#when i tell you i cried laughing
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sally: *trying to explain to percy why he’s special*
percy:
percy: you fell in love w jesus??
#when i tell you i cried laughing#percy jackson#pjo#walker scobell#percy jackson tv show#sally jackson#pjo show#pjo series
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New Spring read-through: 80% mark
*caution* spoilers ahead!
I'm hoping to make a longer post about New Spring, but for now, I just want to say that it is a true delight to witness baby Mo just being absolutely baby. She is every bit the young adult trying to put on a performance of competence, confidence, and calm, and we know that that eventually hardens into something resembling the truth, but we also know that that (metaphorical) mask she wears continues to cover up a maelstrom of self-doubt even into her older years.
The person who sees through it best is, of course, Lan, who is her age but already a more reserved and careful presence than she, and she hates that about him! Which brings out this totally childish side to her, and makes the disparity worse. Idk. I love seeing her through Lan's eyes in those early days, knowing that such a strong foundation of respect and trust will eventually be built between them. He sees everything about her that she will one day successfully hide. That she already successfully hides, for the most part. He sees the bratty, insecure, wilful, scared, and frustrated kid who has no idea, really, what she's gotten herself into. It makes me love them both even more than I already did, and I already loved them so much :')
#wot book spoilers#new spring#moiraine damodred#lan mandragoran#new spring spoilers#he will meet the wasps in perfect health#when i tell you i cried laughing#baby mo you idiot#you loveable little fool
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you’re not aromantic unless you emit a pleasant and distinctive smell, actually. sorry, i don’t make the rules
#aromantic#my friend just told me that apparently when i first came out to her she didn’t know what being aro was#and she thought i was saying i was aromatic#but she didn’t wanna be disrespectful so she just congratulated me anyway even though she was confused as hell#when i tell you i cried laughing
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Me, looking for a word while writing: Y’all, what do you call the part of the plane you sit in? Like the opposite of the cockpit?
My friend: The vagpit
Me:
Them: The pussypit, if you will
#when I tell you I cried laughing#might put pussypit into my latest fic#seriously what do you call the part of an airplane that people jump out of#the drop chamber?#bc you parachute into a drop zone?#idk help
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art credit @/linkeduniverse
Poor Hyrule is just straight up not having a good day 😔
#at least he got that rupee#maybe he can buy a new boomerang with that /hj#when I tell you I cried laughing when the boomerangs got stuck 😭#bless their hearts omg#I love them sm 😭#lu hyrule#lu legend#lu sky#lu update spoilers#lu#linked universe
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Grey
Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Synopsis: Steve gets a wake up call from yall's daughter
Contents: talks of aging, kids being kids, references to smut but nothing explicit
Steve groans as his consciousness comes to. Something is hitting his face. Someone. Repeatedly.
Steve squints his bleary eyes open as a hand smacks him in the jaw again. A small smile appears on his face even though his jaw stings from the impact. "Morning," Steve's voice is still thick with sleep as he turns to look into brown eyes barely peeking over the edge of the bed.
A quiet voice repeats back ,"Morning," to Steve before arms reach up over the edge of the bed to try and grasp something. Small hands grab the blanket and tug it off of him slightly as the child attempts to climb up. At two and half, Amelia Joy Harrington can barely see above the edge of her parents' bed, let alone get on it.
Steve hoists Amelia up and sits her on his stomach. Steve winces as Amelia scrambles, a stray foot hitting his thigh precariously close to his crotch. Arms are thrown around his neck in a hug as Amelia lays her head against her dad's chest.
Steve feels like his heart could burst out of his chest from the joy he is feeling. A hug from his baby? The best way to wake up in the morning. Who cares if his jaw is still stinging and probably red, his little girl loves him.
Steve sighs in contentment. Steve holds his daughter close until she starts to fidget and wiggle. Amelia sits up and throws her hands in the air. "Happy Birthday!" She whispers excitedly, except she has no concept of how quiet a whisper should actually be and says it in a much too loud voice.
"What?" Steve asks, hand hovering near Amelia's side in case she slips. Amelia's eyebrows furrow as she pouts at him, a look that is an exact copy of you. Her arms slowly lower as she stares at Steve. "Happy Birthday. You old." Amelia pouts at him.
Steve blinks at Amelia in confusion but nods his head. First off, rude, he isn't that old. Steve isn't sure where she gets her unfiltered, blunt commentary (it absolutely isn't him). Second, it absolutely isn't his birthday. Not even close.
"Why uh...why is it my birthday?" Steve asks, unsure if Amelia fully understands the concept. Not sure if he can explain the idea of a birthday to a two (and a half) year old. "Grey." Amelia declares giving Steve whiplash. Before Steve can speak, Amelia points at the comforter," Blue." Steve smiles," Yes, blue."
Amelia points to her shirt," Green." Steve nods. Amelia taps under Steve's eye, lashes brushing against her finger causing him to close it. Steve hopes she doesn't attempt to actually poke his eye.
"Brown." Amelia declares. "Thats right." Steve grins, his girl is so smart. Amelia points to his temple," Grey." "That's ri- what?! No!" Steve's mouth drops open as Amelia giggles. "Uncle Dustbin says grey is old. Birthday makes old. Happy Birthday!"
The creak of the loose floorboard in the hall notifies Steve of your approach. You peek into the doorway of the room, seeing your two favorite people. One looking aghast and the other giggling at her father's reaction.
"What's going on in here?" You ask, leaning against the doorway. "Grey. Birthday." Amelia announces, like it explains everything. And it does in her little mind.
You hum in response, looking at your husband who seems lost for words. Amelia slides off of Steve and off the bed, Steve guiding her so her feet land on the ground absent-mindedly. He would never let her fall or get hurt. Or you.
Amelia half walks half dances in your direction. A prance in her step, she stops in front of you and grabs your hands. "It's daddy's birthday," She says before headbutting your leg. You chuckle and pat her head as she dances out of the room, in her own little world.
"You lying to my kid again?" You ask once Amelia is gone. Steve sputters as he sits up," I did not- our kid- did not lie." "Uh-huh, sure," you say sarcastically. Steve rolls his eyes at you as he gets up out of bed.
Steve stretches as he rocks on his feet, back cracking, before strolling over to you. "Good morning," Steve mumbles, hand landing on your hip. You hum back as he leans in and kisses you. Soft. Slow. Sweet. Leaving you longing for more as he pulls back.
"Love you," Steve says, fingers running along the waistband of your pants. "I love you too," you want to melt into him. Curl up in his arms and stay in this moment. Let the love and adoration fill the air around you.
"Do I look old?" Steve is the first to break the silence. Your brow furrows in confusion," huh?" "Amelia she," Steve huffs out a laugh," said I have grey hair." You chuckle as you bring a hand up, fingers threading through his hair," You have some but its nice." "Its nice huh?" "Makes you look distinguished. Handsome." You bite your lip and look up at him.
Steve knows that look. Knows it well. It's the look you gave him the first time you moved past just making out. The same look you gave him on your first anniversary. The same look you wore on your wedding night. The same look you gave before Amelia was conceived.
Steve can't help the smirk that spreads across his face. If getting old gives him that look, well, he won't complain.
"What about me?" You ask, batting your lashes. "Beautiful," Steve kisses your cheek," Gorgeous," he kisses the corner of your lips. He continues to alternate between kissing all over your face and praising you.
"My love," Steve whispers before kissing you softly on the lips. You sigh into the kiss, one hand tangling in his hair, the other trying to pull him closer.
A loud crash from the living room has you two pulling back from the sweet moment you stole. "What was that?" You call down the hall. "Nothing!" Amelia yells back, making you sigh but smile. Steve can't help but grin too. His life was a little hectic dealing with a rambunctious child, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. And he thinks, if life is like this, he can manage getting old with you. He wouldn't want it any other way.
#Steve whines to Robin later who just sits there laughing until she cries#Until he points out she's aged too because she has laugh lines from smiling and then she spirals just a bit#He has to hold her hand and tell her its a good thing and she goes on a rant about anti-aging and its harder for women then men#How there's all this extra pressure and Steve is aghast like he isnt dumb he knew there was but he never heard it all verbalized#He comes home and kisses you and gets on his knees and tells you he loves you#He then begs you to let him show you how much he loves you wanting nothing more then to use his tongue on you#I mean why would you not let him#And when you lay in bed cuddling after he thinks again he doesn't mind aging if he's doing it with you#You wake up abruptly in the middle of the night and startle him awake#“Oh my God Amelia is going to go to high school and get a boyfriend” you whine#Steve just mutters an oh God and immediately starts thinking if it would be TOO much to have the nail bat when he speaks to said boyfriend#You both think about it for a long time meanwhile Amelia is asleep in her room with drool running out of her mouth hugging a stuffed animal#Anyways Steve nation we up??? This has been drafted for awhile but not posted but I am inspired#And I saw this and went oh yeah post that#So here it is...for u...on this fine Friday early morning#Jade is talking#steve harrington x reader#Steve harrington x you#Steve Harrington x y/n#Steve Harrington/you#Steve Harrington/reader#steve harrington x female!reader
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y’all i just saw the wild robot 🥹🥲
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They said if you get your feral son a sibling he will calm down, they said there will be peace in Ragnvindr household at last
Crepus was slightly taken aback to say the least. His son never cried before, no matter how badly scratched up he ended up being after playing with his friends. But Crepus quickly learned that if Kaeya showed signs of happiness Diluc would laugh and when Kaeya would tear up (quite spectacularly) Diluc would haul like an injured pup. And if Diluc starts full on ugly crying Kaeya will be there to cry just as loudly (but prettier by far) with him, which would start a vicious cycle of tears and wails. At this point people would start wondering if children are being raised or tortured in the mansion.
Diluc knowing how horrible he looks while crying never cries in public and in the present Kaeya is relieved believing his brother wouldn’t shed a tear if he were to die first. He is wrong
#Pls just look at Diluc and tell me you wouldn’t laugh just like I did while making this#Crepus is having an existential crisis#When they start wailing at night and his half calm home turns into a haunted manor#Also Kaeya cries like a freaking fairy#it’s like beauty and the beast crying edition#diluc ragnvindr#genshin fanart#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#genshin diluc#diluc fanart#diluc#genshin kaeya#kaeya#kaeya fanart#ragbros#kaeya alberich#diluc headcanons#fanart#diluc hcs#kaeya and diluc#kaeya headcanons#berrybros#genshin comic#kaeya ragnvindr#crepus#genshin crepus
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hey! i love your posts! i was wondering if you could possibly do an analysis on the infamous bathroom scene? why does kaz choose this time to get close to inej and help her with her bandages? do you think he went in with the intention to try and give her physical affection or did it just happen? why does he choose to kiss her neck and is there significance to that? no rush, but i’d love to hear your thoughts!
Thanks so much for your question! I know you said I rush but it really has been a long time so I’m so sorry this took forever, but let’s go!
So the bathroom scene begins very specifically parallel with one of the earliest scenes of Six of Crows, when Kaz is washing in his room at the Slat and Inej walks in to deliver him news, and I think this is supposed to give us a sense of finality. It increases the tension, because at this point the reader is very aware that not everyone is necessarily going to survive Kaz's plan and having this echo could therefore look something frighteningly like closure to prepare us for losing one or both of the pair. Now this can be interpreted as a red herring, Leigh Bardugo is the queen of hitting where the mark’s not looking and she feeds us a lot of red herrings to hide her actual foreshadowing (I made a post about it a while ago now but in summary she’s a genius), and this could definitely be an extension of that to draw attention away from Matthias, similarly to how she focuses on the possibility of Matthias losing Nina a lot more than she does Nina losing Matthias, or it could be a hark back to Inej looking at the murals of animals running in circles in Six of Crows, describing them as “destined to chase each other for as long as the Ice Court stood” (or along those lines sorry I don’t have my books with me at the minute) as a metaphor for her and Kaz’s relationship. I think that the cyclical nature of this scene is meant to reference that in order to suggest that actually they have found a way to break the cycle, because they succeeded at the Ice Court, they metaphorically brought it down and so the cycle is broken, and the fact that there are several distinct differences between these parallel scenes enhances that for me.
This scene is only given to us in detail from Kaz's POV, whereas the early scene is from Inej's, and in each case the opposite character is arguably in the more vulnerable appearing position. In the first scene Kaz is shirtless, washing blood off himself, and Inej is actively discomforted by the immodesty of the interaction between them. In the bathroom scene, Inej has removed her tunic and I believe is wearing a tank top, which for her is a massively vulnerable way to be seen because she covers most of her skin all the time - particularly her arms because of her scars from the removal of the Menagerie tattoo. By this point the scars has been removed by Nina when she was high on parem, but that doesn't make Inej's psychological connection to them end and it definitely doesn't decrease her feeling of vulnerability when her skin is on show. There's also the added tension of Inej being injured in this scene. Although both scenes are in the aftermath of danger, the bathroom scene has a far stronger sense of the further danger to come than the earlier one did, since at the time we knew so little of the heist and the plan. Inej's injury solidifies this and makes the danger feel constant and real, as well as intensely increasing her vulnerability in a way that she is very aware of.
The fact that Kaz chooses now to get close to her intensifies this sense of danger and makes the reader very aware that Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel, the man we have witnessed successfully breaking in and out of the Ice Court, cutting out a man's eye, scaring a small child so badly she'll probably need therapy as an adult, murdering, thieving, and being so committed to his plans that he swallowed and regurgitated a set of lockpicks without a second thought, is actually, genuinely terrified that he won't come back from the next stage of his plan. In fact he's so terrified that he has decided to face the only other thing that frightens him, so that if he dies today at least he tried. I'm not sure if he went in with the intention of moving from helping her with the bandages to physical intimacy, because even the bandages alone would be a huge step for him. It's possible that once he'd committed to helping her with the bandages anyway, that he decided to push himself as far as possible in case he never got another chance. Possibly if he'd taken things in smaller steps he would have been able to cope with helping her today, and then know that he could help her again, and maybe one day after that he'll be able to kiss her. But one of the things that makes this moment so beautiful is that this is a snippet of time where Kaz and Inej are the only thing that exist, there is no future and if they try hard enough maybe there can be no past, maybe there can just be the present, there can just be this. Kaz takes these steps now becasue he doesn't see a chance to do it again, and although this does wonders to enhance the importance and the beauty of the scene it is also terrifying as a reader to face the very real possibility of Kaz not coming back.
I’m really glad you mentioned him kissing her neck because I do think it’s possibly symbolic and quite meaningful. Whilst both of them struggle with physical contact to different capacities, it’s important to note that whilst Kaz’s fear of contact has made intimacy a seeming impossibility for him, for Inej it’s intimacy itself that’s the biggest influence on her pain. She struggles with any contact she isn’t prepared for beforehand, but only ever finds it worth explaining when it’s a form of intimacy - “the first time Nina hugged me, I flinched”. Even though Inej consents in the scene and doesn’t, at least not vocally or physically and therefore not to the reader’s knowledge, change her mind, she never initiates anything. I think this is important because it forces Kaz to be the one who handles the initial contact; if she touched him skin-on-skin without him forcing himself to do so first then he probably would have shut down and panicked a lot sooner because he wasn’t in control. But he also shows such an important understanding that Inej also needs some level of control. And that control comes in her decision to return the kiss. If he kissed her lips she would be forced to face the prospect of her worst fear “would she kiss him back? Could she be herself in such a moment or […] a doll in his arms, a girl who would never quite be whole”. (Again, sorry, operating on memory alone for the quotes). By kissing her neck, Kaz is able to create this moment of sensuality without taking control of it any more than he needs to for his own sake, making sure that the choice always remains hers. It also makes me think of when Nina kisses Matthias on the neck whilst searching his pockets for parem, when she says that she didn’t kiss his lips because she would not let the drug take that from her. Leigh Bardugo establishes this kiss on the lips as something powerful early on in the book and it comes into play once again here, with Kaz and Inej acknowledging that kind of connection to be a far more symbolic one for them than an initial contact is. In much the same way that Kaz refused to be the one to mark Inej again, he will not be the one to kiss her lips and create a situation she is unprepared to deal with. Ultimately, he has to be able to touch her skin first, and she has to be able to kiss his lips first.
Ok I wasn't one hundred percent sure how I was going to go about this and then suddenly all of that was on the page, but I think what I'm going to do now is pick some specific quotes or moments from the scene to talk about.
"I don't have the words to thank you" "I'm sure the Suli have a thousand proverbs for such an occasion" "words have not been invented for such an occasion" "if I end up on the gallows you can say something nice over the corpse" - honestly not sure if I have anything to say about this I just love this conversation so damn much
"if that were true my shadow would have put Ketterdam in permananent night" "maybe. or maybe your someone else's shadow" "You mean Pekka" - I feel like I talk about Kaz being Pekka's shadow an awful lot but I am just so obsessed with the idea, they are literary foils but there are also such important distinct differences between them it’s just incredible
“I don’t sell girl into brothels, I don’t con helpless kids out if their money” “look at the floor of the crow club, Kaz,” - okay so of the same vein and again I feel like I talk about it a lot, in fact it’s literally what inspired the entire fic im writing (if you wanna read it all the chapters are tagged under “Maya Olsen oc”) but these lines are so goddamn heartbreaking I will never get over them
“How could she still look at the world that way?” - it’s just really interesting to me to have this direct address of comparison of the way their view has been shaped by their experiences, particularly as I’ve talked a lot about Inej having to come to terms with the idea that what happened to her isn’t just a cruel part of the world but an individual piece of a cruel world especially with seeing the “Rare Spices” billboard using hyper-sexualised Suli women to sell the products (I made a whole post on that too) and yet still she sees hope in the world. A lot of this I think is to do with her faith, because instead of believing that there can be no god or saints or other form of deity because of the cruelty in the world, as Kaz does (it’s confirmed that he prayed as a child but is obviously now very atheistic, though we don’t get a lot of detail about what religion he may or may not have practiced), a big part of Inej’s path to hell by is believing that fate planned this for her so that it would lead her to stopping it from happening to others. I struggle with this idea because it seems to imply that it makes her pain worthy of going through when obviously no-one should ever have to experience such trauma, but there are many different ways of interpreting this and personally I don’t think that Inej believes her Saints did this to her for a reason but that she believes they have found a reason for her to continue after after the fact and given her a cause in order to help her through her experiences. I hope this makes sense it’s starting to feel a bit ramble-y
Oh my god I just wrote loads after that and it didn’t save. Oh my god no I can’t believe it I’ve been writing for so long 😭 ok erm… oh god I’m so annoyed right now I can’t remember everything I wrote and it was so much like I’d nearly got to the end of the chapter doing a quote by quote analysis. Ok I’m going to try and reconstruct what I did but please bare with if this isn’t my best work because usually I write very freely when I do these and just throw whatever comes into my head into the page so cautiously trying to think back to what I said originally might make it come across a bit stilted.
I can’t believe I’ve done this 😭
“The distance between them felt like nothing. It felt like miles” - his internal conflict is so brilliantly written and it’s so heartbreaking; the way this is far too close but it’s much too far away
“Graceful as always. A girl underwater” - again this internal conflict, the way she’s underwater because her movements are fluid but she’s also underwater because to touch her it to drown
“His gloves lay discarded […] they looked like dead animals”
“Maybe he would never get to the Slat. Maybe this would kill him.”
“Inej’s eyes were wide and dark. Lost planets. Black moons” - I will never shut up about the fact that soc starts with Joost wishing Anya had blue eyes instead of brown so they were easier to compliment, and then the two books are absolutely overflowing with Kaz and Inej describing each other’s beautiful brown eyes
“It’s shame that eats men whole. He was drowning it. Drowning in the Ketterdam harbour”
“Even now a boy will smile at me on the street, or Jesper will put his arm around my waist, and I feel I’m going to vanish,” - this is such and important moment, this scene is the most vulnerable and open Inej ever is out loud and I think it’s such a massive concession to her trust in Kaz. I think that, especially because the scene is written from Kaz’s perspective, we get a lot more emphasis on his struggle than on Inej’s and although it’s really important to discuss Kaz I do think that sometimes we tread a thin line of focusing on him at the expense of losing focus on Inej and it’s so massively important to acknowledge both of them. This is also one of the things that I think was the biggest downfall of the way the writing in shadow and bone season 2 treated Inej, although I absolutely adore the show and I think that everything Amita Suman does shows that she understands the character in a deep and beautiful level, I also think it’s so so important to realise that not once in either season does that script actually state that the Menagerie is a brothel. One of my friends who hasn’t read the books didn’t get the full picture of Inej’s backstory until I filled in some small gaps for her because the writing just didn’t do her full justice, and I think that’s really unfortunate not least because it means that to some who hasn’t read the books a lot of Inej’s actions in season 2 would come across as her trying rush Kaz into something he isn’t ready for when that isn’t the situation in the slightest
“The room tilted. He clung to the tether of her voice” - I’ve seen a lot of stuff online about the focus points of contact between grishaverse couples and the way their represented, for example with Malina it’s their hands (the way they hold hands as Alina is grabbed by Volcra and it amplifies her power, the way they reach to intertwine their fingers in the meadow, etc). And most of these label the eyes as Kanej’s focal point of contact, and whilst I agree with that I also think that the voice is a massively underrepresented one, especially from Kaz’s perspective. It’s Inej’s voice that helps him work through his panic attack in soc and it’s Inej’s voice that keeps him afloat now, arguably because it’s a form of connection between them that requires no closeness or input, it just exists and can be relied upon.
“I live in fear that I’ll see one of her… one of my clients on the street. For a long time I thought I recognised them everywhere. But sometimes I think what they did to me wasn’t the worst of it” - okay I want to warn you guys now I wrote a long and in depth analysis on this quote and I was incredibly passionate and very proud of it so I’n really really annoyed it didn’t save, and I’m sorry because my analysis now is probably not going to live up to what I wrote earlier but here we go:
For me, this is a massively important quote and there are two ways to read it. Firstly, that when she refers to “her” Inej means Heleen but edits her words as a continuation of this vulnerability she is forcing herself to share. The second is going to link to something I said a while ago about how we could compare a separation of “Inej” and “The Wraith” to the separation of “Kaz” and “Dirtyhands”, but this is a bit more like the separation of “Rietveld” and “Brekker”. Inej talks a lot about how she would leave her body behind to exist only in her mind, in passages I find particularly reminiscent of passages in The Handmaid’s Tale (although please note soc is not very explicit whereas tht is incredibly explicit). But to take that idea further, I think there are certain hints, and I think this is possibly the biggest one, to imply that one of Inej’s ptsd responses it to actually view herself today as a separate entity from who she was during her indenture, effectively saying ‘yes these things happened to this body but they didn’t happen to this mind so that should make it easier’ to herself, which is massively self-destructive in nature because it almost creates this idea that she needs to get over who she once was and move on, very similar to the way Kaz Brekker represses Kaz Rietveld. Arguably, what she’s saying is the worst of it is this fracturing of the self that has been created by what they put her through and that she cannot seem to escape from. Now obviously I don’t know the intent behind Leigh Bardugo’s words and I want to be very clear that there are different possible interpretations of this, this one in particular does happen to more darkly resonate with her ptsd that does not make it correct or incorrect but I think it’s worth considering, especially when it adds another layer to the parallels between her and Kaz.
Ok I’m not going to write out the full quote because it’s quite long but starting from the line “Tante Heleen wasn’t always cruel” - now I talked about this a bit in my post about a comparison between Inej and Wylan as subsequent to a comparison between Heleen and Van Eck, but very specifically in this passage Inej describes this horrifying, heart-shattering image of the way Heleen attempted to instil something akin to Stockholm Syndrome within the girls at the Menagerie, by forcing them to believe that she was their only hope for survival, that she was kinder to them than anyone else would be, that they had to prove they deserved to stay with her, that any abuse she brought down on them came from a place of some kind of twisted love or care because she had to do this to make them understand, that if they would just be good and if they would just understand then she wouldn’t have to hurt them but they won’t do they are forcing her to do this. It’s so painful and it tells us so much detail about Inej’s experience without actually going into tiny explicit details.
“Feeling regret and release as he broke contact with her skin” - again so brilliantly highlighting his internal conflict
“He could feel the warmth of her on his fingers like fever” - if I had a list of my favourite similes in literature… well it would be very long, but this would be on it!!! The subtlety and yet emphasis on Kaz’s internal conflict is so beautifully written here, with the warmth of her flesh against his creating this sensual atmosphere but the comparison of it to fever, to the illness that killed Jordie and took Kaz to the Reaper’s Barge, adds to the way the reminder of his pain is threaded through every moment even when he isn’t physically suffering a flashback, it’s just constantly present and inescapable
“That rapid pulse fluttering in her throat. Alive. Alive. Alive” - agaiiiiiiiiiiiin with the so brilliantly written internal conflict I will never get over. The entire scene is at war with itself, every sentence at odds with its own content. The sexual tension created in the image of the fast heart rate and the way this makes you feel alive versus the desperate need to keep reminding himself that she is alive and breathing she is not a body on the Reaper’s Barge.
Ohhhhh just the whole description of Kaz saying “after all she’d endured, he was the weak one” and explaining the pain of watching the others able to hold each other, how difficult it is to see Nina hug her and Jesper out his arm around her genuinely makes me want to cry, it resonates so sadly with the scene when they arrive at the Geldrenner and all the others are hugging and so happy to see each other alive, and Nina says that even if Kaz isn’t happy to see them they’re happy to see him, meanwhile Kaz is in a war of self loathing because he so intensely fears that they hate him because they think he hates them but he has no way of expressing himself and it’s just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know?
“He watched that pulse, the evidence of her heart”
The whole passage that follows this moment I can’t explain it any other way than I feel like I’m melting every time I read it. I saw a Tumblr post someone had put on Pinterest recently and if I find it again I’ll put the op username in the comments but it basically said that when a writer can write something that isn’t a sex scene as if it’s a sex scene that it’s kind of magical and I think in a lot of ways this resonates massively with this scene
Ugh and then I want to cry again when he can’t cope and the I ability to express himself becomes anger and becomes descriptions of violence. This is the only time we get a full feel for the absolute unending mess of Kaz’s theist for revenge; it’s never enough, not the banks, not the attorneys, not the man from the cafe, not the boy who lured them in, not Margit, not Saskia, and Pekka Rollins won’t be. I always wonder if it’s important that we’re never told what he did to Saskia. We know that the roper was tortured and left dead with “the key to a wind up dog shoved down his throat” so we know Kaz exercises some kind of poetic justice in his violence, and we see that in his revenge against Rollins too. Maybe he strangled her with a red hair ribbon. Maybe he never actually hurt her. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to.
“You don’t ask for forgiveness Kaz. You earn it,” “and is that what you intend to do? By hunting slavers?” “By hunting slavers” - maybe it’s just because of the intonation choice on my audiobook (which btw is awesome shout out to the narrators of the audiobook love you guys) but this to me comes across as Kaz attempting to mock Inej in his harried, terrified, clearly losing control state and her so calmly standing her ground and standing by what she believes in
“His eyes scanned her face […] snatching at the pieces of her like the thief he was”
“But if he was going to die today maybe the one thing he’d earned was the memory of her, brighter than anything he would ever have a right to, to take with him to the other side.”
The way the last moments of the scene include him putting back in the gloves, reconstructing the armour
“He might as well go to meet his death in style” - this is gonna be out of tune with everything else I’ve said but damn what an icon love this line
“Whatever happens to me, survive this city. Get your ship, have your vengeance, carve your name into their bones, but survive this mess I’ve gotten us into.” - I may simply ✨cease to exist✨. But genuinely I’ve mentioned several times before about how the city of Ketterdam almost becomes it’s own character as the antagonist because ultimately it’s the system, not any individual, that has to be defeated and I think this quote highlights it so well. There are individual people that have to be dealt with and deserve everything that will be brought done upon them, but it’s the city itself that you have to watch out for or it will swallow you whole
I’m not going to go into detail about their tells because I’ve made a post devoted to them before and good lord this post is getting long, but I just want to emphasise that it’s a brilliant passage
“If you’ve ever cared about me at all, don’t follow” - I just absolutely adore that the next chapter starts with Inej following him mimicking these exact words I love her so damn much it makes giggle every time
“Inej was wrong about one thing. He knew exactly what he intended to leave behind when was gone: Damage” - *collapses* God I adore this there are no words
Ok wow if you made it this far thank you so much for reading this honestly I’m very impressed that you did because this is long. There are definitely details that I’ve lost because I had to require so much of it, which is a real shame but there’s still a lot to talk about here and I’ve written so much is possibly best for the sake of all our sanity’s that there isn’t more. Sorry I took so long to respond to your question but thank you so so much for asking it, I hope you all like this and that it at least made some sense because as I’ve said before these things often make more sense in my own head than they do on paper. Thanks for reading 💖
#this may actually be *too* long#is there a point when it becomes unreasonable?#I was going to make a joke about my Roman Empire but I don’t think any of you needed telling that it was these beautiful novels#they actually just consume me#grishaverse#six of crows#leigh bardugo#crooked kingdom#inej ghafa#kaz brekker#nina zenik#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#matthias helvar#kanej#I’ve been in a very kanej mood recently#live laugh love kanej#kanej has my whole heart#kanej bathroom scene#ck bathroom scene#kanej brainrot#*cries in kanej*#dk's grishaverse asks answered
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Just watched season 2 episode 7 and uh Richie is a comfort character now
#the bear#angie watches the bear#out of all the characters my money was never on him#like marcus? sure sweetie pie#tina? yes she cares for everyone there#fak? hell yeah he makes me laugh#but fucking richie? that surprised#i even cried when he got all that restaurant shit down#like yes richie you are useful and smart don't let anyone tell you otherwise#richie jerimovich
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This was the best episode of Buddy Daddies, you can fight me on this. I don't care.
It gave me everything I could ever want in an episode of this show and then slapped me across the face in the end credits scene.
11/10 would experience again for the first time.
#buddy daddies#buddy daddy spoilers#buddy daddies episode 9#when I tell you I cried over Miri grabbing Rei because the paper said family#and when Rei shouted to cheer for Miri#and when both he and Kazuki were being the Overprotective Dad™ when Miri was doing those gymnastics with that boy#and when Kazuki ugly cried and Miri laughed at him and Rei smiled#and when Rei made onigiri with Miris favourite things in them#and when Kazuki was very much vibing with those moms#and every time Anna-chan appeared kn screen#and and and#BEST EPISODE BEST EPISODE
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#gonna rant about his backstory so id like to give a quick CW for abuse - violence - rape - trauma#NONE of these thoughts are organized so please forgive the ramblingssss.....#ohhh simon the mentally unwell man that you are..... telling a group of children youre held hostage with every brutal thing that hapened 2 u#in a third person pov... and soothing the children in between words with soft pet names and sturdy encourging words#the way you cant even remember most of it until the consequences of it wrack your mind and body#i genuinely am so devastated for him when he laughs at women's corpses#which is a direct result of his father forcing him to laugh at the corpse of a prostiute he assaulted and murdered in front of simon#and god. when simon talks to his father in that hospital room and he has that memory forcibly unlocked#slinging his addict brother's arm over his shoulder. promising hes gonna get him out of this. “that's a good boy”#and i genuinely am gonna be haunted for like. ever. by that void look on his face when he was being raped by Roba's men and women#the story is incredibly disorienting which i personally perceive as a direct representation of simon's mind#he can't hardly keep his thoughts straight. cant always place what happened when#and definitely cant remember what was a nightmare or hallucination or something he actually went though or had to do#and he is so utterly genuinely convinced hes dead. hes dead hes dead hes just a Ghost#because good god. its so much easier to convince yourself you didnt (literally!) dig yourself out of a grave#then to even attempt to process all the horrible horrible terrifying shit that you were out through#cries. cries thinking about how sweet of a man he actually is.#cries. cries thinking about that woman in the bar touching him after he politely told her no and his outburst after#CRIES. cries thinking about Roba tearing him to shreds over and fucking over to rebuild him in his own sick vision. literally and mentally.#fuck. and all that... he tells the two guys trying to rescue him to go so they dont get caught. tell them so calmly#as if he hasnt been tormented for how fuckin long by now?#and when he finally DID escape after being buried alive and digging himself out with the fucking jawbone of the corpse in the coffin#for what... half a day? it took half a goddamn day#and he still kept going. walked until. he literally couldnt#shaking simon so gently by the shoulders... does that sound like a man who is dead?#i literally have to stop talking or i will keep going on and on good lord. ty for coming to my devastating ted talk#Call of Duty#Simon Riley#[ RJ ]
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I just want it known that in the most ironic shit ever, I have found another reindeer to adore. May I introduce the precious bean Tony Tony Chopper:
I am 2-0 for reindeer side characters 😂🤷🏼♀️
#when I tell you I CRIED laughing when I realized#fuckinng hilarious#Tony Tony chopper is my baby and I love him#and I’ll fight anyone who touches him on GOD#he’s also voiced by the fucking voice actor who does pickachu#so yeah#A D O R A B L E
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guys I just watched Rough Magic. I’m about to make it everyone’s problem
#WHEN I TELL YOU I FELL IN LOVE WITH RUSSELL ALL OVER AGAIN#just like it was the first time#i felt like a giddy teenager#don’t laugh when i say i literally cried once#100% not exaggerating he left me BREATHLESS#i felt like i was going to have a heart attack#no one warned me#no one told me that alex ross is not just unbelievably young and handsome#but he’s also sweet and charming and funny and witty and caring and compassionate#and alluring and nervous and protective and smart and passionate and kind-hearted and polite#and so easily swept off his feet#and SO ROMANTIC#I AM SWOONING#y’all are going to hear about alex ross for awhile#was the movie good? not particularly#did i have a good time watching it?#I HAD THE BEST TIME#i had a bad week and this movie fixed all my problems#his new york accent??? his funky 90s haircut??? his white undershirt???#I AM A DEAD WOMAN#the dance scene and the kissing scene sent me into orbit#i was shaking it shook me so hard#when i tell you i am ACHING for him#russell crowe has ruined my whole life#there will NEVER be a man like him#NEVER#i am so swept up by him tonight i just#i’m going to bed now but tomorrow it’s OVER for y’all#rough magic madness starts NOW#rough magic
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sometimes i do wonder what little gremlin is hanging out of their window shaking their fists going "THEY WOULD NOT FUCKING BE FRIENDS!" about aizawa and nishiki when they come across my posts 😭
#it kinda makes me laugh when i think about it#because EXACTLY but that's precisely why you're WRRONNGGG#yall don't know what I know tbh#aizawa has braided little sunflowers in nishiki's hair#nishiki has taken aizawa out for long late night drives through the country with the windows down talkin bout life#they've literally fought each other for their literal lives and cried on the bloody snotty floor about it#they literally saved each other's lives after#they go to the gym together every evening around 5pm and if they cant they make up for it in the am at 6#they go fishing together the 3rd sunday of every other month#they shop together#they run a business together#-they share a lover together 💕- who said that?#they're the koisties!!!!!!!!!!!!#you gotta be there to understand#only one of these is a lie#i won't tell you which
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#found a letter i wrote to my “18 year old self” when i was 10#god 10 year old me was so full of life#so ready to do things#she was obsessed with getting her way and working for it#now someone tells me to do hard work and i just. stop breathing#and ive fulfilled little me's wish of getting into BHU and still being friends with my childhood friends#but the last line. the last fucking line.#“its ok if you dont do any of that as long as you are happy and mumma and papa love you and are proud of you”#WHAT IF I CRIED#happy? mumma proud of me? what are those but little whims#mere fantasies that can never be fulfilled#10 year old shanti wished for something and did everything in her power to achieve it#she knew she wasnt talented and said “ok then hardwork it is”#19 year old shanti is tired. exhausted. done.#i know im not talented and i'll only get my way through hardwork. and i dont. fucking. want to.#is it even worth it?#im not even as happy as i thought id be#i want to be 10#i want to run around with scraped knees#to drink glucon-D and laugh with my friends about fart jokes#i want to reverse time#i want my mother to look at me with love#i want her to stroke my hair and feed me my favourite meal and tell me its ok if im mediocre#10 year old me had her fucking shit together and didnt know it#“i love you older me. you're amazing”#thank you younger me. i hope you. atleast. are proud of me.#shanti ki ashanti suno
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