#that to me and then go on to harass two trans men and try to disprove their racial backgrounds you can do that!

[traumatizedjaguar]

thegirlwhocrieddragon

When trans elder, activist, and organizer Miss Major was imprisoned in the 70s, she was put in solitary confinement. Also in solitary confinement at the time was Frank "Big Black" Smith, iconic Black Panther and organizer of the Attica rebellion.

Miss Major said of Big Black, “He’s the one that let me know that during things like the riot or getting justice done—stuff lke that—you can’t throw anybody under the bus. You can't leave anybody behind. And that’s become my favorite thing to say to people: I won’t throw anybody under the bus, and I’m not leaving anybody. It has to include us all, or it’s not going to work.”

It has to include us all, or it’s not going to work.

Sontarangaming

Also, on top of everything else, this operates on the same principle as retributive justice vs restorative justice, in that only one of these plans has a real endgame. Lateral violence happens because we view problems in relative terms—and there’s no way around that. And when you’re approaching issues by trying to eliminate the Bad Things, your brain has a way of making those smaller issues feel big, and it becomes cathartic to rip at that problem and feel like you’re doing your part. Issue is, if you don’t focus on the constructive side of your activism, you end up losing the plot in favor of that catharsis.

Two examples of this from different sides of Discourse would be transmeds, who spend time worrying about who is and isn’t trutrans, and the people harassing celebrities with queerbaiting accusations. In both cases, there are some legitimate grievances, and ironically enough, they’re shared grievances a lot of the time. Both are concerned with the ways that their community is othered and marginalized, and they want to do something about that. But in both cases, they focus on individual, small scale perceived issues, and try and tear down those accessible, small issues, rather than look upwards and see the shared enemy of heteronormative patriarchy that creates these issues in the first place.

In both of these cases, you can tell the issues with their approach by looking at their natural conclusions and seeing where they lead, which in both cases is queer spaces and identity being inaccessibly obscure and heavily gated. Comparatively, if a constructive approach is taken, the opposite happens: if, instead of gatekeeping transition to reserve it for the right people, you encourage people to experiment with their gender identity and expression for their own comfort, you solve the potential issue of people transitioning before they’re ready or certain, without the same shitty side effects. If you encourage people to present how they want, you destigmatize femininity and men and masculinity in women, which benefits everyone.

sealpup9

Also, if your goal is just "finding the next enemy" it's easy to get pulled into the mindset that there is always a scapegoat. And the step after that is literally rallying against groups of people... You see where this is going.

Our goals should always be to improve the lives of those around us. Treating people well and rallying with folks for better treatment. The "Us vs. Them" mentality will just cause damage in the long run and can get you into the habit of looking for enemies. When in actuality we all deserve rights and the ability to live life without issues. Doing little things to help people around you is a good place to start :)

I really do think an important component of activism is to make sure your motivation is based on a desire to help/improve things for the people being harmed by a system, and not hatred for the ones doing the harm. both for mental health reasons, and because either way you're training your neural pathways and it's gonna turn out a lot better for literally everyone if the question on everyone's mind after achieving a goal is "how/which people can we help next, what's the next step for improving things" and not "who do we need to attack next."

I'm not saying don't be angry, there are a lot of good reasons to be angry right now and it makes for an excellent kick in the pants, just don't define yourself by it or it's gonna poison you and potentially do collateral damage.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

I wasn't about to say anything to this annoying little bitch because they're 18 but when I tell you that aro/aces in this fandom are literally trying to police people for merely being attracted to Alastor now like??? This is why I'll keep on saying that some of you (aro/aces) are insufferable as shit and need to shut the fuck up?

Or how 'bout

Or how 'bout if Alastor respected Vaggie and hadn't sexually harassed her by way of chin tickling and arse slapping, I wouldn't in turn look at him disrespectfully and want to give him a taste of his own touchy feely medicine?

How 'bout fans can do and feel whatever they want about Alastor cause he's not real and how 'bout everyone should stop treating fictional characters like they're real when they're not real? Including goddamn fucking Valentino...

How 'bout another reminder to stop clogging the actual queer and ace tags on tumblr that real ace people might be using to find real community and resources, with posts about a goddamn fucking ~"tumblr sexy man"~ fictional serial killer cannibal because I'm sure that real aspec people trying to look for real resources in real life are sick of all the goddamn fucking fiction by now???

How 'bout "You can write about a characters sexuality/fucking/getting fucked, but you're not allowed to explore or acknowledge any sexual attraction to them while you're writing about them being sexual and having sex, which would inherently require taking sexual attraction into consideration in order to even do that, but you're not allowed to, because that's disrespectful!" is officially the most bullshit moronic take I've ever heard...

[flagellant]

Hello, tumblr! I mentioned this in my stream last night with my friend and collaborator @lakemojave, but here is the official tumblr announcement: I've started a fundraiser to pay for GAS that I can't afford on my own.

I...try my best to appear pretty unflappable on this site, because my online persona relies on that. But about two years ago I was harassed by TE/RFs and no matter how much I tried to forget or get over it, there was a comment that a 17 year old made towards my appearance the has probably been the most devastating thing I've ever felt, and ever since that insult I've grown steadily and steadily more disgusted and anxious about my appearance--specifically my hair.

As an AMAB trans person, I'm of course going to experience male-pattern baldness. Even in cisgender men, more than 75% of them experience some form of heightened anxiety and dysphoria due to hair loss or fear of it. I don't know how those numbers change when talking about trans people, but I can't imagine it's not even higher.

In the interest of full transparency at the cost of, frankly, my pride: I have reached the point in my dysphoria where I am growing to be borderline suicidal. I've struggled with suicidal ideation since I was a young teenager, but this is the first time in over a decade that I've reached a level where I am terrified what will happen when it gets worse.

And so with all that said, I've started a fundraiser on PayPal to try and raise money for my gender-affirming care. Y'all might remember me from the Great Soy Sauce Conspiracy of late December of last year, and maybe also how I stopped working on the project due to mental health reasons. I remember how kind all of you were when I was struggling with living newly on my own trying to afford food and things like convection plates, and it's my hope that I could rely on you all to help me again.

With that said, I've made the decision that if I am able to fulfill this fundraiser's cost...I'm going to pick back up The Mysterious Appearance of Miss Appleton and finally finish it once and for all...in video essay format, because that feels most appropriate to me. I think I'm going to be ready for it this time.

If you've read this far, thank you so much. If you need it, though:

TLDR: I need to get myself gender-affirming surgery because i'm getting real close to suicidal over my dysphoria. I've made a fundraiser for it. If the fundraiser is successful, I'm going to finally finish the video essay for The Mysterious Appearance Of Miss Appleton. Thank you for your time and your help.

[camomileapplesyrup]

today i got into a heated argument with two TRAs over the twoXchromosomes subreddit. i made a post about the woman-centric subreddit now being overrun with men & MRAs who harass women that share their traumatic experiences with men. from SA, to spousal abuse, women found a space where they felt safe discussing their experiences in life.

posts expressing feminist thought, traumatic experiences & general fear of men were met with downvote bombings & harassment.

men pretend to be underage girls pretending not to understand masturbation and acting they don't know how to wash "down there", asking for advice for sexual gratification of course.

men CONSTANTLY adding their two cents to posts that absolutely do not need it.

the subreddit is now uncomfortable & stifling, mods do absolutely nothing about it. so i made a lengthy post and so many women responded. over 500 comments of women responding positively, and thanking me for calling out an ongoing issue.

well, apparently i am transphobic and i am acting "sussy" with saying; “every time i come here and a woman makes a post with the most MINUSCULE feminist intent, or sharing her trauma, or difficulties in her personal experiences, it doesn't just get downvoted to oblivion, but filled up with comments of dudes adding their two cents, tone policing, making sexual & or fetish comments or "not all men"ing her. this is a woman centric community. two X chromosomes. we aren't going to make our tones softer, be gentler and tip-toe around our individual experiences to make YOU, a dude, comfortable.”

all it took was this for two TRAs to gang up on me & call me transphobic. saying this is why they don't trust cis feminists, and patronising me with expressions like "you must be so brave for calling yourself a radfem". they claimed that i cannot call myself a radical feminist because it's just bigoted towards trans women, despite me living in a 3rd world country where we don't even have working woman's shelters and proper laws against spousal abuse. "im sorry your life is hard as a woman living in a misogynistic country, but that is here nor there with regard to the terminology we're discussing" i'm sorry, what?

most of us aren't privileged enough to be libfems. i wish pink fucking girlboss they/she queen xenogender discourse was what my country could be doing, but life is not fair for everyone. if a woman here gets abused, stalked, or raped, she has nowhere to go. no phone number to call. no police to call. no prosecutor to trust in. and i went through this, personally.

by the end i had to block them, because they were derailing the conversation. but fuck, even when i literally do my best and try to be inclusive to everyone, i get spat in the fucking face.

[bookshopsbizarreblog]

I don't normally care to get involved in Tumblr discourse, but ik you prev so I'll share my thoughts <3. The first set is more in relation to your comment than the root post, but it's your comment that got me thinking.

While your argument makes some sense on paper, and the fundamental core of it is trying to affirm folks trans identities (always a good thing), it still rings a bit.... not necessarily gender essentialist, since that has connotations™, but rigid in terms of what gender means. There is no universal set of features, internal, external, experiential, or socially mandated, that encompass what it means to be any given gender. I'm sure this is something we agree on, barring possible quibbles about how self identification functions. If someone says they're a certain gender (or not, for that matter), you believe them. How they identify is in their hands.

But identifying one way now doesn't necessarily mean that all of their past experiences align with them as their present gender going through that. For some people, I'm sure it does. There is a whole lot of utility in recontextualizing one's past in that way, in, as you put it, declaring that they "[were] not experiencing it as women, they[ were] experiencing it as men who are being treated as women." Or whatever other gender is relevant for the given situation. But it's not necessarily universally true. Case in point, genderfluid people. Someone feeling nonbinary one day and like a man the next doesn't mean that their experiences within the self-identification of nonbinary are all retroactively male experiences. Again, I'm sure that's preaching to the choir here.

For binary trans folks, I can't imagine not applying a similar principle. If someone believed and was treated as though they were a specific gender growing up, and later discovered otherwise, how they choose to relate to and understand their past is their call. The root truth is that gender and identification is a complicated mess, and we are all constantly shifting in our relationships to society and ourselves. Even cis people can experience dysphoria and disconnect from their preferred gender. There's no one unified story for what it means to be any given person. We get to make those ourselves. It'd be completely valid for a trans man to look back at when he thought he was a girl, along with everything that came with it, and pick out the early signs that would lead to them deciding that being a girl didn't suit them without invalidating their previous experience with that gender. We don't have to understand ourselves as always having been one way or the other, even within a binary identification. We can, if it serves us. But it's an individual's decision.

Anywho, that's just my rambling thoughts on what you said. TL; DR - I agree overall with you but think there's room for individual nuance and different self-concepts.

Now to actually address the disconnect I see between you and OP lol

I don't feel like your two claims are contradictory, and the linking factor is empathy. Let's set aside everything else I said, just work with a spherical trans man in a frictionless vacuum someone who has always known they were a man in the wrong body, with all the frustrations and dysphoria that entails. As OP said, they will not have always passed, and will thus have first hand experience of how society treats women.

Now, does this make them a woman? Obviously not. Does this mean they experience it identically to how women do? Again, no (though I'd also argue against any one universal experience with sexism and harassment). But they can still get it. They can still understand how it feels to go through all that due to society's perceptions of women. And I think that's closer to the point OP is making. They're not arguing that being on the receiving end of misogyny makes trans men women.

They're just saying "we experience it too. We understand how painful it can be. Don't discount our pain, or our knowledge of it, just because we're men. You're ignoring a very real struggle many of us have gone through, and that also hurts."

At least that's my reading, prev. Feel free to disagree, and I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm sure I've missed some things and have points people might quibble or clarify. Learning is a constant process and I'd appreciate feedback!

i think im going to lose my fucking mind actually.

this little make believe game that yall are playing where ur all pretending that we have always been passing as cis men is honestly just really sickening to read. as if trans men have never been sexually harassed or abused because society perceives us as women. im genuinely of the opinion that u all just do not believe trans men face misogyny and thats so unbelievably fucked up and just not based in reality. its actually disgusting and vile.

[hillbillyoracle]

So I saw this screencap earlier

And I thought it was a great chance to talk about something.

A lot of progressive folks are familiar with the fact that right wing circles use feminine as a derogatory term and that there's a real cost to that for women.

What people are less familiar with is how it hurts men - queer and straight, cis and trans.

And I'm not shocked given how common it is in left leaning spaces to be reactionary (read: dismissive or outright harass) when men try to talk about these what these issues look like for them.

When men talk about how they've experienced toxic masculinity and anti-feminine bias, in addition to the usual right wing responses, I'm starting to see a bunch of supposed feminists and trans/queer allies harass them as well - saying they're hurting women/feminine presenting folks by "centering men", dismissing their concerns as made up (even when there's research to back it up), "why aren't you talking about what this is like for cis and trans women instead??".

I've seen trans men accused of being TERFs or being liars (by other trans people even - wtf) when they talk about their experiences of allies actively excluding them from trans spaces or harassing them for using T4T tags. I've seen men be accused of lying about publicly accessible clinical research that shows men make up 75%-77% of suicide cases - or worse suggest they deserve it. I see posts about how men's complaints "aren't unique to them" and dismiss them because women also suffer things those authors assume are the same (even when the research contradicts this).

And here's the thing:

When you assume feminine=good/safe/gentle and masculine=bad/unsafe/enemy - you're parroting a conservative talking point.

There is no way around this fact.

A big part of what underpins child rearing being "the woman's domain" in conservatism, is the idea that men are inherently dangerous and therefore shouldn't really be around children without women present.

The reason why they blame women for abuse and rape - because they believe men are inherently dangerous and if a woman trusted them then it's her fault.

Part of why women have been effectively banned from many trades and careers for so long is the assumption that being around that many men presents an inherent danger to a woman.

"But!" you might be saying, "This person is clearly talking about men engaging in open conflict as good here!"

Yeah because conservatives see politics as an inherently male/dangerous/toxic sphere and uphold it as such.

I could go on and on really.

All of this is to say - please be more thoughtful in what you consume, comment, and reblog.

There are experiences specific to being masculine. Erasing that is one, a dick move, but two, particularly violent toward those talking about trans masculine, minority masculine, disabled masculine, and queer masculine experiences.

All privilege comes at a cost. Listening when people talk about that cost is key building a new more fair reality. Seeing the privilege is not worth the cost makes fervent allies. Want more allies? Don't be a dick to people having that realization.

Push back against the assumption of woman=good and man=bad when you see it - especially in community spaces. The amount of times I've seen domestic violence services only available to women is insane...

Do not let identarian politics blind you to the fact we're all human and working toward our own liberation should not come at the oppression of another. Believe me, those with real power would much rather you stay raging out at men in a similar class with you than directing your efforts at them.

The right wing wants you to believe it's either/or. Fuck that - it's both/and.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for using the only accessible restroom at the office, when I don't technically need to?

I am a trans person in my twenties who is neurologically & physically disabled. My disabilities are (mostly) invisible and I do not have any mobility aids or bulky access devices, nor do I have any toileting-related disabilities. This is relevant.

In the large office building where I work, each storey has: A women's room with no large accessible stall; a men's room with no large accessible stall; and a single-occupancy all-genders large accessible restroom.

I am visibly trans, regardless of how I dress or whether I wear a mask. I have been verbally harassed in both the women's room and the men's room, and security has been called on me once. HR told me to use the single-occupancy restroom to avoid further "conflicts." However, two of my coworkers on this floor have bulky mobility aids, so they cannot fit into the stalls of the men's room or women's room. Yesterday, one of them ("Pat") was in the lobby waiting for me to exit the single-occupancy restroom so they could use it. When Pat saw that I exited, not our other coworker with a mobility aid, they started to berate me for making them wait on someone who is not disabled. They insisted I use the women's room, and I was too upset to respond, I just walked away.

I don't want to go to HR again, who I think see me as the problem, rather than the bathroom layout being the problem. I don't want to be harassed in a gendered restroom again, but I feel terrible for making Pat wait on the only restroom they can physically access. I don't want to tell Pat and my other coworker with a mobility aid why I use that restroom, because I am afraid they will not be sympathetic to my reasons, since they cannot physically use the other restrooms and I physically can (just at significant risk of harassment and HR complaint).

I already try not to use any restroom at work, since it is causing so many problems with my coworkers. I work on an upper floor, and my badge only lets me into the floor where I work and the ground floor lobby, so I can't get to a different block of restrooms in a reasonable amount of time. My job has good benefits and is not too difficult, so quitting my job over the restroom situation feels extreme. I am trying to be considerate of all of my coworkers, but I am afraid that I am in the wrong anyway.

Would I be the asshole if I keep using the single-occupancy accessible restroom when I need to go?

I'm sorry if this sounds like bait. I am afraid of giving too much detail about where I work. If the mod wants more information I might be able to provide floor plans for my office without compromising my privacy?

What are these acronyms?

[orangetonavy]

about I Saw the TV Glow...

i love movies and some of my favs are Titane, After Yang, Dogville, so and so. you get the gist. so at first i didn't really like the movie. i kinda get why the dialogues were so deadpan and the colours of the lighting were so strong ofc but i didn't inherently love it. the theme too, i was cis while watching it and for some scenes i could definitely feel it but overall it wasn't for me. the progression of the plot felt a little undercooked and all. i finished the movie and thought: hm. i get why all those trans people love it and it did make me feel some kind of ache at times. well. time to go to sleep.

like two days later, i kid you not, i realized that i wasn't cis. there was just this pang in my heart. a distant voice telling me that i still have time. time for what? i thought. i know i don't like my life but i've always liked being cis. i like being a girl. i love being a lesbian. i still do, but i was wrong. i was trying to make myself believe that i was content with being a woman.

now keep in mind that i live in asia. in my country women traditionally aren't allowed to look much masculine at all. no fat, no muscles, pale skin, long hair, tight but modest clothes, sweet voice, never angry. and because i fought my way through life to have relatively shorter, shaggy, dyed hair, a loud rough voice to get angry at older men for swearing at me on the bus and to love my body with all my muscles and layer of fat, i thought i already renovated myself. everything i did was eventually feminine because i am female.

but i am not feminine. thinking that i was a female by heart made me act in ways that would often confine me to femininity. i'd try to enjoy flaunting my body even after being sexually harassed for it my entire life ever since my breasts started to grow. sometimes i felt like i was useful whenever my body would get ogled at because that's how i learned to cope. i slowly got disinterested in sex and sexuality after an sa.

now that i take t and label myself as trans, i feel liberated. i don't have to cope with the shame and anger my body has given me my whole life anymore. i can be myself and i can tell people who i am in a way they would understand my own view on myself. my interest in sex and love and people are back. i'm unafraid of eventually becoming *the girl* in a relationship with a man because i am not a girl, and i'd meet someone who respects that someday.

there really is still time. i can't wait to be 30, 40, maybe i'd have a flat hairy chest by then. or maybe not and i come to peace with my guy tits. could be single but i doubt that bc i'd be hot lol. might be in a lesbian relationship. might have a husband. might be married to a spouse without gender or whatever. doesn't matter. i'll be loving myself and my partner. there is still so much time.

[redditreceipts]

so do you nitpick and only acknowledge stuff that makes trans people look bad or are you open to screenshots showing the reality of how terfs act as well?

yes, of course! you can just send them to me :)

you'd just have to take three things into account:

the people in the screenshots have to be actual feminists. People like Posie Parker, who has said that she is not a feminist on numerous occasions, are not "TERFs"

the screenshots have to have at least some support from the community. If you look at the stuff I post, you'll see that I try to include upvotes and comments to show that this is not some fringe opinion, but is actually an opinion shared by a large part of the community. if the posts on your screenshots have one like and two views, it's not something that I'll be interested in discussing.

I'm gonna tell you upfront, I'm not gonna care if it's something like "kill all men" or "join the stats" or something. I mean I'm not in support of a targeted harassment campaign of some random man, but you'll understand that I have different standards depending on which group is making an offensive comment - the group that commits 98 percent of homicides or the group that doesn't. I'm also a white person, and I'm not going to shit my pants if a Black person says something like "white people can go die". I expect males to have the same resilience.

But well, in the end, I'll tell you that I don't nitpick. I always like to play a game where I go to the r/mtf subreddit, sort by "hot", and try to find 20 consecutive posts without some absolutely deranged shit. today I made it to the eighth post, which was:

if you don't believe me, do it yourself lol. What I post is not a nitpick, it's the average r/mtf post lmao

[trannydykes]

Y'all need to SHUT UP about "transandrophobia/transmisandry". I saw a post the other day I haven't stopped thinking about, about transmisogyny, and like most the comments were going "Isn't that just transphobia?" (Which is already wild, 'cause it isn't. Since transmisogyny is the overlap of two very real oppressions: Transphobia & Misogyny)

But one was like "Sees post abt transmisogyny, checks blog, transandrophobe. like clockwork." When literally there was no posts on OPs blog that were hateful toward transmascs/men... just posts talking abt OPs experience with transmisogyny. (even if there were it wouldn't be "transandrophobia" cuz its not real, it would just be either transphobia or bullying/harassment depending on if their transness was attacked)

If you see people talking abt women's issues and think "This means they HATE men!!" (trans or no) you need to stop an think for a moment. Women on this site can't make ANY exclusive post (Transmisogyny, Lesbianism, or just talking abt being women) without guys coming along and going "How can I make this about me?".

And I know it's mostly trans men who are suffering through dysphoria and thinking about women makes them ick. But consider for a moment that you don't need to verbalize those thoughts, especially under posts that aren't about you/your experiences.

Please refrain at least from doing it under other ppls posts, I'm begging.

OPs note: I'm not being hostile/trying to start shit. Im just upset and wanna talk abt it. I'm transmasc myself (tho not a man).

[drdemonprince]

most of my experience with the idea of transandrophobia or any specific hate towards trans men mostly came from a lot of the harm the “irreversible damage” book did to me as a teen and the harassment i saw a lot of transmasc youtubers go through. i don’t know if maybe i was just in a particular place on the internet where that was much more relevant but i think that rooted a lot of, idk, paranoia? in me? i’ve never compared my oppression to transmisogyny or believed that trans men were more harmed than trans women in any way, it’s always been like a next to but separate concept in my head, i suppose

So first let me say that Irreversible Damage and its ilk are HORRIBLE and the detrans TERF movement so thoroughly fucked me up. SO much. See my piece "My Dalliance with Detransition" for more on that.

I do not think that's transmisandry though. It's transphobia. And an attempt to recruit transmascs into the TERF detrans cult. They use corrective therapy tactics. (The group Health Liberation Now does a great deal to blow the whistle on this).

It's the same as ex-gay shit. That isn't misandry either. It's homophobia. I think people discount how bad homophobia and transphobia can be? People need it to be this special gendered locus of oppression these days. But those two things just really are that horrible. It's traumatic and manipulative. And they try to recruit us to use us as a cudgel against trans femmes. Doesn't mean we don't have it hard. But wanting to make us compliant footsoldiers is different from what they want of trans women, which is eradication.

[himedanshicult]

I'm going to try and explain to you, as a trans woman myself, why you're wrong about transandrophobia advocates. I've never once seen a single one of them, and I've interacted with many over a long period of time nearly every day now, claim that transmascs cannot be transmisogynyistic, and I feel you're very deliberately conflating that with "transmascs don't have structural power over transfems", which IS true. They don't have power over us. They can be transmisogynistic but that doesn't mean it's systemic on their part. If anything, we have power over them, because transmascs are constantly shut out of queer spaces, taunted, told they should all die, have jokes made about them being forcibly impregnated, and harassed in attempts to force them back into the closet because everyone thinks transitioning to "man" is a morally bankrupt political choice. When they try to complain about these things, they're told to shut up and stop deprioritizing the real victims. They're told they have to consider themselves transmisogyny exempt - which is truly, I mean truly just a euphemism for hating on them regardless of if it's /supposed/ to include cis people - but when they try to come up with their own word, that's also wrong. And everyone is just...fine with "TMEs" who buy into that nonsense practically worshipping transfems to a degree I find skin-crawling. It's a bad situation.

if it seems like I'm conflating the two, well, that's because I am. i don't think it's a meaningful difference. simply saying that transmascs are capable of prejudice is an empty admission when you follow that with "but they can hold no meaningful power over trans women nor can they benefit from or weaponize systemic transmisogyny". not even getting into how these admissions often coexist with attempts to redefine transmisogyny into a "transphobia + misogyny" that can be experienced by trans men and women alike, emptying it further of credibility. the moment you start arguing that trans men have no power in the relation, you are downplaying the violence and exploitation that trans men exact upon trans women, particularly within transgender and queer spaces (which is funnily enough, what you are trying to do in this very ask!) and at that point, you might as well be denying trans mens capability of transmisogyny wholesale. at least, it would be more open and honest about what is being accomplished.

and like girl, im not even gonna touch the rest of this ask because I'd need to write a full essay just to drive home how wrong you are, like you are fucking conflating forced impregnation of trans men with tme/tma signifiers, like think abt that for a minute. there are cities whose entire lgbt scenes consist of large numbers of trans guys, but like 1 or 2 trans women- are those cities just barren of trannies, or is something else going on here? how does the average queer space or feminist org react to a rape accusation by a trans girl against a trans guy vs the other way around? for that matter, how does the legal system react to it? how did michfest treat trans guys and how did they trans lesbians? is every trans girl who talks about their local feminist or lgbt scene embracing trans guys while shunning them just lying out their ass? more to the point, why are these men you associate with hellbent on convincing you, a trans woman, that not only do they possess no systemic power over you but that you have systemic power over them? trying to ingrain into your mind that you are by default the aggressor? like, doesn't that strike you as a little akin to male/female socialization, especially since a lot of popular bloggers in this sphere openly espouse that concept?

for fear of getting my words twisted, let me be clear that i detest transphobia against trans men, and especially the proliferation of demonization towards testosterone hrt and phalloplasty thts spread like wildfire in lgbt spaces. trans men are subjected to a lot of horrific bullshit and there are trans girls who actively participate in that. im not opposed to that oppression being given a name. but none of that justifies this outright rejection of their capacity to perpetuate societal transmisogyny to their benefit that is championed in transandrophobia spaces. that only serves to allow trans men to turn a blindside on their own ability to hurt and oppress trans women and to obfuscate their actions when they do so. there are a ton of trans guys who hate transandrophobia bloggers for precisely that reason and feel deeply uncomfortable with their oppression being used to downplay and obfuscate transmisogyny

[redheadbigshoes]

I'm so done with being calm and respectful about my anger towards those who intrude on sexual boundaries.

Every time a man makes an advance when a woman says no, or that she is a lesbian and not interested, it is an attack on her agency, on the worth of her will, and many people will just say 'its weird' and try and shrug it off, but those were precursors to some of the harassment I experienced, to unwanted physical contact by a coworker in the office I used to work in, trying to erode my boundaries and self-respect.

After I publicly transitioned to a woman when I graduated and moved to a new city for my first job, I was able to come out publicly as a lesbian after having gone through literal comphet forced relationships with men in order to get a letter from my therapist for hormones. I was happy to finally be able to say who I really was, having to just hope that everyone would be nice and accepting of my gender and sexuality since working in an office means you have to be around people you dont choose every day.

I expected my main issue to be transphobia, but I didn't understand how well I passed after just 1.5 years on hrt while closeted, and I doubly didn't expect to get the attention of my male coworkers who kept on making unwanted advances over and over despite me getting upset, disgusted, and angry at them. I told them I was a lesbian and it only increased the degree of my harassment, they wanted to wear down my self-worth and knew noone else in the office felt like standing up for me. It got to the point where I had to file HR cases against two of them. Even when I broke the woman's dress code (yes there was a dress code mandating wearing skirts and dresses, Bank of America's IT department is fucking weird) and just wore concealing jackets and facemasks (this was before the pandemic) and baggy pants they kept pestering me until I got a doctor's note to work from home.

I know some of it was definitely because I'm a trans woman too, a vulnerable target, because few of my coworkers already bothered to talk to me, and when I went to HR and other company assets for help they never took my word above others. Trans Lesbians are more at risk of sexual abuse than most people because most people don't give a fuck about us or our safety.

I just get fucking incredibly upset every time I hear people pushing lesbian's boundaries to include men because that was the precursor to some of my abuse. So anyone who thinks lesbians are 'mean' for being fucking angry and upset when people push men on us can go fuck themselves, I could literally punch every man I see in the face and it wouldn't even be a fraction of recompense for what they did to me.

Just wanted to vent this after reading about a lesbian talking about how a trans man keeps flirting with her despite her saying no and it makes me want to rip something apart

-🌻

I am so sorry about what you had to deal with. I truly hope you’re safer now.

People don’t care about women’s safety in general, so when it comes to a trans lesbian it must be much much worse.

People who try to push cis and trans men in lesbianism are probably the same ones who say transphobic shit and who don’t care about SA.

[vincent-marie]

Hot Take: "Equal Fights" Predicted Online Faketivism

In some ways "Equal Fights" hasn't aged well in its effort to teach about feminism, that the execution wasn't handled as well as it could have been & that it wound up painting the feminists as straw men stereotypes. Rumor has it that even Lauren Faust, who did storyboards on the episode, isn't a fan of it in hindsight.

However this episode feels a lot more relevant to me now in our current age of online purity culture.

We live in an age of social media where young people, who had little to no power before, now have a tool at their fingertips to signal boost for those who need help the most. Teenagers can be everyday heroes in their own right. Frankly I respect you kids for being motivated in your sense of kindness & nobility.

However the problem is that unfortunately what good that can actually be done gets drowned out by a lot of harassment & bullying in the name of social justice. Especially if these young people's sources are very dubious & self-serving.

That's basically what Femme Fatale is as a character. She's a grifter who uses a progressive movement, feminism in this case, as her means for her own gain. Namely, robbing banks.

It's understandable that every super villain has a gimmick. Two-Face has the Number 2 & duality, FF could've just been a devious collector of currency with women imprinted on them. (I myself wish they would discontinue the bulky, useless penny & bring back the Sacagawea dollar.) But beyond that, she uses it as an excuse to get out of getting arrested, to claim that what she's doing is good for society at large, & above all to manipulate & influence the young & impressionable Powerpuff Girls.

The girls, being literal children, take her words to heart & implement them in ways that do more harm than good. From bullying boys in the schoolyard to letting Femme Fatale get away with her crimes.

Reminds me an awful lot of kids & young people on Tumblr & Twitter who get riled up by the words of self-proclaimed progressives who turn out to be TERFs, grifters, or members of the Leopards Eating My Face Party. Namely, the people who use progressivism & online activism to their own end.

And it's not just the Youtubers with the large subscriber base. It's also the individuals who reblog, retweet & bully even on a small scale to make themselves look good or feel like they're making a difference. Not to mention the burner & bot accounts being used to fan the flames of discord within progressive circles.

But what I find the most telling is that FF claims to be a feminist, she collects Susan B. Anthony coins, but she doesn't even know who Susan B. even was & why she was so important to American history.

Reminds me an awful lot of certain gay or trans Youtubers who would try to have you believe that "queer" is a slur, when in reality we not only reclaimed it as an umbrella term to include bisexual, trans, intersex, asexual, etc. people, but is an important part of our very history.

The slogan chanted demanding our basic human rights:

"We're here, we're queer

Get used to it."

It makes me sick that there are multiple generations of people who don't understand our own history. That there are people within our community who would promote & capitalize on that ignorance.

That's who Femme Fatale is. Willingly ignorant herself, selfish, manipulative, & would promote such lack of values to the next generation for her own gain.

And that's why she deserves to serve time in prison, while online faketivist grifters deserve to lose followers, go broke, & disappear into obscurity so they can't do any more damage.

[rgr-pop]

I’ve been Troubled again by the haters. an ngo anarchist again said she won’t support the abortion fund because she doesn’t like socialists. she’s been going around characterizing us as like brocialists— I can’t say that this doesn’t happen even when it’s just me a cis woman, because it happens every time, but it’s just crazy how they can get away with even trying that when it’s a trans woman (which other than me it basically is—obviously). i wouldn’t think twice about it except as you know if you’ve been following along, she organizes primarily with two men who we have accused of stalking and harassing us for years (and as you recall we’re not the only ones). she’s doing this in an organization with no democratic structure for recourse in this. she’s a paid organizer with a state ngo who has taken over a local advocacy org, she’s claiming to do this to “reform the ngo from the inside.” she’s organizing with almost exclusively men who have accusations against them. and she’s spending her time discrediting local non ngo abortionist women who have made accusations against guys she’s likes.

and i want to fight back, and i want to ruin their reputation. but (affirmations) : they don’t have a reputation. they don’t have credibility. they haven’t paid for ten peoples abortions. they aren’t building anything. nobody knows them. they’re not winning! they are not fighting for life.

[trollprincess]

So I can’t block ads on YT on my Roku like I can just on my laptop, so I’ve been blocking every political ad - no matter who it’s for - for being “repetitive.”

I voted by mail, my county has my ballot, I am DONE.

Now, at this point, I am basically only getting one set of ads - from Dave McCormack, against Bob Casey. The ads boil down to two types - “Casey is for THEY/THEM, not YOU!” and “Casey is for sanctuary cities and an ‘illegal’ raped a little girl!”

Now, the second one … I don’t want to dismiss anyone who experienced child sexual assault, and that is horrific. But when you decide to target child sexual abuse by targeting *churches* who generate WAY more of it than the one or two dudes your ads mention, come back to me.

As for the first, I can help but laugh. Because the first shot is the whole “He let *biological MEN* play sports with GIRLS,” which is an annoying thing they keep doing to make it look even more salacious, but also at this point they show a basketball team where one player is taller and … MAY be trans? Who knows? I played basketball on a high school with a very good basketball player who was a cis woman who would have gotten her gender questioned *constantly* with the femininity checklist these people are using. Moose was a very friendly and kind person with lots of athletic talent who was the lesbian we all knew was gay but never talked about it because it was the 90s and you waited to not come out until you left town. But she was never the most feminine person, and if she was going to school now she’d be getting harassed within an inch of her life.

But my favorite part of the ad is when they’re like “He cares about they/them more than you!” and they show a clip of what appears to be a cis male dressed in fetish wear at what I assume is Pride smiling and dancing.

And I know there’s somebody who’s going to go, “Well, he shouldn’t be out in public like that where kids can see!” Y’all, I have a dog that hates kids and people wearing masks. You know what I don’t do? I don’t talk him for walks during Trunk Or Treat in our town. Try that, but with kids.

Anyway, I wish I could vote against McCormack again, because Jesus, what a racist hateful carpetbagging sack of crap.