#that’s an abuse of authority
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What? I— what?
Okay, so technically I think I probably already knew this, but this reminded me of something that happened when I was in 1st grade.
So when I was in 1st grade I went to a Montessori school (if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry it’s not important to the story), and had this teacher that I Strongly Disliked for several reasons.
Now, as a reminder, 1st graders are typically 6 or 7. I have fall birthday, so I had a weird situation where I was actually about 5 or 6, depending on the time of year. I actually got held back and repeated 1st grade for several reasons, one of them being the age thing, another being that my older brother was also being held back and my parents didn’t think it was a good idea for us to be in the same grade (also, something I learned later, but apparently my parents didn’t think I was socially mature enough, and thought this would help for some reason). Anywhomst, my story takes place my first round of doing 1st grade, as I had a different teacher for my second round of 1st grade, so I was about 5 or 6.
Now, this happened several times, but I would often get reprimanded for “rolling my eyes.” Now, I’m smol and have always been smol (I’m currently 5’2” on a good day and have long since passed the period of my life where I had any hope of getting any taller. All my siblings will one day be taller than me, and I’m the 2nd oldest of 6 kids), so in order to look at a teacher, who was much taller than me, and was also not crouching down to reach my eye-level (likely due to age— as a 5/6 yr old I thought this teacher was about grandma-age, even if she wasn’t grandma-tempered), I would obviously have to look up. Now, I’m not great with eye contact as is, so this isn’t actually what usually got perceived as “rolling my eyes” but you’d think she’d at least try and factor in the height issue when reprimanding me. As it stands, I am someone who tends to look up when trying to solve or think over something in my head. This is what often got perceived as rolling my eyes. And this confused me greatly, because I didn’t even roll them! I just looked up! And, of course, since I wasn’t rolling my eyes, I thought it important to try and explain that I hadn’t, because I didn’t want any Authority Figure to think I was disrespecting them. Often, before I could even finish explaining, I would then get reprimanded for “talking back”. This, as you can probably imagine, was very frustrating. No matter what I did or said I would get in trouble (I don’t think I ever got any actual disciplinary action taken against me, but being reprimanded is still getting in trouble). And I still tend to look up when I’m thinking something over in my head, but I’ve since learned that if someone wants to interpret a facial expression in a specific way, even if you had no intention of conveying whatever they think they’re reading off of your face, it’s easier to just go along with it. Nothing you do or say is going to convince them that they read you wrong, or they’ll just get embarrassed for reading your expression wrong and then everything is awkward for everyone and you’ll wish you hadn’t said something anyways. The only time I can ever get away with explaining that someone read my expression wrong is when I get to explain to people that I have a “resting sad face.”
At least now I know why people think I’m rolling my eyes even though I’m just thinking.
#what#since when#I’m not diagnosed with autism#or anything other than anxiety and depression#but I’m going to tag it anyways because it’s relevant to the original post#autism#autistic#anywhomst#this teacher also didn’t like that I was a nervous laugher#she thought I was just laughing during Serious Conversations because I wasn’t taking them seriously#she would do the whole ‘do you think this is funny?!’ thing and everything#also once she yelled at me for saying ‘it’s okay’ in response to an apology to forced another kid to give me#idk if she actually yelled but 5/6 yr old me certainly perceived it that way#technically I know why you shouldn’t say ‘it’s okay’ in response to an apology but I was 5/6 and she definitely could have handled it better#also maybe she should have wondered a bit about why the quiet kid was apparently randomly disrespectful#maybe then she’d realize that my laughing was my response to nervousness#and that I wasn’t rolling my eyes or talking back#I had undiagnosed anxiety#I didn’t want anyone to think I was being disrespectful to them#also the ‘don’t talk back’ thing is such bs#like#that’s an abuse of authority#just because you have power over someone doesn’t mean that you’re right all the time#maybe if you let people explain themselves every once in a while you’d be able to understand what’s happening#all you’re teaching them is that no matter what they do they’re wrong#and that they have no voice#well#that’s all#thanks for letting me rant#idk if anyone will ever read this
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Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.
This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.
#ccyy talks#sorry for posting this here but I'm pissed and this shit really needs to stop#For all I know he recorded me too cause I'm young and look healthy but got to go back next#Sorry about your cough buddy but the way things work I was a more immediate emergency#1k#5k#10k#30k#this post clearly has a life of its own now#and in case someone wants to know some clarifications for common points#people in a position of authority/actively hurting someone with the intent to protect/help the person is fine#so cops doctors nurses mental health workers and educators (to name a few) who actively are abusing their power and authority? free game#this post was filming random ass people for Content(tm)#random ass people more so those in distress aren't your content and you do not know the harm you can do to someone by posting that shit#50k
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What are your thoughts on a decepticon prowl?
Oh I'm all for it. But! Only if he's actually a Con. Like. Wholeheartedly.
Not "nnnooo we're doingg a bad thing and I kind of dont wanna do bad thing but I have no choice poor me".
You know how in canon he truly believes he's on the right side and makes everything to ensure that Optimus wins the war? You know how he's willing to make every tough decision so Optimus doesn't have to risk his reputation? You know how he literally makes Autobots look like shiny brave and clean heroes who did nothing wrong ever?
I want all that but the other way around. I want him to do that for Megatron and for the Decepticons. The implications would be so fucking dramatic I could write a whole essay.
Low rank Cons would hate him so fucking bad.
Starscream would try to murder him at least once a day.
Megatron would absolutely treasure him. Autobots would have it r o u g h
Can you imagine
#I saw a bunch of great fics that were “Autobot character but he's a Con AU”#really enjoyed them#I love that kind of AU#but I think I only saw two Decepticon!Prowl fics so far#and they both made him that poor little kind thing that got abused and wronged but secretly a fluffy sad kitten or something#anyway#Just like with Decepticon!Jazz and Decepticon!Ratchet and Hot Rod#I love when authors arent shy about making characters Decepticons#I love it when fic stands proudly with it's concept#yeah he's a Con and he fucking means it#if you know any good fics about Con!Prowl that arent trying to make him look innocent - please feel free to share#the guy murders a lot of people while being an Autobot. You can't convince me he would magically be merciful as a Decepticon haha
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"I have had the capability to pull the strings behind the most powerful thrones in Exandria for some time. And I've only done so towards these ends. I don't wish to control. I don't wish to be a tyrant. I just want them gone."
The irony of this statement is that Ludinus's single-minded obsession with killing the gods is precisely what makes him so controlling and tyrannical. He could have spent this entire time using his extended lifespan to shape the Dwendalian Empire into a glittering jewel of a kingdom, as J'mon Sa Ord has done with Ank'Harel. He could have channeled his negative experiences with authority into offering the people under him the kind of support he wishes he'd received, as Vex has been doing in Whitestone and Emon. He could take five minutes out of his day once in a while to spend some low-level spell slots or short rest resources helping people he crosses paths with, as Trist and Ayden did multiple times during Downfall. Instead, he's stayed focused entirely on himself and his petty personal vendetta.
#if you refuse to ask what it means to wield power responsibly#if you insist that it's impossible to be an authority without being a tyrant#if you believe that power can only ever be abused by those who have it#guess what *you'll* end up doing with any power you yourself have#and if you further insist that powerful people who screw up or give in to temptation should die#then there's no incentive to take responsibility#only incentive to deny or downplay your own power#cr spoilers#critical role#ludinus da'leth
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"New (old) perspectives on self-injurious and aggressive biting" published in Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis / Nine Inch Nails- The Hand that Feeds
I was troubled to see a trend of claiming that Autistic people who do not support Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) are a group of "low-support-needs" autistics who are monopolizing the conversation and taking resources away from autistics with higher support needs—I think it is misunderstanding.
Individual positive or negative experiences with ABA are irrelevant here—the fundamental core of the therapy is behaviorism, the idea that an autistic person can be "treated" by rewarding "desirable" behaviors and punishing "undesirable" behaviors, and that an increase in desirable behaviors and decrease in undesirable behaviors constitutes successful treatment
In researching I found that ABA practitioners have published statements condemning conversion therapy. They refer to an unfortunate historical association between ABA and conversion therapy, but it is not association—ABA literally is conversion therapy; the creator of it used it to try to "cure" little boys that were too feminine.
ABA is considered "medically necessary" treatment for autism and the only "proven" treatment, in that it is proven to create decrease in "undesirable" behaviors and increase in "desirable" behaviors.
Undesirable behaviors for an autistic person might include things like stimming and talking about their interests, desirable behaviors might include eye contact, using verbal speech, playing with toys in the "right" way.
The BCBA behavior analyst code of ethics does not prohibit "aversive" methods (e.g. electric shock) to punish undesirable behaviors
The code of ethics only discusses the consent of the "client," not the person receiving the treatment
Many people will say "my child's ABA therapist would never make them repress harmless stims, give up their interests, use electric shocks...They understand the value of neurodiversity and emphasize the consent of the child..."
But consider...if nothing binds or requires an ABA therapist to treat stimming as important, nor restrains them from using abusive techniques, nor requires them to consider the consent of a person being treated, what protects vulnerable people other than luck? The ABA therapist still has an innately unethical level of power over a child being "treated."
Furthermore, consider: can a therapy built on the goal of controlling the behavior of a person who cannot meaningfully consent to it, especially without hard limits or protections on the kinds of behavior that can be coerced or controlled, ever be ethical?
I found many articles that discuss teaching "compliance" in autistic children, treating "compliance" as a reasonable goal to strive for without qualification...
The abstract of the above article struck me with a spark of inspiration. Biting is an undesirable behavior to be controlled, understandably so, since most would feel that violence should not be allowed. But I was suddenly reminded of the song "The Hand that Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails, which is a play on the saying "Don't bite the hand that feeds you," meaning don't lash out against someone that is kind to you.
But doesn't "the hand that feeds you" implicitly have power over you through being able to give or withhold food? In this case, kindness can be a form of coercion. Thus "biting the hand that feeds" is used in the song as a metaphor for autonomy and resisting coercive power. The speaker asks the audience if they have the courage to test the benevolence of their oppressors, or if they will remain compliant and unquestioning even though they know deep down that it isn't right.
Likewise the article blunders into something unintentionally poetic when it recognizes that biting is an innately possible behavior in response to "aversive" stimuli or the "removal of reinforcers." Reinforcers and aversives in ABA are discussed as tools used by the therapist—the presentation of a preferred food would be a reinforcer, for instance (and is often used as such in ABA).
The journal article considers biting as a behavioral problem, even though the possibility that someone may bite can never be eliminated. Contrastingly, "The Hand that Feeds" highlights the coercive power behind the ability to control your behavior, even when that control appears benevolent and positive, and argues that "biting the hand that feeds you" is not only a possibility but a moral imperative.
Consider: In what circumstances would you bite someone? To defend your own body? To defend your life? Are there circumstances in which biting would be the reasonable and the right action to take?
What authority decides which behaviors are desirable or undesirable, and rewards or punishes compliance or resistance? Who is an authority—your therapist? Your teacher? Your caregiver? Any adult? Any person with the power to reward or punish?
In what circumstances might compliance be demanded of you? In what circumstances would it be justifiable not to comply? What authority decides which circumstances are justifiable?
Can you imagine a circumstance where it might be important for a child to not comply with the demands of an adult? For a citizen to not comply with the demands of a government? Which authorities demand compliance in a right and just manner, and which demand compliance to things that are evil and wrong? Which authority has the power to differentiate the two? Should you trust them? Will you bite the hand that feeds you?/Will you stay down on your knees?
#analysis#power#authority#aba#applied behavior analysis#aba tw#abuse tw#nine inch nails#music#psychology#autism#actually autistic#psych critical
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sometimes I hate how casually this fandom treats the idea of nightmare filling killers soul with negativity.
#utmv#sans au#sans aus#utmv fandom#killer sans#killer!sans#nightmare sans#nightmare!sans#I’ve read so many fanfics where nightmare casually abuses & emotionally conditions killer#and yet the readers and author don’t seem to realize that’s what they’re doing#especially during fics where ppl seem to think nightmare takes and gives away killer’s emotions#and he needs nightmare for that.#cw abuse#cw conditioning#cw manipulation#cw emotional abuse#cw emotional manipulation
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You've been kidnapped by the local butcher and he convinces you he's going to fucking eat you.
Dark!Ghost x fat fem reader drabble
CWs: rape, dehumanization, gaslighting, bondage, undiscussed kink(?), animal play(?), threats and talk of cannibalism but no actual cannibalism. The details are gone into extensively, but it’s all a game to Ghost and he never intends to follow through on any of the threats.
(A tidied up and extended ramble I subjected @391780 to on anon. Inspired directly from their post where Butcher!Simon draws a diagram of beef cuts on you.)
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It’s pretty immediately obvious he’s a murderer. He’s probably a serial killer for all you know.
In reality, Simon doesn’t consider himself a serial killer, despite his body count. He’s just someone who doesn’t have qualms dealing with nuisances. He’s a retired vet, after you’d killed enough people, what’s a few more?
No, his kills were just business, practical. They were men who made the mistake of getting in his way, of being inconvenient. Most, anyway—there’s at least one or two whose only crime was being an especially annoying cunt. Sometimes, some people “jus’ need killin’”.
As a butcher, he does find the implication funny, but no, he’s not eaten any of the scum he’s off’ed. “Don’t serve ‘em up to customers, neither”. After all, Simon’s got far higher standards than that. They weren’t even fit for dog food and he has a reputation to uphold. No one can compete with his quality.
No, you’re nothing like them. You’re special.
Never in his life had he seen a prettier creature—and you’re absolutely prime. He’s salivating just looking at you, plump and oh so soft. He can see it in the way your skin wobbles gently as you move about. Simon couldn't find a straight line on you. And he’s looked. He’s been transfixed watching you, aching.
You live your life meandering obliviously, no brand in sight, not even a tag on your ear. He's surprised no one else snatched you up. Poor thing left to fend for itself ‘s cruel. Nothing else to it.
Wrangling you was simple, it’s not like your large form actually offered you anything towards your defense. It was easy, really. Your lack of instincts was staggering, it was even more shocking that you lasted this long, he almost couldn’t stop himself from laughing.
You were clueless to the danger, even when it was directly in front of you, it only endeared you to him. Your eyes roved over him, not paying him any mind, just carrying on about your undoubtedly inane business. Only when he was on you and it was too late did you start to kick up a fuss.
The look of panic on your face was just priceless. All this crying and babbling nonsense like, “What are you doing?!” and “Stop!”.
Simon's main concern was not damaging you too much, he was careful. Just a single huge bicep around your neck and any fight you had seemingly evaporated with fright. You're bent over in a headlock, his grip as rigid as a pillory, but he’s not applying enough pressure to actually choke you. You’re just forced helplessly to come along or be dragged.
Not that it would have mattered if you were too wild to be led, he would simply tighten his hold, and allow up a quick nap. He’d pull out the dolly, load up the truck and be on his way.
On the big stainless steel work table the metal stings you even through your clothes. Unfortunately for you, even that scant protection doesn't last. The sight of the shears was enough to paralyze you again, and with a handful of strategic snips, Simon rips your last vestiges of humanity from you. All your skin transforms to gooseflesh, shivering on the table, but your nipples is where his roaming gaze finally settles.
He’ll have to remember to adjust the heat later. After all, “‘s a bit early to start chillin’ you”, he’d chuckle. You were a bit of silly thing, he thought. Maybe it’d be a minute till you’d actually catch on.
You're his little prize. Simon will coddle you, give you plenty of softness and warmth. You’ll not want for blankets, pillows, and other such treats, but not a stitch of clothing will ever touch your skin again. There would be no hiding your nakedness.
“Clothes? Clothes ‘re for people, what y’ need clothes for?” he scoffed. You don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s a question, because he doesn’t want you to answer. A dog doesn’t answer “who's a good boy?” does he?
He’s measuring you, jotting things down. You think distantly that the pencil looks puny in his fist. While he's at it, he's feeling and squeezing every inch of you. You’re groped and prodded like some saran wrapped package of beef at the grocery store.
Only when you think there’s finally a reprieve, you’re being hogtied. You’re trussed up in practically half a roll of twine, fat bulging between the strands, desperate to escape its bite. Simon says it looks good on you, can’t resist taking one of your new little rolls between his fingers, giving you a teasing pinch. You struggle of course, but the terrifying man commands you to “Settle”, says the only thing your fussing will get you is rope burn.
He claps you on the ass affectionately, assuring you that the scratchy string is only temporary. He knows a guy for leather, does good work. All hand stitched. Simon will have a proper harness made for you. Something with a lot of d-rings. It will be more comfortable for you and he can situate you how he likes with minimal bruising or chaffing.
As he admires your skin, he’ll remark offhandedly that he’ll have to ""'ave somethin' from you" too. He’s not usually one to bother, but it’d be a travesty to waste hide like yours. Couldn’t find more supple could y’? He hasn’t decided what’ll be yet, he’ll need to do some maths to figure out how much material you'll make. Behind his mask and the façade of impassivity, he savors your reaction. That’d be about the first time your consciousness flees from you.
Simon will lay it on thick, praise how "well-marbled" you are. Delectable. So plump and well-fed, you can't blame him for any of this, really. He'll say something about kobe beef and taking good care of you. He’ll massage you daily, knead every inch of you between his huge oiled hands. He'd take his time, temple t' toes. You couldn’t get a knot in a muscle if you tried.
Your more delicate bits don’t escape his tender ministrations either. He takes painstaking work in rubbing your insides down with thick fingers, wringing orgasms from you until you're limp and still as the rest of the meat in his shop. Says it’s good for the flavor, will make you even sweeter.
It’s all completely horrifying, it has to be a nightmare. He says all this so casually, like he’s telling you the time of day. This man is truly completely deranged.
His hands are always on you, it’s never fucking ending. He's taken it upon himself that you never “exert” yourself and you have no choice in the matter. Bastard won’t even let your hands free to eat or bathe. He "grooms" you. Brushes your hair, trims your nails, cleans your teeth, brushes, lathers, rinses, dries, moisturizes your skin. It’s humiliating and you hate every second of it.
The juxtaposition is too much, the horror and absurdity of it all. All the restraints and manhandling, your looming demise, while insisting on soft surfaces for you, water temperature just right, food carefully curated and cut up just so. He won’t let anything happen to spoil the meat.
He doesn’t spare any expense on your “feed” either. You eat what he eats, might as well be eating off his plate. Albeit simple, it’s good food, you don't see a point in denying it. It's fresh and flavorful and to no one’s surprise it includes a lot of meat. Always from his shop of course, only the best for you.
He’ll bring out some new parcel every night for dinner, unfolding the brown paper wrapping, holding up to you to admire his work. “‘S a ribeye”. He goes on about the marbling, the even color of the meat. “Couldn’t find fresher” he’d say, "was only jus' bleedin' this mornin'".
You’re his captive audience. There’s nothing else you can do but warily watch him make dinner, even if seeing a blade in his hand gives your heart palpitations. Steak, sautéed mushrooms, jacket potatoes, roasted broccoli.
You’ve long since stopped fighting him when it comes to meals. Because it can always get worse. After being bent over on the floor, forced to eat off a dish without the use of your hands, you’d resigned yourself to the fact that eating off his fork was a sufferable compromise. Still, if he’s in a mood he won’t even allow that. You'll eat off his fingers, and he’ll laugh at your expense and chide you when you inevitably “make a mess”.
The food was prepared, but this time the kitchen knife didn’t leave his grasp. It wasn’t a steak knife. It was too big and not serrated, but that didn’t seem to bother Simon. It certainly bothered you. Its presence loomed like a guillotine in your peripheral.
He feeds you bites between his own. Every mouthful and he looks so pleased. You desperately missed his mask at meal times. At least then you couldn’t see his smug fucking face.
On the plate the steam billows and curls. The meat gives easily under your molars, practically melts in your mouth. Hot and rich and juicy, it’s basted in butter, with garlic cloves and sprigs of rosemary, seasoned with cracked peppercorn and flakey sea salt. It’s a touch rarer than you’d like.
You wish you were capable of escaping the horror of it all for even a second, pretend you were anywhere else, with anyone else.
Simon punctuated his first bite with a low rumble of approval, watching you with those dark, cavernous eyes. He’d continued in that way, a man content in silence.
”...you'll taste better.”
He waited until your last bite to say it, maybe that was mercy on his part. The meat transformed in your mouth, became sinewy and bitter. You couldn’t swallow, and went to spit it out. But he expected that apparently, was on you in a second. Giant rough hand sealed over your lips, practically enclosing the bottom half of your face, smooshing your cheeks up into your eyes.
“Chew.”
It takes longer than usual, but you try to obey. His hand hasn’t moved from your mouth.
“Swallow.”
His eyes move from yours to your neck, his thumb grazing your throat lightly, tracing the bite’s trajectory as you force it down. His eyes are back on you then.
With Simon’s free hand he deftly pierces the last drippy morsel off the plate with the knife, popping it between his scarred lips. The hand still on you moves, migrates to cup your jaw, gradually starting to squeeze. You don’t have any fight left and open before it becomes painful.
Fear paralyzes you again, when he brings the knife towards you.
The movement is slow, as if he’s actually concerned about frightening you. He’s holding it longwise, pointed off to the side.
Then it’s on your tongue.
He drags the flat of the blade’s length across the trembling muscle, leisurely, only moving it away to flip it and clean the other side, myoglobin discarded on your tongue
“They’ll say ’m ‘spoilin’ ‘er rotten’. Eatin’ off my own plate, sleepin' in my own bed, warm under my roof. Keepin’ you safe indoors. Such a sweet, tame thing, are you’?”. He strokes your cheek, wiping at a drip at the corner of your mouth with a thumb before popping that in his mouth too.
Whenever Simon’s put up enough with your smart mouth, he enjoys the look of your wide wet eyes and your trembling lips stretched around a padded ring gag.
The sounds you make when gagged are special, little nonsense noises, almost like you're trying to talk like a person would. Sweet, pitiful sounds. He also loves when wet, choked sobs that cascade out of your open mouth, forcing you to drool. “You’re so messy, sweet’eart. Nose runnin’, too.” Says you're leaking from practically every hole. Eyes, nose, mouth, cunt.
Sometimes, you might almost be fooled into thinking he feels sorry for you in those moments when you're hyperventilating and hysterical, or wailing so mournfully. He always hushes you when you're crying, pets and hold you, dries your face, as if he’s not the cause of your tears. Despite how much Simon adores the taste of them, adores the soft jingling of the little cow bell tied ‘round your throat when your whole body quivers with sobs, the stress will sour the meat. He’ll say as much, but surprisingly it doesn’t help calm you down.
If it was necessary, he's not opposed to sedation as he's done the research to find one that won't affect your flavor. But most of the time, his solution to your despair is yet another thorough fucking, dopamine to counteract the stress.
Simon forces the orgasms out of your body as easily as he forces his cock into it, you're utterly helpless to stop either. His livelihood is working with his hands and he’s damn good at it. When all's said and done and you're spent, he’ll lightly chastise you for working yourself up, for fussing.
He loves the heft of you in his hands, weighs your heavy tits in his palms, grips your ample belly. Simon can't resist taking mouthfuls of you into his mouth, worrying your supple fat with his incisors. Your tits, ass, thighs, belly, back fat, hell, your double chin. It doesn't matter, any and every roll. You're always afraid he might be getting impatient, that he’ll take a bite out of you, but he never does. Simon says he's just sampling, maybe tenderizing you a bit.
His favorite taste of yours is still between your legs. He has you thank him for being so careful there. Past you inner thighs and plump mons, the pressure of his teeth yields, feeling barely a graze.
He likes putting mirrors in front of you, says he wants you to see how lovely you are. Your hands are clipped together, chain snagged in one of the meathooks, just low enough that you don’t strain your shoulders or quite have to stand on your tiptoes.
He directs you to watch, popping the lid off of a permanent marker with a squeak.
He maneuvers you this way and that as he works, dragging the marker down your body. His lines are surprisingly clean considering his canvas is such a pliant, organic shape. Hand are as steady as a surgeon. The marker tickled terribly on skin, the ethanol smell burning your nose, making it hard to think.
It only took a minute to recognize what he was doing. Your skin itches under the felt tip. You flail, trying desperately to smear it, to muss his work, but the ink dries too quickly.
Simon wouldn't let you keep your eyes closed, so in that moment you were grateful for the onslaught of tears blurring your vision somewhat.
That day, he showed you all your different cuts, as if you cared, as if you were together enough to pay attention.
Chuck, rib, loin, sirloin, rump, round, flank, plate, brisket, shank.
He tells you which are his favorite. Tells you which of his mates he’ll have over to enjoy you, ponders what pieces he’ll think they’ll like best. How to cook different cuts to get the best effect, that some cuts are naturally tougher and have to be cooked slowly, while the other cuts are tender and fatty, can be cooked at a higher temperature, quicker.
From the very beginning, he’s referenced the “Big Day”.
He’ll ask if you're excited over the shinnnnk of a knife against a whetstone. Simon always keeps his tools in order, sharpened expertly, but he thinks he'll polish them up extra shiny for the occasion. To a mirror finish, so you can see yourself. You're so beautiful, it'd be a cryin' shame for you to miss it.
It’s been months now you’ve been with him, and the day never comes.
...
You didn't dare question it.
But if you did, Simon would just chuckle, amused that you're so eager. Maybe he'll say that he decided he wants some milk from you instead.
#i love that this is the first thing i've ever posted publicly and it's this#now i need something soft with Ghost as a form of pseudo aftercare#this is a sick fuck dark/horror version of Ghost and isn't intended to be canon accurate#dead dove do not eat#both reader and author are fat#I don't know how to write accents#egregious abuse of quotation marks and italics
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we really didn't get violent enough about roe v wade being overturned. but and also - you're one person. you donated money. you went to the protest. you did what you could, which felt like doing basically nothing.
recently some big paper published an op ed (why did you even read it? you knew you'd get upset) about how it's gross that men can't find a partner because women don't want to suffer bad dates - they'd rather go to yoga class. you actually laughed - well, yeah! and it was funny until it wasn't, because something about it made your stomach churn. this is the thing, you want to say, but you don't have the words for what the thing is. just that men being bad at dating is your fault.
the thing is also on instagram. you don't know if it's a setting or algorithm thing, but these days, the most hurtful comments always seem to skim the top. simple reaction is don't read the comments but - you're human, so you're curious. you want to respond to every weird, sanctimonious one with replaying something a million times to find evidence they're lying about their gender is literally sexual harassment you shouldn't be proud of this or maybe get a fucking life you absolute dickhead but you've gotten into enough of these battles as a kid. nothing ever resolves. it just makes you upset.
your father was radicalized. the thing is - you go to therapy about it and yet never find the words for exactly the way that one hurts.
the other day your sister predicted that a commercial that aired during the superbowl was going to cause trouble. you wanted her to be wrong about that. this morning, while scrolling, you saw someone post exactly that - he got so angry i had to leave. it was terrifying. it reminds you, however bleakly: there are entire swathes of people who do not worry about domestic violence. who have no idea why you would put keys into your fist. who do not understand "it's better to be rude than dead." who have never googled am i being gaslit.
the other day you found out there's a bill that would make it so if you have a uterus and are braindead, you could fulfil your cattle purpose and carry a fetus to term. you think about the fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant people is murder. you think about ongoing and informed consent. you think about how, out of fear, if your ex boyfriend had pressured you, you absolutely would have said yes to it. in the comments, you write there is no way that these documents wouldn't be immediately forged. this is going to be misused. and then just delete it, sighing. get up and go to work.
the other day they overturned roe v wade. we weren't nearly violent enough about it. somewhere, a clock is ticking. it's been ticking a long time. you want to say it's time, but it's been time for a while, hasn't it.
#<3 time to get cancelled on the internet#btw this is trans inclusive author is nb#writeblr#i had a kind of argument with someone about that bill bc he was like ''oh but we do this for other organs'' and im like#okay so like the time it takes to safely extract an organ#versus NINE MONTHS of not having consent . not being able to bury the body.#my family unable to mourn. being used a host.#even if ALL OF THAT was NOT the case.#i do not believe for a fucking SECOND this would be use safely. i cannot imagine a world in which#it was not immediately and with gusto. used to abuse others
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I am just so fundamentally uninterested in the story where Jason is in the wrong and needs to Gain Perspective or whatever. God what a snore. What an absolute waste of my time.
#sigh obligatory disclaimer: I am not pro death penalty#I am pro authority figures actually enforcing safety rather than prioritizing the comfort of abusers and the status quo#the difference between Jason and the likes of Punisher or Huntress is that he positions himself as another criminal#he is aware of what heroes are symbolically and he doesn’t want to mess that up#so when he kills you the message he sends is not that it happened because you deserved it#but that it happened because you broke the rules#and obviously this is problematic#but also this man lives in a world only superficially more civilized than a frontier zone#or idk maybe it’s just Gotham which is so fucked up#Jason cooled off as soon as he exited the city so eh#anyways desperate people will do desperate thing and moralizing at them makes you a smarmy fuck#jason todd
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What I wouldn't do to wrap Airplane-bro (SQH) like a burrito, give him a hot steaming bowl of noodles and a crushing hug (╥﹏╥) (either from me or by throwing this man into Mobei-Jun's tits), especially most fanfiction versions of this guy!
Bro has been running the logistics peak, having to dance to the whims of the system, been thirsting over a dude who he has become terrified of BC of the hitting and foreseen death flags, all while being the best bro he can stand to be for Cucumber-bro (SQQ) to ensure their only alternative survival back-ups
I'm wondering how good his cultivation is to not immediately burnout by the end of the novels, given he had probably lived so high strung
Bro's more brave than me for all he gets called a coward in fanfiction
#GET THIS MAN A PARACETAMOL#GIVE HIM MORE LOVE#fanfic authors just give this man more and more traumatic backstory or abuse bruhs#how to get a man to chill#svsss#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#mxtx#moshang#shen yuan#ao3#peerless cucumber#“found out a story i made online is real”#SQH:“does this mean im god now?? there ppl are my CHILDREN?”
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Kids instinctively test their boundaries and challenge authority; not to be annoying and cause trouble on purpose, but because they need to know where the boundaries are, what are the consequences for breaking them, and who actually is the real authority that can bring forth the consequences. This is normal and healthy human behaviour; if they don’t try it, how will they ever find out? It's curiosity, courage, need to know exactly where they stand, how much freedom can they get, what they can get away with, it's something we all have to test in life at one point or another, and childhood should be the safest, most protected place to test this out.
Based on how well they manage to establish their own place, their own rules and figure out what will and won't have consequences, they'll continue to develop this knowledge in the adulthood; they'll fight for their needs in their friendships and relationships, they'll stand up to their teachers and exploitative bosses, they'll follow their sense of justice and sometimes defy authority in order to do what is right. And if they learned something is a hard limit in childhood, they'll be careful not to cross that limit where it would come back to harm them. And those limits should be along the lines of causing physical harm to others, hurting smaller, more vulnerable people, using their power for cruelty.
In abusive households, children are not allowed this test of limits. Abusive parents insist on complete authority, punish something as small as 'talking back', and thus take away the child's ability to explore boundaries. In abuse the boundaries are usually uncertain, undefined, so the child can never know what could be taken as an offense, as a provocation or excuse to harm them. Abusers prefer keeping children not knowing where they stand, so they would assume anything could be taken as disobedience, even lack of action could be punished. This enables abusers to change the rules at will and to punish child who hasn't done anything wrong – they can retroactively decide something offended them and take their anger out on a child. The child learns that even if someone just perceives a transgression, that didn't even happen, they will be punished for it. They learn to live in absolute fear, analyzing their every action, anxiously trying to figure out how everyone around them is feeling and reacting to them, trying desperately not to give anyone a reason for offense.
So how will this child deal with an unfair teacher, one they get in that situation? How will they handle an exploitative boss? How can they fight back a bully, navigate an abusive friendship or a relationship, how can they stand up to anyone? They've learned that even doing nothing can have devastating consequences, and doing everything sometimes isn't enough either. All they know how to do is to try to please everyone, desperately overthink everything, accept blame and punishment even when it wasn't their fault, even when they're being exploited and harmed. Their needs get forgotten and neglected completely, in their endless quest to protect themselves from harm, by trying to avoid it with their every action and word. They've been taught, by pain and torture, that other people's authority over them is final, that refusing to please others means pain. So they'll accept being exploited, neglected and violated, because to refuse would mean even worse type of pain. And the abusive boss, partner, teacher, friend, will revel in realization that this person is afraid, that anything can be done to them, that rules can be changed on the fly, exploitation can be endless because this person won't ever test what's been said to them; they'll assume other's authority is right, and that to fight back would mean severe consequences.
That is what authoritarian parenting teaches, that's what forceful, demanding, aggressive and punishment-eager parents do to their kid's lives. They lie every time they say it's to make the kid strong, or to prepare them for 'the real life', it's anything but. It's creating a person who cannot fight for themselves or stand up for themselves because they've been tortured for their first attempts to test the boundaries.
Let your kids try stupid shit. If they can't figure out boundaries by testing them out with you, they won't be able to figure it out any other way. Adults do it all the time, because they've learned as children that this testing can bring them benefits, certainty, fairness and needs fulfilled. As it should be, children should try and see what happens if they ask, if they demand, if they try to get their way, if they protest, if they fight back. They need to know that sometimes in life it's worth it. That sometimes it's necessary. They need to know life won't end if they try it. They need to know it's okay to try. They need to believe they have every right to.
#testing boundaries#child abuse#abusive parents#abusive household#uncertain boundaries#changing rules#teaching children that questioning any authority is dangerous#and will have painful consequences#so that any figure of authority will explot them forever#which figures of authority often do
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ACOTAR Rant
Hot take, Azriel is just as bad as Cassian and Rhysand, it's just that he so happens to be an introvert while Cassian and Rhysand are extroverts.
Just because it's quiet doesn't mean his participation in Nesta and Feyre's abuse is any less impactful.
He didn't tell Feyre about the pregnancy.
He was in active participate in punishing Nesta in the hike from hell by purposefully packing her bag to be as heavy as possible.
When he saw Nesta's bruises from falling down the stairs, he assumed they were from Cassian pushing her and smiled at that.
He was a bystander as Cassian controlled Nesta down to her eating habits.
And I have plenty of reason to believe he was not placed with Cassian as one of Nesta's prison guards to make sure they didn't fuck, he was there to make absolute certain that Cassian did not let Nesta out.
He was just the only one who didn't say anything to her face, therefore he was the only member of the Inner Circle that Nesta could stand to be around. It doesn't make him a better person, he's just as bad as the rest of em.
Azriel started proclaiming his undying love to a woman who had been tortured and was currently sitting on enemy territory.
He regifted something made for a woman he sexually fantasized about and tried to fuck, to an SA survivor.
Azriel is creepy, and weird, and just as horrible as the rest of them, that's why he's Rhysand's friend.
Now, do I obsessively write about him with Eris? Of course I do! I love taking characters with the personality of a upside down goldfish in an empty tank and turning them into the object of my creative desires.
But at the end of the day, he still sucks just as much as the rest of them.
#anti azriel#anti azriel shadowsinger#anti azriel acotar#anti ic#anti inner circle#anti rhysand#anti cassian#im not even gonna claim azriel could have been a good love interest for nesta in the hands of anoter author#because i hated azriel from the moment we were introduced to him#and was actively praying for his death at every page turn#but i have to say i am surprised at the amount of people that say azriel was the only one that was good to nesta#because no he wasn't??????#like he was not good to her at all#nesta was just used to loud verbal abuse#so abuse that was quiet was a reprieve for her#which is SAD#pro nesta archeron
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Cosi has been adjusting smoothly. She gets scared of loud noises and doesn't like the TV that much, but she's slowly coming out of her shell; it's apparent too from how much more she's been talking. Good thing the condos have thick walls! Dulce and Caruso try to cook for her as much as she can, but they're still a little busy settling into their new home themselves. Dulce's felt guilty because of that! She'll have to feed her new baby some kibble made of who-knows-what??? Radioactive material? Dulce’s dyslexia doesn't help when it comes to reading the ingredient lists that go on for miles... she doesn't trust any of it. Begrudgingly, she headed to the store. That's when she found the Nesbitt pet food products, which are all organic and amazing in every way! What luck. They are keeping these in their home forever. Cosi loves the Buttercups treats :) She would happily be a model for advertisements.
#one thing about heather and dulce is that they love to take down the rich and powerful who abuse their authority#oc mlt: cosita alegria#tjolc gen 2#alegria legacy#matchalovertrait#sims 4#ts4#the sims 4#tjolc#sims 4 legacy#ts4 simblr
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(I'm a security guard.)
#There is an overwhelming number of traumatized people who work in security#So many of us have histories of abuse#Or other things#And I wonder so often#I'm good at my job#But am I attracted to power?#I like helping people#I don't like hurting people#Or picking on anyone#But it's hard to know what the right answers are sometimes#Part of my job is working with police#Even if I disagree with them#I tell myself it's better that I'm the guard here#And not someone malicious#Or cruel#But how much am I really changing?#And am I using my power correctly#Or will I become the unreasonable authority that made me the scared person I am#Is it already too late?#What if the calls I'm unsure of are the warning signs#Maybe I'm already too late#Maybe my sense of morality and justice is eroding#To fit the hole I've placed myself in#Maybe I'm not chipping at the walls fast enough#Maybe I'm being reshaped#Just being here#Maybe my conflict of conscience is the internal monologue of a sympathetic villain#Maybe I'm the bad guy#Teablart
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Somebody tell me if this is a bad take, or if my love for Bruce is causing my objective brain to glitch, but-- something about advertising Batman, a hero who's very popular for being good with children, for being NURTURING with children, a bad father kinda defeats the whole purpose of what he's supposed to represent.
Batman is a protector; He protects people the world (and especially law enforcement) does not care about. That's literally the point of him.
Something about marketing " you can be incredibly violent to people you care about! And Its fine, because you care about them even if you abuse them, and that's what matters!" towards people, but especially men and young boys, is REALLY fucked up to me.
#it's not really 'wahhh think of the children' because the media you consume isn't a vessel of your character#but. gotham war is so incredibly shallow to me for pulling the 'no no its another personality bruce would never!' like. thats worse.#you get thats worse right?#because 1) dc loves demoninsing DID for some reason but it doesn’t add any substantial weight because bruce will be associated with#the actions of his 'alter' anyway. and dc knew that. 2) if you truly cannot write an interesting comic book where bruce is not abusive#and the batkids aren't being abused. you failed.#this isn't a reprouch or an attack to people who prefer that format. but the creator isn't doing it as genuine exploration of dark tropes#if that's the case -- dont cop out with the personality thing. let him be a bad dad. but its kinda fucked how dc STILL try to paint him#as a good person while doing so. its the collen hoover effect. 'we know the guy is an abuser. thats not the problem. the problem#is that the author wants us to pretend thats a good thing.'#bruce wayne#dc comics#dc#batman#text post#dc critical
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#actually autistic#autistic experiences#invisible disability#autism#actuallyautistic#disability#disabled community#complex ptsd#physically disabled#physical disability#fibromyalgia#me/cfs#mild me/cfs#orthostatic intolerance#myalgic encephalomyelitis#chronic pain#authority figures#ableism#casual ableism#tw abuse
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