#that was a massive accomplishment for me and i want to try doing that again for more ship weeks/other events

[golden--doodler]

This sounds a bit sad, but I'm someone who used to have absolutely zero faith in my artistic abilities. I've been writing my entire life, and haven't had too many self-confidence issues with that (well, I've gotten down on myself about my writing before, but I've gotten a lot better about that). I've always known I have the ability to write, as I've been doing it almost my entire life.

But drawing was a different story. I used to always tell myself "Ha! I just need to stick to writing. I'll never be able to draw. Are you kidding? Look at all of these talented artists. And look at these gorgeous realistic anatomy they can do!! I'll never be able to do that. I have no artistic ability whatsoever. It's just not my thing."

That was really my first mistake, comparing myself to other artists, and judging my ability to draw before I even tried. But another thing that really lowered my confidence in my artistic abilities was this one moment in my English class my Sophomore year of high school. We had this assignment to make a short comic based on the story The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allen Poe. I'm sure everyone knows that story. I did mine, and forgot to sign it at first, and my teacher saw. He was always a harsh grader, but he held up my paper, not knowing it was mine, and called it Kindergarten work. In front of the entire class. Needless to say, I was mortified. I immediately redid the assignment, losing almost all of my faith in my own artistic abilities.

But something changed when the Pandemic hit. I got an iPad, which made digital drawing so much easier and more fun. And I just had a lot of time on my hands because of lockdowns. And I thought to myself: Huh. Well, maybe I don't have to draw realistically. Maybe I can practice my drawing skills more by drawing more cartoony art.

And that's exactly what I did. And now I'm proud to say I'm actually confident in my art now!! I sort of have my own style now, which has definitely evolved over the years. I guess that's just what can happen when you practice and try to push aside the self-doubt festering in the back of your mind. It wasn't always easy, but I kept trying to encourage myself instead of just putting myself down.

Now I can proudly say that I've gotten paid for my art, and my clients were all thrilled with the results so far. And I can't wait to keep drawing for people and making them happy. I think I've definitely come a long way from so-called "Kindergarten work".

[mcmansionhell]

namesake mcmansion

Howdy folks! Today's McMansion is very special because a) we're returning to Maryland after a long time and b) because the street this McMansion is on is the same as my name. (It was not named after me.) Hence, it is my personal McMansion, which I guess is somewhat like when people used to by the name rights to stars even though it was pretty much a scam. (Shout out btw to my patron Andros who submitted this house to be roasted live on the McMansion Hell Patreon Livestream)

As far as namesake McMansions go, this one is pretty good in the sense that it is high up there on the ol' McMansion scale. Built in 2011, this psuedo-Georgian bad boy boasts 6 bedrooms and 9.5 baths, all totaling around 12,000 square feet. It'll run you 2.5 million which, safe to say, is exponentially larger than its namesake's net worth.

Now, 2011 was an anonymous year for home design, lingering in the dead period between the 2008 black hole and 2013 when the market started to actually, finally, steadily recover. As a result a lot of houses from this time basically look like 2000s McMansions but slightly less outrageous in order to quell recession-era shame.

I'm going to be so serious here and say that the crown molding in this room is a crime against architecture, a crime against what humankind is able to accomplish with mass produced millwork, and also a general affront to common sense. I hate it so much that the more I look at it the more angry I become and that's really not healthy for me so, moving on.

Actually, aside from the fake 2010s distressed polyester rug the rest of this room is literally, basically Windows 98 themed.

I feel like the era of massive, hefty sets of coordinated furniture are over. However, we're the one's actually missing out by not wanting this stuff because we will never see furniture made with real wood instead of various shades of MDF or particleboard ever again.

This is a top 10 on the scale of "least logical kitchen I've ever seen." It's as though the designers engineered this kitchen so that whoever's cooking has to take the most steps humanly possible.

Do you ever see a window configuration so obviously made up by window companies in the 1980s that you almost have to hand it to them? You're literally letting all that warmth from the fire just disappear. But whatever I guess it's fine since we basically just LARP fire now.

Feminism win because women's spaces are prioritized in a shared area or feminism loss because this is basically the bathroom vanity version of women be shopping? (It's the latter.)

I couldn't get to all of this house because there were literally over a hundred photos in the listing but there are so many spaces in here that are basically just half-empty voids, and if not that then actually, literally unfinished. It's giving recession. Anyway, now for the best part:

Not only is this the NBA Backrooms but it's also just a nonsensical basketball court. Tile floors? No lines? Just free balling in the void?

Oh, well I bet the rear exterior is totally normal.

Not to be all sincere about it but much like yours truly who has waited until the literal last second to post this McMansion, this house really is the epitome of hubris all around. Except the house's hubris is specific to this moment in time, a time when gas was like $2/gallon. It's climate hubris. It's a testimony to just how much energy the top 1% of income earners make compared to the rest of us. I have a single window unit. This house has four air conditioning condensers. That's before we get to the monoculture, pesticide-dependent lawn or the three car garage or the asphalt driveway or the roof that'll cost almost as much as the house to replace. We really did think it would all be endless. Oops.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!

[willowfey]

(ignore this it’s basically just a mopey diary entry that for some reason i like whispering into the void of the internet instead but i’m fine)

[gogotti]

Michael Myers/GN! Reader - NSFW

Here we go again with another Michael fic, this time it’s Kinktober and not just me horny posting on main LMFAO

This fic's prompt was Humping

WARNINGS: Michael humps you so nsfw, Michael pins the reader down but reader is into it. This is the tamest thing I’ve written in months so there’s not much else I can add warning wise.

It wasn't often that the massive man who occupied your home needed something from you other than basic necessities, but it was a nightmare trying to figure out when he did. Michael didn't talk and didn't bother trying other ways of communication, so he was basically a brick wall that moved around and routinely demanded food from you. Most days, when he'd decided that he wanted to be difficult, you'd struggle endlessly trying to figure out what he wanted, but this time you tried something different. Your plan was to give him a list of all of the things you could offer him at the moment, and then get him what he needed, simple enough. You went through the entire list, even adding things onto the list that you didn't even want to do, just to not get any response from him. After the second attempt, you didn't even bother anymore, instead staring at him in silence. He still didn't acknowledge you at all, not even by tossing an unopened piece of candy in your face like he normally would have. To say you were confused was an understatement, and you couldn't help but let fear crawl up your spine.

You didn't think he was sad or anything since he wouldn't be sitting on your couch clean if that were the case, and if he were hungry he would have already picked you up from your spot at the other end of the couch and placed you in front of the fridge. You slowly scooched over to him, keeping a safe distance just in case he was in one of his choking moods.

“Michael? You okay?”

Obviously, he didn't respond, and a part of you wanted to go back to your comfy spot and relax again, but you knew whatever his problem was would become a you problem if left alone. You reached out to touch his shoulder and Michael quickly took the opportunity to grab at your wrist and use his strength to twist you around and lay you flat on your stomach. You could only sigh uncomfortably, letting him adjust you to his liking before resting his body weight on you. You couldn’t stop him, you could only let your eyes widen slightly as you felt the source of his problems rest on your ass.

“oh.”

He huffed at you, grabbing your waist and seemingly feeling things out for a while. He didn't make much noise as he did this and only seemed to get impatient since he couldn't properly help himself. You sat in silence for a moment, contemplating whether or not to help him or let his frustration get the better of him, which would most likely end up with someone's dead relative on the news the next moring. You sighed again, you were not going to let innocent people die all because the infamous Michael Myers couldn’t figure out how to hump you properly. 

You arched your back, trying to angle yourself into a good position to make things easier for him. You succeeded in this, as the next time Michael grinded against you he let out the shakiest of sighs. You couldn't help but feel accomplished as he quickly found a rhythm; you also couldn't help the fact that with every low groan Michael let out above you, you felt a shock of pleasure hit you where it counts.  

He suddenly repositioned, now using one hand to grab onto your hip tightly and the other was placed above your head for stability. He picked up the pace as he humped you, the change in stance now giving him the friction he needed, and you could hear how much he enjoyed it. Low groans, grunts, and occasional growls left his mouth and left you a silent mess. You didn't know he would be so noisy but you couldn't care less, as every sound that spilled from his mouth you happily relished in, letting your mind wander to places you wouldn't have dared think about before this moment. 

You felt his humping become sloppy, and listened to his groans turn into huffs as he got closer to cumming.  Suddenly, he came crashing down on top of you, his arms now positioned above your head and his body completely engulfing yours, still humping you desperately as he almost silently whimpered at the feeling.

Once he stopped moving, he breathed heavily above you, and you relaxed your body, muscles slightly sore from holding the position for so long. The peace only lasted a short moment before Michael got up, not caring about you resting underneath him. You could only peek at him as he walked to the bathroom, catching a quick glimpse of the dark spot on the sweatpants he was wearing. 

You sat up slowly, the only things on your mind at the moment were mentally reviewing everything that happened for fuel on lonesome nights, and the creeping suspicion that this might become a regular occurrence. Either way, the result of either thought didn't bother you. In fact, the thought of the big bad Michael Myers humping you as if his life depended on it was something you quietly hoped for.

[russellsppttemplates]

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you (Lando Norris)

Your new job is allowing you to have new experiences, and your heart is not too mad about it either

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time in the books, I'm finally writing for Lando! This is my first long piece and I hope I did well enough!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: curse words, mentions alcohol consumption

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"I'm just saying, it's closer that way. We can go and get the packages ourselves and sort out any issues with them straight away", Lando reasoned, opening his text message app so he could continue what he wanted to do. "Okay, fine by me. He's got a point, Y/N", Max raised his hands in surrender, looking at you for your opinion.

Working for Quadrant hadn't been a goal you had set out to accomplish in the strict sense of it. You didn't see yourself working for a massive company where people were stuffed in offices where the only way they could know their colleagues' names was when they had online meetings that took far too long and discussed the baseline of the issues. So, when you saw the job offer for someone in the Graphic Design area of work, you looked up the company name and saw their work, fascinated with how the guys had grown this business from streaming online gaming. Later, as you progressed in the recruitment process, you came to learn that Lando and Max also had a more public presence than you had initially figured out, despite all of your friends' insistence that "you can't be that clueless, Y/N, how did you not know that Quadrant was Lando Norris'? I thought you applied because of that", they would say as you shrugged your shoulders, "in this economy, do you think I am that picky about a job? I have my preferences, sure, but I know what I'm worth and I saw the offer was actually quite okay!", you defended yourself.

You ended up getting the spot and, so far, you couldn't complain. Most of the time you worked with Callum, Max and Tara, since your work overlapped with theirs, and every now and again, like right now, Lando would also meet up with you.

"Are you sure it's fine if I go? Your parents know Max, but they haven't met me before. Are you sure they won't find it weird?", you spoke directly to Lando, thinking that his idea, as lovely and kind as it was, didn't account for the facts you were stating.

"Max is coming because he's from the team, and you're from the team, too, so you're coming with us as well", Lando said simply, not seeing the problem.

"But he's been your friend for so long now, I'm a Quadrant Team member", you attempted again, "they don't have to provide for and give a roof to a stranger, I'll find an hotel to spend the night", you offered, wanting to be clear about it.

"You're part of the team, too! Don't worry about that, okay?", Lando said, "besides, mum loves having a full house, she's definitely the host of the family", he smiled, checking the item on his list nd carrying on the meeting.

"When we're there, we'll be able to get our hands on the embroidered Originals collection", Max began, "hopefully they're perfect and we can start working on the website", he gestured as you turned your laptop so they both could see, "this is the concept I've come up with, since this isn't as flashy or as colourful as past collections", you showed them the mood board, looking for disapproval signs but being met with looks of surprise instead, "I know it's not usually what you go for, so I also have another idea here, if you just let m-", you were about to change when Lando slapped your hand away from the mouse and holding it in his, "I really like this one, especially these posts here, I think the ideas are great!", he noted as he set your hand down on the table, "okay, then I can keep working on this", you said, closing the other tab, "do you have something better than this?", Max asked, "seems as good to me!", he offered.

"This is just a draft, I'll invest more time in this and I'll have it ready for the end of the week. That way we can have it ready when the clothes arrive. I'll text Tara to ler her know", you smiled, grabbing your phone as the boys flickered through the ideas, pointing out the different details they liked and wanted to keep.

.

"I'm way too young for my life to be just this, so please drive safely, Max", you said, buckling your seatbelt and exaggerating your hold on the door handle, "if you weren't such a crucial part of this team, I'd make you reconsider your jokes", he teased back, reversing out of the parking space and initiating the trip.

Lando was already at his parents' house since they had a family gathering the day before, so you and Max were driving up to meet him, "they're really nice people, really chilled as well", Max began, "Adam and Cisca, that is. I can hear you thinking and I'm assuming that is what's going on in your head", he stated.

"I don't want to step on anyone's toes, and I don't want to embarrass anyone or myself even. Can you imagine Lando's parents finding out their son's company has questionable employees? They'll mark me off as some sort of strategy fool or think that I want to take this company down, and I don't!", you uttered out, sharing more than you meant to.

Impostor's Syndrome was a bitch, and it often showed up the moment things got progressively harder, and while you knew you were able to deal with it, the little voice still nagged you.

"Y/N, you're one of the most valuable people we have on the team, and I don't say that lightly. This is Lando's baby, and yes, he's the face of it and that counts for most of it, but the work behind it is just as important and with the numbers we're having, it all comes down to you. Since you joined us the designing aspect of it, - obviously, you wouldn't be the one responsible for accounting, duh -, the compliments have been non stop, it has improved the interactions, too!", he said honestly, "you have nothing to worry about, truly", he comforted, "it's this exit here", he mumbled, checking the GPS and turning on the blinker, slowing down the car as they entered the city.

You didn't have to wait long before he pulled up to a big house, the gravel sound quieting down until it came to a halt when Max stopped the car, "Lando said he'd meet us at the door, I really don't fancy being mistaken by a burglar", he joked, getting out of the car as you did the same, stretching your legs and taking in the sight.

"Max, Y/N! Did you have a good trip?", Lando made himself be heard and seen, walking up to you and grabbing the bags his friend was taking out of the car boot, "I'll take these", he offered, picking up your luggage as you pulled on your backpack, "thanks", you smiled, following him as he led the way into his parents' house.

"My parents are in the kitchen", the Formula One driver said, ushering you to the roomy space after he and Max dropped the bags by the stairs, "Max, dear! We haven't seen you in so long, how are you?", a beautiful woman said. Her hair was brown and her skin was tanned as she hugged Max and Lando, "this is Y/N, she is our graphic designer", he presented you, the older man hugging you and his wife doing the same, "I'm Adam, it's so nice to finally meet you", he smiled warmly, "likewise", you smiled back.

"You can call me Cisca, darling. We've heard so much about you, it's nice to finally put a face to the name", she winked at you as you didn't miss Lando elbowing his mother as he closed his eyes, sighing at her, "thank you for having me over, I hope it's not too much trouble", you thanked again, feeling more at ease at their genuine welcoming greetings.

Lando quickly scrambled an answer, seemingly not wanting his parents to talk, "of course it's fine, no trouble here! Let's get your things upstairs so we can settle in and work!", he clapped his hands, walking to the corridor and up the stairs with Max as you excused yourself.

"This is your room, you have the bathroom on the next door", he pointed on the corridor after he placed your bag and backpack down in the small sofa, "Max is in the office, it's just across the hall and I'm at the end of the hall, if you need anything", Lando offered.

"Thanks, again. Do you guys want to begin now? I just need to put on some fluffy socks and I'm good to go", you said, "yes! Is the dining room okay with your parents? The table is big enough to layout everyhting", Max chirped in, whistling at your room as he looked around, "she got an upgrade, good move!", he tapped his friend's back.

After Lando cleared it with his parents, he was quick to remove the table runner and flower vase from the dining room table, extending it to its biggest size so you had all the space you needed, "you can sit here, Y/N, it's usually where the room heats up faster", he pointed out the radiator, pulling up the chair next to your and typing on his iPad.

"So this is the video idea? I like it, we just need to find some background music for it", Max asserted, grabbing his phone to check the time, "we should get going to pick up the order", he uttered.

"Do you need all of us to go?", you asked, saying the changes in your laptop as you did,

"You can pull your the backseats of your car down, can't you, Max? That way we can bring more boxes, and you and me go", Lando reasoned, looking over at you, "do you mind staying here while we go get them?", he asked, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable.

"I'll be fine, you go", you smiled, opening your notebook and writing down some notes.

"Oh, darling, you could've turned the lights on. Soon enough you'll be like me and need glasses", Cisca said as she stood on by the door, flickering the lights on as your eyes got used to the brightness, "I already wear them, or I should more often anyway", you blushed, suddenly getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar, grabbing your case from your backpack and putting them on.

When Lando and Max left, you decided to work on the website graphics, checking how the campaign would work with the current layout, that you lost track of time.

"May I see what you're working on?", she asked, "it's okay if I may not, I don't want to intrude", she smiled as you pulled up the chair next to you, "I don't know much about these things, but I always get quite fascinated with this part", she said, sitting down and looking at the screen.

Already driving back home, Lando and Max talked about the plans once they arrived, "and that way Y/N can also finish the social media stuff, and maybe you'll have more time to actually make a move on her", he teased.

Lando scoffed, "I'm not trying to make a move on her", he defended himself, "I'm glad to know, because if those moves were what you had, it wouldn't surprise it that it didn't go very far", Max yelped as his friend took the opportunity of the straight road ahead to hit his thigh, "so that's what you talk about? Here I am thinking about business and you're meddling in my love life?".

"I never said it was love life, but since you've admitted it, it's saving me time. So, what are you planning? I could help since this seems to be stalled", Max tried again, holding his hands in protection of his body in case Lando hit him again.

"I wouldn't know where to begin, I mean, it will make things awkward if this goes south, right? I'd never be able to look at her again, much less work with her", Lando admitted, "She's very kept to herself as well, I highly doubt that she'll want to be involved with me in that way. Whoever I date or interact with has to deal with enormous amount of public eye and I wouldn't spring that up on her", Lando mumbled, taking the road exit on his left.

"So you've given this some thought, too. Here we are thinking you're coming to the meetings to help and now you're just blushing when we talk about Y/N", Max joked back as Lando shook his head.

"We're back!", Lando announced, walking inside the dining room while pushing the boxes with Max, "don't worry, mum, we're not scratching the floors", he said, sweetly kissing the side of her head, "are you planning to work for us?", he noticed she was sitting next to you, notebooks of the projects open and sheets and fabrics all over the table in front of you.

"Y/N was kindly showing me the project you're working on, for the launch, and it looks really nice!", she complimented, placing a hand on your shoulder and the other on your arm, "she's been showing me everything, I've probably stolen some valuable time from you, darling, I'm sorry", she slumped her shoulders slightly, "not at all, it's all under way, don't worry", you smiled, easing her worries, "I'll leave you guys to it, how about I make some tea?", she suggest as the three of you nodded.

"We have the boxes here, they're sorted by colours", Lando opened the first box, "these are only for the Originals collection, right?", you checked over, peaking at the blue hoodie he pulled out.

"The sizing is right, right?", Max wondered as Lando stretched it out, "Y/N, can you try these, please? We need to check if the model is good for guys and girls".

Getting up from your spot, you grabbed the vibrant blue piece, feeling its soft texture against your fingertips, "I have wider hips that average, I'm not sure I'm the greatest test model for that", you shrugged your shoulders, "keep that in mind". Taking off your sweater so your torso was covered in a strappy top, you pulled the new garment on, adjusting the strings around the neck so you could pull it all the way down, "Oh, it's so soft", you noticed, "and warm, too. And feels quite good actually, it's not too tight", fumbling with the ribbed material on the bottom as you checked yourself out on the windows now that it was dark outside.

Lando gulped as you did so. Oh, had Lando noticed your hips. To anyone else, it would be another feature of your body, but he was enamoured by them. Your body's curvy outline enticed him and he would be lying if he said that it wasn't the first thing he noticed at first glance when you arrived for you last interview, especially with the tapered pants you had been wearing.

"Looks nice. What do you think, mate?", Max turned to Lando, hoping to get an answer but finding him looking at you, "is there something wrong? I told you I'm not the best mo-".

"It's gorgeous, looks gorgeous", he breathed out just as his mother walked inside carrying a tray with tea and some biscuits, "Here's the tea, guys", she said, setting it on the table, "wow, that's a very nice piece!", she complimented.

"It is, isn't it, Cisca?", Max said, covering up her son as he kept looking at you as you tested the front pocket, not noticing his gaze on you.

"You also have a very beautiful model, you can't ignore that factor in the equation", she complimented you while you grabbed a mug, taking a sip of the warm liquid and hoping it hid your pink cheeks, "thank you", you whispered.

While Lando helped his father with dinner, Max convinced his mother to show you both family albums, and once you had the delicious food they prepared, you excused yourself so you could use the shower, wanting to wash the day of travelling away. Max and Cisca stayed in the living room while Lando helped his father prepare dessert, checking on the apple crumble in the oven so it could get golden brown and not burnt, "so, any life updates recently?", the older man asked.

Lando wasn't around as much as they both would've liked, so often times his visits also came along with news and updates, "not much, racing has been good, it's nice to have a break now, even if it's just two weeks", he offered, looking at the oven.

"And nothing else? I mean, no one special? Your mother is usually the blunt one, but I'm going to try it myself: Y/N is just a Quadrant Team Member?", Adam questioned, noticing his son's cheeks become redder.

"Is it that noticeable? I just hope she doesn't see it as much as you do", Lando groaned, rubbing his cheeks, "maybe you should hope she notices, you know? Maybe she'll admit she likes you, too. You never know", Adam patted his son's back, grabbing the gloves so he could take the tray out of the oven, "she seems like a really nice girl, kind, good work ethic, intelligent, and she's beautiful", he finished as his son sighed, grabbing the vanilla ice cream from the freezer, "she's all of that and so much more".

.

"Kygo is doing a set tonight", you heard Max say as you walked inside the living room, taking the spot on the sofa next to Lando since his mother had taken your previous spot when you went to use the bathroom, "I've been meaning to ask you guys if you wanted to go, actually. He texted me saying to tell him if we were planning on going", Lando stated.

"Go and enjoy being young, life is not all about work if you can't enjoy yourself", Cisca shared, "dad and I won't complain if you make noise when you get back", she winked.

"Would you like to go, Y/N? You can say no, that's fine, too", Lando turned to you. He knew Max would be down on a heartbeat, but he didn't want you to feel pressured to do something you didn't want to because you were at his parents' place as a guest.

"I'm good, I like his music, too. I've been wanting to see him live for a bit, actually", you smiled, thinking about how lucky you were to be able to have these experiences because of your job and friends.

Later that night, you're getting ready in your room, sitting on the carpeted floor and applying your make-up for the occasion. The dressier outfit you had brought with you consisted of a burnt red top and some pants as it had become the outfit you had felt the most comfortable and confident in to go out. The top complimented your chest and your midsection as your pants looked really good around your hips and butt, your legs elongated by the small heeled shoes you had spent years looking for. They were comfortable, pretty and functional, ticking all the boxes for what you needed for tonight.

"Y/N, can I come in?", your heard Lando knock on the door, welcoming himself when you said he could, "we are leaving in about ten minutes, if that's okay", he said, taking a good look at you as you fiddled with your earring, "yes, fine by me", you smiled looking back in the mirror propped on the bedside table and finally clasping it, looking back at him.

You took his breath away. It was as simple as that. Your hair had your natural curls he loved so much, your makeup complimented your naturally soft beautiful features and your outfit made you look incredible.

"You guys ready?", Max patted the door, propping himself on it as you grabbed your shoes, "I'll put them on downstairs", you said, carrying them in your right hand as you had your small purse on the left.

While you did the small, dainty tie on your shoes, Lando's eyes went straight for your chest, the slightly bent down position granting him an agonisingly teasing angle as he tried his best to look away, "you might want to be less obvious, you don't need to creep her out to get her to be yours", Max whispered in Lando's ear.

As soon as you arrived, Lando and Max walked with you to the VIP area, asking you what you wanted to drink before they went up to get it.

Lando looked great on his white shirt, the light coloured shirt looking great against his tanned skin as the relaxed fit complimented his back, prompting you to make sure you weren't drooling in public. You worked for his company, it would never be a good idea to get romantically involved with him, no matter how many times your heart leaped.

"A very weak Gin and Tonic for you, as requested", Max said as he pushed the cup towards you, carrying nother drink for himself, Lando sitting next to you on the booth and empty handed, "you're not drinking?", you asked, "I'm driving us all home today, I'm want to do it safely", he stated, tapping his hands on the table when he saw Kygo, signalling him to approach you.

"Hey Lando, Max", he smiled, "I'm Y/N, I work for Quadrant", you smiled, greeting him with a half hug as he introduced himself too, "my set is in a few minutes, you got here just in time. If you want to see it up close, Y/N, let me know and I'll make it happen", he winked at you.

The wink was not missed by Lando or Max. While Max wanted to laugh at his friend's jealous expression, threatening to send the norwegian DJ to a place that was less than nice and sunny, Lando couldn't believe his eyes. Yes, it was only fair that others, too, saw your beauty and noticed you, but to put themselves out like that, that was a different story. You didn't seem to bothered by all of it, sipping on your drink as you spoke to Max, pointing out different people you remember from Silverstone earlier that year.

"Kygo's starting, I want to dance!", you said, getting up and gesturing for the boys to join you. While you were used to having a lot less space to dance in, the welcomed freedom was appreciated as you playfully placed your pointer finger on Max's head, making him do a little spin, "now, no need to be jealous, Lando, you can twirl, too!", you yelled over the music blasting from the speakers, doing the same and sinking your finger on Lando's curls.

"I'm going to get another drink, want anything?", Max asked, excusing himself when you shook your head, "you know you can drink, I'm the designated driver", Lando offered, "I know, thank you for that. I just don't want to drink more", you smiled, recognising the next song, feeling brave and pulling Lando by his hand so he could dance with you.

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

And I know when it rains, oh, it pours

And I know I was born to be yours

Lando twirled you would face him, chest flush against his as his colourful eyes looked into yours intensely, "I know this is very forward, and very unlike me to be fair, but I need to get it out", he gulped as he spoke loudly in your ear, looking for any sign of discomfort from you, "I really like you, like, a lot. And I would like to know if you feel the same. Because Max and my parents seem to think you do, but all I know they're just saying so that I shut up about how much I love you and how much it would mean to me", he spoke loudly against your ear as the song played.

You were struck by his confession, not expecting it to ever happen, much less like this and in these circumstances.

"If you consider this a hostile work environment, I didn't want that, but I had to be honest with you", he gulped, "just say you don't feel the same and I'll drop the subject, okay? I might have to pretend to go somewhere else so I can be away from you a bit until things are not awkward, but don't worry, I won't drink because I'm driving and-", Lando belted out before you interrupted him, moving your face closer to his neck this time and speaking into his ear, "It's not hostile if it's consensual, right?", you smiled, a glint in your eye as his own widened, chuckling as he sang the the words in your ear, taking the opportunity to kiss your cheek near your earlobe.

"Took you two fucking long enough!", Max yelled as he approached you, tapping Lando's back in congratulations, "you know what this means, Y/N? I won't have to listen to him mope about how he thinks he was made for you and you were made for him, and that the universe would have to be playing a very bad joke of you two didn't end up together!".

"What makes you think I'll stop that? I just got the girl of my dreams, now I'll have the confirmations of all I've said! You'll just hear how amazing all of it is!", Lando smiled, hugging you close to him and kissing the top of your head.

[freedelusionshere]

I want to know what Carmy means to Syd in S4. Obviously he inspired her with that dish, but it’s so loaded; that dish was made out of grief and blatant rebellion against Chef David trying to change it and make it his. For all we know it’s the last thing Carmy sent out before he quit!

We know she wants him to collaborate with her and she likes his drawings, so to me that means she wants something pretty deep, that is almost hidden from others, even though she downplays it and acts chill.

I feel like that is ultimately what connects them? They want to do something different, they know that something better/more is possible? But it requires them knowing each other very deeply to accomplish it (what Marcus said about looking at each other up close). Not just repeating patterns and systems that came before, but making something new that’s of both of them.

And they’re both young and ambitious. Carmy, for his part immediately catches on that Syd is a catalyst for change and he doesn’t really doubt her even though he massively blows up on her in S1. He ducks her in S2 because he doesn’t know how to build a restaurant from the ground up and it backfires because he realizes she can do this without him and it terrifies him. In S3 he wants her to need him again and turns control freak. He feels at peace around her (which is what he says he wants in Legacy) but does he know why yet? I’m thinking maybe he realizes it by the S3 finale.

Carmy learns a lot about Syd in S3 just by intensely watching her. That she’s already got a better handle on the kitchen than he does (I would imagine most of the staff are loyal to her after his antics) in a shorter period of time than all his training. I imagine he finds some hope in that even as he suspects she’s pulling away from him.

But I need to know what Syd is after and why she stuck it out. I need it said and not just implied.

[brain-works]

um he literally said you have to have respect for trump… in many ways even…

ooh I love this one! and to be clear, whatever I say here, this is no hate to you anon, assuming you're saying this in good faith. and also thank you for actually answering my last post with an ask, I love a good excuse to write an essay.

ALSO before I start: if anyone dares to come into my replies saying that I'm biased - yes I am. I've never denied that. if you haven't picked up on that by now I really don't know what you're doing on my blog. that being said, I also try to look at full contexts to these situations, especially since I watched this specific press conference live.

ALSO ALSO I AM IN NO WAY A TRUMP FAN. LET ME MAKE THAT CLEAR. I AM NOT DEFENDING TRUMP OR ANY OF HIS ACTIONS, PAST OR PRESENT. now, to my argument:

the first thing I need to make very clear is the environment in which he was asked this question. it might seem inconsequential that it was a press conference, but it's actually a very important context. for one, the drivers are not allowed to simply not answer a question. that's not an option that's available to them (despite some people thinking that's the case). they must answer any questions posed by the press, whether they like it or not. they're allowed to dodge questions, sure, but the only guaranteed way to get a journalist off your back is to just give them an answer they can publish. we've seen this time and time again with different drivers. they're also not allowed to make outwardly political statements without being given a hefty fine by the FIA. saying, for example, that you don't like a former president of a country that F1 wants to continue racing in is an easy way to have this fine (and potentially worse) levied against you.

secondly, with any interview, there is a massive difference between the words presented vs. how they were said. what does this mean? well, to put it simply, sometimes intent does not come across the same in text vs. in speaking. this happens a lot with Lando's interviews, where he says something jokingly or in an unserious tone, but when his words are written down, they seem much more malicious than they actually were. I'd go hunt down examples, but I want to stay on topic.

now, exactly what he said was:

and here’s a link to the video of the interview

I'm not going to say that he didn't say, in some manner, that you have to have a lot of respect for trump. however, the way in which he said it is what matters to me.

for one, spelling out that someone, regardless of who they are, is a former president of a country and should be respected for that accomplishment is a textbook diplomatic answer. again, this is regardless of who they are. I guarantee you he would've said the same thing about any other political figure in any other context, because this is a safe answer. he's not definitively praising anyone, and he's not bringing anyone down. this is not the response of someone who is a big fan of trump. this is the generic, PR-guided response of someone who can't say anything negative, but doesn't want to say anything too outwardly positive.

notice, for example, how he says that trump said that he was Lando's lucky charm. it would've been easy for him to state that he thought that trump was his lucky charm, but he did not. he could've even said that he hopes that trump comes to future races. again, he did not. this is an important distinction, if a small one. anyways, his body language and facial expressions also make his stance clear. he's not happy to be asked this question, he clearly does not want to answer it. in fact, as soon as he starts answering, you can see him slip into that PR mode as his face drops and he starts giving his response. this is not how someone answers a question about someone they like! and this response, once again, is very generic. he literally only mentions trump by name once throughout his actual response, and without that you could assume he was talking about literally anyone else.

for two, idk about you, but when I'm forced to publicly interact with people I don't like, regardless of the context, I don't usually insult them to their face, because that makes me look bad. and I don't usually have half the amount of cameras on me that Lando does. generally speaking, it's also not a good idea to get on the bad side of someone with as much political power as trump. we all know who he is, and we know that the people that support him can resort to dangerous actions when someone says anything remotely negative about him. so, if remaining neutral is the most negative you can be, then that's the way to go. he had no way to avoid trump - he was literally brought directly to him to shake hands - and was asked a question directly connected to trump.

saying that you have to have respect for someone in a lot of ways is not an inherently positive statement. in fact, something I say a lot of the time when I don't like a celebrity is that I respect their accomplishments, but I don't like their personality. I'm not saying this justifies Lando's response, but I am saying that if you were put in a similar situation, where you're asked a question that demands you speak positively about someone regardless of what you think about them personally (especially if your opinion is negative), you'd have a harder time answering than you think you would.

and finally, Lando is not a US citizen. he does not know the political turmoil happening in this country personally, and I wouldn't be surprised if he only knew the bare minimum of why trump is a bad person, rather than the full itemized list that Americans are very familiar with. at the end of the day, even if he was a trump fan (he's not), he does not vote in the US, nor does he have any sway over actual US voters. we all know the rhetoric of people who like trump, and nothing Lando said personally sets off any alarm bells. I'll admit that I don't love the way he phrased it, but if I could go on another whole tangent about how I hate the way that Lando's (sometimes awkward) phrasing gets misrepresented in text vs. in speech.

bonus round: if you wanted to get upset at drivers interacting with controversial figures, might I direct you to the time that Lewis Hamilton (allegedly) sprayed putin with champagne. obviously this article is tabloid-esque, but you get what I'm saying. this isn't a dig at Lewis, btw, it's just my way of pointing out that it's not new for drivers to be faced with impossible situations regarding political figures.

tl;dr if Lando wanted to say something outwardly positive about trump, he would've had the space to, but he purposefully kept it vague and generic, and that means something. these drivers cannot speak as freely as we often (mistakenly) think they can, and it's important to understand the full context of a situation rather than assume bad intentions.

[anonymous-archive]

lmao @ this reblog “calling me out” and then blocking me despite apparently beforehand nearly deciding not to quietly block & report me instead of that giant wall of useless text like… i honestly didn’t know how to react/respond initially other than “holy shit dude that’s crazy” and then laugh incredulously but here we go since i’m petty:

first, this is a burner blog i made a week ago maximum and it only has 5 posts (excluding this one) so i’m not sure what you think you’re accomplishing here since i could & would just make another one and repost it all again? i’m under the impression that what would actually happen is the original posts themselves as well as any reblogs get taken down rather than the overall blogs themselves, but if i’m wrong then see above lol.

second, my bad for trying to genuinely, helpfully inform you that unfortunately many others out there don’t have the capacity to realize that you are not an anti and/or won’t read the entire post before assuming. this in turn might hurt your own community since stolitz stans may want to protect themselves from even potentially reading something they consider hurtful and therefore not wasting time by risking it. in fact you just proved my point by reacting and attempting to keep yourself safe from, what, leaks that were hidden behind an active choice to click? i as an individual don’t care that you like that ship so i wasn’t here to harass you or whatever. i didn’t think anything of you for it, that’s not why i spoke up.

third, clearly some people don’t understand “don’t like, don’t engage/read/watch/etc.” especially if you already know the content will upset you! also this large & loud fandom has never learned to keep controversial things on the down-low and ignore it in order to avoid gaining too much attention and inadvertently advertising it to people who otherwise wouldn’t know, but what else can i expect when y’all worship your annoying lord and savior ayylmao? so congrats on opening up the chance for someone to stumble upon your unnecessarily massive post and wanting to take a peek! you can’t control your followers/lurkers so that would be hilarious!

by the way, if you somehow do end up finding what my other hellaverse-critical blog is then… okay that’s fine. it’s not very big and it’d be disappointing if attacked but not a big deal. like i said, it’s easy to move & remake. hate to tell the truth but you do not have the power you wish you had here.

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 28

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. Please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of violence, rape, therapy, depression

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

My new-found insomnia has me up before dawn, so I pull out my phone and start researching affordable therapists in New York City. Unsurprisingly, their idea of “affordable” doesn’t meet mine. I very briefly consider asking Jensen to help, but I dismiss the thought just as fast. I refuse to rely on him for that, this is for me and I’ll find a way to fund it myself. So, instead, I start going over my bank account, considering my income and bills and calculating what’s left over. With the extra manager paycheck from the cafe and my measly salary from Broadway, it seems just about doable. While I’m now confident that I can do it, I also know it will eat into the tiny fund I had started to amass for Summer in Texas. I sigh and decide to put my mental health first; I choose one of the cheapest, yet still good-sounding therapists and book an appointment for later in the week. The only time available is during one of my acting classes, but I accept that this has to come first. So, feeling a slight sense of accomplishment for taking this massive step, I shut off my phone and try to go back to sleep, even for just a short nap. 

I shut my eyes and curl into the blanket, but when I open them again and check the clock, only 15 minutes have passed. I accept that I won’t be getting anymore sleep. I turn my phone back on and text Jensen.

Hey, hope this doesn’t wake you…I couldn’t sleep, but I just wanted to let you know that I booked an appointment with a therapist. You’re right, I need help to get through this, and if I ever want anything between us to be possible. And I also wanted to say thanks again for tonight.And I’d appreciate your support while I continue working through it all. Not financially, I can cover it, just you know…mentally.

I reread the texts a few times. I wait a few minutes, but when I don’t get a response I relax. As much as I’d love to talk to him, I’m glad I didn’t wake him up. I get up and tidy up the couch so it’s usable again and then go into the kitchen and try to earn my keep by making everyone breakfast. As quietly as possible, I pull out everything I need to make pancakes and bacon. I serve up four plates and make coffee to go with them, I just finish off everything as Stella and Nick come down stairs. Nick gives the set up a once over before giving me the nod of approval.

“Thanks, Y/N. I don’t often get breakfast cooked for me.”

“You’re welcome. It’s really the least I can do after everything you guys have done for me, all time but especially recently. I just want you to know that I appreciate it.”

Stella pulls me in for a big hug. “You didn’t need to do anything. You’re family ‘sides, you’ve been through a lot.”

The three of us dig in and then Anna comes down and joins us a little later. Over breakfast, I tell them about the therapy appointment I booked and create a plan for Nick to pick me up from the theatre every night and drive me either home or to their place at least until the new security guard starts at the apartment. Anna understandably gets a little upset and feels guilty and while we do our best to tell her we don’t blame her at all, I can tell she doesn’t quite accept it. 

Once Nick goes up to get in another nap and Stella goes to work, Anna and I clean up the kitchen. I use the opportunity to talk to her about it all. I tell her what I’ve been going through with the fear and the nightmares and she starts to open up a little more too. She tells me about how he was sweet in the beginning, how he used to take her out on dates around the city but then she said as they realised how expensive the city was he started to change. She tells me that he would control her spending. He talked her out of taking classes because they needed her money for the rent and groceries. And he stopped taking her out or letting her go out because it cost too much, but he would still go out every other night, only to stumble back late smelling like a liquor store had exploded on him. When she questioned him about it, that’s when the physical abuse began. Then when she struggled to find a job and her money started running out, it just got worse. He blamed her whenever their cards declined at the store and when he had to start paying rent. He then told her she’d have to earn her place in his apartment by other means, and if she tried to say no, well, it just wasn’t an option. 

Once she finishes talking we’re both in tears and the dishes have been long forgotten. I hold out my arms to offer a hug, but wait for her to come to me. When she doesn’t, I nod. We finish the dishes in heavy silence and then sit on the couch together. She flicks through the channels aimlessly, likely trying to distract herself, while I attempt to work on an assignment. After a while my phone buzzes on the couch beside us. She stiffens briefly then looks down and reads the name and relaxes.

“It’s your actor friend…” she says. 

I nod. “Yeah. I can call him back later though if you need me.”

“Thanks. I’m okay though.” Then after a beat she adds, “Is he nice, like Nick?”

I nod. “Yeah. He is,” I reply without a second thought. Then I answer the call without getting up. “Hey Jens.”

“Hey, Darlin’. I’m proud of you. And of course I’ll be your support! Whatever you need, I’m here. As long as it takes.”

“Thanks.” I look over at Anna briefly and then add, “Hey Jens, can you promise me that you’re one of the good ones?”

“I could but you shouldn’t believe me. I want to do my best but you’re the one who’s been through it before. All I can promise is that if I ever make you uncomfortable, I’ll do my best to make it better. As long as you tell me your boundaries, I’ll do my best not to cross them.”

Anna looks over and I can tell she heard him in the quiet of the room. I smile at her and nod. And she quietly asks, “does he have any single friends?”

He hears her and says, “Am I on speaker?”

“Not exactly, but it is quiet here.”

“That’s okay. Well, that was Anna, right? If you can hear me now…” I put the phone on speaker for her. “I do, but you’ll find the right guy on your own when you’re ready and when the time is right. You never know when the right one will come into your life and spill a coffee on you.” 

Anna looks at me, “He spilled coffee on you?”

I shake my head, “I spilled one on him.”

She laughs and it’s beautiful. And then Jensen joins in with a sarcastic scoff, “I’m glad you girls find my pain amusing…”

Looking back at Anna, I give her a small smile. “He’s right though. When the time is right and when you’re ready you will find Mr Right.”

Jensen adds, “And even if you’re not quite ready, the right guy will understand and wait for you and support you until you are.”

I almost blurt out three little words that would potentially change everything, but I stop myself because I know he wouldn’t hear them for how I mean them, plus when I do say them, I want them to mean the same to both of us. 

Anna moves to get up, “I’ll uh, let you guys talk.”

I gently place my hand on her arm. “It’s okay, you can stay.”

“Yeah, Anna, don’t go,” Jensen pipes up. “I can’t talk long anyway, they’re gonna call me for hair and makeup soon. I just wanted to check in.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Have fun on set, Winchester.”

“You ladies have a wonderful afternoon too. I’ll call you tonight, Darlin’”

“Alright, talk later.”

Anna sheepishly says, “Bye, Jensen. Thanks.”

“Anytime.�� He hangs up and she relaxes back into the couch. 

“He’s nice.” 

“Yeah, he is.”

Anna puts some afternoon TV talk shows on and I go back to my assignment until an hour before I have to go to the theatre. Nick comes downstairs and throws together an early dinner for the three of us. While he cooks, I quickly shower and borrow another outfit off Stella, knowing she won’t mind. After we eat, Nick drives me to the theatre on his way to work. He points out exactly where he’ll be waiting to pick me up. 

I go inside and straight into the dressing room to change into my costume and start doing my hair and makeup. Just as I’m almost done the stage manager comes up behind me.

“Get changed, you’re stepping in as Sandy for the first act tonight and possibly the second if Mary doesn’t show up.”

“What?” I say in shock.

“Did I stutter?” I shake my head. “I didn’t think so.” I look over at Alyssa and she shrugs. It takes me a few minutes to compute what’s happening. Aly grabs the other costume and then drags me out of the chair. 

“Come on, this is the dream! Get changed! I’ll help with your hair and makeup after.”

Finally coming to my senses a little with Aly’s help I quickly change costumes and let her redo my hair and makeup for Sandy. As more of the cast fills in, we find out that the Mary had a last minute family emergency and that no one has seen the other understudy since the live shows started. As Aly’s helping me get ready I run over the lines, trying to stay as calm as possible. Once I’m ready we have 15 minutes to curtains. I quickly call Jensen hoping he picks up. I give it four rings before he answers.

“Hey Darl, what’s up? You okay? I’m on set, I can’t really talk right n-”

“No! I’m going on stage in 15 as the lead! I can’t do it!”

“Okay, Okay. Yes you can! Take a breath for me. You’re gonna knock this out of the park. You’ve been working hard for this. You’re gonna be an amazing, Sandy! Just focus on your lines, play off your co-star who’s been doing this longer and show off those amazing skills of yours. You’re gonna do amazing, I just wish I could be there to see it.”

“Thanks, Jens.”

“I’m so sorry, but I really have to go, but you’re gonna be so good! You got this!” He hangs up and I run back into the dressing room. I dump my phone on the bench and run up the stairs just in time for the first call. 

Jake, the actor that plays Danny takes my hand. “I wish we had more time to rehearse together, but as long as you remember the lines and follow my lead we can get through tonight.”

I nod. We switch on our mics and take our place on stage just before the curtains rise. I get one look at the massive crowd looking at just us and freeze. But Jake goes smoothly into character, makes me look at him and I do as Jensen said, let him lead me. I play off each of his lines to remember my place and lines. I’m sure everyone can see my nerves still and I feel bad that they’re not getting the best possible rendition. But I also try to let myself enjoy the experience.

Much to our dismay, Mary is still a no-show by the end of the intermission, so I go back on as Sandy. My nerves are fried by the time the curtains fall after our final bow. I’m a hair away from bursting into tears, but I pull myself together just long enough to get changed and clean off the make-up. Aly gives me a reassuring hug and assures me that I was great, but it’s hard to believe it. The only thought going through my mind is that I’m glad it’s over and I hope Mary is back from whatever the emergency was in time for tomorrow night’s show. On shaky feet, I make my way out to the parking lot to meet Nick.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala

@lmg14, @superrey, @kamisobsessed

[xiaq]

if you don't mind me asking, how do you balance work and writing? i work two part time jobs and struggle to find the energy/time to focus on writing even when i really want to. any advice?

I honestly don't do a great job of balancing work, writing, social things, home things, fitness stuff, and then just...relaxation. I'm always on the edge of burnout. Every 2-3 months, I get to a place where I feel overwhelmed, I have a good cry, I let myself off the hook for everything except work for a day or two, and then when I've rallied a bit I start the whole process over again.

And the only reason this is somewhat sustainable is that my partner does all the cooking, laundry, and most of the daily home maintenance stuff like taking out trash, checking mail, shoveling the walk, etc. We split cleaning duties on weekends and dog-walking duties through the week.

Even with that help, I typically work from 7am-4pm, take a break to walk Deacon/listen to music/shift into writing mode, and then write from 5 till dinner, sometimes through dinner if I'm on a roll. The one day a week that I climb/work out I don't write. I also don't typically write on Saturdays since those are housework/errands/social time days. Sunday is usually devoted to writing and relaxing (hockey, reading, hiking). It's a lot, even with Sunday as a "recovery" day.

I will say that just setting aside time every day with no word-count expectation made a huge difference for me. Before, I was trying to hit a certain number of words a week and then feeling like a massive failure when I couldn't achieve that. Now, I just say I have to write for at least one hour every day (other than climbing day). It doesn't matter what I accomplish during that hour, I just have to sit with the document open. On bad brain days, sometimes that means I edit what I've already got. And sometimes, even on bad brain days, I tell myself, "hey, you don't really have to write, you just have to clean up the last chapter for the next hour, no biggie" but then I have an idea and I jot down a bit of dialogue and then, well I might as well write the connecting bits, and the next thing I know it's dinner time and I have, actually, written something new. Having that freedom from a daily word count expectation greatly increased my productivity. So shoutout to my therapist for suggesting it.

Ok this is getting long, but also please just remember that writing is work. Even if you enjoy it. Even if you want to do it. It's still requires emotional and intellectual labor. And if you're already working two other jobs, that's a whole lot of work. Of course you struggle to find the energy and time to write. Because there simply are not enough hours in the day and that's not your fault. You can't budget time you don't have. So be kind to yourself. Please.

[riotwritesthings]

Hiii yellow or turquoise from the lovely pan flag If you want to <3

this is so dumb idk, I lost all control please enjoy

Fluttering Yellow and Turquoise

WinterIron - T, 1.8k - Crack, Banter

-

Tony blinks his way to consciousness and finds that he’s staring up at the warm glow of sunlight through a thick canopy of leaves.

“Ew,” he says, “why am I in a forest?”

The last thing he remembers is some kind of strange energy surging through the tower, the lights flickering and his hair standing on end, and then-

He woke up here. Tony really wishes he was more surprised.

“It’s always a portal,” he sighs as he climbs to his feet, brushing leaves and twigs from his clothes. “I better not be the only one who got caught up in this bullshit,” he grumbles, looking around.

He’s surrounded by massive trees, thick underbrush, and he doesn’t know nearly enough about plants to have a hope of figuring out where he is. He also doesn’t see anyone else around, and worst of all, the portal just had to scoop him up in the middle of getting dressed. He can already feel all the bugs coming for his bare chest and the countless parasites digging their way into his bare feet. Awesome.

After a couple seconds of mental debate, he decides to hell with the risk and shouts, "Hello?! Anyone else here? Even a rude portal-creator, maybe?"

The only reply is the soft rustle of leaves above him and the drone of insects.

“Rude,” he mutters, “they could have at least been around to pick a fight or something after magicking me here.”

He looks around again, but every direction looks the same, just trees and bushes and more trees. He’ll have to just pick a direction at random if he wants to go looking for… anything. He’s also pretty sure that the general rule is to not move when lost, but does it really count as lost when he’s been transported here against his will? And then just left alone to be eaten by insects?

“Ugh,” he groans as he swats at a bug that’s hovering around the light of the arc reactor, "this is why I hate magic. And anything even magic related, it all sucks."

From above him comes a chuckle, then a pained groan, and Tony whips his head up to find Bucky tangled in vines and dangling from thick tree branches about thirty feet above him.

“Oh hey,” Tony calls in greeting, “the portal got you too?”

“Looks like,” Bucky sighs, then starts to struggle against the vines and only accomplishes making himself swing and sway in place. “Why don’t I get to be on the ground?” He groans as he stills again.

“The portal likes me more I guess,” Tony says with a shrug, then wrinkles his nose and adds, “I’m not actually sure I’m happy about that.”

“Least you didn’ have to fall through th’ canopy,” Bucky grumbles, just loud enough for Tony to hear.

"Ooh, look who knows his forest terms," Tony says and then laughs as Bucky starts struggling uselessly again. “Do you not have a knife to cut yourself free?!”

Bucky stops wiggling to glare at him, and then reluctantly admits, “I don’t have one on me.”

“What?” Tony demands with another laugh, temporarily distracted from his anger at the mysterious portal, “Who even are you?!”

“Ha ha,” Bucky says dryly, “You know Sam won’t let me spar with concealed weapons anymore.”

“We’ve all heard the argument,” Tony says with a roll of his eyes, “One time he breaks his toes kicking you in the boot knife, and he’ll never let it go.” A thought occurs to him and he looks around the thick forest again as he asks, “So you were with Sam when the magic hit? I guess step one is figuring out if anyone else has been personally victimized by teleportation.”

"Step one should be you get up here an’ help me," Bucky says grumpily.

“Bold of you to assume I have a knife,” Tony says, “I don’t even have a shirt.” He swats at the bugs buzzing around his chest again and then starts eyeing the trunks of the trees that Bucky is tangled in, trying to figure out how the hell he’s going to do this.

The thick vines wrapped around everything give him hand-holds at least, so Tony grits his teeth and starts climbing. It’s a slow process, the air is thick with humidity, making everything slick and his bare feet slip off of the vines as he tries to make his way up. He’s pretty sure he can feel Bucky getting more and more impatient, and when Tony pauses to glance up he also feels pretty damn impatient about how little progress he’s made.

“Is this a bad time to mention I’ve never climbed a tree?” Tony asks sheepishly, risking letting go of the vines with one hand so he can wipe sweat from his forehead.

“Nah, seems pretty relevant,” Bucky replies, and it looks a lot like he’s trying to fight down a smile, “fair warning, if you fall I am gonna laugh.”

“Great encouragement,” Tony grumbles and returns his attention to climbing.

He has a couple of close calls, but he doesn’t actually fall to his probable death and manages to make his way up to where Bucky is dangling with minimum embarrassment.

“Wow, you are really tangled in here,” he says once he gets a look at how thoroughly Bucky is wrapped in vines and covered with loose leaves.

“Thanks, I hadn’ noticed,” Bucky says, his voice as dry as the desert, and Tony almost loses his hold when he can’t help but laugh.

“Stop,” Tony says, “this is gonna be the most dangerous part, don’t make me laugh. I might fall, I might cut you instead of the vines, who knows, anything could happen.” As expected, he nearly loses his balance trying to wiggle out the knife that, thank fuck, is still in the front pocket of his jeans, and Tony quickly adjusts his position so he can wrap his legs tightly around a sturdy branch. “Pole dance lessons, don’t fail me now,” he mutters under his breath, but apparently Bucky catches it.

“What?” He asks with a laugh.

“Nothing, you didn’t hear that,” Tony says quickly.

“I definitely did,” Bucky says, still laughing, “how has Rhodes never mentioned that in his ‘embarrassing Tony’ stories?”

"Because I threatened him with death," Tony hisses, “now stop laughing, I have a knife here.”

Bucky just grins at him, giving Tony’s admittedly small pocket knife a pointed look before his eyes go wide. “Is that the knife I gave you?” He asks, the teasing gone from his voice.

Tony looks at the knife thoughtfully even though he knows it is. It’s the only pocket knife he owns, because Bucky had gotten hilariously offended that he didn’t have one and had immediately pulled one out of his packet to all but force it into Tony’s hands.

“Impossible to say for sure,” Tony finally says dismissively, because it's that or admit he’s been carrying it pretty much constantly.

“Thought you weren’t gonna carry it,” Bucky says with a knowing grin that does dangerous things to Tony’s pulse.

“Shut up, I don’t know how it got in my pocket,” Tony grumbles, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks and pointedly turning his attention to cutting Bucky free. The knife is razor sharp, no doubt Bucky’s doing, and it makes quick work of the vines.

“Get my hands first,” Bucky requests, wiggling the only two fingers that apparently aren’t trapped, “I don’t wanna fall any more.”

“And here I was planning on dropping you right on your pretty face,” Tony sighs, then bites his tongue while Bucky laughs.

With each vine that he cuts through Bucky drops an inch or two, swaying in place, and every time he makes a barely audible sound that Tony is trying really hard not to laugh at. He cuts another vine and Bucky lets out a queasy groan as he drops a little further.

“Don’t throw up,” Tony pleads, and he’s only half joking.

“I do not like this,” Bucky groans and what Tony can see of his face is pale, “I changed my mind, jus’ drop me.”

“Didn’t Sam say you just- jumped out of a plane, once?” Tony has to ask as he starts slicing through the vines a little more haphazardly.

"Yeah, an’ I regretted it, but don‘t tell him that,” Bucky says with a weak huff of laughter, “‘sides, that’s different, a quick fall an’ its over. This is- ugh, jus’ hanging here- if this takes much longer I really might- Fuck!”

A bunch of the vines snap at once with a surprisingly loud sound and Bucky drops further, jerking and swearing loudly. Something catches the branch that Tony is clinging to, and he only has a split second to feel it tip with a deep groan before it breaks and Tony falls too. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to prepare himself for an abrupt meeting with the ground, but instead he feels familiar metal fingers wrap around his wrist before he comes to a sudden stop.

Tony dares to squint one eye open and finds that he’s still dangling about ten feet off the ground. The branch he was on has landed in a massive bush that Tony is very glad he’s not also in, because the leaves are rustling aggressively with the stirring of countless bugs.

“Do not drop me in the murder hornet nest,” Tony demands as he shoots a quick glance up at Bucky, who’s clinging to another branch with one hand and Tony with the other.

“It might not be anything murderous,” Bucky says, but he doesn’t sound very confident. He does tighten his grip around Tony’s wrist at least, even when Tony jerks with a yelp as an explosion of color bursts out of the bush.

“Don’t let them eat me,” Tony says in a panic, trying to pull himself up and climb Bucky’s arm as wings flutter all around him.

"Then stop moving," Bucky returns as they both swing wildly, and Tony reluctantly does.

“Oh,” he says when he finally stills enough to see the bugs, “it’s butterflies. Butterflies don’t eat people, right?”

“Pretty sure no,” Bucky replies with a snort.

Tony looks up at him again as the butterflies continue to swarm past them in a riot of yellow and turquoise wings, making their way up towards the sunlight. Bucky has a small grin on his face as he watches it, and when he notices Tony watching him he smiles wider.

“Not th’ worst time we’ve ever been victimized by magic, huh?” Bucky asks, and Tony doesn’t think he notices that a butterfly has landed on his head, slowly flapping its wings.

Tony has to swallow his heart back down where it belongs before he can grudgingly admit, “Maybe second worst.”

Bucky laughs, sending the butterfly flying again, and Tony can only smile back.

[kaile-hultner]

GoFundMe Update, 8/12/2024

Hey y'all! it's been about a week since the last GoFundMe update. We've hit a pretty predictable slow period in this fundraiser, a kind of doldrums, but I also got super busy over the last seven days, so it's all good there. So what's been going on in the past week?

To start with, as I mentioned last week I'm down to just one installment loan. This in itself has already made a massive difference just even in terms of how I'm feeling. It no longer feels like I'm being crushed by this massive weight on my shoulders or chest. I know I've mentioned this a lot, but it's such a weird feeling after experiencing the opposite for most of my adult life.

With that, things are already starting to change rapidly: my credit score has gone up 23 points in a week and a half, for example. I hate that this is even something we should have to pay attention to, but I can't help but feel relieved when number go up instead of down. The number of phone calls I'm getting per day, in the evenings, on the weekends - all the debt collection calls - has dropped dramatically. Now it's mostly just spam and companies trying to get me to take out more loans with them. I've experienced a burst of creative energy that has gotten me back in the game-playing-and-reviewing saddle - I just wrote a piece about "A Short Hike" as a donor request fulfillment exercise. (You can check that out here.) I was able to get through an entire weekend of work at my side-gig with no issues or delays—something I haven't been able to say for a few months. And when I finished that work? You'll never believe it, but I didn't feel stressed out or exhausted! I felt normal!

This doesn't automatically catapult me into 24/7 comfortable living, and now I really have to focus on the hard and dirty work of living within my means, building a budget and being an adult when it comes to daily choices, but I always knew that. This GFM has never been the magic bullet that would solve all of my problems - and I've never wanted it to be. However, it's helped assuage such a significant portion of my problems that I can focus on other things for once, and navigating that for the first time has been a pretty significant experience! This comes after months of having to transfer my paycheck from my bank to my Apple Pay account and a litany of other sketchy shit just to make sure it didn't all get swallowed up by various debt repayments and years of sometimes paying rent in parts instead of all at once. With most of that gone and cleared out, I no longer have to do all that! I don't feel like I'm constantly between a rock and a hard place, and that's… honestly pretty significant.

So what's next? Why am I still moving forward with the GFM towards $8000 and eventually $10000+?

Well, as I've said in prior updates, it's still pretty unbelievable that we reached $6500+ and I genuinely have no expectations about getting even a cent more. If nobody else donates, I think I would be pretty pleased with what this GFM was able to accomplish. But I don't think I'm totally out of the woods yet. Thanks to your help, I've upgraded from "basically completely underwater" to "balancing precariously on the edge of the dock," and there's a WORLD of difference between those two states. But that doesn't mean I don't ever again have to worry about the possibility of almost drowning.

Goal 4 would help me pay off my remaining installment loan, and with that close the book on that chapter of my life altogether. I've got these two annoying (paid monthly) loans in the background, but paying $40 and $78 a month respectively for them isn't really all that bad. It's not moving the needle the way these installment loans (paid every two weeks on my payday) were. I'd like to get rid of this final installment loan pretty quickly if possible. I'm currently just a bit under $1400 away from that goal, and I think it's pretty attainable.

Goal 5, $10,000, and Goal 6, $10,000+, are maybe my vaguest goals, so I want to flesh those out a bit. For those goals, I'm thinking of my long-term future more than anything immediate. If I can get anything past $8K, great! That will be money I put into a savings account and start adding to on my own. The reason I'm putting these goals at the end of this GFM is because in a little bit less than a year, I'm looking at the end of a pretty long arrangement I've had at the place I'm living, and the situation is that either rent is going to raise pretty significantly or (more likely) I'm going to be finding a new place to live. Having some money in savings is going to help me out with this in two ways: first, being able to pay a deposit on an apartment or absorb some of the cost of raised rent. Second, being able to put down a down payment on a car. My (smaller) worry is that, even with the radical erasure of my most immediate and crushing debts that this GFM has already afforded me, I may not have enough time to save this kind of money on my own, and/or that my credit score won't heal fast enough to qualify me for cheaper car payments, apartment deposits that aren't an arm and a leg, and so on. For context, I live in Oklahoma, which has a relatively cheap cost of living, but it's practically impossible to get around without a car as OKC's transit system is bootycheeks.

Finally (and least importantly), I promised when I set this GFM up that it would be the last time I asked for money from the Internet for this or any reason, outside of like a medical emergency. I set $10k up as a moonshot goal, something I didn't think it was possible to achieve - and yet here it is, barely $3400 away. If we make it to the end, that's gonna feel like a wild achievement! I'd finally be able to rest easy.

Here's a bad car metaphor I just thought of: you know how when you jump a car, you don't just plug up the jumper cables from one car to another and call it good when the car in need of jumping starts? You have to give it a little bit of extra juice in order for the car to restart its own charging capacity? That's kind of what this GFM is. I'm the car being jumped. The fundraiser is the other car revving its engine and giving me a bit of extra juice after I was able to start my own engine again.

See? told you it was bad.

Anyway, as always, I cannot thank those of you who have already donated enough. None of this would be possible if it wasn't for you, and my inbox is always open if you want to suggest cursed internet artifacts for me to look at. Someone suggested the entire series of Eyewitness children's science documentaries to me. I have no clue if I'll be able to find them. I've been vibing on the theme song for days tho. The only thing I would ask of you at this point is to share this GFM on social media, maybe link back to this update directly, and let's see if we can't find some extra wind for these sails to get us closer to that final goal. If you can't donate, please don't feel pressured to donate! Just reblogging it is more than enough help.

[creepylittlelady]

TOBY AND EJ IN YOUR AU PLEASE

Hello, sorry it took me so long to respond! I was quite busy today lol

I like Toby and EJ, so I have quite a bit on them! Sorry if you don't like them because they're not the most canon accurate, they're actually a bit more on the fanon side in some parts ;) I wanna give some more slice-of-life headcanons but if you want more serious ones I'll give them to you!

Toby

-So you know that 'Toby loves waffles :3" thing? Well in my AU it was a thing that happened but just not to that extreme. When he first moved into the mansion (Yes this is a Slendermansion AU), Waffles were his safe food and he ate them quite a lot, making the other residents at the time to make an inside joke about Toby loving waffles. These days he can't even look at a waffle without Jeff and Ben screaming "SAY THE LINE!" and staring at him until he says it.

It basically goes like:

Slender: What do you want for breakfast? Toby: *nervously fidgeting* Toby: *whispers* Waffles. Ben, from the other side of the room: DID I JUST HEAR SOMEONE SAY WAFFLES?? Ben and Jeff, in unison: SAY THE LINE TOBY! *UNCOMFORTABLE EYE CONTACT* Toby: *sighs* I love waffles. Ben: FUCK YEAH! Toby: I hate this stupid house.

-He's basically immune to Slender Sickness. Due to being around Slender so much he doesn't feel nauseous around him and gets really confused when newer residents get it when they first see him.

-He often has periods where he's really apathetic to most things and doesn't care, and then in the blink of an eye becomes an uncontrollable mess. He's got poor emotional regulation and when he gets irritated he goes into a RAGE about it.

-He secretly learnt Necromancy from a book in the Library and used it to try and bring back Lyra (is Lyra still a canon thing? Apparently she's her own character but I'm not sure at all). But Necromancy is a really difficult thing to accomplish so although he PARTIALLY brought her back she's more like a mindless zombie.

-Sometimes he'll visit his mother's house in the dead of night and leave presents for her. It's just something he does subconsciously that nobody knows about. On occasion Connie wakes up while he's doing it, but she just assumes that she's seeing things.

Every year on her birthday he breaks into her new house and places an inconspicuous birthday present on the dining table. She'll wake up the next morning incredibly confused on how it got there. Toby wishes that he and his mom can really meet again one day.

-Him and Natalie's relationship is...turbulent, to say the least. They've gotten together and broken up so much that nobody knows when they're dating anymore. They're really close regardless and hang out a lot, but they just hook up sometimes randomly, go on one date and break up again.

-His dad currently resides in the Underworld and Toby's met him several times. Due to his father being a sinner, the lowest of the low, Toby often beats him and stabs him with his axe every time he sees him. It's all perfectly legal.

-He frequently forgets random information about himself. Like at times he'll wake up and forget it's his birthday that day, he'll forget his age, sometimes he'll even forget his own name. Like deadass Masky will call his name like a million times and he'll be like "Man I hope this Toby fella answers soon".

-His closest friends are Masky, Hoodie, Kate and Natalie. He doesn't actually like Jeff all that much as he sees him as a dick, and he's pretty neutral towards most other people in the mansion. He HATES Ben and finds him scary, he won't even make eye contact. He prefers Eyeless Jack over the two of them however as he's Jeff and Ben's close friend he doesn't talk to him much.

-He actually secretly dislikes most of the mansion residents. Although he's pretty nice to everyone since he believes in yk not being a major bitch he doesn't care about most of them.

-MASSIVE PYROMANIAC, since he can't feel pain he doesn't really feel a sense of danger such as when there's a fire or when there's an enemy nearby.

-Okay, without delving too deep into my AU, he's one of the only ones who knows what's up 'going on' behind the scenes with Slenderman and Zalgo. He's somewhat aware of it so when an 'incident' happens he'll mainly be apathetic to it. Often times when Slenderman 'disappears', he'll cover for him.

-His mouth and jaw are incredibly numb so he can't really taste food, sometimes food will slip out of his mouth and he just won't know.

-When it comes to Sally and Lazari, he actually really likes them but sometimes when he's in his more irritable moods he finds them incredibly annoying and has snapped at Lazari a lot of times.

-When it comes to 'Missions' (like Proxy stuff), he's the only one that ever actually obeys Slender's orders. He has to remind Masky and Hoodie of what they're meant to be doing so much it tires him so he just lets them do what they think they're meant to do and laugh when they screw it up.

-He finds it funny with other people make mistakes, like he'll die of laughter when Laughing Jack hits his nose against a door.

-He owns a can of Pepper Spray that he'll use against Ben, Nina or the other ratchet Pastas when they get too crazy.

-Sometimes he'll act like fanon Toby, but more as a means of sarcasm. When Masky and Hoodie first met him they thought he was being serious so chocked him up as some incompetent loser, but he quickly let them know that he meant business.

-His love language is giving people random stuff. Like not even expensive stuff but if he likes you he'll hand you something random that he thinks you'll like. Or he'll give you a fun fact about a topic he knows you're interested in. He has a bunch of random Edgar Allen Poe or Drawing facts for Slender and Natalie. Once he gave Masky a black Sharpie he found lying in the woods for some reason.

-He's such a terrible singer on GOD but the thing is is that he loves singing so much that nobody can bring it up to him that he's shit at it.

-He has a lot of vocal tics, like he'll hum a random melody or yell "GOO GOOBIE!" randomly. Everyone's used to it. He's actually terrible at hiding from his victims because of this. He also has a tic where he throws WHATEVER is in his hands at that current moment right up into the air. Sometimes it's funny but other times it's concerning, especially when he's holding his own axe.

-Doesn't like video games because he finds them annoying and stressful.

-Once he got so mad at everyone that he checked himself into a Psych Ward under the name "Erin Rogers" and stayed there for a good six months. Everyone was so worried about him for a half of year and genuinely thought he was dead or in serious danger until one day he just waltzed back into the Labrinth unharmed and was like "Hey guys guess you've been wondering where I've been".

-He doesn't perceive the idea of people worrying about him so he does a lot of concerning things and doesn't realise that people genuinely worry for his safety sometimes.

-He's got no filter, or just has a really lax one. He'll say basically anything that comes to mind out loud, even if it's offensive to the person he's currently talking to.

-The kid goes missing A LOT. Slender actually had to file a Missing Persons Report for him because he disappeared for 4 months without contacting anyone. He comes back fine every time but he never tells anyone where he goes.

-Adding on to this, I kinda headcanon that he has a strange form of Amnesia where for months on end he'll forget who he is, anything about himself or his past, or even who anybody is around him. This causes him to run away frequently.

-He subconsciously uses himself as a human shield every time one of his friends is in danger. He'll throw himself in front of Masky and Hoodie if they're about to be shot by an Underworld General or something.

-Thinks that blood is really tasty and often will lick his own blood. This dude is NOT sanitary.

-Takes like one shower a year because he just forgets that he has a human body that gets dirty. Which is weird considering he's outside in the dirt and in a puddle of blood like every other day.

-He doesn't have a concept of boundaries so often time's he'll grab someone suddenly if he wants their attention. Usually it's harmless and the new Pastas get used to it eventually, but sometimes it's problematic when he grabs Lazari's horns or LJ's cone nose without their consent.

-Because in my AU Slenderman's Forest is a Labrinth where people don't age, although he's maybe in his 20s now he's still the exact same as he was when he was 17. He doesn't have a concept of time so this doesn't phase him as much as it phases EJ.

SPEAKING OF EJ...

Eyeless Jack

-He's got demon ears, and a demon tail. Yes that's right EJ IS A FURRY!!! Just Kidding but he does have some characteristics of a demon.

-There's a slight different between a Half-Demon like Lazari and a transformed demon like EJ. For one EJ has WAY more demonic urges than Lazari does and whilst hers are manageable, EJs definitely aren't. If he wants to kill, he has to do it otherwise he'll harm everything in his way, including himself.

-He's tried to cannibalise himself out of frustration several times, and his arms are now just permanently in bandages. Toby hits him with the Pepper Spray everytime he sees him chewing on any body part at all.

-When he's not submitting to his Demonic Urges, he's a really chill and nice guy. He's way more sane than anybody else in the Mansion and thinks everyone's unique and likes to observe them. His dream was always to be a doctor to support his parents and help others, so often times he takes care of people when they're sick.

-His demon side isn't that scary since he won't harm anybody he's close to, only himself and random people he comes across. Of course, you'll be terrified when you first see him absolutely DEVOURING the dead corpse of some random girl, but he'll always tell you that he'll never hurt you, even when he's in his Demonic State.

-Although he's an incredibly nice guy, he suffers severely with trust issues, especially when it comes to Romantic Affairs. Upon realising that Sally and Lazari were shipping him with all sorts of people, he got incredibly angry and told them that it wasn't okay.

-He's uncomfortable with romance in general after what happened with Jenny and doesn't see anybody in the Mansion as a potential Romantic Partner, since he sees relationships as something that will always end terribly and he doesn't want to soil his friendships with anyone.

-He's very close to Jeff and Ben, often coming along on their strange adventures just to watch. He believes that they aren't as bad as Toby thinks they are, so he finds it fun to hang out with them.

-He and Jeff are jokingly (KEYWORD JOKINGLY) romantic towards each other after finding out that Lazari had written fanfiction about the two of them. Although he doesn't like being shipped, Jeff helped turn into more of a funny inside joke.

-Although he has an affinity for human organs in his Demonic State and still nonchalantly consumes Kidneys regularly, he doesn't actually like meat. He's not really Vegan or Vegetarian, but he'll choose a Salad over a Steak, if you get what I'm saying.

-He's a valuable asset to the house due to his medical knowledge, and because of this is quite close to Dr Smiley and Nurse Ann, and often helps assist them with more serious cases like Natalie's eye infection and Jeff's mouth...injuries.

-He's one of the few people in the Mansion that actually liked Nina when she came, since most hated her initially, EJ helped her settle in and get to know everybody. He helps her a lot, especially when it comes to drama with her and Jeff.

-He really likes rock music and can play Guitar really well. He's not a great singer but can play an Acoustic Arrangement for any song you request him to do.

-Him and Liu are very close friends and helps Liu with panic attacks and sleep paralysis.

-He has a strictly PLATONIC relationship with everyone in the Mansion and outright discourages dating between residents, and didn't really approve of Natalie and Toby's relationship. Because of this he has no problem touching people in any way or sleeping in the same bed as people.

-As I said earlier, he did disapprove of Natalie and Toby's former relationship and advised them to break things off early, but he didn't really want to outright sabotage them. However, his own former trust issues subconsciously make him sabotage any romance he sees. He even discourages people on having CRUSHES in the Mansion.

-His trust issues cause a lot of problems, actually. Although he has no problem touching people or getting in their personal boundaries, he'll be PISSED if anybody grabs him suddenly or tries to hold his hand or anything like that.

-He has a rivalry with Laughing Jack over who's the better Jack. So far they're both even. Eyeless Jack insists that one day he'll win and be the true Jack.

-Okay in all seriousness EJ has been through a lot of shit, especially when he turned into EJ. I remember when I was little I saw this Creepypasta named "EJ Returns" or something like that where he was tied up in some Demon Hunter's basement.

This has happened to him a lot of times. Sometimes when he suddenly turns back to normal after eating somebody he'll get caught and he's the least fortunate out of everyone in the sense that the people that he gets caught by are ALWAYS occultists.

-He often has nightmares about being in this situation and because of this HATES basements and never goes into the Mansions basement unless there's a rotting corpse in there that he wants to eat.

-He desperately misses his old life, more than most of the Pastas do. Since his family and old friends are still alive he makes it an unhealthy habit to stalk them and follow them around in real life.

-In my AU, Jack Nyras is still a missing person and his disappearance was so mysterious that his case is still talked about on True Crime Podcasts. It was a nasty shock when he turned on the radio one day to discover people creating conspiracy theories on what really happened to him.

-When he came to the Mansion, his reaction was similar to Pomni from TADC. He believed it wasn't real. He broke down and wouldn't leave his room for WEEKS, and it was actually Jeff who brought him out of his shell. Although most Pastas think Jeff is a stuck up asshole EJ does have a sort of appreciation for him.

-He's blind, and although has a walking stick knows his way around the Mansion well enough to not need a guide. His sense of smell and his hearing is incredibly good.

-There's a lot of Braille books in the Library, and the section for it is referred to as the "EJ Section".

-He really likes Harry Potter and watches the movies every year.

-Jeff actually found him right outside the Forest, desperately consuming the flesh of someone Jeff had killed a day prior.

-Jack's sexuality is unknown, but we do know that he is at least attracted to women. He's claimed to have found men hot before but we may never know if he was telling the truth.

-His tail only really comes out when he's in his Demonic State, and yanking on it will NOT get you a good reaction.

-He has a fascination with watching people sleep. Don't ask him why, because he wouldn't tell you the answer.

-Upon his knowledge of what's 'going on', he has an understanding due to Toby constantly covering for Slender and Zalgo's strange behaviour. Due to being uncontrollably violent at times himself, he's sympathetic to whatever's truly going on but doesn't want to get involved.

-He does jobs with the Proxies quite a lot to the point where he even gets a paycheck (The Proxies are not slaves in this AU).

-He's really good at video games and even buys Ben a new Majora's Mask cartridge every year on his birthday to celebrate. Ben sees EJ as one of his favourite people and because of this tells him a lot about what his life was like before Drowning, but EJ won't tell.

-He owns a possessed item. It's a stuffed rabbit named Judas whom he insists can talk, but only when there is nobody else nearby. Lucy read Judas' aura and concluded that whoever is possessing Judas is a malicious entity. Despite this, EJ hasn't gotten rid of him.

-He discovered Nina and Liu and were the ones to bring them to the mansion.

-Due to the Forest being a Labyrinth and preventing it’s residents from ageing, EJ is constantly having an existential crisis on how old he is. Is he 19? Is he 29? Is he 50? He has no idea and worries about it everyday

Well, these are just some of them to get the ball rolling! I hope you liked them! If you want some more AU backstory I'll be happy to give more details ;)

If you want any more of them, whether it be on a specific topic, serious or light-hearted, feel free to ask! This was fun to write, I hope you enjoy reading, please correct me if I say anything that's too out of canon :3

If you’d like to ask for any characters in specific, any AU lore or any questions in general about the world then go ahead I promise I’ll try my best to always respond!!!

[thetangycheesemanwithaplan]

Some speculation I have for the next episode!

Yes I'e been having a lot of speculation and maybe (most likely) i'll be wrong but its just some fun ideas I've been having

I talked about this with @buck-up-buck and she is a prophet (check out her posts here to see her vision-with a small contribution from me about the AA meeting being a thing) she has some theories that happen after this theory of mine which I'm excited for her to share with you all as she see's the shrimp colours.

And so with what we've seen in the promo, the still that Tim has shared (I have brightened it so it can be a bit clearer) here's what I think will happen. Especially in this still

So firstly the order of events I believe will be the AA meeting then the Bathena conversation and then the motel drama, just as we are shown in the promo. There will be other things sprinkled in but the next two eps will be very Bobby centric. So when i saw this still i immediately thought of the following ideas/spec:

So Amir makes his speech at the AA meeting, it slowly dawns on Bobby the connection they share and obviously this sends Bobby mentally spiralling. It's been 10 years since the fire and Bobbys come far but hearing from someone who he affected by his past actions is definitely going to stir up shit (duh). I feel like we may get some flashbacks to the fire, maybe even Amir's perspective (how he got his scars) because our boy Amir is angry (you saw his stare, seeing bobby has reignited his fire). I feel like Bobby may attempt to speak to him after but Amir is angry and storms out or Bobby is in shock and cant say anything.

We then see the conversation with Bathena. It looks like Athena was asleep and Bobby hadn't come to bed yet. Athena woke up and came looking for Bobby to find him hunched over his laptop going into a bit of a dive on Amir and who he was and who he lost. Athena maybe talks to him about it and Bobby is very much adamant on making amends (Step 9). Athena wants to support him but the sergeant in her is concerned at this guy. So she supports him in the moment but hatches her own little plan.

And here is where we see the still (it's clearly at the hospital)

Athena has found out where this guy works and goes to speak to him. Amir is just finishing his shift when Athena catches him. She introduces her self and that she's Bobby's wife. Amir is immediately angered by this but keeps himself calm, only showing annoyance. Athena talks about how she knows who he is through Bobby and that she's sorry for Amir's loss. She expresses concern for how he raised the issue to Bobby and asks that they can work towards making amends. She says that Bobby has come so far to turn his life around (gives examples of what Bobby has accomplished. Captain of the 118, his new family with her and the steps he has taken in recovery) and all he wants to do is carry on moving forward. She doesn't want this incident to cause Bobby to fall of the wagon, they've been through a lot and she's concerned (she also getting alarm bells from this guys so is trying to gauge his intent whilst also trying to clear the air)

I think this angers Amir, again he wont show it but it sparks something in him further than what has already been sparked. He starts scheming (@buck-up-buck's theories about the loft burning down hehe) I feel like he'll make some comment to Athena about how he's glad Bobby could move on so easily whilst everyone else was left cleaning up the mess(throw back to the comment he made to Maddie) Obviously Athena defends her husband and says something like "it was far from easy, he clawed his way out of the darkest place and fought tooth and nail to get where he is now. If he can do it so can you." cause Athena has clocked that this guy is massively holding a grudge.

But Amir doesn't want to hear it and maybe just says something like 'Good for him' before walking away from the conversation.Amir is angry because its been 10 years and he's still affected by the fire, he hasn't let go of the pain and the hurt (as he mentioned in his speech) but now seeing that the guy who caused it has a new family, that he's moved on and is happy, is captain of a firehouse (irony not lost on him) and Amir has been left scared and hurt and his life hasn't bounced back just absolutely fuels his revenge plan.

Athena tells Bobby that she tried to reason with Amir but there was no reasoning with him and that he's very angry still. She tells Bobby she knows he needs to make amends and he should but also says he should be careful and wait for him to calm down a bit first and that whatever he does he shouldn't do it alone. Bobby of course listens and agrees but also he understands Amir better than anyone and thinks he can get through to him (remember Bobby is shook up by this whole thing and won't make the smartest decisions) so when Amir reaches out and asks Bobby to meet at the Easy Motel, Bobby does go and then, Amir starts his revenge

Amir wants Bobby to suffer again like he did (he doesn't acknowledge that Bobby did loose everything in that fire, he's to blinded by his own grief and mad that Bobby has a shiny new life and seems unbothered by his past to listen to reason) he wants to rip Bobby's family away from him, saying he doesn't deserve a second chance.

[prof-ramses]

Decided to rant about Striker's character and why I think he works (Warning: This ended up being massive)

The best analogy about Striker that I can make is that he isn't really a cowboy, but a comic book villain who themes himself around being a cowboy. Now that I've done the meme-y version, allow me to actually explain.

A lot of people seem to overlook that there is a single thread that holds together Striker's personality, and is the root of most of his characterization. And that thread is a need for respect.

Let's look through his appearances and explore how his obsession manifests:

Harvest Moon Festival:

In his first episode, Striker presents himself as a model Wrath imp in order to gain the trust of Millie's family and Blitz. The only person he breaks character around is Moxxie, since he assumes Moxxie's insecurity about not being good enough in the eyes of his in-laws will make him automatically respect someone who they do approve of.

He later breaks character when Blitz catches him, he tries to convince Blitz that they're too good to live their lives around the whims of nobles, he tries to show himself as someone who can get Blitz what he wants, or rather, what Striker thinks Blitz wants, again to seem like someone who's "got it figured out" .

Another note worthy thing is his very professional way of speaking with Stella in both this and the next episode he's in, we'll get back to this later.

Western Energy:

The first point of interest is easy to miss the significance of, when breaking into the Richest Cup he makes it as dramatic as possible, he's trying to show himself as dangerous enough to warrant such cocky recklessness while surrounded by goetic demons.

After he takes Stolas we see his hideout which is full of scavenged western imagery that looks like an ominous lair, but upon closer inspection is actually a meager living arrangement for a deeply troubled demon.

His actual rant to Stolas includes a line about nobles taking everything lower class demons care about, showing WHY respect is important to him, he's never felt that he, or the part of society he belongs to, have been respected, or as he later says, all nobles do is try to talk over them.

Striker torturing Stolas shows how his need for respect is reflected in him being an assassin, he thinks he can get respect through fear, that having the most primal form of authority over someone will make him feel more significant. And this is why Stolas and I.M.P. are his greatest enemies, their irreverence makes them the only targets that don't play his game, that remind him of what he really is, a desperate, fragile, hero in his own mind, willing to do whatever it takes to prove his importance, not to others, but to himself.

Once again, he's begrudgingly cordial towards Stella despite his hatred of royals, in an effort to get even a fleeting acknowledgement of his worth. Showing that his belief that he can play into people's minds to get what he wants extends to his emotional wants as well.

Oops:

Here we see Striker in a much different light, mostly due to his new employer. First off, he's much more open with his frustration and moments of weakness, despite Crimson actually being physically present there and being able to see and hear everything. I think this is because Crim is a rare example of someone Striker doesn't feel he needs respect from. Crimson is, at least in Striker's eyes, an imp who has found moderate success by mimicking the lifestyle of a royal. He might not show it, but Striker probably resents Crimson just as much as, if not more than, he resents Blitz and Fizz, since Crimson has no actual royal support (that we know of).

Speaking of Blitz and Fizz, in his interaction with them in the cage scene we get the most blatant example of Striker thinking that his victimhood as an imp makes his "accomplishments" more worthy of respect, as he completely skirts around the fact he's the only hybrid out of the three, and we also learn he's aware of all this on at least some level when he threatens Fizzarolli for comparing him to a royal due to his arrogance.

And lastly, the climax when he grabs Fizz and the moment when we get the immortal line "Why is it always a sex thing!?", and why is it always a sex thing? Why do the members of IMP and those close to them not fall for his act? Put simply, it's due to trust, no matter how skilled or intimidating he is, Striker is still a loner with no one and nothing to fall back on beside his own skill. In sharp contrast to this the main cast have strong enough bonds that they know someone will oppose him. For example, Striker's attempt at demoralizing Stolas fails because he didn't think Blitz would trust his employees enough to do the saving.

So, yeah, I think Striker currently has a better thematic through line than any other villain in the series and I'm interested in seeing where they take him next. That being said, I feel Crim could be just as great and will probably make a similar post for him after his third episode.

[conjuring-ghouls]

I lost my best friend on Sunday.

Life feels sad ever since. Sitting on my bed and not having her immediately come to my lap, or waking up without her weight and warmth on my legs feels excruciating. It's like having a lump in your throat that never leaves, or like being kicked so hard in the stomach that you're out of breath. Only this feeling is constant.

I oscillate between the terrible feeling that a massive part of my life is missing and the comforting sensation that I've accomplished my job in giving her the best life I possibly could. A sense of relief that she got to spend her last days with us, near me and her last minutes in this life in my room, in my bed (or her room, her bed, that she was kind enough to share with me).

Ugh… the only certainty we have in this life is the one of death, either way, I'm still always impressed at how much it hurts. Of how unprepared we are to deal with the excruciating reality of not having someone we love anymore. Of how in one minute they're here, and in the next they're not. Our brain struggles to process this fact. Yet, we keep going because that's all we can do.

Blume, I'm just so glad we've spent SO much time together throughout the years because I have all these nice pics of you. I'm happy that at least I could tell you everything I had to tell you in these last days. Even if it was hard, even if i couldn't help crying while holding your tiny little paw. But when you looked back at me with your big yellow eyes, I knew you were understanding me.

Even if you couldn't understand exactly my words, you were feeling the energy I was trying to convey to you when I told you that our love and connection is so strong that it overlaps the meaningless barriers of life. When I promised you our love is so strong and unique that it will make us meet again. Souls that connect this much, find their way to each other, one way or another. We are bound to meet again, in this life or the next.

And if you can see my pain rn, I hope it serves as evidence of how much I loved you, of how much you've meant to me, of how thankful I am that you chose me as your human. No other animal has ever done that to me before. Between a house with five people, with no evident reason, you chose me. It's been always hard for me to see myself as worthy of good things, but I keep thinking that if you loved me, if you saw little details in me that gave you comfort, maybe I'm not that bad.

So I'm gonna keep going and every time that life feels hard and hopeless, I'll think of you and keep going for you. Because if you trusted me, maybe I should trust myself too. Because I know that's what you've wanted.

In regards to tumblr, I need time. I will get better, I will address things and will accept this lost as I slowly get used to a life without her. But I need some days.

And to be honest, if I'm taking something from this time I've spent away, is that I haven't been dealing with tumblr and content creating in the best way lately. I've been neglecting my own feelings and mental health and attributing my worth to what I share or how much time I spend here. And this isn't healthy.

There are so many things out there we end up missing if we're too stuck in this mindset. A whole world around us that we go blind to. I will be back soon. But I need a few days. I hope you'll all understand ♡

Meanwhile, stay with these silly pictures of her. I couldn't go anywhere without her following me around and I couldn't take a mirror selfie or in fact any picture at all without her showing up in the bg, so there's plenty!

Rest in peace, my love. I will forever love you. Thank you for loving me when I thought no one else could ♡