#that would be horribly unfortunate

[forget-me-not-automaton]

It’s so funny how I’ve learned to hinge my entire self on such a terrible family. Every media I like and every opinion I have is thickly filtered through “what would dad think if I showed him this or told him about it? What about my brother and sister?” Even though all 3 are simply indifferent most of the time, while still managing to hurt my feelings constantly with their own outdated views. I constantly try to come up with ways I could fix them or make them better, trying to figure out how to work them into good people, even though I know I can’t do that. I don’t want my opinions to be controlled by people who I hardly see anymore. I just want to be free.

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[fauvester]

little moshang fan kid <3

spoiled, aloof, a bit of a bitch, terminally 'weak constitution'-ed, lowkey lazy, prefers reading his dailies in the office and pretending to do paperwork to fighting

[tainebot01]

I would like to officially welcome Eustace Winner to the "My Name Is A Cruel Joke My Paternal Figure Played On Me" club

[Image Description: A digital drawing of Eustace Winner from Ace Attorney and Hunter from The Owl House in a handshake, against a purple background. Both are looking towards the camera as if they are taking a picture and both have a look of concern on their faces. Eustace’s expression is significantly more distressed than Hunter’s. End Description]

[arrgh-whatever]

SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER!!! Congrats on getting married soon!! :]c

my boyfriend and I will also marry soon also for documents BUT WE'RE VERY EXCITED. Wish you guys lots and lots of luck to you two!!!

Thank you!! :]

Congratulations to you both as well!!!!

[coquelicoq]

the reason for all the marriage offers isn't because everybody wants a piece of that sweet sweet matoba power but because the old exorcist aunties think it's such a shame that some two-bit soap opera actor is stringing along that nice matoba boy. they just want to help him get over this unworthy charlatan who is clearly never going to give him the time of day. remind him there's other fish in the sea, sort of thing. matoba is taking longer than planned to fall in love with one of their grandchildren but they are not above leaving a little cursed voicemail here and there and one day, their efforts are bound to bear fruit. surely any day now.

[lesbworth]

selected moments (mostly gay or countess almaviva or both) from barrie kosky's 2023 production of le nozze di figaro at the wiener staatsoper

[lotus-pear]

You've gave us domestic knkdz hcs now im asking for the angst one (im allergic to happiness)

oh? bet.

• the tragic knowledge of dazai sustaining mortal wounds on precarious missions and kunikida being unable to use his ability for first-aid and staunch the flow from the wound because any notebook-manifested bandages will simply turn to bloodied pieces of paper the moment they come into contact with his skin.

• kunikida mentions that in his earliest missions he would cry for days and be unable to come to work when people he was unable to save died. at low points like these, dazai would directly confront him and tell him he could not save everyone, no matter how much effort he put in--it was the inherent nature of the world. conversations like these led kunikida to take greater action instead of mourning.

• kunikida also says he visits the graves of those who died on missions, as a way of honoring them and being unable to save them. although dazai does not share this guilt, he will accompany him as they silently stand together in the graveyard. more often than not, they each bring flowers to lay at the tombstones.

• dazai seeing kunikida as the ultimate culmination of oda, both through preservation of ideals in a cruel society that seems hellbent on destroying them, and also intrinsically one of the only people that has any moral justness in a corrupt world. one of the reasons he likely latches so hard onto kunikida. the initial grief from oda's death was likely in the back of his mind...only to bittersweetly resurface when he sees him again in partner. he was enamoured from the start.

• kunikida learning about dazai being port mafia would not turn him away because of the atrocities he committed and the people he murdered. more likely, he would be shocked about the things dazai was forced to do. he would look at dazai in pity, not disgust.

[ducktracy]

reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)

if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop

[opens-up-4-nobody]

after my last job that left me suicidal constantly, it took me literal years but im finally at a place where i feel like i can do work and try and go through stressors without hating my work and my life and idk, maybe this is dumb but no matter what happens, even if right now things feel like a mess, i hope that one day things will feel right for you. you are strong, it doesnt always fucking feel like it when you're breaking down and its going to be so much work (and sometimes that work is learning how to destress and setting boundaries and slowing down) but i love you and i have faith in you.

Thanks :-]

[mikhailoism]

kinda sad to me that there's no truck bombing aus where bobby was on the truck and he's the one who gets crushed........

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay but why haven't we had a time travel/fix it fic where after some shenanigans everyone decides to take down shinra, they split up to take out the important figures, sephiroth obviously takes hojo for any and all of a dozen good reasons.

And then hojo pulls a winter soldier sleeper code on him.

And then everyone is suddenly dealing with a brainwashed sephiroth.

-

Hojo has to have some way to control sephiroth as he grew into his monstrous strength and power, yes? And learned helplessness isn't enough of a reassurance your prized military leader powerhouse isn't going to wake up one day and realise just how easily he could paint the labs walls red with chunks of you. And because hojo is obsessed with total power and control, dealing with a murder machine with huge mental issues, it'd only be fitting he create his own emergency shutdown.

In the most needlessly traumatic and mentally violating way, of course. Would sephiroth even know, if he couldn't remember? Would he have long stretches of emptiness in his memories that never get explained to him, or would he wake up where he'd blacked out, just another day in the labs?

Imagine, his allies watching on the cameras, as sephiroth stalks into the labs, a predator sighting its prey, exchanging a few cold words with hojo, raising masamune... And then hojos mouth opening, sephiroth going stiff like an animatronic, rearranging himself on the floor where he stood, face hidden behind his hair. Hojo leaves the room and he doesn't move, doesn't respond to any comms or passing scientists accidentally rolling a cart over his coat and hair.

Hojo ordering sephiroth to reveal their plans, their allies, their resources. Sephiroth doing it. Hojo deciding to punish sephiroth for the rebellion with lab procedures, or hojo ordering him to hunt down his co conspirators and end the takeover. Sephiroth doing so, heavy in his steps, crashing through walls and doors, heedless now of morals or civilians, silent, unresponsive. So completely unlike the jenova malice they'd been prepared to fight, that sephiroth had been bracing against. No arrogance, no mocking, no dramatic battlefield or hungry glowing eyes.

The puppeteer becomes the puppet, and with it, every trace of holding back. The perfect soldier.

I imagine the first trigger word would be lucrecia.

[milfbrainrot]

to be completely honest i think the biggest thing that holds me back from making ocs is i focus so much on difficult dynamics that no matter how i envision a character, there's some type of offensive way it could be interpreted and it just... stops being fun. of course you need to have some considerations for avoiding blatant stereotypes but it rly does hold me back from developing anything out further bc it feels like everything i go to make is tainted and Problematic TM.

[the-way-astray]

This is not alayda. See if you can guess who it is!

—————

Title: Never Change

Pairing: Stria x Keefe

—————

Stria buried her head in her pillow, wishing she could take back the way she’d handled quite possibly the worst social interaction of her entire life.

It isn’t every day you come face to face with the boy you hate the most. How is one supposed to act in that situation? Perhaps a polite smile and nod would have been appropriate if said boy hadn’t spontaneously asked, “Why do you hate me?” in a tone that implied such a cocktail of emotions, one wishes they were an Empath so they might be able to decipher them.

In face, Stria wished she was an Empath in that moment. She would have grabbed Keefe’s hand and parroted his emotions off to him, loudly. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Instead, she was left guessing at the tone behind his words. It seemed like they’d bubbled over, like it was something he’d contemplated, something that bothered him, taking Stria off guard. She hadn’t realized Keefe knew she existed. Maybe if she’d been expecting the interaction, or if it made any sense at all, she would have handled it with more grace, or at least not landed herself in the situation she was in now.

Her response to his question was a rather snarky, “What, not used to girls who don’t worship the ground you walk on?” She could hardly believe the sentence had come out of her mouth. She should have just ignored him and continued to hate him from afar.

She expected him to bite back with another snarky remark, perhaps accompanied by his trademark smirk. It would have been on-brand for him. Maybe he would have expected a banter to start up, which Stria would have quickly shut down. But instead, he just deflated, like he was already tired. “Sounds like you’ve made up your mind about me, then.”

“Definitely,” Stria agreed. “How do you even know I hate you?”

“You told enough people.” There was a semblance of the smirk she hated, just like everything else about him. “Things get back to me, you know. I hear all the rumors. I just… I don’t know you, Stria.”

“You don’t.”

“And you don’t know me.”

“And I don’t care to.”

“So if you don’t know me and you don’t care to know me, how can you hate me?”

“If you don’t know me and don’t care to know me, why should you care that I hate you?” Stria countered.

“Who said I didn’t care to know you?”

Stria’s jaw dropped, especially since the smooth way he’d collected himself back into his trademark personality had been almost seamless, and now he was… what, flirting with her? Was that what that version of his smirk meant? “I’m beginning to remember why I don’t interact with you.”

“You needed a reminder, huh?”

“Hardly.”

“Look, I’m just interested.” He shrugged. He didn’t seem desperate anymore, and Stria wondered if that had just been a part of his act. “How can someone who barely knows anything about me hate me so passionately?”

Goodness, he simply didn’t drop subjects, did he? “If I gave you a list of concrete reasons, would you leave me alone?”

“Sure.”

Stria didn’t even know if she believed him, but she gave him the list, alright. It was a horrible decision. She should have just verbally listed a few random things he did that she just liked—perhaps his ridiculous jokes. But no, she unzipped her bag, pulled out her handwritten, ever-growing list of Reasons Keefe Sencen Is A Horrible Person, which was now up to 75 pages long, and handed it to Keefe Sencen himself.

While Keefe took a moment to figure out what he was holding, surprised to be handed a physical list, Stria turned around and briskly walked away without another word.

And now she had her head buried in her pillow, because… why had she done that?!

Stria’s imparter buzzed, interrupting her spiral. She was being hailed by… the one person she wanted most to not be hailed by.

Sighing, she answered him for the sole purpose of greeting him with: “I thought you said if I gave you the list you’d leave me alone.”

Keefe didn’t attempt a witty response. “Are you stalking me?”

Stria blinked. “Am I what?”

“How do you know half the stuff on this list? I mean, half of it is just you being mad that I have a personality, and the other half is…” Keefe winced. “Listen. It’s not like I’ve never made a mistake. But how do you know about half this stuff? These conversations… who told you about them?”

Oh. He was asking that question. “Uh… it’s hard to explain. I kind of walked through the fourth wall to get here, so…”

“The what?”

“I’m not stalking you. I don’t care enough about you to stalk you.”

Keefe pressed his lips together. “Okayyyy,” he said slowly, drawing out the word. “You don’t care about me… but you keep a comprehensive list of all the reasons you don’t like me.”

“Yep.”

“Kind of seems like you might be compensating for how much you do care.”

Stria shook her head vehemently. “Nope. If I liked you at all, that would be a very different essay. It might include an examination of your childhood trauma and how it made you into a manipulative person who runs from his problems.”

“I… what?”

“Go bother Katie. Please.”

“I don’t even want to know. Listen…” Keefe sighed. “Do you want to, you know, meet up for—”

“No.”

“—smoothies—”

“Nope.”

“—in Atlantis?”

“I said no.”

“You could tell me all about how I can be a better person so you won’t have to keep adding to this list,” Keefe offered, and this time, when a challenging spark lit up in his eye, Stria didn’t find it annoying.

Was Keefe inviting her to tear him to shreds over Elvin smoothies? He wanted her to tell him he was a bad person? Oh, he’d regret asking that by the time Stria wasn’t even halfway done with him. “You really don’t take no for an answer, do you,” Stria said, rolling her eyes. “We can start by talking about that, you know.

“Over smoothies?”

“Of course.” Stria would let him have this small battle. His offer might as well have been a surrender in their war.

“It’s a date.”

“It is most certainly not a date,” Stria said, ending their call before he could have the last word.

Stria lay back down onto her pillow, but this time, she wasn’t mentally berating herself. Instead, she was planning out an impassioned rant, delivered like a punch directly to his extremely punchable face. Handsome, for sure, but punchable nonetheless.

She didn’t care about him, did she?

It was just one of those stupid things he said about her, of course. And when she thought he was handsome, well, that was simply an objective statement. Yes, she spent a lot of time thinking about him, but it was only to think about how much she hated him. Even now, she was still thinking about him, but it was only to plan how to best make him cry into his smoothie.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t entirely apathetic, but she didn’t like him. She would never like him. And that would certainly never change.

—————

Part 2: smoothie date?

See if you can guess the author!

breakdown first, guesses second

"Stria buried her head in her pillow, wishing she could take back the way she’d handled quite possibly the worst social interaction of her entire life."

yeah, i don't do this. also there is no way i could have a social interaction that's worse than this one i had in the fourth grade. when i have a bad social interaction, i simply bottle it up and cringe in my own head. until the day i die. hope this helps.

"It isn’t every day you come face to face with the boy you hate the most. How is one supposed to act in that situation? Perhaps a polite smile and nod would have been appropriate if said boy hadn’t spontaneously asked, “Why do you hate me?” in a tone that implied such a cocktail of emotions, one wishes they were an Empath so they might be able to decipher them.

In face, Stria wished she was an Empath in that moment. She would have grabbed Keefe’s hand and parroted his emotions off to him, loudly. Give him a taste of his own medicine."

currently wondering where and when this happened. and i would be determined not to sink to his level, so i probably would not actually be wishing to be an empath to give him a taste of his own medicine. i'd want to flaunt my moral superiority over him. that would be way more satisfying.

"Instead, she was left guessing at the tone behind his words. It seemed like they’d bubbled over, like it was something he’d contemplated, something that bothered him, taking Stria off guard. She hadn’t realized Keefe knew she existed. Maybe if she’d been expecting the interaction, or if it made any sense at all, she would have handled it with more grace, or at least not landed herself in the situation she was in now.

Her response to his question was a rather snarky, “What, not used to girls who don’t worship the ground you walk on?” She could hardly believe the sentence had come out of her mouth. She should have just ignored him and continued to hate him from afar."

i'm terrible at contemplating tone, meaning here is where the y/n-ness officially begins. it would have to be pretty obvious for me to be able to pick up on it. so this implies some sort of school-like place. are we in the elite levels? also what situation am i in now? this is weird. i don't see a situation. and i truly don't believe that girls worship the ground keefe walks on, as i've definitely talked about before. shannon is a liar and she made that up to make keefe seem cool :) hope this helps. most girls are barely aware of keefe’s existence, and if they are, it’s because he’s friends with fitz and is a notorious prankster. and the part about me wondering how the sentence came out of my mouth is eerily accurate. i wonder that about just about everything confrontational i say.

“She expected him to bite back with another snarky remark, perhaps accompanied by his trademark smirk. It would have been on-brand for him. Maybe he would have expected a banter to start up, which Stria would have quickly shut down. But instead, he just deflated, like he was already tired. “Sounds like you’ve made up your mind about me, then.”

“Definitely,” Stria agreed. “How do you even know I hate you?”

“You told enough people.” There was a semblance of the smirk she hated, just like everything else about him. “Things get back to me, you know. I hear all the rumors. I just… I don’t know you, Stria.””

well i don't think keefe's remarks are snarky. i think they're wannabe snarky. and why is he deflated? why can't he just prank me (or try to) and leave? is this not a better option than trying to get someone who hates him to stop hating him? and keefe would literally never do this. he would not want to deal with people that hate him . . . i literally talked in my rant about how he's a very particular sort of arrogant. interesting that in this canon i'm telling people, physical people, how much i hate keefe. and i don't hate everything about him, but i'll let this slide since i am clearly supposed to be an unreliable narrator here. very interesting.

"“You don’t.”

“And you don’t know me.”

“And I don’t care to.”

“So if you don’t know me and you don’t care to know me, how can you hate me?”

“If you don’t know me and don’t care to know me, why should you care that I hate you?” Stria countered.

“Who said I didn’t care to know you?”

Stria’s jaw dropped, especially since the smooth way he’d collected himself back into his trademark personality had been almost seamless, and now he was… what, flirting with her? Was that what that version of his smirk meant? “I’m beginning to remember why I don’t interact with you.”

“You needed a reminder, huh?”

“Hardly.”

“Look, I’m just interested.” He shrugged. He didn’t seem desperate anymore, and Stria wondered if that had just been a part of his act. “How can someone who barely knows anything about me hate me so passionately?”

Goodness, he simply didn’t drop subjects, did he? “If I gave you a list of concrete reasons, would you leave me alone?”

“Sure.”"

WRONG! i know keefe very well. i know him so well that when anons try to misinterpret him in my inbox i shut that shit down quickly. especially when they misinterpret him by saying he'd be intrigued that i hate him!!!! and i can hate him because i know him and his insufferable personality so well!!!! also i would not assume that "who said i didn't care to know you?" was flirting. that's not really in character. also i don't drop my jaw. i've definitely mentioned this before but i'm very good at controlling my facial muscles in general and people think i'm emotionally repressed and detached because of this. the y/n-ness is back. also you captured keefe's annoyingness so well. good job. i also don't use the word "hardly" like this. curious to know what's going on in his head right now, though. why doesn't he seem desperate anymore? although i am not the sort of person who'd be able to tell that. wrong again! and i can hate him so passionately because i know him so well. he sucks ass, and i am very aware of all the moments in which he does toxic shit and is never villainized for it.

"Stria didn’t even know if she believed him, but she gave him the list, alright. It was a horrible decision. She should have just verbally listed a few random things he did that she just liked—perhaps his ridiculous jokes. But no, she unzipped her bag, pulled out her handwritten, ever-growing list of Reasons Keefe Sencen Is A Horrible Person, which was now up to 75 pages long, and handed it to Keefe Sencen himself.

While Keefe took a moment to figure out what he was holding, surprised to be handed a physical list, Stria turned around and briskly walked away without another word."

oooooh, we're officially breaking the fourth wall. i'm going to assume that was supposed to say "a few random things he did that she disliked", because i despise his jokes with a passion. they're incredibly cringy and immature, as well as not at all self-aware and mostly unfunny. i love the implication that i carry a physical copy of my seventy-five-page-long rant around everywhere i go. that's hysterical. the idea of keefe reading my rant about him is so funny to me. that's actually hilarious.

"And now she had her head buried in her pillow, because… why had she done that?!

Stria’s imparter buzzed, interrupting her spiral. She was being hailed by… the one person she wanted most to not be hailed by.

Sighing, she answered him for the sole purpose of greeting him with: “I thought you said if I gave you the list you’d leave me alone.”

Keefe didn’t attempt a witty response. “Are you stalking me?”

Stria blinked. “Am I what?”

“How do you know half the stuff on this list? I mean, half of it is just you being mad that I have a personality, and the other half is…” Keefe winced. “Listen. It’s not like I’ve never made a mistake. But how do you know about half this stuff? These conversations… who told you about them?”

Oh. He was asking that question. “Uh… it’s hard to explain. I kind of walked through the fourth wall to get here, so…”

“The what?”

“I’m not stalking you. I don’t care enough about you to stalk you.”"

yeah . . . i would not be beating myself up over giving keefe a copy of my rant. i would think that was very suave and cool of me lmfaooooo. very curious as to how i have entered the lost cities in this fic. i'm using an imparter, implying i'm an elf. but i also break the fourth wall somehow, implying i'm a human. so i'm a human in the lost cities? how does that affect my interactions with the world? or did i become an elf when i broke the fourth wall? and why did i decide to walk through the fourth wall at all? so many questions . . . and now. i'm not mad that keefe has a personality, i'm mad that it's annoying and cringe and unfunny and immature and generally irritating and not at all, like, fun. but i also think this is just you writing keefe as an unreliable narrator, so i'll give it a pass. curious to know whether anon has actually read my rant. "i don't care enough about you to stalk you" EXACTLY!!!! if keefe existed in the same realm as me, i simply would not care unless he existed in my sphere of awareness, in which case i would be filled up with an uncontrollable rage.

"Keefe pressed his lips together. “Okayyyy,” he said slowly, drawing out the word. “You don’t care about me… but you keep a comprehensive list of all the reasons you don’t like me.”

“Yep.”

“Kind of seems like you might be compensating for how much you do care.”

Stria shook her head vehemently. “Nope. If I liked you at all, that would be a very different essay. It might include an examination of your childhood trauma and how it made you into a manipulative person who runs from his problems.”

“I… what?”

“Go bother Katie. Please.”"

my response to that question would probably be more along the lines of "well actually it wasn't meant for you to see, and it's actually only updated until legacy. so it's not even finished." or something like that. and the rant is for the purpose of venting and trying to get people to understand that keefe isn't a perfect angel, either as a character or as the way shannon wrote him. but irrelevant. ohhhhh, the "compensating for how much you care" argument, how original. but again i'm not mad at anon, since they're making keefe say this and i already hate keefe. so. interesting that i decided to bring katie up as a counterpoint, not something i would've even realistically thought about doing. it's good to know she exists in this canon, though.

"“I don’t even want to know. Listen…” Keefe sighed. “Do you want to, you know, meet up for—”

“No.”

“—smoothies—”

“Nope.”

“—in Atlantis?”

“I said no.”

“You could tell me all about how I can be a better person so you won’t have to keep adding to this list,” Keefe offered, and this time, when a challenging spark lit up in his eye, Stria didn’t find it annoying.

Was Keefe inviting her to tear him to shreds over Elvin smoothies? He wanted her to tell him he was a bad person? Oh, he’d regret asking that by the time Stria wasn’t even halfway done with him. “You really don’t take no for an answer, do you,” Stria said, rolling her eyes. “We can start by talking about that, you know.”"

WHY THE FUCK IS KEEFE ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE???? EXCUSE ME???? did i not spend so much time explaining exactly why keefe would not give two shits about someone who hates his guts???? he would not be intrigued . . . realistically speaking i would've hung up on him the instead of saying "no" that first time, but i suppose this is still passable. and i very much would find the spark in his eye annoying, even if i was intrigued by the challenge. he's always annoying. and so on. although i would like to tear keefe to shreds . . . hm. this is so interesting. and yes, keefe does need to start taking no for an answer. send him back to seventh grade health class please.

"“Over smoothies?”

“Of course.” Stria would let him have this small battle. His offer might as well have been a surrender in their war.

“It’s a date.”

“It is most certainly not a date,” Stria said, ending their call before he could have the last word."

i'm more of a milkshake person, but i digress. i guess it makes sense that the elves have a concept of smoothies, seeing as all their food is goopy and stuff. also yes, i would totally hang up on him like that!!!! good job, anon.

"Stria lay back down onto her pillow, but this time, she wasn’t mentally berating herself. Instead, she was planning out an impassioned rant, delivered like a punch directly to his extremely punchable face. Handsome, for sure, but punchable nonetheless.

She didn’t care about him, did she?

It was just one of those stupid things he said about her, of course. And when she thought he was handsome, well, that was simply an objective statement. Yes, she spent a lot of time thinking about him, but it was only to think about how much she hated him. Even now, she was still thinking about him, but it was only to plan how to best make him cry into his smoothie.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t entirely apathetic, but she didn’t like him. She would never like him. And that would certainly never change."

i don't need to plan out an impassioned rant. i just need to digitize the keefe rant, then find out how to use the command f feature on the imparter. the rant has everything i need. and i don't plan out conversations in advance. i just sort of go with the flow. this is not something i'd be doing. at all. keefe is unfortunately handsome, but as i've said, that makes him even more annoying, so that's hardly contradictory. i would like to see him cry into his smoothie, though . . . and i don't like the way i'm being written like an unreliable narrator here, with the convincing myself i don't care about him. i don't have to convince myself i don't care about him, because i don't. hope this helps :)

okay, now to try to guess who you are. short version: i have no idea.

long version:

i’ve only read three kotlc fanfics, one by katie, one by quil, and one by summer. so i’m not very exposed to anyone else’s styles.

(four if you count whatever the fuck this is by fin)

katie was my first suspect, but then i saw this thread, and i guess she could be lying but whatever. eliminating her. if it is her at least i can say she was my first suspect.

quil didn’t write this. neither did summer. so unfortunately this means i’ve never read anything by this person before, and wouldn't know any telltale markers and such.

(unless it is fin. there’s a non-zero chance of that, but i don’t think fin would write a proper fanfic with good grammar and spelling. so eliminating him as well.)

so i assume you are someone who’s sent me asks off anon before, and you obviously support this idiotic ship, so that narrows you down quite a bit as well. is that right?

i rank this fanfic a solid 4/10. it's strieefe, which immediately shaves off a good four points, but you got certain aspects of me correct. but you also messed up some things about me as well, so that's another two points. sorry anon :( don't worry, alayda's was probably like a -800/10. you're still the best strieefe fanfic writer around.

[psychidelias]

Shoutout to Arnold Rimmer and his hyperactive leg, he is too real to handle and I hate it.