#that’s the funny part

[sinistersuns]

making pride edits of game of thrones characters is an objectively funny thing to do, nothing wrong with it it’s just really funny to see the most miserable man in existence behind “🌟✨🌈 bisexual (character) icons! 🌈🌟✨” hes also gonna be bi-sected if he doesn’t kill at least 5 babies for the king by sundown

[duchessofostergotlands]

i used to get yours and grace's voices confused in the podcast until i learned you're scottish - the accent wasn't strong enough for me to pick up on my own, but once i found out i could definitely hear it! (and english isn't even my first language, so it's probably a lot more clear to a british person)

You’re not alone! I think it might be a bit clearer if Grace didn’t come from the West Country area. Not to get too detailed but the standard, most well known English accent - the one people mean when they say a “British” accent - notably has a soft r. So you would say buhth-day pah-ty instead of birth-day par-ty. Whereas in Scotland we use a hard r. But Grace is from an area of the country which also has a hard r. It’s a different sound - the West Country accents actually inspired the stereotypical “ooh arrr” pirate voice so it’s a rounder kind of r - but that’s harder to distinguish.

This is good, shows the range of Bristolian accents. You can hear that they do pronounce the r unlike the stereotypical English accent:

But it's also not quite the same as the r I grew up with, if you can hear the difference:

It basically means that Grace and I both speak without heavy regional accents because we're "presenting" but when we do slip into our accents - the thing that should help you tell us apart - we just both happen to come from areas with hard r’s so it doesn’t really help! There are key words that I tend to say in a Scottish accent like weird, mayor, heir, tortoise, sure etc. Or when I’m passionate and excited it’ll come out more. But I wouldn’t blame you for not knowing where I’m from. English people think I’m Scottish, Scottish people think I’m English. I got made fun of a lot for sounding like a Victorian orphan as a child but I basically chose an accent when I learned to speak around lots of English relatives and stubbornly refused to deviate haha.

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[cloroxcasserole]

Being yourself is actually good advice bc by doing that I have a friend group where I can say diabolical things while drawing them and they’ll agree.

[spongebobssquarepants]

[gothamite-rambler]

Duke Thomas gets added to the payroll

Bruce Wayne (seeing Duke walk past his office): Duke.

Duke backwards walked to Bruce’s office.

Duke: Sup?

Bruce: Did you check your bank account? The direct deposit should’ve hit.

Duke: The what? Oh you were serious about that?

Bruce: Of course, you’re not only my son, but you do work for me and you deserve an income.

Duke: Thanks dude, but I can’t take your money I work at the library.

Bruce: Duke, trust me. You deserve this. I do it for all my kids… except Tim.

Duke: Why not Tim?

Bruce: Long story… he owns part of my company, plus he- he definitely embezzled a lot of my funds before I noticed so him working at my company is his paycheck.

Duke (alarmed): That was him?!

Bruce: Yeah, but that’s not important currently. You enjoy your first payhcheck and I’m proud of you.

Duke: Thanks man.

Duke left the office, checking his phone as he walked to his room. He nearly dropped his phone seeing the four digits in his bank account that had five dollars in it three days ago.

Duke (shocked, happy): Three- Three thousand dollars?! Woooooooo! I’m eating good tonight! No wait, game stop here I come!

Duke ran out the house passing by Stephanie and Jason.

Duke: I can finally buy a PlayStation!

Jason: Wait until he finds out it’s a monthly payment.

Stephanie: I’ll tell him later. Want to go tell Tim about it first?

Jason: 100% yes.

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[phantomrose96]

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

[razcascade]

big fan of grian's threatening aura this session

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

I am such a big Werewolf Stan advocate I had to jump on this particular train 🙏 (but I didn't really wanna commit to full line art, you guys understand)

Oh, and you guys aren't gonna believe this, but here's part two 🙌

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

People playing Elden Ring and looking for the "good" demigod to root for are missing the point. Pick your favorite mass murdering war criminal megalomaniac with mommy issues and endlessly simp for them like the rest of us, cowards.

[raspiberry]

How every Chaos and Mel interaction goes.

[etho-appreciation-acct]

congrats to falsesymmetry for becoming The First Woman ever

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues

[podcastwizard]

something interesting about me is that i am so hot and funny and charming and everyone loves me but also i am an unloveable freak of nature. scientists didn't think it was possible but i made it work.