#the aro thoughts are confusing me

[fallenrain40]

random aro thoughts again,, i really love the term for friend crushes- "squishes". my only problem is being afraid people will interpret it as an "inbetween" romance and friendship when no... for me it's not even queerplatonic or anything like that... it's literally just wanting to know someone and thinking they are cool, or maybe admiring them in some other form. but no level of romantic attraction is ever involved and i hate to think people will misinterpret that.

im almost afraid to even call it PLATONIC attraction cause... platonic can be really strong too. idk. its like some mysterious fourth option (just like my gender pfft-),

[ilovedthestars]

ok wait there's something I've been curious about for a while and I keep forgetting I can make a poll about it

This isn't only for people who use the label for themselves, I'm curious how people in general pronounce it!

[braidedhades]

just found out that non-aromantics actually have feelings towards the people they decide to have a crush on. Apparently it’s not like, “hmmm should I consider this person for dating? what are the pros and cons here?” Or like, “I want to be really close friends with that person” But it’s like an actual emotional response or something? An emotion that is different from the “I wanna be really close friends” emotion??

also I just figured out that I’m aromantic

[the-acid-pear]

It's actually really funny how it is bc despite being an insane person with weird kinks whenever I see someone with kinks I DON'T share I'm instantly thrown off by it. Which is comedic to me bc you'd expect the freak to inherently Understand other freaks but no unfortunately that's not how it works necessarily.

[the-blackdale]

...

[frogs-and-books]

I have to admit that it's so frustrating to me that people are doing this "He's canon ace but not canon aro" thing. It feels like people wanting to have it both ways at the cost aro people. If you're going to say only what's explicit in the text matters, then be honest with proper embrace of Death of the Author and disregard what Brennan said outside the context of the text. If you want to invest meaning in authorial intent, than be honest about the authorial intent with Riz. It's hard enough being aro in fandom as it is without people playing both sides of the fence on this

I'm sorry that there is a lack of aromantic representation, but you can't decide what the authorial intent was for the author. He could be aro! There's a lot of subtext and ways to read the story like that, but it's just as easy to read it as him being demiromantic or gray romantic or even just a late bloomer. Because of this, I can't confirm the authors intent unless he states it. I don't personally have an opinion on it, I just like Riz, and I'll like his character no matter what his sexuality is. I'm not going to disregard a statement from a cast member, especially when I doubt Brennan would have said without Murph's permission. That, to me at least, is confirmation of authorial intent.

I can understand why you're frustrated, but there aren't (or at least shouldn't be) sides. I'm simply saying that Riz is not canonically Aromantic, which is true. However, this does not mean that Aromantic people are somehow wrong in saying that they believe he is! Just like many other things, it is up for the viewer to decide currently.

If Murph comes out and says Riz is Aromantic, that's it. He's Aromantic. But until then, it's up for interpretation. You aren't wrong for saying he's Aromantic, but neither is someone saying he's not Aromantic.

I am so glad that Riz resonates with you, but others don't have your same experience and might relate to him in different ways, and their experience and interpretations aren't less valid than yours.

The world isn't black and white. There are so many nuisances that can be beautiful if you allow yourself to see them.

I'm not on the fence. I know exactly where I stand. Riz is canonically asexual and he has no confirmed romantic interests, although he has been shown to be less interested than his peers. This could mean many, many different things, but saying that thinking Riz is asexual but not aromantic is being on the fence is discounting real people who are asexual and not aromantic.

It's not all or nothing. I'm not out to get you or hurt anyone. It just frustrates me when people state their interpretations of media as facts and get upset when other people have different interpretations. Your interpretation isn't more valid just because it's more diverse. That would be like me reading a book where someone was never stated to have a race, but I decided that their character would make more sense if they were black, so now they're canonically black, even though I don't know what the author imagined them like. Just because it's adding diversity doesn't make it more morally correct. It doesn't make it more incorrect either. It just makes it your interpretation.

I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but it's up for interpretation, and you can't fault people for having a different interpretation of a character.

[walnutcookie]

ive had an. Intersting relationship with my aromanticism honestly.

[burst-of-iridescent]

you’re not aromantic unless you emit a pleasant and distinctive smell, actually. sorry, i don’t make the rules

[mantisgodsdomain]

We think Kabbu is aroace but specifically the kind of aroace where he's aware of romance and sex and all that jazz and he is in theory Totally Allo And Normal Definitely but in practice he couldn't catch someone hitting on him if they hit him with a brick to the face.

He's aware of it in theory but in practice the fact that it applies to him and people exist who could find him attractive is completely alien because internally the concepts are like oil and water and he cannot conceive the idea of him actually, like, entering a relationship with someone.

[mint-is-here]

lego characters have made me question my sexuality more times than i wish it was possible

[makkie-is-screaming]

wish I had a girlfriend 😔

[running-in-the-dark]

I still don't get this stuff, so, I've got a question: do most allosexuals find random people attractive? and does that mean they look at them and think 'I want to have sex with that person'? not just 'that person is very beautiful' or whatever? like if there's a group of people that are their type or whatever, they might think all of them are. idk, interesting in that way?

and how about thinking about people romantically? I don't get how you would know the difference, and, ugh I'm just so confused and stupid and I'm gonna shut up now

[sick-as-a-dog]

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[jellyjam]

man im kinda sad that i disconnected myself from the aro community due to multiple kinds of identity crisis because it genuinely was such a lovely community that helped me so much with discovering my self and taught me a lot of valuable things about relationships :(

[bat-the-misfit]

like i really really really wanna have a boyfriend but not a "man i'm in love with" type of boyfriend but a "this guy is my best friend forever also he is so handsome and cute and pretty and hot that i love looking at him and to give him little kissies and hold his hands bc he is my bestie" type of boyfriend

[arcane-strangeness]