#tagging those so the ppl who NEED to see it. see it
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Y'all need to SHUT UP about "transandrophobia/transmisandry". I saw a post the other day I haven't stopped thinking about, about transmisogyny, and like most the comments were going "Isn't that just transphobia?" (Which is already wild, 'cause it isn't. Since transmisogyny is the overlap of two very real oppressions: Transphobia & Misogyny)
But one was like "Sees post abt transmisogyny, checks blog, transandrophobe. like clockwork." When literally there was no posts on OPs blog that were hateful toward transmascs/men... just posts talking abt OPs experience with transmisogyny. (even if there were it wouldn't be "transandrophobia" cuz its not real, it would just be either transphobia or bullying/harassment depending on if their transness was attacked)
If you see people talking abt women's issues and think "This means they HATE men!!" (trans or no) you need to stop an think for a moment. Women on this site can't make ANY exclusive post (Transmisogyny, Lesbianism, or just talking abt being women) without guys coming along and going "How can I make this about me?".
And I know it's mostly trans men who are suffering through dysphoria and thinking about women makes them ick. But consider for a moment that you don't need to verbalize those thoughts, especially under posts that aren't about you/your experiences.
Please refrain at least from doing it under other ppls posts, I'm begging.
OPs note: I'm not being hostile/trying to start shit. Im just upset and wanna talk abt it. I'm transmasc myself (tho not a man).
#transgender#transmasc#trans man#trans masc#transmisandry#transandrophobia#tagging those so the ppl who NEED to see it. see it#small edit: even if this specific OP was talking bad about ppl who complain abt transmisandry. i see these comments literally every where#on trans womens posts that arent even abt transphobia/transmisandry. just abt being trans and a woman#gay men reblogging a lesbians post abt being a lesbian but in the notes 'this but with men'. 'me but im a man'. āim gay! but i like menā#and if you havent seen these comments then im very happy for you! doesnt mean they dont exist :)#idk if one person called ppl who complain abt transmisandry a 'mean name'. doesnt make it right to turn their posts into all abt being a ma
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ą“¦ąµą“¦ą“æ ĖĶĢź³ĖĶĢ )ā§#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. ćéēؼćäæŗććÆć¹ćæć¼#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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hey guys do we realize that the main difference betwen how kai and midori developed is that kai was given the chance to learn what normal life and love and family was like by working with chidouins while midori was kept under asunaros thumb all his life. do we realize that just a few changes could have kai acting just as cruel and merciless as midori. do we realize that midori is a victim of asunaro too, and though that doesn't excuse his actions it does make them more tragic. do we realize this or are we all being serious when we say midori is the only character who isn't worth redemption.
#77ngiez speaks#yttd#sou hiyori#yttd midori#midori yttd#you can also see parts of this with fake hinako too#how she used to be just as cold and cruel and she just barely began softening uo when being shown care by the dummies#also it was physically painful to have to call sou 'midori' but thats what everyone in the fandom calls him so. sighs. sacrifices had to be#i am sou hiyori apologist numero uno i think he is a tragic character and a victim of his situation#i dont think that excuses his actions or behaviors but i also think we as a fandom must all keep in mind that he was raised in A LITERAL#DEATH CULT#people call it creepy when sou says he wished he coulda killed shin himself but people just call it sweet and tragic when sei asked kai to#kill him himself#as if they werent both the same sentiment that came from the same place#ahem. clears my throat#i think ppl should be a little nicer to sou. hes just a silly guy#and believe me i have reason to hate his guts [not elaborating but my beef with him is personal /srs]#but he is in fact my blorbo#if u guys can forgive miley safalin ranger and shin#surely you can forgive sou. just a smidgin#posts i made bcs i got mad abt ppl saying 'MIDORI CANT BE A GREENBLING HES TOO EVIL'#as if those same ppl dont eat up kai and sara siblingisms#OK I NEED TO SHUT UP NOW. thank u to anybody who read these tags in full
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i nearly anon'd the thorki non-con fic out of SHAME but in two weeks it's become my third most clicked-on fic of the year, behind only a multichapter fic and a bit of angsty sifki porn lololol
#this is about 560 hits btw which i know is not much for bigger fandoms and it's just that i tend to be in some weird niche but gosh!#i'd written thorki before but it wasn't e-rated so if the non-con tag really did work against it then wow no wonder ppl write this pairing!#you ever been to reddit where someone posts about how their latest fic only got 20k hits in a week and you're like āWTFā?#and it turns out they're in some hugely popular fandom and that's the least read fic for that pairing on the entire site by a mile.#that's like glimpsing a parallel universe. what a strange place. why would any fic ever have more than 1000 hits omg!#and 1000 would be for if you wrote something Surprisingly Popular. like e-rated thorki non-con apparently is.#meanwhile 'cockroboros' may only have 35 hits but every one of those 35 people agrees that i was right to write that thing!!#and me and the other 86 people who wanted to see missy interact with jamie moriarty are besties now <3#SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TURN THE NUMBERS BACK ON OH NOOOOOO THIS WAY LIES MADNESS!!!#the sifki one had a bump recently which i must assume came from one of those 'recced it in a discord but never said a word' incidents.#those are increasingly common and i hope i am not alone in finding them ever so slightly creepy#if you're going to look at me you need to at least pat me on the head to cancel out the anxiety of that damn it!#*flashes back to when i hid that one ten'n'donna fic because nobody would tell me where all the readers were coming from*#fic related#anyway i think it's important to mention i wrote thorki non-con fic in case anyone following me thinks i am Unproblematic in some way.
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i think some of the trouble iām having with figuring magpie out is that i initially planned them to live in a world where elves are oppressed and the crows are an organization that trains children to kill so rigorously that many die before becoming proper assassins and until ~10 years ago the majority of mages lived locked in towers because the general population found them too frightening to live freely and bioware kind of smoothed out many of these edges in veilguard and now i donāt have like. any of those hooks i expected to have to anchor magpie as a Person In The World. i mean granted the mage thing was always going to be less of a big deal bc ik the culture around mages in antiva was different even when the circles Did exist but the other stuff i likeā¦ idk i guess i didnāt Expect the whole elven oppression thing to be so smoothed over and sanitized. but itās barely mentioned?? bellara straight up was like āwill people dislike elves after this?ā as if they donāt already? the shadow dragons are fighting slavery in tevinter, a thing that has historically happened Mostly To Elves, and yet thatās never mentioned directly. as an elf rook i never get to have an opinion on being an elf in minrathous. i donāt Get to tell bellara that they already hate us. i recognize it was prob wishful thinking but i had hoped we could play a smidge more with the dynamic of being a city elf contending not only with the fact that the elven gods youāve never worshipped are real but also that theyāre Evil. instead every other character talks to magpie as if these are her gods too and theyāre not!! they never were! but thereās never really an option to outright say that! the only chance iāve had so far to say theyāre not my gods was worded as if i rejected them for being tyrants with no option to acknowledge that iāve NEVER worshipped them?? as if city elves no longer exist to bioware when like. to Me that was the most interesting part of elves!
and obvs i figured the crows would be humanized a little more but it really does feel like everyone there has Chosen to be an assassin and could leave if they wanted. the fledgling jacobus is treated with like. kid gloves by both heir And the two talons present which is not exactly consistent with Training So Grueling It Kills Children? this is a much less big deal for many reasons (including that there is definitely a certain Lens the crows are allowing you to see them through as an outsider (and/or because you have outsiders with you for a crow rook) that may easily conceal many of the realities of the org. and also bc itās just not a big deal) but it is still kind of baffling to come up against when i came into the game as zevranlover69
#this is rambly iām just like. trying to figure out where she sits. in this new world#i donāt really Mind that the crows are a little less sinister bc honestly it works fine for magpie#i really never had intentions of her leaving the crows or wanting to#and to be fair like i donāt think itās Impossible that the crows are still kind of evil to children we r just not seeing it here.#the elf stuff tho??? insane.#bioware is so afraid of doing it āwrongā that they wonāt do Anything. the venatori are just generically evil guys#datv critical#da critical#not like extremely so but to be safe for ppl who filter those tags#i am overall rly enjoying the game! i just need time to like. headcanon it back into the thedas i know and love. crunchiness and all#ę¼«čØ#oc. magpie#kind of. mostly#z plays da#datv spoilers
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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do you ship helena bertinelli with anyone? if yes, then which characters and why? what's your favorite helena ship? do you have any helena rarepairs? (i know you've talked about helena/steph and you're so right about it, it's a very interesting ship)
!!!! i have so many ships for my best girl ever yes oh my god thank you for asking.
my top pairing is probably Vic Sage/the Question. Vic is the basic answer, but man. i love them so much. no couple has matched each other's freak like that have. Justice League Unlimited is a great adaptation of Helena in general, but it also did a great adaptation of Helena and Vic's relationship. how he just dedicates himself to helping her with no expected return, but also wants to make sure she doesn't go too far in a hunt for vengeance that never ends for her. i think a lot of characters often want to change Helena or expect things out of her for their own needs, like the Batfam and the BoP. but Vic is one of the few people who just wants her to be better for her own good. when he tries to stop her from killing it's not because of his morals, it's because he doesn't want this crusade to consume her. and i just. man i think about them a lot. Helena rlly likes weird little men who give themselves wholly to her.
Zinda Blake/Lady Blackhawk is also a top ship for me. tbh i just like Zinda. but i do love how Helena and Zinda interact, being the more rough and tumble members of the BoP. they're both outsiders, in different ways. Helena is an outsider of the Batfam and Zinda is literally from a different time and an outsider to the current world. their friendship is so genuine and i think if Babs and Dinah can have. whatever homoerotic nonsense going on during BoP, then Zinda and Helena deserve some homoerotic nonsense too. as a treat.
if we're willing to count New-52 Helena, then i enjoy Helena/Dick/Tiger. i think Helena and Dick being a past relationship is really important in pre-Flashpoint for Helena's development, though i don't ship them as a serious couple beyond a fling. but in the New-52, i think this throuple be fun. Helena and Tiger respect each other as two very driven, no-nonsense agents and then well. they both clearly have some kind of thing for Dick. so it's fun finding the balance of how they could all work together romantically.
and ofc. it's a crime to mention Helena ships and not mention Renee Montoya/the Question. every time they interact it's really fucking gay. it's so gay that Kate Kane, Renee's own ex, assumed Helena and Renee were gay. i cannot be convinced against this ship. i genuinely think this ship should be canon. i mean. DC did tease us with this moment from an alternate universe and it's lived rent for me since. fucking criminal for us to only get one panel of what we could have if DC let Helena be a fruit in the main universe. being in love with Helena Bertinelli should be a right of passage for the Question mantle, i personally believe. if you asked me like. genuinely who i want to see Helena date in the current comics, Renee is my top pick. (i would say Vic but he's fucking dead and the New-52 butchered him so rip my mans-)
lois lane (2019) #10
besides those ships, just about every ship for Helena probably falls into the category of rarepair. like you said i've talked about my love for Helena/Steph before bc god. i think it should be a thing more people ship. once i finish the fic i'm writing about them i will convince others to like it.
i also think Helena/Cass could be fun. in a *lot* of ways Helena and Cass are narrative parallels to each other. Helena was a victim of her family being murdered at about the same age Cass was forced to be a murderer. Helena grows up to believe in lethal justice because of this, and Cass grows up to be staunchly against it. Cass' Batgirl suit was made *by* Helena. they both want to be protectors of the most vulnerable people. they balance each other out in a lot of ways and i think they should kiss about it.
also probably a rarepair, i think Helena/Lady Shiva is fun. their fight during Birds of Prey (2010) had... questionable moments for Helena's characterization, but i do love so much that Helena knocks Shiva off her feet and gains a deep respect from Shiva. like. Shiva gives her a nickname and shows her admiration. i would like to see fanfic where Shiva continues to be weirdly admirable of Helena and bothering her non-stop. they could be a fun fucked up toxic yuri moment. this is just. so gay to me.
birds of prey (2010) #6
my most rare Helena pair would probably be Helena Wayne, actually. but specifically Helena Wayne of JSA (2022). ever since, for some reason, it was made canon that the current Helena Wayne was named after Helena Bertinelli and took the name Huntress to honor her i *cannot* stop thinking about them meeting. because in-universe it makes *no* fucking sense for Bruce to name his kid after *Helena Bertinelli*, someone he's regularly at odds with and doesn't like. it's clearly an awkward explanation to try to make the whole two Huntress situation make sense. (it's almost as bad as Helena Wayne in the New-52 using Helena Bertinelli as an alias.) but because it's such an odd choice, i do think it could be fun for Helena Wayne, when she's back in time to see Bruce, to find Helena Bertinelli to get to know the woman she was named after and Helena Bertinelli just being. baffled by the idea of *Batman* naming his kid after her. it could be a fun fucked up moment.
my other super rarepair is Kara Zor-L/Power Girl. they had like. one meaningful interaction of JSA Classified and it's been PLAGUING me. something about when Power Girl doesn't remember her past and she's seeking a friend, she instinctively goes to find Huntress? but it's wrong bc this isn't *her* Huntress and neither of them understand why Power Girl would seek Helena out? god it's so good. i'm always a big fan of ships where one person in the ship is *so* obviously using the other person as a replacement for someone they lost and they both know it. it's such a doomed angsty thing where you could play with Helena actually really liking Kara, but knowing that she's just a replacement for Kara's Helena Wayne. good fucked up shit man.
and lastly: i really ship her with Dawn Granger/Dove. there's no canon basis for this, they didn't have a ton of interactions even when they were both on the BoP. but there's a very kind innocence to Dawn that contrasts Helena's violence really well. and i do love a ship with a corruption kink vibe to it. let Helena corrupt Dawn. i could write such fucked up porn about these two.
#necrotic answerings#helena bertinelli#idk the ship names for most of these ships so idk how to tag them#most of them are too rare to have ship names. tragic.#anyway i ship her with so many ppl#i do ship her with tim as well but i didn't mention him just bc i default to viewing them platonically.#also think babs is a valid ship for her. but in a hatefucking way.#i prefer their relationship when they can't stand each other it's more fun.#but yeah the realistic āi want to see this in canonā options are vic and renee#and then the rest are āi'm alone in this ship but i see potentialā rarepairs#esp lady shiva. like i'm *really* tempted to write that fic.#i just need to read more comics with shiva.#actually the most fucked up option: cass/helena/shiva incestual threesome.#that has potential. but i don't think anyone shares my vision#also i've seen posts arguing for helena/jason#and while. longterm i disagree. i do think them sleeping together is on the table.#but largely ppl always bringing him up when talking about her sours me to that ship. so eh.#also i would ship helena/bruce in a fucked up way if that one batman: the brave & the bold episode didn't piss me off so bad#justice league unlimited is the *only* good adaptation of helena i'm so serious.#everything else eats ass with her. esp the arrowverse.#and the birds of prey movie.#but jlu does good by her and if you just watch that show you do have a solid grasp of her character#it adapts her story into a child-friendly medium in what i think is the best way it could've#anywhore thank you for this ask <3#you actually sent this when something rlly shitty happened so it was a nice little distraction from life to think about my answer#OH WAIT YOU KNOW WHO I FORGOT.#kate spencer. manhunter. I ship her with helena too.#lethal female vigilantes unite.#BRO those two deserve a teamup mini or something. they'd click so well.#dc hire me to write a huntress/manhunter mini series i promise i won't make them gay (my fingers are crossed)
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I love that one of the roles fire plays in this series is to represent how all consuming desire can be, and how itās framed as something that can be world ending when uncontrolled.
So naming unnatural, untamable green fire āwildfireā is therefore a stroke of genius. Itās the representation of how we humans manufacture our own doom in the pursuit power, of how uncontrolled desire will eventually blow up in our faces.
And the fact that barrels and barrels of it sit fermenting under Kings Landing, Westerosās breeding ground of maniac desire, and the capital the ambitious and corrupt flock to for what it promises? Itās perfection!
#iām sure this has been mentioned before~#fire is love and passion and desire and our desires and loves and passions can hurt us and those around us when not checked#green usually represents summer/nature/earth in asoiaf so is wildfire george warning us that an eternal summer is just as dangerous as an-#-eternal winter? maybe? who knows~ but itās a fun thought#danyās dragons being an embodiment of fire is kinda the whole āwith great power comes great responsibilityā lesson in asoiaf and this is-#-why danys humanity is so fking important. while dragons aka the embodiment of fire canāt plant trees#-dany the girl dany the mother dany the human can and she can make a difference by using her fire responsibly <3#thatās why sheās nothing like cersei whoās connected multiple times to wildfire#fire and dragons =\= wildfire#wildfire is the human attempt to recreate something as effortlessly powerful as dragons. but itās man made so itāll never be the same.#but itās important that itās man made because it showcases mans desire for power and itās important that itās gonna blow up in mans face#tho this brings up questions about rhaegal and what narrative role heāll play as the green dragon with green flames#i do have an idea of what it could be#jon SNOW aka the BLACK bastard riding rhaegal whoās the GREEN of SUMMER?#everything needs a balance š¤·āāļø#alsooo#the greater the light the darker the shadow and drogon is both the black beast and the winged shadow cause danyās an icon ;)#my very poorly worded point here is that the dragons provide some sort of balance to their riders :D (just a theory lolol)#asoiaf#jon snow#daenerys targaryen#pro daenerys#youāll never see any dany slander on this blog sheās my girl my idol my cutie pootie <3#i donāt want ppl to think that iām one of those ādany = the othersā weirdos who think sheās just as bad as the cold inhumanity of the others#patootie* whoops#i love me some messy tags
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame ā
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her ā
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years ā
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was ājust a madman with a box,ā only for him to agree, and to also call her āmad, impossible Amy Pond,ā reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life ā
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood ā
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself ā
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about āthe psychiatrists we brought her to,ā and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys āChoiceā is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#āmadnessā as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says āppl always leaveā#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as āmadā people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's ācrazyā was Mels' ādelinquency.ā Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special ā#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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my favourite.. well i guess it could be called "happening" in media, i think is when I'm reading about some edgy/dark, horror-adjacent "everyone's constantly having a bad time" setting or story, in a book or a game, and one if not several of the guys in there are just gay offhand. it's a very specific thing i enjoy when its in these horrible (in-universe, emotionally) environments but they're still there
no homophobia no titilation. romantic relationships (even het ones) have zero presence or importance really. but Just Letting You Know: this character is probably a closeted lesbian
diversity win: this mercenary is bisexual! he mentions he has sex with men. diversity ????: a coin flip rng roll can sever both of his arms and crush his sanity for the rest of the game. diversity i-don't-know: this can happen to anyone so its not because hes into men, you just have shit rolls
#i don't know what it is but i...like? appreciate it?? yeah its just kind of there. this is not the kind of Media where its important at all#its so funny but also good 4 you. sex with a man before we go get infected with the parasitic horrors of the brain and try to kill our pals#yaoi in mortal peril. yuri in mortal peril. normal in mortal peril. i see no difference: the horrors are unending#darkest dungeon#wolfsmund#lisa the painful#fear and hunger#side comment: i was watching a video particularly on the last one and i find it funny that the reviewer added a warning about it#do not play this game if you're sensitive about anything. what do you mean? anythinh. This Game Contains Scenes type of warning#but also thats the exact warning i need to give whenever i talk about Wolfsmund. if you have any issues..about anything just don't look tbh#sorry do i seem like a wweirdo for saying WE NEED A TRANSMASC KNIGHT WHO GETS HIS HEAD BITTEN OFF TOO or some shit HDKFBBJE#body horror#gore#ACH SORRY i shouldve prolly added those tags for filtering out my weird text for ppl at the FRONT of the post. do you still like me.#armour clanking
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tbf i do think the story could have given the wol more of a connection to it/the antagonist outside of solely through wuk lamat and that probably would have alleviated a lot of pplās problems with it
#they did this in hw and sb which is how you still feel like the main character while aiding someone else#at least thatās how it felt to me lol#i donāt think itās bad to want to be the mc in a game where you have been it since the beginning ahdhdjsk#i need a text post tag#like the only reason you fight sphene is bc sheās like we calculated youāre the best fighter#dawntrail spoilers#also i did think we were gonna get more erenville and krile so many times in the first half i was like can i take a little trip with them š„ŗ#only to get sent to wuk lamat again ahdjdk but i do like her. i can see why she would be annoying tho#like if youāre not into characters whose political campaigns are āhappinessā agshdjskdk#idk thereās a lot of ppl who arenāt into super happy upbeat characters and i think thatās fine. iām not one of those ppl but i get it#also i donāt think the only way to do this would be like oh a foreigner exploring an exotic world OMG TACOS#contrary to some popular posts iāve seen lmao. surely we can be more creative than that#also there was a ton of OMG TACO in it already#anyway. ahdjfkks#one day iāll make a post about things i really did enjoy#maybe i should think about that today
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote āHi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.ā (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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hiii so!! hereās a little write up about the docmartyn mermaid/marine biologist enemies-to-lovers au i mentioned here, significantly later but also much longer than i intended it to be. written in collaboration with @daisycraft and @kingtheghast thank u both for letting me steal your very good thoughts and words <3
au contains themes of dehumanization and mentions of violence/injury. the tone gets a little dark at certain points, so just be warned!
ā ā ā
the only thing really known about mer is that theyāre sneaky, scarce, and very dangerous. a siren song will lure an unsuspecting ship into rocks and a crew into the water, where teeth and claws and cold, crushing depths await them. so when thereās reports of what might be a mer spotted a few miles off the coast, a team is sent out to deal with it before it causes any casualties.
itās rare to have one this close to land. itās even rarer still that its successfully netted, and successfully sedated. several of the crew members are heavily wounded in the process, but no one dies. and, in an unheard-of turn of events, that also includes the mer.
and you see, up until now, mer have only ever existed in vague sightings: pieces of dead ones caught in fishing nets, grainy phone camera footage, strange findings of scales and old dwellings left behind in the ocean, and the wild tales of shipwreck survivors. so this whole thing is kind of a Big Deal. for the first time ever, a live, healthy mer specimen has been found, captured, and brought in to a facility for observation and study. and the honor of leading this unprecedented study goes to doc.
(the role would be a much bigger honor if the mer wasnāt an annoying, stubborn, spiteful little bitch.)
so doc gets transferred over to the marine biology department, where a huge tank has been retrofitted into one of the bigger labs, and brought on to the study of specimen 9201223āwhich is a terrible name that doc isnāt going to remember, so he starts calling it āmartynā after a childhood pet fish of his.
but yeah, once it settles in and stops hiding all the time? it turns out that āmartynā is a bastard of a specimen. the lab keeps it semi-sedated as part of the safety protocol (they feed it fish laced with a numbing drug that limits its ability to vocalize, so it canāt lure any of the staff into drowning themselves or breaking it out; the sedation is a side effect) and yet it still finds the energy to cause Problems for the research team. itās tearing up the kelp and gravel along the bottom and stuffing it into the water filters. itās slamming into the side of the tank, scaring the shit out of the scientists. itās trying to bite the interns fingers off during feeding time. itās eating the rubber ball they gave it for enrichment and getting sick. itās ruined at least three laptops and countless lab reports by splashing the personnel at every opportunity. and it seems like itās actively trying to be uncooperative with every test they run.
working with the damn thing makes doc want to tear his hair out, but heās also stubborn as hell so it becomes a rivalry, a battle of wills; doc hates this fucking fish, and heās pretty sure it hates him right back.
it doesnāt particularly like anyone, of course, but heās convinced it targets him on purpose. it starts to sit at the front of the tank by his desk whenever heās in, swimming back and forth, staring with those freaky blue eyes, rapping on the glass when it gets too quiet just to see him jump. it hides whenever other researchers swing by, but when itās just martyn and doc in the lab, during his late evenings working overtime? god, canāt get rid of it. can barely get any work done with it bothering him.
and then. itās one of those late, frustrating evenings when martyn is being particularly bothersome while doc is just trying to get some paperwork done, and heās sick of it. heās so frustrated with martynās constant tapping on the tank that he rips out a page from his notebook, balls it up and whips it across the labā¦ and then watches as martyn darts off, going as far as his tank will let him go after the ball of paper before he eventually turns and goes back to doc. and thatās the moment doc realizes, ohhh my god itās going stir crazy. oh my god. it just wants to play.
suddenly, doc has a new perspective on his relationship with the mer, and a lot of things start making a lot more sense. martynās not just banging on the glass to annoy him when he plays music, heās trying to get him to change the song to one he prefers. the haphazard woven band of seaweed around his head might not be some sort of stress response from running into the glass too much, but an accessory, a form of personal identity. the way he stares during observations, the way his freaky eyes follow docās hand down the page as he writes his notesāmaybe heās observing doc and his behavior right back, trying to make sense of him.
and, yeah, martynās still uncooperative and bitey and impossible to deal with as ever, but doc starts feeling less like heās working with an animal, and more like heās working with a very stubborn person. itās a lot to wrap his head around, and the more he notices it, the harder it becomes to ignore.
still, he and his team run their tests, gather their data, publish their findings. and the media eats that shit upā¦ at least during the first year, when the captive mer is still novel and sensational. after a while, public interest wanes, the studies get more niche, and funding starts to slow down.
thatās when some of the faculty board members approach him with a proposal.
you see. the care and upkeep of a live mer is extraordinarily expensive. the personnel, the food, the medicine, the aquarium chemicals, the water and electricity bills, etc etc etc., itās all getting to be a bitā¦ much. and, frankly, theyāve already gotten plenty of research done as is. so they were considering that, well, it might be time to retire the mer program and do some final reports, and then perhaps they can move on to some other, less costly studies.
doc doesnāt realize exactly whatās being suggested until the words euthanasia and dissection are dropped. he starts protesting, stammering about theā the ethics department, andā and species preservation, andā and they canāt justā
and heās told, quite plainly, that the thing's going to die anyways, or have you forgotten, doctor, that we don't know how to keep a species like this yet?
this tank isn't enough for it to live healthily, or very long.
we donāt even know how old theyāre supposed to get in the wild.
better to get something out of it before it gets sick enough to be spoilt.
doc takes a deep breath, and tells them to get out of his lab. the board members exchange glances, and tell him theyāll give him time to think on it. doc tells them, louder, to get the fuck out of his lab.
ā¦sitting there in that empty room, lit by the blue glow of the tank, doc feels cornered. because yes, sure, martyn is uncooperative and annoying, but alsoāgood lord. heās smart enough to be uncooperative. heās smart enough to annoy him. those luminous blue eyes that stare at him through the thick glass are freaky and inhuman, but theyāre intelligent. and they just want toā
he could go to the ethics board, sure. he could go plead his case and show them all the evidence, look, look, heās not just a monster, heās not just an animal. just spend some time with him, youāll see. but thereās a lot of people who wonāt be happy with that. a lot of very influential and rich people, people whose surnames are carved into plaques outside the building or have their companies attached to big research grant funds. and if they stop paying, doc doesnāt really have a say in what happens to martyn.
he can continue his research quietly for now, but it feels like the rest of the facility is breathing down his neck with expectations and deadlines. doesnāt help at all that the mer still doesn't want to be any sort of cooperative, either, because itās just delaying an inevitable end that it doesn't even know is coming. the thought that heās the only person able to protect martyn right now is fucking terrifying.
doc sets his paw on the glass tank, and the mer on the other side smiles a big, sharp smile, and mirrors him with a webbed hand.
#sorry for writing That and then calling it fis au. my bad. heās š tho u have to understandā#iām going a little bit insane abt this au. this is like a fraction of everything we have for it. itās been less than a week.#the merfolk worldbuilding goes kinda crazy ngl#docmartyn#<- technically. this is all set up they havenāt kissed yet they still need to learn how to communicate first#trafficshipping#hermitshipping#i feel bad using those tags but i know itās important for ppl who wanna filter but also#i feel like iām throwing this absolutely insane crackship into the tags where people might see it. sorry. uhm. š #feel free to ask questions i know this is so much and yet like. so little. thereās a Lot not explained in this post LOL#i might not answer EVERY question tho <3 lowkey want to write something for this so Weāll See but#fis au
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ive been playing so much hades 2 atp i feel like the first Big early access patch is gonna legit change my life....
#SPOILER WARNING FOR THE TAGS SKIP IF YOU RLY DONT WANNA KNOW MORE ABT HADES 2#omgggg once the surface path gets an update..... more stuff being there after you defeat eris... getting to olympus maybe??!??!#also a new weapon being added like im excited already#i keep imagining like what if when you get closer to olympus you can actually meet some of the gods?? (maybe even like ares or athena hhhh)#and omg whos gonna be the guardian of the area after eris#and whos gonna be the idk-the-name-for-whatever-arachne-and-echo-are of that area???#i kinda hope its another witchy person bc so far for the surface those ppl have been some kind of witch/sorceress#idk who that could be tho..... is cassandra witch-adjacent??#ok so you need that time sand (which you get from chronos) and entropy (which youre gonna get from the surface) for the dissolution of time#so which figure from greek mythology would make sense as someone youd get entropy from (i have no idea im only like 5 pages into the iliad)#im just so excited for everything theyre gonna do w this game#going back to the next surface area stuff. ive been making myself get used to seeing eris not as the final guardian#aka i cant almost die to her bc that would severely fuck up the rest of that run once theres more after her#and i cant pick the knucklebones for her bc theres gonna at least one more guardian after her who may be more difficult so i gotta save that#also im slowly but surely getting all the keepsakes to the highest level#also trying to get as many of the prophecies as possible rn and why are two of the chaos blessing so so difficult to get#kinda makes me wish their keepsake would idk make chaos gates spawn more often or smth like that....#bc then id have Some chance to get a chaos gate after i actually have a duo boon gndvcndhdb#also i gotta let some random enemies kill me more often if i see a gate so maybe i can get that other blessing idk.....
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terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally
re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.
Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.
#toy txt post#this was meant to be a quick post it got a bit longer and more in depth than i planned oops#i just hate when ppl act like All Dogs have Inherently Correct Judgement Of People#like from every angle. its funny to joke about but i know theres ppl out there who might be feeling like#very fragile in their gender or smth and seeing a post like that if they meet a dog that normally hates men but not women but it doesnt#recognize your inherent true gender im sure seeing shit like that post can be a horr#got interrupted by a phone call while typing it and the post is glitching so i cant see where that tag is cut off so uh#dogs are like ppl in that they can develop biases and have bad judgement and they dont always get it right#they are not like ppl in that it is not possible to ask a dog to examine its biases. you cannot make a dog take a class on#critical race theory. you have to work to socialize and desensitize them against those biases or at least make sure those biases theyve#developed dont negatively impact ppl. in this sense i guess im morally obligated to try to learn more spanish to see if it helps my dog#chill. shes nervous around all new ppl but parents have anecdotally noted she extra dislikes men speaking in spanish. she was a stray so we#dont really know her history. she also does Not like fire pokers outside. weirdly even tho its basically the same tool she is unfazed by#the indoor poker for the woodstove? but ig she wouldve had less exposure to indoor woodstoves as a stray in Louisiana?#but i can see like ppl having a little backyard barbecue and threatening the big mastiff looking stray dog with a fire poker and i think#that region of the country prolly has a higher number of spanish speaking ppl than our current residence so the odds of her running into a#spanish speaking guy who isnt very nice are prolly higher just due to a denser population as a whole. and we think shes part mastiff which#i think is a breed already prone to disliking strangers that probably cooked up into a little cocktail in her brain#luckily shes bad enough with All Strangers that i think honestly it would be hard to even notice her bias? but. ig i need to see if i can#desensitize her? idk. sighs but im scared to open duolingo now š. but i could maybe do it. when other ppl wear hats she fucking hates it#i wear a fucking face covering mask that looks like a giant eyeball she looks at me a little quizzically but is fine. jester hat? fine#i am like that video of the person desensitizing that horse except thats just like. living w me. minus the cat thing. id never do that to#the cats or dog. everyone would hate that. squirrel already cant tolerate being held while a dog is out cos he THINKS im going to do that.#it would traumatize the dog cos he'd injure me escaping and then prolly her trying to scare her off to get past her and shes just minding#her business. solo i cant hold that long but is less likely to injure anyone. shadow. first of all all 3 are way too heavy to be holding#like that#im getting lost in the tags again sorry im chewing caffeinated gum. i should go try to buy some catnip#ive made my Phone Calls. im gonna try to go get dressed and buy various catnip products. maybe lure him with a toy this time. need my#parents to help me but not be so visibly Ready to help me next time cos i do not want to chase his ass again...
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god felt so bad abt how shitty my period cramps are that she sent me an compensatory angel in thr form of mindblowing period horniness. amen
#nsft#was genuinelt baffled when i first discovered other ppl find period sex or even jacking it on their period gross n uncomfortable...l#skill issue clearly#i guess its kind of a kink for me.. just find it rly fun n hot n it feels rlyyyy good esp after so much pain. relaxes all those muscles#small blessing my roomies off on her holiday today so i can properly get into it š no need to worry abt being noisy#and yeah its messy but thats part of the funnn. put a towel down go crazy.#fake covered-in-blood enjoyers when ppl who like period sex come at them:#also been getting back into reading smut lately n ive found a couple fics that have given me a LOT of food for thought šššš#some beautiful minds on this planet earth. manifesting gay sex with someone who can match my dysfunction fr#trying so hard not to immediately fall asleep now ive cleaned up and showered...im so cosy i havent felt this relaxed in weeks š#possibly even months. but i need to nip to lidl before it closes to restock my ibuprofen stash for tonight. and also EAT DINNER!#and then my guardian angel Memory Foam Pillow awaits me.... mwah#let me tag this nsft sorry to anyone seeing this unexpectedly i ammmm blissed out and dont care <3#i hope i have a nice weekend :-)#.diaries
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