#that or see if you can emotionally manipulate an adult

[bigfatbreak]

Speak of the Devil

chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / (we are here)

part one beginning / next

[babydykestar]

im convinced that my parents think im stupid

[topazadine]

Avoiding therapy speak in writing

I think we all know by now that therapy speak is irritating and unrealistic, especially if you are writing in a fantasy world that doesn't even have modern psychology.

Part of the reason that it is so annoying is that it is the definition of telling instead of showing: characters are just plainly informing us of their feelings rather than making us work for a better understanding. It's cheap and boring. Instead of making your characters seem like complex individuals with their own hangups and difficulties, they seem like plot points programmed to tell us things.

But obviously, you want to put these people in situations and have them talk about it! How do you do that without sounding maudlin? Here are some options.

Listen to real arguments/conversations

I cannot stress enough how important it is to listen to how actual real human beings talk to each other during heightened emotional states. They don't have to be nasty abusers, and they don't have to be perfect angels, just everyday people doing their normal thing.

Of course, I'd hope you're not seeing people argue all the time, but if you do happen to see it, listen carefully and notice how people actually address their problems. Think back to tough conversations that you have had, even if you wouldn't classify them as arguments. Consider how people acted and reacted to one another. Notice how normal humans talk about issues outside of therapy, even intelligent and emotionally evolved people.

I've had years of therapy, and even I do not talk in therapy ways about my issues when I'm talking to my family or friends. It just feels cheesy and fake outside of that particular setting - plus, it freaks other people out and can seem kind of manipulative. Try talking like that in a real conversation and see how uncomfortable it is. You'll understand why avoiding therapy speak is important.

Consider the character's own hangups

Just as everyone has their own unique speaking style and mindset, so do we all have our own argument styles. These are often informed by our pasts and upbringing; they are as varied as our own histories. However, there are a few different options.

Someone with a happy upbringing may be more assertive and willing to address their problems because they had that demonstrated to them as children.

A spoiled child will grow up to be a demanding adult who refuses to give any quarter.

Those who got yelled at a lot as children may shut down and fawn to avoid getting hurt.

Someone who grew up in a violent household may mimic that behavior and get incredibly aggressive when upset.

Individuals whose parents didn't teach them emotional regulation will lash out and get loud.

Manipulative people may stay very calm and gaslight the other person, or they may get hysterical to garner sympathy and make people focus on comforting them.

Someone who has gone to therapy may revert to their original argument style, or they may imperfectly apply what they have learned in a way that feels a bit unnatural. They may start out with rage, then force themselves to calm down through grounding techniques.

People who have been coached through previous emotional outbursts could demand a time out, then fail to actually calm themselves down.

Some may refuse to acknowledge they are upset and insist, in increasingly forceful terms, that they are fine.

Others may get quiet or crack a joke to ease the tension, but it doesn't really help.

Keep each confrontation short

IRL, emotional confrontations are generally not that long. They don't go on for hours and hours, though it can feel that way. No one is going on and on about their feelings and sharing every little detail of how they feel (at least not that I know of personally, maybe other people are different).

Even the worst arguments I have had, the real nexus of the argument was maybe an hour or two, though the fallout lasted much longer. I'd say there was an hour maximum of real, active confrontation, preceded or followed by hours/days/weeks of simmering frustration.

Why? Because arguments are exhausting. You don't have the energy for that in the heat of the moment. Yes, feuds and fights can last years, but each actual confrontation is short.

For longer, more serious issues, hash it out over a few sessions rather than all at once. It's rare to get everything out of the way immediately unless the characters already have a strong, loving relationship.

Show incongruencies

Especially for more reserved people, they will likely have their emotions leaking all over the place but won't actually say anything. As such, focus on body language while keeping the conversation more focused on the plot. For example, Character A might be crying but still trying to argue their point about whatever is going on.

Address physical complaints instead of emotional ones

In many cases, people will use "I'm tired" or "I didn't sleep well" or "I'm not feeling great" as shorthand for whatever is actually bothering them. It relieves pressure by not making them talk about upsetting matters while still addressing their discomfort in some form.

You should also consider the fact that some people can't connect physical sensations to feelings, so they may genuinely feel ill and not really understand why. This is especially common in people who can't emotionally regulate or have been through trauma.

For myself, I tend to somatize my feelings, so I might not feel upset, but I will feel physically sick. My stomach will hurt, my chest will get tight, or I'll get a headache, but my emotional state will seem calm. This isn't all that unusual, and many people experience this to different degrees.

As such, you can have your character say that their stomach hurts, or that they have a headache and can't discuss this anymore, or that they need to go lie down because they're dizzy. If we know they're relatively healthy, this can be a clue that they're getting overwhelmed but either cannot pinpoint their emotions or don't want to discuss them.

Let characters advance and retreat

A lot of the time, someone will address a scary emotion and then retreat again, sometimes over a period of hours, days, or even weeks. This is normal: most of us don't have the emotional fortitude to forge ahead through something difficult all in one go. Character A may say something vulnerable, then change the topic, laugh it off, say they're done discussing it, or even leave the situation.

Leave emotions partially unaddressed

Again, it's rare for someone to spill out everything they're feeling all in one go. As such, have Character A address the most important thing - or the least important, depending on their level of emotional maturity - and let it be done for then.

They might say their small piece, but when someone tries to probe deeper, they don't have an answer, or they get "stuck" on that one emotional level and cannot go further.

If Character B keeps pushing, then they may get incredibly upset and push back, or retreat.

Have Character B point out the feelings

Works especially well if the other character is a close companion or a parental figure. Often, people who know us really well will have better insight into our emotions than we do. Or, we might have good insight into our emotions but are still too afraid to open up. Having Character B point out the issue gives Character A grace to be more honest.

I can't tell you how many times I've been really upset, so I've distracted from the issue by getting angry about something completely different. Then, my mom will gently point out that I'm not actually crying about my new plastic cup being broken or whatever; I'm actually upset about XYZ. In that moment, I realize I've been caught out and admit that yes, that's what I'm really upset about.

Have Character A address it with a third character

Who among us hasn't gone to someone else to talk about our feelings? Having a third party serve as a sounding board is normal. Sometimes, Character A will feel such catharsis from this conversation that they don't address it as thoroughly with Character B.

Of course, you can use this to your advantage and create more tension if the third character gives bad advice or is biased.

Remember that just because the third party responded well does not mean that Character B does. You also have to avoid omniscience and remember that Character B wasn't privy to that conversation.

Have one confrontation be a stand-in for a larger one

I always think about the "The Iranian Yogurt Is Not the Issue" post when I think about this. Often times, things like not doing the dishes or whatever aren't actually the big deal: it's lack of boundaries, communication, or respect. A minor argument can be shorthand for a larger one that is too challenging for the characters to tackle.

This isn't just creating drama for the hell of it, though; it's about exploring the larger issues without making the characters lay it out on the table. A good reader will be able to see it's not about the Iranian Yogurt as long as you set up the relationship well.

Currently, I am writing a story where Uileac and his sister Cerie go to rescue Uileac's husband, Orrinir. On the way there, Uileac idly comments on how he wonders where a waterfall comes from because he's trying to distract himself from thinking about the fact that his husband is kidnapped and possibly dead.

Cerie, being pretty wound up too, starts arguing with him about it because she's like "why is this relevant? We're kind of too busy to think about geology right now!" Uileac gets annoyed at her for being so aggro, and she gets annoyed at him for being so irreverent. Both of them are upset about something completely different, but they're too scared and panicked to actually address that, so they release their frustrations by complaining about waterfalls.

Those bad vibes have to go somewhere, but neither of them are very good at talking about their feelings (though very good at stuffing them down). As such, they take the pressure off by sniping at one another. You've probably done this too, when you get into a dumb argument about something absolutely pointless because there's something you don't feel strong enough to discuss.

There's also the fact that if you're mad at someone about something but feel it's too stupid or petty to discuss, that frustration will leak out and everything else they do will annoy you, leading to a bunch of irrelevant arguments.

Use "reaffirmation" gestures

I talked about this in a different post, but after an argument, the "make up" stage doesn't always involve going "ohhh I forgive you" and big hugs and kisses, especially when the two characters aren't emotionally mature.

Instead, Character A makes gestures that reaffirm the relationship. This could be offering to do something Character B needs, making plans for later, or changing the topic to discuss something the other character cares about ("how are your cats doing?") etc.

Note that these "reaffirmation" gestures aren't the same as the cycle of abuse. This is more when two characters have had a difficult emotional conversation but aren't really sure how to continue being emotionally open, so they revert to something safer that still shows they care. They're not over-the-top gestures either, but more a special attention to something the other person loves. Knowing what the other person loves also demonstrates the depth of their relationship.

As always, I can't tell you what to do with your writing.

You are the crafter of your own story, and if you want people to talk like therapists for whatever reason, that's your choice. However, we want characters to feel like real people, and most real people don't lay it all out on the table every single time they're upset. If they do, they might be trauma vomiting, which is icky in and of itself.

Healthy communication isn't always perfect communication. People can have strong, loving relationships and still get things wrong - we're human. Having people calmly and rationally and easily talk about their feelings every single time is not only kind of boring, but it also feels weird, because unless we're primed to discuss those difficult topics and know we're perfectly safe, we're not going to do that.

People don't even do that in therapy, where they are paying for the service of talking about their feelings! Therapists also don't always do that IRL!

We're humans, and your characters need to feel like humans as well. That means letting them be imperfect communicators and using context clues rather than making them do all the work for the reader.

If you liked my advice, consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning, for $3!

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Here is something I really want people to understand about Natalie’s arc in the adult timeline:

TW: Discussion of suicide

I know a lot of people have been upset about Natalie’s storyline revolving around Travis in the adult timeline. But her obsession with investigating the circumstances of his death is about so much more than romantic love. It is about her fragile will to live.

The scene in which Natalie breaks down while telling her ex-sponsor about the pact she and Travis had to never commit suicide is so important. This is a moment of real emotion in between her manipulation, you can tell it’s genuine, and it reveals why she has been so desperate for answers.

When Travis dies by an apparent suicide, it doesn’t just devastate Nat emotionally— it threatens the very foundations of her survival. If Travis, someone who understood her darkness and shared her determination to resist it, ultimately broke the pact, it forces Natalie to confront the horrifying possibility that their defiance was futile, that the darkness is inescapable, and that her own resolve might crumble as well.

So her investigation into Travis’s death is just as much about her own survival as it is about justice for him. She is confronting her own existential despair. Travis was, in many ways, her mirror— a reminder that someone else who carries the same guilt and trauma as her can still survive. So she has to prove that it wasn’t suicide.

This is why, after she finally begins to believe that Travis’s death was a suicide and throws away her investigation, we get the scene of her with a gun under her chin fully prepared to pull the trigger.

And this is why it’s so meaningful to see Nat finally find meaning outside of her pact with Travis while she is at Lottie’s compound.

Natalie’s story is about so much more than a man; it’s about her continued battle for survival, her fight against despair and hopelessness, and her desperate search for meaning in the aftermath of trauma.

[anastasiareyreed]

two years have already passed...

today, two years ago, all of Ukraine woke up to explosions, sounds of flying fighter jets, gunshots and screams of terror. today, February 24, is the anniversary of russia's invasion of Ukraine. full-scale invasion, escalation of ten-year genocide. I can't explain the feeling when I first saw wounded people, when I first heard a rocket flying overhead aimed at a residential building.

it is emotionally difficult to comprehend all the terrible events that happened during this time. everything I'm trying to cover here as soon as I get my thoughts together. and everything that I don't have enough strength for...

Bucha massacre

Mass burials in Izium

Mass execution of Ukrainian prisoners in Olenivka

The tragedy of Mariupol

Defense of Azovstal

Bakhmut Fortress

Ecological disaster in Kakhovka

The tragedy of Hroza

Tens of thousands of Ukrainian children forcibly deported to russia

Torture of civilians

The battle for Donetsk Airport

The Ilovaisk Tragedy

russian manipulation and propaganda

burning Ukrainian books, destroying Ukrainian museums and entire cities, torturing people for tattoos connected to Ukraine. forced re-education of children and adults who are forced to learn the russian national anthem, worship portraits of putin every day and receive russian documents in order to receive water and food in the occupied territories. daily shelling and casualties, daily struggle for survival and freedom, which russians want to take away from us.

all the terrible cases of execution of Ukrainian soldiers: beheadings, castration, amputation of limbs, execution of prisoners. burning civilians alive, raping women, men and children, torturing even animals, even little mice. tons of photos and videos that I don't want to add here because even the slightest glimpse of all those images breaks my heart and causes me to have a panic attack. however, you can find it all freely available on the Internet by simply typing in keywords.

instead, I would like to show photos of rallies in support of Ukraine, which took place today all over the world. to find out where each photo is from, see the alt text for them.

despite the fact that in russia they celebrate the war, Ukrainians, who were forced to flee from the war, gathered at rallies around the world, together with residents of the countries that gave them shelter. the civilized world expresses sympathy and grief, with calls to provide arms to Ukraine so that we can defeat russia as soon as possible and return peace to our lives.

it's sad that more photos can't be added to show as many cities as possible that came out to support us today. but I've been looking at all the photos and videos of the rallies all day today and I have tears of gratitude in my eyes. thank you all for continuing to stand with Ukraine!

[touch-starved-reader]

Brahms Heelshire SFW Alphabet

not proof read.... enjoy

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

On a scale from 1-10 brahms is a solid 9.

Brahms preferes to show, not tell. He likes to show affection with little acts of service like making you a sandwich. But his absolute favorite is  physical touch all the way. When you first move in he is a little nervous to touch you, but once he is used to it he will bear hug you every chance he gets.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Brahms is a clingy best friend, and he definitely has rules he set up for his friends even when he was young. He will get jealous easily and probably lash out at you. He doesn't want to be mean, but he has rules for a reason, if you would just follow them he would be a great friend.

As a friend he doesn't quite see you as an equal, unlike his nanny you have no right to tell him what to do. He sees nothing wrong with bossing you around and manipulating you. None of this is done with bad intentions, he just thinks he knows better than you. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves cuddles,but his favorite is to hold you like you are a stuffed animal. He most definitely has a body pillow of you in the walls so this is just the position he is used to. However, sometimes he just wants to rest his head in your lap and have you play with his hair. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Brahms can do the bare minimum with cooking and cleaning, he knows how to but prefers it if someone else does it for him. 

In regards to settling down, in brahms eyes as soon as he lays his eyes on you, you are his forever. I don't think he would ever do an official wedding ceremony, but he would most definitely give you a family heirloom ring and would refer to himself as your husband. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

To put it simply, the only way out of this relationship is death. Either he kills you, you kill him, or one of you die of natural causes. This man doesn’t do breakups, and he sure as hell isn't letting you go.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

As I said before, Brahms wouldn't do an official ceremony but to him, he committed to you and you committed to him the moment you stepped foot in the house. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He tries his best to be gentle when he can, but the boy is a bit unstable. He has the emotional maturity of a child but the body of an adult, you will get hurt and scared at some point during your time with him, but know it is not his intention and he might apologize for hurting you but will always demand an apology for whatever upset him in the first place.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

His hugs are big, warm, soft and often. At first he might squeeze too hard, but with gentle reminders he will get used to it and give the best hugs. His favorite way to hug you is from behind while you are doing your daily tasks.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He is saying it soon and often. I feel like if he thinks you will leave near the beginning of your stay at the Heelshire manor, he will tell you he loves you and beg you to stay if he thinks you might leave him. Most of the time he says it because he wants reassurance that you love him too. So when he says he loves you, say it back. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

If you have seen the movie, you know Brahms doesn’t share. He might get violent towards the person that he thinks is too close to you, lock you up in the attic for a bit, or just be generally clingy once the person leaves. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

The man likes to keep the mask on, but forehead kisses and kisses on the lips are a must. Once he is ok with taking his mask off in front of you, he will kiss every inch of your body you let him kiss. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Why would you want children? You have him. In all seriousness, the thought crossed his mind once, he thought of baby trapping you, but the idea of having to share your affection was enough for him to solidly decide, no kids, ever. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

This man has his whole day scheduled, he will be waking up promptly when the piece of paper says he will be waking up. He expects breakfast to be made by you most days, but after he starts spending less time in the walls he will make eggs on occasion for you. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Read this man a bedtime story and give him a goodnight kiss every night. Otherwise he will be cranky and either sulk or make it your problem. I think he likes to sleep with you in his arms when he can, but his little bed in his room doesn't fit him very well anymore, and it sure wouldn't fit the both of you. However there are plenty of beds in the house, so don't worry. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You are going to find out most things about him on your own, he doesn't particularly talk much. But things like getting to know he is a human, well he will reveal that when he feels he has no other choice, or he just gets extra jealous of the doll. Either way it isn't happening quickly. . 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He is pretty easily angered but just as easily calmed down. Just start going by the schedule and throw in an apology, everything is fine and dandy again.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) 

This man has a shrine and journal dedicated fully to you. He will remember every little detail he can, wether it be to make you happy or to manipulate you, hard to know. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you gave him a good night kiss, not the doll but him. Its not like he felt it through the mask, but the proximity made him absolutely ecstatic. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

This man is a protector, anyone tries to hurt you and they won't live to tell the tale. He is so protective that if he thinks you are in the slightest bit of danger he will step in and do something, it might just be moving the doll to freak out the person threatening you, or he may just break through the wall. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in a lot of effort into the relationship, not always in a positive way but he is trying. He will on special occasions pamper you though. He is the type to do the simple things to show love since the two of you never leave the house. But he may put something nice for you on the grocery list or set up a nice stay-in movie date. Long story short he tries to keep you happy with what he can. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He is childish in a lot of ways, he needs to be told to pick up after himself, and 9 times out of 10 you will be doing the household chores. That's not to mention the temper tantrums. He doesn't know how to control his emotions very well. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He is actually very concerned about looks, he feels like since there isn't much he can do with his face he covers it. He is also very shallow with his partner's looks, yes he is desperate for love but if you weren't up to his standards you would have been on the chopping block. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Oh this man couldn't survive without you. He doesn't have his parents any more and its not like he could just look for another nanny. On a fundamental level he needs you. That being said he would also be sad and lonely without you. He would miss every little thing you do and drive himself mad without you. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

This stinky man loves to take baths and shower, he just didn't have the means to while living in the walls.I feel like he would be very well groomed if he was given the chance. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who is rude or has a bad temper. In a weird kind of way, he wants someone motherly, sonmone who can take care of him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

This man sleeps on a schedule, he may stay up late to watch you through the walls but he is definitely still getting up at the same time every day. I also think he is the type to not move a lot in his sleep. The most peaceful time is when Brahms is asleep.

[zith-ipeth]

A dog came into the shop today, his name was Maximus

This is a post about transandrophobia and man hating platitudes

I’ve been sitting around the edge of this discourse because I have stakes and traumas in it, but idk, fuck it, it shouldn’t be discourse.

I see a lot of comparisons between humanity and our canine cousins, it helps me understand modern politics and social issues. This post might not make sense, if I say things that are harmful, I do not mean it. And please for the love of all that is holy correct me, public or private, I’m learning, and making mistakes

—————————

When I was younger, a member of my aunts family, a large mutt named Hunter, jumped on me in a playful gesture, he was about as big as I was at 9 years old, and all muscle. He knocked me over and left a massive claw mark on my stomach. He was a fantastic dog, excitable, very cuddly, loved to play with his siblings. This isn’t to say he was perfect, no one is, he got aggressive, and has barked and bit people before

This can happen with rescues, turns out abuse can often create animals that cuase harm because that’s what they know

No one is one dimensional

In middle school, I was sexually assaulted, emotionally abused and manipulated by a trans boy my age, we were both young, far too young. I can’t say he was nice man, when we grew up he refused to acknowledged any of the harm he had caused, and caused further harm as he got older. But at the time, I knew that what happened wasn’t a cold calculated process, he was too young to have learned this from anything other than abuse that happened onto him

This can happen with trans folks, turns out abuse can often create people that cause harm because that’s what they know

But no one is one dimensional…

———————

Tumblr has been having this whole moment with transandrophobia/transmisandry, it’s, a lot. And for some reason I thought as all this was happening, that my beliefs about it would be kinda, one sided.

Cis men are violent and “bad” due to masculinity: I’ve seen this a thousand times, first and second hand, I’ve felt it, in the shaking hand of a girl sobbing and I’ve felt it as bruises on my abdomen, left by boys older than me.

Trans men are violent and “bad” due to masculinity: I’ve felt this, I’ve been hurt by this, in a way that broke me down in a way nothing else has

But I still felt, off, about it

Mostly because like, yeah, masculinity can be bad and scary, this is true. But it’s not one dimensional like that, masculinity can be amazing too, masculine cis men have saved my ass from being bullied in school more times than I can count.

No one is one dimensional

Also, misandry, even separate from transness, IS REAL, I was a guy for a long time, I felt it. My friend, who was cis, felt it, and still feels it. They have trouble making friends in college because people view them as a threat, due to their masculinity, that’s a real problem

And that problem is multiplied by the intersection of transness

And like yeah, it’s not as societally pervasive as misogyny, but even if it’s small, it’s still there, and still hurts people

I have every excuse to perceive trans men as violent and evil, and yeah, sometimes men, and often trans men, get scary to me, cuase it clicks a response in my brain. But I’m also an adult, and know that I share community with my cis and trans masc allies.

And somthing interesting about the boy who assaulted me, is how fast people were to take away his transness, my friends started using his old names, using dehumanizing pronouns he didn’t use, saying that it was “man behavior”. He’s a trans man, he was a bad person, those arnt connected, and one shouldn’t effect the other, being perceived as the gender you are isn’t a “reward” for good behavior. he was an asshole, and a liar, but he was man.

I get how one can be scared when someone is part of a group when someone in that identity group hurt you, but learning to love those people is incredibly fulfilling, and is something you must do as a trans ally

The relationships with men, trans and cis, I’ve had have been some of the most fun, flirtatious and physically/mentally stimulating relationships I’ve ever had

——————

Today at the pet supply shop I work at, a dog named Maximus came in

Massive, maybe 115 pound mastiff, clipped ears, docked tail, golden chain collar. His person was a built man, shaved head, full beard.

They came in for a self serve bath, and when they left, Maximus was wagging the nub of his tail, tapping his paws and whining, smelling all the amazing smells in the store. I got down to his level to pet him, and he jumped on me, playfully. His size made the visual of him jumping on me a little scary, but the kisses made it a lot better

No one is one dimensional

—————

Trans men face unique transphobia, if that bothers you, fuck off. If you want to demonize a trans man for shit they didn’t even do, for shit that other men have done, fuck off.

Judge people for who they are, not for who they might be, I don’t give a shit how scary a man looks, try and understand them regardless

I love dogs, and sometimes they’re scary, but that’s something I need to work through

I love men, and sometimes they’re scary, but that’s somthing I need to work through.

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace love and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[xcaffeineandcuddlesx]

♬ i bet on losing dogs - mitski, your best american girl - mitski ♬

- evening, the undercroft -

“do you… think i’m good?”

the question stuns me. it’s not perplexing, nor unsurprising, but i’ve never considered it. of course, objectively, i believe he’s good. he’s sebastian sallow, for merlin’s sake. headstrong and making sacrifice after sacrifice even if it’s not his own because he’s relentless, driven by love. he’s always had good intentions no matter how he achieved what he wanted. even if it meant lying to his best friend. even if that meant manipulating people like me. even if it meant killing his uncle.

“i’m sorry?” i ask in return, unsure if i heard it correctly.

how could i not? it’s silent otherwise. merely a low crackle of a fire in the undercroft’s makeshift hearth and a ticking clock somewhere, but it’s just us. I shift to face him more directly as we lounge on a sofa, the tall stacks of books and some miscellaneous homework long forgotten as we had drifted into thoughtful silence.

i can see the misery, though. his downcast eyes being filled with such despair, such conflict.

“please, i need you to be honest with me. am i good?… am i a good person?” his voice cracks and it’s a painful reminder that things weren’t supposed to happen as they did. not that either of us needed another reminder.

the end of our fifth year is coming too quickly to an end. the classes are becoming shorter, more of a blur as the days fade away like smoke in the wind. it’s disorientating and the disassociation we’re experiencing is weighing heavily on every aspect of our lives. most days, it’s like i’m floating through the halls, like i’m in a weird sensory deprived dream as the faces and voices turn unrecognizable, like muffled buzzing, not even sure of the day of the week. the o.w.l.s came and went, i think, and now the both of us are left wandering the castle, trying to pick up the broken pieces of our youth.

the students are ecstatic about the upcoming summer, and every mention of their plans gouges a small part of me out, carving deep until i’m hollow. i hear them talk over meals about their family’s summer houses or trips they’ve planned, the promises of exchanged owls and slumber parties. all the while, i’m being congratulated by faces i’m not even sure i’ve seen.

my first year introduced into a world of whimsy and i become the “hero of hogwarts”. most have no idea the things i had to do to earn such a title. it’s made me sick. physically, mentally, emotionally sick. the late nights, overloaded course work, expectations, favors, expeditions with classmates, watching the cruelty of poachers, raids, battles, trials, death threats from adults in full confidence of them knowing i’m only a student, the blood on my hands.

i couldn’t just stop it once i had begun. i couldn’t just return to safety behind the castle’s walls and resume classwork as though the safety of every man, woman, and child in the school, neighbouring towns, and highlands were at stake and i was the only one trusted to, expected to, and even capable of coming to the rescue.

i didn’t sign up for this. neither did he.

we weren’t supposed to face the world the way we did. we weren’t supposed to do the adult’s jobs, no matter how grown we believed we were. we weren’t supposed to be heroes, we were supposed to be kids.

that’s what we are; kids.

he’s just a boy. a crestfallen, scared, mournful, alone, and traumatized boy.

so now isn’t the time to define what “good” means or to explain that the world isn’t comprised of black and white or “good” or “bad”, but of horribly muddied shades of grey that are entirely up to perception. he doesn’t want to hear about the intricacies of morality. he wants to be reminded he’s still capable of being loved.

i can’t possibly look at him the same way. nor can he look at me the same he did at the beginning of the year. i’m nowhere near a saint, but perhaps our histories is what makes us perfect for each other. after all, the pot shouldn’t dare be the one to call the kettle black.

“of course you are, seb,” i attempt to soothe him, mustering as much emotion as i could. he nods, hearing what i said, but not as through he believed it.

the conversation was difficult to hold after that. i knew he wanted to say more. he wanted to repeat his offenses and for me to kiss away the worries anyhow. he wanted to remind me of what he’s done and push me away, to self sabotage his growth to have an excuse to hide away like a recluse without shame. he wanted- no, he needed more. he needed someone, now more than ever. he needed me. needed to be told he’s human beneath it all, that his blood bleeds red the same as everyone else’s and isn’t tainted black like he believes. he needs to be reminded that he not only can be loved, but that he is.

it’s been especially hard since ominis has left us to our own devices for now, needing a break to rationalize his life and choices. neither of us can blame him.

i feel… nothing. nothing at all and everything all at once. i’m spread thin. i’m doing all i can to be here for sebastian and still preoccupied with my own life and loss. professor fig died. he died and i know it wasn’t because of me, but if only i was a little quicker, a little stronger, a little wiser. if only, if only, if only. i knew him for only a few months, but he’s been paramount to my new life. he was a beloved teacher that truly dedicated his time to the betterment of his students. i feel that his avoidable death is pinned on me. i was supposed to a savior and his blood has stained my hands like all the others have. what good are my abilities if i can’t even save those that help me? what good are they if i can’t even maintain normalcy?

nothing has been the same. not me, not sebastian, not ominis, not anne, not the faculty, and certainly not my relationship.

we’re closer than ever, i suppose, but how close is close when each of our minds are wandering light years apart?

sebastian fiddles with the corners of the parchment he’s been toying with for the last hour. it’s another drafted letter for anne. an apology, first step towards reconciliation, a goodbye, self-justification, explanation, i haven’t any clue at this point with how many he’s written.

he’s defeated and solemn, like how you would expect a kicked puppy to look: vulnerable and strangely still trusting despite it all. he looks the part, too. his close are wrinkled, eyes are sunken and devoid of the typical glint of happy mischief, cheeks stained with hours of silent tears, hair tousled, his nose reddened from the constant weeping-induced nose running, and lips chapped from dehydration.

there’s no book that could ever teach someone to manage this type of pain, this level of compiled guilt and shame. we weren’t born with the know how on gluing the pieces back together one by one when your entire world falls apart.

so i do the only thing i know i can to help. i take the note from him and set it down, the ink having long been ruined with blotched mixes of tears and ink, and pull him into a hug.

the sound he makes, heart wrenching, is never one anyone would expect to hear from him. halfway between a choked sob and stifled breath, he lets his face fall on my shoulder and unashamedly breaks.

his body convulses, racked with forceful and raw barks of pain.

i have to blink away several tears myself as he crumbles, what little composure he had left tearing and ripping at the seams. the lump in my throat is hard to ignore as i fear it may strangle me soon. he grips at the loose fabric of my uniform where he’s hugging me, grounding himself to the only constant he has in his life right now.

with one hand making small strokes up and down his back, i use my other to smooth down his hair, holding him close to me.

“i didn’t mean to… i didn’t want to become a bad person,” he manages through shaky breaths and hiccups. “ca-can’t even go home now. haven’t got anyone else to go to.”

“i know, baby, i know.”

i couldn’t maintain a brave face for him and began to sniffle. we were a mess. holding each other and breaking down like the world was ending because for us, it was.

when it’s just the two of us, hero of hogwarts and brave (former) best duelist of the castle, we could let our facade fall away, knowing nobody else could truly grasp the weight on our shoulders. we don’t have to be a formidable duo when it’s just us. we don’t have to pretend like the other isn’t broken seemingly beyond repair.

i eventually lean back, letting him lay across me as he cries until my blouse is soggy. until he’s exhausted and limp.

i try to quiet my whimpering to not wake him, but i can’t help but think of where i’ll go after this. even if i do go back home, my parents wouldn’t understand, they couldn’t possibly.

i’m so different from the person i was merely a handful of months ago. my hair is shorter, poorly chopped after being singed too many times in battle, and my hands are rough with callouses and scabs. i’m unsure how much of my former self i still resemble. at the very least, i know that i have more skin covered in scars than i do freckles and that i have new muscle growth from the running, climbing, borderline parkour, and combat.

i definitely don’t think, act, or speak the same way i did before. i’m not the same bright and eager little girl my parents had proudly gushed over when i received my letter. i can’t go home like this and risk breaking their hearts. i can’t just resume my life like i haven’t done the things i’ve done.

i remember reading of a spell called “obliviate”…

not too sure what i want to do with this yet, but i have an idea of where it’ll go ! i have a bit more in writing, so it may become a mini series of sorts? i’m not sure how well i like this prompt, but i wanted to put it out there anyhow because broken seb is my emotional support animal rn.

please give any feedback and tips you have !!

there’s so much potential with both of their stories and i know angsty seb is popular, but there’s more to him than masked anger and guilt. he would be hardest on himself and begin a downwards spiral, searching for validation that he’s not as bad as he thinks he is.

don’t get me wrong, i love a good seb x mc that’s joyful and loving, but i also love to put characters into hypothetical snow globes and shake it real hard.

stay happy and hydrated,

xoxo ellie

[watermelon-jooce]

OKAY dont flame me for this, but heres a Saiki K hot take that I think shoukd be talked about more.

I feel like people REALLY have to start taking what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka more seriously, because its pretty bad the more you think about it.

⚠️Large TW for emotional manipulation and gr00ming undertones. ⚠️

(‼️if you're gonna debate please read all first‼️)

I can't find the specific panels, but what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka was taking advantage of him, he pried on his insecurities.

Kuusuke was seen telling Toritsuka how much "better" he is than Kusuo, how he has better powers, how he should be put on a pedestal instead of stupid old Kusuo.

Toritsuka is seen before hand disliking his own powers. He want's more from them, he wants them to be less useless. Kuusuke knows this, because Toritsuka is honest and probably told him.

Instead of offering help, he pried in on that insecurity. By telling Toritsuka that he's better than Kusuo, that he's more important, Toritsuka was drawn in so quickly. He'd never really been told or praised for his power before, most people not believing him for being a Medium or others saying his powers are useless.

When Toritsuka was finally told by Kuusuke that he was better, that someone finally believed he was better than the person he always compared himself to.

Toritsuka seems easily impressionable, we don't get to see his father much if at all, and we haven't heard about his mother at all. Im assuming he lives in the temple with little to zero family, being raised by the temple instead of his own parents.

He probably lacked good life lessons, Toritsuka always goes to others for help, he begs because its all he most likely knows how to do.

Kuusuke knows this, and he uses it against him. He knows Toritsuka has a grudge against Kusuo for his powers, he knows Toritsuka is insecure about his own, he knows Toritsuka is vunerable with this information.

And what does he do? He emotionally manipulates Toritsuka into helping him attack Kusuo with the Cat Tank.

Yeah, you could be thinking, well Kuusuke is a bad person mostly in a whole(I could go on and on about why he is the way he is), and that he's bound to manipulate others into doing what he wants, but when you really think about it, Kuusuke is an 19/20 year old adult that took advantage of a 16 year old kid.

Could it be considered that Kuusuke technically groomed Toritsuka? Grooming is not always 'adult takes advantage of a child for something explicit', grooming can be taking advantage of a child for something in return. It's not always for the other, much worse, option, I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler, im saying he groomed Toritsuka to get what he wanted, which was to attack Kusuo.

I have seen someone talk about this before, I can't remember who but someone had mentioned the gravity of it and the strange undertones of what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka, finding a child and taking advantage of his insecurities to get what he wants through emotional manipulation.

I know you could say that 'Kuusuke is about only 19/20, he's not much older than Toritsuka who is 16/17' But that is heavily, heavily besides the point. The point is that Kuusuke is still an adult. Kuusuke is known to be one of the smartest people to live. Toritsuka is a child, and Toritsuka is still in school.

Again, please understand I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler. I don't want people to flame me for 'thinking that.' Kuusuke obviously has a lot of problems of his own, and emotional manipulation is something he is used to doing and probably doesn't even realise he's doing it because it helps him get what he wants.

I can see how its just emotional manipulation, and I am willing to hear anybody out on this and debate(politely), and if i'm wrong I will admit I am wrong.

But AGHH this has really been eating at my brain. Kuusuke manipulating Toritsuka using his insecurities and stuff to get what he wants is just super weird to me. Kuusuke is obviously a more creepy character, and I believe if the anime were more serious it would play a lot more on that fact.

But yeah, this is what I believe what happened. Again, its a really heavy topic so if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out. I was just thinking about it and after seeing one person mention it a while back its been in the back of my mind for a while.

Not saying its wrong to love Kuusuke, I know the fandom is split on him. I personally don't care about whether someone loves him or not, cause one side you can say he got his freak off to his brother, but the other side says he was just excited and not doing anything weird. Kuusuke is a really interesting character and I really wanna do a big essay on him like this soon.

But yeah thats all I had to say, just remember if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out.

(can you guys tell i dont wanna be destroyed)

[ratbastarddotfuck]

it blows my mind when I see self proclaimed transfeminists saying that movement towards masculinity is never punished, and movement towards femininity is always punished. because I'm sorry, but that's simply not fucking true. it may be true for trans women/transfems, or queer/gnc men, or cis women under certain specific conditions, but movement towards masculinity is absolutely punished in most people presumed to be women by society (this can include butch transfems!!!! "why are you transitioning just to act like a man" sort of shit). I didn't spend my entire life being abused physically and emotionally by family, teachers/employers, and peers for being a tomboy, then a butch, then a transmasc for other trans people to come up and say that AFAB people aren't punished for being masculine. when I was 15 years old my father told me I was "lucky" I didn't cut my hair shorter than my shoulders, else I'd "look like a dirty butch dyke". so many adults - father, stepmother, many of their friends, my grandparents, teachers, STRANGERS - made it their life's mission to forcibly feminise me, and I mean that seriously. I was forced to wax my face and body from the age of 12 until I moved out at 17, because I looked too "mannish" and it was an embarrassment for my family to be seen with me. I have been routinely punished, abused, bullied and manipulated for being a "masculine girl". this is not an uncommon experience.

like, seriously, go talk to a butch. go read stone butch blues. it's free. and stop assuming shit about experiences you have never had. ALL deviation from the societal norm is punished. that's the fucking point.

[signanothername]

After seeing what you thought about the "dadmare" trope, I got a little curious and wanted to know your thoughts on shipkids. Like even if you don't know them all, just Nightmare having children as a concept, I want to know your thoughtssss.

Personally I had this whole spiel about Nm kind of being a manipulative parent that uses different types of manipulative tactics to get his kids to compete with one another. Just like- a way of getting them to spread negative for his own benefit. It's a lot to describe atm but that's the short of it hehe-

Tbh ship kids aren’t my thing, like I don’t hate them, just neutral on them, I don’t find them interesting shshhshs

And as for Nightmare, god forbid he actually becomes a parent dbdhhdhd, this bitch is way too emotionally immature for that to do well with kids

Like tbh my thoughts on this topic are complicated???

But in general, I don’t see Nightmare as a parent, like at all, he doesn’t strike me as someone who wants to have kids or start a family of his own, he’s literally a semi-god, self proclaimed king of negativity in the entire multiverse, extremely powerful and literally immortal, what would having kids add to him?

Like I think it’s an important question to ask: why would Nightmare want, let alone have, kids of his own?

Spreading negativity? He has 3 slaves for that, he can even do it himself thank you

A Familly? He already has a headache inducing twin, that’s one too many

A heir? Heir for what? He’s immortal, and his possessions and power belong to him, and he doesn’t intend on sharing or entrusting it to anyone else (not that anyone deserves to in his eyes in the first place, not even his own family and blood)

Nightmare sees no benefit in having kids, cons more than pros, they add nothing to him, but take so much away, effort and time and resources that he doesn’t intend on wasting in the first place

Like, even if it added anything to him, Nightmare’s just not the kinda person who even wants kids, he isn’t in the mood to pay attention to a weak pathetic child that couldn’t survive on its own

That being said, if he did become a parent, then he’s definitely not gonna be a good one, he’d be neglecting at best, and extremely abusive mentally, emotionally and even physically, at worst

Like believe me when i say that an animal has wayyyyyy better chances around Nightmare than a kid does (and that says a lot when it comes to Nightmare)

Nightmare never had an actual active parent in his own life, and the closest he had to a parent figure, was literally a tree, Nightmare’s too ignorant on the subject of parenting and was super neglected as a child himself to truly understand how to take care of his own

Like why would he become a parent when he doesn’t even fathom the prospect of being one?

Like the closest thing I can imagine Nightmare doing when it comes to parents/parenting, is read books regarding that, not to take care of his would never exist children but cause he’s curious, only to realize “huh, parents are supposed to hold you close and kiss you and encourage/ support and love you??? Sure mother would’ve done that had she been able to, surely she loved us as much as this book speaks of”

Hell, i’d say if Nightmare had a child, it’ll be completely accidental than an actual want/ decision on his part, and a horrifying one to him at that, like I can see Nightmare genuinely freaking out at the prospect of a child of his own, but not in the sense of “oh I don’t know how to be a parent, how shall I take care of you little one?” And more “I never wanted you in the first place why do you exist? You sure as hell would never belong to me” He’d literally abandon them, if he didn’t just immediately kill them

Not to mention, I don’t think Nightmare has the patience to deal with children generally, he barely tolerates the 3 adults living under his own roof

Yeah, Nightmare and children don’t mix well, keep them separated chchhc

He will hold no love or any attachment to his supposed kids, they will not even be in his radar

Does that mean I believe that Nightmare is incapable of love? No, I believe Nightmare is cable of genuine love in general and is absolutely capable of loving people, he loves his twin after all (even when he’s in denial of it)

It’s just that he’s way to blind to that love that settles within him, he’s too stubborn and too afraid, too in denial, and he stomps on any semblance of love, kindness and compassion he has cause he believes it’s irrational, that it’ll get him killed

Plus no one showed him any love, why should he? Not that Nightmare himself believes he’s capable of love, with the hatred consuming his soul, and with how he never truly developed any true love for anyone other than his twin, Nightmare fully believes he’s completely incapable of love

And so he still hurts the people he loves, he still hurts Dream, and he doesn’t hold much guilt for it, he enjoys it even, a sort of sick satisfaction at seeing those who are weaker than him groveling at his feet, a deep rooted hatred that overshadows that love inside him, he’s sadistic and crule and full of hate as much as he’s full of love

His love for someone doesn’t mean they’re safe from him, Nightmare’s better to deal with in a business manner than an emotional one (even when he’s a being that acts on emotion than brain)

Anyone has better chances of being safe from Nightmare if they make a deal with him and somehow convince him to agree on the terms in which they are safe from him in exchange for something he wants, than if they simply rely on his love for them

Cause Nightmare’s hatred always wins against his love, but Nightmare’s fair when it comes to holding his end of the bargain, he doesn’t appreciate deal breakers and it’s beneath him to do so, as long as the other party holds their end, he’ll hold his

In conclusion, keep kids away from this bitch xbbxbxbx

[itsnotbird]

Orphic ~ File 2

Yonderly (adj.); mentally or emotionally distant; absent-minded

Bucky!Barnes x Fem!Reader

Warning: Talks of past trauma, needles, Tony Stark being an ass

Find part 1 here

Dr. Bruce Banner hadn’t left your side in hours.

He ran as many tests as possible, and the results laid out on the table so he could discuss it with Tony. Confirmed that you were an enhanced individual, they could only make a scientific guess that you had some kind of psychokinesis, or the ability to manipulate energy, given the fact that Sam and Bucky were still having fantom jolts.

One thing that was left undetermined, was the reason why you weren’t waking up.

“She’s perfectly healthy, well, a little malnourished but nothing medically significant that is preventing her from coming out of the coma.” Banner says as he rubs his eyes and puts his glasses back on.

Tony watches your heart rate, your oxygen levels, then walks over to the screen where the 3D scan of your brain is actively showing an almost hibernating state. He shakes his head, trying to understand.

“There’s nothing we can do to just wake her up? Inject her with something?” He asks, making the doctor shake his head.

“We don’t know how her powers are going to react to it…” His tone suddenly trails off, then he looks around the area to make sure that the super soldier who flat out said ‘no poking or prodding’ wasn’t around. Then when the coast was clear, he presents his idea. “We could test her platelets, it’s a small procedure I can do quick. It might give us more answers and I could use them as separate test subjects.”

It peeks Tony’s interests, he looks back over to you.

“I wish we could just be in her mind, see what the real problem is. It feels…wrong, treating her like an alien.” He says with a hint of protectiveness. Normally, before he had his daughter, he would have jumped at the chance at using someone spectacular for science.

Now, he can only frown and say no.

Though, another idea comes to him.

“We need to see inside her mind, we can’t but we have someone who can do that.” He says, then calls out for FRIDAY’s attention. “Tell the little witch her services are needed.”

Bucky sits with his arms folded in the common area. Steve sits in the chair opposite of the couch, they’ve been having short conversations for about an hour, though Steve is getting rather tired of his best friend’s unamused attitude.

“So…you kidnapped a girl.” Steve says, breaking the silence.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “I didn’t kidnap her, you can’t kidnap an adult…I just abducted her.”

“Yeah, that’s not better, Buck.” Steve chuckles.

The tap of boots walks past the two men, making them turn and watch Wanda hurriedly make her way to the MedBay. Immediately after she passes, Steve and Bucky share a look.

That had to mean something.

“You think they’re going to force her awake?” Steve asks, face etched with concern and question.

Bucky purses his lips. “They’d be smart to not force her to do anything, I think she might blow the whole building up.”

It’s in the next coming minutes that they are laughing and finally feeling like their old selves then they hear the commotion. Taking off in a run, they both rush to the medical bay.

Tony thought it was going to be smooth. Wanda used her wiggly woo powers (as he calls them) and searched your mind.

“She’s simply asleep…like she’s almost comatose. I think she’s strained herself and her powers are regulating her.” She said, shifting her red strands of power to affect your brain differently. “I can wake her up.”

“Yes! Wake her up.” Tony eagerly states, then moves him and Bruce back a few feet. He’s been doing this super power thing long enough to know that it isn’t always a smooth sail.

Then it happened so fast.

Your heart rate spiked, you stirred slightly. Then, your eyes opened, they were a soft shade of steel blue, almost grey. Your vision clears and your senses came back to you. The ceiling above you didn’t look right, as you looked around, the scene wasn’t familiar.

Your legs and arms were bound.

You struggle, then look to the woman that comes into your vision.

“Hello.” She says softly.

You panic.

More unfamiliar faces come into frame, telling you to calm down and breathe as you thrash in the bed.

Tony watches in concern as you grunt, and when you do speak, a series of red flags raise in his mind.

“Где я?” You shout, trying to flex your hands but they are still covered with Sam’s anti-shock mitt solution. You pant heavily, the blood pressure monitor starts to beep rapidly.

“Okay, this isn’t ideal.” Tony says, watching in horror as Wanda tries to calm you.

They don’t expect for you to break free from the restraints.

“Кто ты?” You look around, shouting.

“Not good!” Bruce agrees, watching as you rip the mitts off your hands.

A surge of blue power gathers at your fingertips, ready to defend yourself. Your head on a swivel, you jump from the bed and try to figure out an escape route while the three strangers in the room all shout for you to stay calm. The woman, red hair, unsure expression, she steps towards you.

“Не подх��ди ко мне!” You cry, seizing your hand forward, admitting a blue light. She barely has time to defend herself before she’s shoved into the nearest wall, knocking countless things over as she goes.

That’s the noise that sends the two super soldiers running.

Bruce quickly dives for a sedative, throwing it to Tony who comes up behind you and jabs the needle into your neck. A scream tears from your throat, you stumble over your feet.

“Tony? What the hell is wrong with you!” Steve shouts as he comes in to see the mess.

Bucky immediately rushes forward and pulls the needle from your neck, trying to steady you as you fall into a drowsy state.

“She isn’t a happy camper when she wakes up.” Tony states, then points to Wanda who stands from the ground and rubs her head. “Look what she did.”

“I’m fine, Tony.” She says, coming back over to where Bucky catches you as you pass out again.

“How long was she awake?” He asks, placing you back on the bed.

“Oh a solid two seconds before she started screaming in Russian.” Tony exaggerates.

“What?” Bucky fumes. “So you tranqed her?”

Bruce comes to make sure you were okay.

“Oh I’m sorry, you just wanted her to kill us all?” Tony shouts.

“Tony, she woke up in a strange place, she’s like a scared puppy.” Steve says before making sure Wanda wasn’t injured.

“We’re calling S.H.E.I.L.D, and I’m telling them that the man the government just pardoned, brought a threat home.” Tony grits, then looks to Doctor Banner. “Let’s wake her up and put her in the empty discussion room, she’ll be fine in there until Fury comes.”

It really isn’t up for discussion. Though he protests, Bucky still does what is asked of him and helps lock you in the empty room. He doesn’t stick around though like the others do, not interested in watching as you wake up and proceed to have yet another panicked melt down.

“Buck.” Steve calls out as Bucky turns from the two way mirror and leaves the room. Sam joins the group in that moment, pausing as Bucky walks off.

“She’s your responsibility now, congratulations.” Bucky dryly says, proceeding to leave the compound all together.

- - - -

You don’t know how long you freak out, but eventually you give up hope and sink into the shadows of the half lit room, keeping to the corner like a scared animal.

Your mind races, not sure where you were or how you ended here. The last thing you remembered was the fight for your life, then a feeling of utter exhaustion as you trudged down an unfamiliar street. Then the next thing you knew, everyone was shouting at you like the words you were saying were sinful.

Your clothes were dirty and wrinkled, you shivered, alone.

Just as you begin to fall asleep, you hear the click of the door open. You curl further into yourself as a tall man enters the room. He gazes into the dark corner. “It looks like you made Tony Stark scared, good job.” He chuckles.

He stops in the middle of the room and folds his hands together. “Why don’t you come on out, I won’t hurt you.”

Slowly, you rise to your feet. Carefully, you come into the light.

“So you do speak English?” He questions, making you nod and not say anything.

“I’m Nick Fury, can you tell me who you are?”

You want to speak, but the fear of being reprimanded is too strong. So you just stare blankly.

He nods. “Alright, how about this.” His hand reaches into his pocket and you jump back, knowing what he could possibly have. But he raises his hands at your reaction. “Hey, it’s nothing to harm you.” He promises, then slowly goes to pull a bar of chocolate out.

“See? Snickers. It’s my favorite. Do you like chocolate?” He asks.

A ghost of a smile appears on your cracked lips. You weren’t allowed to have treats, they were only rewarded when you completed a task successfully.

“I’ll give this to you if you tell me something about yourself. How old are you?”

Your eyes squint, trying to form the answer to that question. Slowly, you answer. “Twenty four…”

No one slaps you for answering in English, so that’s a good sign.

Fury nods in approval, then holds the candy bar out.

Slowly, you approach. Your shaky hand grasps it and pulls it to your chest. Then with a victorious grin, you open it up and take a bite.

It feels good in your mouth, feels warm in your stomach that aches for substance.

“Can you tell me your name?” He asks one more time.

“505.” You answer, occupied by the candy.

Fury’s eyebrows draw together. “Your real name. What’s your real name?”

You shrug. “Don’t remember.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

Your head snaps to him, eyes wide.

You go silent again.

Though, you don’t fight any of it. You willingly walk with Fury, you leave the compound with no fight. Tony lets out a sigh once you were gone.

“Well, crisis averted.” He says.

“I really don’t think she was a spy.” Steve says, silently criticizing the man for how stuck up he’s being.

And after everyone goes back to their living quarters, Steve calls Bucky.

Bucky watches the phone ring, stares at it until the screen goes black.

And that’s how things are left.

File 3

[honey-minded-hivemind]

We’ve seen yans adopt reader, but what if reader takes initiative in getting themselves adopted?

Universal Cat Distribution System style.

(I envision this w/a reader who’s more of an animal/feral type mutant but this works with neutral readers too)

Seeing the heroes on TV or even in person whether witnessing an emergency or being actively saved, reader is probably in awe that mutants can be so cool and well loved (by each other at least, people in universe seem to hate them for some reason). They probably get in in their head “oh these guys could love me” and reader is right!

Reader, outside in the rain: hi I’m here to be adopted

Logan, who thought they were the delivery person but isn’t going to turn them away: what are your qualifications?

Reader: well for starters I bite-

Logan ‘I adopt rabid children’ Howlett: say less

n e ways, I love the “Hi, you’re my parent now” trope, especially when pets just decide your house is now theirs. love your content!!

Ahaha! I love it! This is how my cat was adopted! She was so loving and sweet and was a stray kitten we were feeding, and she would comfort we when I cried outside, so when it was raining and cold one day, I was told I could take them inside- so I did! And she is now my sweet bby princess kitty!

Yes, Logan would adopt any Reader who looked sad and pitiful and was partially feral or animalistic. He adopts any teen who needs help, he will fight anything or anyone for them, and will show them to Charles and be like "here's another X-Men, Chuck, now let's feed them and get them a bath-" and no one can say no, because they also fell in love with this teen who has slitted eyes and looks like soggy wet kitten and is fluffy too.

Reader, trying to get adopted: I was bullied for three years of elementary school, I have religious and emotional trauma, I once was emotionally and mentally abused/manipulated by an adult, I am probably queer and/or gender-noncomforming, and I like fluffy jackets and don't have a dad or possibly a mom or any parent at all, or at least not any good ones-

Logan: You're adopted

Reader: Oh, what decided it?

Logan: When I first saw you, but I wasn't leaving you after you mentioned the manipulative adult and the trauma, so, you're our kid now

Reader: All I need is two meals a day, a bath every other day, and somewhere to sleep!

Logan: ... You're getting more than that

Charles: Yes! A new child and X-Men! Welcome, my dear, what is your gift? 😊

Storm: Yes! A friend for my Evan and dearest Kurt and Kitty and Jean and Scott and Rogue! We shall feed you, and shall guide you!

Hank: We can finally give you a check-up! We've been watching you for quite some time now-

Logan, tackling Hank and slapping a hand over his mouth: That is not important! What matters is you're here! Now, let's get inside! We should introduce ourselves...

Reader, oblivious: 🥰💕💛

[multishipper001]

I don't see much discourse about Study Group, although it's an absolute masterpiece, so let's put some content out here!

1.) The characters

Oh my babies. Hats off to the author, because he really can make a diverse set of people! Each character has a fleshed out backstory, defined goals and ideals (that are shown to clash with others, be it enemies or allies).

They're all very-human like in some way, with just enough cliché to make it enjoyable but not predictable.

(spoiler for chapter 252-253: I didn't know what choices Gamin and especially Geonyeob would make until the very last moment. Geonyeob had two choices ahead of him, and it heavily determined his future and showed a glimpse of what kind of person he is, how far he's willing to go for revenge... It surprised me, but boy was it an interesting chapter!)

You can't help but root for each and every one of them, prepare to get emotionally attached to them all!!

2.) The plot

This part deserves its own category.

The synopsis tells the base of the story. A high school boy that forms a study group, with the goal to enter university.

Easy, right? Simple goal, one that can be achieved if you study hard, right?

THINK AGAIN

First of all, and this is not a spoiler, our mc SUCKS ASS at studying. Like I'm not the best at studying either but he's on a whole new level. He puts time into it, is dedicated, tries his hardest... And still can't.

(I read theories that he may have a disability that affects his studying, like dyslexia or something, and it's very much possible!)

He's in an environment where people don't expect him to study since he's bad anyway, and actively try and sabotage his every attempt to get better grades & enter uni.

(Sounds cliche and weird but it makes sense if you learn about the plot later)

Every new character comes into the plot because of the study group he forms —directly or not directly, but they get in contact with the study group in a way later on.

And you know what's good about it?

The main character DOESN'T CHANGE.

He's not going "I'm powerful and cool now, so I'll choose the easy way out/focus on fighting instead/aim lower/etc," NO.

He's had a goal since day 1, and he's clinging to it like a fucking LIFE LINE.

There are arcs ofc, but the main goal is set, and the characters are slowly marching forward, doing their best to reach it.

3.) Realism

One more great thing? NO CLICHÉS

I'm taking about the story here.

There's NO "the power of friendship saves the day", no "the evil villain gets defeated simply because he's the evil villain", no "mc gets what he wants easily because he's the main character".

(and no "every girl falls for mc and he builds a harem around himself bc he's the mc". There's barely any romance in it, and it's not forced or unrealistic)

There are forces in front of the main character which affect his story, yet he cannot fight them because he's still a child, or a student, or a part of a system that is made to oppress him. Corruption, manipulation, crimes... It's realistic in the best way, with no easy way out.

There are highs and lows for our characters, and for a few moments, after a cool fight where they won, you might fall into the mistake of thinking about this story like any other : "oh, they're going to win after all! They're the main characters, they'll make it! "

... Just for the issues of the plot to slap the naive thought out of your head not even a chapter later.

Corruption is rooted deep, and this story portrays it beautifully : how getting rid of one, two or several causes won't make it all disappear.

To what extent people can be controlled by money and power.

How the powerful uses the weak, how the wealthy use those below them for their own benefit.

How adults would rather destroy children's futures and lives just to squeeze a few penny out of them and get rich from their misery.

The main character is idealistic in a corrupted world, refusing to give up on what he thinks is right —where most people around him choose the easy way out and give up their beliefs, their present and future for quick cash, for promises of wealth and power.

He is their mirror, their proof that you can stay true to yourself and fight through your misery, even if it's hard, even if it seems absolutely hopeless.

There are many arcs, and each show different approaches to this, but this is the core essence of the story. That you can choose the easy road, but you don't have to. You can fight for your goals even if everyone says you'll fail.

And so many people can't see past the fight scenes and the "action manhwa" tag, thinking that if the story doesn't show them some peak badass mc-gets-what-he-wants-through-fighting moment, the whole thing is trash.

Yes, this is an action manhwa, with fights. But it isn't about fighting.

And lastly, honorable mentions to this gem:

4.) Portrayal of stereotypes

Best parts coming up!!

As usual, every story has stereotypes portrayed in them.

How men are stronger than women, how gangsters act or rich kids behave. How bullies and nerds interact.

They don't gloss over these stereotypes.

Women are physically smaller and weaker. Rich kids are assholes, bullies are cruel and victims are weak.

They don't make them magically gain courage, change their behaviour overnight OR make these things seem cool.

They make changes.

Step by step, they are influenced by each other (not just the mc, but other characters as well: they exist even when the mc isn't present). They're weak, and powerless, but they learn to be brave. They find a way to fight : maybe they don't become martial artists overnight, but each one of them develops their own method to survive in their fucked up life.

If they need to study better, they ask their friends and teacher for help. If they need to fight, they do so for the sake of protecting themselves and what is important to them : family, friends, a cause.

None of them are made as a gear to move the plot forward, they're their own characters. And they have clichés. They have stereotypical behaviours, and maybe even look stereotypical. But even so, they're not making it their only personality trait : they're complex, and flawed, and make mistakes.

And it's beautiful.

Oh god I love this story dearly.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Keepsafes

Fandom: Batman, DC Comics

Summary: AU where Martha and Thomas survive, and they adopt the batkids.

Chapters: 6/?

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Harvey Dent, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, David Cain, Talia al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake

Relationships: Thomas Wayne/Martha Wayne/Alfred Pennyworth, BruHarvey, BruTalia

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Hurt/Comfort, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, Angst, Alfred Pennyworth Knows All, Bruce Wayne Only Has One Child, Bruce Wayne is Not An Only Child, Bi Bruce Wayne, Unsafe for Work

Chapter Six: Lyon

“Brucie, wait with Alfred for a moment. I want to talk to Isaiah about setting up your next appointment,” Thomas whispered. Bruce hesitated, and Thomas smiled at him. “I won’t be long. I got a table for the four of us tonight at Pasquini’s. I can’t get enough of that pesto stuff.” Bruce smiled as he let Thomas go. 

Thomas took a deep breath once they entered the French doors and walked down the hall to Isaiah’s larger office. “Is everything okay? Is Bruce okay?” Thomas asked. 

“I want to start out by saying, Bruce is highly intelligent. He’s observant… Strategic, but not manipulative which is surprising for a child his age—.” 

“What do you mean?” Thomas interrupted.

“Bruce uses strategy to figure out whether or not people are trustworthy before opening up. He doesn’t try to manipulate a situation to get a desired outcome… He uses strategy as a means to assess threats. He was tense the entire time, never really relaxing… But given the trauma of the shooting, I can understand that. He’s in constant fight-or-flight mode… 

“But I picked up on other things. Bruce’s laser focus on the game as we played it… No matter how serious our subjects of conversation, he never forgot about the game. He insisted on playing it all the way through to the end… And about Alfred… He’s an important fixture in your family… Am I correct in that assumption?” Isaiah asked. 

Thomas nodded. “Alfred’s family. He’s been with me most of my adult life, and Bruce has known him his entire life,” Thomas replied.

“That’s good… It seems like Bruce is very emotionally attached to him. And I’ll tell you right now, Gotham Academy has nothing to worry about with Bruce. He’s not malicious… He’s got a strong sense of right and wrong, and he feels that although his actions were justified, he laments over being driven to violence,” Isaiah replied, “I think he’ll need long-term care to address the events of the shooting, but I think he finds a lot of comfort in his home life. He kept driving home that he felt safest when he was with you, Martha, and Alfred… How are you adjusting by the way?”

“Um… I’m doing a lot better. I was struggling with having to depend on Alfred and Martha to help me with things that I was so used to doing on my own… But now, I’m much more independent… I just—. It isn’t walking that I miss as much as the other things,” Thomas whispered. 

“Sex?” Isaiah asked. Thomas blew out a breath. 

“Yeah… I mean, we’re older and we were starting to slow down a little, but—. But we still liked to do—. We liked to set time aside to be intimate and warm toward each other, but I’m so worried that we’ll try something and it won’t… arouse me,” Thomas whispered, “And I hate that I can’t show that interest and love like I used to.”

Isaiah frowned and nodded. “You know, I’ll tell you something man-to-man. My wife and I struggled at first. I was ignorant of what it would be like to be with her. We had to adjust to each other… But it doesn’t have to be homework. It’s fun figuring out how to make up for the differences in a person’s body. 

“For Maya and me, that meant incorporating mirrors and signs in our sex lives. For you, that might mean trying to find other ways to get stimulated sexually. Have a sense of humor about it. If something isn’t working, be patient with yourself. Maya used to tease me about mixing up signs or getting flustered at seeing my reflection. 

“I’d say to try a little something this week if you can. Just ask Martha to do something different… Or switch roles. See how that works,” Isaiah replied. 

Thomas’ cheeks went rosy as he let things sink in. “Thank you,” Thomas whispered. Isaiah nodded.

“I’ll contact the school, and they’ll probably let him return on Monday or Tuesday to make sure he’s had enough time to move on from what happened,” Isaiah reassured him as he changed subjects. Thomas smiled back and nodded. 

**

That night after Bruce fell asleep, Thomas took Isaiah up on his advice. He entered the bedroom in his robe and took a deep breath. “We don’t have to tonight if you don’t—.” 

“Of course, I want to, but you mustn’t speak so loudly. What if Master Bruce should hear you?” Alfred whispered. 

Thomas offered a sheepish smile as Alfred leaned forward and kissed him. Their lips found each other, gently touching as they parted, and Alfred pulled away for a moment. “Martha?” Alfred asked. 

“She said she’d sleep in Bruce’s room tonight to look after him. I think she’s too tired tonight anyway,” Thomas frowned, “I understand if you don’t think it’s a good idea… I just—. I’m tired of being afraid that I’m not enough.” 

“You’ve always been enough, Thomas,” Alfred smiled as he stole another kiss from Thomas. 

“Have you and Martha—? I just—. I feel guilty because I haven’t really been able to, so I—.” 

“A few times… Not often,” Alfred answered, “Would you like to hear about it?” 

Thomas smiled and shook his head as he transferred from his chair to Alfred’s bed. Alfred climbed into bed beside him. He used to ask about every little detail when Alfred and Martha were together out of a macho sense of competition, but he’d matured in the past few years. “I’d like to talk about Lyon in nineteen-seventy-one. Do you remember?” Thomas asked as Alfred untied Thomas’ robe, exposing his nakedness under the dim lights. Alfred kissed his neck and chest, rubbing Thomas’ freshly shaved chest. 

“It was a lovely day. Sunny, but not too hot. I recall you feigning drunkenness after one glass of wine, so I could escort you back to your room. I was halfway through unbuttoning your shirt before I noticed,” Alfred trailed off as he kissed his chest. Thomas reached for Alfred’s cheek, only for Alfred to pin his hands above his head. “You were insatiable, Master Thomas.” 

Thomas closed his eyes, listening to the gentle smack of Alfred’s lips against his bare chest between graphically erotic descriptions of what his body looked like in the hotel during daylight hours. “The beads of sweat forming on your suntanned thighs… How could I forget the way you begged me to expose your nakedness as I have now?” Alfred whispered. “Would you like me to remind you what you sounded like?” 

“Mm… Mhm,” Thomas nodded. 

“ Alfred… You can have me if you—. ” 

Thomas chuckled. “I did not sound like that,” Thomas replied. 

“Your hand guiding mine to your shorts. So desperate… Engorged and throbbing. Your face was a portrait of agony and lust… How long had you desired me in silence? In secret? How long—?” 

“Alfred,” Thomas panted with his eyes shut, “Alfred, I’m ready.” 

Alfred let go of Thomas’ hand and looked down at his hardon. Thomas reached for it, trying to control the throbbing, and drooling of his cock. “Master Thomas,” Alfred whispered as he touched himself through his pajama pants. Thomas groaned as he listened to Alfred moaning quietly, his voice sounding much softer than he was used to. “You haven’t answered my question. How long?” 

“Alfred, I’ve wanted you every day since we met… I would’ve cum even if you hadn’t touched me that day… Oh, Alfred,” Thomas moaned as Alfred fingered him. “Alfred, don’t stop. Please don’t stop talking.” 

“The way it felt when you were inside of me, Master Thomas. The way you moaned my name that day. How you trembled as you came inside of me,” Alfred whispered. 

“Alfred, hurry,” Thomas whispered. Alfred nodded as he pulled his pajama pants down to his knees as he slid into Thomas. Thomas gasped. 

“Are you about to cum?” Alfred questioned as he sped up his thrusts. “How does it feel, Thomas?”

“Alfred, please… I love you. I’m sorry, but I’m about to—. I wanted to—.”

“Thomas, do shut up and cum for me, darling,” Alfred grunted as he kissed Thomas’ neck. Thomas shuddered underneath him as he came. Alfred stroked Thomas until Thomas grabbed his wrist. Alfred offered a satisfied smile as he kissed Thomas’ cheek and rolled over to finish himself off. 

“Alfred… Alfred?” Thomas whispered as he wiped himself off. Alfred turned his head to face Thomas. “I love you.” 

“And I love you, Thomas… Would you like me to hold you tonight?” Alfred questioned. Thomas nodded as he stared at the ceiling. “Are you alright?” 

“I don’t know why I’m still so nervous… Alfred, I’m—.” 

Alfred wiped off and rolled onto his side. “I love to look at you from that angle… You make a face… It’s quite beautiful,” Alfred replied as he tried to mimic Thomas’ expression. Thomas laughed as Alfred pulled his pants up and climbed out of bed over him. “You worry too much, my love. I’ll fetch your pants from my drawer. It’s far too cold to sleep nude in the house at this hour.”

[furiousgoldfish]

If you've found yourself in that childhood hell with a narcissistic parent, where every year you gain you get treated worse, and the older you get, the more unworthy and unlovable you are, this is why it's going on.

Narcissists are unwilling to be parents, but they're ready to take advantage of every possible benefit they think parenthood has. The perceived benefit is how the world sees them, someone feeling sympathetic or engaged with them, getting popularity based on your kid's talents, abilities and successes, people having compassion for their 'parenthood struggles', and of course, the idea of unconditional love. For them, not for the kid. They also then go on and take extra stuff, like having their personal emotional caretaker, or a target for all of their anger, someone to feel superior to, someone they can violate, insult, touch, beat, and blend with, without any kind of consequences from the outside world. There's very few scenarios that would allow them such power over another person, and parenthood happens to be one of them.

So, why do they prefer small toddlers rather than grown-up children? Because toddlers gain them attention. They can go with a toddler in public, and have people gush and admire the cuteness. They can sometimes teach toddlers to do little dances or sing for the audience. They can do pretty much anything to small children, and children won't complain or understand what is going on. They can neglect their toddlers and nobody will know. They can punish small children for crying. They can convince small children that they exist only for to make the narcissist's life easier.

Once children start developing boundaries, start saying no, and no longer gather the attention of the crowd, that is where narcissists are no longer getting as many benefits from parenthood and start emotionally abandoning the child, and shaming the child for 'growing up' and 'not being as easy to control and manipulate'. And this is not how normally things work, you don't stop loving your kid when they're growing up, you don't value them according to how much attention you can get using them. Sometimes, if a kid has a special talent and is able to get them attention via child contests or tournaments, this kid will not be obviously immediately abandoned. But it will be clear to this child that the 'love' is completely dependent on how well they do and how far they succeed. The second they stop, they know that the parental love will be withdrawn and they'll be rendered a failure.

Narcissists will ask you to go not just out of your comfort zone in order to give them what they want, they will ask the downright impossible, and when you inevitably can't give it to them, you will be discarded, and possibly punished. You will degraded from 'special' and 'important because you can do this one thing for your parent', to nothing but a target for rage, forced to feel like you deserve it because you couldn't do what no child can - make a narcissist act like a normal parent. They convince children that they would be loving and thoughtful parents, if only the child was not so x, and y, and z, and the list is endless. Endless excuses not to love their child, because withdrawing that love will make the child absolutely desperate in their attempt to please the parent, and be good enough to deserve love.

This is not what would normally happen to a child. We're meant to be celebrated for growth. Our progress into adulthood should be about us, about what we can do now, how much new experiences and excitement it brings to have a bigger body, how much more capable and safer we are, what new skills we can develop, new games we can play, better connections and understanding with others we can now achieve. It's not supposed to be about whether we are of a benefit to someone, our growth is about us becoming a happy adult! Appropriating this entire process and reducing it to 'grovel endless to deserve love, and feel guilty for growing because you're of less use now' is absolute torture to a child, who doesn't understand that it's not meant to be this way, that they were never supposed to be a tool to use.

As we mature with the narcissist continually building this narrative of us not being good enough to deserve love, we end up having no other narrative, and believe that we're fundamentally, intrinsically lacking in something, and this makes us unlovable. It has nothing to do with the truth, and everything to do with a continuous lie that someone made up about us when we were still small, that we exist as a tool and a resource, and every hint of free will and desire and personal goals and boundaries is us failing to live up to that use. We were never meant to be exist for them, there was no achievable goal, us even trying to 'deserve their love' was nothing but a waste of our time and energy. We're not unlovable. We just don't a parent. We had someone leeching off of us, taking instead of giving, convincing us we don't deserve attention, care or resources, unlike them, who deserve to take it all.

For any normal parent, everything about you would have been good enough, you would have been a source of joy and celebration without ever even trying to deserve it. Nobody has to deserve parental love, it's either given by default, or there is nobody willing to be a parent to you. Being unwilling to parent you, they have no right to expect anything from you. You did not break the parent-child bond, because there never was such a thing in the first place, they betrayed you from the start.