#thanks to chronic fatigue

[changingplumbob]

Took it very slow this morning but the shower before lunch woke me up a bit. I worked on some SBL in the afternoon, again very slowly, and now I'm five days ahead instead of three so hooray for small wins. It is so weird when I wake up just much more tired than when I went to sleep. Like come on body, I did what I'm supposed to, would be great if you'd do the same 😂

So depending on if I am once again a zombie tomorrow or not I'm hoping to move over the writing submitted by people for BC days 16-20. I had such a blast last time and I'm sure there's more hidden gems. Making up the Google form for the next round is now on my to do list 🥳 I mean yeah got to get through cast challenge day first but I'm excited.

[chronicpaingirlie]

hi disabled people who are struggling . im really proud of you for getting up today & for continuing to live even when it’s really fucking hard . thank you for existing . i love you

[squid-socks]

“Don’t make yourself seem sicker than you are.”

How about accept the reality of my situation so it doesn’t always sound like a crazy shock to you when you hear me talk about the same issues I’ve always had. Thanks. 😑

[bigfatbreak]

warmup of the day is: here's to hoping for another year

[fella-lovin-fella]

hey if you ever feel like you're faking your pain/mental illness/any symptoms, or if you feel like no one understands or believes you. i do. i believe you. i love you and i hope you do what you can to take care of yourself <3

[geometric-bs]

"Doing your best" (with chronic illness)

My doctor (bless him) straight up went "don't" when I said "I'll do my best"

Because what I think "my best" is, is completely draining myself for this One Thing and going above and beyond

I guess this goes for people w/o chronic illness as well, but "your best" shouldn't mean you end up hurting yourself in the long run. "Your best" is as much as you are willing to devote to something proportional to how much you care about it within the confines of what is healthy for you AND considering all the other stuff you have to do

Please just- holy heck we're already struggling so much please don't devote your precious energy to something that doesn't deserve it

don't do your best, do whats best for you

[tired-cripple-punk]

Surgery is done and I’m doing fine

Already walking around and doing stuff as normally as I can, relying on a forearm crutch as my pain meds wear off

My sleep will be shitty for a couple weeks but I’m used to not sleeping well

I may not show it very well, but thank you to everyone that interacts when I post about my life and medical struggles, it means a lot to me and reminds me that I’m not alone in this crap

[spnstillstudies]

do worry i may be experiencing the early (EARLY) stages of artistic burnout and trying to put the fires out in my brain before they spread 🧯🔥

[melodymorningdew]

I love being told that the help I'm given means I owe something to the person who helped me 🙃 Like don't help me, then.

[chronicpaingirlie]

i love you paper plates i love you plastic silverware i love you ziploc bags i love you precut sheets of tin foil i love you disposable items that make my life as a disabled person more livable

[squid-socks]

As a person who can’t eat most sweet treats as they contain wheat 😭 here are my fav (fairly cheap and easy) treats in case you’re stuck:

Dates! They are sugar magic bombs. So sweet and so gooey ✨🫶 I love them with peanut butter or walnuts or pecans. They are a great way to sweeten anything!

Vegan chocolate mousse. (I’m not vegan I just try to eat more vegan dishes) coconut cream, chocolate powder and dates in a blender are delicious! And if you don’t like coconut it’s still super nice with avocado!🫶✨✨

Whipped cream, mirrangues and a tart berry sauce. The ultimate for me. It’s delicious, I can eat it and the sugar high is wonderful. This tho- is more of a special dessert due to its HUGE sugar content. ☺️

Slushies. It’s nice and lazy like jello. And all I have to know is if I can tolerate the juice I freeze. Usually I do Coke Zero or something. Bcs I find a lot of fruits give me migraines.

[thespacesay]

this disability pride month, may your care team(s) refill your prescriptions in a timely manner

[running2reanimation]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

ahem hi yes im curious pls tell me (<- from someone who knows next to nothing abt tarot cards)

Well, for Chosen One: The Magician for the references to the multiple elements, being almost the beginning (number I). Another that would suit him is of course Strength, though the implied gentleness of the card doesn’t quite fit. And if you wanted to reference the misery of what’s happened to him you could always go with The Tower, since it’s generally considered a less than good omen in a reading.

Dark Lord is The Devil, no question. A card about temptations and impulses.

Victim… a bit of a puzzle rn, since we don’t quite know the full plan. But some cards that jump out are: The Tower (misery), The Fool (the actual first card of the major arcana), Justice (isn’t that what he’s doing? Justice?) and The Hanged Man (associated with sacrifice because what was victim but a sacrifice to begin the series).

[cane-goth]

“Get well soon!”

[angelbambisworld]

I am too sexy for asthma flare ups this is bullshit

[smolandweirdwriter]

oh let me tell u i am so normal about adaine so here have a collection of some of my headcanons (that i can remember)

adaine starts dressing more "punk" in a sense because she lives with fig (totally not cause shes trying to remove herself from her goody two shoes appearance that her parents knew)

I also think this comes out of necessity as she doesnt have the money to buy new clothes if they get damaged so ends up sowing patches onto her clothes.

Adaine is the second tallest bad kid (after gorgug) at 5'11 simply because fabian is 5'10 and claims hes 6'0 (adaine is having none of it)

Adaine and tracker are still really close even after kristens breakup

She also has chronic fatigue which did not help her anxiety attacks. for most of her life she just believed she was lazy and not trying hard enough due to her parents thinking she was making excuses

Fig realizes at the beginning of Sophomore year that she really, really likes fun colors. She’s sick of all black. She wears bright red skirts and t-shirts of all colors and she smokes her cigarettes and dyes her hair and paints her nails pale pink and is uniquely, wildly, entirely herself. She doesn’t limit herself to a “rocker aesthetic”. Isn’t the whole point of rebellion to be you? 

Adaine’s style has changed so much. Partway through freshman year, she begins dressing as defiantly as possible. Whatever her parents would hate the most, Adaine wears. She borrows Fig’s clothes, which tend to be a bit too short and tight on her, but it’s all black with a leather skirt and ripped fishnets and her mother calls her a slut and her father forces her to go back to her room and change. Aelwyn mocks her for it over breakfast and Adaine stares at her food and doesn't wear fishnets or crop tops again.

(Aelwyn sneaks out that night wearing a similar outfit because she knows what her parents would say and the idea of the look on her mother's face being pointed at her is enough to terrify her to the point of nausea, and she drinks and drinks and drinks until she forgets to be afraid.)

Still, Adaine's style keeps changing. Sophomore Year it's mostly her Jacket of Useful things, t-shirts, and jeans. But as much as she hated being forced to wear the Hudol uniform, she really likes nice clothes. Junior Year she begins exploring more elven clothing: long skirts, vests with collared shirts, pleated blouses, breeches, tall boots, et cetera. She, Ayda, and Gorgug work together combining Wizardry and Artificing on her Jacket of Useful Things so that it can effectively transform into any coat/jacket/vest/etc to go with her outfit. It's perfect as her style is constantly shifting on a daily basis. 

This is just my thought on all of their heights, but here we go:

Riz is shortest, obviously. He’s actually average-height for a goblin, resting at about 3’6’’. 

Fig gives severe Tall Vibes, so much so that people forget she’s actually only 5’3’’. She wears boots that bring her up to about 5’5’’, but she’s still the second-shortest bad kid.

No one will let Fabian let down how short he is. He’s tried changing his diet, stretching, everything he can imagine—he’s still 5’4’’. It’s mortifying. Fig fits into his clothes perfectly.

Kristen has always felt somewhat ungainly, her limbs at different shapes and sizes, and she’d crash into things a lot. She’s always felt too much: too tall, too wide, too much, too much, too much. Junior Year she starts working out and begins getting comfortable with her body. Still, she’s tall, almost 5’10’’.

Adaine is quite tall, but her parents and sister are taller than her, and she’s spent her life feeling inescapably small. Her posture is good, but there’s something to the way she tilts her head, the general way she carries herself, hunching around a too-big orb and clutching books to her chest, that makes her look short and small. Sophomore Year, her confidence grows, she becomes more stable, and most importantly, she eats much more. She uncurls herself, and by the time she finds Aelwyn again, Aelwyn is horrified to see that her little sister looms over her. Adaine is 5’11.

Gorgug hunches over a lot, and it’s actually after becoming an Artificer that he gets better with his posture, because he’s sitting a lot more now and his back hurts if he hunches too much. His actual height is 6’5’’. He’s the tallest bad kid.

My personal headcanon is that Tracker also has anxiety and used to “wolf out” whenever she got overwhelmed. So she understands Adaine very well, perhaps better than anyone else. She understands the way Adaine’s anger stems from her fear, from her lack of control. Tracker helps her find the right anxiety meds and teaches her methods of working through and handling feeling overwhelmed.

When the bad kids see Nara and Tracker again in Fallinel, she introduces them all to Nara. “Ah,” Nara says as she and Adaine are introduced, and Adaine tenses for oracle, the daughter who killed Angwyn Abernant, the oracle who ran away, but what she’s met with was: “Tracker’s little sister.”

Adaine never tells Tracker how much it means. She loves Aelwyn, and Aelwyn loves her, but that love is something that has been asked for by both parties. Adaine never realized before that she shouldn't have to ask.