#that isnt him being hypersexualized

[massiveladycat]

guys please please please venti is so endgame material its not even funny. he's nonchalant and carefree but also the most mysterious and literally imagine how poetic it would be; to end the game with your first ever archon by your side (or against you) lIKE PELASEP LEPALSE PELELSPSSLEE

[boinky-spoinky]

They are even excusing it as “coping mechanism” when we all know damn well that aint helping that disgusting shit aint helping, i know victims of abuse copes differently, i am the victim of those things but drawing the smiling critters in horrific or even horrible traumatic non consensual actions is not the right way of moving on, there are better ways to help you, believe me drawing smiling critters, hell even children in non consensual actions is not the right way to help you. If your the victim of these tragedies, I understand you and excusing it as hypersexuality isnt an excuse either, so if you know @ Pachi_rizuu, block him and report and if he ever sees thing, im sorry what you went through, no human being ever deserves to be in that situation, but coping hy drawing cp isn’t helping..

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

ppl keep talking abt the lunch scene, and for that matter the cattons behaviour in general, as if its for the purpose of "saving face" or maintaining appearances. but the thing is, like. for what fucking audience???? like its so weird to me that ppl still see it as a deliberate performance with a clear nefarious goal of smth to gain, rather than like. the obvious behaviour of those traumatized by a lifetime of performing. they do not know how to do anything but perform. the shakeapeare references are everywhere. all the worlds a stage. the little box with their puppets that turns on and their motions are so creaky and frantic its nauseating. theyre the catton players. constantly trying to escape but not knowing how. farleigh being the only one not in that box isnt a coincidence either. hes the only one who us able to escape, not only olivers death spree, but the performance: hes got his bloody american feelings. venetia and farleigh and felix and even pamela all being hypersexual and everyone interpreting it as them deliberately using sex as a tool for gain, despite the fact that elspeth literally says that venetias been that way since she was 14. hypersexuality is a trauma response. elpseth being obsessed with other ppls trauma when she clearly cant process her own, and the same with felix. dude the cattons are deeply fucked up, but not in the cool way, theyre not the abstracted caricature of rich folks that yall want them to be. they are EXTREMELY real. and that is what makes them so fucked up!!!!! arguably oliver is the least real out of all of them and thinks the most like a catton should but we know thats a lie bc we see his pov. hes just as unhinged and unmoored and confused and unstable as they are!!! hes just convinced himself hes like them (cool, clever, detached, always one step ahead) when theyve convinced themselves theyre like him (normal, down to earth, humble, "real"). its so meta and i love it.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

okay need to say that i'm addicted to your intro post.... sirius is brat & u get it. also rosebitchkiller?????? your mind. you've opened my eyes to something. pls yap on it

hi i literally love you youre so cool SO

this made me think bc i usually think of them in a au-ed world ? not a canon thing. but i like making canon things. sawr.

established rosekiller

rosekiller isnt exclusive exclusive . theyre like friends w benefits atp

evan's had a crush on sirius since he like saw him and it never went away

barty thought regulus was cool and when he met sirius he started harboring a small obsession over him

evan and barty are toxic and bad-with-feelings and just generally horrible people (x) and they fight a lot and break up a LOT

while the prank is happening in the marauders' pov, evan and barty break up

sirius comes home for christmas that year even though he usually spends it at hogwarts and barty is haha also there

-i feel like sirius def pities barty. i mean he does canonically yes, but in-school, he just sees a kid who fucking hates his stuck up dad with stupid high expectations who's never content? that w how he hates regulus and projects his worry for regulus onto barty is .

barty gets Attention from Cool Older Brother who's all suave and idgaf and mean and his little obsession turns bigger

sirius "ive never seen healthy forms of romantic love" black is . relishing in barty's obsession.

he hates barty obviously, because what's a good kid doing hanging out w dark art kids ?? but like also Mmm Attention <3

when he's not with his mother, he's with barty

they also like fuck btw like yuckily too bc theyre fucked up

(this all happens over the . like . two week? idk/ christmas break)

when they get back to hogwarts - that's when things get interesting

rosekiller get into a rather violent fight bc evan is like "not only did you commit to another person, its SIRIUS BLACK????"

(barty did not commit . but thats for the bitchkiller post.)

and while this little thing is going on the marauders have healed and sirius is like "bartemius who 💀💀"

uh barty is Angry and Evan is kind of jealous and kind of relieved and kind of horny

evan and barty competing w each other to get sirius' attention

(barty usually gets it, but like it's nothing special)

(the sexual tension is great on e&b's part sirius is just "what do these horny fucks want")at

uhh it turns into three-way flirting

also i didnt metnion but like all three of them HATE each other like evan finds barty obnoxious and sirius a faker (he loves them both) sirius finds evan ew because dark arts and barty a loser because... well. he is. and barty finds them both irritating but unfortunately the pinnacles of male beauty (hes really horny i fear)

uhh smoothly turns into a threesome by the very end of sirius' fifth year

sirius runs away over the summer

back at hogwarts, he doesnt really want to go back to that weird toxic-threesome-thing he had w rosekiller because, again, he doesnt really like them and they dont really like him and they dont even really like each other and maybe sirius likes someone else? remus or james or whoever? and sirius wants to build Healthy relationships?

sirius clings to james a more at the start of hogwarts (naturally) and barty is who sirius is more averse to talking to because he's usually harsher and gets angry easier and is less easier to intimidate

so evan and sirius talk a bit, for once, like have. real conversations. and get to know each other.

sirius has a buzzcut btw (i have STRONG feelings about this) so evan gets one too

evan is Weird and knows in detail about very obscure things and sirius is and always has been attracted to knowledge. while w barty it was more of a debate thing, w evan he can just spill information and listen to evan's too without it being competitive

also evan is more of a bitch so sirius doesnt deem him a threat to his mental health

ALSO !!! barty flips between hypersexual and sex repulsed like a light switch so evan and sirius are used to fucking, like just the two of them, a lot

but barty has fomo so they dont really hangout alone yk

oh and also barty and sirius dont really 'hangout' alone either because evan is very possessive

uhh but like yes they fuck again

its a not-really-friends with benefits situation

no feelings involved !! haha !!

till evan gets the dark mark :3

(barty does too, but sirius doesnt know)

umm !! big !! fight

theyre very violent i didnt mention this but rosekiller have BLOODY fights. sirius isnt very prone to throwing a punch, he usually does enough damage by his tongue alone, but like he gets dragged into it sometimes

(and then JAMES gets involved too because of course he does...)

but like this fight is final and sirius is like "why are you guys even upset were just fucking 💀💀"

and uh btw barty and evan litr never stopped being obsessed w sirius and are just now realizing that sirius just does not gaf like FR how down bad they are (sirius doesnt know theyre like fr in love but like it wouldnt make a difference sawr)

uhh yeah so sirius breaks it off

and barty and evan are like fuck him

but also like i miss fucking him 💔💔

wait a minute we could just ... fuck eachother

for ever

hence rosekiller is birthed

then sirius graduates and literally never thinks about them again

well maybe he does

but only like "god they fucked good i need dick rn" and "i still scars on my waist tf"

and barty and evan are like resentful but also like ugh he doesnt gaf... thats so hot... but also like they found someone who matched their freak (each other) so theyre content

yerp

i hope this makes sense ☹️💔

[angel---eater]

i remembered that this was a thing and i couldnt help myself. elaboration under the cut

theyre both pretty vers, but hal got interested in Domming. dirk is really happy as a sub. hal also knows for a fact that dirk NEEDS to be Dommed so he doesnt just go crazy all the time, and Domming in turn helps hal regain a safe sense of control over both himself, his surroundings, and dirk. Domming is full on a hobby for hal. hes also really fuckin strict about SSC rules (as you should be) but dirk... not so much

drive: they both have trauma that impacts their drive. hal's drive is tanked most of the time bc he finds it difficult to interact with his body that way- another reason why he prefers to Dom, as for him theres a safe balance of separation and gettin' right up in there if yknow what i mean. dirk swung the opposite way with a generally higher drive while also struggling with hypersexuality (you can be hypersexual regardless of drive)

taking risks: dirk has a boner for Getting Into Situations that hal would rather he not get into ever. hal gets spooked somewhat easily and is more concerned abt safety. dirk doesnt use the safewords they set up LMAO. he says he will and he does remember them, he just doesnt know his limits and/or willfully ignores them to '''challenge himself''' which leaves hal with too much on his Dom plate too often. this is the cause of many arguments and hal storming out of the house with threats to never touch him again (yeah right)

dirk has called jakes name like 10 times. hal not so secretly likes it though. he holds it over dirks head for leverage

there was an incident that ended up with dirk in pretty bad subdrop, relating to him just not using their safewords, which also put hal in severe domdrop the next morning. hal ugly cried for a solid hour. this is related to the 'got injured/injured someone else' points

their playlist started serious w/ attention to bpm because they never half ass anything, but it quickly dissolved into memery. yeah they still fuck to it

dirk also mentioned alpha dave once. of course he did, hes himself. need i say more about that

hal kinkshames dirk for being a little too into machines routinely lol. its twisted around into a humiliation thing

hals mind sometimes wanders off during vanilla encounters. his face will just glaze over like dude will literally be scrolling through social media in his CPU brain while dirk is bouncing on it. it pisses dirk tf off and also really worries and stresses him out. hal isnt actually aware that hes just as if not a little more dissociative than dirk

tangentally to sex, most of the time all they want to do is snuggle and kiss. being able to be close to e/o like that is overwhelming in both good and bad ways. half the time they cant touch each other at all, and on really bad days they can't even be in the same room. theyre both BPD as fuck, so sometimes the feelings pile up until they burst

[alterpack-drivethru]

dearest mod packet will you please bless us with a Dream or Wilbur alter... go crazy with it, I'd love to see ur take on either of em!! just be sure to include names that arent too related to "Dream" or "Wilbur" dnjshfj :3 thank you mod packet !!!

– @bloodpumping

You're only given a little spark of madness...

A C!Wilbur & C!Dream Alter Inspiration Pack. Packs will not be a 1 to 1 to the headmate! Scrap whatever isnt needed!

TW FOR: Religious Trauma mentions, Mind Control Mentions, Drug mentions

⋆₊ ♱ name: Wilson, Wil, Terrence, Maverick, Maddoc, Abel, Ozwald, Vesper, Icarus, Simon,

⋆₊ ♱ age: Chrono 40+, DistantAge (An age that feels distant to your being, for whatever reason that may be) TransPerma25

⋆₊ ♱ gender: Grimegender, Rotgender, oddthing, deaddfluid, somethingmasc, Chaos Gender

⋆₊ ♱ pronouns: Hx/Ix/Thxy/He/It/They/Vi/Vim/Dead/Rot/Hollows/Golds/Things/Dusts/Reviveself/Soulself

⋆₊ ♱ source: DSMP

Did not leave for utah for "selfish reasons", as hx will say

Gained complicated forgiveness from Tommy, due to still having high regards for Dream.

⋆₊ ♱ species: Human-thing, Zombie Equivalent. Was once purely human, but the process of revival had taken away many parts of his original humanness. He is often numb to most forms of pain, and refers to it as feeling like he has a body made of stones and bricks.

⋆₊ ♱ relationship ids: Gay, Aroweird, Caligosexual

⋆₊ ♱ cis-ids: Revived, Cane user, Disabled, Mind controlled, Drug User (Uses to self soothe), Low Empathy, Cold blooded, Harmful, Stitched, CPTSD, Depression, BPD, Schizoaffective, God Complex, Severe Flashbacks, Amnesia, Emotion Repression, Manic, Manipulative, Manipulated, Groomed, Perci-Villian

⋆₊ ♱ trans-ids: Transliving, Minecraft Heart, TransPolyhearted (where one feels they should have multiple hearts either literally, or by soul), TransPOTS, Trissreligioustrauma, TransSevProgramming, TransRomantic, TransCOTARD's, TransNPD, TransSevTrauma, Trisbirace, TransObsessive, Transgermanaccent, TransDystonia

⋆₊ ♱ extra-ids: PermaSickly, PermaAbusen (abused + abusive), PermaAge25, PermaManic, NullSoul, PermaCold, PermaLonely, PermaRotScentic, PermaFrankenstine (Limbs are from different people. From test experiments to Dreams revival process)

⋆₊ ♱ roles: Hyperludusian, Compulsion Keeper, Pain Absorber, Cassmate, Shock Absorber, BPD Delusion Calmer, Depression Holder, Distortionist, Hypnotical Persecutor, Guilt Trip Fighter, Chef, Sickness Nuller

⋆₊ ♱ triggers:

Pos: When They Come for Me, Cigarettes, Trains, Strategy Games, Ravens, Cooking, Flags/Researching Flag History, Debating

Neu/Complicated: Philza, Caramel Pie, Journals/Planners, Little Brother Figures, Diamond Swords, Train Stations, Bright red lights

Neg: Teddy's Taxidermy, Explosions, Prime (Religion), Needles, Deserts, Hands Being bound/Restricted, Hot Tea, Bad drug trips, Hospital/Emergency Room Settings

⋆₊ ♱ faceclaim:

⋆₊ ♱ name: Dremyr, Tristin, Ridge, Fawn/Folly, Wolfen/Wolf, Iso, Dread, Morana, Sol,

⋆₊ ♱ age: Chrono 200+, Immortal, AgeForever

⋆₊ ♱ gender: EndermanGender, Xeno-Intersex, Masc Agender, Innoruien, SickThing, timarix

⋆₊ ♱ pronouns: He/Him/Thxt/Thxng/Hym/Faer/Bliss/Gods/Shi/Hirs/Muttself/Nxghtself

(Thxt/thxng is pronounced That thing, that things, that thingself. Nxght/Nxghtself is Night)

⋆₊ ♱ source: DSMP

Hir Revival involved more than a revival book, and is more medically trained due to it.

Is from the farlands before thxt thxng's home was destroyed

⋆₊ ♱ species: Disguised, Will often try an hide thxt thxng's identity from visual perception. Is a White Enderman. May have more sensitivities than normal Enderman alters. May disguise thxt thxngself to be another headmate, but with unmistakable details.

⋆₊ ♱ relationship ids: Hypersexual BPD, Guiltsexual, CupidoRomantic, AcaniRomantic

⋆₊ ♱ cis-ids: Autistic, BPD, NPD, Moral OCD, Mind controller, Programmer, Scarred, PermaMasked, PermaDisguised, Green Blood, Abusive, Manipulative, Grave Robber, Killer, Apathetic, Enderman, Hypersexual

⋆₊ ♱ trans-ids: TransPredator, TransSevHarmful, TransMortal, TransHuman, PanAccent, TransConabuse, TransPerci-Monster, TransASPD, TransDelusional, TransSemi-mute, TransGod, TransMinecraftDeity, TransController, TransPanOCD, TransSwordsman, TransPsychosis

⋆₊ ♱ extra-ids: TransPermaShapeshifter, PermaController, PermaProgrammer, PermaBloody, Permabloodstainedfur

⋆₊ ♱ roles: Apathy Holder/Cassmate, Interventioner, Bodily Caretaker, Apperance Morpher (More frequent to change the bodys outfit to hide more), Hypersexual Holder, Emergency Responder, Mortician, Death Distractor, Trauma Holder

⋆₊ ♱ triggers:

Pos: Stone Wall Stone Fence, Picking Fruit, Grave Robbing, Bridges, Painting, Cleaning, Panthers

Neu/Complicated: Tommy & Wilbur, Water, Ticking Clocks, Cabins, Snow, Being in friend groups

Neg: Empty Plains Fields, Butterflies, Being surrounded, Unwanted Sexualness, Bubbling Lava, Lava Sounds, Sam (gets angry rather than scared)

⋆₊ ♱ faceclaim:

[charalysis]

Sebastian Vael

Opinion: Sebastian Vael isnt boring, you all are merely unwilling to recognize a victim of religious brainwashing and abuse when it’s someone like him.

Firstly, let’s establish a timeline. 

Canonically, in Act 3 of Dragon Age two, Sebastian claims he has not seen Starkhaven, his home, in fifteen years. He was forced into the Chantry shortly after his grandfather gave him his bow, which was at 13 years old, making Sebastian, at minimum, 13 when he was forced into the Chantry. This timeline honestly doesn’t sit right with me. Given the reason his family put him into the Chantry was they were “worried he would sire a bastard child”, this implies Sebastian, at 13 years old, just hitting puberty, was already having such an active sex life (which has alarming implications on it’s own), that his parents decided to take action and force him into Chastity.

I find it far more likely Sebastian was 16 at youngest when he was doing this, thus making him 31 or so by Act 3. While a hypersexual 16 year old is still concerning, it’s far more believable than a 13 year old.

Regardless, Sebastian was shoved into the Chantry between 13-16 years old in Kirkwall, under the watchful eyes of Grand Cleric Elthina.

To understand Sebastian’s behavior, we must understand Elthina’s interactions with him.

Elthina plays the roll of overbearing and manipulative mother to Sebastian, as he doesn’t seem to ever see his mother again after being thrown into the Chantry. Elthina, throughout DA2, is seen berating Sebastian for his behavior, for his mere personality. Sebastian acts impulsive, she yells as him, he makes friends outside the Chantry, she yells at him. He’s considering his faith and trying harder to be devout, it’s not good enough, and she yells at him. Elthina repeatedly comes at Sebastian like a chastising mom and gets frustrated when he questions her or disagrees. Elthina is even seen/ heard trying to make things Sebastian’s fault, as if his impulsive and inquisitive personality is glaring flaw. She does not tolerate him questioning her.

Sebastian always leaves his conversations with Elthina confused or frustrated, as she’s defensive and shuts him down immediately.

Given this, we may also examine Sebastian’s habit of relating things back to Andrastianism and his faith. Based on how hard Elthina drills things into his head with Hawke around, it’s entirely possible that before Hawke arrived in his life, Sebastian blindly followed whatever she said. It’s not exactly clear what Sebastian specifically dealt with before he met Hawke, but given Kirkwall’s Chantry is as corrupt as the rest of the city, there’s a possibility he wasn’t fed his beliefs and the Chant of Light by reading.

When Sebastian recites things about the Maker or the Chant, at times it feels as though he’s more so trying to convince himself more than anything, especially given he doesn’t try to push his beliefs onto others. The closest he gets to that is A) helping Fenris navigate his own struggles with faith, B) suggesting to Merrill it’s possible both faiths are correct and can can coexist. 

Another thing that leads me to believe he’s not as invested in his faith as he claims is one quote from him to Varric. “Varric, would the Maker but approve, you and I could be more than the best of friends”.

Opinion: Youre gonna look me in my eyes and tell me that’s a straight sentence from a heterosexual man??????????

It’s established that Sebastian was going to be bisexual, but that the devs decided he was only to be romancable by Female Hawke due to him being in the Chantry. 

Thus another thing Sebastian is forced to hide about himself.

Sebastian’s interactions with Elthina often leave him sad, distressed, and confused. It’s these moments that often make him question himself more than any other time. He expresses regret after acting out of anger fueled impulse and questions if it was the right thing to do, but after Elthina berates him, he’s more likely to question his own thoughts and personality as it relates to her and their shared faith. She has whittled away at his self worth that he actively talks about how his behavior, no matter how justified, isn’t appropriate.

And this all STILL doesn’t even talk about the issues he must have had as the youngest of three in a royal family. His parents had their heir and their spare, where did that leave him? He never mentions his parents much, only his grandpa, and even directly brings up the heir and spare thing. I’m willing to bet Sebastian was an oopsie baby; an unexpected third child in the family and due to him not fitting into the heir/spare dynamic, his parents focused on their older sons, ensuring they got attention and proper ruling education. This would leave Sebastian to be raised by servants and taught by his grandfather, I also find it possible that Sebastian may have had a decent age gap between himself and his siblings, thus further isolating him from his family. In fact, that could explain why he’s so accepting of others in the Kirkwall gang ragging on him. It’s interaction and attention.

This could also explain the copious amounts of sex and partying that lead to him getting tossed into the Chantry. He got attention from his bed mates and fellow partiers, and eventually it got his parents to pay attention to him. Though it inevitably backfired on him, as they tossed him away to forget about.

TL;DR: Sebastian Vael was likely neglected emotionally and has suffered from Chantry brainwashing and never realized. He’s not boring, most just find him irritating due to their own issues with religion and don’t look at what his backstory truly is.

[our-hyperace-experience]

eughdhh i wish i could speak out openly about hypersexuality, especially as someone whos aspec, but it already has a stigma and then adding on the "contrasting" label of (demi)ace makes it worse :(

so far the only person ive spoken to about it is my (allo) bf, whos also hypersexual so ig it makes it slightly better because he also knows what its like, but hes slightly more open about it to our friends (he hasnt said anything explicitly about hypersexuality) and they just make fun of him n i hate it jfjfjfg

overall ig i just wish that hypersexuality isnt seen as such a taboo or something with such a stigma that it cant be spoken about, despite it being something that you cant control :(

- boykisser anon

Honestly yeah :(

The most I usually do is talk in actual communities who actually struggle with it and understand what it's like.

It also sucks how many people romanticize it too, it's either that or a bad stigma.

But overall, raising awareness and support is the best we could do and give someone a safe space :)

[mikka-minns]

I wanna talk about touga

TW: mentiones of CSA and child abuse and misogony

I think the reason utena was so attached to him is because he is her two fantasies on one.

He is the ideal prince - something utena wants to be, but people say she cant cuz she is a girl

But what makes touga stand out is also that he is very similar to anthy when it comes to his expiriances.

He was sexualy abused as a child by his adoptive father and became hypersexual. His defense/coping mechanism is his "playboy" persona that he puts on.

In the movie, he is confirmed to be dead. He died saving Someone else, but not saving himself as well. He put Someone's well being instead of his own and it was his doom.

Now, anthy doesn't seem much like touga at a first glance, but thats because their expiriances are based on their gender.

Anthy is a girl - akio abuses her and makes her his weapon and a toy, but Also a trap for all the duelists to trap and groom them into his system of princes and princesses. She puts others (specificly her brother and the dualist that she is engaged to) before herself and lets them do what they want.

Touga is a boy - he is abused by akio in the same ways as anthy, but he is a 'prince', not a 'princess', so akio uses him differently in his system. He is a tool for akio, a chess peace in his game. He is there to act as an 'Enemy', 'opsticle' and as a 'distraction'.

If they were born with each other's(opposite) sex, they would have each others destinies and roles (the Ones choosen by akio and society, at least) cuz of different expectations put onto them.

We all know anthy is utena's canonical love intrest and something that utena needed to accept in order for their relationship to be true, something not bound by akio's rules and not Just a "prince and rose bride' relationship, was that she cannot be anthy's savior. She should not want to be anthy's only hope and for anthy to completely depend on how sucsesfull she is in akio's game. She should not want and hope to become a prince, because it isnt what she thinks it is.

So when she accepts that and lets go of her childhood fantasy, she lets go of touga all tougether.

The only reason she liked touga as a 'love intrest' in the first place was because:

1. he is a boy, Someone who, while she might not be attracted to, society would aprove of.

2. Someone that she can save and be a prince for(like what she wanted for anthy before she realized its not a good thing)

So in conclusion: touga is a combination of anthy and utena in the worst possible way, but the most acceptable, to society, as well. Utena liked him cuz she had a savior complex and internalized lesbophobia/homophobia.

Someone Also said that the reason why he and Anthy ignore each other is cuz the dont care for themselfs and therefore dont care for their 'genderbends'. (okay, thats mostly what i Thought of when i saw that post, but it isnt far from truth)

Anthy is pretty much genderbend touga in the way Diane is a genderbend version bojack(show: "Bojack horseman" , if you're intrested in that, you have videos on youtube)

Bonus: the two most noticable colors on anthy when in rose bride dress are purple(hair) and red(dress). Those are colors of touga's eyes and hair.

(im sorry if this is messy and gramaticaly incorrect, english is not my first language and i kinda wrote this in unexpectedly and had a lot to say)

[notesfrompanihida]

list of things in my life in chronological order that left permanent scarring in my character:

father (ongoing) - physical, psychological, emotional, and verbal abuse. neglect

pascal - groomed me into a sexual relationship when i was 15 and he was 21

ex of a year and a half - extremely toxic turbulent relationship at the height of my bpd becoming apparent. defined how i perceive myself and others

^ ex dumps me a day after my cat of 8 years dies and does it in the worst cruelest way possible - made me enter a state of psychosis for several months after. permanently altered my mind and attachment style

***, pseudo friendship of almost a year - *** was the first person who i felt genuine love for after becoming numb to any emotion as a result of the breakup. cluster b + cluster b did not cancel out and made the relationship extremely upsetting and triggering. i felt like i was constantly fighting for his attention and only got it from him when i was ignoring his messages. i stopped texting him for a month because i gave up. he blocked me everywhere

***** (ongoing) - abuser (me) x victim (him). horrible relationship. he doesnt understand me i dont understand him. he refuses to leave despite the aggressive pushing from me

caydence - sexually assaulted me

jacob - used me while lying to my face that he loves me and will be by my side despite my disorders. abandoned me after my disorders flared up

how it affected me:

doesnt trust anybody

extremely hostile aggressive and violent if feeling threatened

not hypersexual but always trying to be sexually appealing so i can give people a reason to stay if they bite the bait

overcompensating with buying others gifts, doing action services (i forgot the term), pretending to give a shit way more than i actually do just so they dont see who i actually am and leave

love isnt real

unshakeable beliefs about being worthless, unlovable, and disgusting. i believe everyone is out to get me. i believe NOBODY actually means their love and care because someone like me cannot be genuinely loved and cared about

constantly putting up an act in front of others and micromanaging every single thing i do down to little body movements

self esteem doesnt exist. i hate myself and want myself dead more than anyone else

severe jealousy issues that consistently ruin my day

i cant establish boundaries

i get my consent constantly violated because i cant say no. i would rather suffer than tell someone to stop because their pleasure is more important than my urge to kill myself

puts everyone and everything above myself

constant health issues physical and mental, im in and out of hospitals

severe depression that affects my life and makes me attempt at least once a month + frequent $h

god doesnt love me

always tells others what they want to hear so i can keep them in my life. means 10-20% of it

obsessive, possessive (internally)

theres more but i think it stems from when i was born and not because im traumatized

idk what possessed me to write this maybe someone will see this and relate. alisa play life eternal by ghost

[kingcunny]

You mentioned having a headcanon that Alyssa copes using Valyrian supremacy, do you have any other Alyssa headcanons??

yeah!! i love the alyssa that exists in my head

i consider the meta that jaehaerys was sexually abusing his daughters to be canon. and while there isnt as much evidence that it was happening to alyssa too, if it was happening to all her sisters id find it hard to believe jaehaerys wasnt abusing her too.

there is however evidence that alyssa was being groomed to be baelons wife since she was basically a toddler. as thats how alysanne copes with her own incest-grooming marriage to jae. the twisting of familial love into a romantic sexual love.

as a response to this abuse+grooming she becomes very hypersexual. (basically all her lines in f&b) alyssa herself copes by leaning into the grooming and valyrian supremacy 100%. of course she was romantically in love with baelon since a little child, she was *made* for him. (“you were made for battles, i was made for this”) all targaryen women are made for their older male relatives. and brother-sister marriages are the divine ideal. thats how they keep their bloodline strong. her purpose is to give her brotherhusband strong dragonriding babies. (that line about wanting to give baelon his own army of sons)

which is why viserys was such a disappointment to her. her firstborn son, and hes nothing like her or his father. hes *soft* and weak. alyssa was mean to straight up cruel to him at times. both to “punish” him for ‘taking away’ what she thought her firstborn son should be and to try and ‘toughen him up’ (which only backfires as viserys becomes more anxious to please anyone who he sees as having authority over him)

she was much happier with daemon. even though he was only 4 when she died, he was a very willful child. and so he got most of alyssas affection. (and some of this preference was probably projection- her first son was a flop so her second MUST be better)

miscellaneous that i didnt have room to fit above-

alyssa was very protective of her sisters. though not enough to try and defend them from their father. (who she wouldve, of course, been raised to believe has a ‘right’ over them all)

T wouldve saved her.

[termagax]

seeing some people's reaction to weird gamer men oversexualizing kiriko is "mauga is right there, half naked, with serveral pin-up sprays" and while i do agree to an extent, i do feel like alot of people are kind of ignoring like. the racial element of mauga's sexualization, like i like mauga, he's hot, but the second i saw him in the short story, i wasn't a big fan of the whole "big savage brown indigenious guy" and it feels like very few people are pointing that out.

RIGHT LIKE. we cannot fix "gamer men fixate on fictional asian girls to a violent degree, usually in a racist way or enabling racist tropes already present in the character" with "gamer girls fixate on fictional brown men to a violent degree in a racist way or enabling racist tropes present in the character" like you guys are part of the same problemmmmmmm youre doing the same thinggg its not better because youre doing it to men like.

i think some people only want to see the kiriko problem as misogyny and while im not going to even pretend that ISNT a massive part of it, theres still like. a reason kiriko and d.va and mei are fascinations for these dudes. there is a pointed difference between the way these three get spoken about compared to their white counterparts (and their dark-skinned counterparts too - look at the responses to illari for a really easy comparison to how kiriko is treated). their ~exoticism~ as asian women is part of the appeal. even if you dont just wanna take the way dudes online treat them (like making a joke that shes "obvious pornbait" for speaking japanese and using JSL) as evidence of that, look at their marketing. kirikos whole thing is atheleisure traditional, shes got her Mystical Japanese Spiritualism Ninja Powers and her magic doggy and they constantly put her in japanese and korean fashion, and dva has been constantly crossing over with korean merch companies. i cant help but notice theres no brazilian IP crossovers or merch launches for lucio, or any attempt to Sell Peru To Gamers for illari. they couldnt even pick a town in Samoa to name maugas map after. these people wouldn't buy that stuff because it's not fetishized in the same way asia is.

but like. a lot of the people trying to Gotcha these racist dudes with an asian fetish just whip out their favourite racist tropes instead and its a really bad look. like you guys dont wanna examine how your examples of The Characters Its Okay To Hypersexualize are all brown? even the people who wanna fuck cassidy dont talk about him like this. or like. fuck if you want a good comparison for mauga lets look at roadhog. big half-naked tank who theyve been playing up a sexual energy/comic relief duology on since day one with racially insensitive cosmetic options. nobody treats it like its completely normal to talk about him that way. the dev team isnt pushing pinups of him out. he isnt flexing his boobs in trailers. hes a white dude*, so he gets the bare minimum dignity of being treated normally. incidentially hot, maybe, but for the most part his character is sold on being cool , funny and scary. mauga is being sold 50% on being a Sexy Rogue Love Interest and 50% on. releasing late. they put in so little effort for him to be anything else despite hyping him up as suuuper significant to the lore and a major gamechanger its almost embarrassing to watch. (this is why that short annoyed me so much for anyone keeping track).

[nicegaai]

tryig to finish this almost complete oneshot and i guess its been a while since i was last on a writing kick because i didnt reread the whole thing before inserting more exposition (rambling about my headcanons from their povs) and i ended up w a chunk thats completely out of place and contradicts the rest of the plot ...... but its Compelling ................ so now i have fuel for the next time i start feverishly ranting in notes app about nor/way and ice/land being weird about each other. i guess

basically the concept is norway has the kind of childhood sexual trauma that makes him hypersexual to the point he has very few strictly platonic relationships because having sex with everyone is just What He Knows. and he does the kind of life lore dropping where he'll drop the saddest story ever and laugh about it and never bring it up again ykwim ... this is my baseline norway interpretation. that man is not going to therapy. if he ever does, he doesn't last long.

anyway he doesn't think about iceland like that. it literally doesn't cross his mind. despite the warping in his brain, he genuinely thinks of ice as his younger brother. this is one of his few platonic relationships.

andddddd. if iceland wanted to change that he would barely put up a fight. he wouldnt fight at all actually. norway would be like oh ok lol. this is what happens to all his relationships eventually, especially because he has a reputation by now. and iceland knows the reputation. and takes advantage of that.

the concept goes one of two ways: either norway kind of wanted this all along but was trying to think of ice as off limits For His Mental Health, and that gets blown up, and nor is like whatever lol that therapist didnt know shit. OR. norway really genuinely thought of ice as his only family member (non sexually), and this change in their dynamic fucks him up. and he Acts Normal but internally it makes him sick, and he tells iceland what he wants to hear but slowly , or quickly, he becomes so emotionally distant that it freaks iceland out and everything is ruined forever, even though nore said it was fine and it was 100% consensual and iceland isnt sure what to do

and this is larger in scope than im willing to attempt 👍 so i will daydream a bit while finishing this 6k other thing and uhh while avoiding the ch 8 beta notes .....

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

been trying to put this into words all night but the thing with saltburn is the cattons beleive their own lies!!

elspeth doesnt just frame her cruel gossip and tendency to take in charity cases as motherly love or emotional support, she genuinely thinks of it as such

felix doesnt just frame his fucked up inherited-from-his-mommy-issues, white knight, (white) saviour complex so he can live vicariously through olivers made up family trauma bc its the only way he can process his own as a way to look like the good guy, he genuinely beleives hes a good guy

oliver doesnt just frame his actions as having been deliberate the entire time, he genuinely convinces himself that they were. we just know its not true because weve seen from his pov from the start. i wasnt in love with him but i loved him.

venetia isnt being a seductress for some specific nefarious purpose and just framing herself as a helpless damsel, shes genuinely hypersexual and possibly not in her right state of mine to give consent

the only one who sees through the bullshit is farleigh!!! and he not only sees the cattons self deception, he sees olivers. you almost look like a real human boy. youve almost convinced yourself you *are* one. oliver mimicing the cattons mimicry of normalcy, except they genuinely beleive in it. and while oliver may never be able to have that old money, the derangedness comes naturally to him. so not only can he easily mimic their performance, but begin buying into it as much as they do.

and farleigh snaps him out of that. venetia says hes so "real". hes better at their games of being "real" than they are, because hes better at being the thing that makes them fake. he may not have blue blood, but hes certainly cold blooded. and thats what makes him such a threat both to them and himself. he can trick them and he can try to trick himself but it wont ever fully work. hes naked in an empty house. hes won saltburn but hes lost felix.

[kacievvbbbb]

Hello.....If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series) and your top 7 favorite (fictional) characters from any media ? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this questions before......

Hello!!!

Sorry about the late response I usually use tumblr on my phone but i was having a hard time typing something so long so it’s taken me a few tries. 

Thanks for being my first ask! I would love to answer your question.

Deciding on my favorite all time characters was so much harder than I thought it would be. I think it’s because the character exists so thoroughly in their own world to me that it’s hard to stack them against each other. But I’ll do my best!

I’m going to split my answer between your two asks because I don’t want the response to be too long. Also, forgive me for I cannot spell and punctuation is my natural enemy. 

My Favorite Characters (as of right now)

Jason Todd a.k.a the Red Hood - Batman/ Red Hood Comics

This is pretty simple actually I’ve been obsessed with him since I watched Under the Redhood the animated movie and then went on to consume so much content about him. I think he is if not my most favorite character, then at least my most consistent character (I jump from hyperfixation to hyper fixation alot) So yeah he’s great. He’s very much a shining example of characters I tend to gravitate to in media. 

Kugasaki Nobara - Jujustu Kaisen

Justice for my girl Nobara. I consume quite a bit of media alot of which you could argue was originally geared towards menand so female characters are usually not the best or most fleshed out and so rarely become my favs which is why I hold the ones that do so close to my heart. Nobara is like no other female protag I’ve seen in shonen, she’s allowed to be so much she’s so mean and so forthright and she’s silly she’s a non-hypersexualized comedic relief character and that’s so hard to get with female characters that isnt just them beating up the main character who just lets them. Don’t get me wrong she’s mean to yuuji but in the way we are all mean to our best friends. Her moral philosophy is one of my favorites in the show, shes so complex and so fun and here powers are so interesting. I wish more would be done with her.

Ice Bear - We Bare Bears 

I don’t really have much to say here. Ice Bear’s just a cool dude.

Reigen Arataka - Mob Psycho 100

This is very basic of me but I love Reigen so much. I love mob to but Reigen just slightly edges him out because of his sheer insanity. The way Reigen is animated is so god he can never just do one action he’s so hyper and he’s such a bullshitter I love him. But really I feel like we never really get these kinds of  stories with “sensei” like characters. Cause in the beginning He’s presented to us as Mob’s master but it’s so obvious that he’s a con man but the thing is he still gives really good advice and in his own way he is genuinely really helping people. And he gives the single most best piece of advice to a teenage mc that I’ve ever seen. Like how often to you hear the master character tell their pupil that the right thing to do is runaway. That he shouldn't be responsible for fixing the messes of adults, he’s a child and should be allowed to be a child that all the villains are adults and it’s frankly pathetic that they are trying to fight actual children. Reigen simply is him and he grows so much in the way he treats Mob. It’s hard not to love him. Also he has no friends his own age so I feel bad for him. 

The Archangel Michael - Supernatural

There’s not much to say here. He has like 20 minutes of screen time across 15 seasons, but the ways in which I am unwell about him are limitless. He’s my poor little meow meow I will defend him to my dying day. 

Honorable mentions to those I don’t really think about often,and like more in the context of a dynamic, but when I do I go on an absolutely fanfic fuelled mania. 

Erwin Smith (AOT) - There is no canon evidence for this whatsoever but he strikes me as a man that is just a little too much like his mother (unhinged). This is solely based on a specific fic series but the ways in which I am unwell about this trope has implanted unto him. Also love his dynamic with Levi

Robb Stark (GOT)- Honestly I cried about the red wedding for 5 days straight and yeah I like reading about his dynmaic with Jon. 

Shinsou and Aizawa (MHA) -  cheating, but I like them as a dynamic and i flip flop between who I like better, especially in fics where Shinsou isn’t just a vehicle for trauma.

Mihawk and Shanks (OP) - We don’t really know alot about either, though Shanks has gotten a bit more fleshed out recently. I think if we ever find out more about Mihawk he would ascend to one of my favorite characters but right now all Ireally have are headcanons. Also I love Shanks I love seeing him on screen I find him such a fun but tragic character and i dont really know why but yeah he cares so much he’s like a slightly more weighed down luffy what’s not to love?

And finally the ogs

Zoro (OP) - I was so obsessed with him when I first started reading one piece. Love him and Luffy

Nico di angelo (PJO/HOO)  - I think mostly I’ve outgrown Percy Jackson but what kind of person would I be if I didn’t give love to the ogs.

and so here's my list of favorite characters very convoluted I know. I'll probably respond to the second half of your question tomorrow because this kind of wiped me. 😅

But thanks so much for the ask! this was fun

[nolongerexistingsadcatface]

What are your top 5 hetalia/Nyo America hot takes >:3 ?

This is sooo tough... Pft I've never even thought about nyo america for more than 5 minutes, idk how I’m gonna do this

Ok fr real time: I think everything i post about america is a hot take atp HAHA But I’ll try to think of some kooky ones for u 😜

1. DON’T HATE ME GUYS. But I like humanities girl America more than stem girl America…… 🫣 I think my purpose in this life is to spread the good word about American art throughout history cus WOW is it good AFFFFF… I’m just sick of seeing no posts that aim to celebrate american authors 💔💔💔💔 The only time I see American literature posts from non literature freaks (affectionate) are when they’re being made fun of 😭😭 Like ok you guys just don’t understand it…. you don’t understand the genius that is the early 1900s American novel….I LOVE AMERICAN CLASSIC LIT IN CASE YOU COULDNT TELL And also I am shit at science, like so shit, and I’m sick of seeing Hetalia stupid meme posts that require a gawdamn master’s degree in chemistry to even begin to READ the post, let alone understand the joke….

2. Quaker/pacifist Nyo America, y’all already know

3. Idk if this is a hot take per se, but I don’t use Amelia for Nyo America cus I think it binds her too closely to canon/fanon nyo america

4. If she’s not naturally asexual, she’s. becoming isnt the right word, but it kind of is? Idk…… Like she isn’t ACTUALLY asexual—she would be fine w sex if she didn’t have issues—but now she finds it near impossible to feel sexual attraction because of past trauma. She skipped being hypersexual and went straight to abstaining cus she couldn’t take it anymore </3

5. Redhead , I think we all know that at this point, it’s my staple

6. I DON’T THINK SHE’D HAVE PERFECT TEETH?? Blah Blah YOUR America can be a representation of American stereotypes, MINE is a representation of wider American people and culture <3

Ok onto actual general hot takes………… ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

7. I DON’T THINK ENGLAND LIKES KIDS…. Like idk, to me, that mf hates babies and kids and thinks they’re gross and icky. He’s literally the youngest child, there’s no way he had any introduction to/interaction with babies that was influential/long enough (INCLUDING RAISING AMERICA COUGH) for him to view them as anything more than nuisances who shit and cry (i wuv babies dont get me twisted. this is uhhh free indirect discourse )

8. Scotland and Ireland aren’t brutish dickheads sawrry. Or at least, if they Are dickheads, then ALL the UK bros r dickheads, not just those two #slay

9. Sealand’s existence annoys me . All micronations’ existences basically, like they don’t exist in my canon srry