#that's what everybody else does
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today's mood
#horrortale papyrus#i wrote a long post but you know. maybe i should try that thing#where you don't vomit words and feelings all over the place#that's what everybody else does#but i love being me and i like throwing tantrums in the open. why hide it#look at me I'm sad. except i always feel better after writing it out#hi. sorry i said I'd be gone and then i came back. it will happen again.#still haven't decided about August though. i an getting conflicting advice about internet situation.#this wasn't today's mood but actually a different day's mood. just clarifying
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the cognitive dissonance from people who want the products of modern medicine but get weird about animal research. like im sorry but this is necessary for the survival of the society we currently live in. and the scientists who work on these things are not evil cackling psychopaths. anyone you talk to in animal research has incredibly complex feelings about their work and incredibly complex relationships to the animals in their care. there are regulations and oversight and penalties in place to make the work as humane as possible and scientists are overwhelmingly the ones enforcing and advocating for better care.
#i work with invertebrates so nobody cares about what i do but literally everybody else in my building does mice/dogs/primates#science#biology#research#animal testing
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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yes he’s my comfort guy but also he’s my weird silly guy he’s my hot rockstar guy he’s my inspiration guy he’s my very special guy he’s my everything guy
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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I love your Mighty, Ray, and Trip team art! I always used to pair Mighty and Ray with Honey in my mind for a Heroes-esque team, but now that Trip's here, I'm at a loss over who she'd be teamed with these days. Any ideas? I could maybe see her being teamed with Fang, Bean, and Bark as a counter to Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy, but for a Heroes team arrangement... if Sticks and Cream are Amy's team, then Honey and Big...? I can't think of a Flight character though...
Bear with me, I had to think how I characterize Honey the Cat?? So I based this largely off Archie’s take, but this popular influencer is founder and CEO of Honey Brand Clothes and accessories:
But how does she relate to Sonic?? As an agile fighter Honey will take matters into her own hands, and often runs into him and the gang:
WITH ALL THIS IN MIND, putting her on Fang, Bean and Bark’s team (for the sake of her company!) would be an interesting pairing to me 😇 But I can see her doing her own thing too kinda like Rouge 👀
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when i get too far into my headcanons that i forget i’m the only person in the world who thinks that benoit blanc of knives out fame is the estranged gay uncle (first cousin once removed) of bernard dowd of dc robin boyfriend fame
#it’s me and my unpublished knives out x batfam fanfiction against the world……#me: why does nobody talk about bernard and blanc’s teatime in blanc’s metropolis apartment??? what about bernard’s issues with nj transit!!!#everybody else: wtf are they talking about#me: nobody cares that benoit blanc once helped clark kent with a case :(#benoit blanc#bernard dowd#timbern#dc#batfam
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It's just... odd to me, I suppose, going from "what is in my pants is completely irrelevant to most anybody else's life" to the expectation that you must be completely open, essentially, about what is in your pants.
I think a lot of people understand the general idea of why it's bad decorum to demand people offer explanations for private information like this, but they don't analyze exactly why it's bad besides, "asking directly is just rude" and not "asking in any way still enforces the often violent nature of gender and sex, and putting people in the 'right box' is a part of that violence."
It's especially odd when seeing other trans people enforcing the idea that "what's in your pants?" is a genuine, good-faith basis for interacting with others.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#what i mean by the last paragraph is... WHY does it matter?#if i lied to you right now about what is in my pants... how would you know OR how would you change how i am treated by you?#and also. i would absolutely rather lie about my *own* body than be put in danger because it is a trans body#if worse comes to worst i genuinely don't care if somebody is mildly insulted that i didn't 'trust them' enough with that information#it's just weird to see people go from 'only tell doctors that info; it hardly matters outside that!' to...#...'you need to tell ANYbody - even in social and platonic situations where you don't think it matters'...#...can you see how believing in the fundamental idea (that your sex and to extent gender is not your own and belongs to everybody else)...#...doesn't really mesh well with the idea that trans people should be able to live an autonomous life wherein their information is *theirs*#and can you see how for people who aren't trans but have an 'its complicated' with the broad 'what's in your pants?' would ALSO be hurt?#because even if you don't word it as such you still present the fundamental idea that - again - your sex and gender are required informatio#and that it must be judged to be 'accurate' so others can place you in whatever direction they want to treat you with#anyway lying about this shit isn't Inherently Evil and the idea that it's like. a boogeyman is weird actually
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I swear to shit if I see one more person calling Charlie Morningstar a boring flat character i'm throwing hands
#she literally has had her own goal since the pilot#a goal SHE thought of by the way#not her father#not Alastor#not Angel Dust#not somebody else in the hotel or some random sinner on the street#she's made fun of for believing in her dreams constantly#everybody always doubts that Charlie's ideas are going to work even Vaggie and Lucifer#but does she let that stop her? no#she wouldn't take any of Adam's bullshit#her redemption plan ends up not being in vain when Sir Pentious goes to heaven#she defends the hotel in the finale and it was her idea because she's not letting her dream redeeming be all for nothing#she wasn't afraid to call the angels out on their hypocrisy along with Emily#and btw this show isn't even close to being done#protagonist usually start developing two or three seasons later after the first so why should Charlie be an exception?#give her a chance guys#charlie is a good main character and screw anyone who says otherwise#she's the protagonist for a reason#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#bad takes#hot takes#seriously are we watching the same show?#forgot to mention she also called Valentino out because he was abusing Angel Dust which exactly what got Angel to start respecting her
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Y’know I think all of Char’s divorces could be explained by him being aroallo and trying his best to be alloallo because he doesn’t realize he’s aroallo. But also I’m not sure the world is ready for rep like that
#because like. it’s an extension of his he tries to conform to people’s beliefs thoughts on who he should be#so at military school everyone thinks he and Garma should be a power couple. so he does his best to be that kind of boyfriend with Garma#and then the aristocracy thinks he should have an awkwardly younger bride that he marries for political power. so he seduces Haman#and then Reccoa thinks he should be a domineering presence in her life but at this point it’s been YEARS and he can’t keep up the act any#longer because he DOESN’T feel that way!#and nobody really expects him and Amuro to have a relationship so what they have both isn’t romantic and is more genuine than any other#relationship Char had! but he’s already burnt himself out so horribly trying to be who everybody wants him to be. so he goes and he makes#his own faction so that he’ll be able to have death by Amuro#but like. it’s too easy to read that as “oh aroallo people are evil and manipulative about their relationships’’ instead of “Char Aznable#is always trying to play the part someone else wrote for him and that causes massive tragedy when he reaches spots where he CAN’T play that#part because he doesn’t have those feelings and a lot of pain would’ve been solved if he hadn’t had to act like he did have them’’#this I say#mobile suit gundam#char aznable#meta#<- I guess?#oh damn I made a typo in that first tag. how he not his he
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Carmen Berzatto ranking extremely high on the list of characters that I adore and relate to does not affect the fact that I LOVE every single time Sydney tells him off for literally anything. Yeah girl get his ass.
#see everyone else also tells Carmy off constantly#but it's different when Syd does it#i don't have coherent words to explain it at all but you know#it's like#everyone in that family chews each other out all the time because that's their dynamic#that's what they do#but when Syd confronts Carmy about something#it's because she can see through him like glass#and whatever it is they've got going on between them#platonic romantic soulmate-ism whatever#that's what fuels her to push him#she's coming at him from a completely different angle than everybody else#and i'm not saying this in a way that boils down to 'oh it's different because she loves him and the rest of them don't'#i'm not saying that at all#she has a completely different perspective on him than the members of his family do#and in some ways that allows her to see him clearer#to her he exists in a very specific context and in the place where he is most himself#she doesn't have to look through the lense of a familial relationship to see him#she looks at him through the lense of their partnership#and because she is who she is and he respects her for it#she's not shy about calling his bullshit when she sees it#not because she wants to tear him down#but because she wants to push him up#anyways they make me insane#the bear#the bear season 3#carmy berzatto#sydney adamu#carmy x sydney
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every time i check the black sails tag it’s just people saying things that are technically true, but that’s as far as they take it?? What about the ritual sacrifice? the symbolic goat deaths? the murder rope?? zombie house???? we used to have fun on here…
#the people have forgotten that the cellar door is an open throat and i - for one - think that this is a shame#not that i don’t say unoriginal things ALL the time…#but i also have a very specific determination to say things that no one else is saying#which is why i’ve never had any interest in deep-diving into silver and flint’s relationship#cuz that’s what EVERYBODY does#there wasn’t any need for me there#MY job was to fixate on the most random shit imaginable and make incomprehensible posts about it - clearly#BEGGING y’all to read violence and the sacred and get a little freakier with your meta
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@undergaster I love him. I would die for him. I want a 300k word fic about him by midnight tonight. I’m going insane thinking about him.
#does he have a personality of his own or is it just bee and wasp shoving back and forth for control?#we may never know.#team prime takes him in because he’s BUMBLEBEE (sort of) and like. what else can they do#ratchet is trying to study whatever freaky cybertronian artifact caused this#while everybody else has no IDEA how to react to this double minibot hurricane#he’s caught between familiarity and safety from being in team prime’s base#and the fact that half of him hasn’t felt safe in a few hundred years#I’m spinning him in my mind like a gas station hot dog.#I want to hug him. I want to study him. lovingly#my art#tf#tfa#transformers#transformers animated#maccadam#bumblebee#tfa bumblebee#wasp#tfa wasp
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ok Twilight fam time to do what we do best: ignore canon
#eclipse read#Maria is a bad bitch queen supreme AND a soft wittl kitten AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE SHE HAS DARK SKIN & IS PROUD OF IT#and she doesn't have 'clearly Mexican features' because what the fuck does that even mean#happy loving maría hours everybody#maría my beloved#truly the best character of the saga
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How do you feel about Orym's deal with Morri?
There was something kind of funny about Liam getting increasingly obvious - 'ORYM HAS DARK VINES IN HIS VEINS. YOU CAN ALL SEE THIS.' and it still going unacknowledged, but now it just feels like a damp squib. (to me at least)
anon i had no fucking idea what a damp squib was. i thought you mispelled squid. it makes perfect sense now that i've looked it up-you damn british-and i agree but i was SO confused about what squids had to do with any of this
anyways, onto the actual answer-yeah. it's a shame, because its one of the most interesting decisions Orym has made, and maybe the most interesting one that has managed to stick around and inform the character, but. it's been treated so underwhelmingly so far that its hard not to think about it as such.
and i don't blame the other hells at all, really. they were on the moon! and then FCG died and who knew if Orym's deal was relevant any longer! one of their own spontaneously learning to teleport is just an average tuesday for them! (as i've joked before, they might just think its ashari shit! [FCG voice] he's doing it! his aramante!)
as someone who's been playing a similarly reticent and repressed character for the last year and a half in a weekly COfD game, one thing i quickly learned is that if you sit back and wait for the other pcs to ask, you might be waiting a really long time. if you're waiting for the other pcs not just to ask but to push and prod over your continued avoidance, you might be waiting forever. the other players are fallible, and probably don't know your character as well as you, and have their own characters as well as a billion other things to focus on. they may be too wrapped up in their own problems or the problems of the pcs who already shared to (or might simply be playing a character that would not) ask about yours.
take the confession during swordgate: it was in the middle of a tense situation where one of the party members (Laudna) was in clear emotional distress, two of them (Imogen and Ashton) were completely focused on her, and two of them (Dorian and Braius) didn't know what Orym even meant by it or that it was a secret up to that point. that left Fearne and Chetney, and Chetney may or may not have been asleep at the time. so that leaves Fearne. she clearly clocked it and has the most reason to care, but Fearne is honestly even more emotionally repressed and avoidant than Orym, and with all due respect to Ashley, she is not who i would rely on for "initiating rp conversations" and "remembering things."
(Also Fearne tried to check on Orym earlier that day and this was his response, so like.)
TTRPGS are collaborative, yeah, but i would argue that part of that is not leaving the responsibility of your own character’s development largely to the other players. Or if you do, accepting that you might be playing a character whose vivid inner life remains entirely hidden, and also that that might not be as interesting to the other players as the things they can readily interact with. Which makes it less likely for them to follow up on it, and so on, until "sold the rest of my life to a hag to protect everyone" kind of feels like a damp squib.
#also this is just a normal level of self-sacrifice for the hells. orym specifically has made it clear he will die for this cause#its not a coincidence that the characters who have had the most growth in this campaign so far-ashton laudna and fcg#are the ones most willing to make their problems everybody else's problems. which is what caleb did! and vax had vex#but orym does not have someone willing to push him on shit and they're all so busy putting out each other's fires anyways#that its easy to forget the guy who has only set one secret fire that only he's getting burnt by#obviously this is not me saying i am a better rper than liam or whatever i am just familiar with the struggles of this type of pc#its a very hard balance to strike! and i have the benefit of a much smaller table and a system with much more incentive for rp#crposting#asks#anonymous#long post
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behold: my second least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.
(it's a little less transparent why this time so I'll explain my thoughts under the cut)
So why do I not like this?
In so many words: because if you remove it, the scene still works, but you lose the moral certainty of what is going on.
This single sentence does so much legwork for the entire game (the kind I dislike), to the point where I'm about 60% sure it's the product of a rework that realized how ambiguous Rauru's position was as the Good Rightful King and needed to nervously reassure the players that Ganondorf Is and Always Was the Invader, Actually.
(no matter that it leaves the gerudos in this awkward in-between state of both invaders and victims, while never dwelling in the specifics of their history and their own agency in the entire thing; brushed off as a sin they have to expiate through loyalty to the winners of that particular strife, but without explicitely blaming them either to avoid the implications of what that would have looked like)
If you remove it, not only do you lose a pretty clunky line that detracts from Ganondorf's intimidating presence (who is he even speaking to? who needs to hear this right now?) that honestly speaks for itself when it comes to his experience with warfare, but also you lose any tension and any mystery regarding why he is attacking in the first place.
You also... kind of rob Ganondorf's motivations of their meaning. "Hyrule will bow down before me" leads to asking... why? What does he want? What does he see in those lands? And what little we get with Rauru and then Link during the final fight begs more questions; why do you prefer hardship to peace? Why do you value strength? What leads you to want to rule a land devoid of survivors, become a king without a kingdom? I don't think we ever get satisfactory answers. If you remove this sentence, on the other hand... Subtextually, it becomes pretty clear that his motivations is that he felt threatened by Rauru's power, which is ripe with subtext and questions about whether this is a legitimate reaction, whether his "no survivor" stance is due to a feeling of betrayal when his own people turned against him post the Demon King shenanigans... I'm not saying it would fix the entire game's writing, far from it, but it would already do *so much more*.
(genuinely, I think he could have stayed completely silent during the Molduga Assault, speaking only in the Show of Fealty before going completely nuts after Sonia's murder, and it would have worked MUCH better in terms of characterization but anyway anyway
EDIT: ALSO!!! that way he wouldn't speak hylian to fellow gerudos, which is weird inherently)
Without this line, the core of the tension between the gerudos and Hyrule comes front in his conversation with Rauru; it allows the cause of his hostility to be Rauru's invitations, that he would have taken as a threat, and would have still made him warlike and domineering without making him cartoonishly flat, because, once again, Rauru is not acting in a particularly more legitimate way when Zelda arrives in Ancient Hyrule; and it would have been... fair to point that out. And make for better characterization for Rauru, and Sonia, and Mineru, and everybody. But the priority was for Hyrule to be pictured as unquestionably holy; always legitimate, always truthful, always beautiful, always just.
Also, and this is more of a nitpick but: why would Ganondorf want Hyrule, specifically, to bow down before him also? Was he at war with the rest of the disparate tribes before, and just carried on his ambitions to the very very newly-founded kingdom as they allied under a new banner? (though it seems to be implies the lands were crawling under monsters in a generic sense, and not Ganondorf's attacks in particular) Why would he even consider Hyrule a legitimate entity worth taking over then, if it is so new, born from the will of a powerful rival, founded by what is basically a stranger to these lands? Why would he covet something so young instead of destroying it and just calling the lands Gerudo Lands II or Grooseland or something?
I don't think any of that was even accounted for, because, beyond everything else: to me, this sentence is so clearly and painfully crammed in here to shield Hyrule from any potential blame and immediately characterize Ganondorf as Bad without having to remove any of the causes that could lead one to side-eye Rauru's little pet project as equally questionable.
Beyond the clumsiness, it is cowardly --and, I think, a little damning.
#totk#totk critical#when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#ganondorf#gerudos#rauru#tl:dr it is cowardly and reveals that nintendo knew about the Implications to some degree#sometimes less is more#really in that case less would have been so much more#it is literally ganondorf's first chronological line#yeah sure it tells you everything about the guy but#it's also such a bold commitment to flatness and self-righteousness that... yeah#and before I hear any “at least Rauru wasn't using force” I mean as far as we know though?#the constructs attack anyone deemed an “invader” on sight one of the things rauru does is to apologize for this#(I reread Rauru's initial dialogue in the Sky Islands and it would have been SO GOOD if any ambiguity would have been allowed)#(like the thing about Constructs mindlessly pursuing their useless tasks forever disquieting him...)#(yeah buddy so true that could uhhh almost be a metaphor for something else regarding purpose and lineage or something wow)#and even if he didn't use force directly the power dynamics and repeated invitations are still undeniably questionnable#like my guy why do you want everybody to kneel down to you what's up with that do we unpack this or#at least ganondorf was like.... born and raised a king (not that it excuses anything but he inherited pre-existing traditions)#so did zelda#she was born in an imperfect system and did whatever she could about it#rauru *crowned himself*#he *made* the system
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