#or see myself in a relationship with them

[afterglowsainz]

blowing smoke | max verstappen

summary: you broke up with max a few months ago but that doesn’t prevent you from feeling upset about his new relationship

fc: gracie abrams

a/n: max won the spanish gp and gracie released her album in the same week so ofc that meant i had to make a fic about max inspired by gracie’s album and use her as a faceclaim again ofc ofc

—

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maxverstappen1 nice winter ❄️

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username uhm … sir … that’s not yn ???

username well they did broke up like 2 months ago sooo

username still a bit early, no?

username we love a padel king 🙌🏽

username RARE SHIRTLESS MAX

username the second pic … no need to make me feel single like that

username who’s the new gf tho? 👀

username oh so my parents are over over okay i see 😔

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yourusername back at my second home 🎧

tagged aarondessner

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username MOTHER IS BACK

username new music from yn the earth is healing !!!

alexandrasaintmleux la plus jolie💗

yourusername that would be you🫵🏽

username this breakup album is gonna be heart wrenching isn’t it 😔

username if aaron is participating i just KNOW is gonna be painful

username no i’m already preparing myself mentally to drown in my own tears

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f1gossip max verstappen and his new girlfriend during the winter break

tagged maxverstappen1 and gfusername

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username why does he look bored with her

username cause he is

username ??? you don’t know them, leave them alone

username guys this is not funny i miss yn 😔

username her style is so good!

username i don’t like herrrr she gives me bad vibes

username fortunately you’re not the one who has to like her

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gfusername my valentine💘

tagged maxverstappen1

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username oh!

username first pic 🥰🥰

username last pic 😍😍

username that should be me!!!

username okay yeah she’s pretty

username they look so good together🥰

username someone check my girl yn’s pulse!!

username honestly i would k word myself if i lost THE max verstappen

username nahhh yn > max

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yourusername back to my ways like 2019

tagged sabrinacarpenter

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username ohhh she saw the post

username girl no!!! come back to 2024!!!

raye ohhh yes! 🍸

username omg 2019 yn you will always be famous ‼️

username okay but escapism is definitely her song

alexandrasaintmleux 🥰

username alex doesn’t approve i see

username guys i don’t know but partying and getting wasted every night like she was doing before meeting max doesn’t seem like the healthiest coping mechanism

username maybe she just wants to have fun now that she’s single 🤷🏽‍♀️ we can’t judge

username exactly! let her live

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maxverstappen1 great to be back! let’s go for more victories 🏆

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username to another year of hearing the dutch anthem every sunday

redbullracing for more career wins this year 🦁

username bro really posted a thirst trap for his first race win of the year

username no because the sun hitting his face like that ??? can’t complain

username lovely win 😮‍💨

username sooo babygirl

username he really is for the girlies!

gfusername 💗💗💗

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f1gossip max verstappen at the after party of the saudi arabian grand prix seen without his girlfriend despite her attending the race

tagged maxverstappen1

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username max with a backwards cap is gonna be the end of me

username only man with a basic wardrobe that can look that hot

username 🥵 🥵 🥵

username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE CAPTION

username without … the girlfriend … despite her being at the race …

username you’re reading too much into it

username let us be delusional in peace

username good for him!

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yourusername now you know what we’ve been doing …. “Blowing Smoke” is out now! ⭐️

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username my girlfriend is releasing music again !!!

username song of the summer frrrr

username im obsessed with it 😍

lilymhe certified pop banger🤘🏽

yourusername a hole in one if i may 👀

username “if she’s got a pulse she meets your standards now” damn…

username she didn’t go to the studio to play

username “you couldn’t point her out in any crowd”

username “tell me if she takes you far enough away from all the baggage you've been carrying”

username “you feel nothing and yet you still let her”

username she wrote so many unhinged lyrics it’s insane‼️

alexandrasaintmleux favorite song ever 💞

yourusername you say that about all of them 🙄

alexandrasaintmleux they’re all amazing!

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yourusername miss going on tour so much we’re doing it again! buy your tickets, bring your friends, we’re gonna have a rocking summer! 🎸✨

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username omg i’m hearing blowing smoke live 😭😭

username FINALLY

username she keeps feeding us and feeding us

username guys i just saw the dates and she performs on miami the same weekend of the grand prix …

username i noticed the same! is the only date that coincides with a grand prix

username could it be …. never mind

username no because even if none of the guys are thinking of going i just know the wags are dragging them

username you just made my entire year😩

francisca.cgomes and we’ll be going 😮‍💨

yourusername 💙💙💙

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maxverstappen1 lovely miami 🇺🇸

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username none of things i’m thinking of are in the bible

username TU-TU-TU-DU

username men should not be this hot

username pretending i didn’t see the last pic 😁

username he needs to post a warning next time

username let it gooo touch some grass

username SO DID HE WENT TO THE CONCERT OR NOT

username one of the girlies who went let us know!!!

username well the whole grid was there so i can only assume he was too 😭

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yourusername miami you are (as always) the loml

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username BEST NIGHT EVER

username you’re surreal and that was the best concert i’ve ever been to 💗

alexandrasaintmleux the most talented ever! 💘

yourusername 💞💞💞

username GRAMMY WHEN

username i may never recover from this night

username max lurching in the likes 👀

username oh he was definitely there

lilymhe screaming crying never getting over it !!!

yourusername obsessed with you screaming all the songs to my face 😭

alex_albon at least she wasn’t right by your side leaving you deaf ❌

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f1wags last pictures of max verstappen seen with his girlfriend arguing outside their hotel during the miami grand prix weekend two weeks ago. they haven’t been seen together ever since and they stopped following each other from social media

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username guys don’t get me excited 😩

username omg ??? are we out of the trenches ???

username not them breaking up after yn’s concert 😭

username ngl i don’t hate this

username does this mean yn and max have a chance of getting back together ???

username pls i need that to happen

username guys can you blame him??? he listened to blowing smoke!!!

username and mess it up, and i miss you i’m sorry, and feels like, and

username my divorced parents are getting back together i’m calling it

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and others

maxverstappen1 having a rocking summer🎸✨

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username EXCUSE ME

username not the caption‼️

username THE HARD LAUNCHING?

username how much do we wanna bet that yn gave him that drawing and he was waiting to post it

username THE LAST PIC???😭

username they’re the cutest

yourusername max! i thought we said we would soft launch

maxverstappen1 oops🤭

username we manifested too hard to the sun

username i just know he couldn’t wait to get back with yn

alexandrasaintmleux she’s everything 😍😍

yourusername you’re the loml you know that

maxverstappen1 uhmmm 🤨

charles_leclerc back off 🤺🤺🤺 yourusername

[barcaatthemoon]

guiding hand || fridolina rolfo x reader ||

you and frido sleep together for the first time.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

it wasn't often that you found yourself in barcelona. frido hated pulling you from your studies, so she often found herself making the trek to sweden to see you. this little vacation to barcelona was like a dream come true. you had been waiting for months for frido to take the step and introduce you to her club teammates.

everybody on the swedish national team knew you. you were one of them, zecira's baby sister. it had been a huge deal when frido let it slip that she liked you, and an even bigger one whenever the two of you had started dating. you didn't care about the age gap, and it had taken a lot of work to prove to frido that you were mature enough for things to work.

you hadn't begun to worry about that until one of your teammates brought up sex. zecira and frido had rushed to make sure that you didn't have to answer the question during a team bonding truth or dare game. afterwards, it had been awkward when both your sister and girlfriend separately cornered you that night to ask the same question.

it wasn't a big secret, but you hadn't exactly been jumping at the chance to tell the team that you were a virgin. zecira had been somewhat relieved at the news until she saw how distraught you looked. frido had been great in reassuring you that things would move at a pace you were comfortable with. however, that didn't stop you from the terrifying thought of her not wanting to be with you anymore.

"good morning gorgeous," frido greeted you with a kiss to the cheek. you blushed as you pushed yourself back into her arms. she wrapped you up snugly, moving you along with her as she made coffee and breakfast for the two of you. "how did you sleep?"

"okay, but it would have been better if you stayed in bed with me," you told her. frido bit her lip as she turned you around to face her. "i know that you're being a gentlewoman, but things don't have to move at a snail's pace. i want more, i just need you to show me."

"i wouldn't want to overstep," frido said. she could see the frown forming on your face as you took in another rejection. it was starting to feel like maybe frido wasn't interested in you sexually. you felt like your relationship was closer to a friendship at times.

"it's not overstepping. i know you. i trust you. i like you. i want to give myself to you," you told her. frido swallowed nervously as she tried to back up, only to realize that she had trapped the two of you between the counter and island. "it doesn't have to be right now, but i'd really like for us to try something soon."

"i just want you to be sure." frido leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head. she slid past you to get out of the kitchen, leaving you to stand there with what felt like another rejection.

…

"(y/n), i need to ask you something, and i need you to be honest with me. the sex, is that something that you really want? you don't feel pressured by anybody else or even me, do you?" frido's tone had your heart racing with fear. you didn't think that you had heard her that serious before outside of a big game.

"of course that's what i want. i've been thinking about it for weeks. honestly, the last couple of times that you've stayed over and didn't try anything, kind of made me wonder if you liked me," you told her. frido's eyebrows knit together as she stared down at you.

"don't think like that, i want you so badly that my heart aches. sometimes, i don't know how i keep my hands off of you," frido said. she moved forward a little as she pulled you to sit on her lap.

"you don't have to keep your hands off of me." that seemed to be all that frido needed. she coverd your body with hers, pressing you down against the couch. you felt safe pinned beneath her body as she kissed you. each kiss that you shared on the couch was sweet, but once frido picked you up to carry you back to her bedroom, the kisses became rougher.

frido started to press a little harder, leaving your lips bruised as you tried to suck in deep breaths. you were never given a chance to catch your breath, not that you wanted it. you were more than happy suffocating if it meant that frido would keep kissing you. you loved every bit of it from the firm press of her lips against yours to the little bites that she left in between kisses.

"lay back for me baby. you're doing so good already," frido told you. there was something about her voice that was driving you a little crazy. her words of praise made your stomach flutter pleasantly while her tone sent shivers down your spine. you doubted that she would even have to touch you if kept talking to you like that.

"frido please, i need you," you whined. you had never felt such an intense craving for somebody else before.

"okay, i just need you to do a couple of things for me. you can handle that, can't you?" there was something condescending about the way she spoke to you, but all it did was turn you on. you had spent so much of your life trying to be hyper-independent that you forgot what it was like to sit back and let someone else take over for you.

"i want to try. i'll try anything for you," you said. it felt so natural, despite what you had told yourself for years.

"that's what i like to hear." frido leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips. it was a small reward, one that left you wanting more. "first, i need you to take off your clothes for me. it doesn't have to be all of them, just what you're comfortable with, okay?"

you moved quickly to undress yourself. frido's gaze on your body was intense and lingering. she seemed focused, as if she was memorizing exactly what your body looked like. you stood in front of her naked, unsure of whether or not she would be okay with you covering yourself.

"it's not fair to make you stand like that alone," frido said. there was a teasing lilt to her voice that put you at ease almost instantly. frido made sure that you were relaxed as she stood up from the bed. it was a simple touch of her hand on your arm, but it felt like every single time that she had checked up on you before. frido wanted to protect you, no matter what the setting was.

"oh my god," you muttered as you forced yourself to look away from her. frido chuckled as she grabbed your hands and placed them on her hips. you glanced down at your hands, unsure of what to do with the mental image of your hands on her very naked body. "i don't know what to do."

"nothing right now, let me take care of you. think about all the things that my hands are doing to you, and then, later, if you're up to it, we can do this again, but you can touch me." the promise of touching frido was almost too much for you to handle.

frido seemed to understand that you were feeling like it was a lot, so she guided you back to the bed. you felt a little more comfortable sitting in her lap. you didn't think of the full skin contact, but rather the familiar warmth of being curled up with frido. she lured you away from your own racing thoughts with soft kisses and gentle touches.

"do you want to keep going?" frido asked as she held onto your hips. she was about to turn you around so that you'd be straddling her. it would no longer just be making you. you knew that, and with that in mind, you nodded. "if you want to stop at all, it's okay."

"i know," you told her. frido smiled as she flipped the two of you. you found yourself trapped beneath her body as she kissed you again. this one felt heavier than the rest. each of these kisses completely stole your breath as soon as you managed to catch it again. frido nudged your legs apart and gently stroked one of her fingers through your folds.

"do you like that? do you need less or more?" frido asked as she continuously stroked her finger against you.

"more," you told her. frido nodded and added another finger. she didn't dare try to slip them inside of you, just gently stroking. you weren't sure how far things would go. there was a somewhat familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach.

not that you had ever told anybody, but you had gotten yourself off a few times. it had always been rare before, but more frequent when you started dating fridolina. she was often the main thought in your brain whenever you found your hands wandering at night.

"stop that, i want to hear you." frido nipped at your neck, smirking against your skin when she heard the little yelp you let out. you had been biting your lip to keep quiet, unsure of how loud she wanted you to be.

"i'm sorry," you mumbled out an apology. you were careful to keep yourself unrestrained as frido touched you. her fingers worked your body up quicker than you had ever been able to do yourself. she wasn't touching you in a way that you hadn't attempted before. you couldn't believe how quickly she had you cumming, especially whenever you knew that she hadn't really done much.

"you've done so good for me. we're going to take a break, okay? i don't want to overwhelm you tonight," frido said. she ran the hand that hadn't been between your legs over your chest soothing, tracing little patterns into your skin with the edge of her nail. the fingers on her other hand slipped past her own lips as she got her first taste of you. "would you like a shower or should i come back with a washcloth?"

"shower please," you answered. frido started the shower up before she came back to get you. she let you go in first, and joined you a couple of minutes later. you were kept under the water while it was still hot. frido took her time in cleaning you up.

"i know that you brought your own clothes, but i thought you could sleep in something of mine tonight," frido said as she pulled you onto her lap. her fingers were dangerously close to your cunt, but frido was careful in never crossing that line.

"i like the sound of that." you let frido put a t-shirt on your body. you got up to put on the briefs that she had brought you. there was an old pair of sweatpants that frido had stolen from either you or your sister that you knew she had only picked out for you because you couldn't fit in them. frido pretended that she had no idea they were too small and just decided to sleep in them herself.

[alexiroflife]

how jjk men would react if they found out you sh…

Warning(s): cw//self harm, graphic depictions, mentions of depression, anxiety, sensitive content, angst/comfort

-> if you or anyone you know is struggling with self-harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, etc., know that you aren’t alone. as someone who used to struggle with these things myself, i understand how difficult it can be, but know that you are strong and you are loved. and thank you for the ask, this is a very important topic and i appreciate the vulnerability of the request. sending all the possible love in the world to all of you.

gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna

satoru gojo: satoru has an incredible sense of sight, thanks to his gift of the six eyes, as well as very keen observation skills. he picks up on little habits you harbor very quickly during the beginning of your relationship. you always choose to wear long-sleeved clothing, even when it’s warm, and you tug at your sleeves as though you are desperately trying to conceal a certain part of yourself from the outside world, from him. he doesn’t understand why at first. the thought crosses his mind that you just aren’t comfortable in sleeveless clothing, but you’ve shown him pictures of yourself from a decade ago when you’d wear variations of different tank tops, short sleeves, and more. he doesn’t understand what changed somewhere along the line. perhaps your sense of style has shifted? maybe you don't like your arms? (he can't understand how because he finds them to be the most gorgeous arms he's ever seen).

but no, something is nagging at him in the back of his head, churning the contents of his gut as though there is something he needs to know, to see that you were hiding, and when the moment unveiled itself, he instantly saw. 

you’re in your kitchen while satoru watches you from the other side of the island, leaning over and gazing at your movements with a soft smile. his blue eyes scattered across your body, admiring you while simultaneously searching for any clue, any answer to his hovering questions.

“where’d i put the containers,” you murmur to yourself in the midst of making lunch for the week, moving about your space rather slowly. 

satoru offers his own help, pointing a slender finger over to the space above your head. “did you check that cabinet?” he asks.

you turn over your shoulder and quirk your brow. “oh, do you live here now? suddenly know where everything is?” you ask playfully, a small smile rising to your lips as satoru chuckles. 

“not yet,” he winks. “but i sure am working on it, though. you know i have to make myself familiar with the space in case we share it someday.”

“is that so?”

“or, of that doesn't work out you could always live with me. i’d love to have you.”

“we’ve been together for three weeks, satoru.”

“yeah, but what does that matter when it comes to loveeee,” he pouts and you giggle, shaking your head as you turn back to reach for the cabinet. you stand on your tiptoes and reach out, sleeve of your sweet draping down to your elbow.

satoru is quick to his feet to help you, though you’re more than capable, when he catches the sight of what looks like a scar streaking over the inside of your wrist. his face falls and his brows angle, marching over to you quickly with a look of urgency on his face.

you don’t register how fast he is moving until you feel him behind you. you turn and look up, caught off guard by the way his eyes had hardened and his pupils shrank. your hand stalls on the cabinet handle, the scars on your arm completely slipping your mind momentarily.

“satoru? you okay?”

he doesn’t answer, grasping your wrist in his hand gently and pulling it down from above you. your eyes flicker up to the movement, and when you realize what is happening, your heart sinks. your eyes go wide and you try to tug your arm away, but satoru’s grip tightens slightly, extending your arm by your wrist to display the inside of your forearm before him. 

he thinks his vision is blurring over, his heart ringing in his ears, his breaths quickening as his eyes detail over the row of rigid scars lining from your inner elbow up to your wrist. his world collapses around him, lips stretching into a disbelieving grimace as his wild eyes survey the damage. some of those scars look newer than others, scabbing over with specs of purple, while the others are far older. 

you panic, trying to tug away again, but satoru’s grip on you is too secure. a lump forms in your throat as you search for things to say, anything to say that could take your boyfriend’s attention away, that could excuse the sight before him as something else. “s-satoru, wait-” you stammer, your voice weaker than you had intended it to be. 

satoru looks like he can’t hear you, nose flaring as he stares, and stares, and stares, and suddenly, your vulnerability is bare naked before him, on display for him to judge, to belittle, to curl his brows at and determine as pathetic and weak. you can feel yourself about to cry already, shaken by this sudden attention.

“satoru,” you whisper, arm trembling within his grasp.

“what is this?” he breathes out so quietly, his voice betraying himself and hardly reaching over a brush through the wind. when you do not answer, those pained eyes are on you, tormented by the sight he has just witnessed. “(y/n), what is this?”

you feel small, avoiding his eyes and looking all over the floor. “i- it’s nothing,” you murmur.

“nothing?” he repeats, as though he has been burned by your response. the white haired man quickly seeks out your other wrist, reaching down to your other side as you try to turn away, but he, of course, manages to seize it and extend it like your other arm and roll up that sleeve. the same row of scars litter your beautiful skin.

satoru’s a mess, frightened, confused, devastated. this is what you had been hiding from him all this time? “this isn’t fucking nothing, (y/n), they’re all over you! what did you do?”

you still can’t respond, you can’t muster up an excuse, you can’t do anything. satoru’s concern is far too overbearing, his gaze too intense, and his hold on you too secure. it feels like he has you laid out on a slab before him, stripped of your clothes as he examines your body with contempt.

he’s disgusted. he’s ashamed, you think. 

amid his grief, he catches the terrified look in your eye, your lips tugged downward as if to prevent yourself from crying. you look so scared.

how could he have not seen this sooner, that you’re hurting? that you’re hurting yourself? 

“baby, what did you do?” he repeats, softer this time as he leans down to look at you, your body trembling in his hold. his thumbs graze your inflamed skin, hesitant to touch you for fear that you may break.

“please don’t,” you breathe out in a huff, voice wobbling as you scrunch your eyes closed. “please, don’t look. just forget you saw it, please.”

“forget i-?” satoru has to stop himself from lashing out poorly, from allowing his emotions to overcome him in what he understands is clearly your moment of need. “how could you ask me to do something like that? (y/n), your arms, baby!”

“satoru, please-” you shake your head. you want to shrink away, to hide, to vanish into thin air. “i don’t wanna talk about it. please.”

“(y/n),” he exhales, closing his eyes to gather himself. “(y/n),” he repeats softly, hands releasing your wrists slowly and sliding up your arms to delicately hold your shoulders. “we can’t not talk about this. you have to tell me what’s been going on. you have to, baby, you have to understand how scared I am right now. help me understand. let me help you, let me take on whatever burden you’re carrying, please, I’ll do anything as long as it means you’re not hurting yourself.”

his hands move to your neck, cupping over the skin as he ducks his head down to look at you more clearly. 

“i can’t stand the thought that you’ve been- and i haven’t-” satoru was stumbling now, throat straining as the urge to cry rose. “why didn’t you come to me? i’m right here for you, (y/n), i always have been. why didn’t you tell me?”

“...it’s embarrassing,” you manage to say, your voice fragile, on the verge of breaking. you can feel your boyfriend’s eyes peering into you even with your own eyes closed. “didn’t want you to see… I didn’t wanna be a burden.”

satoru’s heart is breaking for you, hurt that you could even think of yourself as a burden to him. “have i- have i done or said anything to you to make you feel that way?” he asks genuinely, and you cringe, turning your head to the side to open your eyes.

“no, of course not.”

“then why would you think that, baby?”

you shrug helplessly, tears welling into your eyes. satoru sees you, all of you, his heart thrumming to capture the pain you feel and to lift it from your chest, to help you breathe even just a little bit. he releases a weighted sigh, one of sadness, of love, of heartache for you, and he’s pulling you into him as your arms dangle limply at your sides. 

you scrunch your eyes and immediately break down into him, sobbing into his shirt as his warm hands wash over your frame and cradle your head to him, the muscles in his face tight with anguish. he holds onto you like he’s horrified that you will fade away within his arms. 

“i’m just so tired, toru,” you cry into his chest, dampening the fabric of his shirt. “i’m sorry.”

satoru doesn’t respond, afraid that if he speaks, he’ll end up crying too. you’re his girl, his beautiful, loving girl, and the fact that you have done such harm to yourself is incomprehensible to him. if you love him so, how can you hate yourself enough to have done this?

“how long?” is all he can ask you, breath heaving into your hair and ear. you hesitate, for he already seems so wounded by his discovery. “tell me.”

“...two years…”

he’s crushed. how did he not see sooner? how could he have been so blind after having bragged about being able to see everything so clearly? how could he have left you like this?

he holds you tighter, digging his head into the crook of your neck and hunching over, your eyes now seeing over the curve of his broad shoulder. 

“i’m sorry, baby,” he apologizes to you in turn, fingers curling into your hair as he holds your scalp. “i'm sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

you’re confused as to why he’s apologizing to you since the entire thing is your fault. satoru has a tendency to take on your emotions, piling them onto his own weight of carrying the title of the strongest. you never understood why he did so naturally and willingly, and why even now as you stood limply in his arms, he’s crying for the things you did to yourself.

he pulls away with shiny red eyes, gazing down into your shiny red eyes and tear stained cheeks. you’re so beautiful, he thinks. he hates that such beauty has been suffering in so much silence.

“(y/n), I love you more than anything in this goddamn world. please don’t- don’t keep doing this to yourself. if you’re hurting, come to me. hurt me if you have to lash out, but don’t hurt yourself beautiful.”

“i would never even think of hurting you, satoru.”

“then don’t think of doing it to yourself,” he says firmly, and you press your lips together. 

“…i-i don’t know how to… to stop,” you mumble, and he’s taking your hands in his and kissing them gently.

“i’ll help you. we can get you help, baby, I promise. just promise me, please,” he begs you, holding your hands close to his heart. “you come to me when you feel like doing that, okay? you come to me. and I’ll do whatever I can. let me help you. let me be there for you. i won’t let you push me out, (y/n).”

you're crying again, tears streaking over your face as satoru’s love captures you within his words, within his warmth as he forces you to understand that you are not alone, and never will be. 

satoru kisses your hands again. his lips reach your cheek, and his hand comes to tuck your head into his shoulder again, holding you and telling you that you have him to go to when your world grows dark.

geto suguru: if suguru could sum you up into one word, he would say that you're his universe.

everything in his life he does for the sake of you and his girls, for the sake of keeping you safe and making you happy. your happiness and your comfortability are the only things that suguru prioritizes above all else, making them his very goal to serve each and every day.

suguru's not the most stable, you know that and he knows that himself. he has his off days, where he falls quiet and the world around him numbs itself and the noise becomes a muffle in his ears until you step into view, giving him a smile and wrapping his big frame up in your small arms, your voice whispering to him and breaking through the fog. you're his sanctuary. you're his safe place, and he loves you so much. he owes his entire life to you, therefore ensuring that you feel just as loved as you make him feel is very important to him.

so when he catches sight of the scars on your stomach one day by accident, when you lift up mimiko to sit on your shoulder as nanako jumps up for you to pick her up to, and her shoe kicks up your shirt from your waist momentarily, suguru freezes.

are you hurt? did someone do this to you? did you do this to yourself?

countless thoughts are racing through suguru's mind as he stares at you in a daze, watching you laugh so joyfully along with the girls as though no trouble plagues you.

but there is. you've just been hiding it. hiding it far too well.

his mind is elsewhere for the rest of the day, unsure of if he had been imagining things or not. he knows you so well, or at least he thinks he does. how have you been hiding those marks littering your lower abdomen? how had he missed them?

he thinks back to the moments you two were intimate and recalls that you never wanted to remove the tanktop you wore or let him kiss further than your ribs. he recalls the days you all went to the beach and you kept a white shirt over your swimsuit or elected to wear a onepiece. he recalls how quickly you change when he's with you, your back turned to him as you rush to throw something on over your upper body.

the signs... they're all there. you've been hiding yourself from him, but why? what have you been doing? have you truly been harming yourself, or is that thought a trick of suguru's worst fears?

he tries to keep himself calm around you and the girls for the remainder of the day until they are put to sleep and the two of you are alone again.

you sit on the edge of your shared bed, rubbing lotion over your arms with your back facing suguru again. he watches you carefully, back resting against the headboards and hazel eyes trained on your figure as though you aren't real.

he waits for the proper moment, waiting for you to crawl up and curl under his side, his arm subconsciously wrapping over your waist as your head lays on his chest. he stares at the ceiling for a moment, thinking as weighty silence overcomes you, then he's cautiously speaking.

"(y/n)?"

the soft call of your name brings your head up to peer at him curiously, blinking innocently. he turns down to look at your face and his heart clenches. while he knows that he knows what he saw, he doesn't want to believe it. he doesn't want to think that you, such a selfless and caring person for him, would hurt yourself.

you hum up at him, wondering what he has called you for. you see the pensive look in his face, the subtle knit in his brow as he stares at you, gears in his head turning. "yeah sugu?" you say gently.

he doesn't want to ask, but he has to. he doesn't want the confirmation, but he needs to know.

"i want to ask you a question..." he says, and you grow slightly befuddled.

"...okay?" you start. "is it serious?"

"yeah, it is," he admits, and you suddenly grow nervous, immediately catching an idea of what this could be about. you don't like the look on his face, the way he appears so serious.

"...alright," you mumble, suddenly meek.

the black haired man stares for a few more moments, just looking at you, taking in your the features he feel so deeply in love with, the features that bring him comfort and peace. "i saw something earlier, when you were holding mimiko," he begins softly, thumb caressing your back to ease you into the conversation.

you feel your heart jolt anxiously, trying to keep a straight face so as to not give your nerves away, but knowing suguru, he could likely already tell that you're getting antsy.

you lift your head to look at him, hand resting over his chest, and his eyes follow you smoothly. his eyes are focused, lips in a firm line.

"your shirt lifted, and i saw your stomach. i saw some marks. a lot of them, actually," he says, and you still completely, like a deer caught in headlights. his hand presses gently into your back, trying to keep you present with him as his concerns grow worse when he sees you stiffen against him. he frowns, denial still taking hold of him. "(y/n), please tell me those aren't what i think they are," he sighs heavily.

you feel caught.

you knew that suguru would find out at some point or another, but that didn't make this moment any less horrifying for you. it's so quiet in your room, so isolating, no background noise of the girls giggling or the distant buzz of the tv to help weaken the intensity of this point in time. you feel like a spotlight is shining overhead, an audience awaiting eagerly for you to reveal your secrets to the crowd.

suguru sits up slightly, his calmness gradually shifting into terrified incredulity. your eyes are on his face but your gaze is elsewhere, far off. you look uncomfortable, stuck, and no explanation hits suguru's ears.

"(y/n)," he says your name again, looking desperately down at you. "tell me i'm wrong."

you wish you could, you really do, but you can't lie to suguru. he knows you too well, he loves you too much, and to lie to him would be like denying his understanding of who you are.

you feel your skin flush with shame and anxiety, heartbeat likely loud enough for your boyfriend to hear.

you worry. you worry about your boyfriend's judgment, for his reaction. is he going to be angry with you?

"hey," he snaps you out of your daze with the drag of your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes as he stares at you helplessly. you look at him and frown, ashamed that you are the reason he looks so pained. "what's going on?"

the question comes out so delicately, it makes your heart break. a whisp of understanding blends into his tone with empathy, yet a crushing sense of sadness and guilt that overpowers the aforementioned emotions. you struggle to look him in his kind eyes, dreading his consolation that you feel you don't deserve.

"talk to me, (y/n)."

you chew angrily on the inside of your lip, looking down at your finger as you pick at his shirt. he watches your brows furl, an array of different feelings capturing your features. "i was gonna tell you about it..." you murmur, and suguru is floored.

"what?" he breathes out as though he has no more air. you wince, lowering your head. "you-" he pauses, mind jumping from one place to another. "you did that to yourself?"

"i'm sorry, i-" you can feel your throat growing tight. "i've been trying to-"

"to stop?" he tries to finish for you, grasping for any kind of explanation. he's devastated, not only because you've been harming yourself, but because you've been so busy looking after him and the girls that he hasn't noticed. you're the one who always comforts him, but while you've been doing that, you've been aching on the inside and trying to hide it.

you nod meekly when he concludes for you. "i just- i thought the feelings would go away, so i didn't say anything, but they're just getting worse and i don't know what to do anymore and i only feel better after i..."

"(y/n)," he stops you gently, his heart shattering upon listening to you ramble, spilling out the things you have been holding onto for what he assumes to have been so long. "you've been dealing with this all this time?"

"...it's on and off," you confess. "some days are better than others, but..."

suguru finds your words familiar, for he often finds himself in the exact same mindset; feeling functional and confident some days, and others, not so much, but you're the reason why he's able to handle his bad days, yet he hasn't been the same for you for as long as the two of you have been together.

he feels almost sick. he loves you to death. you're his everything, but you've been in pain, and he hasn't seen it.

the way he's looking at you now makes you feel guilty, remorseful, embarrassed. you know you should have told him, but you could never find the strength to. you had always been too scared. and the longer you self-harm, the less you are willing to admit to yourself and to your boyfriend that you have a problem.

you're shocked, though, when suguru's hands tighten over you and his face grows bitter, not with you but with himself. "how could i have been so stupid?" he grumbles, distraught. "and so selfish? all this time, you-"

"no, suguru, please, it's not your fault," you try to tell him.

"i should have seen, baby, i should have noticed something sooner. and all this time, instead you've been looking after me when i should have been looking after you."

"don't say that, suguru," you shift, looking sadly into his eyes. "it's my fault. i'm the one who did this, i'm the one who's to blame. i'm the stupid and selfish one, not you."

suguru's frown deepens, sad eyes looking over your face. you blame and belittle yourself just as easily as suguru does, and he can't stand it. he can't stand to see you like this, to be so aware of hurt before him. he wants, no, he needs to take all that pain away from you. he needs to exorcize it, rid your body of it, cast it away so that you can be happy from now until the rest of time. he needs you to be okay.

"i swear on my life, (y/n)," he begins firmly, eyes boring straight into yours, holding your cheek. "i will do everything in my power to get you through this. whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes, i will be here for you. you're not alone, you understand? you don't need to pretend for me. the girls love you- god i love you so fucking much, and i can't stomach to think of the times you've suffered in silence for my sake. i'm no good if you're no good, baby. i need to know these things, i need to be able to help you."

your nose twitches and your jaw clenches as you look into him, breathing growing unstable. suguru has always been so generous and so loving. he has a way with his words and how safe they make you feel even during your worst moments.

"but what if i can't do it, sugu?" you whisper, his thumb catching the tear that leaks from the corner of your eye. "what if i'm not strong enough to get better?"

"you are strong enough," he affirms confidently. "more than strong enough. and when you feel weak, lean on me. but you have to promise me something."

you nod slowly, mutely, keeping his gaze as he stares at you lovingly, wistfully.

"promise me you won't do it," his words come out as a quick, hasty breath. his brows curl further upward, his desperation plain on his pretty face. "promise me you'll let me know as soon as you want to, but don't hurt yourself again, (y/n). don't do it. i'm begging you. you don't deserve that pain."

though you are unsure if you can even make that promise to yourself, you force yourself to try. for suguru's sake. "okay," you mumble, and he sighs, kissing you softly and pulling you to his chest to whisper sweet nothings as his hands soothe over your stomach and your back.

nanami kento: you twist your fingers around each other as you sit in the living room while kento cooks in the kitchen. you're nervous, more nervous than you have been about anything in your entire life, but you know that you need to rip off this bandaid to approach your boyfriend about such a serious matter.

recently, you find yourself returning to the old habit that you believed to have been relinquished. you thought that you had gotten better, that the urge to self harm had completely gone away after having spent so much time in therapy trying to heal, but recently, you've been feeling down again, useless, angry with yourself. you didn't want to tell nanami at first because you didn't think that your current mood would go beyond feeling depressed, but now that you've started scratching away at your thighs and your arms again, you know that you need to let him know what's going on. you know that you can't go on like this anymore.

but you have no idea what to say.

nanami has been nothing but doting toward you, bringing you flowers every morning, making your meals, ensuring that you remember to schedule doctor's appointments or to keep yourself warm when it's cold out- the man's life revolves around your comfortability, and while you know he would be far more offended if you keep this to yourself, you're horrified to see his reaction when you tell him that you relapsed.

nanami is well aware of your past difficulties with your mental health, and he always tells you that if you are ever in a dark space again, he needs to know. even so, he hasn't been with you when you're like this. the two of you got together after the multiple therapy visits that helped you to shift mindsets, so now that you feel this way again, and while in a relationship with nanami no less, you feel petrified.

you don't even notice when he rounds the kitchen counter to make his way over to the dining table, setting down two plates of food. he looks over and catches the way you stare ahead blankly, lost in thought. you've been doing a lot of that lately and he wonders if something is wrong.

nevertheless, he knows that if something is bothering you, you'll tell him. "sweetheart, dinner's ready," he calls out, and you snap your head over to him, his voice bringing you out of your daze.

you stand wordlessly, movements somewhat robotic, as you slowly make your way over to the table. "thanks, ken," you say softly, lacking your usual energy, and at this point, your partner knows for certain that something is off.

he watches you carefully as you sit down, pushing in your seat for you and pecking your forehead before sitting down next to you. "tell me how your day was," he starts, brushing off his hands and reaching one out to rest one on your knee as he always did at the table. he's prying, you can tell, trying to learn if something that happened throughout the day affected your mood.

your heart is hammering loudly, your eyes stuck to the plate and unable to look up at him. "it was okay," you respond.

"just okay?" he questions and you nod slowly. "did something happen?"

you flicker your eyes up to his brown ones suddenly, caught off guard by the question. he sees the questioning in your eyes and replies accordingly.

"you seem to be a little off, this evening, that's all."

you hum, unsure of how to respond to his observation. you look away again, contemplating. just say it, you think. just tell him, just get it over with.

as you struggle against yourself, nanami only grows more concerned. you don't confirm or deny his comment, and the way you turn away has him wondering if he's done something to hurt you.

"did i do something wrong, darling?" he asks.

you furrow your brows and quickly shut down the idea. "no, no. not at all, ken. it's nothing you did."

"then... there is something troubling you?"

you stall a bit more now that you're on the spot, cursing the fact that kento is always so quick to pick up on the smallest changes in your demeanor.

"(y/n)?" he calls you when you don't answer.

"i have to tell you something," you say abruptly. you see nanami's brows raise ever so slightly, soft brown eyes looking over your face in an attempt to read the situation before you tell him anything. "it's... a lot. so i need you to just... bear with me. and please don't be mad."

nanami's brow twitches slightly as he looks at you, head tilting. he grabs the bottom of his chair and shuffles it closer to you, leaning over slightly and running his hand over where it resides on your knee.

"i could never be mad at you," he tells you earnestly, as though it's the most honest thing he's said in the world. "what's the matter, my love?"

god, he's so sweet to you it makes you physically ill that you have to break this news to him.

"...do you remember when we talked about... um..." your voice fades off, nanami's concentrated gaze only making you more nervous for what his reaction will be.

"take your time," he encourages you, and you only feel worse.

you return to chewing on the inside of your lip anxiously, picking at your shirt under the table. the blonde man beside you is ever so patient, allowing you to gather your thoughts before you verbalize them.

"...um...it's.... about what we talked about a while ago..."

"...and that would be regarding?"

"my... past."

nanami furrows his brows, still not quite understanding. "i apologize, honey, what about your past?"

just rip the bandaid. just rip the bandaid.

"my past with self-harming," you rush out, and the weighty silence that follows is enough to make you want to sink into the floor and let it swallow you whole.

you can feel his eyes burning into you, processing what you just told him, and all you can hear is the pound of your heart in your ears as his hand stills upon your knee.

nanami, on the other hand, is completely shocked by your revelation. while he understands that your relapsing has always been a very realistic possibility, he never wanted to entertain the idea that it could very much so happen- at least, not while he's around.

a sense of fear grips him. are you going to tell him that you relapsed? have you already hurt yourself? has he failed to be there when it happened??

"did you-" he doesn't know what he wants to ask, or how. he hates that he is already jumping to conclusions, but the way you are structuring this conversation with him only leads him to believe the worst. "what happened?"

your head hangs low and your fingers taut on your shirt, lips tightening as they press together. you can hear the disbelief in his voice already, and it breaks you.

"i relapsed."

the brown-eyed man clenches his jaw, falling completely silent once more to not react in a way that may worsen your state. you feel his hand tighten into a fist over top of your leg as he lowers his head, rubbing his eyes with his fingers and inhaling sharply. you feel like a child who is awaiting punishment as you look at his hunched state, a million questions of what he will do next running through your mind.

you hate to do this to him. nanami already has so much on his plate, you know this is the last thing he needs to be stressing over. you wish you could be okay for him. it's not his fault that your mind takes you to these places, and you don't want him to bear responsibility as though it is his doing. even so, you already know that he will because that's the type of man kento is. that's the type of boyfriend kento is.

you wait a few more moments in unbearable muteness. after what feels like forever, kento lifts his head again and rests his chin on his fist, elbow propped on his knee. he's looking to the side, deep in anguished thought. he no longer looks surprised, but rather guilty and frustrated. "when?" is the first thing he asks.

"yesterday," you answer dejectedly, and he almost jerks, his body twitching in reaction. "...are you mad?"

nanami looks at you and his hardened expression immediately softens into something melancholy. "no- no, of course not, (y/n), no," he shakes his head as if the notion is unfathomable, releasing his fist to cup your knee again more securely. "i will never be angry with you for what you're going through. never. no, i'm not mad."

you nod quickly, a meek sense of relief and sorrow taking over you, a weight heaving from your chest upon letting it out. "okay," you whimper.

"come here, my darling," he coaxes you softly, opening and grabbing your hand from under the table delicately to lead you to stand over him. his hand guides over the small of you're back once you're up, leading you to sit on his lap with your back pressed against the table and your legs dangling over one side of his chair.

he holds your forearms gently, looking up at you with sad, understanding eyes. "are you comfortable showing me?" he murmurs so intimately, easing you into his warm consolation.

you don't nod or answer him verbally. instead, you wordlessly roll up the sleeve of your sweater to reveal angry red scratch lines running up your inner forearm. nanami's lips curl in pain as though he can feel the sting of your scars, holding your arm gently for him to look over it.

the sight kills him, though he tries to keep his cool. this isn't about him, it's about you, but goodness, the image of the scars on your beautiful skin makes him hurt like no other pain he's experienced.

"is this all of it?" he asks you, and you shake your head.

"there's some on my thighs," you mutter, looking down.

he nods. "alright," he sighs. "alright."

"...i know you have so much on your plate already... i just-"

"don't. don't even," he stops you, eyes still roaming over your irritated skin. nanami usually commends himself for remaining collected in times of crisis, but he's desperately fighting a part of him that wants to yell out and cry for the sake of you.

he imagines you struggling with this on your own, long before he came into your life, and the thought makes him cringe to picture just how far this must have gotten. these scratches he is surveying now already look bad enough. were the other ones worse?

"(y/n), you know this isn't okay," he looks up at your face and sees how you are avoiding his eyes. you look so small compared to how you usually carry yourself, and it kills him. "to harm yourself like this... you can't treat yourself this way, darling, you know you can't."

"i know," you mumble. "i just had a moment, and now i'm scared that- that i'll go back to how things were."

"as long as i'm with you, you won't. i promise you that," nanami swears. "it was just this one time since you last?"

you nod. "yeah..."

"okay," he nods once more, convincing himself that this is something he can help stop before it gets any more out of hand. "why'd you do it this time, my love? what were you thinking that led you here? is there something i can do differently? is it work? is it a combination of things?"

"i wish it were that easy to explain, kento," you frown, glancing up at him helplessly. "but it's just... it's just a feeling i can't put into words. i can't pinpoint the source. i just... one minute i felt like i couldn't breathe, and the next i was..."

"okay," he repeats, letting you know that you no longer need to say anything more. you don't have to revisit it. he understands. he will take care of it. he'll help you. "okay, darling. how about this. i call off of work tomorrow and we can sit and talk about seeing a new therapist. then we can go out and do whatever you want. just for fun. does that sound okay with you?"

your nose flares and your lips tug to the side as you nod, truly not comprehending how you managed to find a man so patient with you. "yeah, that's good," you say softly, and nanami is at least relieved that you are willing to take further steps into a better direction.

"good," he whispers, rolling the sleeve of your sweater back down so that you no longer feel exposed or feel like you have to think any more about the things you did to yourself when you felt alone. "it's alright, my love. we'll get through it. you'll get past this just like you did last time," he encourages you, moving to caress your shoulder lovingly as you hold his gaze. "it's okay," he tells you again, and you nod weakly, leaning over to plop your head against his shoulder.

nanami holds you to him and exhales, food completely forgotten. his only priority now is to be there for you in the ways he could not before the two of you met.

"thank you for telling me."

choso kamo: choso worships the ground you walk on because he can not fathom a world without, nor the fact that you happened to stumble into his life on a whim. to imagine you hurt is the very worst thing that the man can think of, and the notion that you would hurt yourself is beyond his comprehension.

you aren't actively trying to hide any of your scars when he finds them. the scars are old, faded reminders of the pain that you used to endure and how you attempted to cope with it. while you are now six months free of self harming, the scars remain very present.

choso happens to catch sight of your scars when you are getting changed. he's sitting at the edge of your bed, face flushed, as he watches you blissfully change out of your pajamas and into clothes that you feel are best suited for a walk to the ice cream shop that choso has proposed. it's a bright sunday afternoon, and the brunette is eager to take advantage of the weather with the woman he holds close to his heart as well as his baby brother, who the two of you intend to meet at the store.

you're now dressed in nothing but a large white shirt and underwear, your legs bare as you strut around the space freely. choso's jade eyes follow you as you walk, completely obsessed with the way you move. he could watch you do the most mundane things for hours, which he truthfully tends to do anyway.

your back is to him before you round the bed, disappearing into the bathroom momentarily before coming back into the living room. choso's eyes still don't leave you, tracing over your face down your figure and finally to the front of your bare legs.

he falters, and his brows draw together when he catches dark marks littering over your inner thighs, only revealing themselves with the movement of your limbs as you walk.

the pale-skinned man grows confused and slightly concerned. he's never seen those marks on you before, and simultaneously, never on anyone else he knows either. he finds them to be a strange form of battle scars, especially due to the placement, the small size, and the sheer number of them. some of them take different shapes too, blurring together or over each other, while some stand out alone. they almost look like burns, but it's hard for choso to really tell.

you proceed about your business, searching through your drawer to pull out a skirt, when choso speaks up.

"love? what are those?" he asks curiously, perplexed.

you turn over your shoulder, shutting your drawer closed with your foot. "hm? what's what, cho?" you ask him, unsure of what he's referring.

choso, still slightly flustered by the vision of your half exposed body, nods his head into the direction of your lower legs. "those," he says again, and you look down, still lost.

you lift your foot momentarily, checking to see if something is stuck under or on top of it. you then survey the rest of your body, searching for something out of the ordinary. "uhhh," you trail off. "i'm not sure what you mean, baby. you're talking about my legs?"

you are far too desensitized to and familiar with the image of your scars to process that choso has never seen them before. the brunette, however, is unsatisfied, wanting an answer that you have yet to provide.

he leans forward, lifting his hand and pointing his finger directly to a patch of dark spots peeking out from your inner thighs. you follow his gaze, eyes landing on the culprits, and your shoulders drop in realization. "oh," you say shortly, choso retracting his hand.

he looks at you innocently, awaiting a response while you try to figure out how to explain this sight to him.

you don't want to worry him, but knowing choso, if you lead with the fact that these scars are there because you inflicted them onto yourself, he would have a heart attack, failing to find reason to your words.

even so, you know choso only wants to understand you as much as you desire to understand him. he wants to see the ugly parts as well as the beautiful parts of you that he is so drawn to, and if you hide it from him, that would only create a rift in your budding relationship that you aren't entirely too keen on creating.

you want him to know you, all of you, and these scars are as much of a part of you as the bones in your body and the blood pumping through your skin.

they're a sign of what you've been through, what you've overcome, and who you are now. they're important, and choso should know why they are there.

"that's a good question," you sigh, putting your skirt on the bed as you move to sit next to him at the edge of it. choso immediately turns to you, glancing over the marks shamelessly now that he has a better view of them.

"did someone do that to you?" is the first thought that crosses his mind, red drifting into his vision at the mere idea that someone has hurt you in such an intimate way.

"...no," you shake your head, lifting one leg up onto the bed, brushing his own, as the other dangles. "i put them there. a while ago," you explain honestly.

choso scrunches his brows tighter, eyes flickering up to your face then back down to try to identify what exactly the marks are. "what are they?" he repeats.

you exhale, puckering your lips as you prepare yourself for this difficult conversation. "they're burns, cho. from a match," you tell him.

now, the half-curse is incredibly confused. burn marks? on your lovely skin? in a place where only you could reach? put there by yourself?

you burned yourself?

"i don't understand," he frowns, shifting to face you better. "why would you..."

"i used to be in a really bad place, baby," you purse your lips, watching as his face contorts with consternation as he comes to understand that you purposefully harmed yourself.

"what do you mean? bad enough to do this to yourself?" he sounds mortified, his voice growing ragged the moment his tone picks up volume.

his pupils, moments ago blown pools of affection, are now shrunken dots of shock.

"don't look at me like that," you beg him, placing your hand over his own. his eyes snap to the sudden contact, then back to you with concern. "sometimes, when certain people are suffering from depression, or anxiety, or just overall bad thoughts and they feel like they have to... break out, or maybe punish themselves in a sense... they resort to hurting themselves."

choso gulps, lump forming in his throat as he listens to you with shaking eyes. "and that's what you did? you felt like you needed to punish yourself?"

"it's hard to explain to someone on the outside. i know it sounds... crazy, but it was the only way i knew how to cope with everything that i was dealing with."

"why didn't you come to me instead?" he immediately asks and you give him a sad, knowing look.

"because, we didn't know each other then, cho?"

"i don't care," he shakes his head, eyes keeping yours. "you should have found me."

the idea brings a hint of a smile to your lips, choso's sweetness warming your heart. "i didn't know who you were, baby, that would have been like begging a stranger for help."

"so?" he scoffs. "i loved you the moment i met you. it wouldn't have made any difference to me.

you sigh again, bringing your other hand to rest over top of your boyfriend's as you smile softly at him in an attempt to get him to calm down.

the panic is still written all over his face as he takes in your smile, the vision somehow only making him sadder. you're so gorgeous, inside and out, and that smile is only scratching the surface of your unending beauty.

to know now that your radiance was once outweighed by the torment in your mind encouraging you to harm yourself... well, it makes choso want to ball his eyes out. it makes him want to confront the physical manifestation of your past traumas and pummel it into the ground, bashing its head in for all the hurt that it has caused you.

"i ended up just fine, cho," you reassure him.

"why didn't you say anything before? were you trying to keep it from me?"

"no, baby, i just didn't think to tell you. i kinda forgot about them," you say, and that comment alone makes choso soften his features slightly.

"you forgot..." he recites your words. "does that mean you're better now?"

you hum in affirmation, smiling warmly. "it's been a while since i've hurt myself or done anything like that. i got through it. i'm okay now, these scars are just a permanent reminder of the past."

his frame sags slightly with relief, brows lifting as he looks over you with a blank expression. "i think i understand," he mumbles, looking back down at the marks. "i'm sorry you ever had to go through any of that."

"it's not your fault. you weren't there."

"i wish i had been. so i could have helped more. i know you said you're better, but maybe if i had been there i could've stopped you from hurting yourself at all."

"i wouldn't put that responsibility onto yourself, cho. it was my responsibility."

"still," his brows arch slightly. "i would have stuck with you every second of every day to make sure that you never had a second alone to do any of it. i wouldn't have let you, and i won't let you now." a thought seems to pop into his head when he finishes his last sentence. "you wouldn't go back to trying to hurt yourself, (y/n), would you?

you exhale. "i mean, i'd like to think i wouldn't, but sometimes these things aren't linear," you admit. "i just know that for now, i'm okay."

"the second you're not, though, you'd tell me?"

"yes. i would."

"you promise?"

"i promise, baby."

"okay," he sighs. "because i don't think i'd be able to function knowing you're upset."

the brown haired man leans over, carefully holding your thigh as he looks over your marks again, no longer flustered by your bare skin but entirely focused on the severity of your burns. you look down at him, hands slipping from his own as he surveys you closely like he's a doctor.

"they don't hurt anymore, do they?"

"nope. just scarred."

choso looks at you for a bit longer in silence before looking back up at you from his hunched state. "can i kiss them?"

you laugh softly, hand falling into his hair at you gaze at him with your heart aglow. "you want to kiss them?"

he nods. "so they can feel loved."

you coo, thumb smoothing over his temple as his eyes swell with adoration right before you. "of course you can."

toji fushiguro: toji is absolutely no stranger to scars. he's a human man with no cursed energy, having had his fair share of close calls on risky jobs that have left him with slashes over his calves, small pierces in his flesh, and cracked callouses. then, of course, there's the scar on his mouth bestowed upon him by his oh-so-loving family, which will be stuck with for the rest of his life.

scars follow toji like moths follow a flame, and he's numb to it. he believes that they are a part of life, both physically and mentally, especially with the kind of life that he leads. whether the wound is a large one or a small one he can barely see, he accepts scars as a part of who he is-

who he is.

while toji likes to parade around with a hardened exterior decorated with faded, scabbing wounds, that is something he deems fit for him and him only. he doesn't care what other people do with their lives as long as they leave him the hell out of it, but for the love of all the money that he has acquired over the years slaughtering sorcerers, he will be damned if he finds a single, tiny little scratch on your body.

scars are for toji, not for you, his darling little girlfriend and the day he finds out someone has hurt you enough to leave behind a mark is the day he's putting several bullets into the culprit's head.

toji's worst fear, though he hardly discusses it, is losing you and watching you get hurt. god, he practically lives to protect you, and to feel as though he has failed to do so would wound him detrimentally. he's a tough guy, but you make him so soft, and admittedly he wouldn't want to be soft for anyone but you. you're his rock, his little hot head, and he loves you more than life itself.

if you're hurt, he will lose it.

therefore, when he finds out that you're self-harming? oh, he's on the verge of losing his fucking mind.

he does a double-take when you step out of his room and into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around your body, his eyes widening and his brows arching immediately.

now, toji knows your body inside and out. he's explored every inch, he knows every crook, every crevice, every mark, every texture, and he has never once in the six months you have been together seen the red lines over your inner wrist.

he watches you with twisted lips as you grab an orange from the counter before walking back into his direction. you're almost back into the room when toji calls you.

"uh uh," he stops you, and you pause, turning over your shoulder and purposefully moving your left wrist to press into your towel.

"what?"

"come here," he orders and you give him a strange look.

"why?"

"i wanna see somethin'. come here."

you're quick to snap back easily with your own sarcastic retort, clearly in a foul mood over something. "if you want to fuck, can you wait until i'm fully dried off and after i finish this?' you hold up the orange in your other hand, a perturbed look on your face.

"i don't want to fuck, (y/n), i want you to come here."

toji's voice comes out sternly, and on the verge of anger. you survey his posture, his arms leaning over his legs as he cranes to look at you with a suspicious, firm expression. you can tell that he's serious, and a sudden sense of fear overtakes you that you mask with annoyance.

you don't say a word when you slowly walk up to him, crossing your arms over your chest to conceal your wrist, the hand holding the orange tucked under your elbow.

"what is it?"

toji holds out his palm. "give it."

"...my orange?"

"put it in my hand."

you huff, carefully maneuvering your arm around to keep your inner wrist pointed toward your body as you bring forward the orange and plop it aggressively into his hand. toji watches your other arm the entire time, taking clear note of how you refuse to let your wrist show, and you know you're fucked.

the green-eyed man tosses the orange to the side of the couch and holds out his large palm again, eying you intensely. you look down at him with a frustrated frown, shrugging. "i don't have anymore oranges."

"don't be cute, doll."

"what? do you want my hand?"

"you know i want your hand."

you roll your eyes, raising the hand you had held your orange with when he stops you. "not that one. the other one."

your heart pangs, shaking your entire body as he looks to you expectantly. how the fuck had he managed to notice the scar on your wrist so quickly?

the moment you hesitate, he knows that what he saw earlier is something to be concerned about. you normally never hide yourself from toji, and the way you go about hiding your arm now is defensive enough to raise several brows. he knows you're not dumb, too. he knows that you know exactly what he wants to see.

"(y/n)." he cocks a brow, the severity of his demeanor only making you more uneasy.

he can't see. he can't see what you've just done. he'll hate you. he'll look at you like you're crazy.

"what if i don't want to give you my hand?"

"then i'll just grab it for you, and i don't think either of us wants to go there."

you release a trembling, aggravated breath. you can't get away with anything when toji's around, and while you ponder having chosen to get an orange later, you know deep down somewhere you wanted toji to see. you wanted him to help you, which is why you walked out of that bathroom half an hour after having put those scars on your arm.

"hand, now."

you turn your eyes away with a grunt, slapping your wrist into his hand facing downward. toji is quick to whip it upside once he has a grip on you, and his eyes seem to freeze over the sight of three fresh slices on your upper forearm up close.

his jaw clenches, then unclenches, then clenches and unclenches again as his lips twitch and his eyes adjust to the vision. you're hurt. not only are you hurt, but it looks as though you've recently been hurt. you've hurt yourself.

toji has a hard time figuring out what to do. he's not good with things like this, but he knows that seeing you with scars on your arm is quite literally about to set him off. he always imagined having to defend you from others who seek to hurt you, but never having to defend you from yourself.

he can't fathom it. he's struggling, the muscles in his eyes are twitching, and he can't handle it. he can feel his heart begin to race, unsure if he is angry or scared or mortified or devastated.

there are three lines in your arm. bright red. staring right back up at him.

and you put them there?

no way, you put them there.

but you did. clearly you did, or else you wouldn't be looking so guilty right now.

but when did you? how did you? why did you?

he doesn't know what to think. he doesn't know what to say. he swore he'd always protect you, but how does he even begin to try to protect you from yourself?

"are you out of your mind?"

the question leaves him rather calmly, a low inquiry that you are unsure is meant to be directed as an insult or a genuine ask.

you can't look at him. you don't even know what to think yourself. it had all happened so fast while you were in the bathroom, before you got into the shower.

one minute, you were staring angrily in the mirror, cursing your reflection as your wicked thoughts sprouted grubby arms and guided you toward the pair of brow scissors that you kept in your makeup cabinet on the left side of toji's bathroom.

you wanted to feel in control of the disdain you felt lurking within your soul. you wanted to feel something for fear that you would never be able to feel again, and before you knew it, you were dragging the exposed blade over your skin.

"d'you wanna explain why i'm looking at these cuts on your arm, (y/n)?"

and you know, you know that it's a bad sign when toji uses your name instead of the plethora of pet names he normally elects to call you: doll, princess, mama, girl, pretty baby- anything but your actual government name, and when you hear it roll from his tongue under these circumstances, you can only imagine what's going through his head.

you shift on your bare feet, looking down at your toes. "dunno," is all you say, and toji scoffs in disbelief.

"you don't know?" he emphasizes. "that's all you have to say?"

"if you wanna embarrass me, go ahead, toji. seriously, i'm tired."

"what the fuck makes you think i wanna embarrass you? i wanna know why the fuck my girlfriend walked out of the bathroom with cuts on her arm!"

you rip your arm away immediately when he yells, storming back off into his room and slamming the door behind you.

toji jumps up, suddenly frazzled. he doesn't want you alone in there. he doesn't want you out of his sight.

the navy haired man moves quickly to his door and grabs the handle, only to find it locked. he jiggles it harshly and bangs on the door. beginning to panic. "open the door, (y/n)," he shouts, meeting no reply.

little does he know, your back is pressed against the other side as tears crash over your cheeks. you don't know how you expected toji to react, but the look on his face just now and his tone of voice was enough to send you running off.

you feel ashamed, weak. you shouldn't have gone out there at all. you should have waited until you were dressed, discarding the whole idea of letting toji see what you did so that you could suffer in silence without his help, because what help could he truly provide anyway?

toji's a tough man, but he's soft for you. he would stand in front of a moving train for you. he would sacrifice his life for you, so when you don't answer, he imagines the worst.

"open the door," he says again, weaker, tugging desperately at the handle though he knows it won't budge. he knows he could break the door down, and he's prepared to until he hears you sniff amdist his pounding. he immediately stops, face dropping.

fuck.

this is bad.

he knew it was before, but for some reason, it's only now registering how bad this is.

you're in pain. you hurt yourself because you're in pain and you need him, but he doesn't know how to help you. he's never dealt with anything like this before.

his hand slides from the door and to his side, forehead knocking against the door though his other hand remains tight on the handle. he just needs to see you.

"princess," he mutters defeatedly. "don't make me kick this door in."

silence.

"please," he softens even more. "please, (y/n), let me in."

the house falls quiet once more and you give in. you feel so lost, and the only person who can at least comfort you, in his own way, is toji.

you slowly turn to unlock the door and step back as toji opens it swiftly, staring down at you with wide eyes and at least relieved to see that you haven’t done any further harm to your body.

he does, however, see your tears.

his face tightens as he bends down to scoop you up in an instant, your legs and arms tightening around him as you snivel into his shoulder, his large palms sliding over your body. he feels your small body tremble against him as he walks the two of you over to the edge of his bed, sitting down as you cling to him like a koala.

"i dunno what happened," you whimper into him. "i dunno why i did it. i dunno. i dunno."

you say it over and over, your voice as broken as toji feels listening to you.

he wishes he knew what to do. he wishes he was better equipped to handle this, but never in his worst nightmares did he dream that he would find you here, his fiery girl, the love of his life.

he's been so busy trying to protect you from the outside world that he hasn't even thought about the things that could harm you from within.

he stays silent as you babble to him through tears, holding you just like he knew how. he doesn't want to picture those scars on you. he doesn't want to picture what led you to put them there. he just wants to hold you, to at least let you know that he's here and he's not going anywhere. he may not know how to help, but he knows how to love you and he hopes that's enough.

"i'm not letting you out of my sight, y'hear?" he says gruffly into your ear and you nod meekly. "i'm not letting this happen ever again. not as long as i'm alive."

he mentally swears to rid your house and his of any and every sharp object he can find and to throw it all in a safe as you sink into him.

toji knows how to protect and toji knows how to fight. though he's more acclimated with fighting others, if he has to fight to protect yourself from your innermost demons, then hell, he will find a way to do just that.

sukuna ryomen: lord help you and lord help anyone within a fifty-mile radius when the king of curses discovers that you've been harming yourself.

sukuna is not at all very good with his words or his expressions of affirmations. he is a being of action, and he believes that he has proven his love for you enough by simply allowing you to be in his presence longer than anyone else ever has or ever will.

at first, when he sees a scar or two on your leg, he thinks its just an accident or a result of you being clumsy. then, three more pop up, then five, then far more than he's even willing to count, and he decides that this scar pattern is somehow intentional.

he knows no one else has marked them onto you because he is prepared to kill anyone who comes too close, especially if they have ill intentions. if you were in danger at someone else's hand, he would be the first to know and the person meaning you harm would be dead before they could even think about touching you.

therefore, when he sees that the only person normally within your company is him, uraume, and yourself, the process of elimination leads him to you.

he goes about confronting you rather harshly, as well, for he knows no other way to be.

you're out in the garden of his large residence one day, soaking up the sun, when you hear familiar, loud stomps heading your way from behind.

you turn around and squint to peer up at sukuna, who is standing over you with a menacing glare in his crimson eyes. you don't necessarily find this out of the ordinary, so you greet him as usual.

"hi, kuna," you say sweetly. "you good?"

he is not good. not at all, so he gets straight to the point. "come inside, woman."

you quirk a brow. "why? i just got out here?"

"do not question me."

"can it wait, like, fifteen minutes?"

"do you wish to live in the next fifteen minutes?"

you sigh, entirely too used to sukuna's facade of cruelty around you. you know by now that the king of curses would never dare to hurt you.

"i do intend, to live, yes," you smirk.

"then you will come inside as i have demanded."

"no, sukuna. i want to stay out here for a bit. i've been inside all day."

the pink haired man fumes, teeth grinding together in agitation. he doesn't want to delay this conversation any further than it has already been delayed, but of course, you choose to be difficult.

"very well, we will do this out here," he growls and you smile.

"good."

you don't prepare yourself for when sukuna grabs the back of your chair and whips out around to face him with the unpleasant screech of the legs against the cobblestone. you wince, then retract your face when sukuna lowers his to stare at you from mere centimeters away, one of his arms grasping to push up the lose leg of your shorts up to reveal the set of scars littering your skin.

your eyes go wide, his movements too quick for you to process all at once.

"are these your doing?" he hisses and you gulp.

"s-sukuna-"

"i did not ask for you to say my name. i asked if these scars are your doing."

his eyes are piercing, striking directly into yours. "what are you talking about?" you whisper shakily.

"are we going to pretend like you're an idiot now?" he snarls. he's so mean, but he feels it's for good reason. your body has been tainted, and for some reason, you have been doing the tainting. he needs to know why.

you shake your head weakly. "no..."

"then answer me properly. i will not repeat myself a third time."

you bite down on your lower lip, heart ringing in your ears. you didn't even know sukuna paid attention to you enough to catch wind of something like this.

"yes... i did this," you finally tell him, and sukuna is livid.

"and why would you be doing something so foolish? scars are not something you are meant to give yourself, human."

"please don't be a dick, sukuna, not right now."

"i am asking a perfectly reasonable question and i expect you to answer it," he glowers. "now."

"you wouldn't understand if i told you," you frown and he clicks his tongue.

"stop assuming things of me before i lock you inside of my room where you can not escape or even fathom doing something like this to yourself again under my supervision."

you curl your brows, frowning up at your boyfriend. "if i tell you, you'll call me foolish."

"because this is foolish," he grunts. "but i will not if my doing so will get you to fucking explain yourself."

you shake your head, looking down and contemplating before deciding to just get it over with so that he can stop putting you on the spot. "sometimes i just feel shitty," is all you elect to say.

but sukuna is hardly satisfied with this response. "so you choose to inflict pain upon yourself instead of calling upon me?"

"i told you, you wouldn't understand," you say. "it's not something i can easily explain to you either."

sukuna narrows his eyes. "fine."

he lowers himself to grab you legs and throw you over his shoulder. you squeal, grabbing onto his back as he begins to walk you back into his home and toward his room. "sukuna!" you kick your legs around. "put me down!"

"no. you're coming with me, and you're going to sit and talk me through every single thought that has crossed your little mind to make you think that injuring yourself in such a way is tolerable within the walls of my residence. then after that, you'll come with me everywhere i go from this point on."

"what?!" you exclaim from where you hang upside down. "I don't wanna go everywhere you go," you wine.

"too bad. you should have thought of that before you decided to harm yourself."

sukuna is horrible with words, and far more horrible with expressing his concerns, but despite your temporary discomfort with how he goes about approaching the situation, you can still see in the pinch of his brow and the stiffness of his posture, combined with his refusal to let you go without a proper explanation, that he cares very deeply for your wellbeing.

[tyrantisterror]

For whatever reason, I found myself thinking about the theme of heritage/inheritance in Harry Potter and how it's, like, catastrophically broken in the text.

The villains in Harry Potter are almost unanimously racist and classist - they believe they are entitled to behave however they wish and live at the top of the social hierarchy because they were born to rich, pureblooded families, and anyone who wasn't is filth to be exploited and/or purged. That's the philosophy of evil in the book - "I deserve everything because I was born in the right family with the right genes and the right social standing. My heritage makes me better than you."

All the injustice and evil in the books is rooted in this belief in entitlement by way of heritage. People are abused and die because of it. Inherited wealth and status, and more specifically the unfair priveleges it affords, is the root of evil in Harry Potter.

So you'd think the protagonist would present some sort of strong contrast to it, right? That they'd be born poor, or mixed race, etc. But no, Harry is from a rich pureblood family, with the vast wealth and social status that affords.

Well, that's OK, we can still make a contrast. Maybe Harry differs in how he acts with wealth - perhaps, realizing his inheritance is an unfair privilege, he gives it away? Maybe he works to give the underprivileged their due? Again, no, not really. He sometimes buys stuff for his poor friend Ron, and defends his "mudblood" friend Hermione from racist criticism, but he sees no reason to change the system that dehumanizes them in the first place, and by the end of the tale is pleased to exploit his privilege for his own gain.

The whole house elf subplot illustrates this failing well - we have a race of slaves who are frequently shown to suffer from abuse. One of them, the property of a rich racist, risks his life to save Harry, and Harry frees him in return. Oh, nice, finally fighting the system, eh? Except no, not really - while Harry frees that specific slave, he's content to leave the others in bondage, especially when he inherits a slave of his own.

The contrast Harry Potter puts up against its rich, racist, privileged villains is "Hey, being rich and higher in the hierarchy is awesome and just, but you can't be a dick about it." That slaves belong in the dirt, but masters should be polite while putting them in their place.

Voldemort posits himself as the heir of Slytherin - claiming his inheritance is vital to his rise to power and villainy. And Harry opposes him by... also claiming inheritance from a rich old dead guy. Hell, the final battle comes down to who rightfully inherits a specific rare Wand!

The fact that Harry and Voldemort have shit in common is not a flaw on its own - villains and heroes are often foils for each other. But in this specific tale, the relationship the villain has with inherited power is so central to the conflict that the hero having the exact same relationship is a major failing. The story is just shy of saying "Voldemort was basically right, but he shouldn't have been rude about it." It's bad from both a moral and a writing skill perspective.

(The only inheritance Harry fully rejects is parseltongue, i.e. the ability to talk to snakes, which was accidentally given to him by Voldemort, and could be argued to be a symbol of trauma rather than inherited wealth. Also I'm still salty about how that series turned on snakes so cruelly, but that's a whole other rant.)

[totalswag]

Love your writing! So good!! Could you do one where the reader and Rafe have not been dating for long, only for about two weeks or so, and she is very insecure and doesn´t understand why he ever approached her to ask her out in the first place. She isn´t the most outgoing and thinks she is quite plain looking, comparing herself to all the much prettier girls (in her opinion) at parties that she evidently thinks he will leave her for and so she she starts to distance herself to make it hurt less

unworthy doubts — RAFE CAMERON

authors note first off, thank you so much. you don’t know how much that means to me. to all of you reading this right now; please know how important you're in this world. youre beautiful on the inside and outside in your own unique way 🤍.

summary questioning and comparing yourself to other girls while wondering why your boyfriend, rafe cameron, chose you.

warnings insecure, comparing, mentions of parties, crying, doubt.

Rafe Cameron and you started dating for almost a month; it’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a relationship. Although it’s in the early stages of your relationship, you haven’t felt this way.

However, your insecurities felt like they'd been with you forever.

Rafe's confidence and charisma seemed to effortlessly command whatever room he entered. You felt invisible; blending into the background. Comparing yourself to other girls at parties; pretty smile, makeup, etc.

What could rafe see in you?

The worries had recently gotten stronger, a constant voice in the back of your head. When you saw Rafe taking to someone or laughing too hard at someone’s joke, the voice whispers became louder.

You stood against the railing of Tannyhill watching at the sunset in your own thoughts. The breeze felt nice and it felt like good time to enjoy the moment.

"Hey," Rafe's voice interrupted your thoughts, making you jump slightly. He joined you at the railing with a troubled expression on his face. "You have been quiet recently. Is everything alright?

Rafe noticed your change in attitude in the previous three days. He had asked if everything was fine, but you refused to talk about it. Tonight, he wants answers. He's concerned about you.

You forced a smile, but it did not reach your eyes. "Yeah, I am fine." Just... exhausted, I suppose."

Rafe did not appear convinced. He stretched out and carefully tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "You know you can speak with me, right? If something is bothering you, please let me know.”

Your heart sunk as you heard those words. Deep down, you want to open up to him and express your feelings. You don't want to come across as undesirable and make him think differently of you.

You felt words spilling out, but you remained silent.

"Y/N, I feel like you're pulling away from me." "Is it something I said or did?" He creaked "Please let me know, baby."

"It's not you, Rafe," you eventually confessed, the words rushing out before you could stop them. "It's me." I just don't understand why you chose me. I am not like the other gals. I'm not as attractive, outgoing, or—"

Rafe cut you off, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Is that what you think? That I don't realize how magnificent you are?"

Rafe's thoughts were all over the place. Seeing tears gather in the corner of your eyes caused him to cry.

You shrugged your shoulders, feeling tears form in your eyes, and down your cheeks. Not bothering drying them off.

"It's difficult for me to not to think about that when I'm constantly comparing myself to these girls" you ramble on when Rafe cuts you off.

Rafe approached, holding your face in his hands. "Look at me," he murmured quietly, waiting for you to meet his eyes. "I asked you out because I like who you are. You are nice and intelligent, and you make me laugh like no one else can. You are attractive to me both inside and out. And if you can't see it yet, I'll spend as much time as necessary to show you."

His words struck you like a tsunami, removing any doubts and anxieties that had been building up. You took a nervous breath as tears finally poured over.

You bury your face against his chest, letting out your sobs and putting your arms around his body; Rafe gently strokes your back, rocking you both side to side and whispers nice words into your ear to calm you down. 

"I can't afford to lose you," you whine against his chest.

"Baby, you will not lose me; I will be with you every step of the way," Rafe says before kissing the top of your head several times.

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[blitzwhore]

So. Stolas is an alcoholic. That much is very clear at this point in the show and has been for a while now. He binge-drinks to cope with depression and with his life problems at large.

What's interesting is that he's far from the only character in Blitzø's life who is an alcoholic. In fact, substance abuse seems to be a recurring theme in the show. At least three other people Blitzø was or is really close with (potentially four, if we count his father) were, or are, alcoholics/drug addicts: Verosika, Barbie, and Fizz.

And the show has made a very clear point that both Verosika and Barbie have been in rehab. Not just that, but it's also emphasised that they're both still struggling with addiction (Verosika still drinks at her concerts, "clutches onto Beelzejuice bottles like they're the last cock in hell", and writes magazine articles about binge drinking being sexy; Barbie still peddles heroine, though not H8). Clearly, for both of them, this is an ongoing issue presently in the show.

So, with all of that being said, I recently saw someone theorise that, in a future season, Stolas is going to go to rehab, too.

I thought it was certainly a possibility, and one that I would personally love to see explored. So I've been thinking about it... and I remembered this:

The beginning of Unhappy Campers, and Blitzø breaking into rehab to go visit Barbie.

Now, I think a lot of people (myself included) felt surprised and a bit disappointed the first time we watched this episode, because our initial assumption was that Blitzø was trying to visit Stolas. It just made sense! Stolas was hospitalised right at the end of the previous episode and texted Blitzø that he could visit if he wanted to. (At this point, we also didn't know Blitzø had trauma surrounding visiting loved ones at hospitals). And suddenly they hit us with Blitzø seeking out Barbie out of the blue? So many of us were left wondering... why? Yeah, people have mentioned that maybe feeling like he could've lost Stolas prompted Blitzø to try to mend a different broken relationship, one that he felt he had more chances of fixing. But the timing, as well as the non-immediate revelation that it's Barbie he's looking for, is still... strikingly suspicious, isn't it?

And just now, after all this time, it hit me.

What if this is foreshadowing?

What if, all along, they were telling us Blitzø will visit Stolas at the hospital in the future... when Stolas is in rehab?

[peachesofteal]

This will be the last chapter of Dead Disco.

There will be an epilogue, but that's it.

If you want to read me getting emotional it's below the cut.

I know I've said this a lot but it's really been so wonderful to write this story and share it with you. I know a lot of us feel very connected to Darling and have seen pieces of ourselves in her character. I have been very protective, and frankly, defensive of this character because she means so much to me and some of you.

Darling very obviously struggles with her mental health. She struggles with emotional regulation, depression, mood swings, anxiety, eating. She has an unhealthy relationship with herself and her partners (this is why dead disco has always been tagged as 'could be considered toxic'). She is codependent. She is self destructive.

She wants to be loved. Fully.

There is nothing wrong with relating or seeing pieces of yourself in Darling. You are not broken or sick or disordered. You are a complex human being, and as long as you are safe, I believe, personally, it is healthy that you know and recognize these pieces of yourself. It's okay to feel. You are not weak because you feel strongly or feel like your emotions are overwhelming sometimes. You are not weak because you may require more care, or security, or reassurance. You are not weak because you spiral and get lost sometimes. You are not weak because your highs are really high and your lows are really low.

These are the complexities of being a human being. I do not shame you for them, as I don't shame myself. It may feel like your loved ones do not understand you, or recognize you, and as much as hurts, that may be true. But there are people out there for you. I promise they exist, even if they feel so far out of reach.

Mental health resources can actually be very helpful, and I urge you to seek them out if you feel like it's too much. There is help out there, even if sometimes it feels too far away.

I love Darling, and I love you.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Changed Future (3) : Yandere Isekai

Part 2

The parents of the protagonist were shunned by their child because of their violence and nonchalance about the practices of the higher echelon of society

Apparently, their love story wasn’t that different than the one that started with Haruko

Except that a small punishment went much further than not eating a day or two

They were much bloodier 

Much more similar to the rivals who suffered before their untimely deaths

The parents were now seemingly more in love than anything

But the cracks were there

And the protagonist was front and center for all of it

But ultimately they ran away, declining their inheritance and their parent’s wealth to succeed

Unfortunately, though it seems they’ve come to reenter their—now your life 

As though Haruko, Det.Cape, and CEO Revmere weren’t enough

“Dearest baby-child of mine~ who is this?”

“I’m Haruko–” “Shhh no stop it!” “-their lover.”

“Finally we get to meet you, they were always so elusive when they swooped in and swept you away.”

“Crazy thing about that little darling (Y/n) we too have let our new addition have some new freedoms as well. Say hi Beattle!”

“Uh hello n-nice to finally meet you.”

If there’s anything that you match with the original protagonist it’s their disgust and annoyance with their family

Their parents love story was a lot more violent when it came to ‘breaking’ the other in 

You couldn’t recall which one did what but even with meeting them now

You can tell they’re just….off

“Honey, you have something on your face! Let me lick it off!”

“Oh really then you should have something so that I lick it off too!”

“You vixen, you remind me of that one time when your covered in blood and you licked me then too.”

“Awww remember when I shot you and I licked the bullet hole.”

“Oh my gosh! Stop it!”

“Yes, please tone it down.”

If the newly arrived parents isn’t worse enough there's the new additions

“I have a lot to learn before I can truly be a part of your family but I hope we get along.”

“Right….did they kidnap you?”

“Wow! Really straightforward! They did say you were incredibly bright!”

“So they did…if you want I can call the police.”

“No! No! I’m here willingly…now.”

“Right.”

“And I hope you’ll accept your new brothers!” 

“What?!”

Could this insane author squeeze any more yanderified tropes in this story!?!!?

“Poor (Y/n) you look exhausted. Did Haruko give you a hard time leaving?”

“Not this time…it’s my…family.”

“Oh my.”

“They’ve brought their insane relationship at the worst time. I’m trying to fix myself and be better and then they just–”

“Shhh, you're safe here (Y/n)...I know you said as your ex-employer we really shouldn’t have any other relationship but I think we’re bound to be much closer.”

“What?”

“The point is you can stay here to avoid your family for as long as you like.”

“Thanks? Revmere.”

“Please call me, Filip.”

“Okay…Filip.”

The mess of it all leaves you exhausted 

And easy to manipulate

Usually with isekais the whole power of it is that you can see outside the story

Minimize characters' feelings and break it down as nothing but plot

But you're stressed 

Every which way you’ll find that a yandere is there trying to capitalize

And eventually, it’s just a matter of who can tone it down first

Naturally, that’s Revmere er Filip 

Who has the space and security to invite you someplace without the others following

And between his time as a negotiator and as someone who worked closely with the protagonist he’s perfect at talking everyone down

You just need someone to rant to and he’s perfect for it

Bashing down everyone who you call out even if he agrees

“Can you believe it?! When I finally get my parents to settle like a bunch of babies, Haruko demands we do something intimate!”

“Unbelievable, he’s such a pervert.”

“Right?! What weirdo sees that oddball freaking couple and thinks ‘maybe this is the night you let me take it farther than kissing!’ Ugh!!!”

“Like can he keep his hands to himself.”

If he were in his position–roommate? Ex-boyfriend? Tenant? (You literally won’t tell him)--he’d want to get to go far past that

But that’s just him

For now, he’ll settle to wine and dine you while you become a frequent visitor at his

It’s so easy  for Filip to offer your fifth glass of decade-aged wine and catch your falling body against his

He’s just fighting with himself about putting you in the satin pajamas he has your initials on (of course changed to include his own)

But he reminds himself to take it slow, after all, he does have the best chance at getting your heart

“You know I’d love to offer some insight on (Y/n)’s situation, maybe with my guidance you can help reunite the family.”

“I-I’d love to hear it! This Haruko is okay but I think my…partners are worried about if he can properly take care of them. Like they took care of me.”

“Well, I hope we can both provide some… much-needed insight.”

[cemetery-slvt]

it makes me upset when i see people talking about how narcissists are bad people and you should avoid them at all costs because theyre going to hurt you or use you or whatever it is. not all narcissists are bad people. the disorder does not automatically make you a bad person or abusive. as a matter of fact, all of the people with npd that i’ve met have been some of the kindest, most supportive people ever.

there is a a lot of misinformation online. for example, the “black eyes” of a narcissist trend on tiktok. i’ve seen lots of posts on reddit or tiktok or what be it about how all narcissists play the victim, manipulate, or gaslight to get their way, how you have to walk on eggshells and we’re abusive, etc etc. the list goes on and on and on.

“narcissistic abuse” isn’t narcissistic abuse — it’s physical abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, etc. i’m not saying this to downplay abuse by any means, because nobody should ever have to go through that, however there are better ways to phrase it. by saying “narcissistic abuse”, you are further stigmatizing and demonizing the disorder. you could instead say, “i was physically abused” or “i was ___” by my [insert relationship dynamic here].

for everyone that has experienced abuse by the hands of someone with this disorder, or even at all, i sincerely apologize and wish you nothing but the best. you never deserved that and i hope that you are able to heal. i’m sending you so much love.

narcs are human too. many of us are really good people. i myself have been diagnosed with npd and yes, for a very long time i was a bitch. i did play the victim, my loved ones did have to walk on eggshells around me, however after a lot of work and a lot of conscious effort, i changed that. it’s very discouraging and upsetting to see misinformation and to see the demonizing of disorders. cluster b people are human too. we deserve the same kindness and respect that everyone else does. being diagnosed with cluster b disorders don’t automatically make us a bad person.

[biolumien]

Might I say that the Hoshina x Painter! reader was a brush stroke of genius. It's superb so if its possible, I'd like to request a part two?

Maybe Hoshina gets to go out on a date. And of course, the recruits quickly finding out about this and they sort of try to spy on them while they go about their day. Up to you really. I just live for the concept, and I defo want to see how things play out. Especially since their worlds are so far apart from each other.

He probably doesn't know the first thing about art. And Reader probably knows nothing of Kaijus. Let alone swordsmanship or martial arts. And the sudden match made between them is sure to make rapid news around Tachikawa base because, 'Ayo that's our Vice Captain with the famous painter who just so happened to paint his portrait a few days ago?' AKAKHSKNS such an endearing concept.

notes: insanely good pun. i hope this is okay! part 2 of this fic.

the second stroke

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader no warnings apply, i think! let me know, though. word count: 1306

talking to hoshina was–awkward. or so you thought, at least. you couldn’t exchange many words following the panel, apart from saying hi–hoshina had immediately gotten swarmed with questions–what was the relationship between the two of you? what was the meaning behind what you’d said? so you’d managed to find him in the aftermath, pulled him aside and made tentative plans to meet up in the coming days.

you stopped having dreams of your mysterious muse altogether at this point. once in awhile, you thought you might have felt the faint whisper of warmth, the ghosting touch of lips brushed against the side of your face. that had to have been real, right? but the fact that you couldn’t remember your dreams now–if you even had them at all, worried you more th an you’d like to admit.

you’d agreed on a date in a discrete location–but despite that, you held a pretty large parasol in the park, with loose-fitting clothes to disguise the bulk of your figure.

“so it’s true, then?” hoshina asks as the two of you wander the park, past some shady trees. “that’s… i mean, it’s… pretty… ha, i mean, that kind of stuff comes out of a romance novel, no?” 

you like the way the sunlight dapples across his hair, dances across the bridge of his nose. your fingers itch to paint, to scrape a palette knife across a stretch of canvas. 

“it sounds far fetched to me, too,” you mumble, spinning the straw of your drink. “that i would dream of a man from a past life–who… happens to be you. happened. to be you. also in a past life. and i think… well, i–i think we were lovers? or-or something like that.”

“lovers,” hoshina echoes. 

he pauses.

your face feels hot.

“it’s stupid,” you mumble. “i know. i know it is.”

“it’s not,” hoshina says. “i mean–i’m not… a believer. in most of that kind of stuff, but. you painted me.” he laughs. “that’s gotta be proof of something bigger than the both of us. i don’t know if i should be happy or sad that it’s real. like–”

he flexes his hands.

“do you get what i mean? like–like… i’ve been telling myself that-that… i was doing everything within my power–to be the way i was, and then… if there really is some kind of divine providence, pulling us together–some red string of fate, the kind that bonds lovers together–how am i so sure that a god didn’t just decide the limits of my capabilities? i’m not sure… how to feel about it.”

you ponder his words.

“fighting kaiju is… a completely new world, compared to me,” you say. “but i’m sure even if it–even if it was divine providence, you’re doing something only you can do. and–and i think that’s wonderful.”

hoshina’s eyes soften.

“wonderful?” he murmurs. 

“yeah,” you say. “someone–not just someone, but… we’re all… relying on you. that’s something i could never imagine.”

“i mean–” hoshina laughs, brushing a hand across the back of his neck. “i couldn’t imagine painting the way you do. that seems so overwhelming–to conjure things from your imagination and deliver them to the page.”

you shake your head.

“it’s a bit of that, but it’s not completely from my imagination. i do a lot of portraits–with real models, things like that,” you mumble, your face flushing a little bit at his words. “it’s… mm. a complicated progress, but it’s not nearly as physically intensive as you fighting kaiju. i-i read a bit. from some of your press interviews.”

“oh?” hoshina’s eyes widen, and he laughs. “that’s–well, i didn’t… most of those were just–scripted.”

“my press interviews are, too,” you say.

hoshina’s lips quirk up.

“i guess we’re kind of the same, yeah?” hoshina says, nudging you slightly, his hand reaching out to cross the gap between the two of you–of you. he doesn’t intrude further though, even as he crosses the gap—seemingly shy and nervous, worried and careful not to do more until you were okay with it. 

you relax your stance a little, and his hand brushes against yours. 

“i guess so,” you say, blinking up at him. your face feels hot.

you don’t know whether the fluttering in your heart is from you or if it’s from that whisper of a past life, the repeated lines of affection–that it should feel this easy to fall for hoshina, because some version of you did, a stranger-yet-familiar-yet-familiar. hoshina’s expression is somehow fond, and he leans closer before–

he suddenly perks up, his head whirling around, checking the surroundings.

“what’s–” you start, but hoshina raises a hand, glancing at you before raising a finger to his lips. you fall silent, your heart pounding against your throat.

“come out,” hoshina says sharply. “you guys aren’t subtle at all. you’re lucky that kaiju are so stupid.” 

from behind one of the trees, several people come skulking out with lowered heads, as if they were scolded toddlers.

“i told you this was a bad idea,” says a boy with mint green hair, elbowing a taller, older man. the man hangs his head, recoiling dramatically at the boy’s touch. “you can’t get past hoshina at all.”

“in my defense,” the man says apologetically, remorsefully, “i was just curious where he was going… it’s not often he takes days off. you know this.”

“i warned you,” says a woman with her hair drawn up in a tall ponytail. her voice is quiet, but she’s striking–and you wonder what kind of charcoal you might use to sketch out the sharp lines of her face–and then you realize you’ve seen her face scattered across billboards. mina ashiro?

“i love this bit you guys do,” hoshina laughs, archly, “where you talk like i’m not even here. come on. if you want to–hey, put that–put that down. don’t–”

mina lowers her phone as hoshina blurts it out, her face bemused. 

“sorry,” mina says. “force of habit. i keep an album of every moment where you let your goody facade drop. do you want to see?” she looks at you, holding out her phone. “i have some where he’s asle–” “not on the first date,” hoshina says, his voice pitching higher. 

“first date?” the man’s eyes widen. “captain hoshina, you’re on a date? with that artist? the one who drew you?”

your eyes scan between him and hoshina.

“yes,” hoshina says tersely. “is it that weird?”

“no,” the man says. “just–you don’t seem like the romantic… type?”

“i’m not,” hoshina says.

you feel something like cold ice seize your throat.

“but i… i want to try,” hoshina amends, and his hand reaches out for yours, a grasping thread of intent. you entangle your fingers in his, and the weight of his hands feels right. like a preordained fate–you were always meant to find each other, and the weight and feel of his fingers entangling yours, his knuckles tightening as if he was afraid to see you disappear–

that was right.

“if we’re really bonded by fate, anyway,” hoshina says, glancing at you–and your heart seizes in your throat, caught by how earnest he seems– “i want to see it to the end.”

your face heats up.

“it was–it was just a painting,” you mumble. 

“a really good painting,” hoshina adds, and he laughs.

“you guys are cute,” mina says. “but you’re grossing me out. just a little.”

her face is impassive, but the corners of her lips quirk up a little as she says the words.

“oh, how it hurts,” hoshina says dramatically, pulling you closer to him, “to have stirred the ice-cold heart of mina ashiro so.”

and your face flushes again, brighter, but you cling tightly to hoshina like a lifeline, and wonder what shade of red you might use to carve out the feeling of love in your chest.

[lexisecretaccx]

Can’t sleep? - C.S

Masterlist!

(Femreader x Chrissturniolo, sub!chris, dom!reader, smut, oral male!receiving, fluff, not proofread!, you know the rules)

Summary: Chris is struggling to sleep due to stress and y/n knows a way to help him..

I feel so bad for Chris, he’s been having sleepless nights, worrying about making content for him and his brothers youtube channel.

Me and Chris have been dating for about 2 years and he loves to post about me and the fans love me, most of them. Our relationship has been so great but up until recently he hasn’t been able to sleep properly, and because he doesn’t want to ruin my sleep he’s been sleeping on the couch.

No matter how much I tell him to sleep in my room he refuses to disrupt my sleep. But finally I’ve convinced him to try and sleep with me just for tonight to see if it will help.

We’ve been lying in bed for about an hour and I’ve felt myself wanting to sleep but I just want him to sleep first, he seems wide awake staring at the ceiling. “You okay baby?” I whisper as I snuggle up to him, he sighs deeply and shakes his head. “It’s okay my love.” I stroke his head softly.

My dim lamp across the room illuminates his eyes, which have tears in them. “Don’t cry, I wish I could help you.” I kiss his cheek, “I know.” He croaks. “I could help you..” I lean on my elbow and look at him, his eyes travel to my face.

“How?” He asks me softly, my eyes flick down to his pyjama pants and back up to his face, when he realises what I mean his face lights up. “You’re gonna give me a blowjob?” He leans to me whispering as if we’re sneaking around and doing things we shouldn’t. I smirk.

“I don’t think it’ll help me sleep but I’ll take it.” He chuckles softly, he goes to stand up and I push him back onto the bed. “Stay there.” I sit up, his eyes widen before he smiles widely, this isn’t what I’m usually like, he’s mainly the dominant one but I thought I’d switch the roles.

I slide his pants down off of his ankles and on the bed behind me. His boxers have a large imprint of his cock, I graze my hand across the bulge painfully slowly causing Chris to buck his hips upwards. “No.” I speak sternly, he swallows loudly, “please ma.. please.” He looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

I pull down his boxers gently, his dick springing up the tip leaking with precum. His expression of excitement is so fucking adorable. I wrap a hand around his member causing him to breathe in sharply, I pump my hand up and down watching his face shift as his inner eyebrows raise and his eyes squint.

Without warning him I place my tongue on his sensitive tip, a slight whimper leaving his mouth. “More.. please.” He begs, I smirk before taking his cock into my mouth fully and sucking it, his hand grips the sheets and the other hand is on the pillow next to him. I fasten my pace, the moans and heavy breathing that parts his lips only encourages me more.

His tip kisses the back of my throat repeatedly as my eyes water, “fuck.” He whines, he makes such pretty noises. “I’m gonna cum ma..” he breathes out heavily. I only continue to suck his dick not replying or taking notices of his words, his hand comes down to try and guide my head but I smack it away and remove my mouth from him instantly.

“I’m sorry baby please..” his head tilts as he looks at me, his expression turning to annoyance as I refuse to continue, “apologise for trying to take over.” I look at him and he swallows harshly, “I’m s-sorry mama.. I didn’t mean it.. please” he pouts lightly and I smile before returning his length into my mouth.

After a few minutes of him moaning and whining as I bob my head on his cock. He groans, “I’m boutta cum..” he bites his lip as I take his dick deep down my throat again. “Shit..” he whines before I feel the warm liquid spilling into my mouth, I slow my movements and swallow each bit of it before popping my mouth off of him.

“That was.. amazing..” he smiles, an expression of euphoria on his face. He yawns slightly as he pulls his pants back up, “you feeling tired yet?” I ask him gently, getting back into bed comfortably next to him, “hm..” he hums, his eyes drooping as he lowers himself to lean on my chest. “These are the comfiest pillows ma..” he whispers as he adjusts his head on my boobs.

“Go to sleep baby.” I stroke his head gently, he quickly lifts his head up causing me to look at him with confusion, “goodnight.” He smiles as he kisses me softly before putting his head back down. Not a minute passes before I can hear a slight snore coming from him, it’s comforting.

I feel so much happier knowing he’s sleeping in the same room as me for the first time in like a week and he’s actually sleeping.

“I knew that would work.” I whisper as I continue to play with his hair.

A/n: this was cute and fun to write I hope u guys like the fic! I’m gonna try to finish A+ student in the next 2-3 parts bc I have a very creative series I want to write and start! (It may have a tiny little eenie meenie bit of inspo from yandere sim.. without the crazy killing.. mostly…) love y’all

@blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @mattybslover @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @bueckerslover @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @certifiednatelover @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore @cammie4298 @sturnsjtop @sturnzblog @chr1sgirl4life @evie-sturns @milasturniolo @jaxyy219 @mattsturniolosbae @h3arts4harry @littlebookworm803 @realqueenofpepsi @elsxz1 @jnkvivi @nayveetbhh @sturnsmadl @mattspleasure @m0r94n @raysmayhem-72

[houseofborgia]

"You are too much like me. A man feels less… favour for his own image reflected." [Give him his sanction…His support…His powder, his army, his control. His love. He is made in your image.] "Do you think we don't know that? He is me. All the fire and the fury, the drive. The pitiless ambition. I look into his eyes, I see myself. Do you expect me to love that?" — Rodrigo Borgia, The Borgias (2011-2013) // "You aren’t my son, you’re myself. The love I have for you is awkward for both of us. But it is greater than any love known. Even if you can’t understand it.” — Agustín Gómez-Arcos, The Carnivorous Lamb (1975)

The relationship between Rodrigo and his children is complex, but his love for his eldest son, Cesare, is the most intense of all. Cesare is a representation of Rodrigo's own generational trauma and personal flaws. Rodrigo loves Cesare deeply, but at the same time, he feels frustrated with him because Cesare serves as a mirror reflecting Rodrigo's own self-worth issues and flaws. Cesare's presence reminds Rodrigo of his own shortcomings and self-loathing, which created a complex dynamic between them. His intense love for Cesare is intertwined with this frustration, stemming from the recognition of their shared imperfections. Despite these challenges, Rodrigo still holds Cesare in high regard and has chosen him as his successor because Cesare represents both the best and worst aspects of himself.

[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 9

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Boston Municipal Courthouse

Janice’s POV

“Mama, I’m ok,” Roman said as I sat there in disbelief as they took Tia out of the courtroom. “Son something ain’t right…..Why did they sentence her today? Why she got a short sentence, weren’t we all watching the same video because she needs to be up under the jail.”

“The Judge said it was because of the plea deal, her clean record and just wanting this over for everyone,” he said looking at Kara who seemed to be struggling with the verdict and I don’t blame her.

“Son something in the milk ain’t clean…..Regardless of the verdict he should have rescheduled a date for sentencing. That would have given him time to give a more suitable sentence for crime because that wasn’t it,” I said as Roman hugged me.

“Ma, can we just leave, I’m ready to get outta Boston,” he said as I sighed giving him a hug seeing Jey heading over.

“Aye, you ok auntie?” he asked as Roman moved and I gave him a hug. “Yes, baby I am, just can’t believe what happened in here today.”

“Neither can but we’re all bout to go leave and get some rest. We’re flying out tomorrow but planning to hit up the 16 East Bar and Grill in Pensacola on Sunday before we head back out on the road,” Jey said smiling at me.

“You’re inviting us?” Roman asked in shock as Jey sighed. “I’m still mad as hell at you, but I can’t help but be thankful you were there with Kara. You risked your life to save her and Trin…That what family do.”

“I love them both…I always will, it ain’t nothing to thank me for.”

“Well, the option is open, we’ll probably get there about 7. Trin reserved the patio, so we ain’t gotta worry about people,” Jey said as I smiled.

Hey, I will take those baby steps in the healing process. I know we will come back together in some shape or form.

��Well, we will meet ya’ll there Sunday,” Roman said as I tried to contain my excitement, praying this was a positive step in the right direction for us.

----

Kara’s House

Kara’s POV

I’m glad we did come back to the house alone and just chilled out. I don’t know how I would have reacted hanging out with my mom, I needed time to decompress. 

“Girl, I love this back yard,” Trin gushed as I smiled wrapping myself up in my blanket.

“Thanks, when I saw the firepit I fell in love,” I said as she nodded roasting her marshmallows.

“I may have to talk Jimmy into getting us one. You know marshmallows are my weakness.” “That’s why I keep them stocked up ma’am,” I said as she smiled brightly at me.

“I know you had a lot of work to make up, did you finish?” Trin asked as I smiled. “I’m finally caught up, it wasn’t easy, but I have two A’s and two high B’s” I said truly proud of how I overcame and turned everything around.

“Yes! You know when you graduate I’mma act a fool…You know this right?” she said making me laugh as I looked at Jey flipping the meat on the grill as Jimmy was telling him some animated story. I loved their relationship so much.

“Have you told Jey?” Trin asked as I smiled at her. “Told him what?”

“Uh, that you love him, duh,” she said as I blushed. “I’ll have you know I told him the night I woke up from surgery.”

“That’s great…So are ya’ll together or what is we doing?”

“I’m scared Trin,” I said honestly as she nodded in understanding. “Do you want to be with Jey?” she asked as I nodded. “Yea, I really do.”

“Then be with him Kara, what’s the problem?.…That man loves and adores you,” she said gently pushing my shoulder.

 “I can see the blogs now having a fucking field day. Imagine their us at family gatherings. Chile, did you hear Kara is here with Joshua like she wasn’t married to Roman.”  I mocked as Trin shrugged her shoulders.

“Girl, fuck them bloggers and keyboard trolls, they don't know you and it ain't they fuckin' business. Plus, you knew Jey before Roman anyway."

"Ok, but like I said, what about the family gatherings. You know they always have parties and cookouts," I said as Trin smiled.

"Fuck their opinions too, but I don’t think it will be a problem, everyone loves you, especially mom and pops. They hate what Roman did and I think you’re overthinking it.”

“So much is going on, I just don’t want to hurt him Trin,” I whispered as she reached over and put her hand on my knee.

“It’s your time to be happy Kara and damn what people think. Life is too short, and you got a second chance at life.”

“I know I got a second chance, but I’m scared of screwing this up,” I said finally voicing my fears.

“Live your life Kara, tomorrow ain’t promised to none of us. You don’t owe anybody anything, ain’t no debts around here,” Trin said as I gave her a hug.

“I know and I love you, girly.  Ugh, I’m so tired of crying,” I sniffed failing to stop my tears.

“I love you too, sis, it’s time for the happy tears now because you deserve it.”

“You really think so?” I asked barely above a whisper as she rubbed my back. “I know so, everything you’ve ever wanted for yourself in this life about to happen and I can’t wait to see witness it.”

“Ya’ll aright over there?” Jimmy asked as Jey turned to look back at us.

“Yea, just two sisters having our daily talk,” I said as Trin laughed.

“Ya’ll know how we get, let us have our moment,” she said as Jimmy shook his head. “Man, what we gon’ do with them two?” Jimmy asked as Jey chuckled handing him a pan so he could take some of the steaks off the grill.

“Love ‘em and let them do their thang,” he chuckled. “Yea, what he said!” Trin yelled as I laughed.

Trin was right it’s my time to put myself first and live my life. Anything or anybody that disrupts my peace from this point forward gotta go, because it’s a new beginning for me, for us all.

-----

Pensacola, FL

A Few Days Later

Janice’s POV

We been home a couple days, and it was my day to pick up Logan. I can’t place it, but I knew something wasn’t right. “Lord, uncover whatever it is because we’ve all been through enough,” I said aloud feeling nauseous pulling into Rebecca and Bill’s driveway.

Knocking on the door and getting no answer, I called and once again no answer. I saw Rebecca’s car and had talked to her ten minutes ago. I was getting irritated now.

“How the hell you gon’ tell me to come over to get Logan and not pick up the phone or answer the door.” I mutter looking under the rug for their spare key.

Opening the door, I looked around and there was no sign of Rebecca in the foyer or living room. I could hear Logan babbling on the baby monitor in the living room, so I knew she was ok.

 “Rebecca!” I called out, no answer. “This how these damn horror movie start, I hope this fool is ok,” I mutter heading towards the kitchen.

“I can’t thank you enough Terry,” I heard Rebecca say as I stopped in my tracks.

Who the hell is Terry?

“Rebecca, this is the last time I’m taking your call. I did this favor for you and Tia, but I don’t want to be tied to the drama. I got too much to lose,” I heard the familiar voice say as she laid the phone on the table.

“Thank you for helping her, she really is anxious to make it right with her sister when she gets out,” Rebecca said grabbing Logan’s formula putting it in her baby bag.

The damn judge….She was the reason for that shit show the other day.

“That’s good and all but I put in a no contact order in the paperwork for a reason. I truly feel she meant what she did and her actions alone warranted life in prison, but I helped you for old time sakes,” he said sounding seemingly disappointed with himself.

“I---We appreciate this so much, she’s going to stay out of trouble when she gets out and we won’t bother you again.”

I was physically ill, this was sick.

“I don’t know what hold your daughter has over you…But if this goes bad, it’s on your head. It would be in her best interest to just leave Kara be,” he said as she shook her head.

“I will handle Kara; she will come around and see Tia was just going through a lot and didn’t mean to hurt her. I just know by the time it’s time for Tia to get out, they will have reconnected, and Kara will be calling you to cancel that no contact order.”

This woman has lost it, like needs to sit on someone’s couch…ASAP. Hearing enough, I quietly retraced my steps finally finding my way back in the entrance of the house pretending I had just arrived.

“Rebecca, I’m here to get Logan!” I said a little louder as I heard her scrambling round the kitchen.

“She’s upstairs, I’ll get her,” she yelled as I shook my head.

I can’t believe she sold out her own daughter to protect the other one that tried to kill her. She and Tia are really one in the same she just masks her dirt.

It seemed like it took forever, but finally she brought Logan downstairs.

“Oh, baby girl I missed you,” I whispered as she placed a dozing Logan in my arms. “I put her formula in the bag, and she’s already had a bottle. She should be asleep before you get back home,” Rebecca said as I smiled at my little light.

That’s what she was to us, no matter how she was conceived, our little light.

“You can pick her up at Roman’s on Thursday. I’ll leave you to your nana break and see you tomorrow at dinner,” I said grabbing Logan’s diaper bag quickly wanting to get the hell outta dodge.

“Ok, we’ll see you then and enjoy her,” she said giving Logan a kiss on the forehead.

“Oh, we will,” I said making my way out of the house, thankful she didn’t follow me out. After strapping logan in her car seat I rushed to get back in the car to call Trin but got no answer, then I remembered she had a signing to do today.

“Hey sweetie, I forgot you had a signing, and I know ya’ll gotta help out Josh tonight. I’ll just see you tomorrow at dinner. You and Jonathon be safe, love ya’ll.”

I guess I’m on my own with this one, but I know one thing, Kara will know about the shady shit her mama did and I’mma make Rebecca tells her if it’s the last thing I do.

-----

Pensacola, FL

Jey’s House

Kayla’s POV

Getting out of the shower I felt refreshed as I dried off. Looking at myself in the mirror I felt different.. Today was amazing, we had our balcony picnic date. It was simple, beautiful, and was everything.  Pizza, wine, and some of my favorite snacks had been on the menu.

The ocean serving as our backdrop and music as the waves crashed upon the shore due to a storm heading our way. We even went on a walk on the beach and watched the sunset before we got rained out. Hence the shower I just took.

I still hadn’t told Jey how I felt but today just solidified it even more. I was deeply in love with this man.

“You ok in there Kara?” Jey asked knocking on the door as I smiled.

“Yea, I’m good I’ll be out in a second,” I said dressing my wound. Thank God it’s finally healing and not hurting as much.  Slipping on one of Jey’s shirts, I cut off the lights as I headed back into the bedroom, frowning when I didn’t see him.

“Jey-”

“I’m out here on the balcony, wait I’mma come get you,” he said as I smiled at the thought of going back out there.

“What have you done now?” I asked as he smiled clad only in a pair of shorts. “This is part two of your balcony picnic date, Ma,” he whispered offering me his hand as I anxiously took it.

“Aww it’s so pretty….Wait where did all this come from?” I gasped as he led me back out on the balcony. “Told you I wasn’t done yet, do you like it?”

“I love it but how did you do it? We been out here all day and I know I ain’t seen no bed out here earlier.” I said as he laughed.

“A couple of lil birdies did it when we went for a walk on the beach. This is your new study area for when you come to visit.” he said as I blushed looking at the bed on the balcony surrounded by pillows and the beautiful string lights above it.

“I can’t believe you did all this,” I said as he smiled, laying down beckoning me to him with his finger.

“Come on down here, Ma, I owe you a movie.” Not needing to be told twice, I climbed in bed and got comfortable in his arms.

“You know, I’ve always loved staying here.  I could fall asleep out here just listening to the ocean, and now you done put a bed out here. You know it’s a wrap right, I may never leave,” I sighed, welcoming his lips as he placed a gentle kiss on the hollow of my neck. as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders pulling him closer.

“Maybe that was my plan, kidnap you, and never let you leave,” he said as I relaxed wanting to feel more of him as his hands caressed my bare thighs.

“You can’t kidnap the willing,” I moaned, his fingers feeling so good but I winced slightly as Jey looked at me with worry.

“Are you ok?” He asked as I nodded not wanting him to stop. “Kara, let me can get up, I’on  wanna hurt you,” he said trying to sit up as I grabbed his Cuban link holding him in place.

“I’m fine, don’t you dare move,” I said as he smiled, rolling over on his back wrapping me up in his arms.

“Ok, this is a good compromise too,” I moaned getting comfortable as the pain in my chest subsided. “I know it is, stubborn ass,” Jey chuckled, reaching up to turn off the lights and starting the movie projector.

“What are we watching?” I asked, as he gently pulled one of my legs across his lap before covering us up with a blanket.

“You’ll see,” he whispered stealing a kiss as I squealed hearing the opening credits to Dirty Dancing as he laughed.

“The stuff I do for you, woman.”

“I love this movie!”

“I know, I remembered how excited you was at the hospital that night it came on. Then you got mad and almost made me switch the channel.”

“Hey, I was ready for the love scene, and they cut it… Just plain blasphemous, but I took one for the team because one simply doesn’t change the channel when Patrick Swayze is blessing your TV screen.” I said as he raised his eyebrow at me.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” he joked as we settled in to watch the movie under the stars.

See Jey knew my love languages and I loved that. He knew what mattered, it wasn’t diamonds and pearls, or even money. It was spending quality time, it was physical touch, and creating memories with the ones you love. Jey’s love languages were a mixture of my mine. He loved to please and do for those he loved.

 He made sure every day to tell and show you how much you mean to him, and he only wanted the same in return and rightfully so.

“I’m glad you had fun and loved everything,” he said pulling me closer.

“I really did, and I hope you know I don’t just be hugged up with just anybody now,” I said as he looked down at me with a smile, catching on to what I was saying.

“Well, I don’t just do balcony picnics dates for just anybody either.” His lips close to mine as my heart pounded loudly against my chest.

“I have to warn you, I only do things like this with my man,” I whispered, as our lips finally meeting in a short, deep passionate kiss.

“And I only do things like this with my lady.” he moaned as our lips found each other once again as our kisses becoming more passionate by the second.

“For us,” Jey moaned against my lips as I whimpered against him.

“For us.”

“You sure?” He rasped pulling back slightly, watching me closely through low hooded eyes.

“I’m sure…I’ve never been sure of anything in my life,” I said as Jey caressed my face.

 “Forever my lady,” he whispered as his lips descended upon mine as I felt like I was flying. We were finally here at last and it felt so good. Breaking our kiss to catch our breaths.

“Ma, we can wait…I-I don’t want to hurt you,” Jey moaned, his beautiful brown eyes growing darker as I moved his hand slowly down to the hem of my shirt.

“You won’t, I trust you,” I gasped as his resolve crumbling taking me in a searing kiss, only releasing me from his grasp to remove my shirt.

“Your so beautiful, he whispered in awe as I blushed under his powerful serenading gaze.

Like a moth to a flame, I craved his touch and trembled with anticipation as he towered over me. The pain in my chest a distant memory, laying on my back as Jey took his time exploring my body.

His powerful hands grasping mine, bringing them to his chest as I felt his heart racing.

“I want you to feel what you do to me,” he said licking his lips as I groaned, biting my lower lip as he thrusted my hips against his dick that was straining against his shorts begging for release.

His hands controlling every sensual buck of my hips against his dick as it continued to grow longer and harder.

“Mmm, I feel it,” I gasped, his lips capturing mine in an earth-shattering kiss as my hands anxiously helped him remove his shorts.

“Not yet aulelei,” he moaned grabbing my hands gently pining them to the bed. His kisses moved to my neck, my heart racing as he caressed my breasts, being careful of my bandage.

“Are you sure?” he asked again.

“Yes, please,” I pleaded entangling my fingers in his hair as he gently suckled at my breasts taking his time with each one giving them equal attention holding my gaze as I fought back a moan.

“Mm, you sensitive huh,” he whispered with a smirk as I blushed. His lips lovingly kissing and nibbling down my body, teasingly as I fought to get ahold of myself but I was gone…

“Jey, don’t stop,” I gasped, my body trembling in anticipation of what was next to come.

 His eyes darkening as kissed the top of my mound gazing up at me with low eyes licking his lips as he descended lower. “I don’t plan too,” he whispered as I purred in appreciation.

Jey’s POV

Damn, I’m drunk…Drunk in love her intoxicating sent as I kissed the plush beautiful lips between her thighs, as Kara’s legs began to quiver.

“P- Please, Jey,” Kara as I groaned as I felt my dick get even harder.

"Fuck, all this for me aulelei? Tell me?” I moaned as her eyes met mine.

“Yes! Mmm, you know it is,” Kara gasped as I flattened my tongue and gently licked her slit, unable to stop the moan that rasped from my lips as the first drop of her sweet nectar coated my tongue.

“Mmm, I knew you’d taste like honey…. You done fucked around and created a monster, Ma,” I moaned, snatching her hips to my mouth as I swirled my tongue against her clit, commencing to drown in her.

“Jey, shit!” Kara gasped down at me in shock as I smirked.  The beautiful catch in her throat as I pleased her had me on demon time. I needed more…Much more and only she could give me what I wanted.

 “I- Mmm-” Kara moaned, trying to push my head away as I Ignored her plea intertwining our hands together, moving my tongue faster against her wet hot center.

“Stop runnin’, cause’ you deserve dis nut…..You understand me?”

Kara nodded, unable to speak. “Tell me you understand aulelei ?”

“I-I understand,” Kara whimpered as I moaned “Ain’t no stoppin’ Kara….Ain’t no stoppin’ till you nut in my mouth like a good girl,” I breathed against her pussy before going back to the task at hand.

“Fuck!..Oouu Josh, shit!” She moaned, her trembling legs over my shoulder as she sat up slightly panting in disbelief.

“Yea, you wit a real one now, moan my name baby. Damn, you makin’ my dick even harder just thinkin’ bout you nuttin’ in my mouth,” I confessed, knowing my words were encouraging her to get what she wanted…What we both needed.

“Mmm, I need it so bad,” Kara moaned moving her hips against my tongue. “Mmhm, so do I baby…. Dat’s it, you doin’ so good”

“Joshjoshjosh Mmhm!”

“Mmhm, get what’s yours. Fuck, you look so sexy chasin’ yo’ nut,” I moaned as she bit her lower lip, gripping the back of my head riding my face.

 “Babe! Kara exclaimed as she exploded in my mouth. Her beautiful face and the swivel of her hips as she rode out her orgasm were a thing of beauty.

I couldn’t get enough of her as I greedily drank her essence with a hearty moan as she writhed on the bed trying to catch her breath.  

Yea, I did dat…Fuck, I wanna keep her this way forever.

Crawling up her body, her flush face welcomed me as she grasped my Cuban link kissing me with urgency as I groaned nipping at her bottom lip.

“Mmm, you taste yourself?….You taste good, don’t you?” I groaned as Kara whimpered against my lips. Her trembling hand, reaching down between us grabbing my dick placing the tip at her entrance as I moaned trying to control myself.

“Mmm, tell me what you need,” I moaned, Kara pulling me closing whispering three words that made ignited an even deeper fire within me. “You inside me,” she gasped breathlessly as I  gave in, her tight warmth surrounding me, welcoming me home.

“Shit, Kara,” I groaned trying to take my time knowing she was still hurt, but she was making it hard. I wanted to sink inside her and get lost.  

“It’s ok,” she moaned, pulling me closer. A collective gasp of undeniable pleasure from us both filled the air as I filled her to the hilt.  

Kara’s POV

The sweat gathered at his brow as he’s trying to maintain his composure slowly beginning to thrust inside me as I craved more. “Mmm, faster.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jey moaned as I nodded not particularly caring, he felt so good, and I wanted him closer but I knew him.

“Your not,” I gasped as he gripped my hips gently once again surging forward as we both groaned at the sensation.

“I’mma take my time….Make love to you,” Jey whispered burying his head in the hollow of my neck, tilting his weight on his elbows, thrusting at a new angle that rendered me whimpering mess as he showered my neck with kisses.

“Damn, found my first spot,” he groaned as I began meeting his thrusts, feeling the pressure building with each caress, every lick and thrust we got lost in each other.

Something was different, this wasn’t sex like it was all those months ago on Roman’s bus.  This was different, we were making love and it felt so good.

With each swivel of his hips, he went deeper and deeper, our lips meeting in a familiar dance as our tongues sensually stroked each other.

The smell of rain and the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore made the moment even more special.

Each second, body to body, skin to skin we climbed higher and higher together as Jey carefully rolled onto his back, shifting me onto my side, trying to take some pressure off of my chest but never stopping his gently thrusts.

A strangled moan escaped my lips at the new position as Jey wrapped one arm around my chest, the other placing one of my leg over his as I trembled in his arms.

“It’s just us…. Stop being shy, ma,” he rasped against my ear thrusting at a steadier pace.

“Mmm, you feel so good. I need it so bad, Josh!” I cried as he growled nipping at my neck as tears sprang to my eyes from the immense pleasure.

“I know baby, me too, I need you to cum for me…You gon’ give me what I want, ain’t you?”

“Yes! I’m close, don’t stop,” my desperate cries silenced as he grasped my throat bringing my mouth to his in a scorching kiss, as I writhed in need against him.  His other hand to toying with my clit.

“You gon’ cum for me, like a good girl?” Jey asked already knowing the answer, his thrusts and breathing more uneven as I pulsed around him.

“Mmm,Yes.”

“Louder, Ma.”

“Yes! I’mma cum like a good girl, I promise,” I cried unashamed. He was dickin’ my ass down and it felt so damn good.

“Yea…Let it go, Ma. Damn, you so feel good,” he murmured against my lips.

“Josh! Fuck!” I cried coming undone in his arms. “Mmm, fuck yea look at you cummin’ just for me,” Jey praised pulling out, rubbing his dick against my clit.  “Mmm, put it back in,” I begged truly drunk on him at this point, and I wanted all he had to give.

Jey’s POV

“Uh huh, I know baby, dat pussy quivering. You need some more of dis dick don’t you?” I groaned turned on as fuck as Kara reached down, moving my hand, grasping my dick rubbing against her clit before sliding the tip back inside her.

“Take what you want, I’m yours.”

 “I want more,” Kara purred guiding my dick back inside her as we both gasped as we became one again….

“Fuck, yea…Put dat dick back in for daddy and get you another nut I moaned as we moved against each other in sync.

 “I- I want you to cum now.” Kara whimpered against me as I felt a her tight pussy swallowing my dick like a champ. Fuck, I wasn’t gon’ last too much longer.

 “Hold on, we both gon’ get this next nut together,” I groaned on a mission thrusting harder. “Josh- Wh-”

“Just breathe, ma…Let it take over, I promise its gon’ feel so good,” I whispered nibbling on her ear as I felt her relax. “Baby….Baby…Mm, Josh,” Kara gasped.

“Yea..I’m right here Kara, I got you.”

“What are you doing to me?” Kara groaned trying to hide her face but I refused to let her. Grabbing her chin, making her look at me.

“I’ll tell you what I’m doin’…..I’m makin’ love to the woman I love,” I declared, continuing to get lost inside her.

“I love you,” Kara moaned as our lips met in a sloppy kiss as she took my hand and placed it on her clit, and guiding my hand in a figure eight motion as she began steadily throwing her ass back on my dick to match my deep hard thrust.

“Shit! I love you more. …Now be my good girl, and cum for me…Fuck you doin’ so good, ma,” I moaned.

“Jey! Mmm, fuck!” Kara screamed as I felt her pulsing around my dick.

“Uh huh, I know it baby, I feel it.”

“Cum with me.”

 “Can I cum inside you?” I groaned thrusting harder praying she would say yes. “Yes, I want you too Josh,” she whimpered as her head fell back against my shoulder in shock as she fell over the cliff of extasy, taking me with her as I groaned in triumph holding her trembling body against mine as I came and stilled inside her.

The sounds of the rain hitting the roof, along with our heavy breathing filled the night air. Neither one of us said anything for a few minutes, too stunned to speak.

 “Damn, that was insane,” I whispered, finally somewhat regaining my composure as Kara rolled onto her back still trying to catch her breath.

“Best balcony picnic date ever,” Kara said with a relaxed smile as I gently kissed her lips.

“No regrets,” I whispered as Kara caressed my beard. “No regrets.”

------

Roman's House

Janice's POV

"Mama, I can't believe he posted this," Roman said as I leaned over his shoulder to look at his phone.

"Aww that was nice Joshua did that for Kara," I said as Roman rolled his eyes.

Mama-"

"What it's very sweet."

"What about the blanket hanging off the bed mama? He's being messy, in so many words sayin' he slept with Kara," Roman said as I frowned at him.

"Roman they could have been cuddling watching movies for all we know, but in the end, it isn't your business what Kara does."

"I know, but can people give me time to deal with what I lost? I lost my wife and now she's with my cousin." Roman said slightly raising his voice.

"Roman, Kara isn't going to put her life on hold to make you feel better. I had something to tell you, but I see you aren't in the right frame of mind to hear it right now." I said choosing to not pass on the new information I found out at Rebecca's today. He'll find out tomorrow like everyone else.

"No I'm not in a good head space, but I will be when I get some air," Roman said as I got up and stood by the kitchen door.

"No you ain't because you're going to end up at Josh's and I'm not letting you do that to Kara or yourself," I said putting my foot down.

"I just need some air, mama, please move," Roman pleaded as I refused to move.

"The last time you went out to get some air you ended up in Boston and could have got yourself killed, so no I ain't moving."I cried. Roman was at his breaking point, but he needed to get all this shit out. He was holding too much in.

"What do you want from me?!" Roman yelled as I pulled him into my arms giving him a much needed hug as his arms tightened around me.

"I want you to let it go, baby...Let that guilt go and free yourself, it's almost been a year." I said trying to get through to him.

"I lost her and I can't fix it," Roman said his voice breaking as rubbed his back. "Some things aren't meant to be fixed Roman...We just own up to our mistakes and take it one day at a time," I said as he pulled away wiping his tears.

"I know I gotta let her go, mama. My mind tells me that every day but my heart ain't caught up yet," Roman said sitting back down and looking at his phone.

"It will...Just give yourself time," I said as we heard Logan cry over the baby monitor.

"I got her, you went the last time," Roman said going to check on Logan leaving his phone on the table.

Picking it up I looked at Josh's post and smiled.

"Gon' head Joshua," I muttered truly happy that Kara was moving on and being loved how she deserved to be.

The thought of tomorrow suddenly crept back into my mind. I hated to disrupt the dinner tomorrow but I couldn't let this betrayal stay hidden.

Kara needed to know there was more than one enemy she needed protection from. I just never in my wildest dreams thought it would be her own mother.

Tomorrow Rebecca is coming clean or i'mma do it myself.

Taglist:

@reci24 @southerngirl41 @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl @melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo @arination99 @2-muchsauce @bakugoumarianawrites@empressdede @alyyaanna @christinabae

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[fastandcarlos]

Soft Launch : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris

summary: follow the journey of lando’s soft launch to reveal your relationship

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 1,302,382 others

landonorris: one shoulder up or two 🤔

67,505 comments

username1: anyone else notice the person who accidentally walked in midway through the stream tonight!?

username2: lando definitely had a girl over…

alex_albon: you must be desperate for content if this is what you’re posting 🙄

username3: why won’t you tell us who was round your apartment lando??

georgerussell63: how about neither of your elbows up you weird man

username4: I keep replaying it but I can’t work out anything about them…

username5: what if lando has a secret girlfriend or something

danielricciardo: you know it’s okay to look at a photo and change your mind about posting it

username6: not everyone rinsing lando in the comments 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55 and 1,937,605 others

landonorris: life’s been pretty good recently ☀️

58,391 comments

username7: any particular reason why that might be mr lando norris

carlossainz55: care to elaborate? 🤔

landonorris: @/carlossainz55 zooming over to ferrari now to fill you in

username8: wonder if it’s pretty good because of someone??

georgerussell63: glad to see you with a smile on your face buddy 🫶🏻

username9: is he hinting that this new girl has made his life better??

maxverstappen1: I wanna know all of the gossip too 😂

username10: I’d love to be the reason for lando’s smile fyi

username11: I’m more interested to know who even took these photos

oscarpiastri: I’m fed up of this new version of you, you’re too smiley to have around the garage now

landonorris: @/oscarpiastri sorry not sorry 🙃

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by team_quadrant, maxfewtrell and 1,492,606 others

landonorris: apparently if you find a girl who likes quadrant, she’s definitely a keeper ✨

78,301 comments

username12: this sounds like confirmation to me that lando has a girl

team_quadrant: girls who like quadrant = girls with good taste

username13: do you reckon that’s her in the photo ☺️

danielricciardo: ik a better brand of clothes that they could wear 😂

landonorris: @/danielricciardo quadrant > enchante 🤫

username14: really hoping this new girl likes quadrant so she can stick around forever

username15: I like quadrant…does that make me your girlfriend now??

charles_leclerc: I like quadrant but you’re not willing to date me…

username16: @/charles_leclerc also not a girl you clown

oscarpiastri: if I do a photo shoot with you do I get free merch too?

pierregasly: why am I so invested in being part of lando’s comment section lmao

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 1,594,706 others

landonorris: thank you for bringing so much positivity into my life 🫶🏻🥺

89,394 comments

danielricciardo: you’re welcome honey 😇

landonorris: @/danielricciardo you wish that I was talking to you

username17: look how perfect they look together wow

username18: it’s official, he’s actually managed to get a girlfriend

georgerussell63: congrats on not being the single friend anymore 👏🏻

carlossainz55: little lando norris finally got himself a girlfriend 😂

username19: I want to be happy but I so wish that this was me

username20: the look on his face 😭 I’m so happy he’s happy

charles_leclerc: if you want some tips on how to be a good boyfriend just zoom back to ferrari again

username21: my heart is so full - cheering for these guys all the way!!

username22: constantly telling myself not to be bitter that my dreams now won’t come true

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by mclaren, charles_leclerc and 1,395,604 others

landonorris: race weekend with a first timer, luckily for her she picked the best team to support 🧡🏎️

89,483 comments

maxverstappen1: did she get a choice or did you force her to do this??

landonorris: @/maxverstappen1 she said she wanted to support the team with the most handsome driver 💁🏻‍♂️

oscarpiastri: @/landonorris she thinks I’m handsome awh

landonorris: @/oscarpiastri 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

username23: how have we not got a face reveal when she was literally at the race

username24: I never had lando down for a soft launch kinda guy

danielricciardo: did you even introduce her to all the teams on the grid, you know, let her make her on mind up??

username25: whoever she is she knows how to rock papaya

username26: omg the height difference is the sweetest

logansargeant: I remember when I used to hug you and you’d rest against my chest like that 😂

alex_albon: look at you being all cute and charming

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 1,022,494 others

landonorris: holidaying with my favourites 🌊☀️

89,504 comments

username27: eurgh lando you’re killing us with all these almost photos

maxfewtrell: I’m the number one out of the two of us though right??

landonorris: @/maxfewtrell whatever makes you feel better sweet cheeks

username28: my heart can’t cope with this for much longer

oscarpiastri: so you holidayed with your favourites and yet I’m here at home 🤔

username29: lando replacing oscar with his girlfriend is peak

username30: lando knows what he’s doing and this is so not fair

username31: I bet he’s laughing at all of us when he looks at his comments section

alex_albon: it’s alright for some 😂

username32: lando I’m on my knees pls just tell us more about who this lucky girl is

georgerussell63: I think your fans might turn on you soon if you don’t stop playing them 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, georgerussell63 and 1,302,493 others

landonorris: another race weekend with my best human there to cheer me on 💕☺️

99,398 comments

username33: FINALLY HE GAVE US WHAT WE WANT

username34: omg she’s absolutely gorgeous lando

username35: we won at last woooooo

alex_albon: still can’t believe your girlfriend supports mclaren 😭

oscarpiastri: don’t forget who the most handsome mclaren driver is tho 😂

username36: they look so in love together 💞

username37: I want to be jealous but how can I be when they look so cute

lilymhe: we’re double dating asap btw

danielricciardo: they don’t prepare you for when the kids grow up 🤧

landonorris: @/danielricciardo sorry dad 😭

username38: my heart has officially exploded 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, danielricciardo and 1,948,502 others

landonorris: whoops they caught us 🥺

tagged: ynusername

138,849 comments

username39: these two are gonna be such a duo omg

username40: ah and he even tagged her 🤩🤩🤩

danielricciardo: my kids are the cutest things in the world

carlossainz55: smooooth operator 😂😂

landonorris: @/carlossainz55 high praise from you my friend 🫡

username41: thank goodness that the soft launch era is now over

username42: I’m already in love with them so much

username43: I don’t want to be yn anymore, I just want to be her best friend

charles_leclerc: congrats buddy 👏🏻👏🏻

alex_albon: stop making the rest of us feel single even though we’re also in relationships please

ynusername: ily 🥺🥺🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[mustainegf]

hii :)

could I request something where Dave calls reader in the middle of the night all whiny because he can’t get off (him and reader aren’t in an established relationship)? And if you could please avoid the mommy kink? Nothing against it it just personally doesn’t do anything for me 😅

OHHHHH LORD THIS IS GOOD YOUNG DAVE PLS ME NEXT PLS CALL ME DAVE

𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 ¹⁹⁸³

The phone woke me with a shrill ring. The clock was glowing 2:13 AM from my nightstand. Groggily, I reached over and picked up the receiver, barely registering who could be calling at this ungodly hour.

"Hello?" I mumbled, my voice thick as sand.

"H-Hey, it's Dave," he replied in a low, shaky voice. Instantly, I was more awake. Dave was one of my best friends, but even with that given, it wasn't common for him to call me at this hour, if ever.

"Dave? What's wrong?" My concern mounted at his answer.

"I… I know it's late. I'm really sorry. I just… I couldn't stop thinking about you," he said, his tone now bordering on desperate. "I need you."

His words passed through me, confusing and exciting all at once, somehow. "What do you mean?" I asked once more as my pulse increased.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he replied, much firmer this time. "Please... I need to get off, and you’re all I can think about..."

I was speechless, utterly speechless as I realized Dave was currently cock in hand. This wasn't the Dave I knew, who joked and laughed and felt challenged by any word spoken to him.

Yet, something sparked under me. "You're serious?" I asked wearily, trying to make my voice steady.

"Yes," he said, catching his breath. "I know it sounds crazy, but I can't help it. Please, I need you.”

The line was heavy with silence. Then, almost involuntarily, I found myself responding. "What… what do you want me to do?"

"Tell me what you're wearing," he begged, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as I could hear a quick shifting of something on the other line.

I looked down at my ruffled pajama top and shorts. "Just a shirt, and panties," I said, shivering oddly at the idea of sharing even this mundane fact.

"Take them off," he said softly. "Imagine my hands are on you, undressing you."

I shivered, both from the cool air and the heat in his words. Slowly, I slipped out of my clothes, the fabric whispering against my skin. "They're off," I whispered back.

"Good girl," he breathed. "Now, touch yourself. Tell me how it feels."

My hand moved almost of its own accord, trailing down my body until I found the warmth between my thighs. I was already slick just from his words.

I twitched softly at the contact. "It feels g-good," I confessed, my breath rising.

"Keep going," he urged, wet sounds echoing from his line. "Imagine it's me touching you. My fingers inside you."

I did, shutting my eyes and picturing Dave’s fingers screwing into me, curling up into my gummy walls.

My clit was so weak from the thought of Dave in bed, clutching the phone as he worked his frustrated cock.

“I’m covered in precum… that’s what you do to me..” Dave groaned. Good lord, I just about melted at the thought of his length slick with cum, wishing insides that it was mine.

"God, I wish I could see you right now," he moaned. "I'm so close. Are you gonna cum soon?"

"Yes," I murmured, teetering on the edge of orgasm.

"Cum for me," he growled, his voice raw and commanding. "Cum with me."

That was all it. My body bucked, and I screamed, cumming and spanning around my fingers. I could hear Daves own release, a primal sound that sent another tremble through me.

I whined as we both caught our breath, whimpering incoherent words, he spoke again, and his tone had changed. "I'm coming over."

"What?" I asked, my post orgasmic haze breaking slightly.

"I need to see you," he said firmly. "I need to be with you. I'm coming over right now."

The line went dead before I could even respond. I lay there for a moment, my mind racing with everything that had just happened in the last 5 minutes.

I didn't know what would happen when Dave got there, but one thing was for sure, the night was far from over.

[wrathofrats]

That posts just got me thinking about Swiss going into heat with Phantom in his bed. They're still new to the sexual side to their relationship but Phantom would do anything to help the pathetic whining ghoul next to him, even if it means trying out a lot of new kinks he's never even thought about

I got carried away as usual are we surprised.

Sorry this took like … 6 months HAHAH

Forgive My Reasons And What I Can’t Disguise.

Swiss/phantom, 2k, explicit

Read below or on ao3!

Warnings for: dubious consent, dollification, objectification, heat, knotting, sensory deprivation, i made it fucking weird as usual.

Or swiss goes into heat, phantom gets himself in more hot water than he can probably handle.

Phantoms shirt was soaked. The body underneath him radiating heat he only thought possible by a fire ghoul.

Swiss still hadn’t woken up, his skin was shiny with his own sweat, likely the cause for the dark splotches on phantoms shirt. His breathing was heavier than usual, the up and down motion of his chest likely the cause of phantom waking up at an hour he is sure is supposed to be illegal. Oh, and the heat. The waves of heat that are almost suffocating.

“Swiss, swiss” phantom grabbed his shoulders and shook. Swiss was never one to wake up easily, he was sure that they could downright bomb the building and swiss would be none the wiser. It was useless, and considering the state he’s in phantom doesn’t know if he truly has time to mess around with trying to wake him gently.

Could he be sick? Did they catch some human illness at mass? The siblings were cesspools of diseases unknown to the ghouls, they would come in to the infirmary constantly with things that truly sounded demonic in nature. Bronchitis, gonorrhea, hell he’s surprised they didn’t just start naming the common cold asmodeus.

That wasn’t the point though. Phantoms finger sparked with a small purple bolt of electricity before placing it against Swiss’ temple. An old quintessence trick, nothing to hurt whoever it was, but it was enough to jump them out of their sleep.

Swiss shook, eyes flying open while his breathing only got heavier, he gave phantom a confused look before taking in the state they were both in. Phantoms shirt clinging to him with sweat and swiss practically dripping with his own. He felt a sharp tug in his stomach, before throwing his arm over his face with a groan.

“Are you ok? Are you sick? I can call aeth-“

“I’m in heat bug” swiss sighed. “Thought I had more time but clearly I was very wrong, otherwise I would’ve locked myself in mountains room for the night”

The pit of worry in phantoms chest melted into a feeling of arousal, something needy. He’d never been able to help another ghoul with their heat, only really knowing that it’s happening when he asks where someone is just to hear banging on the walls and growling from another ghouls room. Locked away to do who knows what in order to quell the animalistic need.

Swiss started to get up, throwing the suffocating blankets to the side in order to stand in the middle of the room instead of in the bed, which seemed to only make the warmth worse.

“Sorry about this phantom, I’m going to head to dews room and see if I can get it to go away anytime soon” swiss threw on a shirt that was laying on the floor, shaking out his locs and throwing them up into a loose bun in an attempt to cool down his face and neck.

“Wait” phantom scrambled out of bed “you don’t have to go, I can help you”

“Bug it’s a lot more intense than you’re thinking, it’s hard to control myself, I don’t want to hurt you or scare you off” swiss was practically panting by now, his sweatpants tented obscenely and were slung low around his hips. His hands clenched at his sides, he was getting desperate, about to snap if he couldn’t fuck out his heat as soon as possible.

“Please scare me, show me how to handle your heat, use me” phantom nearly begged. Swiss didn’t need much convincing, his heat already clouding his judgment. On any other day he would’ve taken it slow, explained to phantom exactly what was going to happen. But in a state like this? After phantom told him to scare him? It’s hard to keep a calm demeanor.

Swiss just nods, not trusting himself to actually speak without biting. He backs phantom up against the bed, phantoms legs spreading for swiss to stand in between. He grabs his hips, simply staring at his thighs with small, tight boxers being the only thing covering him. He looked small in Swiss’ grip. There was a pause in their movements while swiss tried to maintain composure. With dew he could easily bend the little thing over and take as he pleased, but with phantom? Part of him still worries. New and not used to how hard some of the others play.

But his need only grows. The fire in him only getting worse as he tries to stave it off.

“Tell me again. Tell me that you want this again. Tell me to scare you phantom” swiss practically growls.

“Break me swiss, I’m yours to use”

Swiss pushes against him hard, forcing him up the bed to lay on the pillows. He doesn’t waste any time pulling the clothes off of him, ridding him of his still wet shirt and boxers, watching as his cock rapidly thickens as swiss strips him.

His hand immediately grabbed at his neck, forcing his head back. He can feel Swiss’s breath on his skin. It feels predatory, the heavy breathing and sharp teeth so close to his jugular that a part of him truly is afraid, especially after swiss warned him he couldn’t control himself.

“Don’t think you know what you’ve done bug” swiss chuckled lowly into phantoms ear. “Won’t be able to stop myself from fucking ruining you now, gonna just turn you into a sex doll”

Phantom whimpered, pulling his head further to the side to expose the skin more, invite swiss to take what he needs. As his eyes close he felt the ghoul on top of him shift, rummaging through his bedside drawer.

Before he can open his eyes they’re covered with a soft black cloth, completely shielding his vision.

“Uh, swiss?” Phantoms voice shook. It was a weird feeling, he was used to being in tune with everything at all times. Quintessence making him sensitive to any change in the air. But without his vision? It feels weird, he knows he can’t be in control but this is a different level of loss that makes him actually fearful.

“Said your mine to use right? Don’t need to see anything. Just gotta stay still”

“Yeah I- if that’s what you want” swiss didn’t want to admit how much the fear in phantoms voice turned him on, a horrible part of him relishing in the control and power he feels from it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you relax doll”

A spark of quintessence jolted through phantoms nerves. He quickly realized he could no longer move, couldn’t shake his head, couldn’t lift a finger, couldn’t even speak. could only lay still and wait.

There was a small nudge in his brain, another bit of quintessence used to communicate. Quints were known to be able to talk to each other with their magic, and although swiss had a much weaker grasp, there was still the necessary sense of safety knowing if he needed to safe word he easily could, and he knew those were Swiss’ intentions.

He trusted him. Phantom just kept having to repeat that he trusted him. The hands on his body felt tenfold what the usually do without being able to see them. His cock kicked on his stomach, a small bit of liquid dribbling onto his stomach. It was almost embarrassing how hard he was given the circumstances, he should be afraid, he shouldn’t be into this, but he’s so hard it almost hurts. Swiss still wasn’t moving, and phantom realized that being able to take away phantoms ability to see and move was arousing enough to keep swiss under control of himself, even if just for a bit. He was getting off to phantom being a doll.

“Could just keep you like forever bug, let everyone use you to fuck out their heats, do whatever depraved things I know they’ve been dying to do to you. And you’d just let them wouldn’t you?” Phantom couldn’t nod, couldn’t protest, couldn’t respond. “That’s a good doll. Knew you wanted it.” Swiss laughed at the lack of response.

Two fingers prodded at phantoms hole. They were slightly slick, likely hastily licked by swiss in order to provide just a little glide. The intrusion still burned, thick and hasty, barely even for phantom comfort, more just so swiss knows he will fit.

“Sweet little thing. You almost feel real” swiss added another finger, spreading them wide to watch as phantoms hole stretched around them.

Phantoms skin felt like it was static, like he truly may be made of plastic. The fingers in him not even trying to give him any pleasure, more just an uncomfortable intrusion than swiss trying to get him off as well.

But phantom wasn’t supposed to get off. He was a toy. Silicone and nothing more according to swiss.

He could hear the rustling of clothing, a sign Swiss was actually about to fucking him properly. The smell of need from the both invaded his senses, made his already fuzzy head even more dizzy with the need to be used.

It hurt. Swiss was too big and it hurt. He barely fit, slowing sinking into him and only waiting for it to stop being borderline uncomfortably tight.

“You’d think you’d have more give, good thing I don’t have to worry about hurting you do I?” The talking felt like swiss was mocking him. Solidifying the fact that he couldn’t do anything like this.

After a minute or two swiss pulled out slowly, before slamming back into him. “Forgot I just gotta force you to stretch out. Silly me”

Phantom truly felt like a rag doll, the only sense of stability being where swiss held his hips in place. The rest of his body simply moved as swiss pleased, shaking with the force of his thrusts instead of being able to grab something to keep him on solid ground.

Once he adjusted the burning feeling melted into pleasure, Swiss rammed into his prostate, holding his hips up against him to get as deep as he possibly could. It felt amazing, the lack of sight and movement only heightening the simulation.

He wanted to beg, sob even. Needed swiss to touch him properly. He felt so close to the edge without even the relief of knowing he will finally get off because he truly doesn’t know what swiss is going to do to him.

There was swelling at the base of Swiss’ cock as it continued to pound into him. He was going to knot him, phantom should’ve known that this is how you break a heat but it still scared him. He couldn’t see how big it was, could only hope it was at least relatively painless.

“Gonna get you stuck on me, tear you open so no one else will fit. Make you fucking mine” swiss gave a final thrust before it finally popped into him with a sickening squelch. It didn’t hurt but god he felt overwhelmingly full, like he was going to fucking bust open if swiss moved at all.

He heard panting above him, Swiss’ hands soothing up and down his hips.

The blindfold was delicately removed, and swiss slowly used his magic to bring phantom back to.

“Fuck you’re so good to me bug, are you alright?” He breathed

“Yeah, m fine” phantoms brain felt like soup, like it could leak out of his ears.

“I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, I liked it, like that I made a good toy for you” phantom gave swiss a sleepy smile. He was worn out, the given control back making him realized how sore his muscles are.

“Can I finish you off baby bat? Let me make you feel good?” Phantom just nodded. He squirmed under Swiss’ hand on his cock, sensitive and overwhelming after being used. His fist took up most of it, cute and sticky, flushed a deep red. It didn’t take much, just a couple strokes before phantom came along his torso with a pained whimper.

“There you go baby, my sweet lovebug”