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Sorry haven’t been posting much. Been having a rough time

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anyway. i remember a 'progressive' show i was watching had a trans female character who wasn't super prominent but was in more than one episode. this same show had an episode involving a mental hospital where one of the patients was a 'girl who's insane and thinks she's a man'.

so anyway if you think trans men don't need representation, you can go bite a brick

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People calling me specifically a "theyfab" is really quite funny considering I explicitly don't use they/them and I have also never publicly stated or implied my AGAB.

People just assume I was assigned female because I talk about supporting transmascs & trans men having an important place in the queer community. Intracommunity discourse people assume anyone who disagrees with them has a vagina. Some of you really are not beating the transandrophobia & straight-up misogyny allegations. I'm not even transmasc, I just have, you know, compassion for my fellow queers?

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good morning, all sexualities are trans inclusive. this includes nonbinary people. this includes bisexuality. this includes lesbians. this includes heterosexuality. if someone says they are not attracted to trans people or devalues your sexuality based on your attraction to trans people, they are just a transphobe.

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1. That’s not homosexual that’s a genital preference. That’s also not what “males” means when you account for medical transition and that definition is transphobic and intersexist

2. Trans women and fems not only should be allowed to be in the same locker rooms as “young girls” but further belong there

3. You mean like how trans women and fems are considered bad for speaking out on transmisogyny? Like how cis men bar trans women from sports while ignoring all of the data that makes it clear that they don’t have some T “advantage” and that E suppresses T to levels even lower than for cis female athletes? Or how intersex women are barred from sports due to the natural variation of our bodies? Called men the second we have mildly high T levels—even as they tell trans men they’re weak women even after they’ve been on T for years? Or how transfems who stand up for trans men are accused of being transmasc MRAs pretending to be transfem?

Radical feminism is a disgusting fucking poison. This has nothing to do with “male subjugation” and everything to do with people purposefully weaponising the AGAB of a trans person against them by choosing the insults they know are going to hurt the most.

Potentially hot take but I simply think that insisting that transmascs who disagree with you are secretly closeted, transtrending TERFs is misgendering.

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No. And this is an extremely bad-faith response. It should have been clear from context that I was comparing the responses from the same group of people; i.e., that the people who call transmascs TERFs, for some reason, don’t tend to call transfems who support the same ideology TERFs.

The people who call trans women TERFs are bigots from the other extreme. That is, transmisogynistic transmascs, not transandrophobic transfems. Certain transfems get called TIRFs but that’s like. A different word. It’s still not great but like. You see how that’s a different conversation and how your response serves only to get annoyed at things I did not say, right?

saw a transandrobro complaining that that calling them TERFs is “misgendering”.

which is kinda fascinating! i guess in some minds, TERF = woman who has bad ideas? woman who is transphobic? and not an ideology and movement of violent transmisogyny, sometimes rhetorically shielded by a thin layer of vaguely feminist/progressive-sounding language.

guys, i think your analysis might be just a little off if you think the reason transandrophobia theory is being associated with TERFism is that people are calling you women.

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Also want to add a bit more.

Often, people don’t stop at calling them TERFs. They go further and say they’re “TERFs trying to get make people detrans” or “TERFs weaponising being AFAB.” These statements, I’d argue, imply misgendering. The first implies that the person themselves doesn’t think trans people exist and is trying to detrans people, which then implies that they themselves do not actually see themselves as or identify as men. That is dysphoria-inducing. The second statement puts anybody talking about the ways in which they are vicitimised for having certain traits or experiences in the same box as people who thinks that’s what defines what womanhood is. When you call a trans man a TERF and say he’s somehow “weaponising” having been AFAB, you’re saying that he is “using” his AGAB to appeal to TERFs and identify with them. Which… again, feels like implicit misgendering, like they’re saying he somehow is okay being seen as a woman, when, in reality, most of these men are asking to be seen as men, just men who experience “woman-specific” issues—which, if anything, defeats the very roots of TERF ideology.

I’d also like to point out that very few transfems are accused of being TERFs. Transfems tend to get accused of being mras or of being transmascs pretending to be transfem. Or possibly fake claimed as “not really transfem males” or whatever.

The disparity between what people call transmascs vs. transfems who talk about transandrophobia is pretty clear. And when you realise that only transmascs get called TERFs… how does that not seem like implicit misgendering? We know anybody can be a TERF. But that doesn’t mean the people calling transmascs TERFs does.

saw a transandrobro complaining that that calling them TERFs is “misgendering”.

which is kinda fascinating! i guess in some minds, TERF = woman who has bad ideas? woman who is transphobic? and not an ideology and movement of violent transmisogyny, sometimes rhetorically shielded by a thin layer of vaguely feminist/progressive-sounding language.

guys, i think your analysis might be just a little off if you think the reason transandrophobia theory is being associated with TERFism is that people are calling you women.

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part of the reason i could never take being against intersex transfems who are "too female" seriously is just... people do this all the time? people insist that the multiply marginalised in their community aren't really "one of them" all the time, and i mean ALL THE TIME.

when it's intersex transfems they're not male enough or have easier transitions. when it's black transfems they're too manly and aggressive. when it's muslim transfems they're not really queer because all muslims are evil misogynists. when it's disabled transfems they're just not intelligent enough to make those decisions about their own bodies. when it's transfems from the global south they're homophobic savages and couldn't possibly know what a queer person is.

but conveniently it's the white, perisex, raised christian, abled, western trans people who NEVER have to prove that they deserve a place in the community. do you people think you're being subtle?

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When you complain about trans mascs wanting to 'change' feminist vocabulary, because they are 'whiny mras' who can't handle not being the centre of attention...

You are a moron.

Literally, for the past 100s of years, trans men, have always been included in feminism, they were just never called 'men'. Don't believe me?

'abortion would be legal if men could get pregnant'

'men think their p-nises...'

'men don't understand what its like to have biologically stronger...'

'men don't want to (male sex specific thing)'

And you can think of 100 examples of this. Back when feminism started women was thought of as the sex, with gender not being viewed as separate to sex.

Obviously, we now have come to a new better understanding of gender. But this is not what caused trans men to protest the language being used.

Trans men understood, and know that we were included in feminist conversations, despite the misgendering, because women's rights (especially reproductive rights) were also our rights. Every law ever put in place to affect women, also affected us.

The only reason we are trying to widen language now is because of the rest of you! Because so many dumb ass people apparently don't understand this. Like yall genuinely believe trans men are forcing themselves into a space where we have been since the beginning.

And you say 'look at the words being used'. The words we accepted because fighting for our and women's rights was more important than the misgendering. And pretend that rather this being a sign of what trans men had to put up with, it is instead proof that we were not there.

So NOW because of YOU IDIOTS without any READING COMPREHENSION we are asking for change. This wouldn't have happened if you had bare bones knowledge of queer and feminist history.

Words change. The feminist community has always included trans men, and it still should.

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What’s interesting is that people never really say this about transfems. Mostly what ends up happening is people accuse them of being secretly transmasc.

So like yeah, this stuff does kinda just feel like a roundabout way of misgendering people.

You can disagree with trans people without saying they’re probably really another gender.

Potentially hot take but I simply think that insisting that transmascs who disagree with you are secretly closeted, transtrending TERFs is misgendering.

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Having a slow Sunday today ☺️

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This. And perisex people absolutely refuse to listen to us. I’ve had people explicitly ask for intersex people to tell them if they’ve said anything wrong, and when I’ve very gently reminded them that saying transness is based on AGAB only is intersexist, I’ve had my comments deleted and been blocked.

I’ve also posted a post completely unrelated to whether being trans should be based on AGAB, literally the entire post was just about abolishing the sex binary, and had perisex trans people call me transphobic and transmisogynistic. Because they saw an intersex person say “we should abolish the sex binary.” Like it’s literally the same thing as transphobes calling trans people sexist for wanting to abolish the gender binary!

Intersex liberation fights for AGAB as a system of oppression to be abolished- nobody would be assigned a sex in a perfect word. (For the perisex person about to comment this is stupid: Sex traits would be taken into account in a medical context but there would be no such categorizations as male or female - which are just lists of individual sex traits)

So, if your definitions of transness as a perisex person are solely based on AGAB, that means you are basing an integral part of your identity on a system of intersexist subjugation that directly results in our culling (selective abortions & infanticide) and subsequent medical torture if we survive the culling.

Defining trans woman as "Woman who was AMAB" and trans man as "Man who was AFAB" and transgender generally as "person who does not identify with their AGAB" is intersexist and it will always be intersexist. How on earth would these people define transness in a world post intersex liberation where nobody has an AGAB? The answer is, they don't want that world to happen. They believe in improving oppressive social structures juuuussst enough for sex variant perisex people to live comfortably within it, but not us. Not those of indeterminate sex.

I'm fucking done with giving grace to perisex devils (cis & trans) whose sense of self relies on my extermination.

I agree 100% and I wish more perisex people listened to us on this topic.

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IMO, the only sensible position vis a vis strictly single-gender and/or single-sex spaces, especially in the context of possible abuse, is to be anti-segregation and pro-bodily-autonomy.

Like it’s one thing to have a space that’s mainly targeted towards/meant for one group of people. Spaces built for women shouldn’t be made to cater to men. But. You just can’t have a “single-gender” or “single-sex” space without leaving some people in the dust. Even if we assume that we lived in a perfect world where nobody would need access to a “single-gender” or “single-sex” space they’re not technically a part of (i.e. an intersex female needing prostate care at a “male” health clinic, a trans man needing support from a “women’s” support group because he needs help coping with getting an abortion, etc.), that fucks over a lot of genderqueer and intersex people.

I’m a wo/man. Am I allowed in a “women’s” single-gender space? If I am, then there is also a man in that space. If I’m not, then that space is excluding women like me who very well might benefit from it and contribute to the community in positive ways. I’m intersex, I was born with a vagina and a micropenis and I don’t produce normal hormone levels on my own. Even though some intersex people may see themselves as intersex and female or intersex and male, many of us don’t and/or can’t truly be categorised as one or the other. What “single-sex” space do we fit into?

“Single-gender” and “single-sex” spaces also allow bigots extra opportunities to exclude vulnerable minorities. How many trans women haven’t had access to important resources because they’re “single-sex?” Or genderqueer transfems like myself who have been left behind by “single-gender” resources because we’re not strictly/only/fully women? It’s not like there are resources for specifically demigirls or wo/men. Where are we supposed to go when we need support?

Strictly single-gender and single-sex spaces that actively try to exclude anybody who isn’t the targeted gender and/or sex will always end up harming people by excluding them.

On top of that, keeping a space exclusively “single-gender” or “single-sex” doesn’t actually guarantee safety, and assuming it will only allows assholes the cover to harass and/or assault people. How many people, especially queer people, were sexually harassed and/or assaulted in “single-gender” or “single-sex” spaces? It’s not any more okay for a girl to laugh at another girl and hide her bra while she’s in the bathroom than it is for a guy to do so. It’s not okay for a guy to stare at another guy’s breast growth and snicker just because it’s happening in a men’s locker room. But I’ve heard so many stories like that from fellow queer, neurodivergent, or fat people, or people of colour, or pretty much anybody who isn’t gender-conforming, white, allocishet, neurotypical, etc.

Being actively against and ready to call out instances of abuse and harassment will always be more effective than just trying to police what “type” of person can access support.

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Because of how often these words and misused, I didn’t realise that my abusive ex and ex friends gaslit me and that’s why I feel like I can’t trust myself or reality as I thought I knew it anymore.

I also didn’t realise that I was being triggered when I’d see anything related to them: mentioned on social media, walking past their neighbourhood, going to a place we had hung out at… and my heart rate would shoot up and I’d freeze and lose control over my actions, which would be completely based on instinctually trying to protect myself and not actually thinking the situation through.

Or that I was traumatised.

When you dilute the meanings of these terms, you steal the language abuse victims and mentally ill people need to be able to talk about themselves, their experiences, and their symptoms.

found this today

Please use these terms correctly. Not doing so will deeply harm the people who actually have experienced trauma, gaslighting, triggers, and people who have NPD.

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Also side note that you to the transcriber for not censoring words. I know certain language can be hard to read and even harder to write, but it’s important that disabled people be fully included. And, when you censor words, even bad ones or offensive ones, you’re implicitly excluding disabled people who need the transcript from a full understanding/experience of what is being transcribed.

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A lotta transfeminine resources tend to neglect that estrogen will give you the more stigmatised parts of having a female body as well as the cool stuff. Like. I have cellulite on my thighs. Stretch marks everywhere. Its so cool and pretty and neglecting to mention this to transgender women simply shows how stigmatised they are.

Its also worth noting that your body will be imperfect the way all women's bodies are. You'll never fit the patriarchal ideal. It took me YEARS to love my breasts in all their wonkiness and stretchmark-ness, and then I once mentioned to a cis friend I used to feel self-conscious about them and she said "All women do at some point"

Like my point is we are women, and we have the same expectations of unachievable perfection placed upon us. But learning to love your body and your womanhood with its imperfections, its cellulite its stretch marks etc. Is very good.