zith-ipeth

[zith-ipeth]

Tell us about your platonic partner!! (If you want, obviously no pressure)

OMG YES! I love her a lot she’s a butch trans girl I’ve been best friends with for about my entire life, she is the reason I was never bullied (she’s been the biggest strongest kid in our school since she was like 6) she’s Catholic kinda, like, she def believes in god, but also said the banger line

“God created wheat and not bread, grapes and not wine, we are active members in the divine act of creation”

She meant this about trans people

I love her, so much, she’s so so so so pretty

[zith-ipeth]

i miss you my star bound girl

[zith-ipeth]

How many headmates do you have (that you’re willing to discuss)? I feel like I’ve seen four names but that you’ve only talked about yourself and two others. No pressure to answer, ofc

- Reina

Hello Reina great ask!

There are 2.5 people in here!

Zith Ipeth (myself, this is a screen name I don’t love my real name being public online)

Clover Brooks / Poppy Brown (clover was a screen name and then I realized there is, litterally no reason to do that so I started using her actual name)

Margot (I say she’s like half a headmate, rescuer last resort type, she’s fronted, like 2 times, and often makes snide comments or critiques, love that bitch.)

The name I use for us is A Mutual Orbit (AMO), this is because in therapy I had this big breakthrough and realized Poppy and I are equally important and equally people, our orbit is balanced, thus, the name

You might have seen some other names thrown around, namely Poppy’s other mom Lucy, she is a person who is not a headmate who has nurtured and raised and mothered poppy for as long as I have, she is one of the most important people in my life, and the person I trust most with my daughter

Hope this clears stuff up! And thank you for asking!

[zith-ipeth]

Hey Zith! Is your kid going to be sharing your blog, are they making thier own, or both/neither?

Prolly not I’m a gay freak on tumblr and unless you can have like two feeds prolly not, she might hop on sometimes

[zith-ipeth]

Friendly reminder that asks are always open and I’m a very open book :)

[zith-ipeth]

Dog Days Diary 1.4: Doghood, Puppyhood, and Plurality

Hey everymany

Recently I’ve started acting in the best interest of my daughter, my headmate, the light of my life.

Giving up things I enjoy for the betterment of someone I love is hard, but worth it, giving up “adult” behaviors (intimacy and shit) has been a long time coming, but I’ve been getting closer to her and it’s so lovely. Making sure she always has the option to pop in and say hi, that she doesn’t have to see the body be treated in confusing and scary ways, it’s, been good.

Something in me is designed to take care of others, it might be the motherhood kicking in, but holding, cradling and telling someone it’s ok is, my greatest joy.

Im sad i can never really cradle my daughter, but, it’s ok. She’s a strong girl, raised by wolves

All that aside stuff has been great, work is hard but social and rewarding, I got to lay in bed and fall asleep with my platonic partner last night, we howled at the moon (I howled she squatted next to me like some kinda oversized bug animal <3)

Living true is the best thing you can do, so please, go do it, you won’t regret it.

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[zith-ipeth]

Hey gang!

There might not be an update tonight Poppy (my daughter) has a playdate with a friend, so she’s gonna be busy

[zith-ipeth]

HI TEAM!

Tumblr marked my most recent post, Dog Days Diary 1.3: Gianthood and Fatness as NSFW MATURE CONTENT

ITS FUCKING NOT, it’s me celebrating my body and identity and talking about struggles I’ve experienced

If you arnt aware, Tumblr fucking hates trans women, fat people and FUCKING ESPECIALLY FAT TRANS WOMEN.

Tumblr also hates people who gain w3!ght intentionally and talk about that experience, most of my thoughts on this involve big conversations about kink and politics which I won’t go into but, imma say it for the mods in the back

FUCK YOU TUMBLR I LOVE MY FAT TRANS BODY

[zith-ipeth]

Dog Days Diary 1.3: Gianthood And Fatness

Hi ho hibernators

I wanna talk about something that's been floating in my head for, like, a long while now, but has always been difficult to approach for me, but after a big conversation with a friend last night, I'm gonna talk about it

I think that fatness and gianthood exist as similar states of being

For reference on my experience im a kinda fat lady who has intentionally been gaining weight for like, a couple years now, partially as recovery from a restrictive ED, partly because my body just feels better when its larger. For me, it is not rooted in kink, but I will throw paws with anyone who has issues with people who do engage in intentional weight gain as part of kink, those bitches are my friends

For reference, I identify myself, from a somewhat otherkin lens, as a giant. I should be ten feet tall, I have really bad height dysphoria about it, and it's an important aspect of my identity. I experience some giant experiences, I'm tall for a woman and built out a bit more due to being trans, so among other women specifically, i do stand out in a giantish way.

To me, tropes that fit into gianthood also fit into my kinda new experiences with being fat. And it's difficult to deal with. People feel uncomfortable sharing a space, either providing far too much room or not nearly enough. People don't know how to act, or what is and isn't ok to say. One that got to me recently after looking at a couple of comics accidentally breaking things and people not knowing how to act about it. I’ve had a lot of very giant, very fat experiences of breaking things, which, on its own, is a neutral experience; objects can be replaced, the issue with breaking things due to size, is that people don't know how to act. Personally, I've seen it done two ways, one where the person clearly doesn't want to address what happened, where the awkwardness you experience from breaking something just festers, where you stay feeling shitty and guilty. The other option is people overly clarifying its ok, constantly reminding you of what you did.

I've been experiencing all this a lot, for me, gaining weight has given me this approximation towards gianthood, and it has given me all the downsides along with it. Giant or fat I'm met with so many ways society dislikes my body. Giant or fat, I'm seen as a monster. Giant or fat, people avoid getting close to me

Last night, in classic fashion for the kinds of conversations I had with a friend of mine, I talked to purr about all of this, and was quite upset, upset that my future will be one where I love my body but the world hates it. And purr, started saying some stuff which I'm gonna copy down here and, idk, maybe the one person who feels how I feel about all this will see this and cry who knows 

“When you're a giant it means I can't hug all of you at once, when you're fat I can't hug all of you at once but I try”

Giant or fat my body is pretty

“When you're a fat giant you provide the best deep pressure”

I could be used as a bed, giant or fat

“You're really pretty giant or fat. And you can pick us up.”

Giant or fat you’d swim in our clothes

“Giant or fat your big spoon is the biggest”

Giant or fat I’m allowed to be loved

“Giant or fat you deserve to be loved”

Giant or fat my body is the best stim toy

“Giant or fat I'm going to make enough so you can eat your fill”

Giant or fat I won’t feel bad about it!

“Giant and fat you're amazing friend”

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[zith-ipeth]

Dog Days Diary 1.2: So what has been going on

Hello everypony

I’ve been gone for a while so I’m gonna share some life updates starting with

PEOPLE STUFF

I started a job as an assistant at a chiropractors office, it pays well, has enough socializing for me and is close to home. A friend of mine is buying a house and we might move into it! Rent would be stupid cheap (like 400 a month) meaning I could move out as soon as we sort out a car! I’ve been meeting new friends, strengthening relationships with old ones, it’s been nice

DOG STUFF

I’ve been wearing my tag all the time to work, it makes me feel nice, the head doctor called me a “good dog” and patted me on the head when I sat on the floor. We’ve been dog sitting a lot so I’ve been getting loads of good dog friends time

PLURAL STUFF

I’m a mom! Kinda, my headmate/kiddo/daughter/light of my life has been around for a while now, and I recently realized that nameless kinda role I’ve been to her, was, mother. I talked to her other mom about this, and we’re kinda co parenting her now. Which is, nice! Also we’re talking about trying to use hypnotherapy to create positive triggers for her

Anyway, today was slow so I figured a life update would be better than the recap of “I slept late, work was really busy”

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[zith-ipeth]

i remember having a conversation with you last year . a lot has happened and i’m doing a lot better , i think about you occasionally and i hope you’re doing well

I’m doing well, I hope you’re working on kindness, and, I hope you’re well too!

[zith-ipeth]

A bitch, a mutt, a fag, a freak.

//Some sort of manifesto//

I AM NOT FULLY HUMAN

As a fag, as a woman, I have never been fully a human in the eyes of society, I have been put with the dogs since I came out. I’ve been anxious, scared of strangers, scared of crashes and bangs, I’ve wanted to chase rodents and play fight since I figured out I was a bitch. I have always been good with animals, I’ve always been snuggly and loved biting and chewing, I sit on my legs, my paws between my haunches, looking for love in the form of a hand on my head.

MY GENDER IS BITCH

If gender isn't binary, then what is it? Is it based on masculinity and femininity? Two variables, maybe three? Or is it a disconnected eclectic collection of ideas and colors, smells, tastes, constructs, temperatures, and clothes. My gender is bared teeth, its fur and paws and ears and a tail. My gender is bitch. Unlike my female cis species canid friends, I was born spayed, I was born revoked of my fertility as a trans woman. Like my male cis species friends, I was neutered, my masculinity cut off, for me by choice, for them by a made up necessity.

WHEN BITCHES BITE THEY GET PUT DOWN

Quiet women rarely make history, but loud women get put down. Violent women get told that they arn’t making change. We get told that our violence cannot make change, that the bricks thrown at cops won't teach future generations, that fighting back, biting hands and clawing eyes gets you nowhere. We are told that we should just lay down and take it, try to debate the feral beasts that put us in a kennel, debate the wire around our neck, debate the leash and debate the shock collar. When bitches bite they get put down, when dogs are violent they get killed, when they rip and tear at that which scares them they get trained, they get their brains hijacked with pavlovian responses and in the worst possible cases, they get left on the street or killed under hospital lights.

HOW DO WE LIVE IN A TRANS SPECIES SOCIETY?

I want to be loved the way a dog is loved. I want to be a being of comfort, I want to be pet for the sake of mutual comfort. I want a relaxation around being touched, I want to see a confirmation before a hand hits my back. I want to smell you before I get to say hi, I want to taste the world with a flicking tongue. I want to move freely, run fast, bite hard, and bark loudly. People often ask how do you treat a dog like me, one that can speak. Simply put, the way you should treat the dogs who can't. The way you treat a dog socially with the ability to vocalize your non vocal communications. With consent and boundaries and love, clarification and admiration. I want not only to comfort but defend, I want to bare my fangs in a way that scares people, dress in markings that make people worried, that make people scared that someone so small can still rip their lungs out.

AM I WASTING MY VOICE, BARKING TO AN EMPTY AUDIENCE?

My mother disdains my animality, she sees it’s a joke, a plea for attention. She thinks that my voice, my ability to socialize, would be best used to help advocate for the trans community. She thinks that my doghood will take away the seriousness of my voice. I argue the opposite. If I can constantly push the edge of queerness, push the edge of comfort, maybe I can be taken seriously while fighting as hard as I do. I will fight for a future where we all can live true to the change we make for ourselves. I will be a blinding light, a beacon for those who wish to find someone who will love them, and a distraction to take the violent eyes of the patriarchy off of my friends who are still learning to defend against its ceaseless gaze.

RUN FAST

If we don't move forward constantly, then we will be moving backwards as capitalism, imperialism, and the patriarchy march forward. We must run fast to keep up, and faster to outpace it. I want to feel the paws in my mind pound against the dirt, my tongue hanging out, breathing in and out, in and out. I want to hold a banner in my jaws, wood splintering into my gums as I try harder and harder every day to be just ahead of the curve. If I can be ahead just far enough that people see something other than the onward march of death and oppression, if they can see a tragically out of shape dog panting and whining, trying her best, maybe they will try too.

BITE HARD

I’m pro violence, I believe that bleeding bite marks and broken skin signify my strength. I was scared of my teeth for so long, scared that they made me a threat, but as it turns out these fangs can be gentle. They can try to hold an ice cube as I drop it on the carpet, but they too can rip through meat and bone like a feral animal. Fight back, always, always bite the hand that feeds you poison, always tear apart the skin of your oppressors.

BARK LOUD

I get on my friends about apologizing, women apologize too often. They apologize for taking up space socially and physically, they apologize for being to loud, and I tell them to take it back. You must be loud, you must scream truths until your throat hurts and you can't even muster a growl. I speak loudly in volume, but I speak loudly socially as well, I speak often and loud and aggressively. I want my every word to be seen as a threat, I don't care if people are scared when I bark, because it’s on them to learn that's how I proclaim myself in space.

WHO I AM, SHOULD I BE SO BRAVE

I am a bitch, I am a mutt, I am a combination of humanity and animality. I am thousands of years of coevolution. I am a companion, I am a beast who owns herself. I am a fag and a dyke, i’m a freak of nature, baring my teeth as a greeting and a threat, if this bothers you than I invite you to taste my saliva as my fangs rip your face off.

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[zith-ipeth]

Therianthropy and the future

What does this look like in the future? The first step, in all good revolutionary world building, is the ability to envision a future. If you cannot imagine what a future looks like without prisons, without police, without capital, without states and without borders, how do you intend to ever see that world come to life? Someone asked what therianthropy looks like in the future on a forum I was on, and most critters said that it looks like it always has, it looks like something you hide away, something you don’t tell anyone, something you don’t explain. You don’t “come out” as therian because we live in a world where you cannot

6 months ago, I told my friends I was an animal, I had yet to identify it as therianthropy, simply rather that I am a dog, that I wear ears where my ears should be and a tail where my tail should be. By “coming out” I committed the taboo, I let people in. Since then I wore my gear (ears tail gloves and a collar) through the rest of my highschool life, I had a 3.25 gpa, I got pets from my friends on occasions and walked off stage with a diploma. One of my peers, not even a friend, said genuinely she thought I would wear white ears “to match your dress, of course, like a snow fox of some sort”. I had been understood as someone who has ears, who has a tail, it was simply part of who I was. 

I’m two weeks into college, I’ve been presenting and explaining myself as an animal pretty much always when asked, I talked to my anthropology professor and he suggested a feminist cultural anthropologist manifesto about the personhood of dogs, I’ve howled with friends at the night sky in the humid air that comes with the end of summer. It is understood that I am a dog, that I am a therian. To be honest classes are kicking me in the tail end, the food is weird, I’m breaking out for the first time in a long while.

Now I’m privileged, my animality doesn’t come in waves, I exist in a more constant state, without shifts and the like, I can control my vocal stims, I’m quite social and generally likable, I’m white, middle class, pretty. I’m trans but mostly binary, I have minimal species dysphoria, and what I do have can be alleviated by means available to me. I’m a dog, one of the most easy to explain theriotypes there is, but…

I did it! I’m living in the future, I’m living in the world that so many therians said could not happen, I’m barking, snarling growling proof that we CAN have a future, that maybe just maybe we can jam our paw in the door and let the zoo full of animals I call my friends through. Maybe if people can adjust to a dog then they can get used to a cat, a snake, a leopard, a fish, a bird, a dragon, whatever else! Maybe the way that I am lucky enough to live won’t be something we can all have in our lives, but maybe, just maybe, if we can show our pups and kits that this is a life they can demand, maybe they will get to have it too.

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[zith-ipeth]

Dogs Day Diary 1.1: Where I’ve Been

Today I met a therian at work, my eyes caught a silver bear claw necklace and I think their eyes caught my dog tag. They’re just a kid who’s mom was in for a doctors appointment, but I asked them about the necklace and a few words later we both figured out the other was an animal

Kids don’t get to see adult therians that often, especially not out in the world living everyday lives, talking to them made me realize that again

A while ago I started this blog because i wanted to show therians of all ages that we can have a future; a normal, mundane, animalistic future

I will be updating every day from now on

I want to show you all the messy world I’ve made for myself

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[zith-ipeth]

I don’t know why I don’t update more, I think I just havnt been in a mood for it

I’m visiting a really good friend on the 20th, and I’ll be there for 5 days, I’ll prolly post big fancy updates on all of those days tbh

It’ll be nice

[zith-ipeth]

Dog Days Diary: The passengers of a dark blue 2006 Honda Civic

Hey freaks of nature

Todays gonna be a weird one, and a mostly plural one

Therapy these past few months has been spent trying to figure out communicating between me and my part(s), it’s been hard fought but recently I had a breakthrough of sorts…

A bit of backstory

I drive, like a lot, it’s a calming activity for me, brings me alot of joy, and peace. I find that when I’m driving my brain wanders, I can’t be distracted because I have to focus on the road, but it lets me think freely. For a while I tried to use headspace as a way to communicate with my alters, which, didn’t work really, I’d get snippets and it caused a lot of headaches. But recently I’ve been using projection, and it all clicked a few nights ago

Clover, the kid, was sitting in the passenger seat, and Margot, I think the other adult, was in the back right seat. We talked while driving for a bit, until I pulled into a church parking lot and we just, talked

Like casual conversation talked

It was amazing, and magical and I learned a lot

I think Margot might be a bird? She didn’t confirm this but she kinda looks like one, which is odd, I learned she would want to be a professor, that Clover wants to grow up to be like me.

We just talked for like an hour

If I could, somehow in the future, have them stay projected at all times, then we could talk, like real talk, and I wouldn’t have to worry anymore

During those moments, my head was clear of a static I didn’t know was there.

I think I’m gonna keep trying. Leave early for work today drive around a little, try and talk some more.

I think we’re gonna be ok…

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

//Clover Brooks//

[zith-ipeth]

Shout out to those of you out there suffering from size dysphoria. I know you exist. There's very little people like us can do about it except carry the burden and collect little things that make us feel right.

Get your giant novelties and macro photography. Paint those miniatures and build yourself dollhouses. I'm here for you!

Those who yearn to touch the clouds and those who long to run with ants must stick together.