#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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I WAS DOING PROCRASTINATED ENGLISH HOMEWORK AT 10:30 PM AND THIS BATFAM INTERACTION POPPED FULLY FORMED INTO MY BRAIN
Jason, staring down a defeated villain with his helmet off, dramatically monologuing like the theatre kid he is: Death didn't stop me the first time, what made you think you'd be the one to make it stick? Haven't you people learned? You cannot kill me in a way that matters.
Tim, pausing where he's taking down the remaining henchmen: hold on a second. I've heard that line before. did you just- did you just quote a Tumblr post in your takedown monologue?????
Jason, red in the face and blatantly embarassed: I don't know what the FUCK you're talking about, Replacement.
Dick, sweeping in on a grappling hook and knocking out a goon coming up behind Jason: No, he's definitely right. "decay exists as an extant form of life" and all that.
Jason, shoving his guns back into their holsters and walking away while grumbling to himself: and they wonder why I don't come to family dinners
Damian, popping out of the shadows: So long, fungus boy
#IM SORRY THIS JUST WAS DROPPED INTO MY HEAD FULLY COMPLETED#YOU CANT CONVINCE ME THAT JASON WOULDNT THINK THATS THE HARDEST LINE EVER#AND THAT THE REST OF THEM WOULDNT RIP HIM TO FUCKING SHREDS OVER IT#Jason Todd#Dick Grayson#Tim Drake#Damian Wayne#Red Hood#Nightwing#red robin#Robin dc#dc#batfamily#batfam#batman#wayne family adventures#rex's dc journey#rex's greatest hits
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teen being wanda's son has got to utterly piss off agatha in a truly deep, soul cutting way. i mean, not only is wanda the scarlet witch, a being of complete power, the woman that trapped her in a goddamn revolving door of tv tropes for 3 years, but she also cheated her way into keeping her imaginary son.
in agatha's eyes wanda maximoff got everything she's ever wanted, and its not fair. no wonder she immediately turns on the vicious, ice-cold malice towards teen as soon as it clicks into place. not only did she care for him (what a kick in the balls that is), she's also just been taunted with her dead son's voice, while wanda's stands in front of her posturing over morality (of all things, it was absolutely the worst time of all to start yapping about that. agatha's just been told her mother wished she killed her at birth, i really dont think she was up for a chat on ethics)
#as weirdly rushed as that episode felt it was SO good for agatha#god im so looking forward to the complete drop. feel like the rest of agatha's journey is her incandcesant with rage#and maybe she's dropping the pretense of 'caring' since she just straight up murdered alice#do think thats an accident turned purposeful murder#since the salem 7 are ON her ass and survival is her utmost goal#agatha harkness#agatha all along#wiccan
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#‘stop drawing aventurine blushing over nothing’ (DROPS TO MY KNEES) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#★ my art#art#honkai star rail#hsr aventurine#aventio#hsr dr ratio#ratiorine#hsr golden ratio#2.2 comes out at 6 for me ive been tweaking all day sorry if im scaring everybodh#i love drawing over my drawings but it makes that last text completely illegible#Oops?#★ arin rambles#just a little tho.#‘how did he get injured’ doin somethin stupid.#He probably fell in the shower#its just a hc i have that like. hes clumsy#yeah he survived attempting to shoot himself 3 times. but you know what he cant survive? his untied shoelaces#‘his shoes dont even have shoelaces!’ See thats why#cuz he keep trippin
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coming up on the one year anniversary of making this blog y'all ✨🕺I'm gunna try posting a little bit more in the next few weeks <3 for now take this small icky (before the horrors)
look at how peaceful he is
#work has me slammed#itd be fun to cook again though#i have so much art thats literally just finished and unposted#and even MORE art that was just short of completion#i think i might do some asks too#send some my way if ya feelin 😏👉#oh and im about tah drop my redbubble#so keep n eye out for that#htf icks
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caught being down bad in 4k
#this is just a yuusona shitpost#idk im high on weed#i wanna show off my sketch for my latest commission lmfaooooooo#but i also want it to be impactful when it drops after its complete#thats why you gotta squint to see it 😈
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stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir
(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)
But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?
so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me
in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone
and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age
but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind
and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind
(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)
"I just see this place as my home"
so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3
#arknights#asto speaks#not much of an essay writer i just keep thinking about them and i need to force other people to think about them too#thorns story fucks me up bc like. this whole almost found family adjacent idea of like#maybe home isnt something decided by your birth but something you can chose based on what truly matters to you#it just gets to me. i guess.#jordi gets to me in a completely different direction there's nothing personal about it i just find his story *fascinating*#just a guy. a completely normal guy. an absolute nobody caught up in these dreams of greatness while also fully aware of his own normalcy#but never letting either of those overshadow the other. never losing that self awareness or that fuckin obsessive determination#god. what a Character#i love jordi so much like genuinely#i joke a lot about him being just a Guy but thats also kinda like the best thing about him#the fact that he is the way that he is and does all the things he does despite being just a Guy#gently holds#for context i was so hyped about new iberia lore when sn was announced i read the whole thing as soon as it dropped on cn server#cuz someone uploaded all the story sections to bilibili right after it came out#and '我只是把这里当作自己的故乡啊' fucking hit me SO HARD#in like the greater context of elysium demanding to know why hes risking his life in like 5 different ways to return to gran faro#because yeah jordi just doesnt want to leave his home but like we the audience knows the full *weight* of what that home means to him#and the weight of the dreams that made him chose to see Gran Faro as his home and to refuse to let go of that#thats why i like the original a lot more than the translation i think like it really emphasises that active *choice*.#this is the place jordi has *decided* to see as his home and he knows what that means and what it means to him#side note the part on thorns might not actually age well depending on whether hg decides to ever release more aulus lore#i mean i'll gladly take the L if it means more aulus and/or thorns lore like#i just wanna know what (if anything) is tying him to iberia yknow#ak#iberiaposting
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>i join a server for systems
> the rules dictate what my littles can and cannot do "for their own safety because they're literally children"
> i leave
#'all alters under the age of 16 must stay in the section where cursing and topics with any sort of maturity are banner'#what if the 4 year old wants to talk about how she smokes weed to deal with panic attacks and help with insomnia#shes not actually physically 4 you know she can smoke weed#and she swears just as much as everyone else idk why shed have to be protected from adult language#like if your littles do thats fine but why would you assume ALL syskids follow that or feel comfortable following that#my littles feel they CANNOT EXPRESS THEMSELVES AT ALL if they are limited to disney channel appropriate content#and theyre not out here like. making dick jokes or anything but when they get angry they say fuck#and talk about gore and drugs and trauma#besides. i think at least half of the people in the world swear around their kids and they turned out fine#we learned to swear when were 10 and swore often to express ourself as a child#most parents ive met swear around their children. not at mind you just around.#like most parents wont. drop a carrot on a patch of cat fur on the floor. and then go to the other room to quietly mutter FUCK#and they shouldnt have to#irl children shouldnt be completely cut off from swears they should be taught the appropriate time to use them#idk im just sick of people providing syskids with literally less agency than they would an actual IRL child.
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[Image Description: Two unfinished digital paintings / sketches of the hatchling and Hal from outer wilds. they are standing with their arms around each other and the hatchling has their head leaning on hal's shoulder as hal watches the supernova in the distance through the doorway of the museum. the first image is the scene viewed from behind with everything lit in bright blue with dark shadows. the second image shows hal's face looking in fear towards the light and is only partially colored, the rest sketched over a gray background. End Image Description.]
something you'll run back in for when the house burns down
#im going to post something on halloween but also want to post like sketch compilations and unfinished stuff#bc I draw alllll the tiiimeee and theres so much and its just going to get buried in my hard drive if I dont do anything with it#I'm so shy to post this but im in a good mood today so ok you can have the hal post#::) hal.#I wanted to finish these sooo badly and I still want to - it might take me completely reworking it again though :P#im scared this will become one of those pieces where i improve at anatomy more then look back at this one and be like. Gah what was I doing#honestly thats already happened. these are from several months ago#I kept their expression kind of neutral.. both because I dont think I could accurately capture the sheer dumfounded horror.#also because my heart will shatter into many pieces if I draw hal too sad#anyway the caption is a lyric from alone by tresspassers william#the album that song is from is called different stars and its one of my favorite albums ever ever <3 its very somber but I love it#this song doesnt even remind me of these two thaaat much#but theres other songs on the album that do more.. like vapour trail... and anchor oh my god. anchor...#and if you cant steer then it would be safer to drop the anchor 🤔🤔#ok I'm done talking now bye hal fans#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#very early spoilers. lol sub 23 minute spoilers#hal outer wilds#hatchling outer wilds#the hatchling#timber hearth#. I guess?
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my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal
#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical#like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core#these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group#whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang#and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely#they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear#imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like#they just don't react the way you would expect#which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well#the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane#rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn#i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have#and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here#just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other#on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood#but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!!#thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of#glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on#dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes#its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself#which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy#but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week#they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting)#i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i#ada speaks#untagged
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So...The Underworld Saga from Epic is dropping allegedly on April 26th 2024...
That means the full Monster song
What if I just wait for that to come out and just say hey fuck it let me do the entire thing as an Icarus animatic-
[So that means y'all get a different animatic treat teehee, still Epic the Musical tho]
#thats like- 3 weeks of waiting and then add more for the making-#welp im doing it fuck it#i thoughts#i have feelings#with this song for Icarus im doing it#fsmp#fsmpblr#fable smp#fable smp icarus#icarus morningstar#i now just have 2 on the roster to complete yippie#y'all dont even know the second this drops im ranting about it on tumblr
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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gus and ace friendship except its based less on actual friendship and more based on "oh my god the fermins are so fucking oblivious it should actually be scientifically studied." gus has practically proposed to keith like 8 times. mira has had a crush on DAN before even considering she might have feelings for ace. gus knows that keith is emotionally constipated so hes almost coping with it better cuz thats Just What Keith Is Like. ace is attempting to console themselves w the thought process of "if mira can fall in love w dan, her standards might be low enough to fall in love w me. maybe." its not working out for them but its all they've got. they are both suffering immensely.
meanwhile the fermins are in an endless feedback loop of "keith, gus likes youuuuu" "no he doesn't he just sees me as like a friend or something" "ur kidding" "anyway ur one to talk, whats up with you and ace" "wdym??? we're just best friends" "ur kidding"
#its actually tragic god help them#theyre overthinking it like. maybe this is them rejecting us. maybe its never gonna happen.#meanwhile it takes approx 5 years for both mira and keith to be like. wait a minute.#also im a non-binary ace truther. no darkus brawler is cis thats simply the way of the universe. yes that includes barodius.#im not even like a huge mirace enjoyer. i assume thats their ship name. but ace taking the L of losing to dan is hilarious.#i dont ship danmira its just rlly rlly funny from a bullying ace standpoint.#i mean gus and ace dont help themselves bc of their pride and complete inability to be emotionally vulnerable#but still. its so obvious even helios can see it#this was a funny thought in my head so dont take it too seriously#i figure out my log in. drop some art. and then IMMEDIATELY im back on my bullshit
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yay i got an A on that chem exam i was really worried about!!!!!
#pomodoriwhines#i hope the final goes well next week aaaaa#i studied p hard for this test but i just know that the final is going to be difficult. i have flashcards#for now i just gotta get my beautiful presentation done for tomorrow and then i can worry about studying for the chem final#tbh i dont actually need to do that well on it in order to improve my grade. prof is being v nice and letting folks drop their lowest exam#IF their final is higher than any of their other exams. and if its worse than the exams he drops the final instead#so thats v nice of him. theres only 1 exam i completely bombed#the other one i did poorly on was bc of a time limit! nd i still passed it ok. but it was more of a scrape than i usually like lmao
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more photography! this time its a sunrise. i remember catchin a glimpse of the sky through the window while i was pacin in the kitchen and the telltale signs of a beautiful pink mornin and immediately turnin around and runnin to grab my camera before the sun could get over the horizon
that was actually a pretty bad day too. but i got some really dope pictures outta it anyways
#my art#photography#sunrise#its been a bad day!! really bad!! i keep wildly flip floppin between grief and despair and determination and hope and complete and total#numbness. but! i have pretty pictures on my camera roll from a week ago. there was beauty last week and there will be beauty next week#and i wanna see it. so im gonna make it to next week 💪💪#i went out n took more pictures today too so maybe next week ill post those#also ive BEEN drawing its just all practice shit that im embarrassed about. but i have a goofy idea thatd probably be good to do now but!!#anyways thats the post i hope you stay safe remember to never drop your crown but if you do dont worry its bc metal you can just dust it of
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made my mom cry but i got some serious bull shit off my chest oh well happy mothers day
#shes reading this conference talk where this guy says “trust is the basis of all relationships” and she says i dont think thats true bc how#can a mother trust her baby. how can a mother trust a toddler. how can a mother trust an adult child who has lied or turned their life away#from their parents.#and so i asked her do you not trust us kids?#abd she waffled but eventually she said Yesh. like i love you and i know i can trust you for some things but all of you have hurt me so.#and i said Yeah thats natural. i think complete trust is a superhuman quality i dont think i trust anyone 100%#qnd she says Okay so why dont you trust me. What have i ever done to you.#first of all. 😐 you dont want to hear it so dont ask that lol. 2nd you just told me you dont trust me and i didnt react so calm down.#but anyways i just said to her “youre dependable and i know you wont let me down when youve made a commitment to do something.#but i have emotions and thoughts that i do not trust you with.“#and we both started crying but i stood firm and i told her i love her but she just got up and left.#she loves starting convos like that but i do kind of feel bad for dropping thwt on her esp when she like. had to leave soon for an appt#but . i didnt say anything I didnt mean. and i was just responding to her.
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