#that i can apply to different mediums
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captaindamianos · 2 years ago
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Originally for @lamenweek
Prompt: balcony kiss
unfortunately I was paralysed with fear and didn't dare use my markers lol
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squuote · 2 years ago
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saying I ship them is not enough, I need to carefully and intricately explain exactly how their dynamic works and what they mean to each other and how they rely on the other in a detailed fashion that encapsulates exactly how their relationship effects me as a person. I need to put their relationship in a way that is more than just ‘I think they should kiss’ because kissing is gross and I think they should fight each other and fight for each other instead as an act of love. And because there’s so many ways to love, defining it through only a small selection of actions does it no justice. I need to explain the ways they care for the other, especially the parts that are never spoken. The intricacies of love as a concept that aren’t bound to a simple romance will be spilled once I get my damn hands on it
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danothan · 1 year ago
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thinking abt how essential it is to my characterization of barry allen that he’s insecure abt not being able to keep his scars as a speedster, symbolizing his lack of touch with reality + his relationship with his body and humanity + his inability to live in the present bc his anatomy itself refuses to let the memories linger, how he’s desperate to hold onto the past bc he’s constantly reminded of how fleeting life is, how he’ll slow real time down at superspeed to experience smth for just a little longer, how his body can’t keep score so his mind compensates
and then i draw him with lightning bolt stetchmarks and top surgery scars anyway bc i think they look cool </3
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skullhaver · 5 months ago
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not the 'don't write long paragraphs' post twice on my dash on one page from two unrelated ppl...
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kerosene-saint · 5 months ago
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I wonder if I was misdiagnosed as low support needs when I'm more closer to medium support needs
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giantkillerjack · 9 months ago
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This!!! It takes so much effort and executive function to get good care! Especially if you don't get the chance to develop a long-term working relationship with a carer, which means starting from scratch over and over again.
Not to mention the danger and dehumanizing infantilization that comes with an ableist carer "hLeping" in every aspect of your life, taking away bits of agency at every turn!
I got government funding for an assistant, and they expected me to keep a specialized care worker employed for $12/hour with NO BENEFITS, which makes keeping a stable carer in my life really hard in the expensive city I live in! (My last assistant left for a job with health insurance, and I couldn't even be mad! I would too! We stayed friends!)
Also if I wasn't able to supplement that dogshit pay with my own savings - something MANY disabled people don't have the privilege to have - I wouldn't be able to hire anyone bc anything less than $20/hour isn't worth the metro fare it takes to get to me!
- and this isn't even going into how INCREDIBLY difficult and time-consuming it was to get that petty financial assistance, plus all the deeply invasive and dehumanizing questions I had to answer for strangers in order to get it - they needed to know how I wipe my ass before they forked over thier HIGHLY-regulated and intensely-monitored minimum wage rates for a needed service!
Yet another example of how tight regulation and high burdens of proof enforced upon disability aid make it IMPOSSIBLE for the people who need it most to access that care! I was only able to do so because my mother is a lawyer who helps me with paperwork! I literally don't have the cognitive function to access government assistance otherwise!!
Needing carers is so exhausting. Especially if you have carers who change often or don’t know you too well. There’s just so much compromise and communication.
Like, if a non disabled person wants a sandwich, they can just make a sandwich exactly how they want it. But if you have to ask someone you either have to give detailed step by step instructions or you get a sandwich which isn’t the sandwich you’d have made yourself. And sometimes you do give the detailed instructions, but the sandwich still isn’t exactly how you like it.
And sure, a sandwich might not seem like a big deal, but it’s not just sandwiches – it’s everything. It’s how you style your hair, how you wash, how you eat, where you sit, how your clothes are, your makeup,
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harryspet · 6 months ago
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well kept [2] r. cameron
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[warnings] dark!ceo!rafe x reader, size difference, billionaire!older!rafe, shy!reader with low self-esteem, reader is a person who stutters, boss x personal assistant, heavy abuse of power, emotional/mental manipulation, NONCON, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+
A/N: Pls reblog and let me know what you think!
word count: 4.5k
In which you officially enter into a world of high stakes and intense demands.
well kept masterlist
Your fingers traced the smooth edge of the new work bag that sat on your desk, a pristine luxury item whose brand you didn’t immediately recognize. It was medium-sized, big enough to fit your brand-new laptop, and an off-white color with pebble-textured leather. 
“Wow, you clean up nice,” came a voice from behind you. You turned to find Eleanor approaching, coffee in hand.
Instinctively, you pulled down your skirt as she looked you over. You were effortlessly polished, for sure. You usually only get your hair professionally done for special occasions, opting for simple protective styles you could do yourself. However, you had to admit you felt pretty with your hair in a neat, braided rose that reached down to your lower back. 
The clothes only amplified this unfamiliar sensation. After trying on eight outfits the previous night, you had settled on a cherry-red cropped blazer and a matching pleated skirt. You’d chosen the shortest heels Rafe had sent—a pair of white kitten heels adorned with gold bows. Your makeup, subtly applied, complemented the overall look.
Eleanor set her things down, straightened, and placed a hand on her slender hips. “Take your bag,” she said. “I’ll show you where Rafe expects you to work.”
“I thought that was my desk.”
“He’ll tell you where you need to be and when you need to be there.”
Her answer was simple enough. 
You entered the luxurious space that Rafe called an office once again. Even when he wasn’t in the room, you were intimidated by it, “He had this brought in for you,” Facing the wall on the side of the room that held Rafe’s desk, in the corner, was a simple mahogany desk. The miniature version of Rafe’s desk. A cushioned stool was placed underneath and on top were a notebook, a cup of pens, and a small lamp, “This is where he’ll expect you most mornings. You’re to review his calendar before he arrives, memorize it, and you’ll brief him on the day when he walks in.”
“I’m ssss-supposed to be in here with him …all day? What if I, you know, need you?”
“I’m right down the hallway, or you can email me.”
Eleanor spent the next thirty minutes showing you their emailing system and how to access Rafe’s calendar. She even shared a large cheat sheet she’d made with all of Rafe’s preferred restaurants, coffee shops, hotels, and the names and numbers of his home staff.
When she left you alone, you looked around the room. The view of the office from your corner was daunting. However, your heart had been beating too fast ever since you met Rafe. 
You turned your attention back to the calendar system. It was sleek and well-organized, and luckily, it was straightforward enough to navigate. You took note of his key meetings for the day and repeated them over in your head. You wrote down some notes in case your mind drew a blank. It was your first day, and he’d give you some grace, right? 
You needed to be able to anticipate these needs, but all you knew about Rafe Cameron was that he was complex and demanding. 
The sound of footsteps in the corridor drew your attention, and hurriedly, you glanced down at your note sheet again. Standing from your seat, you smoothed out your skirt, and with your notes in hand, you folded your palms in front of you. 
Unconsciously, as he pushed open the doors, you sucked air into your lungs. You held your breath until his eyes met with yours. In comparison to when you first met him, he was dressed down. He wore a short-sleeve black polo black dress pants, black leather penny loafers on his feet and a briefcase in hand. His face was stoic as he looked you over and let the doors close behind him. As big as they were, they were practically silent went they closed, adding to the ominous feeling in the room. 
You smiled, or tried to, “Good morning, Mr. Cameron, I’m–”
“I want you right here,” He interrupted, pointing down at the floor a foot before him. You stepped forward, hoping you wouldn’t trip like you had while practicing walking in them. Despite how he towered over you when you were this close, you made yourself comfortable there, “You’ll be right there every day when I walk in. Try again.”
“Good morning, Mr. Cameron-”
“I prefer Sir.”
Try again. Unfortunately, you were pretty used to being interrupted and forced to stop and start your sentences. “Good morning, Sir.” You were smiling as much as you could, but your throat hurt like your body wanted to cry. “Today, you’ll sss-start with three sss-separate online conferences with potential investors: Mr. Daniel, Mrs. Hunt, and Mr. Rivera. After lunch, you’ll have your weekly group meetings with department heads. You’ll start with Finance at one o’clock, Legal at two, and Design and Architecture at three. Your meeting with Property Management at four o’clock was canceled but rescheduled for Wednesday. For the rest of the day, you will be free to catch up with emails and ssss-submit the …. sss-ssss-strategic plan report you’ve been working on.”
He nodded once throughout your briefing, his face remaining impassive. You thought he might cringe at your mistakes, but he didn’t. You couldn’t help but feel like a strange choice for this job. Why would someone like him want to listen to you? 
“Good,” he confirmed, and you were relieved only for a moment. You were okay until he started to look you over, “Turn around.”
You weren’t sure why you looked in his eyes to see if he was being serious. Of course, he was being serious. Awkwardly, you face away from him until he adds, “In a circle, please.”
You felt your cheeks heat up from embarrassment before you faced him again. 
“I have a question,” You said.
“Yeah?”
“About the clothes. I …I didn’t know if it w-would be okay to return ssss-ssss-some of them. I just, there’s sss-so many.”
“And?” Rafe pressed, his brow furrowed. 
“I-I don’t have that much room for them.”
“Hmm,” He thought briefly, “How’s this? You take a picture of yourself in each outfit and then email them to me, and I’ll decide which ones I want you to wear. But everything red can stay. I like the red.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but he brushed past you and returned to his desk. Unsure whether you were supposed to move or stay put, you waited in place. 
“I’ll take a coffee. Black. Thanks.”
Eager to escape the room and not feel the weight of his gaze, you hurried out of the doors. Panicked, you approached Eleanor’s desk, waving your hands to get her attention. She was on the phone, but you mouthed “Coffee.” Acting as your life vest, she pointed you toward one of the many doors that lined the wall across from the reception area. 
Inside, you expected to find a normal breakroom, but the room’s decoration reminded you more of a lounge. Black coffee should be easy enough, but your hands shook slightly as you worked the modern, sleek coffee maker. After you prepared the coffee, you took a breath, and made your way back to his office. You kept yourself as composed as possible, and he glanced up at you briefly as you entered. You set it carefully on the coaster near his computer. 
He didn’t directly look at you or the coffee; you took that as your sign to retreat to your desk. 
You sat quietly as he attended all three of his virtual meetings. Inevitably, you started to listen. Sometimes, you’d tune in, wanting to learn something, but you gave up a few times after realizing how complex things were. 
When he finished all his meetings, he spoke up, “What are the arrangements for lunch?” 
“Lunch …” You echoed, thinking about the calendar you recognize, “Is there sss-something sss-specific you’re in the mood for, sir?”
“On Mondays, I have lunch with my COO and CFO. We have standing reservations at several restaurants. You’ll need to pick one, call, and make sure everyone knows the plans.” 
“Okay,” You nodded, “Yes, sir.”
Was that on the cheat sheet? Had you missed that? After scrolling a few times, you will find the list of restaurants and senior team members. 
You called The Prime, an upscale steakhouse, for Rafe and his senior team, ensuring every detail was perfectly arranged. When it was time to leave, you stood to bid Rafe goodbye, only to be told you were expected to join him. Quickly gathering your things, you followed him down the elevator to the parking garage. Eleanor gave you an encouraging thumbs up and smile as you passed her.
You must’ve looked frightened. 
Rafe’s choice of vehicle, a massive black truck with gleaming rims and immaculate leather seat, wasn’t a surprise, but his courteous gesture was. He opened the door for you and gently placed a hand on your hip to steady you as you navigated the high step into the truck.
“Th-Thank you,” You spoke, your voice small before he closed the door. 
As you sat during the ride, you felt your thighs were too exposed. You crossed your legs, trying to alleviate that feeling, but it proved useless, “You’ll get used to it,” Rafe’s voice snapped you out of being consumed by your thoughts. You hadn’t realized he was even paying attention to you. 
Hesitantly, your eyes roamed over him. His shirt's short sleeves did little to conceal the strength in his arms and the defined lines of his chest. 
“You have a boyfriend?” He asked, his tone relaxed. He wasn’t allowed to ask that, but you recalled the words he had used with you the week prior. Would you fuck him? He’d already crossed a line. You needed to get used to his brashness, “A girlfriend?” He continued. 
“I-I-I,” Breathe in, slowly release, “I don’t.”
“Have you ever had one?”
The underlying implication of his words made you defensive, and you crossed your arms, “Have you, Sir?”
He let our a short laugh, “You just seem a little uptight,” Your lips parted and eyes widened.
“What-”
“I haven’t dated anyone seriously in a while. But you don’t need to date someone seriously to get what you need from them. I guess I’m just wondering if you have someone who . . . relieves your stress.”
“I really, really don’t want to answer that,” You spoke slowly. 
“Relax, we’re just talking. Is this going to be a problem? I’m just trying to get to know my newest employee.”
It felt like a mind game. He wasn’t like anyone you’d ever met before—every word, every glance from him seemed designed to put you on edge, to make you second-guess yourself. 
“No, sir,” You replied, trying to keep your voice steady.
“Are you a virgin, Y/N?” He asked suddenly as if he’d had some brilliant revelation.
“N-No,” You stuttered, lying through your teeth, “I’m not.”
He made a “hmm” sound as he glanced at you, “Of course you’re not. Forgive me; I shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”
You understood quickly he wasn’t actually looking for your forgiveness. He was testing you, pushing boundaries just to see how you’d react. 
When you arrived, Rafe pulled up to the valet stand, and a nicely dressed attendant quickly came over to open your door. You managed to step out with as much grace as you could muster, feeling the weight of Rafe’s eyes on you as you did. He was out of the truck in a heartbeat, striding around to join you, his hand again guiding you with that firm touch on your lower back. It was possessive, a silent declaration that you belonged to him, at least for the duration of this lunch.
The restaurant's setting was sophisticated and private, and you reached the table reserved for your group. The two of you were last to arrive, which meant all eyes fell on you as Rafe pulled out a chair for you right next to his seat. Two men were at the table, and you were taken aback by the fact that they were as young as Rafe. 
“Guys, this is Y/N,” Rafe gestured to you, making himself comfortable, “Y/N, meet Topper Thornton and Kelce Adams.”
You managed to speak to them, though your words stumbled slightly. They eyed you the same way Rafe often did, like prey. You could almost imagine your name listed on the menu in front of them. But Rafe, with a swift shift in conversation, cut off their questions, his tone a clear warning. When you took a bit too long to decide on your meal, Rafe didn’t hesitate. He ordered for you the moment the waiter arrived, a subtle reminder of the control he held over every aspect of your life, even what you ate.
You couldn’t help but notice that Topper shared Eleanor’s last name. Were they married? Siblings? The thought lingered as you made a mental note to ask her later. Without another word, you pulled out your notebook, ready to take notes for the meeting.
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Something in his last meeting had angered him. When he returned to his office, you watched him cross the room; your mouth wanted to form the words to ask, “What’s wrong?” but your lips pressed into a thin line instead. 
As he settled in his desk, you pretended to be engrossed in your notes, hoping to avoid his attention. Ignoring the cold air in the room and the dark cloud hovering above him grew impossible. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched him. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and tapped at the surface of his desk. Was it anxiety he was feeling? 
“Come here, Y/N?”
Startled, you dropped your pen on the floor, the sound making him fully turn his head towards you. Awkwardly, you picked it up and set it down on your desk. You fixed your skirt as you crossed the distance between his desk and yours to keep it from riding up. 
“Yes, sss-sir?” 
His eyes were dark as he spun his chair to face you, “Tell me,” He began, “What do you think you did wrong today?”
Your mind raced. Did you do something wrong that you hadn’t realized? There were plenty of mistakes, but it was only your first day and you’d been completely thrown out of your comfort zone. 
“I’m not ssss-sssure, sss-sir,” Your voice was barely above a whisper, a grimace on your face as you tried to force out the words. 
“Not sure?” He echoed. 
“I should’ve know t-t-to …” You pushed through that “stuck” feeling, “Make your lunch reservations.”
“That’s one.”
“Uhm,” Your voice trailed off as your bottom lip shook. You felt like a child being scolded. Why did you keep freezing? Why did you let him speak to you that way? “I-I-I-I-I…”
“Does it hurt, you know, when it gets that bad?” Rafe leaned back in his chair, his arms folded against his chest, now looking at you with curiosity and frustration.
You shook your head because it was all you could manage.
“You can’t think of anything else, huh?”
“I’m sss-sss-sorry,” As a tear fell from your eye, he stood from his chair. 
He shushed you, grabbing ahold of the top of your arms, “You know I could have chose anyone for this job?”
You nodded. 
“But I chose you,” You nodded again, “I do love to see you apologize, sweetheart, but you have to know what you’re apologizing for.”
“I’m sss-sssory,” You couldn’t help the apology that tumbled out again, “Fff-for not knowing.”
“There you go, yeah, that’s better,” He pulled you closer, and you felt his hand brush the strands of your hair over your shoulder, keeping it from your face, “I told you this would be a mutually beneficial relationship. You need money, someone to care take care of you… I need ... I need you. When you’re with me, you’re mine to do with as I please. Do you understand?”
You nodded, feeling like he was the only thing keeping you grounded. He dominated the space, his presence suffocating, and the fear of displeasing him made your breath catch in your throat. The boundaries between you blurred even further, leaving you more trapped than ever.
“Good girl,” one of his hands wrapped around the side of your neck. His gaze pierced into yours, his mind racing behind them, and he sighed as he mentally concluded, “I can’t punish you just yet.”
“Punish?” You asked in a whisper, his face moving in closer. 
“You gotta learn somehow, right?”
Your eyes darted from his eyes to his lips, panicked. Nothing could have prepared you for him smashing his lips against yours. One hand was on your neck, and the other wrapped behind you, pulling you into him. Even as his kiss overwhelmed you, your mind couldn’t let go of the word he had just used—punish.
“I have to fuck you. I have to,” He growled between kisses. 
Your hands pushed at his chest, but it was like trying to move a brick wall, “Please, Rafe,” You tried to say. Part of you thought using his real name would snap him from his trance, but he groaned into your mouth. 
You’d never been kissed like this; no one had ever explored you with their tongue, and part of your mind seemed to rejoice. The other part, the rational one, told you to escape. You started to use your strength to pull from him as you stepped backward, but that only made him grip you harder. 
You yelped, and when Rafe opened his eyes again, he smiled. Whatever weighed heavy on his mind before had clearly been relieved by the game he was trying to play. You stumbled back when he let you go, almost falling on your behind, “Go on,” He said with a smirk, “Just makes it more fun for me.”
Of all the games, you liked this one the least. You turned to flee, but before you could reach the door, he lifted you off the ground. You screamed, and the next thing you knew, you were being thrown onto the couch. Rafe pinned you down easily, his weight crushing you as he reached for your legs. You shut your thighs tightly, and his glare felt like a knife in your side.
“Do not!” He exploded, and you whimpered, “Hey, hey, sweetheart, I don’t want you to ever close your legs to me.” 
“Rafe, please … please d-don’t,” Someone would hear. Eleanor would hear, wouldn’t she? She’d stop him before he went too far. 
“God, I’d beat your fucking ass if I didn’t need to be inside of you right now,” He growled, prying your legs apart and tearing away your underwear as soon as he could feel it. He wrapped one hand around your throat, squeezing just enough to keep you pinned down, while the other undid his belt. “You don’t make demands anymore, do you understand?”
“I’ve-I’ve nnn-never…”
Understanding flashed in his eyes. 
“You're a fucking virgin?” You nodded, feeling a small piece of hope, “We can add lying to that list of things you’ve done wrong, huh?”
He seemed to pause which you felt grateful for. His belt was already undone, his hips sinking into yours, “No one’s ever tasted you?” You shook your head, “You’ve never had a cock in your mouth either?”
You looked away, embarrassed. 
“Fuck,” He breathed out, “You’re gonna be all mine.” 
“Please-” You tried again, but he silenced you, pressing his lips to yours again. 
This time, he was more deliberate with his movements. His hands traveled higher, and he reached into your shirt to gently knead at your breasts. He moved slower like he was savoring the moment. At the same time, you felt even more tortured. Your body betrayed you, responding to his caresses as if they were safe, as if he were someone you trusted. He was making all the right moves and your mind felt even more confused then your body. 
Fingers pinched gently at your nipples and your lips parted into a moan. He used it as an opportunity to explore your mouth further. Next, he moved down your jaw and then he nuzzled his face into your neck. There was a place on your collarbone he’d found, one that made you yelp in pleasure, a spot you didn’t know existed. That’s what he wanted. To conquer you. 
You felt warm between your legs and a slickness as you tried to move your legs. Rafe was still taking his time. He’d lifted your shirt, pulled down your bra, and placed your left breast into his mouth. You cried out, your back arching in an automatic response. If he kept going, you knew you could finish just from this alone, and the thought filled you with a mix of shame and despair.
Slowly, methodically, he dismantled your guard. 
When he sensed you were ready, that he’d successfully turned your body on, he pulled down his briefs. You couldn’t bring yourself to look down. It was gonna hurt, either way, why dwell on the size? “Tell me,” He kissed your jaw, leaning down to your ear, “Ask me to take your virginity.”
You tensed, “I-I d-don’t.”
“I can make it hurt, Y/N,” He warned, “I promise, you want me to be gentle”
He pressed his tip against your entrance, and you were already cringing, “Fucking ask me, or I’ll push it all inside.”
“Will you …t-take my virginity?”
“Please,” he corrected, a dark satisfaction in his tone.“Where’s your manners?”
“Please, take mmm-my vvvv-vvvv-virginity,” He slowly started to enter you, and you pressed your hands against his chest. 
You started to breathe heavily, “T-T-Too mmm-mmm-much.”
He pushed in more, “That’s just half, sweetheart. Take a deeper breath for me."
You listened even though he was hurting you. Even now, you believed him to be better than you. Looking up at him, you slowly breathed in and out. As you controlled your breathing, he started to move in and out of you. He cursed and grunted into your ear, soon falling into a rhythm. 
Pain began to blur with something else, something you didn’t want to acknowledge. 
It was a foreign feeling, being full of him, reaching to parts of you that had never been discovered. The only thing that felt wrong to you was how it was happening. Is this how it always felt? So completely all consuming? You were warm everywhere, a pressure building at your core, and you struggled to make a sound other than a moan. 
With each thrust you let out a yip, not realizing that you’d stopped pushing at his chest and started pawing at it. That only encouraged him further. He reached underneath you, lifting your left leg to your chest, as he grabbed a handful of your ass. He pried you open further in this position and he looked down at you …almost grateful. He was savoring you and every moment that he was touching you, infiltrating your body. You’d never had someone want you like this. 
Before you were even really aware of it, the pressure inside of you had built to a crescendo, and you’d cried out against Rafe’s lips. 
He smiled against yours, “Good girl, sweetheart,” Tears escaped your eyes again, this time because of how confused your hormones were. It felt like an uncontrolled explosion of emotion. 
Now, the sensation actually felt like something you couldn’t physically handle, “Oh my god, o-oh my god, ” You spoke over and over as you went back to pushing at his chest. 
“Stay,” he commanded, his body pressing you down further as he slowed his movements, his rhythm faltering. “I’m almost done,” he added, a hint of amusement in his voice. “You’re squeezing so tight.”
“Please,” you begged, your legs starting to shake. “Please, Rafe.”
Your words seemed to bring his climax. Your second orgasm came painfully, and you scrambled to free yourself from under his weight after he finished sinking into you. Your legs didn’t stop shaking, but at least you could catch your breath. 
Your bare bottom hit the plush carpet of his seating area, listening as Rafe’s heavy breathing slowed. You fixed your bra and top before you started to search for your underwear. To your dismay, they were completely torn. 
“I’ll get you some new ones, some nicer ones, yeah?”
You nodded, though you weren’t sure why. Feeling his gaze, you pushed your skirt down next. Looking down, you realize his remnants were sliding down your thighs. You just shut your legs tighter. A hand on your back made you glance up at him. His eyes were still dark, but there was more satisfaction than before. 
“We’re done for today, but before you leave, uh, Eleanor needs to see you.” 
He stood, and you looked away as he started to zip up his pants and fasten his belt again. 
“Th-That’s it?”
“Until tomorrow,” He said, his tone returned to business, as if the last few minutes were merely part of the workday.
You thought he was returning to his desk, but Rafe walked to your desk and collected your purse and computer. As you stood, your body ached, and you realized how disheveled you must look. Was your makeup smudged across your face? Did he bruise the back of your thighs? 
Rafe brought you your things, his hands finding your lower back, “Go home. Get some rest. And don’t forget about those pictures, yeah?”
You nodded although your mind was elsewhere. The next thing you knew, you were standing on the other side of the door, clutching your bag tightly to your chest. Your mind started to wonder what exactly had caused all this. Was he mad at you, or was that I an excuse to …ruin you. 
When you made it to Eleanor’s desk she asked you, “How was your first day?”
You nodded, trying to shake your expression into a smile, “I-It was … o-okay.”
There was no way she could have missed it in your eyes or in your appearance, but she continued, “I just need you to sign that NDA before you go. It’s completely standard procedure. It just assures that everything you see and hear is confidential. Protects the business.”
You took the papers from her and you tried to keep from shaking, “I can explain anything you need-”
“That’s okay,” You shook your head, knowing you just wanted to go home and hug your stuffed frog, “Thank you.”
You flipped through it quickly and signed your name where she indicated, “There’s one more thing. Are you on birth control?”
You stared, knowing the implication of the words. Why didn’t she warn you before you agreed to this?
You shook your head.
“You’ll need a Plan B. Should I pick it up for you, or would you prefer to do it yourself?”
Of course, you’d had friends who’d bought it before but the idea of going by yourself right now made you want to be sick. And you couldn’t tell your friends … at least not yet, “Could you … g-get it?”
“Of course, I’ll have it tomorrow,” She nodded and offered you a polite smile, “Do you need any help getting to the parking deck?”
You shook your head quickly, “I www-walked, thank you.”
As you made your way to the elevator, you wondered how your day spiraled so entirely out of your control.
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Please reblog WITH your thoughts on the chapter to be added to the taglist for the story :) Also pls feel free to send me anons about your predictions/what you'd like to see in the story!
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cosmos-kitty · 1 month ago
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Do you have any tips for painting with gouache? like how do you get it to stay a nice solid color over a large swath of paper? and how do you blend it so seamlessly?
Of course, here's a few pointers off the top of my head:
1. I've used gouache for this in the past so it's possible, but the flat backdrop on my latest WIP is actually acrylic! A nifty thing I've found about putting a layer of acrylic down, is that it creates a barrier once dried and essentially makes the paper waterproof. This means you can work in gouache on top without it mixing with the background, and you can wet a section and completely wipe it clean with a cloth/tissue and it won't disturb the acrylic layer underneath. It also makes the paper more resilient, and you don't get as much pilling/tearing from the moisture
To get an even wash it's mostly getting the right consistency, I add just a little water - enough that the paint is less "tacky" as you drag your brush along paper, but not so much that it's runny or translucent. It takes a couple of attempts sometimes!
2. Also for the current WIP that I posted earlier, like the vast majority of my traditional pieces, keep in mind that it's mixed media. So I assume you're referring to the blue-green gradient on the bird and wondering how I got the gouache to blend like that - it's actually colouring pencils! I'll often switch between dry and wet media, even layer them back and forth, whatever makes the most sense to get the effect I want 😁
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3. On that note, when you're working with paint, or any medium really, I can't recommend enough having a "test" sheet that you do both before and during a traditional piece. It allows you try out different medium combos, see what shade your gouache will dry into, and catch any issues before it ends up on your artwork. I often see artists being encouraged to just Bob Ross their way through a piece, the idea being that you'll just have happy little accidents that you'll naturally work into the piece - maybe, but you'll also possibly irreversibly wreck your hard work and have to start again. I don't know, I'm just a methodical person I guess, but seeing someone just directly apply something to the page when they're not sure what it's going to do makes me wince - no two art supplies are the same! All of those paints and pens have different chemical makeups, there's an unlimited number of ways what you're using could interact, good or bad.
Since it's already there, I usually reuse one of the leftover failsons from the process of making the wash background, then test everything on top of that. That way you can see exactly what shade the paint will dry on top of whatever colour the background is:
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Doesn't need to look good, nobody sees it (usually) and you can also test the thickness of your brushstrokes while you're at it.
Anyway, I hope this helps!
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thydungeongal · 3 months ago
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That's actually such a good skill to cultivate: thinking about RPGs not just in terms of setting or genre tropes but also in terms of what the characters are expected to be doing. D&D isn't just a fantasy game. The Burning Wheel is also a fantasy game, and so is RuneQuest, and those games assume very different things about play.
In fact, I feel people treating D&D as the fantasy game also ends up coloring a lot of people's perceptions about the medium in general but also leads to them considering D&D a generalist game, which are both issues but different types of issues: the first one can make people consider the Adventure Party format where gameplay is largely about going into places to overcome adversity and grow in strength the default; the latter makes people not consider other games because they think that an adventuring game engine can be easily applied to other genres, because they largely view the differences between games as a matter of the shape of dice being rolled.
Anyway, D&D is a specific type of fantasy game that assumes the characters going into dangerous places to kill things and overcome adversity in order to grow in strength and gain more riches. If you want a game that doesn't do that you need to articulate what you imagine the characters to be doing. Sometimes a genre label is a good shorthand: the magic school genre label is already pretty evocative about what sort of things characters can be expected to be doing. But you can't always count on it.
As another example: Ars Magica and Mage: the Ascension are both games about playing (different types of) wizards, but the former is very much about researching spells while the latter is much more like. A modern supernatural conspiracy game where the characters can also cast spells. There's a difference not only in terms of setting, but what characters are expected to be doing.
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prettieinpink · 3 months ago
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BUDGETING + SAVING MONEY FOR TEENS 𐙚
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For many of us, we are entering an age when we can work casual jobs such as retail or fast food. It’s not a lot of money that we receive, depending on how often you get paid, but it can go a long way in the long term. 
In this post, I’ll be discussing how to budget for your needs/wants and save money for future goals. 
CREATING GOALS, you may want to save a certain amount of money in a time frame, want to make a big purchase (like a car) or buy everything off your wishlist. It is entirely up to you what your goals are, so I can’t say too much. However, the more specific it is, the better.
HOW MUCH? Determine how much money you need to save to achieve your goal. In total, and monthly. 
There are three types of saving goals that may apply to you;
Short-term goals >1 year (outings, latest gadget, buying your cart)
Medium-term goals 1-2 years (road trips, shopping spree)
Long-term goals 2-4 years (higher education, car)
It’s very important to set a realistic time frame, as teens we don’t get paid much and we also don’t work as much. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself as well, as it takes patience and self-control to achieve these goals.
NO LOOONG-TERM GOALS! This may sound aggressive, but any money that just sits in your account for years on end is dead money. Even though the amount of money is increasing, its value is slowly decreasing. Keep your goals achievable within a time frame of less than four years. It's much more useful if this money is put into some type of investment instead. 
CREATING A BUDGET
Calculate how much money you receive every month, and how much money you spend every month. 
You have two types of expenses. Fixed and variable. Fixed are any expenses required in your day-to-day life or it’s an amount of money that doesn’t change e.g. subscriptions or transportation costs. Variable costs are expenses that may fluctuate, like food, or any other recreational activities. 
Record the average you’re spending monthly with these two categories. 
There are many ways people choose to budget, but you have to choose a system that works for you.
Work out how much money you need to save each month to achieve your goal.
However, for anyone who’s starting in budgeting, I would say to allocate your costs using a percentage system. Your percentages for each category are going to differ from mine; e.g. 60% = savings, 20% = wants, 20% needs. Make sure it reflects the end goal. 
Track your progress. This is the major part of budgeting, you want to be recording and regularly reviewing how much money you’re spending and comparing it to how much you’re earning. It allows for space to reflect on the flow of your money like if some purchases are worth it, if you’re impulsively spending, or if you’re frequently withdrawing money from your savings. 
Adjust if needed. Maybe you want to put more money in savings and less into wants, or you want to put more into wants and less into needs. 
SAVING TIPS
SAY NO! This is probably my biggest struggle at the moment, but say no to things that will cause you to go off track. Whether its outings, getting fast-food or anything similar, say no. You have to be firm with your financial boundaries, as these opportunities will always arise again. 
RESTRICT IMPULSIVE SPENDING. We all have our moments when we see a product and we instantly think ‘I’ve got to have this’. Giving in once or twice is okay, but it shouldn’t become a habit at all. Its unnecessary spending (most of the time!) and leads to buyers remorse. 
IS IT WORTH IT? Always remember to work out which products you’re getting the most value out of. 
PAYING FOR THE NAME, a lot of brands will cut down on quality to save a few dollars, so essentially the customer is only paying for the name of that brand. Just because a store is more expensive, doesn’t mean its better.
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tocac · 6 months ago
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ToCAC's application form is OPEN!
ToCAC is intended to be an 18+ space. PLEASE do not submit an application if you are not 18+
ROUND 2 SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW LIVE (no current close date as of 2/2/25)
What is ToCAC? ToCAC stands for Trans of Color Art Collective. ToCAC is a community of Trans artists of color to collaborate, hang out, get feedback and be in a community of other trans artists of color. Who can apply to ToCAC?
Any 18+ self-identifying trans* person of color with an interest in art in any medium!
What do you mean by Trans* ? Anyone who self identifies under the trans umbrella including but not limited to:
Two-Spirit
Transgender
Transexual
Non-binary
Agender
Xenogender
Genderqueer
etc...
I will not gatekeep on the basis of identity. This community accepts every trans person with open arms. We are a space that is affirming to pre-op, no-op, no-hrt trans people!
Why was ToCAC created?
As a black trans artist student myself I found it hard to find a local community of other trans artist of color who were interested in working in similar spaces. I found that my experiences as not only a trans person, but also a trans person of color differ heavily from my white trans counterparts in the art world, and I assume I am not alone. I created ToCAC hoping to create a strong community of other trans artists of color who share the same outlook on creating work within that context.
If you have any questions please send them to the ask box :D
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feminist-space · 8 months ago
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"Artists have finally had enough with Meta’s predatory AI policies, but Meta’s loss is Cara’s gain. An artist-run, anti-AI social platform, Cara has grown from 40,000 to 650,000 users within the last week, catapulting it to the top of the App Store charts.
Instagram is a necessity for many artists, who use the platform to promote their work and solicit paying clients. But Meta is using public posts to train its generative AI systems, and only European users can opt out, since they’re protected by GDPR laws. Generative AI has become so front-and-center on Meta’s apps that artists reached their breaking point.
“When you put [AI] so much in their face, and then give them the option to opt out, but then increase the friction to opt out… I think that increases their anger level — like, okay now I’ve really had enough,” Jingna Zhang, a renowned photographer and founder of Cara, told TechCrunch.
Cara, which has both a web and mobile app, is like a combination of Instagram and X, but built specifically for artists. On your profile, you can host a portfolio of work, but you can also post updates to your feed like any other microblogging site.
Zhang is perfectly positioned to helm an artist-centric social network, where they can post without the risk of becoming part of a training dataset for AI. Zhang has fought on behalf of artists, recently winning an appeal in a Luxembourg court over a painter who copied one of her photographs, which she shot for Harper’s Bazaar Vietnam.
“Using a different medium was irrelevant. My work being ‘available online’ was irrelevant. Consent was necessary,” Zhang wrote on X.
Zhang and three other artists are also suing Google for allegedly using their copyrighted work to train Imagen, an AI image generator. She’s also a plaintiff in a similar lawsuit against Stability AI, Midjourney, DeviantArt and Runway AI.
“Words can’t describe how dehumanizing it is to see my name used 20,000+ times in MidJourney,” she wrote in an Instagram post. “My life’s work and who I am—reduced to meaningless fodder for a commercial image slot machine.”
Artists are so resistant to AI because the training data behind many of these image generators includes their work without their consent. These models amass such a large swath of artwork by scraping the internet for images, without regard for whether or not those images are copyrighted. It’s a slap in the face for artists – not only are their jobs endangered by AI, but that same AI is often powered by their work.
“When it comes to art, unfortunately, we just come from a fundamentally different perspective and point of view, because on the tech side, you have this strong history of open source, and people are just thinking like, well, you put it out there, so it’s for people to use,” Zhang said. “For artists, it’s a part of our selves and our identity. I would not want my best friend to make a manipulation of my work without asking me. There’s a nuance to how we see things, but I don’t think people understand that the art we do is not a product.”
This commitment to protecting artists from copyright infringement extends to Cara, which partners with the University of Chicago’s Glaze project. By using Glaze, artists who manually apply Glaze to their work on Cara have an added layer of protection against being scraped for AI.
Other projects have also stepped up to defend artists. Spawning AI, an artist-led company, has created an API that allows artists to remove their work from popular datasets. But that opt-out only works if the companies that use those datasets honor artists’ requests. So far, HuggingFace and Stability have agreed to respect Spawning’s Do Not Train registry, but artists’ work cannot be retroactively removed from models that have already been trained.
“I think there is this clash between backgrounds and expectations on what we put on the internet,” Zhang said. “For artists, we want to share our work with the world. We put it online, and we don’t charge people to view this piece of work, but it doesn’t mean that we give up our copyright, or any ownership of our work.”"
Read the rest of the article here:
https://techcrunch.com/2024/06/06/a-social-app-for-creatives-cara-grew-from-40k-to-650k-users-in-a-week-because-artists-are-fed-up-with-metas-ai-policies/
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thevulturesquadron · 2 months ago
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Anyone who claims that the secret ending in Veilguard is disrespectful or nullifies agency in the previous three games is either unable to traverse layered storytelling or is being ignorant on purpose.
I am not sure how someone assumes that it was about mind control or magic when games upon games the fantasy setting in Dragon Age has been a medium for telling stories about the nature of people, about different perspectives, about the dangers of applying singular ideals to a complex existence, about how people and the ways in which they interact shape destinies.
How can you not be excited to learn that there’s a world outside Thedas, that the web is more complicated and that when one wrestles to break the threads it vibrates all the way to the spider letting it know it’s dinner time?
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linghxr · 7 months ago
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Tips for finding Chinese-language media you like
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I’m sure some of you started studying Chinese because of Chinese webnovels or dramas. But for others (myself included), it's challenging to find enjoyable Chinese-language media. Here are my tips! I will mostly mention TV shows, but these tips apply to other types of media as well. They can apply to other languages too.
Tip 1 - Start with something similar (but not identical) to content you already like.
My entry to Chinese TV shows was idol survival shows like Produce 101/Chuang and Idol Producer/Youth With You. I used to watch the US version of The Voice and The X Factor, so I was already interested in singing/performing competition shows. Yes, China has its own version of The Voice (or at least it did). But why would I struggle through watching the Chinese version when I could watch the English version effortlessly? On the other hand, idol survival shows didn't have a direct equivalent in English. Once I got hooked on them, I had no choice but to keep consuming Chinese media.
Tip 2 - Don’t force yourself to consume popular media that you don’t enjoy.
The first Chinese scripted shows/dramas I tried were iPartment and Love O2O, both very popular shows. But I didn’t like them and had to force myself to keep watching. Eventually I abandoned them. After that, I basically didn’t watch any Chinese shows for 2+ years. I wrongly thought that I didn’t like any Chinese shows or there were no good ones—definitely untrue! In retrospect, those shows are not the types of shows that I tend to watch in any language, so they were really poor choices. By forcing myself to watch something that I didn’t like, I was just wasting my time and sapping my motivation.
Tip 3 - Be willing to invest time at the start.
I won’t lie, it’s a large time investment to find the first few pieces of media that you really like. But after that, it gets so much easier. Especially with Chinese-language media, it’s not as popular as Korean and Japanese media, so you might not know where to start. Luckily, Chinese-language media is becoming more readily accessible! Open YouTube/Spotify/Netflix, etc. and invest some time upfront trying different things until you find what sticks. There may be some duds (like me with iPartment and LoveO2O), but don’t give up! Keep looking, cause it will pay off in the long run.
Tip 4 - Don’t let embarrassment get in your way.
It’s important to find media that you truly enjoy so you’ll feel motivated to spend time with it every day. So keep an open mind when exploring formats and genres that may be unfamiliar to you. I used to be embarrassed about watching Chinese idol survival shows, so I hid them from friends and family. I learned later that my friends are actually really receptive and willing to watch with me, even though they don’t speak the language! You don’t need to announce your favorite media to the world, but please don’t let embarrassment get in the way of your enjoyment and your language learning goals!
Tip 5 - Use what you like to strategically branch out to new mediums.
You can take advantage of adaptations and other connections to expand to new mediums. While watching idol survival shows, I would look up the songs’ original artists—that’s how I got into Chinese music! When I decided to give dramas another try, I watched Someday or One Day after seeing the ending theme song covered on Youth With You. Another drama, The Disappearing Child, starred actors I knew from the show Sisters Who Make Waves. When I decided to tackle webnovels, I read the original webnovel of Reset, since I loved the drama adaptation. This is the perfect way to expand your repertoire.
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dragon-ascent · 3 months ago
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Hey uh... *tugs at your shirt* my mother said that you can tell me about how Morax/Zhongli is mischaracterised with attributes from a western dragon and what attributes he'd actually have as an eastern dragon if it's fine with yours... (please say yes I love hearing people yap)
Tell your mother she brought you to the right place! Keep in mind I'm not the messiah of dragon mythology; but everything is nonetheless based on medium-levels of research & informal conversations with Chinese friends of mine. Still, feel free to take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Let's start with traits belonging to many Western dragons, which people tend to mistakenly attribute to Zhongli when it comes to his portrayal in fan work or even discourse:
Cruel & domineering: I see this a LOT especially with like, Morax/Rex Lapis portrayals where he's this arrogant man asserting his dominance over his nation (or even his partner!!!) in quite forceful ways, even taking human sacrifices in exchange for peace. Pls guys, he wishes not for dominion, but he cannot watch the common folk suffer. Also, there's a difference between being dominant and being domineering! Yes, he's established his dominance, but with absolutely no arrogance or cruelty.
Brutish: I know Venti seems to say that he's a blundering, brutish buffoon in his voicelines, but in CN he simply says the Geo lord is a blockhead who doesn't understand human emotion - which at the time is fair! Zhongli was still learning about the intricacies of humanity, learning while ruling. More importantly, there is no mention of him being a brute in the original line, and nothing in the in-game text pertaining to Liyue history supports the claim. So, if you see someone claim he doesn't care for humanity, kindly punt them on my behalf.
Self-centered: A pet peeve of mine, really. Although many Western dragons are seen as selfish and greedy, putting their wants above all, we see that Zhongli is the exact opposite. He puts his people before himself, always focusing on protecting the land, even if it means he will have to make choices that will hurt him, such as having to seal his close companion Azhdaha (and possibly even slaying Guizhong with his own hands, but that's another can of worms which I won't get into because canon has not touched upon this yet).
Now, there are some characteristics of Western dragons that can be applied to him since they're common traits in Eastern dragons as well:
Being unforgiving: Western ones might be more vicious in this regard, but it's mellowed into his duty as the God of Contracts. We know that there is no mercy for people who breach contracts, regardless of whether they are friend or foe. In this regard specifically, we can say that he is indeed unforgiving.
Cunning tactician: Yes! Zhongli is a master strategist, outwitting foes and coming out on top. Yes, we hear about his sheer strength warding off adversaries, but he also uses his wit to his advantage. You can read one such story of his in the teapot furnishing description for the item "Dainty Fists."
Now let me highlight some Eastern dragon traits, some of which are canon to Zhongli's personality, and some of which I feel should be more popular when it comes to creating fan content of our beloved Li:
Wise: Even at baseline, I think we can all tell that Zhongli is a wise and philosophical individual. His wisdom is the result of the accumulation of millennia galore, and most of his appearances in-game involve imparting valuable advice or knowledge to other people. Besides this, it's important to note that before his 'death,' he was responsible for carrying out administrative tasks for the nation (as mentioned by Keqing). He provided commercial & fiscal suggestions every year during the Rite of Descension based on his own observations throughout the year, analyzing the best way forward for the next year to ensure a thriving nation.
Possessive of art & knowledge: While Western dragons are often portrayed hoarding gold and other worldly things, Eastern dragons have an appreciation for art & literature, collecting precious stories and tasteful artifacts that reflect civilization's progress. This is something Zhongli does, too, purchasing wonderfully-crafted items made by the people he's nurtured for centuries, and listening to stories.
Love of humanity: Eastern dragons LOVE humankind, as opposed to their Western counterparts. They even transform into humans of different cultures to try and understand them firsthand. Zhongli is known to shapeshift - I hope to write some pieces soon where he briefly assimilates into other nations' cultures to get closer to them! But other than that, it's safe to say he's taken on various human forms within Liyue itself to get to know his people on a deeper, more personal level.
Bonding with the special someone: Now here's where I get a bit more self-indulgent. Eastern dragons, when they find a human they really really like, will introduce this lovely soul to their vast aforementioned collection of art. The dragon may like to share stories with this beloved person, and even calligraph new ones together. Zhongli loves telling stories of course, but just think how wonderful it would be to sit with him, brush in hand, as he tenderly guides you to create a narrative together on carefully-maintained parchment saved for this very occasion - perhaps outlining anecdotes of his, or even adventures of yours. Things he'd like to immortalize on paper. This sharing of art is a very special thing for dragons to do, so it's practically a once-in-a-millennium activity for them!
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tainbocuailnge · 1 year ago
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I think there is a difference between the comic as a sequence of images with text and the comic as a comic. it's a subtle difference that an untrained eye might not see but the more one as artist draws comics the clearer this difference becomes, because one who first aspires to draw comics will soon find they are merely drawing sequences of images with text.
when people say an artist is clearly inspired by anime they often use "anime" to refer to japanese pop culture in general, but if you look more closely you can often tell it really is specifically anime rather than manga that inspired them, because the paneling and camera angles in their comics will read like a series of anime screenshots rather than a manga page. similarly, when I was a teenager really popular manga that had anime adaptions would sometimes get "animanga" reprints where they replaced the panels with the equivalent anime screenshots of the scene, and they often looked like dogshit because the very premise showed blatant disregard for why the original comic worked in the first place. these two examples are both about anime because i am a weeb but it applies outside that context too. a cartoon storyboard can be read as if it were a comic, but what it really is is a sequence of images with text that has yet to be refined into its actual intended format.
there are many artists who only employ the medium of comic because what they actually want to draw is a video, or a video game cutscene, but the only tool actually at their disposal is the ability to draw a series of images and add text to them so that is what they use. there is no shame or mistake in doing this, you have to make your art with the tools that you have available, and if the sequence of images with text is enough to convey the idea then it was the right tool for the job. but these are different mediums with different visual languages, languages which have a lot of overlap and can occasionally be used in each other's stead to achieve similar results (especially when drawing a fanart comic of a video game for example), but which are still ultimately different. the comic and the video and the cutscene are all different forms that a sequence of images with text can take but they are far from completely interchangeable.
there is a key difference in approach to the comic as a series of images roughly interchangeable with other forms of series of images like the video and the cutscene, and the comic as specifically the comic. this difference in approach is not always necessary to achieve results, an artist who wants to convey a scenario they came up with needs only the sequence of images with text to achieve this. but the difference between a comic with good writing and art, and a comic that is a good comic, is in whether it was treated as a comic rather than a sequence of images with text. I say this as an artist whose nearly every comic has been simply a sequence of images, because I just don't have the patience to refine it into a comic when I merely want to convey my idea rather than draw a comic. it takes a particular skill and insight that have to be developed and practised separately from the ability to draw well and the ability to write well in order to become good at making "the comic" as synthesis of the two.
it's hard to specifically point out the essence of this difference between the sequence of images and the comic because it's kind of a vibes thing honestly, and it depends on where and how the comic was meant to be published too. comics meant to have paper print editions have different constraints and requirements and frameworks to work with than webtoons meant to be read on slim mobile screens in a continuous scrolling format. a good traditional comic will consider not just how each individual panel looks but also the way each page as a whole looks, and how the pages look next to each other in a spread, and how it feels to turn the page towards the next spread. a good webtoon will consider the movement of scrolling down and how this affects the transition from one moment to another in its composition. time is time in videos and cutscenes but space is time in comics, and the space your have available determines how you can divide time across it. when you make a webcomic on your own website you have no constraints but the ones you set for yourself, and sometimes this leads to things like homestuck, which would not work in any other format than the one it created for itself.
the best comics are good because they tell their story and present their images specifically in the form of a comic, in a way that would not be possible if it were not specifically a comic. I think this is true for basically every medium, I'm just thinking about comics specifically lately, because even though I don't really consider myself a comic artist - because I usually draw sequences of images rather than comics - the thing my clients want to pay for is often still "a comic", and they don't know or care to tell the difference. it's a difference that, as established, is often fairly moot anyway, because as long as it successfully conveys your idea it's good enough. but it's precisely because the sequence of images is often good enough that the specific skill of the comic artist is often overlooked.
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