#the aro thoughts are confusing me
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random aro thoughts again,, i really love the term for friend crushes- "squishes". my only problem is being afraid people will interpret it as an "inbetween" romance and friendship when no... for me it's not even queerplatonic or anything like that... it's literally just wanting to know someone and thinking they are cool, or maybe admiring them in some other form. but no level of romantic attraction is ever involved and i hate to think people will misinterpret that.
im almost afraid to even call it PLATONIC attraction cause... platonic can be really strong too. idk. its like some mysterious fourth option (just like my gender pfft-),
#the aro thoughts are confusing me#aro#aromantic#aroace#aro thoughts#aro things#platonic#queerplatonic#squish#squishes
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ok wait there's something I've been curious about for a while and I keep forgetting I can make a poll about it
This isn't only for people who use the label for themselves, I'm curious how people in general pronounce it!
#polls#aro#aromantic#arospec#aromanticism#stars has thoughts#for me the first is 'air-row' and the second is 'A-row' and that was originally how i phrased this poll#but it was getting confusing and what i really want to know is the relationship to the pronunciation of other words
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just found out that non-aromantics actually have feelings towards the people they decide to have a crush on. Apparently it’s not like, “hmmm should I consider this person for dating? what are the pros and cons here?” Or like, “I want to be really close friends with that person” But it’s like an actual emotional response or something? An emotion that is different from the “I wanna be really close friends” emotion??
also I just figured out that I’m aromantic
#I’m also ace but I already knew that#Shout out to Jaiden Animations#Never would have figured this stuff out this quickly otherwise#asexual#aromantic#aroace#My first “crush” was Carmen San Diego#I was 18yrs old and that “crush” lasted 2 days#Turns out she wasn’t as pretty when she wasn’t wearing her signature outfit#I didn’t actually have a crush on her I just really liked her outfit#I think I just decided that “ya know I should’ve had a crush on someone by now kinda weird that it hasn’t happened yet”#And then I just picked the first pretty girl I saw#She’s animated so I guess that made it less weird than having a crush on a random stranger#But like there were no actual romantic emotions there#Didn’t know that there were supposed to be any but oh well#The whole “I wanna be really close friends with that person” thing really threw me off for a while#Cuz I thought that was what romantic attraction was#But apparently it’s not???#Too confusing we should just get rid of romance#Honestly my idea of the “ideal romantic/queerplatonic relationship” should have tipped me off sooner that I was aro#It was “a close friend who lives in the same house as me but we have separate bedrooms and sometimes we cuddle on the couch but not…#… always and we don’t hold hands or kiss or anything but we just act like really good but close friends because that’s what I think a…#… romantic relationship is two people who are really close friends”#might delete later I dunno just kinda rambling and I’m really tired
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It's actually really funny how it is bc despite being an insane person with weird kinks whenever I see someone with kinks I DON'T share I'm instantly thrown off by it. Which is comedic to me bc you'd expect the freak to inherently Understand other freaks but no unfortunately that's not how it works necessarily.
#luly talks#i am way more open to shit when explained to me tho#like usually I'm outright Neutral about this like ok sure.#but there's things that outright are so confusing to me they turn me off#like i saw some mommy rp blog and she was just... acting like a mother#and it's like. super sweet of course! but... not turning me on? at all??#like i don't get why you'd want a 2 in 1 deal for a mother and a gf can't you just get the two things per separate?#and this is coming from a man with severe mommy issues too! I'm a man who lost 3 mother figures (maybe 4 even. prob more)#yet i just don't get it? like. i don't know.#like i dont get it when it's so Genuine ykwim? like sexy mommy daddy age gap shit i do get. i love older people carnally.#but when it is a real intention to have this person fulfill the gap your parents left (I'd have said hole goddamn it that'd have been funnie#r) it's like. do. do you know how hard this can backfire? like i feel it's only more harmful. like idk#like i am no one to say it i am as explicitly stated a certified freak but i really think some people should stop fucking and take an hour#off to go to therapy. just a thought.#like i have my psychological issues mirror into my kinks too I've thought of this deeply (not the cannibalism that's simply me being hungry#although i did make a huge post about hunger but i DIGRESS) but i feel it's different#maybe it's bc im autistic and aro Who Knows maybe this is about intricate social and romantic rituals i just dont get in general
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#hii queer ppl in my phone#what can you tell me about the journey from being bi to aro/ ace#like is that a thing or maybe im turning into an introvert#like ???#I think I MAYYYYYY be somewhere on the aro ace spectrum#as of RIGHT NOW#im hella confused#idk I thought I was bi till now#maybe I just dont like anyone in my circle like that right now#or maybe I am becoming an introvert :(#I dont know which one is worse#I think its the introvert one#being aro ace sounds cool actually#but what about me being bi 😭😭
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ive had an. Intersting relationship with my aromanticism honestly.
#like i have KNOWN im asexual ever since 5th grade#literally i learned what the term meant and went Oh yeah thats me#i deadass didnt even know what the word lesbian meant at the time#i just knew that described me#but also. i thought at the time that it meant romantic attraction#i was young and didnt rlly understand what the difference was (and i know its very nuanced and hard to distinguish to begin with)#but ever since then i havent even questioned my asexuality. Im sure about that#but ive been soo back and forth on being aro#even to this day i question if i like people platonically or romantically#i start to doubt myself a lot and feel like im faking it and then i hear an allo person talk about what crushes feel like and i realize im#aro again though LOLL#i dont know. My stepmom doesnt think aroace people are real so i am very proud of myself out of spite#especially not aros#im just yapping here. I love being aro and the older i get the more i love it#i am in a romantic relationship with another aroace person and both of us are so confused and i think thats awesome actually#i dont care that i dont feel what people always described as romantic feelings toward others because i can love people in so many other way#if any other confused aros are reading this i love you. we are so cool :)
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my colorblind ass saw someone with a lesbian flag pfp and i was like "oh! rabies flag... fun :]" before realizing thats not shades of grey and red thats PINK
#i very very often confuse the lesbian and aromantic flags#which to me made the whole thing w flag discourse hilarious like#“ohh the gay flag parallels the lesbian one ppl will be confused” girl i thought your flag was aro bc of my silly little visual impairment#being colorblind is fun!! and kinda embarrassing at times
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#talks#*me finally accepting my aro#being bi: hi :D#girl what are YOU doing here#but she’s here to stay and we’re here to have fun#we may not always get along.. but she loves to dance around#and I’m here to enjoy the ride but also making sure thing don’t go too crazy lmao#being biaro was a confusing time lol#but I think I’m getting close to figuring her out#rambling#:P#ever since the Barbie movie my mind has really latched on to girls harder than I thought myself capable haha
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you’re not aromantic unless you emit a pleasant and distinctive smell, actually. sorry, i don’t make the rules
#aromantic#my friend just told me that apparently when i first came out to her she didn’t know what being aro was#and she thought i was saying i was aromatic#but she didn’t wanna be disrespectful so she just congratulated me anyway even though she was confused as hell#when i tell you i cried laughing
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We think Kabbu is aroace but specifically the kind of aroace where he's aware of romance and sex and all that jazz and he is in theory Totally Allo And Normal Definitely but in practice he couldn't catch someone hitting on him if they hit him with a brick to the face.
He's aware of it in theory but in practice the fact that it applies to him and people exist who could find him attractive is completely alien because internally the concepts are like oil and water and he cannot conceive the idea of him actually, like, entering a relationship with someone.
#he's the kind of aroace to have “safe crushes” and tell himself its just bc he hasnt found The One yet#in order to get around the fact that the “sex and romance” area in his brain physically cannot apply those concepts to him#it's a platonic ideal and not a real thing that he actually wants. fantasy and not reality#which is to say that kabbu loves sappy romance stories and probably buys into the idea of True Love#and then probably gets like “what do you mean youre aro??? you seem so... not-aro!” comments the second he figures it out#vi is also aro and she confuses the problem because literally her only two ways of viewing A Thing That She Has are fuckin#1) “this is something that everyone experiences forever” and 2) “this is something wrong with me specifically that no one else experiences”#kabbu tries to talk to her abt it and it instantly shifts her worldview to “so thats something that Everyone experiences”#“its a normal thing that happens to everyone and people just lied to me about it for no reason because That Is What People Do Always”#and then she tells him it happens to everyone and its normal but its also bad and you should never talk about it. this makes things worse.#leif is the token allo in team snakemouth and vi bullies him relentlessly for it#anyways. these are our thoughts on the matter#take them how you will#we speak#bug fables
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lego characters have made me question my sexuality more times than i wish it was possible
#you know that 'is that a bird?' meme??#thats me with lego characters#*points at 'characters i smile really hard when i see them on screen and think too much about and really like* is this romantic atraction?#its confusing man#like i love the characters i really do but i wouldnt like#read a y/n fic or create a character so i can ship myslef with a canon character#or see myself in a relationship with them#like its kinda hard for me to even picture canon characters in a relatonship with each other sometimes!!#how am i supposed to ship MYSELF with these characters???#but i also like#spent 10 minutes on pinterst just looking at nezha screenshots and smiling like an idiot becuae i love him so much#in a platonic way??? i dont know#relationships are confusing#why are they so confusing#...ok everytime i like actually write my thoughts down the more i think im in the aro ace spectrum(??)#idk where i am but i think i am somewhere there#stuff
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wish I had a girlfriend 😔
#Like yeah I’m aro ace but also I love girls n want a girlfriend#Ima dyke what do u want from me#lmao my cousin gets so confused cuz she’s like I thought I don’t like people like that?? N yeah I don’t but also#want girlfriend to kiss n hold hands with#Rlly not that complicated#Screaming
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I still don't get this stuff, so, I've got a question: do most allosexuals find random people attractive? and does that mean they look at them and think 'I want to have sex with that person'? not just 'that person is very beautiful' or whatever? like if there's a group of people that are their type or whatever, they might think all of them are. idk, interesting in that way?
and how about thinking about people romantically? I don't get how you would know the difference, and, ugh I'm just so confused and stupid and I'm gonna shut up now
#I'm really confused#I'm definitely not fully ace or aro. like *definitely* not#but I mean. like. people who are into men would just think random guys are hot? right?#I'm pretty sure there's just. something wrong with me or whatever. so it doesn't matter#and I just need to stop thinking about it!#and not talk about it because I sound so stupid. but I don't want to look any of it up anymore because that just makes me feel more Wrong#every time#I don't know. it doesn't matter. there's something wrong with me and it's much more than just that so its#irrelevant#:')#I need to start putting my phone far away from my bed tbh. I always think about stupid shit when I'm half asleep and stupid thoughts#automatically end up on here.#I don't know there's really no point to this I'm just frustrated and sad and overwhelmed#I wish I could just. get over this crap. just stop.#like normally it's fine! it's all just people! they're all the same. maybe they're really pretty or handsome and nice to look at. but that's#it that's all there is. and then someone shows up and I get obsessed and then it's just that person. it's never just. oh that guy is hot or#whatever#it's always just. I go insane.#it's probably. idk completely unrelated to anything. it's probably just my obsessive tendencies#but I don't get it! I really never think about this stuff (at all) except when this happens and then. well. there's not much else really.#ugh whatever I'm just fucking stupid and I'm gonna shut up and delete this tomorrow (for real this time I hope)#okay this is far enough down that no one will read it so: do people just. think about having sex or. whatever. with just. people? like oh#he's hot I want to fuck him? is that why people make out with strangers and stuff? I'm in my 30s why do I still not understand this 😭😭😭#like I'm. not attracted to men or women or whatever it's just. one specific person. and when that's over it's like a switch has been flipped#and there's nothing again#and it's not like. oh I start talking to someone and I learn stuff about them and then I'm attracted to them. that wouldn't even work since#it's been all fictional characters for ages now. like there's no. connection or whatever because. well duh.#ugh I'm too old for this shit#personal
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man im kinda sad that i disconnected myself from the aro community due to multiple kinds of identity crisis because it genuinely was such a lovely community that helped me so much with discovering my self and taught me a lot of valuable things about relationships :(
#i was worried im not actually aro and that i thought i was only bc of the culture and how i wasnt allowed to even look at another boy#and idk it was that fear that i wasn't *really* aro that pushed me away from the community#and made me afraid to id as that#but like even if that was the case like. im probably still a little bit aro#maybe if i was raised differently if want to be in a relationship but the way i am now im happy if i go my entire life without one#idk identity is confusing man
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my colorblind ass saw someone with a lesbian flag pfp and i was like "oh! rabies flag... fun :]" before realizing thats not shades of grey and red thats PINK
#i very very often confuse the lesbian and aromantic flags#which to me made the whole thing w flag discourse hilarious like#“ohh the gay flag parallels the lesbian one ppl will be confused” girl i thought your flag was aro bc of my silly little visual impairment#being colorblind is fun!! and kinda embarrassing at times
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like i really really really wanna have a boyfriend but not a "man i'm in love with" type of boyfriend but a "this guy is my best friend forever also he is so handsome and cute and pretty and hot that i love looking at him and to give him little kissies and hold his hands bc he is my bestie" type of boyfriend
#besties i might be aromantic#or weird idk#i don't think i actually ever had a crush on someone :(#when i observe people crushing or in love with someone i get confused whether or not this has happened to me before#when i think about the boys i “liked” before it seems like i just admired them as people AND thought they were visually pleasing (“cute”)#and i might have mistaken that as romantic attraction#ACTUAL romance and romance-related stuff seems “ew” to me just like sex does#like going on dates :(#unless this “date” is like going out with a friend#like if it's to a restaurant and it has romantic music and candle lights and those cliche shit i CRINGE#but it it's like an amusement park and it's day and full of people and we laugh a lot and it's just casual/friend stuff i might like it#idk man idk it's been one year that i started suspecting that and it might take longer for me to figure it out :(#aro people and aro characters got me into questioning that#bc we're so used to seeing both aro and ace people as exclusively hating/being disgusted at romance/sex that we forget#that all of us on the a-spec are different and have different experiences#like i might be aromantic and want a romantic relationship bc i like the idea of it and want a romantic partner#and/or a qpp. idk. i still have a lot to figure out about myself.#well aNYWAY#tio morcego tá tagarela
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