#teddy the mutt

[attackfish]

Darth Chomper, surrounded by Jedi. Or in other news, my dogs and my parents' dogs all got into my bed for the night, and decided my presence was optional.

Every time I have a poodle puppy, I turn into Emperor Palpatine in Return of the Jedi, and I'm all, "Yes, my young apprentice. You have grown strong. Soon your training in the dark side will be complete."

And then my young apprentice noms on my nose, because betrayal is the way of the sith.

[katiefratie]

"I'm gonna kill the invisible man then I got a lot to unpack" hahdajhhahs so close Mutt

[gotthicbimbo]

cna someone rich buy me like 5 build a bears maybe. i’m sure it will cure my mental illnesses

[princesssarisa]

My pets aren't with me anymore, but I'll share as many of the silly names I used to call them as I remember.

hang on I’m trying to see something

don’t tell me the name of your pet, just tell me in the tags the name you call them that’s got nothing to do with their actual name

[jazzdailyblog]

Buck Clayton: The Swinging Trumpet Behind the Kansas City Sound

Introduction: Known for his warm tone, elegant phrasing, and ability to blend seamlessly with other musicians, Buck Clayton is one of the unsung heroes of the jazz trumpet. As a key member of the Count Basie Orchestra and a defining force in the Kansas City jazz scene, Clayton’s contributions to swing, his compositional talents, and his engaging soloing style left a lasting imprint on jazz.…

[kechiwrites]

return of medic!reader x simon, birthday shenanigans + jealousy?

You gasp, and it annoys him more than it should. Probably because you’re always telling him to shut up when he’s in the med bay with you. It’s the fifth gift today, and you’d think the shine of them would’ve worn off by now. Gaz snuck in quietly before either of you had noticed him, brandishing his own offering for "everyone's favourite medic". A pair of moon-eyed recruits bearing chocolates and a card signed by most of the base. McTavish, the mutt, brought you flowers, in a vase, fucking ridiculous, bold, bright sunflowers that light the entire infirmary up.

“‘s cause you’re always wearing yellow.” He’d shrugged, and the smirk he levelled Ghost with begged for a fist.

The rapidly growing pile of presents is an eyesore. They’re giving him fucking heartburn. It certainly didn’t help when you hinted the Scot was your “favourite patient”.

Horseshit.

“Simon.” You murmur, turning to lovingly place Gaz's teddy bear in nurse’s scrubs next to the other tributes, patting its little head before levelling your stare at him. “You’ve been here all day. I get that you’re attached to me-” he snorts derisively at that, as if it’s a joke, as if it’s not true.

“But,” you push on, eyebrow sky high on your all too lovely face, “don’t you have work to do? Paperwork? Bullying recruits? Getting shot or something?” You purse your lips and Ghost stands from the examination bed he’d been sitting on to crowd close and kiss you, soft connections of his lips to yours.

“You are haunting triage, Ghostie.” you warble between pecks.

“Never that.” He mumbles tiredly against your mouth, lets his head hang down so you can slip your fingers under the back of his mask, scratch at his nape with your nails so good his leg nearly starts twitching.

When he can finally bring himself to withdraw, he makes sure to knock Nurse Teddy to the floor.

“Simon!” You scramble away from him, bending low to collect the stuffed toy off the ground, worried about dirt collecting in the plush’s fur. It provides the Lieutenant ample time to advance on you, to keep a hand on the small of your back and press against the curve of your ass, only two layers of fabric away from being totally exposed.

He might be developing a thing.

[vixstarria]

Mark me as yours

This takes place immediately after and is interlinked with 'Missionary with the lights off' but from Astarion's rather than Tav's POV - check it out if you haven't already, the fics complement each other.

Soft sassy Astarion, F!Tav, Gale, minor appearances by other origin characters, Astarion POV

Fluff, humour, banter, pining, non-explicit sexual references

A day in camp in the life of Astarion. Features brooding, sewing, doing laundry, being dramatic, engaging in improper use of archmage of Waterdeep, reading erotica, and more!

Approx. 2,000 words

AO3

You frowned at the stuffed bear you held in your hands, weighing up your desire to showcase your skills against the absurdity of the task at hand.  

The whole thing was coming apart and needed to be washed and restuffed if you were to do this properly. What was inside, anyway? Fur..? You supposed you could go hunt something furry. Or maybe save yourself the time and just give Scratch a quick partial shave, he wouldn’t mind – the mutt lying at your feet was stupid enough to like you. To prefer you over anyone else, in fact.  

You reached down to give him a fond, absentminded pet.  

And then there was the matter of not letting it burn to a crisp the moment Karlach touched it. 

“Is there a flame ward enchantment on this..? Can you reapply it?” you asked Gale, who was nearby at his usual spot by the fire, concocting something edible for the rest of your group. 

“There is and I sure can,” he replied.  

Great. You had gotten yourself into a group project with the wizard to rescue a teddy bear.  

“Don’t tell me this is what Wyll was so concerned about earlier...” Tav had finally made it out of your tent and sat down next to you, looking somewhat less disheveled than how you’d left her.  

“The bag of holding finally tore. Naturally I was the only one competent enough to fix it.” 

You gestured with your thumb towards a towering pile of assorted crap that Wyll and Lae’zel were still sifting through: Lae’zel inspecting and setting aside any weapons and armour she deemed worth keeping, and Wyll sorting through an array of scrolls and potions no one was ever going to use, or would forget were in your possession if the need for them ever did arise.  

“Darling, this is your fault, you know,” you added. “Must you pick up everything?” 

“Karlach made me do it. Also I don’t know what you’re talking about, I am prudence and sensibility personified,” she said. 

“You’re uh... You’re also bleeding,” Gale said, pointing at her neck. 

A trail of blood had started running down from the puncture wounds, which must have reopened.  

Shit. 

Before you could reason yourself out of it, your instincts kicked in and you pressed your mouth against her neck, licking the blood off. By the gods, she actually leaned into you as you did that, not away. You glimpsed a guilty, sheepish smile she threw at Gale, as you pulled away.  

“Idiot... Here, apply pressure, I’ll get the amulet,” you said. 

“I’m the idiot?! You’re the one who ran off to resolve a sewing emergency, like a good little seamstress, before sorting me out!” 

You strode over to your tent, in part to grab the amulet of Silvanus, in part to discreetly tuck away the erection that had immediately started developing as soon as you tasted her blood.  

Hells, am I 239 or 15? you thought, annoyed with yourself.  

“An amulet? I was wondering why you’d stopped visiting me in the mornings...” you heard from Shadowheart. 

“We have a system,” Tav replied.  

“Clearly,” laughed Shadowheart. 

A scene from the night sprung up in your mind as you went about your day: 

She’d fallen asleep on your shoulder, half lying on you, her nose buried in your neck.  

It was... nice. Really nice. And you didn’t think this bizarre scenario would ever happen again.  

And yet, pleasant as it was, she still felt too far. You needed to feel her closer. Perhaps you were being greedy, but after all these years, why should you get anything less than exactly what you wanted? 

Carefully, very carefully lest she stir awake and leave, you rolled over onto your side, holding her against you.

She was still asleep. Good...   

You cautiously slipped lower and lower until your head was at her chest, delicately wrapping your arms around her torso. 

Then she stirred.  

Shit. 

Without waking, she sighed, drawing you into a tight embrace, clutching you against her chest, complete with throwing a leg over your hips to pull you even closer. 

You finally relaxed, your arms wrapped around her waist. 

Perfect... 

She felt so warm... She smelled of comfort. 

You could indulge in this for the night. You would wake up before she did anyway.  

You drifted away, lulled by the beating of her heart. 

You didn’t have any nightmares that night.  

“Is your boyfriend coming?” you heard Karlach somewhere in the distance.  

You cringed at the juvenile term. Still, you were curious how she would answer.  

“He’s on laundry duty,” she responded. “Just us gals today.” 

“So your idea of doing washing is to pawn everything off to me,” said Gale. 

“Vampires and running water, remember,” you said. “Also you don’t look like you’re exerting an awfully large amount of effort yourself... Although I must admit, this is ingenious.” A little flattery wouldn’t hurt.

Gale sat at a riverbank at a deeper section of the river. Some sheets and clothing were being tossed and spun in a small bubbling whirlpool within the water, together with foaming slivers of soap. 

“Surely few archmages possess such finesse and creativity?” you continued. 

Gale sighed and motioned for you to throw your bundle in as well, expanding the whirlpool.  

“Just toss your shirt in too, it's splattered with blood,” Gale added wearily.  

Her scent lingered on it. The last thing you wanted was to wash it off.

You pulled the shirt over your head and hurled it into the whirlpool.  

“Not Tav’s creative nailwork, I presume..?” Gale asked with a wince, looking at your back.  

“Nope” was all you said, as you pulled a book out from your pocket, making yourself comfortable on the bank. To his credit, the wizard did not probe further. 

‘Mark me as yours’ 

Those words had been echoing in your mind over and over all day.  

It couldn’t have meant anything.  

A little expression of some vampire fetishism finally poking through – you shouldn’t have expected any different from her, she did offer you her blood consistently, not even asking for anything in return.  

Still, you’d felt like something inside you might burst from your desire and thrill when you heard those words.   

And then everything that followed after... 

You had actually lost yourself for a short while. Not dissociated and detached. Lost yourself. In bliss. In the scent of her skin, in the sounds of her need for you, in the sensation of her blood merging with yours and flowing through your veins. 

And now she was walking around somewhere, with telltale bitemarks on her neck for all the world to see. Scandalous... 

No, it couldn’t have meant anything.  

‘Mark me as yours’ 

Still... What a pleasant little fantasy... 

‘Yours’ 

“You’ve been smiling at that page for ten minutes straight now,” Gale’s voice snapped you out of your musings.  

“It’s my favourite page,” you retorted. 

“What’s it about?” he asked snidely after a short pause.  

“I have no idea,” you confessed, begrudgingly, snapping the book shut. If the wizard knew what was best for him, he would abstain from any further comments.  

“She’s quite fond of you,” Gale said sombrely after another pause.  

“Is this about to turn into one of those ‘You break her heart – I'll break your face’ talks?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“Oh gods no,” Gale laughed. "No, I would go straight to incineration... You just strike me as the type that needs to have the obvious spelled out for them.” 

“I am not entering this type of discourse with someone who’s presently washing my spend off my bed sheets,” you said, laying back and shutting your eyes, to bask in the sun. No answer followed. 

Not even a minute had passed when a shadow fell over you.  

Odd, you thought. There hadn’t been a single cloud in the sky. 

You opened your eyes to see a giant water bubble hovering a few meters above you. Was that... a bedsheet floating in the middle..? 

Worth it, you thought just as the undulating bubble spilt and crashed over you.  

You coughed and spat, trying to untangle yourself from the sheet, as the unleashed torrent nearly swept you off the bank. And yet, above all else, you found yourself curious. 

The water had no longer been running as part of the river, true, but given its sheer volume and the velocity at which it hit you, it should have hurt more than merely your pride.  

You made it to the edge of the bank, and cautiously dipped a finger in.

Nothing...

You proceeded to submerge your hand, then your entire forearm, to your elbow. 

Nothing.  

Of all things... Why this? Why not your reflection? Why not the blood craving? Oh well. Beggars, choosers... 

You were laughing.  

“This tadpole,” you turned and shouted at Gale, unabashedly stripping yourself of your pants, as Gale turned away, muttering something about going blind, “is the best thing that’s happened to me in centuries!” 

The best? Maybe second best? It had some tight competition, but you supposed nothing would have been possible without it, so it reigned supreme. 

You leaped into the river, diving and letting the gentle current carry you downstream for a while.  

You knew what you would be doing later that evening with her.  

“What have you got there?”  

She slid onto your lap like a cat that refused to take ‘no’ for an answer as it sought attention. You had been idling away your time by your tent, with some pulp you had picked up earlier. The rest of the group had been drinking and roasting something at the campfire.  

“Trash. Disappointingly boring trash, this time,” you answered. 

“No pulsating flesh tunnels in this one?” 

“Alas... There were not one but two mentions of ‘velvet-wrapped steel’ however, and plenty of ‘sword-sheathing’.” 

“To the hilt?” 

“Is there any other way?” 

“Wouldn’t want to sheathe it only partially, I suppose...” she mused. “Come join us. We found some half-decent wine. And you don’t have to be alone all the time, you know.” 

“Spare me, I’ve had enough of Gale’s lectures and Wyll’s tales for the day. And besides, ugh, all those chewing noises!” You made a gagging sound. 

None of them want me there. 

“Oh don’t be such a delicate princess,” she rolled her eyes. “How’s this: it’s our joint meal time. It would be rude and completely unfair to exclude anyone. You should sit down with everyone, bite down on my wrist and make a great deal of slurping.” 

“You can’t be serious.” 

Delightful. Simply delightful. 

“It will be funny!” 

“I fear you might be the only one laughing, darling.” 

That is hilarious, I can just imagine Gale squealing or getting sick. 

“Is there anyone else you’d care to make laugh?” she asked with a slight upturn of her lips. 

Not in the least. 

“I could die again knowing I have accomplished something if I ever make Lae’zel laugh. But perish the thought – I am perfectly happy right here with my literature.” 

“Well, if you don’t want to join the group, perhaps I will stay and you can...” She snatched the book from your hands and tossed it aside, leaning in and bringing her lips up to your ear. “...Release your kraken in my field of rose petals,” she purred in a sultry voice. 

“Stop,” you choked back a snicker.  

“Get tangled up in my beef curtains?” she continued with the same tone. 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“Sink your meat shaft in my cream tart!” she persevered.  

“By the gods, woman, I am never having sex with your again.” 

“Suckle the nectar from my weeping core!” 

“Alright, fine, I’ll go, anything is better than this.” You got up, pushing her off your lap. 

“Taste my forbidden, oozing fruit, Astarion!” she cried out from the ground behind you as you covered your ears and shouted “LALALALA”, making your way towards the campfire. 

You would endure the prattle of your companions.  

Then you would take her for a moonlit swim in the river.  

Then you would see if she might spend the whole night in your arms again.  

Perhaps she could sleep in your shirt and leave her scent on it again – it was foolish to sleep completely in the nude out in the wild after all, what if there were intruders? 

Everything was going according to plan, you reminded yourself.  

~~~~~

Next in series - Down by the river

Series master list

AO3

Tags: @littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny

Also @spacebarbarianweird - you haven't asked for a tag but sounded interested

[konigsblog]

Okay, but what do we think about Stalker!Price?!

cw: stalking, panty stealing/sniffing, perv!price, stalker!price, recording. dead dove: do not eat. 👀

oh, stalker-price... :( he's your captain, and knows he shouldn't follow you around on your leave, but he just has to make sure you're safe and sound, that nothing is bothering you, that's all !! ...just don't pay attention to his stuffed pockets, with lace panties hanging out of them...

stalker-price will record you, especially when you're showering. he'll break into your apartment and sneak a camera behind the curtain, getting a beautiful view of your bare, soapy ass. it's perfect material to jerk off to, although, sometimes he'll check the camera hidden in the teddy bear he bought you, seeing you hump it like a dirty mutt.

of course, it's wrong for him to follow you around, even on dates. but, he means no harm, just making sure you're safe, while threatening your date to fuck off and to never contact you again. ;3

[ghostlyangels1204]

Simon would make a good dog dad- that's it, that's where my mind is rn <3

“Absolutely not”.

Price was full of shit. That much he knew. And with this new bright idea, Simon’s new concern had been confirmed. His Captain had absolutely gone mad. One too many bumps on the head, he reasoned, had dealt too much damage- pair that with his ‘old age’, and Simon considers sending him to a care home.

There was no doubt in his mind- he was not having a slobbering, shitting furry nuisance by his side 24/7. What the hell was Price thinking? “I don’t need no’ furry mongrel. I’m a soldier not a dog walker Cap’.”, “The K9 handler’s wife just gave birth- fella needs time off, so I thought, why not give her to the softest soldier I know?” He knew Price was pulling his leg. “Just give it a week, eh Si? Seven days and if you want rid of her, she’s gone and some other poor sod can have her to cuddle at night.”

He stares down at the puppy, no more than a few months old, who is happily chomping down on the laces of the captain’s boots. Looking up, he meets the eyes of Price, “If it shits in my boots once, I’m handing it to you personally.”

The first few days went as expected, Simon wanted to die.

4am scratching at the door to go potty. Stealing his boxers when he needed to get dressed, (Johnny took extra entertainment at that one- even forming an alliance with the puppy to hide his clothes from him during his shower- he got two weeks of cleaning the barracks for that one), and she seemed to have a special fixation on everyone’s shoe laces, nipping and tugging at the cotton until blood flow was cut-off from them being wound too tight. He wasn’t made for the level of patience required. Sure, he had to deal with new recruits daily- their brazen, ‘-I-know-it-all’ attitudes that would someday get them killed… but shouting at them would result in at least a modicum of change.

That result cannot happen as easily with dogs.

But Price began to notice a shift. The team sat down for dinner, exhausted after a hell of a long day of drills. One person was missing from the table, however, Simon. They reasoned that he must be showering or something. But when he enters the mess hall, they notice the ‘small sergeant’ by his side- head bopping up and down as she patters next to her foster handler. He sits down with a huff, and she dives down under the table, spinning in circles before curling up next to Simon’s feet. She rests her head on the toe of his boots before closing her eyes.

“She needed a run around- little mutts’ wound up. Won’t sleep tonight if I don’t tire her out…”

The rest of the men smirk to themselves- Price always knew to trust his intuition.

And when day seven came around, Simon didn’t mention anything. Price knew he never forgets anything, so he was actively avoiding it. Avoiding having to admit he maybe, just maybe… liked having her around. He knocks twice on his office door, a gruff, “come in” allowing him to enter the Lieutenant’s space. Price does a quick scan of the room, eyes landing on the prize.

She’s cuddled up on a bed Simon had ordered for her, the pastel pink standing out like a sore thumb in Simon’s dull, grey office. The bed is nicer than his own, two blankets decked out with floral patterns covering the pillowy surface, a small teddy bear tucked under her chin as she sleeps the evening away.

One look is all Price needs, his eyes plead both, “Don’t even start,” with, “Please don’t make me give her up.”

“Made a friend?” Price teases, opting for a softer approach. He has no intent of taking her away, just wants his soldier to admit, that maybe he in fact, was wrong.

 “Like you wouldn’t believe…”

Word Count: 662

[puppyslutposting]

"Yeah of course I can be trusted to house-sit for you while you're on your business trip! :3"

I watch you pull out of the driveway, waving to you from the porch. As soon as your car is completely out of sight, I bolt inside and upstairs to your room. Now that I'm finally alone, I can go full puppy mode. And I already know just what I want to do... After all, I've had the biggest crush on you for a long time now. We're constantly flirting and teasing each other when we hang out, but neither of us has the courage to take it further. You know about all of my kinks, and you constantly tease me about them. You've even called me "good boy" before, which got me so wet I had to excuse myself. All of this sexual tension has been really getting to me, and I know exactly how to let off some steam...

I walk over to your dirty clothes hamper. There's a black sweatshirt haphazardly draped over the rim. I snatch it up and immediately put it up to my face, inhaling deeply. "Fuck..." I think to myself. "It smells just like them. I want them so badly. I NEED them, and they don't even know it. I just wish they would fuck me..." As I hold the cloth up to my face and sniff it lustfully, I slip a hand down my pants. I can feel I'm already pretty damn wet just from your smell, and realizing my own desperation only makes me hornier.

I throw the sweatshirt onto your bed and start stripping, throwing my clothes wherever with little regard. Once I'm fully nude, I take a second to just explore my body with my hands. I feel up my breasts and nipples, my hips, my face, and my thighs, taking note of how sensitive I am. Every touch leaves me desiring more, until I can't take it and I crawl into your bed.

I don't fully have a plan at this point, I just know I need to masturbate. Specifically while inhaling your addictive scent. I lay on my back and grab your sweatshirt once again, throwing it over my face. Then, I spread my legs open and start rubbing myself. My needy t-dick twitches wildly between my pointer and middle finger as I slide them up and down my wet vulva. I moan helplessly as your scent drives me into a heat, making more sensitive and needy than I've ever been before. Rubbing isn't enough anymore, I feel like I need to fuck you. I look around, desperate for something to slide my t-dick on, and then I spot it. The teddy bear I gave you for your birthday last year, sitting up in bed between your pillows. Under normal circumstances, I would have been absolutely flattered that you kept it in bed with you all this time, but in my current state I don't even consider it. I snatch it up and roll on top of it, mounting it like the horny mutt I am.

It's been about 30 minutes at this point. I'm a sweaty, panting, drooling mess. My face is shoved into your musky shirt and Im gripping the plush tight while I rut against it needily. I'm so focused on trying to cum, that I don't even hear my phone buzzing. I'm completely in a trance, my entire mind and body only wanting a release. I don't hear the car pull up in the driveway, or the front door opening, or your footsteps coming up the stairs. Only once you come into the room and start talking do I snap out of my trance.

"Hey, sorry, I forgot my-" Your words are cut short. You're shocked by what you're seeing, but you can't look away. My eyes grow wide and my face goes bright red with embarrassment as I try to cover my exposed parts. I stammer over my words, trying to cough up an explanation, but even I know there's no way out of this. I gulp nervously.

You feel your pants getting tight. You know you should be upset, but you can't help but to find it incredibly arousing that I would be so horny just by your smell alone that I would do something like this. But you're also so glad that there's finally a reason to break the sexual tension between us, and you can't help but to smirk mischievously. This is just too perfect.

"I think I'm going to have to teach you a lesson for this, mutt.~ You're such a bad puppy... Present your pussy to me. Now." You say, slipping off your tie and starting to undress. Your mischievous grin grows more and more as you think about all of the perverted things you'll be able to do to me now that you have me right where you want me.

Braindead and desperate for your touch, I immediately obey. After all, good boys do as they're told...~

[beenbaanbuun]

darling being left alone with yeosang for a long period while addams!matz has to leave for a few days (business or what have you)

yeosang dreads that shit as soon as they tell him. he KNOWS darling is gonna test his resolve and he KNOWS how it's gonna go, but darling's just so excited to stay with him, and hongjoong makes some passing joke about yeosang being the "guard dog"

so now he's like "well someone has to :|" but his tail is wagging anyway

oh this is adorable and i need to talk about it!!

okay, so the only two people taking it well would be san—he gets to go with matz as a chauffeur and is thanking the gods that he doesn’t have to be alone in the house with darling and yeosang for 2 days—and darling herself. whilst she isn’t necessarily happy about her precious mommy and daddy abandoning her for a couple of days (hongjoong’s dramatics are really rubbing off on her) she’s also well aware of her own capability. sure, she hasn’t had to take care of herself in a while, but it’s not like she’s forgotten how to cook and wash her own hair, right? she’ll be fine! and it’s not like she’ll be alone…

but yeosang is very much planning on her being alone for most of the two days. with no hongjoong or seonghwa there to distract her, all the attention will be on him. it’s fine for an hour or two, but a whole two days? he’ll barricade his bedroom door if he has to!

“you’ll take care of her, right?” the usually strong and dependable seonghwa asks yeosang with a shaky voice, and the wolf realises that perhaps he’ll have to spend more time with you that he initially planned on. that’s if he doesn’t want to get punished when you inevitably tell on him for ignoring you. with a tight smile he pulls darling into his side and nods. his tail flicks a little when she nuzzles into neck with a grin.

“of course he will, cara mia,” hongjoong mutters with danger in his voice. yeosang takes it for what it is, a warning—protect their darling or face the consequences. yeosang mentally resigns himself to being darling’s personal teddy bear for the next couple of days, and all his hopes of peace and quiet melt away before his eyes. “i’m sure the guard dog will keep her safe, won’t you, mutt?”

“someone has to, right?” darling just curls further into the wolf’s side and the tell-tale thudding on his tail beating against the ground gives up the game. he cant exactly pretend not to be at least a little excited when his tail is thumping against the floor like a drum beat. “the poor thing has been overly spoiled by the pair of you! you can’t expect her to look after herself, can you?”

and again, darling can look after herself and everyone in the room knows that. it doesn’t stop the knowing smile that gets passed around, though; she can look after herself, but she’d much rather leave that responsibility up to the men that she has wrapped around her pretty little finger. life’s so much simpler when all she has to worry about is being doted on…

[pinkthrone445]

-Let it burn to the ground- Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender:fluf, Mel being soft, soft, love, hurt

Warnings:Mention about past trauma, fires, injuries, insults

Summary:Melissa lets the fire of love consume her when she meets the new chief of the fire station, but happiness can't last forever, specially if you are insecure.

Well, that was awkward. That's how it felt to have to go downstairs to go to the movies with your family. Your little boy was excitedly waiting for you, jumping up and down, while your sisters and mother gave you that "we know what you were doing" look, especially when they looked at how red your neck was from the recent mark the redhead had made on you.

While no one said anything, your family definitely found out that you were dating the elementary school teacher and that you were definitely having sex together.

That was the first time Mel knew your house, and from that day forward, it was common for you to spend time together there or at her house. Even Chris had grown accustomed to having her around.

You especially loved to listen to the things they talked about when they thought you weren't listening, you didn't know if it was because how easy it was for Mel to be with kids, but your son loved being with her and that was rare to happen.

After school you had invited Mel home to spend some time together, so your son was very excited, he loved that she was there

-"Mel, Mel, Mel!" - Your child was jumping up and down as he pulled the redhead's hand to take her to his room and show her everything he had there

-"Chris be gentle! Mel is tired after work and you are being rough" - You commented, leaving the bags and coats in their places while you listened as the redhead laughed

-"Yes mama!" - The little guy answered and started gathering things in the room to show her - "This is my favorite book, and this is my favorite teddy bear, and this is my favorite pillow, and this is my favorite night lamp, and this my favorite car, and my favorite pair of socks because they are very lucky and help my win at games, this is my favorite block of cheese, and my favorite doll, and my favorite ball..."-You could hear them chatting as you walked up the stairs

-"And do you have a favorite jacket? I have one and is blue" - Mel continued the conversation and you stared from the door at the interaction. Your child picked up a hulk jacket and put it on smiling

-"This is mine!" - Your son jumped up and down making Mel laugh-"We should wear our favorite jackets for school tomorrow!" - He commented excitedly and Mel smiled tenderly

-"I would love that" - The redhead comment and you smiled

-"Baby you have to do your homework, come on" - You commented from the door and he sighed sadly

-"But I want to be with Mel..."-He whispered with sad eyes

-"What if while you do your homework, I make you something nice to eat and then we watch your favorite show together?"- Mel offered, and your son nodded, smiling, running into the living room for his backpack.

You stared at the redhead smiling and gave her a short kiss on her lips

-"Thank you" - You whispered and went down to the kitchen with her.

While Mel cooked, you helped your son with his homework. An amazing aroma started coming out of the kitchen after a few moments, and by the time you two finished homework, the food was ready.

Your child put away his school stuff and sat down on the carpet excited to see the plate of pasta that Mel was placing in front of him

-"Thank you Mel!" - He commented excitedly and his little eyes sparkled when he saw you put his favorite cartoon on the TV, Bluey. You usually wouldn't let him watch TV at lunchtime, but you both promised cartoons if he did his homework.

When you tasted your dish, you couldn't help let out a soft moan because of how delicious it was, with a smile you rested your hand on the redhead's knee squeezing gently

-"You and your amazing hands" - You muttered with your mouth full and she blushed softly at your comment looking you intensely in the eyes

-"Mel!" - Your son screamed, bringing the redhead's mind back to reality

-"Yes kiddo?"- The older one asked, looking away from you to him as your hand remained on her knee

-"I want a sister, like Bluey has a sister, but mom told me she can't have kids if she is alone" - Your son commented, looking attentively at the eldest - "Now that you are home more often with us, would you have a baby with my mom so I have someone to play?" - You knew your son's question was one of pure innocence, but you couldn't help but choke with the food as you listened to him

-"Chris..."-You said between some coughs because you were choking a little, Mel took your hand smiling and decided to answer giving you time to calm down

-"Chris...Those things take some time and some work... But in the meantime I'll be your friend to play with, I'll come every time you need and want and I'll even play with at school if you want, would you like that?" - The redhead responded, handling the situation surprisingly well

-"Yes... But promise you would think about it too?" - Your son whispered and you nodded a little less nervously, caressing the redhead's hand-"Thank you" - Your child, happy with the answer, went back to watching his cartoons.

After finishing the meal and putting on his pajamas, the two of you took your son to bed

-"Mom, can we read a story?"-Your child asked, and you nodded-"I would like the the little alien one please... And I want Mel to read my story if she can" - He whispered a little embarrassedly and you looked at Mel and she nodded looking for the book on the shelf. The redhead read him the story doing every voice and interpretation of the characters. Even when your child had fallen asleep hugging his teddy bear, she continued reading until she finished it. Then you kissed the little boy's forehead and she snuggled him with the blankets.

Silently, the two of you walked out of the room holding hands and pulled the door of the room slightly closed.

-"I'll go home before it gets more late" - The redhead whispered and came over to kiss you, but you gently shook your head

-"You don't want to stay overnight?..."-You asked and she looked at you confused, she had never stayed at your house when Chris was there

-"But Chris..."-She whispered and you smiled hugging her waist

-"He is not dumb... He knows we are more than friends even if you don't sleep here..."-You whispered and she smiled looking at your lips, trying not to let you notice the feeling of butterflies in her stomach

-"And if we are not friends, what are we?" - she whispered close to your lips and you smiled

-"Nothing yet..."-You muttered, and the redhead's smile disappeared-"But I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be my girlfriend while we cuddle in bed" - You whispered and gave her a little kiss making her laugh

-"Yes... I would love that, I would love the cuddles and I would love to be your girlfriend" - She murmured and you laughed lifting her up and hugging her, she immediately wrapped her legs around your hip, and then kissed you gently while you went to the room.

You got used to her presence and so did your son, Mel filled a very big void that you hadn't noticed was there. Honestly, she gave you everything you didn't know was missing and needed.

You thought she would be the new love of your life because of how perfect everything was and how perfect she was with your son, you had even been thinking about proposing to live together, but it all fell apart on one fateful day...

After 5 months dating the redhead, a very difficult date arrived for you, it was the 3rd anniversary of your husband's death and to make everything more complicated, the state decided to hold a party on his honor to raise funds for the fire station.

It was already difficult to remember him all the time and have to live with his absence, but this party was like being at the cemetery to bury him all over again, everyone would tell you how sorry they were for your loss, how they missed him, how excellent he was as a person and as a firefighter and blah blah blah, you didn't wanted to go through that again.

Even though you didn't want to go, the state insisted, and they forced you to give a speech on his honor, thank heavens Mel agreed to go with you to help you get through the night and to help you take care of Chris. You didn't know if you would have endured it all alone.

A sigh left your lips when you saw your reflection in the mirror, you were wearing a blue ball gown and you looked amazing, as the dress reached the floor and you had heels it made you look taller and refined. But as much as you looked amazing, you felt very sad and tired, you had been crying a lot the night before

A pair of arms hugged your waist and you could see in the reflection the redhead smiling at you and resting her chin on your shoulder, you smiled faintly at her

-"You look amazing..."-she whispered softly

-"Look who is talking, that dress is perfect, like you"-You answered and she hugged you tighter, even though you were smiling, she could see the sadness in your eyes

-"Mama! Let's goo, I'm ready and I'm hungry!" - Your son screamed with excitement entering your room, he didn't really understand what the party was for, the only thing that excited him was knowing that there would be food.

Once Melissa, your son, and you arrived at the party, the noise of the music and the amount of people immediately overwhelmed you, contributing to your nerves and sadness. You wouldn't let go of your son's hand and Mel wouldn't let go of yours. The number of reporters and photographers surprised you and made you more nervous.

Once everyone mingle and ate, it was your turn to speak, which you didn't want to do it but you had to.

Chris sat at the table with Mel as he ate fruit that the redhead had dipped in chocolate for him.

With trembling steps you went up to the stage and took the microphone that the presenter handed you. One of the reasons you didn't want to give the speech is because you knew that nothing you would say would be enough to honor his memory. Your heart was beating so fast and hard, so much so that you could almost hear it in your own ears. A thousand eyes were on you, anxiously awaiting your words in honor of your husband. When you brought the microphone to your mouth, everything you had planned to say was erased from your memory, so you decided to improvise and speak honestly

-"Good evening everyone... Thank you for being here tonight and for your generous donations to the fire department, also thank you for dressing so nicely to honor this special occasion... Many know that only an occasion like this can make me dress this fancy "-You joked and heard some laughs-" While this night is prepared for us to enjoy, it is also a night of honoring the memory of my husband, and not only him, but all of our fallen comrades... Many of us here know how hard this work really is, how hard the losses of our co-workers or our partners are and how hard is to lose people that we couldn't save... We know it's a sacrificial work, but we also know that it's a rewarding work when we manage to save a family or reunite someone that the person though they had lost... Unfortunately, sometimes we only can exchange the life of a colleague of ours to save a person's... In this speech, I was supposed to talk about what my husband was like... Everyone here or most got to know how funny and brave, how strong and how empathetic he was to others. But it was one thing to know him as a co-worker and another as a husband and father. I had the opportunity, the privilege to get to know him in every aspect of his life and to spend the most important moments of live by his side...- Mel watched the way you spoke, how your eyes sparkled and a tender smile threatened to peek in while you talk-"I remember the first time I saw him in the academy, the skinniest of all the people there, but that never slow him down, he became the best of us... I remember our first hard call together, he was never afraid to help others, he was the first one to offer to help... I remember when we got married, he looked for all the people we saved together to be there to throw rice at us... I remember when he found out he was going to be a father, I never saw someone crying so much out of happiness... I remember seeing him being the strongest even when he felt week... He took care of us, not just me, the whole station like it was his real family... I remember the many times he save our life's talking tough decisions and I specially remembered the time he saved my life even if that cost his... I remember him every day and I feel the void he left behind every second, a void so big that I still doubt if some day I'll complete again... So please, let's raise our cups in honor of him and all the firefighters that save our lives every day, and in honor of all the families that support us in our jobs, even with the fear of loosing the ones they love... Thank you for honor their memories and thank you all again for coming..."-You ended your speech with a lump in your throat and wanting to cry, as you came down from the stage a round of applause was heard throughout the room, even though you felt it far behind for how overwhelming everything was.

Mel listened intently throughout your speech and even clapped her hands when you came off the stage, but she couldn't help the stomachache that caused her to hear you talk about him like that.

As you came off the stage your son ran into your arms and you picked him up hugging him to calm down, the redhead kissed your cheek softly

-"I'll go for some drinks" - she whispered and you nodded. As she walked, she felt worse and worse remembering every word you'd said, the love in your eyes...

-"Ohhh... Look who is here..."-Captain Rob, Melissa's Former Lover, spoke standing next to her, the smell of alcohol could be felt in him, the redhead rolled her eyes looking at him. She was about to answer him in a rude way when at the corner of her eye she saw how a girl hugged you tight and attached you to her body, her hand was dangerously close to your lower back. Melissa knew that what was happening to her before was just jealousy because of how you talked about your husband, but it wasn't justified to feel jealous of a dead person, but when she saw how that woman hugged you, it was the perfect opportunity to fight over jealousy...

Melissa hugged Rob with great affection, especially when she saw how you stopped talking to the woman and approached her. Rob, drunk as he was, took the opportunity to contour the redhead's body with his hands and she let him.

Your face became completely serious when you watched the scene, you politely asked one of your coworkers if she could take care of your son for a few seconds, and walked up to the redhead raising an eyebrow

-"Am I interrupting?" - You commented in a serious voice looking at the two of them, the redhead turned around leaving her back close to him but looking at you

-"Yes, as always" - He said but you kept your eyes on her

-"Not at all... We were just saying hi..."-Mel replied and you crossed your arms, disgusted to see his hands on her waist

-"Hi? That looks like a lot more..."-You responded gritting your teeth

-"It was the same way that you said hi to that girl a few minutes ago..."-Melissa replied annoyed. In truth, the jealousy that your husband caused her was present from day one and by not saying anything about it, it had grown and damaged her inside, and now she was using any stupid reason to make a huge fuss and fight with you

-"She just hug me... His hands were almost in your ass...and you were letting him..." - You responded trying not to raise your voice

-"Her hands were almost in your ass too! And you seemed to be enjoying it..."-The redhead moved away from him a little to face you

-"What the hell are you talking about?! What the hell is going on?" - You asked with a frown

-"You! That's what is going on, you and your stupid obsession with your husband, he is dead! It's time to face it!" - Melissa's words came out of her mouth before she could slow them down or process them, she immediately covered her mouth with her hands. And there it was after many months together, that cold stare again, that was always for everyone one, but never to her... But now, was for her, and she could only blame herself.

-"Oh wow... You could have said that any day, but you had to choose the day of his death anniversary to say it, knowing how hard this day it is for me... And for your information, the girl that hugged me was my ex sister in law, one of the only people here that really understands me right now"-Mel wanted to go back in time when she heard you say that-"Please get out of here... And I know you got here with me, but leave, tell him to take you home or take an Uber, I don't fucking care..."-You responded in the most serious way possible, you seemed like a machine without feelings even though inside you were falling apart

-"But..."-She tried to talk but you interrupted her

-"You know what? You better stay here, dance and go fuck each other in some dark corner, I don't fucking care... I'm the one going home, I hope to never see you again Melissa" - You muttered spitting venom and turned to go get your son and leave the redhead and the party behind.

[pupsmailbox]

DOG︰WOLF ID PACK

NAMES ⌇ ace. affen. affie. aidi. airendale. akita. aksaray. alano. alex. alfie. amarok. amaruq. annie. apollo. archie. arianell. aries. armant. artemis. artois. ash. asher. aurora. badulf. bailey. bandit. barbet. bardou. barkley. basenji. bear. beau. bella. beowulf. biewer. blue. bluey. bolt. boris. boxer. brad. brenard. brittany. brutus. bud. buddie. buddy. buster. buttercup. buzz. cailean. cain. cairn. caleb. canaan. cane. canid. canis. carlo. carol. catellus. celeste. charles. charlie. chase. chewie. chip. cliff. clifford. coco. collie. conall. conan. conell. cooper. daciana. daisy. dale. darwin. dash. daxie. dexter. diana. dire. dixie. duke. dylan. echo. emory. eros. eskie. ester. fang. fenrir. fido. finn. ford. fox. frankie. ghan. glen. gold. gordon. gray. grey. griffon. grim. grimmwolf. hamilton. harley. havana. hero. hound. howl. hunter. indie. indy. jack. joey. kai. kaleb. kalev. kelpie. ken. kerry. kibble. kibs. kit. lady. leo. leon. llewelyn. lola. lowell. lucine. lucy. luna. lupin. lyall. lyca. lycro. lycus. mace. maisie. mal. malinois. marley. max. mia. miles. milo. mingan. mob. molly. mudd. mutt. nala. night. noire. noiresse. noirette. nova. nugget. nyx. oliver. ollie. orion. oscar. paxton. peach. pebble. phoebe. picard. pila. pluto. poppy. puff. pup. ralph. randelle. randy. red. redd. reika. remus. rex. rhys. riley. rocky. rolfo. roman. romulus. rosie. rover. rowdy. roxie. roxy. ruby. rudy. ruff. rufus. ruppell. russel. russell. sadie. scottie. scout. scruff. scruffy. selena. shep. shepard. shepherd. silver. sophie. spike. spitz. spot. stafford. star. stella. stick. storm. stormy. suki. teddy. terry. tiger. tosa. venerie. walker. will. wolf. wolfgang. zev. zip. zoey.

PRONOUNS ⌇　arf/arf. awoo/awoo. ba/ball. ba/bark. bark/bark. bite/bite. ble/blep. bo/bone. bo/bork. bork/bork. cae/canine. can/cani. cani/cani. canid/canidae. canin/canine. canine/canine. cha/chase. chew/chew. claw/claw. co/collar. coll/collar. cute/cute. dig/dig. dog/dog. drool/drool. en/energy. fang/fang. fe/fetch. floof/floof. fluff/fluff. fluff/fluffy. fur/fur. fur/furry. ga/game. grey/grey. grim/grim. gro/growl. growl/growl. grr/grr. guard/guard. ho/howl. houn/hound. hound/hound. howl/howl. hunt/hunt. jump/jump. lea/leash. leash/leash. lo/loyal. loyal/loyal. lu/lupi. lup/lup. moon/moon. mutt/mutt. muz/muzzle. night/night. pa/paw. paw/paw. pawprint/pawprit. pet/pet. pla/play. pla/playful. play/play. pooch/pooch. predator/predator. pro/protect. pup/pup. puppy/puppy. ri/rir. ri/ruff. roll/roll. rough/rough. ru/run. ruff/ruff. run/run. silv/silver. slob/slober. snap/snap. snarl/snarl. sni/sniff. snout/snout. soft/soft. squi/squirrel. star/star. star/starry. sti/stick. tai/tail. tail/tail. teeth/teeth. teeth/teething. tre/treat. tre/tree. wa/wag. wa/walk. wag/wag. walk/walk. wolf/wolf. wolf/wolve. wolv/wolve. woof/woof. yap/yap. yip/yip. 🌳. 🎾. 🐕. 🐕‍🦺. 🐩. 🐶. 🐺. 🐾. 🐿. 🔆. 🥎. 🦮. 🦴. 🧸.

[pad-wubbo]

All AAI2 official English character and case names rated based on whether I think they're better or worse than the fan translation equivalents:

Di-Jun Huang > Di-Jun Wang - It's the same.

Horace Knightley > Bronco Knight - Worse.

Ethan Rooke > Bastian Rook - Worse.

Nicole Swift > Tabby Lloyd - Much better.

Raymond Shields > Eddie Fender - Slightly worse.

Jay Elbird > Rocco Carcerato - Much better.

Simon Keyes > Simeon Saint - Slightly worse.

Sebastian Debeste > Eustace Winner - Sounds worse, fits better.

Justine Courtney > Verity Gavèlle - Much better.

Sirhan Dogen > Bodhidharma Kanis - Much better.

Patricia Roland > Fifi Laguarde - Much better, they've already done "patrol" twice.

Jeff Master > Samson Tangaroa - More unique, less punny. Not sure.

Katherine Hall > Judy Bound - Slightly worse because no food pun.

Isaac Dover > Artie Frost - References his nature as an artist, better.

Pierre Hoquet > Paul Halique - Same as Japanese name, no longer parrot.

Dane Gustavia > Carmelo Gusto - Worse, doesn't sound as awesome.

Delicia Scones > Delicia Scone - It's the same.

Karin Jenson > Florence Niedler - Much better. Florence Nightingale and needles.

Bonnie Young > Hilda Hertz - Better, because alliterative.

Jill Crane > Rosie Ringer - Better, alliterative. Different nursery rhyme.

Blaise Debeste > Excelsius Winner - The absolute Winner among these names. It's so pompous, contains "celsius" and "excel" and just sounds like he went to Oxford.

John Marsh > Shaun Fenn - It's the same. Shaun means John and fen means marsh.

Amy Marsh > Amelie Fenn - It's the same.

Dai-Long Lang > Da-Long Lang - It's the same.

Jack Cameron > Alf Aldown - Better, only because it's a Deid Mann tier awful name rather than a boring realistic name.

Turnabout Target > Turnabout Trigger - Better, sounds more like a presidential assassination attempt.

The Imprisoned Turnabout > The Captive Turnabout - Better, less long-winded.

The Inherited Turnabout > Turnabout Legacy - Better for same reason as above.

The Forgotten Turnabout > A Turnabout Forsaken - Sounds more pretentious, but probably better because less confusion with The Lost Turnabout, where Phoenix forgets.

The Grand Turnabout > Turnabout for the Ages - Worse, I think. It sounds cooler, but doesn't have any chess connotations. They should have called it "The Grandmaster's Turnabout" or "Turnabout Checkmate", I think.

Also, have updated case cards to help you get used to the new names.

EDIT;

Some extra things:

* iFly Airlines in AAI1 has been reverted to its Japanese name of "GoYou". This was probably done because iFly is the name of a real Russian airline with global sanctions against it since 2022.

* As a result, Hugo Ifly is now Ugo Hughes and the tanuki called Mr. Ifly is now Captain Ugo.

* Moozilla is now Taurusaurus, which I think is a better name.

* The Grand Tower is now the Bigg Building, suggesting that Big is not merely its size, but a Mr. Bigg is its proprietor.

* The Zodiac Hall galleries are now referred to as seasonal "Wings" rather than "Palaces". Makes more sense.

* Edgeworth Law Offices is now referred to as Edgeworth and Co. Law Offices, the Co. being Eddie Fender (aka Ray Shields). Again, makes more sense.

* Rocky the bear is now Teddy, since his owner is now already Rocco as a Rocky reference.

* Anubis the hunting dog is now Helmut, a lame pun on "hell mutt".

* Astique the elephant is now Azea, like an "Asian" elephant.

* Ally the alligator is still the same. Regina Berry is not very good at naming animals.

[seraphim-coinz]

Hello again!! Would you mind if we requested another NPT? (Or,, the other acronym we haven't learned yet fjsbfjd)

Ngl we kinda became obsessed with seeing those– and also we've been feeling very doggy lately so! Queer (trans/nonbinary) doggy NPT? :D it can also be kitty if you prefer!

Tysm once again!!

-🦇🐈‍⬛

System Names: The Puppygenders. The Queer Pups. The Enby Hounds. Trans Best Friend. Trans Man's Best Friend. Canine Queers. The Wagging Tail Collective. The Howling System.

Names: Bailey. Charlie. Stick. Riley. Bear. Indie. Blue. Roxy/Roxie. Zip. Peach. Ollie. Echo. Dixie. Cooper. Luna. Coco. Nala. Suki. Harley. Teddy. Leo. Apollo. Scout. Bandit. Dexter.

Pronouns: Pup/Pups. Dog/Dogs. Paw/Paws. Yip/Yips. Wag/Wags. Coll/Collars. Mutt/Mutts. Hound/Hounds. Leash/Leashes. Bark/Barks. Wolv/Wolves. Howl/Howls. Pooch/Pooches. Pet/Pets. Dig/Digs. Teeth/Teeths. Bite/Bites.

Usernames: ouppyqueer. thetransdoggo. howlingenby. enbypupper. queermutt. muttgendersss. multigendermutt. enbydoggo. dogtrans. puppyboyyyyy. puppygirlllll.

Titles: The Happy Little Dog. The Puppy Who Digs Up Genders. The Enby with the Softest Ears. [prn] who Bites. The Playful Puppy Queer. The Perfect Puppy. [prn] who Loves to Play (With Gender).

Genders: Puppydoll. Pinkpuppycoric. Boymutt and Girlmutt. Vampupboy. Octopupgender. Thingmutt. Traumadog and Traumamutt. Puppyboy.

Labels: Agender Pup. Black/White Siberian Husky Link. Pup/Pups Pronoun Flag. Mutt Flag. Mutt4Mutt Attraction. Stray Dog. Mutt Faggot. Service Dog. Assigned Puppy At Birth.

I used the pronouns in this NPT on an account I mod on! Here! (link)

Also I might actually scream if I search "puppygender" and get NSFT again!

[fanfic-lover-girl]

The HP Epilogue: JKR's trashfire ending to a trash book series

I was reading snippets from the epilogue for the first time and everything about the epilogue is just frustrating. And I want to share things I found intolerable about it to let off steam. These are MY opinions so if you feel differently, I am happy for you. But here is a summary of my gripes.

The names of the Hinny Harry's kids

James Sirius. Albus Severus. Lily Luna. I can empathize with wanting to honour people you love by naming your kids after them...but this is just overkill. Not one of Harry's kids has an original name. Not one! And I said Harry's kids because it seems like Ginny had absolutely no input in the names. If I am being generous, maybe the Luna name was hers, but given the naming pattern of the kids, I am sure that Luna references Lupin and not Luna Lovegood. Sometimes I feel as if Harry has a domineering vibe in Hinny and the kids' names are not doing any favours to combat that. Not surprising as everything about the Hinny romance was dictated by Harry's wants. Who cares about Ginny?

Muggleborne discrimination is bad but pureblood discrimination is A-ok

‘You’re right, sorry,’ said Ron, but unable to help himself, he added, ‘don’t get too friendly with him, though, Rosie. Granddad Weasley would never forgive you if you married a pure-blood.’

I could not believe my eyes when I read this. It's like Ron forgot that HIS family is pureblood! It's the same vibe as a black parent telling their black or mixed kid not to marry another black person! Luna is pureblood! Neville is pureblood! Do the Weasleys have some kind of self-hatred?? Another point to purebloods slowly dying out but who cares? As far as JKR is concerned, the wizards should be aiming to all be mutts with mixed blood :)

BTW the Scorpius/Rose pairing fills me with revulsion. I like Albus and Scorp as friends though! But not so much as lovers.

Marriage is the only way to be truly part of a family

‘Oh, it would be lovely if they got married!’ whispered Lily ecstatically. ‘Teddy would really be part of the family then!’

Got some heavy Hinny vibes from this line of dialogue. Harry did not become a true Weasley until he got with Ginny after all :)

I know Lily is a kid and she means no malice, but I truly felt disgust towards this line. It just bothers me, especially in the context of Hinny and how Ginny functions as a way for Harry to become a Weasley member. Teddy is Harry's godson, he should be like a big brother to Lily. How does becoming a cousin-in-law make him more of a family member compared to being her surrogate big bro??

Do Hogwarts alumni swear an oath of secrecy?

‘And you don’t want to believe everything he tells you about Hogwarts,’ Harry put in.

He had never told any of his children that before, and he saw the wonder in Albus’s face when he said it.

So James Sirius is telling Albus Severus exaggerated tales about Hogwarts similar to what the Weasley twins did to Ron. But how is this possible? Do the parents not talk about Hogwarts to their kids? If my kid was going to my alma mater, I would tell him/her all about the school when I went there. I don't understand why it seems like parents don't talk about Hogwarts. At least Draco's parents seem to talk to him about the school at least.

Muggle abuse is still funny Ha. Ha.

‘As a matter of fact, I did Confund him,’ Ron whispered to Harry, as together they lifted Albus’s trunk and owl on to the train. ‘I only forgot to look in the wing mirror, and let’s face it, I can use a Supersensory Charm for that.’

Remember that Ron is an Auror! A wizarding cop! But nah muggles are still lesser than wizards so even a guy like Ron who's supposed to be a good hero character feels no shame in messing with their autonomy. Ron is literally so disgusting in the epilogue. Never thought I would end HP finding Ron the least tolerable of the trio when Ron is usually my fav of the 3. Not that the bar is very high for the other two.

JKR really does not like Draco

His hair was receding somewhat, which emphasised the pointed chin.

Of course, JKR can't end the series without throwing more shade at Draco. He's rocking the middle-aged man look, only has one kid and has a love interest that we know squat about. And then in CC, Draco's wife dies! Sigh, I really hate Drastoria...

All is not well

There is still house discrimination. Magical creatures likely still have fewer rights. Aurors like Ron and everyday wizards abuse their powers against muggles. Purebloods are dying out. Wizards like Albus act like they did not grow up in a magical world, aka wizards still have low brain cell counts. But sure, Harry's scar is fine so ALL IS WELL!

I can't believe there are people out here calling JKR a good writer! I see the vast potential of the book series and I feel so sad sometimes. I am so happy that HP never existed in my childhood.