed in rage and pain, his fingers bent in broken and purpling.

“You little monster!” Gabe screamed, frothing from the mouth, “I’m going to kill you!”

I was still gasping for air, kneeling on the ground, but I looked at Gabe, my green eyes dark as the deepest seas and I said, my voice but a whisper but still it echoed around, “No you aren’t.”

I gritted his teeth and closed my eyes, focusing on air and the water around me.

“Go away!” I pushed my powers through. Water in the air and from the cabin came in, washing the blood from my skin and healing my mind and body. I shouted now with renewed energy, “You aren’t real!”

The haze cleared away from me, and I saw there was no one in the cabin with me.

Still, the leftover essence permeated the air, and I would be hard pressed to not recognize it, and I seethed, “Dionysus.”

The god shimmered in the air in a purple haze and soon became flesh before me, and I didn’t recognize him at first. He wore a purple chiton instead of leopard print and was slim and fit. He looks pretty and has purple silky hair that curls around golden leaves in his hair. Still what truly gave him away that this was Dionysus was that he drawled in his usual tone, even if his voice was clearer and less nasally, “Yes, Peter Johnson.”

I glared at the god, and he smirked amused. I snarled, “Why did you do this?!”

Dionysus rolled his purple eyes, “I’m the god of madness, and well who am I not to encourage someone’s descent into madness.”

Still, I saw the way the god wouldn’t meet my eyes, as if he was ashamed.

“That isn’t it.” I said.

Anger filled Dionysus eye’s and he glared at me but he saw the damage in my eyes. The way I put on a brave face, but was still trying to hide my fear — the way the god always reminded me of my worst fears of alcohol and madness.

Dionysus gritted his teeth, still he answered in a monotone voice, “It was a test set up by the King to see if you would fall into madness and thus could be killed off.”

I sat there numbly, blood pounding in my ears. How dare he?! How dare the King do that? After everything I’ve done for them, even after I won the vote to spare my life! Zeus truly is a dictator, isn’t he?! He wants to kill a 14-year-old just because he’s afraid.

Are the gods even worth saving? Well, Kronos sure isn’t any better.

I sigh still seething, I’ve always done this for the demigods anyways. What’s one more reason to hate the gods?

Still, I glance up at the camp director who is once again avoiding my eyes. I breathe in deeply and ask, “And what about you? Why’d you agree to do this?”

Dionysus clenches his fists, still avoiding my gaze, “You cannot avoid an order from the King, lest you risk unimaginable punishment.”

So that’s it, isn’t it?

I start laughing, hysterically. Tears rolling down my face as I laugh so much, I wheeze.

Dionysus stands there shocked, double checking that he isn’t using his domain once again on the boy.

Percy looks at Dionysus, “We are both just scared of our father figures, aren’t we?”

Dionysus' eyes open wide and shock, and anger starts to light his purple eyes, but he deflates when he sees the sincerity in Percy’s eyes.

Dionysus sighs, “Yes, I guess we are.” And Dionysus looks away pained, “The only difference is you beat yours and he’s not some immortal that can just come back.”

Percy stands up on shaky limbs and the god lets him approach, “I know that we don’t get along, but I wouldn’t be Sally Jackson’s son if I didn’t reach out to help.”

Dionysus snorts, “I guess that’s why you got on my nerves by not acting like I always expected heroes to act. You’re not really Poseidon’s son, the way you are your mortal mother’s are you?”

Then, Dionysus' visage changes back to looking like a trailer park cherub, “Also, Peter Johnson. You have a week of stable cleaning to do because you broke your mirror.”

My mouth hangs open in shock and I yell at Dionysus as he leaves, “No fair!”

The god just laughs back.

I just smile back. Perhaps things won’t be so bad, but I have a feeling that worse things are yet to come, but I’ll get through them anyways, just as I always do.

Notes:

I usually don't write in first person, but I thought I'd try it here.

I also feel like Dionysus is deeply misunderstood as well. Yes, he is a flawed character, but the chance for growth is there. Percy isn't Theseus, just as Dionysus isn't Gabe.

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[greekcomedy]

i will give them that dionysus is Perfect. "i'm looking for my dad" "well i can help you with that... son" fuck off that was hilarious

[mo-mode]

AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

[doesephs]

slamming my head against a wall again and again and again and again

[starii-void]

going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with

-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)

-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)

-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)

-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)

-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)

-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)

-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)

-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran

-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy

-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre

-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever

[akodsamaka]

Dionysus drinking coke and his roman alter-ego drinking Pepsi will never not be funny to me.

[spookedbees]

have you ever made any designs for Greek gods/goddesses? I think they would look great in your style!!!

i have some loose designs for most of the pjo-verse greek gods

i also have ideas for more general greek god designs but no art for them yet

[multifandomstan5]

Mr.D, gesturing towards Hazel: Okay, first of all I'd like to introduce our new ambassador of camp Jupiter, Hailey, and I'd like to thank her for her generous gift of two dollars, which she handed to me this morning. Unnecessary but appreciated

Piper, whispering to Hazel: Why'd you give him two dollars?

Hazel, whispering back : I thought he was homeless

[readerconfused]

Mr D insisting that Percy's name is Peter and immediately afterwards yelling at the demigods to get the hell out of the camp I LOVE THIS GOD

[mellkellyismyhero]

I gotta say, mr d's wine quest was a REALLY good, succinct way of introducing the "heroes can do what gods can't" thing!

[mortal-maebh]

percy: please help me find my dad

dionysus:

[l-just-want-to-see]

pjo/hoo/toa + the cycle

The Lightning Thief / Growing Sideways, Noah Kahan / Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan, Ilya Repin + Saturn Devouring His Son, Goya + Saturn, Rubens / The Blood of Olympus / The Family Jewels, MARINA / The Last Olympian / The Sea of Monsters / The Family Jewels / Orestes Pursued by the Furies, Bouguereau / The Hidden Oracle / Apollo and Marsyas, Manfredi / In The Blood, John Mayer / The Sea of Monsters / The Combat of Ares and Athena, Jacques Louis David / The Family Jewels / Mark of Athena / The Combat of Ares and Athena / The Lightning Thief / Family Line, Conan Gray / Cronos and Rhea, Schinkel / The Lightning Thief / The Blood of Olympus / In The Blood / The Last Olympian / Chronos and His Child, Romanelli / Desireé Dellagiacomo / The Lightning Thief / Family Line / The Fallen Angel, Alexandre Cabanel + The Last Day of Pompeii, Bryullov / The Blood of Olympus / The Outcast, Botticelli / Glass, Irony and God, Anna Carson / House of Hades / Family Line / The Last Olympian / The Lament for Icarus, Herbert Draper + Sacrifice of Iphigenia, Roman School + Minerva and Arachne, Houasse + Venus Induces Helen to Fall in Love with Paris, Kauffmann / The Last Olympian / Hadestown / The Lightning Thief / apple, Charli xcx / The Last Olympian / I Would Leave Me If I Could, Halsey / The Sea of Monsters / ? / LET YOUR DAD DIE ENERGY DRINK, Lavery and Corrigan / The Last Olympian / Eat Your Young, Hozier / The Last Olympian / Orpheus and the Bacchantes, Lazzarini / The Blood of Olympus / Susan Smith, wych elm / Orpheus and the Bacchantes / The Burning Maze / ? / The Tyrant’s Tomb / Perseus Freeing Andromeda, Veronese / Abduction of Psyche, Bouguereau + Bacchus and Ariadne, Van Loo / The Tower of Nero / The Tower of Nero / The Tower of Nero

[uselessnbee]

you know i think it would be absolutely hilarious if after some time Percy would get so fed up by Mr. D never calling him by his actual name so Percy would just decide to do the exact same thing to him and start calling him anything but Mr. D/Dionysus

like mr. D would be like "Hey Peter Johnson" and Percy would turn around and with a straight face be like " yes, Dave?" and everyone else is just watching horrified like wtf Percy? do you want to be turned into a cockroach????

or Percy would be talking with someone and be like " Derek told me-"

" who..?"

"you know our camp director? god of wine and all that?"

"......you mean mr. D./Dionysus "

"yeah Dylan...so anyways he told me-"

and then it would become this thing between Percy and Mr. D where they would always try to come up with the most stupid and outrageous wrong names to annoy each other as much as they possibly can

everyone is horrified at Percy and just waiting for Dionysus to smite him but Percy and Mr. D are secretely having a fucking blast

[idkaguyorsomething]

“apollo wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” “hermes wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” you fools. ¿have you forgotten who the greek god of theatre is?

[literally-literary-charlie]

i think we should normalize demigods growing up to be average people. bc rick really went out there and said george washington and harriet tubman were demigods but just think about this for a second-

"ah yes that gas station attendant is a son of hermes, god of travelers"

there's simultaneously so much and so little potential here