#tbh i thought she hated me when we first started and wELL I KINDA STILL THINK SHE DOES

[elegyofthemoon]

today was good!!!! but i am!!!! very tired!!!!!!! :D

[81folklore]

as good as new - ALBON

pairings: alex albon x ex!girlfriend!reader (fc: quarterjade)

summary: alex soft launches his ex girlfriend after they find eachother again

type: social media au (smau)

authors note: ok so welcome to the start of the voulez-vous fic list! i hope this makes sense but incase it doesnt, alex and yn used to be dating before they split due to just growing apart, but they were meant to be😁

authors note 2: kinda rushed at the end so sorry about that! got a couple of requests to work on so ill try and get them done along with this fic list! and you cant still join the taglist!!

voulez-vous main masterlist

yourusername

liked by alex_albon, brookeabb and 122,268 others

happy new years!!🥂

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user7 happy new year gorgeous!!

yourfriend2 SHINING SHIMMERING SPLENDIDDDD

brookeab SHE IS SO FINE AND SO CUTE AND PRETTY AND LOVELY

user82 JAW IS ON THE FLOOR??

user90 im so in love with you

user26 GET IN LINE

user38 so so so so stunning

twitter

alex_albon

liked by williamsracing, yourusername and 253,080 others

last dump of the year🇦🇪

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williamsracing see you next year king🫡

user84 yn liking :’)

user9 THE FIFTH PIC?!

user47 is that..shirtless alex

user83 WHOS HOLDING THE BOX??

user97 technically its already 2024 but we’ll let it slide

user55 imagine its yn in the 5th pic..

user1 can we not? 1. its none of our business and 2. alex can move on and imagine being that girl and seeing people think its her bfs ex like..

yourusername

liked by pokimanelol, alex_albon and 92,389 others

me and my boy ⭐️

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tinakitten CUTE AS HECK!!

yourfriend4 i miss him☹️

yourusername even though he hates you??

yourfriend4 he doesnt hate me, just not fond!!

user77 whos that in the second slide👀

user52 no tag either🤨

user13 moms weekend with the kids i see

user9 does alex get weekends? i thought the cats were yns?

user2 tbh we have no idea, i assumed he did but maybe not🤷‍♀️

user26 so so cute!! we need more pics of you and genji!!

alex_albon added to their story

caption:☀️🐈

replies

user66 GENJI AND MABEL!!

user73 we missed them :’)

user8 oh how i love cat dad alex

twitter

alex_albon • mallorca

liked by jensonbutton, yourusername and 293,286 others

me gusta la playa

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user4 THE CENSORSHIP??

user89 three shirtless pics?? someone call george

georgerussell63 someones coming for my brand🤣

user9 the softlaunch..oh im losing my mind

user33 yn liking alexs softlaunch post..shes checking up on the ex😭

user12 ran into george and lando in the last pic

user1 alex is so hot😮‍💨

user912 alex is FEEDING us at the moment

yourusername • mallorca

liked by alex_albon, carmenmundt and 182,196 others

sorry cant talk rn im too busy being hot

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carmenmundt absolute beauty💞🫶

user94 I CAN TREAT YOU SO WELL

user63 so so gorgeous

user9 alex and yn both being in mallorca and alex softlaunching..

user111 you are a dream

twitter

yourusername

liked by alex_albon, landonorris and 210,692 others

darling, we were always meant to stay together💫

i was searching for photos to post and decided on 6 that really showed my life these past months

1. a photo on the first day i went out after we split, i felt lost and alone and decided to start documenting my journey alone

2. this is a photo i took when i went home and felt peace for the first time since our break

3. a selfie we took in the taxi after our ‘first date’. we met up for the first time since, and spoke about our feelings and decided to start taking things slow

4. a day out with you and my sister, i felt so happy knowing i had the two most important people with me again

5. our first holiday, this will always mean alot to me. we both said i love you for the first time, we spent all day, every day together just loving and holding each other

6. we were leaving and instead of being sad we knew that this part of our life wasnt over but instead we were moving on to bigger and better things

i love you so much and im so thankful that i have someone has caring and loving as you

tagged alex_albon

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alex_albon just like it used to be and even better🌟

alex_albon i love you so so much

alex_albon i promise to love you forever and ever

yourusername my loveliest boy

user71 THEYRE BACK

yourusername AND BETTER THAN EVER BABY

user111 MY FAVORITES

user9 i didnt read the caption and experienced genuine shock when i saw alex

user8 so proper just say you were shocked😭

user88 i need everything to apologize to mads RIGHT NOW

user61 all the hate on her WHEN SHE WAS RIGHT

taglist: @smartstupyd

[helluvapurf]

...so uhhhhh, "Apology Tour" was... *interesting*-

Didn't even seem that long ago since "Full Moon" came out so I didn't expect another ep drop this morning, buuuut welp! Lets discuss:

First off just to smoothen things up a bit, The Positives:

-Animation & visuals were quite pretty, and wasn't expecting the whole "spooky Halloween" aesthetic at Verosika's party (tho that may just be the summer season speaking lol) but hey, I kinda dig it~ 👀

-Verosika in-general, I was super stoked to see more of here! 💜and even with her staying pretty sassy/bitter towards Blitz... its honestly hard not to feel for her once she & him finally had that one-on-one convo (even revealing that she did legit love him... but Blitz simply couldn't stay with her due to his own commitment/intimacy issues ;-; ). And even if it was technically more of a pettiness move to theme her party around hating Blitz... in a way, its lowkey kinda sweet how much she wanted to help others "heal" from heartbreak? Aww... 🥺 Idk, do I still wish Verosika could've been more of the "major" character focus here (as Fizzarolli was in his past couple eps)? Absolutely. But for what its worth... I had fun watching her as I did💗 (& hopefully this won't be the last time Verosika appears story-wise, cause oml imagine the bonding potential of her, Blitz & Fizz as a reunited trio lol)

-That one incubus dude that flirted with Stolas (+kissed him) at the end seemed like a chill dude. Even if he most likely won't appear again, his vibe was fun to watch lol.

-OH, we finally get to see Mrs. Mayberry again, sweet~! :> ...and, she's apparently dating Martha now? Huh, thats... interesting, I guess? .3. (*wonder what happened to her husband/kids tho, 'cause I kiiiinda thought they would've landed in Hell too ngl-*)

...aaaaand okay yeah, that'll cover the Positives I've got atm. Now for The Negatives... ohhhhh boy:

-I... guess I'm not super alone in this opinion rn from what I've read from other fans, buuuuut... Stolas can you shut your entitled-hypocrite-mouth up for five minutes, please?? 🤦‍♀️Like, I know the dude's still reeling from how "Full Moon" ended, so him being in a mixed mood is to be expected tbh... but omllllll the way he was just SO smug, dramatic and pushy about being the "good guy" in how he & Blitz ended (-as if HE wasn't the one who set up their whole "transactional" dynamic since the start of the freakin' show?? =_=), even whining about the events of "Western Energy" (-when all Blitz was doing was prioritizing his daughter's well-being at the hospital, like a good dad should), was just... seriously?? >> Like... yes, Blitz may be a whole mess himself with how he's treated others (esp poor Verosika 💔), but that does NOT make Stolas a saint with how he handled things himself. From hanging the Grimoire over Blitz's head, creeping on him again & again, practically ragdoll-ing the poor guy's feelings during the crystal exchange (not even skipping a bit when Blitz was close to crying), aaaaand not to mention...

...so like, tell me how I'm expected to believe Blitz is the one who needs to do all this apologizing/groveling... WHEN HE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO STOLAS EXCEPT (RIGHTFULLY) CALLING THIS BLUEBLOOD BIRD OUT ON HIS BS?? 😑

*sighs* Sorry, didn't mean to get heated there but... yiiiikes is this show sending so many mixed messages of where I'm supposed to stand with these two, I can't keep up anymore- 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

-As much as I get what the ep was trying to do in having Blitz see past his own ego/apologize to others… Iiiiii'd be lying if I said I didn't feel just a tad bit uncomfortable at the increasing Blitz hate, throughout the party-sequence ^^; Like, I know he's a shitty guy who's done shitty things, and absolutely he needs to recognize how much he's hurt those like Verosika (& his other exes)… buuuuut tying into my previous point, it just rings rather unfair that most of this seems mostly spurned from him rejecting Stolas, of all people? ._. When… again, they were NEVER an actual couple like him & Verosika were, instead were just a simple once-a-month hookup deal that soured 'cause of Stolas' mess of a "confession"… y'all really expect me to believe Blitz is the bad guy for not immediately accepting the "feefee's" of a privileged, horny prince (aka: the one who did hold the Grimoire over his head since S1's "Murder Family")? …Ehhhh, sorry but I am NOT buying that crap lmao -x- 👎

[hex6rcist]

10 Questions to ask a Mutual

Instructions: prev asks ten questions and you answer them, then ask ten new ones and tag ten people to keep the chain going!

New post because I am a YAPPER.

Tagged by: @we-keep-odd-hours 🖤

So stoked to answer your insightful questions about my fav movie. 😭

1. Thoughts on Eric Red's idea for a Near Dark sequel? (Mae and Caleb's adult, human, daughter has a run in with "kin" of the Hookers.)

Oof okay soooo tbh I hate it lmfao. Partially because I don’t think Mae and Caleb would stay together as humans to be so honest. I think if anything after the end of the movie they tried to make it work but ultimately returning to a human life for Mae wouldn’t just be difficult it’d be traumatic. She went from a young human woman, to a creature of the night who had to learn to kill, back to a young human woman who hadn’t physically changed in YEARS. She likely would have eventually split from Caleb because let’s be real he isn’t equipped to help that emotional baggage but I do think they’d keep in touch because I mean, they have this insane shared experience. Also not huge in the idea of a sequel of Near Dark. I’d much rather see a remake believe it or not. Still 80’s, include the juicy missing scrips bits (I’ll go on about this later lol), lean more into the family dynamic.

2. Top five movies with vampires?

In no order (please don’t make me lol)

Near Dark (duh), What we do in the Shadows, Lost Boys, Salem’s Lot, and I really adored Last Voyage of the Demeter. Honorable mention to 30 Days of Night.

3. If YOU were going to pitch a sequel (time machine back to 1987, or else a book/comic/etc) what would you say?

Oof okay so low I said I’m not keen on a sequel. Buuuut if I had to pitch one. I do love the idea of Severen coming back for revenge against Mae and Caleb. Maybe their relationship kind of imploding in on itself as they deal with this (very drama). I could see Mae now with this new context of her and Caleb’s relationship either having to double down on her choice to go with Caleb and picking the human world or doubling back and reuniting with Severen and wishing to go back to the night. In the end I think if she chose to go back, just for the drama. When Sev tries to turn her it ends up not working because surely you can’t just go back and forth on that right? And he accidentally kills her. Very bitter sweet.

Alternatively! Because now the gears are turning now! Mae after leaving Caleb and on her journey of figuring out who or what she is now as a human. Did going back have side effects on her physically? Probably!

4. Favorite scene that isn't the bar scene

Now THIS is a hard question. 😭 I want to say the shoot out because it is so so fucking good or even when they first get to the motel and they’re starting to warm up to and accept Caleb. But my true to the bone answer has got to be when Homer brings Sarah back to the motel. It’s just a priceless situation lol. All of their reactions are so telling. Sev grinning and kinda chuckling like “ah shit, this is gonna be good” and joking around. Jesse’s just absolute “you’ve gotta be kidding me right now” look. Diamondback’s annoyance and just being like “well obviously I’m the one who’s gonna have to deal with this”. It’s pure gold to me. It just cracks me up so hard.

5. We know (canon) that Mae was turned around 1982, Jesse around the Civil War, and (kiiiiiinda canon?) Severen in Tombstone in the late 19th century. When/where do you think Diamondback and Homer were from?

Ooh okay I’ve done this before! My answer that’s stayed the same is I LOVE the idea of Diamondback having been a prohibition era rum runner who met Jesse on a run. Also a clue in on how she got her name. It just simply speaks to me.

As for Homer… I’ve changed my mind. Initially I was under the impression that Diamondback turned him (hence the need she felt to step in with the Sarah situation) but after reflecting on it. I can’t get the way Jesse called him “old man” out of my mind. So I asked myself. Well what if Homer is older than Jesse and wasn’t turned by anyone in the clan? What’s his connection to them?

My current HC is that Homer and Jesse were turned by the same vampire, they’re brothers. In an interview Lance Henriksen shares his idea for how Jesse was turned. Which was by a mysterious creature at sea. Which I sort of love! It gives a more fantastical element to this vampire story that feels very rooted in a gritty reality. I like to think that Jesse was turned by a vampire who was ancient (a la Queen Akasha from Queen of the Damned). A vampire who’s so old they’re barely human and would have no qualms with turning a child.

6. Do you think if Caleb got over his selectively applied human moral code that he would have made an okay vampire, eventually?

Okay is a low bar and I think he’d clear it! Eventually he would have just had to suck it up (lol) and deal with it. That would be his life. I’ve mentioned in other things I’ve written I think he’d be a very picky feeder but I don’t think he’d continue to be a “weak link” so to say. Maybe! Even as the centuries passed he’d come to enjoy it. Maybe…

7. Severen: ace/aro spec, or no?

I can see how this idea came about as he is the only one in the clan not romantically linked or seeking that connection however I don’t think it’s from a lack of sexual or romantic interest on a large scale. I think it just wasn’t important to him at that time. There was a lot going on! He had to deal with this new dude and try to get his dick wet? He’s busy damn it! I could see him being like demiromantic but like dtf. Like he’s gonna bang but you have to earn his love. Def has past lovers who hate him lmfao.

8. Any scenes that were changed from script to film, or otherwise cut that you wish made it into the movie/were done differently?

The fact that we didn’t get to see Severen jump out of the back of the van in the scene following the shootout and lay down some serious high speed carnage on those cops is a crime against me personally. I NEED THAT SCENE. GIVE IT TO ME. PLEASE. LET THE FERAL MAN DO FEEAL ACTS.

9. What would have happened if Loy and Sarah were at literally any other motel that night?

Well I suppose Sarah and Homer wouldn’t have met! Therefore Caleb would have stayed with the clan, Homer would eventually move on from the Mae situation and maybe find a new target later down the line, Loy and Sarah would eventually just lose the trail and have to go home perhaps even accepting Caleb was gone.

This gives me another good idea though! Loy returns home without his son and isn’t quite the same. Eventually a local from town sees him (idk at church or something like that) and explains that he saw Caleb at the sables the night he went missing! And he was with a girl. They explain to Loy about how the horses seemed spooked by her. Come to think of it not long after that night 4 dead bodies showed up, drained of blood.

LOY BECOMES A VAMPIRE HUNTER.

What do we think?

10. Aside from her god-awful taste in boys, what's your opinion on Mae?

I actually love Mae. She’s so weird girl coded. Cryptic, hopeful, adventurous, curious, even a touch stubborn. She’s almost a little awkward but knows how to turn on the charm and use her perceived innocence to her advantage. She oozes this deep sense of knowing and understanding. And yes awful taste in boys lmao.

This was so much fun! Thank you for tagging me!!!! 😭🖤

My questions and tagees will be below the cut for space! Because I rambled!

1. How are you!? I hope your day is going well.

2. What are you currently working on? Any little projects of any kind you’re excited to share?

3. What have you been watching lately? I just finished Righteous Gemstones and I need a new show lol.

4. (A Near Dark one because how can I not) what’s your favorite small detail in the movie that other people might overlook?

5. What blog should I follow right now?

6. Best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

7. If you could add one fantastical element to the real world and have it be a commonly accepted and known about thing what would it be? (Ie make Santa real)

8. What’s the last book you didn’t just read, you DEVOURED?

9. What are you most passionate about?

10. What do you think is your best quality?

I tag: @we-keep-odd-hours (again lmfaoooo, you don’t need to ask more questions) @babieswrld (heyyy!) @turquoisebolotie (I miss you 🥺)

[zanarkandfayth]

Would love to read your answers to questions 3, 9, 13, 17, 18, 26, 29, 31, 32, 50, and, if there's another number (or several) you really wanna answer, please add those too ✨

thank you for the ask!! <33 I wrote you novels in return gjdskglj

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

oooh this one is so hard because I love most of my fics for different reasons, even my older ones (at least the ones on ao3. we ignore the ones left behind on ffnet lmao). hhhh, of completed ones that are posted, imma have to say monsters honestly, because damn did I put some heart into that. but the one I'd probably consider absolute best is the still ongoing, not yet posted 600K+ beast of a fic I usually refer to as "nanofic" that I've been working on since 2019. it won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it just gets so deep into noct's trauma that I inflict on him and his slow recovery from it, more than I've done for any other fic, and I've poured so much blood sweat and tears into that thing, it's kinda everything to me.

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

written, no. been tempted to in the past, but it was too much effort and I already had too many fics for my main fandoms. I have read fandom blind for both harry potter and supernatural in the past though, like lates 2000s into mid 2010s. both were kinda on accident. supernatural in particular is because it kept getting crossed over with MULTIPLE of my fandoms. psych, house md, and criminal minds. so I started reading non-crossover supernatural fics in self-defense gsdklgjdks

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I mean… this is the first paragraph of one of my fics from my first fandom when I was fifteen. you tell me 😂

"Relena smiled as she sipped her tea and mentally reviewed the day's schedule. 8:00 am- peace talk to the world. 10:00 am- conference with Romefeller. 1:00 pm- try to convince Dorothy to become a pacifist because she was to stupid to understand that Dorothy loved war. Rest of the day- annoy the HELL out of Heero Yuy. Smiling happily again (PLEASE! Her smile is SO annoying), she stood up and was just about to take a step when …. suddenly a freak falling cow killed her!!! =^.^= The gundam boys all burst out of closets around the room and rejoiced."

the biggest change is probably that I actually write well now lmao. and don't character bash. and don't throw author's notes and emoticons in the middle of fics, and have learned to format better, and, and…

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

oh god. let me hide before I answer this. hands down, it's shadows growing. like let me be clear, it's not bad by any means. I'm still fond of it. but I did not have a clear plan when I started writing it, and I really feel like that shows. it was not meant to be a fix-it fic. it was not meant to be a longer fic. it was not meant to be much of anything, tbh. I saw the prompt on the kink meme and the prologue literally started writing itself in my head and I was like "nah idk what I'd do with that" and I scrolled past, but I couldn't focus on reading other prompts and so I went back and just started typing the fic in a reply to the prompt. honestly I figured I'd write whatever I could and then when I left it unfinished, no one would know because I was anon and I had like one fic posted on ao3 for ffxv at the time and I was used to being a complete fandom nobody. the fact that shadows growing got me even somewhat noticed was unexpected and I was not prepared gdjskgjdskl

it definitely affected the fic because once the readers started picking up it made me feel suuuuper stressed and I was so afraid to stray too far from canon because I thought people would hate that??? for some reason??? no there's logic there. I was just overwhelmed. and I do get why people love it, because the whump and the friendship between the boys is really good. but I cannot help but look at it and remember how out of my depth I felt at the time and wish that I had been brave enough to diverge more from canon and smart enough to come up with a better ending. I still suspect there were quite a few people who felt let down by the ending and that's fair honestly. anyways, yeah, it's a good fic and I'm fond of it and most of the attention and the recs it got were in the first couple years of the game being out and I don't begrudge it being my most popular fic, I just. have better ones now I feel like gjsdgjskgsj but maybe not ones as many people would want to read. which is fine with me tbh.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

the gladio oneshot in my "fayth's daddy issues week" series! (I wrote all those fics so back to back that I can't remember the titles for any of them whoops.) I adore that fic and it got so little attention compared to most of the other fics in that week, or my fics overall tbh. the only one that got even less was the one about iris 🤣 but I don't care much for the iris one either, even though I think it has some stellar banter between the boys and cute/funny prompto/gladio moments. I really love the gladio one though, because it was fun to revisit gladio's pov in a fic and I got to develop a bit of backstory for him that's been evolving into headcanon and there's a good chunk of ignis and gladio friendship that was the precursor to all their friendship in monsters, plus I got to make gladio cry, so. I love it <3

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

characterisation, for sure. it's the one thing I agonise over and actually worry about what readers might think at times, especially as I get further away from having played the game to keep it fresh in my mind. so anyone commenting that it feels right makes me roll around on my bed in glee. the other aspect I equally enjoy is people commenting on the emotions. like, that the ones I wrote the characters having feel real/deep, that it made the reader feel them too, etc. stuff like that. cos the emotions are literally why I write fic lol.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

I am dumb and am struggling to understand what this question is asking, tbh. is it like, do I write for as many fandoms as I read, or something? because fuck no in that case, haha. the only fandoms I've done major writing for (more than one or two fics) are gundam wing, digimon adventure, final fantasy x, and final fantasy xv. and I've read for something like 100 fandoms, idk. at one point I had a list but I stopped keeping track eventually.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

well… I didn't really understand the concept of characterisation for fanfic until a little before I started writing for ffx. so uh, it's kinda non-existent in my gdw and digimon fics. but once I actively started trying for it… honestly maybe just yuna from final fantsy x. I had some things featuring her meant to be longer fics that were set during the game (most of my posted stuff is set pre-canon, with no yuna in sight) but I never finished and/or posted them because I always felt shaky on yuna's characterisation. I don't think I've majorly struggled with anyone in ffxv to the point that I've felt too dissatisfied with characterisation to post. but at the same time I'm sure none of them are actually perfectly right xD but they FEEL more or less right to me, which is all I care about.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

noct. I mean. he's my blorbo for a reason xD my beloved, I relate to him so much and the rest of it I just project lololol. I make a point to not actually just write myself as noct, cos I personally ain't about that, but it feels very easy to write him without needing to think too deeply about his thoughts/feelings/reactions most of the time. they feel instinctual to me, even when it's something that would differ from my own thoughts/feelings/reactions if I was in a similar situation.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

YES and the answer to this question is one of the reasons antis/purity culture upsets me so fucking much. it's a personal/sensitive answer though so skip if you don't want to read that xD but. reading rape/sexual abuse & aftermath fics as a teenager is what helped me to understand that, even though there was no outright rape happening, I was still being abused. seeing my favourite characters have the courage to tell someone about their abuse and get help is what encouraged me to tell one of my friends during an AIM conversation late one night when I was sixteen, and she convinced me to tell my therapist at my next appointment, who then told my mom, and yeah let's just say that was a very significant and eventually positive impact (it was a rocky road) on my life. if none of that had happened I genuinely think the CSA would have continued escalating into eventual rape. so thank FUCK for fanfic and I seethe with rage every time some shitfuck anti tries to claim there's no good to be found in such fics. plus in general it just helps with my mental health and I've made plenty of friends through fic over the years, even if they come and go I'm still grateful to have known them for that time, and writing fic is the one thing that gives life any meaning for me, etc. so yeah I'd say at least 99% positive.

and now, I will add a few to answer, because you said I could lmao

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

it is a toss-up between horizon road, an ffx fic featuring a toxic, fucked up relationship between tidus and auron that I still really love, or endless skies, a really self-indulgent digimon fic. they're both old at this point, horizon road I started in 2005, and endless skies was in 2016. horizon road suffers from me having no solid ideas for it beyond the three chapters I wrote, and endless skies is painfully fully outlined, but it was such a hard, research-intensive fic to write for a number of reasons, and now looking at it also just reminds me of an ex-friend who I feel very negative towards (because I talked to them a lot while plotting/writing and they even wrote some of the smut scenes for me, though I've since removed those) and even if I wasn't still deeply entrenched in ffxv, I don't think I could bring myself to ever work on it again :/ which sucks because I did adore it very much.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

…okay, I think anyone who has read shadows growing and then has also read or even looked at my ignoct fics knows that the ignoct is very much present in shadows growing gjdskgjsk as much as I will swear up and down it's platonic, and people certainly can take it that way if they want, like. come on. it's there. at a point, it very much was intentional. BUT. it did start out accidental. the og prompt asked for either gen or OT4 and I don't ship OT4 so I was gonna do gen but noct and ignis kept blurring the lines when I started writing scenes with them gdsjkgdjkl aaaaand actually I didn't start monsters with the intention of it being ignoct either. (the ignoct bits in the first chapter I actually added in a rewrite of that chapter lmao.) nor the tiny little epilogue in heavy is the burden that nudges into hinting at ignoct territory. fuck, even the ignoct in my very first ffxv wasn't meant to be so overt as it was gjdsklgjks there's also tiny hints of it in some of my fayth's daddy issues week fics (not counting the one that's deliberately and stated to be ignoct).

…actually now that I'm writing this I'm realising very little of my ignoct has been deliberately planned at the start 😂 the sequel to shadows growing, grey skies, was planned, at least xD the promptio that shows up towards the end of the fic was an accident though gjsdkgljslk it just. happened??? I didn't even LIKE promptio when I started writing that fic. huh. maybe accidental shipping is just my thing in writing ffxv fics.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

wanted to answer this one, because, I'm NOT talking in terms of other people here. I don't mean to sound dismissive or ungrateful, because I do appreciate the people who read my fics, it makes me happy, but like. it's not why I write OR post. I'm not "producing content" for people; if someone is unhappy with me for not posting more fics, that's their problem. but in terms of myself… yeah, I do wish I had more to post. not because I feel like I've got some kind of arbitrary quota to meet. like, quite frankly, I have over a million words of fic posted on ao3, and given that I have a single unposted fic that's over 600K alone, I'm positive I have at least 2mil total words written. it's just that I wish I could write more consistently/frequently? I feel like I never write as much as I want to, and I know a lot of it is because of my worsening health, so maybe that's why I just feel so frustrated and dissatisfied with my output, but man, sometimes I look at my number of posted works on ao3 and feel like it's such a low number for how long I've been writing ): both for ffxv specifically and for all my fics total. I know it's silly, but the feeling persists nonetheless.

thank you again for the ask!! I feel happy getting to answer questions and ramble about my fics :D and it was really fun to think about my answers and realise a thing or two haha.

[aballadforbarbatos]

a gift for satan, the master tutor

btw this one is like. 80 points long so gl with that. i had fun with it though! hopefully you do too ^.^

“listen. satan. let’s go out.”

his brain totally stops at that. nobody else seems to notice- did you whisper it? he can’t quite remember! he needs to reboot his brain, hold on a second MC

“hellooo? satan? i asked if you wanted to go out with me to town? on a shopping trip?”

so not a date then. WELL NO WONDER NOBODY LOOKED OVER AT THEM BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T ASKING IN THE FIRST PLACE

there also wasn’t a single question there, so he can’t help but suspect you were trying to tease him with the possibility of reciprocated love…

you smile at him. he thinks about saying no in retaliation. but then… what if asmo goes with you instead… or mammon… can he really risk that? no.

great day in town too btw. nice and warm and peaceful. you say something about how lucifer would give you his credit card if you got 100% on all your exams, and you did! satan thinks about how lucifer is such a goddamn sap when it comes to you. grow a backbone, loser

“so where are we going?”

“clothes shopping!”

ugh. he hates clothes shopping. it’s so boring, and he has enough in his wardrobe. so do you actually, why are you choosing to go CLOTHES shopping with lucifer’s credit card?? you already have enough?!

he voices this. but nicely. you shake your head and laugh.

“no, silly! we are going clothes shopping for YOU.”

we what now

“no offence, and i mean this with my whole heart, but your clothes are so incredibly ugly. it always looks like you got dressed in the dark. this belt looks like the one i had when i was 11.”

ok, rude

“it’s a good thing you’re a demon bc your closet is a sin in itself”

:( he thinks it looks nice!

“tbh i am embarrassed to be out with you looking like that, but for today it's fine because it’s for the greater good”

apparently it does not look as nice as he originally thought. ok

well, it’s lucifer’s credit card, and he gets to spend the day with you, so it COULD be worse

majolish is up first

he does a lot of standing around while you play around with clothes

“it’s kinda hard to see how this would look on you because your jacket is so goddamn ugly. can you take off your shirt for a second”

TOTALLY misses the flirtatious tone in that sentence and is just offended instead

then it clicks what you asked him. but he still doesn’t get what you were talking about and just gets nervous

“mc we are in public?????????”

you give him a Look.

he doesn’t understand why (he will hours later) (he will burst into your room while there’s another brother in there and say “i’ll take my shirt off for you mc!” and pull it off and the brother will punch him in the stomach. i’m thinking of mammon when i write this)

you find a sales attendant

“hey so i’m gonna burn all his current clothes because they’re awful”

you gesture at his outfit

YOU’RE GOING TO BURN ALL HIS CLOTHES??

WHY IS THE ATTENDANT NODDING LIKE SHE UNDERSTANDS??

“the jacket is distracting me because it’s ugly. can you help me out here?”

“have you tried taking it off?”

“i asked but he whined”

YOU DIDN’T ASK DON’T LIE AND DON’T LIE ABOUT HIM?

the attendant purses her lips but keeps her mouth shut. probably because he’s the avatar of wrath

“it’s so terrible because when you look at his face he’s hot, but then you look at the rest of his outfit and realise you value your dignity more. imagine how much of a heartthrob he could be if he didn’t permanently look like he was getting dressed in the dark!”

mc. what the fuck? HE’S NEVER HEARD SUCH A BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT

“i see. this could cost a lot of money…”

“it’s okay. we have his dad’s credit card.”

he’s going to strangle you. he starts thinking about how to kill you. au revoir mc. it is the end of your life. you will not get a gravestone.

then he remembers how much he’ll miss you. FUCK.

satan settles for a very strong glare. scowl and everything

“um. what size is he?”

“great question. satan take off your shirt so we can find out”

he does not. he still doesn’t get it. he does know his size though so he lets the demon know and then she does her thing.

then it’s trying on clothes. DAMN he hates this. this is terrible and SO BORING. how tf does asmo do it

it takes forever too :(

the demon whispers in your ear.

“hey satan have you tried wearing pants that fit you so we don’t have to suffer through the ugly belts you choose”

at least asmo isn’t here with you???

he finishes shopping with you at SEVEN O’CLOCK. HE SPENT NINE HOURS SUFFERING THROUGH THIS

you even asked if he could wear one of his new outfits out of the store and fold up the other one, and that’s how he ended up wearing something more “stylish”

you pay for them to deliver his new clothes to the house of lamentation via truck because you decide you can’t be bothered carrying the boxes.

not that it would be possible there’s like 20 there and they’re NOT small

“i feel like we’ve hit the spending limit on lucifer’s card even though it doesn’t have a limit”

honestly he feels like that too. but he’s a lot less remorseful about it than you apparently are

you grab his hand and squeeze it and look at him with such a lovely warm smile that it makes this whole day worth it.

you really wipe away all his suffering with a smile. this is really bad for him, satan is in for a whole world of trouble with you

you squeeze his hand

augh he’s so in love with you this is terrible. but so GOOD at the same time it’s a complicated thing don’t ask him to explain it

“now we get to go home and have fun!”

have fun…?

OH RIGHT YOU’RE GOING TO BURN ALL HIS CLOTHES HE TOTALLY FORGOT

“we don’t have to go that far”

“no we do. we can get belphie and asmo in on it too!”

so that’s how he’s spending his saturday night. burning all his clothes.

asmo says this is a celebration and brings music

belphie brings gasoline

asmo says that it’s fabric so there’s no need for gasoline

belphie pours more on the clothes like he’s making a point. satan has no idea what the point is

you bring out the rest of his clothes and tell him to kiss them goodbye

“can i at least keep the jacket?”

loud sigh from you! whY??

“ok sure whatever. now lets light these things on fire!”

asmo and you are having a great time. belphie is watching them all go up in flames from his spot on the ground

lucifer comes out and yells at you both but you’re too busy dancing in front of the fire to pay attention

“dance with me?”

satan feels a smile tug at his lips as he takes your hand.

he’s in love with you.

he’s so in love with you.

his heart will beat for you forever, taken in by your evil doings and gentle ways.

and tonight he’ll dance with you until the flames subside and you tell him to stop.

[st4rwon]

congrats for 300 followers !! <33 i'm so excited for you <33

and as a song request i wanted to suggest "deja vu" by olivia rodrigo with chan !! <3

deja vu

bang chan x reader

300 follower event!

contains: angst, tbh plot is kinda bad TT

word count: 0.8k

a thousand thoughts crossed your mind at once, who was this new girl? why was chan with her? but the question you wanted to know most was why he was reusing all the moments you shared together with this new girl. it bothered you. all these stupid posts of special moments with his new girlfriend but you had done the same things with him first.

chan didn’t know exactly where he went wrong, but he knew very well that it happened somewhere between his breakup with you and getting with someone else. though his heart never did stop loving you, but he couldn’t help but feel like a terrible person every time he had gotten home and seen the distressed look on your face due to the fact you had stayed up for him. he felt guilty that he spent hours a day at work and only a couple with you, hell half the time he was with you the two of you were asleep. so he broke up with you, you deserved better. when trying to ease the pain in his heart he ended up with someone new. she had only served as a replacement, he would do all the same things he did with you in hope that he would be able to feel all the same emotions he felt when he was with you, but he couldn’t…because he wasn’t with you. the long drives with music blaring were boring, the strawberry ice cream he ate was suddenly not appetizing, switching jackets with each other wasn’t something he found fun anymore, unless it was with you.

he knew he had to do something about it, because chan didn’t want to hurt anyone, not you, not him, and not the girl he was with. so he did what he felt was right, he broke up with the girl, who was surprisingly kind about the situation, she herself hadn’t felt a true connection with chan and was going to break up with him. he was glad he was on good terms with her and they went their separate ways. now he needed to figure out a way to make up with you. as he reached out to text you, he felt his heart ache. chan knew that it was wrong of him to do this, it was selfish, after all he was the one to break up with you. but he also couldn’t suffer like this anymore. he decided to put the decision in your hands.

you don’t know why you decided to let chan come, maybe it was the fact that you still loved him, you knew that there was nothing he could do to make you hate him. even though he had just left you, no real reason towards it, you still couldn’t hate him for it. the rapid knocks on your door snapped you out of your thoughts, you got up and hesitantly opened the door.

“hi..” chan said, though it came out more like a mumble. “hey, come in” you replied, eyes staring down at the floor. you refused to look at him because you knew that you would start crying if you did. “so…how’s it been?” he said trying to get some sort of reaction out of you. “let’s just get straight to the point” you stated. it hurt him to see you like this, not wanting to do with him at all, but if that’s what you wanted, that’s what he would have to live with. “i broke up with you because i felt like i wasn’t good enough…i never treated you right, i was always too busy with work or too exhausted to go places, and you don’t deserve that” the room was filled with silence for a moment, “that’s my decision to make though. i get to choose if you’re not good enough for me.” “i’m sorry.” “that still doesn’t explain it…why did you go out with someone else…if you still loved me?” you were scared for the response that would come from chan, you body shaking “because i thought if i copied what i did with you with someone else then maybe i would be able to feel the same way i did. when we did it together. but i didn’t, and it was dumb of me to think i could experience love with anyone that’s not you.” you looked up at him, his eyes as glossy as yours, “if you want to never see me again i get it” “i think that’s what’s gonna have to happen. i just don’t think we can have a healthy relationship after this, i’m sorry” “you shouldn’t be this is my fault anyway. i’ll go now” and with that he was gone.

a/n: thank you moon! didn’t know if you wanted fluff or angst so just went with both TT, i sorta kinda hate this bc the plot isn’t very realistic but i’ll pretend it makes sense <3

please don’t spam like posts, repost, translate, or use my work without my permission. all work is fictional and only used for entertainment purposes. © azurez 2023

[grucylover]

Thoughts on DM3. Don’t hate me. 😂

DM3 was not a bad film, I have seen a lot worse and I even went to see it at the cinema a few times. I’d rate it a 6/7 out of ten.

The problem was with it, it felt outdated with an 80s obsessed villian. Don’t get me wrong, I think Bratt is a great idea and I get the concept of it but just maybe with his own film, not in DM.

Aswell, I felt they took a lot of things away from us that were just getting started.

- Agnes sold Fluffy the unicorn though in DM2 she would have screamed the house down if anything happened to him and he was such a big part of the merch. But no, gone, sold to some lil blonde.

- We didn’t see much of Grus freeze-ray nor his tank of a car. - not a big deal but these lil things make the film what it is.

-There was no Fred. - again like the point above. I would have also have liked to have seen Jillian, I thought she was a great and (annoying) addition to DM2.

-Gru didn’t really bother with the girls or interact with any of them, well a part from Agnes. He didn’t even put them to bed like he used to and just left Lucy to do it all. He didn’t really seem supportive of her with her trying to be a mum I thought. If that was my husband I would have kicked his arse lol!

- Margo got engaged to some weird kid and Gru was nowhere to be seen but in DM2 he was this overprotective dad that would have broke his nose or something lol! I know Lucy had it in hand but���..ya know. I wanted to see the overprotective dad mode.

- We didn’t see much of the house which we seen a lot of in DM1/2 and I thought that was such a shame. Why couldn’t Dru just come to Grus house or something lol

- I disliked how the writers wrote out Dr Nefario (we won’t mention the actors name and no one would of cared if someone else was voicing him) but what a lazy way to just freeze him in carbinite. Gru didn’t really seem that upset over it though the Dr had been like a dad to him. Like ?????

- Dru wasn’t bad, it was kinda nice seeing Gru have some male company as if he was down the pub with a mate but I also found it odd they had all of a sudden put on him the temptation to go back to villainy when in DM2 he had that temptation but he wasn’t interested in the slightest. He just wanted to be a father, get a job, get his girl and that was it. Every scene was perfect, the actors, writers etc put all there heart and soul into it and you couldn’t have put anymore into it really, even if you tried. Gru was really at his peak in DM2. Maybe I’ve got it wrong. Idkkkk.

- I didn’t mind the Minions and personally I never do, I think they just add to the film and I don’t find them annoying. I actually liked the prison scene, I thought that was a pretty good idea tbh.

It even felt like at times the animated characters didn’t want to even be doing the storyline in DM3. 😂

3 obviously made a lot of money because everyone was still hyped around DM2 but came out of the cinema or wherever they first watched it empty handed.

Yes it’s ok chucking in a scene here and there with a treehouse or an Agnes and Gru moment to put in some heart but it was almost forced. The writers said themselves they struggled and just wrote for themselves which I found really sad as there is so much you can do with this franchise I think.

I’m ngl, I am a bit nervous about DM4 as I think this will be its last chance to survive but the trailer looks amazing and I’m already won over by the baby Gru Jr. I wanted them to have a baby in DM3!!!!! Really DM4 should have been 3.

Should have rhey aged the girls up. Yes and no. Maybe a bit? Tbh personally, I don’t really care. It keeps there innocence but I would like to see Gru bonding with them again.

It wasn’t all bad though, I liked Lucy trying to be a mom and the animation has definitely stepped up a notch to the point that Gru is pale AF now and they all look a bit different. Aswell the actors, Carell, Kristin did a great job as always.

This is all my own opinion so don’t come at me 🤣.

[sugar-omi]

Just went through your likes and a couple things:

1. Way less cove then I thought I’d find maybe I need to go deeper. 2. All the Sebastian shit is 👩🏽‍🍳😘🤌🏽. 3. I’m so glad I’m supporting an 🍊 hater. After all the shit he’s done my anxiety skyrockets and I come to your page to try and help calm myself down with your fics. You don’t know how much you’re righting helps even if it’s just for a little while. Thank you so much for your page and all of your positive and out of pocket horny posts 💕💕💕

Sorry that got serious there

yeahhh, i can see the relief!!!! i try not to reblog too many political posts n that kinda thing because i know 1. people come online to escape that thing, but also 2. i will literally just reblog all that kind of stuff. tbh i'll reblog a bunch of things regardless of content PERIOD bc im a lurker at heart okay, n im also kinda used to spamming my thoughts in that way from my decade on twitter lmao

so it would be overwhelming if i didnt limit myself😂 but also i want people to know my opinions for both their comfort and also for mine so that way those with opposing opinions can get tf outta here🫶🤣

so relatable though, and im sending you n everyone else who is also experiencing all this anxiety much strength🫶 these are very scary times that, although i've been expecting it ever since his first term, does not lessen any of my anxiety this time lol. so crazy though seeing my own family admit that he was a bad choice to put in😂 my mom denies she ever said she wanted him in!!!!! (she doesnt vote, but that doesnt stop her from expressing her opinions lol) i wonder if my grandparents n dad will still be jumping for joy by the end of his term? mmm🙃

anyway. thats a whole rant i will not go on LMAO- but i'll finish this ramble with saying that while i am a little bit sensitive to what i reblog as well because i know some sites are picky about expressing your opinions (lets just say twitter (users) hated me a bit LMAOOOO) im also not really on here a lot unless im posting, responding to asks, or checking my dms so im not the first to share these things n i know my posts are infrequent so i dont want to drown what, like you and some others have expressed, is an escape or enjoyment to them.

but. this is a safe space. n like i said i do try to express these things more than i worry about anything else. that's most important to me. i want to make sure my stances are out there for my sake, as much as yours, because this is also my safe space n my little escape. this blog is a small piece of me, and it reflects that as much as reasonably possible.

ANYWAY. BACK TO THE LESS SERIOUS STUFF LOL

yeahhh tbh i'll be honest i dont interact with the olba fandom too much!!! i havent been in fandom in recent years, but i try to like any posts i see. which tbh isn't much because my tl is mostly sims LMAOOO thats what i used this blog for at first (as well as haikyuu when i was into it heavily, hence sugar-omi, because sakusa is my favorite n we share that nickname <333333 (yes i made my friends call me omi bc of him. idc. its CUTE!!!!! but they all call me nae so😂😂 its fine bc that's my most treasured nickname<3))

n you know sebastian is my pookie for life <333333 i love him, i've loved him before i even started playing stardew LMAOOO

i hope yall are enjoying stalking my likes. theyre such a whiplash because its a mix of sims, aesthetic things, stardew, olba, politics, some poetry/relatable to me things, memes, smut, smut, smut, and an array of games/vns i follow n animes im into😂😂

sometimes i just use my likes to save sims posts that i wanna download later when im on my computer or when they release publicly lol so, i dont imagine my likes will be that interesting since ive been most active in liking and reblogging things these last 2-3 days than anything😂🫶

anyway, im glad my writing brings a bit of relief and my degenerate posts hopefully bring u some joy and laughter😂, please take care of yourself anon🫶🫶

[nikatyler]

So, let the final Myri spam begin! I took over a thousand screenshots so let me pick some for you. What have I been up to these past three days, besides screaming?

Well, first off, killing enemies in very satisfying successful ways. Wish I had a video of this tbh, the guy just fleeeeeew

Hugged the vampire a lot while it still made sense for their relationship...

This set the tone for her entire day, tbh.

And so we descend.

In his defense, that was a 30 dc 💀

Not even gonna get into this part because ughhh. I have so many thoughts we'd be here forever. Let's just say that he says some ugly things here when you talk to him after Sebastian, and I hate to say I kinda get it. I'm not happy about getting it, but I get it.

Excuse me while I take a break to scream again

Before I post a hundred more pictures of just his face in there. I wanted to try something. I temporarily separated him from the party. Enjoy this picture. He looks so silly alone on the elevator.

Hey asshole

"I always get what I want" a tummyache and dance fever? As you wish sir, as you wish! Anyway...bring Astarion and his ghoul boyband in!

No seriously who farted. Cazador would like to have a word

Alright, no more farting jokes. We're off to a great start, aren't we?

We're not gonna talk about how I picked something else first and he left our party, oops 💀 Time for the persuasion check! To be honest, I was like, if she rolls high enough, I'll change my plans but…oh yeah, nevermind, not happening.

(x)

[laugtherhyena]

By "ask me about SDRA2 characters", I'm gonna assume you mean literally sending a question through the ask box, so yes. I would like to know your thoughts about these characters. Even if it is barebones.

Tbh, I'm most interested in your thoughts on Mikado and Syobai. My favorite assholes, tbh. Hibiki and Shinji, too. (I would ask about Teruya, but I feel like through the few times we interact and your recent DRA character opinions that I have yet to finish reading, we've gone over how badly Teruya was underutilized and hurt his character through the writing to the point that we might as well be beating a dead horse. Let's let that man rest.)

Yes i did meant via inbox stuff👍 + my thoughts on Teruya are all on the other post because he is the same dude so I don't separate the Dra him from the Sdra2 one or something like that

Onto the characters asked, i gotta be honest man i do not have a semblance of care for Syobai. I didn't care about him back in the day when i was super into Sdra2 and i still don't give a fuck about him now, this is quite literally all i can say about this character opinion wise.

Mikado is in this same imense indifference limbo too but leaning towards me kinda liking him a little tho that's mainly because;

A) I have a friend who liked this guy immensely when we were younger and because It liked him so much and talked about and roleplayed as him all the time part of that liking sorta rubbed off onto me and i still think he's a little neat because of that friend.

And B) I do really like the twist of the mastermind being revealed at the very start of the game and through the whole thing you just have this guys everyone fucking hates that keeps annoying them all the time. Fucking hilarious and i do like how it was executed in game with Mikado even going as far as abusing his mastermind powers at times just to fuck with people (Thank you so much for killing Nikei Yomiuri, i should stan him solely out of that fact-) + I'm really glad there wasn't any "actually the real mastermind is this other character!" Twist at the end like some people back in the day used to theorize Tsurugi was the real mastermind because i feel like that would have just ruined both of these characters for me.

And about Irl Mikado,, eh, no opinion really. I know they're different people but i really just tend to think of Ai Mikado whenever someone talks about him, it's not that i forget the real one, is just that i have less thoughts on him than the few ones i got for the Mikado we see through most of the game.

Now onto the nicer people in this ask, Shinji actually used to be one of my favorite characters in Sdra2 alongside Emma and Kokoro when i first got into the game and while I don't like him nearly as much as i used to i still have a soft spot for this big guy and i like him quite a bit, tho that's mostly just general liking than for any specific reason + I'm certain that his death was what started my burning hatred for Nikei, so there's that.

And Hibiki is in a similar vein as Mikado but instead of the liking coming from specific friends liking the character a lot in Hibiki's case it comes from sorta the fandom as a whole? I'll see fanart of her it people discussing her character and I'll be like "Hibiki :]!!!!!" And i do think she's a pretty interesting characters so yeah, i like her quite a bit.

[nightglider124]

Titans: Season 4 - Ep7 & Ep8 - Thoughts

Okay, now that I have watched the episodes multiple times (actually just the good bits tehe), I have overall thoughts and I thought I would share them!

I’m gonna try and focus on the stuff non dickkory related buuut if you catch me slipping, soz. I have always been very vocal about my priorities in this show and they are in the main three.

Episode 7: Caul’s Folly

The bit at the beginning where they like said bye to Jinx, I found kinda sweet. I still feel like she is going to pop up again. I don’t feel like she is proper dead... Maybe I am wrong but I haven’t seen anything to say the actress wasn’t returning for part 2 or anything. I would personally prefer if they kept her dead moreso cos I don’t feel she has any more of a part to play in the rest of it but yeah. At first, I didn’t think they were even gonna mention her and then Rachel did and I was like lmao okay cool. Glad that was cleared up. XD

Honestly, they’ve done such a good job of getting the vibe of bonkers cult for the Church of Blood like it’s so full of whackos but it all feels so believable tbh. I like Sebastian; he’s an interesting character and villain. I’ve always liked the Brother Blood storyline in all media forms through the years and this is no different.

I AM MISSING GAR TERRIBLY ALREADY. I proper felt his absence and I HATED IT. Like I get it, we’re gonna be getting a whole ep for my boy but like I miss his cute little face. Gar woulda been a mood if he was in the town with them. GOD. I can’t wait to see him again soon.

Conner... my guy. I fucking hate you this season. I get the Lex thing and what they’re going for and Joshua Orpin does phenomonelly as he makes it believable but FUCK ME. I am tired of his superieor bullshit XD. Like when he started blaming Dick for the plan going south, I was like are you for real and then Dick being like well fuckface we had a good plan but it went to shit cos of your dumb ass. I was like FUCK YEAH, TELL HIM DICK! I need Conner to not be a douche for much longer cos it’s grating af.

In addition to that, it was cool to see Mercy again. I was surprised since I don’t think anything had mentioned her making an appearance. Still hate her character but it was a cool little moment.

MY GOD. The whole interaction with Roberta was my absolute favourite. When she like inhaled Kory, I was cracking up and I peeped Dick’s smiling eyes ever so slightly when she did it. Hilarious. I loved it and I loved Roberta. 

I really REALLY love the clothing department for all the outfits but... my baby girl. Every outfit was a slay. OH! AND THE FUCKING JACKET!! IT SAYS WE <3 GAR AND OBVS THATS A NUDGE TO THE ICONIC SHIRT?? I really adored that little easter egg to the comics. Muchos appreciated.

I LOVE TIM AND BERNARD. They’re little idiots trying to figure shit out and I’m a sap for it tbh. AND GUUURL, they gots their own motel scene. I was like Yaaas TIM, go get your boo. I really like their relationship tbf. I was smiling through like all their scenes, especially at the motel.

Dick getting the shit kicked out of him in the police station made me physically wince; the fight-acting was amazeballs but ugh my boy, I was like bro, you’re getting fucked up. I get he obviously does not have the Nightwing suit with him but dang man, you got knocked about like a ragdoll.

I like the pace in this first episode; it brought me straight back into the flow and action of the season rather than acting as filler bs, at least I felt. 

-----

Episode 8: Dick & Carol & Ted & Kory

This episode killed me dead because of the dickkory; I just wanna get that out straight away cos... my god. It was glorious. These thoughts will be including DK cos how can I not; half the episode was them.

That frickin bedroom scene... them freaking and then Kory being like did we sleep together? And Dick is like NO. No? It was so funny; I was cackling. The comedic and the seriousness and the romance as well... it all worked surprisingly very well? Like it felt in the middle of chaos but it works?? I loved this episode more than maybe any other episode in the show. 

THE WEDDING RINGSSS. I just wanna say, they got changed. They didn’t need to keep them on. Maybe yes because they’re keeping up the appearances but PLS they both looked real comfy with wedding rings js. Some of the shots also really felt like they were intentionally showing them off. Maybe I was imagining it but some of the shots felt very pointed. Loved it.

Their outfits. THE OUTFITS. Barbieland could never. I just... they were so opposite to Dick and Kory but they looked so fucking cute. I wanted to die. It was the best thing ever. 

OH! THE MUSIC IN BOTH EPISODES FUCKING SLAPPED. The town knows how to do a playlist, ite? I was vibing for a lot of the time to the point I had to rewind bits cos I wasn’t paying attention. 

The scene with Sebastian cutting Rachel had me raging. Like, bitch lemme cut you and see what you think. Step away from my GURL. 

The scene where Dick has bought the recorders... I found Kory hilarious with her ‘Peak daddy bullshit’ line but aw, omg I felt bad for Dick like his poor face he was like, I’m just trying to save us :( It’s rare Kory proper loses her shit with him so I was like oh, this is not nice. I got her but also like he trying. 

Inhale... guys... them recording their memories... Kory’s had me sad. Anna’s voice was so sad like it was great. 

In addition to that... my poor heart when Dick came downstairs and Kory had turned into Carol like full pelt... I was like noooo. His face is like no.... no no no. Brenton does Dick’s facial expression just so damn well. 

POOR CAROL!KORY. She was so fragile all like oh im sorry, did I do something wrong. And, I really love how Dick went from yelling at her cos boy is frightened and frustrated but then softens and is like no, it’s not your fault, its mine. And yes, I adored the hand holding and promising not to leave her, even if it was her Carol self. But, I agree with others on that; Dick’s face was sad cos he knows its not Kory doing it.

KORY HEARING WHAT DICK SAID ON THE TAPE AHHHHHHHH. Im so mad tho. Like he loved her since season 1 what the actual fuck man. Which, actually makes sense why he backed off in s2 and s3 cos like Kory was the one who put it out there about them figuring themselves out before they attempted anything romantic so maybe Dick took that as she wasn’t into it as well as like the not going to San Fran with them? Which makes me sadder. Like giving her space and time but really being like i luv you Kory. UGH. IM SICK.

The radio room was grim; Dick just walking around in these blood pipes like its nothing like even Rachel was like gross dude. Dick just walks out after like nah its fine; I’m covered in some randos blood but its all good.

TEHE the last bit where Kory says about it not being the painful memories. He 10000% now knows she listened to his tape and knows he loves her. Like pls.

Ugh Conner... what are you doing and why do I feel like you’re gonna fuck shit up again, ya little douche. He best not cause any harm to the other Titans with his stupid ass antics. I swear to Jesus. 

That’s all of my long winded thoughts for both episodes! Can’t wait for next weeks and we get to see baby Gaaar!!

[missjessefantastico]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Starting a new thread bc the original was getting long

Thanks so much for the tag to the bestie @reallyreal-madeingold

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 5

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 54,497, going to get way longer once i finish and post paper dolls, which i'm still working on but yet...

3. What fandoms do you write for? i have only been writing for btvs these days, i once wrote a sanders sides fic i never got around to writing the sequel for bc i went thorugh a years long period of burnout

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? this is... basically just a list of my ao3 fics lmao

Shelter - sanders sides. it's a human au where roman is trans an tbh i don't really remember the plot, sorry lol. it has light analogical tho

Paper stars, empty caskets - btvs. it's the start of my vamp willow origin story and it's the most canon compliant part of the series

Paper cloud, open windows - btvs. second part of paper stars and uh... remember those kids that got possesed by hyenas? this is about the blonde girl and vamp willow kissing (kinda)

Paper butterflies, something amiss - btvs. third part of the vamp willow origin story, it deals with some flashbacks about jesse willow and xander, but also about some of the things we didn't get to see vamp willow do in part 2

it was an hp fic so here's a link to donate to help trans youth instead

5. Do you respond to comments? yes, i love them, i in fact eat them yum yum

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? paper butterflies for sure

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? it depends on what you want from happy, shelter has a hopeful ending, paper stars has a gory yet cathartic ending imo, paper clouds... well... it has a fade to black but i promise you they were very happy

8. Do you get hate on fics? i don't think so, the closest it ever got to it was when i was posting one of my original stories to a forum and someone gave me recommendations, but it was very constructive and polite

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? does it count if i never actually write it down? lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i don't think this counts as a crossover, but i used to write rpf for was used to be my favorite band and i would just... insert other famous people in it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i feel like i have but im not entirely sure. i remember a friend helped me with a chapter of an rpf fic so i just added her as a cowriter, then when i started to write another fic she just assumed she was a cowriter for that one too? i never finished either of those fics and they weren't on ao3 tho

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? to write? whatever fits the story i guess, but otherwise i just like almost any willow ship, she can do whoever she wants and i will support her

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? can't think of one, the ones i abandoned are better off abandoned and the other unfinished story i have is paper stars and i do intend to finish that one

16. What are your writing strengths? by virtue of "i just re-read a scene of paper clouds where heidi is spiralling and i liked it very much", im going to say that writing spiralls is my strength

17. What are your writing weaknesses? dialog, idk how to mix it with inner thoughts, working on it tho

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i like it, i havent done it in a long while but im not against it, i think it's cool

19. First fandom you wrote for? it's either that band i mentioned earlier, or phineas and ferb, except i never posted the pnf one and i did end up turning it into an original story (that i never finished)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? so far it's paper clouds, idk if paper dolls will surpass it, i'll have to wait and see bc my love is getting stronger

this is very long so these tags have even less pressure than usual: @haikyuupaladin @meddlelyn @juniperhillpatient @mrsmarymorstan @sinomin @siriwesen and anyone who wants to do it, tag you're it

[cursedzucchini]

Like Bruce Wayne but stronger - chapter 1

So this is something really fucking dumb.

This is basically Bruce Wayne x oc, but the oc is basically Bruce Wayne but w more kids, more emotionally mature and with own set of problems. It's also pure crack, so..

Uh this is the first chapter i wrote and i made a poll if i should post this here, since i know I've been posting only dp x DC, but tbh it was dumb decision. Like the poll is right, this is my own account.

In this one, I'm going with duke being the last to be adopted, since I'm not familiar with Harper or other potential b's kids. Also the timeline is Jason is kinda ok w his fam rn, it's just sorta awkward, and everything is pretty ok.

Alright enjoy!!

Maybe Bruce would’ve enjoyed events like these more if he didn’t take his kids along.

Yes, he wouldn’t be thrilled to attend, but maybe it would still be more tolerable than a fight with Bane for example. Rich talentless assholes giving other rich talentless assholes awards for doing nothing, would never be on the top of his list of likes, but still better than getting the shit beaten out of him.

With his kids there though? He’d rather have emotionally open conversation than this hell.

“Hey, hey B, I think you might win this award!” Stephanie (and she wasn’t even his kid (legally. Emotionally though? That was a different story), and who even invited her?) whispered gleefully. Duke choked down his laughter, just as the rest of the gaggle unapologetically started laughing. Bruce could see the other guests glancing at them, disgust and curiosity mixing in their faces. He really wished he could take back his decision to extend the invitations to his whole family.

The moderator, with no knowledge of this torture going on, continued with his speech “…and even if none of the winners won’t be able to pick up their price, we will donate the money to charity. So please give a big round of applause for the Gotham's most unstable” he paused, to give the moment more suspense, and damn it, why did they have to change the categories this year? “Red Robin!”

Bruce really hated, that for a moment, he really thought it might be him. Jason (and wasn’t it surprise that even he turned up) was already teasing Tim, as the rest tried to quiet their laughter as to not catch even more attention than they already did. It didn’t help the host continued with several stories which only confirmed the audiences vote.

This year the Gotham’s Best decided to change some categories. That seemed like a great idea, especially when most of the categories were poking fun at the guests, right until his kids started pointing out how most of the categories about… unstable people would probably be won by Bruce if the truth about him was known.

It didn’t help the moderator was making it very easy to make fun of the guests. It was obvious he was there for the people watching from their homes and not to cater the rich how amazing they are.

At first Bruce wasn’t even complaining, his kids were happy, they were having good time… but after three hours of relentless bullying, he had enough.

“And now, for the last category of the evening!” the host’s words gave him the hope he almost lost. Maybe he could survive this with only few more insults and then finally go somewhere, where his children won’t reach him “And this one is going to be surprise even for me folks!” the moderator winked at the camera.

A woman in beautiful red dress walked across the podium to give the host an envelope. That unfortunately gave his children time to chat “You think it’s gonna be the biggest emo?”

“Nah I bet it’s gonna be the best rated goon in Gotham. I hope Bill’s gonna get that one”

“It’s gonna be who adopted the most children”

“Oh my god, what if it was—”

The host answered Bruce’s prayers and continued talking, his eyes glued to the envelope “Well, well, well, we are having a truly special category” he looked back at his audience, a special gleam in his eyes, reminding the billionaire way too much of his children’s “I know all of you are very tired, so without further ado; the last category of this year is-”

“Gotham’s Best Adopter with the highest count of adopted children!”

Bruce took it all back, he wanted to die.

The whole room turned towards him and his gaggle, and he couldn’t help but wish he didn’t take all of his children. There weren’t any of the usual categories he won, and Gotham’s Best wasn’t Gotham’s Best without at least one award being won by him. He should’ve expected this.

Fuck.

His children obviously took this better than him, given their laughter and choked out ‘Tim how did you know-’. Bruce wished he could share their joy.

“Now, I understand we all have one particular person in mind who could win this one, but let’s not be too hasty in our judgement” the host continued, ignoring how most of the attention stayed on the Waynes “But more about this category! There were several conditions that had to be fulfilled in order to qualify” The moderator unknowingly gave Bruce hope. Maybe he was disqualified somehow…?

“First none of the children had to die by fault of the parent” the giggles quieted a little, only Jason kept laughing, even if little forcefully. He quickly signed ‘B still qualifies, didn’t die because of him’ and oh. He didn’t blame him for his death (even if it was his fault. He should have never make Jay the Robin. He should had-)

“Second of all, their criminal record can’t have a murder nor any other heavy crime in the time of taking care of the children” the host continued “and lastly all the children still have to be in contact with the parent!” his smile had become a little manic at this point, and Bruce was starting to worry about a potential rogue. He definitely had the love for drama (but so did he and his family, so maybe he was going to end up vigilante).

The moderator started eagerly opening the envelope “And I am sure all of us cant wait for the big reveal, and I do not plan on making you wait any longer” he took out a folded paper “Gotham’s Best Serial Adopter is…” his eyes hungrily took in the contents of the paper…

“The fuck is this bullshit?” the moderator was frowning. Bruce quickly shook of the surprise of someone swearing on live television and tried finding out what was wrong. The producers were waving at the host to continue talking, but he ignored them, instead turning the paper in his hands. When he didn’t find anything he looked at them, haughty frown on his face.

“I mean yeah sure, Brucie Wayne adopted few kids, but I know someone who adopted so many more”

What.

The crushing despair at him actually being the one who supposedly won, was quickly replaced by elation (maybe he didn’t win after all), which in turn was replaced by umbrage. Which he promptly locked inside his Box of Emotions we Do Not Touch. He was not feeling offended by someone insinuating someone adopted more children than he had. That would be absurd, childish and weird.

The producers, in a moment of Bruce’s weakness, managed to get on the stage and were now arguing. The hall started filling with whispers, which unfortunetly gave his children a chance to start talking “Y’all think this is B’s soulmate?” Dick asked innocently, which made the rest of the group start giggling uncontrollably.

Bruce tried to ignore them, but when Damian turned to him with a serious expression and asked him to not ‘unite with the other’ because he ‘did not need any more idiotic siblings’, he gave up and put his head in his hands. If this was any other situation he would laugh along with them, because Damian making jokes was so rare, but. But.

His moment of despair was interrupted by the host finally addressing the disbelieving crowd “It seems that the management forgot not only rich folks exist and didn’t check if there wasn’t anyone with more children. That being said, sorry Brucie, no award for you this year! Instead I will reveal the true winner in about a half hour, when the program will continue” he bowed and walked out of the stage, already taking out his phone and making a call.

Bruce almost didn’t remember to make a dumb happy go lucky smile and shrugging as if saying ‘well what can you do’ for the cameras, so lost in his own thoughts. The producers surprisingly approved of this change, which means the other ‘serial adopter’ had to have at least two more children than himself. Given there are some rumors about him adopting Stephanie and Damian not being his blood son and actually just being adopted, you could add another two, which means… they have to have at least nine children. He had not heard about anyone of the other guests adopting any children, meaning it has to be someone probably from middle or low class. Taking into account they had adopted at least nine children and given the average Gothamite living in the middle class makes enough money to take care of two children maximum without any very shady business.

But considering the moderator said they will be here in half an hour, they can’t live or work that far from here. The problem is, the place is surrounded by low class establishment and surprisingly close to Crime Alley. And while it is possible they don’t work or live close to this hall, it is highly unlikely. Though one of the rules was no heavy crime committed while children were under the care of the parent, thus, if we go with the theory of the parent being low class, making the amount of children they take care of at once, without being in any major criminal operation, one. Considering this, it is possible the person, who won the award, is very old, and having more time than Bruce to adopt children, making their victory only logi-

“Yo B are you seriously making theories on how did someone adopted more kids than you?” Jason started laughing when he saw his expression “My god, you actually are- why did no one told me these events were this hilarious?” Bruce couldn’t help the smile making his way on his face. He really wanted to continue being disgruntled, but Jay talked to him. Maybe this event wasn’t such a pain in the ass.

“He probably came to the conclusion the winner is a grandpa” no, wait, it still was. The boisterous laugher of the children reminded him of that. He grunted, already turning towards the podium, before realizing something.

Slowly turning towards his middle child, Bruce could see his other children also noticed the inconsistency. Good. “’Grandpa’?” he asked, already categorizing Tim’s panicked expression quickly forming into something more neutral, yet still nervous.

Tim coughed into his hand “I might have an idea on who it is, that’s all” he was trying his best not to make eye contact with any of them, failing on appearing unaffected by his family’s unnerving staring “Listen it’s just a guess, I’m probably wrong anyway” he tried waving them off unsuccessfully.

And just as Bruce was about to ask another question, the host returned “Thank you all so much for waiting! Now that everything is in order, let’s finish this!” his eyes were positively glowing, and damn, Bruce was going to have to check if he wasn’t a meta later “Now the Gotham’s Best serial adopter is…” the billionaire couldn’t help but lean closer, as if that would speed up the moderator “Poppy Meadows!”

A man was pushed onto the stage. He slowly made his way towards the host, who was grinning and clapping. He was also the only one, before Bruce and his children joined. That jolted the other guests into actions as they too clapped, although not very loudly. To be honest he couldn’t blame them this time. He also, illogically, expected someone he knew and not… a normal middle aged man (and didn’t that disprove half of his theories. He could be around Bruce’s age, maybe even younger).

(Bruce ignored his children’s comments about how ‘he looks like Bruce’s tired dad look personified omg’ and ‘yo he’s around b’s age, should we really be worried they join forces and become the ultimate dad??’)

The camera’s showed every hole in the well-worn gray sweater, every misplaced hair obviously hurriedly put into a half ponytail. Bruce was suspecting Meadows was sleeping, and was awoken just for this, which made him wonder why did he even showed up. His expression and body language clearly showed he didn’t want to be here, so why…

The host meanwhile vigorously shook his hand, ignoring the scowl on the man’s face “Congrats Pops, you deserve this” Bruce wasn’t sure if he misheard, but he was starting have some idea how this whole thing actually happened “Anyway, before you can receive you generous award, I’m going to have to ask you to make a speech” the moderator stressed, before giving the still scowling Poppy Meadows the microphone.

The man turned towards the audience, took one look, looked back at the host, back at the audience and sighed. It was a long sigh, one that Bruce could relate to on astronomical level. He only heard such a sound from extremely tired parents done dealing with their kids, and that coupled with the state of Meadows’ person, made him glad he was the one to win.

Before Bruce could continue in that train of thoughts the man started his speech “First of all” his voice was still hoarse from presumably sleeping, and the bilionare couldn’t help but think it had a surprisingly nice quality to it “I’d like to thank my kids, without which I wouldn’t be here. Literally, I mean” Meadows shrugged, nerves clearly showing in his body language “this is the, uhhh” he coughed, obviously trying to find a way how to not make this more awkward than it already was.

Suddenly (and Bruce could almost see the last fuck the man could give flying away), the man straightened his back and looked right into the camera in front of him “Second of all, Lilly, darling I swear to God, if you are watching this, I will find out, and there will be no dessert for the next week. It is, like, midnight, way past your bedtime” he spoke flatly, and Bruce recognized his tone as his own, when the children get too rowdy and there is nothing else to discuss, just… somehow more powerful.

Bruce could feel his kids stiffen when he started speaking, hell even he himself froze for a moment. If he wasn’t interested in meeting this man before, he definitely was now, if only to exchange parenting tips. And didn't that make him feel like an overworked mother seeing kindergarten teacher in action for the first time.

“The guys in the back also asked me to ask all of you to stop spamming their official accounts about the mistake, they know and they’re sorry” Meadows sounded marginally more bored now, before once again turning serious “Though that reminds me, Camilla mentioned new date for the Winter celebration, so please check the chat” or not? Bruce understood the man didn’t want to be here, but making plans on live television was… well, it was hilarious and his kids seemed to agree, as they were once again stifling laughter.

Meadows turned towards the moderator “What else am I supposed to mention?” the host answered with a grin and he rolled his eyes “Ugh, I am so glad for this opportunity, couldn’t be more honored, Bruce Wayne fist fight me in Denny’s parking lot for the title of The Dad, and Nathan, you’re uninvited on the next after tomorrow’s visit”

Bruce could only blink at that, because what the fuck is going on, before he was forced back to reality by the children’s laughter and the host arguing back? “Now wait a min Pop! Why not just uninvited me to tomorrow’s visit?” did that mean the moderator was one of Meadows’ adopted kids??? Well, it made sense, how he knew about him actually holding the record, but what are the chances of that happening? How many children did the man even adopt?

Nathan meanwhile widened his eyes in very effective puppy dog eyes, but Meadows seemed to be immune “Cuz you’re on cooking duty. And I’m planning on sleeping till 11 AM, and if there is a god, I will” he raised an eyebrow at his probably son.

The younger man could only gape “I mean fair, but also Pops” he whined and then laughed when the older man lightly punched his shoulder “Alright, alright. I guess this was enough of a speech” Nathan transformed into more professional persona (which seemingly disappeared after he saw Bruce’s name in the envelope) “Thank you so much for coming here on such a short notice Pop” he took out an envelope and pressed it into Meadows hands, before grinning impishly “Buy yourself a new sweater old man”

The older man snorted, before opening his arms for Nathan to hug him and- oh. Wasn’t that something Bruce was definitely jealous of. And it looked so natural too, almost as if he himself tried to hug his kids too, they’d let him. As if they wouldn’t be weirded out, asked him if he was okay, hug him but feel uncomfortable. He couldn’t help but hate Meadows a little. How was it so easy for him to hug his son?

“And that was everything for this year’s Gotham’s Best everyone! Thank you so much for watching and well, I guess I won’t see ya next year but one can hope” Nathan bowed, before putting a hand around the shorter man’s shoulder and walking of the stage.

Bruce couldn’t help but stare at the moment where Meadows and Nathan were, lost in his thoughts. That was of course interrupted by Dick patting his shoulder “Don’t worry B, we will love you even after you lose the fight in Denny’s parking lot”

“Actually I’m still deciding, depends on if he cooks better than you” Duke added, slapping lightly Jason’s shoulder after he commented that in that case he should already pack his bags, because no one cooks worse than B, but he did correct his statement “if he cooks better than Alfred”

Steph threw her arm around his shoulder “In that case you’re not deciding at all! No one cooks better than Alfred” she exclaimed dramatically. The group started laughing again, and Bruce couldn’t help but feel warm. He… he really loved them all so much.

“Ah, I’m not so sure about that. I tasted his cooking, and it’s really good” and what was with Tim and these statements. Once again everyone turned to look at the CEO. Tim, realizing he once again fucked up, tried to explain himself “Wait, wait, it’s not what you think- just as far as I know, two of Po- Mr. Meadows’ kids work at Wayne Enterprise and one of them was causing some problems, and one day and I called them to my office and-” he stopped himself to take a deep breath “basically they noticed I don’t eat that much, and Mr. Meadows found out somehow, and started making me lunches too?”

There was a moment of silence, everyone taking in the bomb Tim just dropped on them. It, of course, didn’t last long “Well, fuck old man, I guess you already lost Timmy” Jason let out disbelieving laugh and once again the gaggle descended into chaos.

Bruce knew it was a joke, and Meadows probably didn’t meant any harm. He did noticed Tim was looking healthier these past few weeks. And he also knew the other man wasn’t trying to steal his son away, or anything stupid like that.

…didn’t mean the billionaire couldn’t add a warning when he inevitably went to meet Poppy Meadows.

Poppy my beloved lmao. Anyway in this chapter we met/was mentioned (in age order) Camilla, Nathan, Elijah (forgot his name my bad), Kim and Lilith. Kim and Elijah were only mentioned tho. I love all of them and i would also die for them.

Today was shitty. Like fuck. And it's gonna be even worse if I'm not gonna post this cringe bc of my anxiety. Thank u all for voting on my previous poll. I'm also gonna log off, to destress a little

[trashlie]

heyooo it's lil anon again 😼 sorry for disappearing for a while. hope you've been well, though! <3 i'm glad you enjoyed my shinae powerpoint headcanons, your reaction made me smile so much my cheeks hurt LMAO

on anti-hero nol, i'm actually 100% with you! i'm a firm believer in "living well is the best revenge" and i *need* to see this character heal and find peace :( </3 it's just the possibility of it hanging over his head that appeals to me; him coming close to tipping over, being aware that he could go down this path and would have all the reasons and justifications to do it, but then still choosing not to. but yeah hopefully he doesn't cross that line and becomes a dying star like you put it so beautifully ;A; what do you think of the possibility of him becoming the ceo btw? there has been some foreshadowing, but personally i don't see current nol being happy in a position like that, he hates this entire environment too much. also i just don't like the idea of him becoming a venture capitalist lmao ;; that patreon post of the trio post-timeskip and nol being dressed in casual clothes (instead of business-like like shin and kou) kinda aligns with my thoughts, but i know it's very flimsy lol. also crazy thought but walk with me for a second. capitalism being evil aside, what if in a turn of events shinae becomes the ceo instead? wouldn't that be wild for SO many reasons? listen, chances are low but never zero! 😋

re: alyssa... first of all, thank you for your detailed commentary, i completely agree with what you said about her circumstances, sexuality, need to fit in etc. and it's great that you like her and are optimistic about her, i genuinely mean it! the main reason i don't vibe with alyssa is that she uses people as stepping stones to climb higher and never lifts them up with her. for example, when she started hanging out with more people in middle school, she could've used her "improved" social standing to help shinae. she could've introduced her, been like "hey this girl is actually really cool guys give her a chance". but instead she started ignoring shinae, basically tried to get rid of her when she didn't need her anymore. yeah, she kind of defended shinae once, but that's not enough for me. you can say maybe she feared losing her new status, or was scared of her feelings, or was simply too immature, but i think she really should know what it's like to be an outcast, what it's like to be alone. and it bothers me that she basically just left shinae behind when she moved up. same thing when she met nol/soushi/dieter; she latched on to nol to benefit from his family and then started ignoring him, doing the bare minimum to not lose that connection. we've never actually seen her with soushi/dieter. i wouldn't be surprised if she's never even contacted them after becoming a trainee/mingling with the upper class. her desperate need to fit in and aspiring power are meh but understandable, but it's the lack of gratitude and empathy that just bothers me :// like these are all people who were kind to her when she was at her lowest, yet this is how she treats them? she just... takes it all for granted and never gives back? some might say she doesn't owe them anything, but to me, it's just basic decency. not to sound cheesy, but... climb the ladder all you want, just don't forget who was there for you when you were at the bottom :/ and yeah i'd still love for her to free herself from yui and grow as a person (and ideally end her comphet era), but i also wonder if there's even space for major alyssa development...

i also saw your recent post on the entire shinae dieter nol/romantic development thing fiasco and hoo boy you are so right. tbh what also really bothers me (on top of the hypocrisy and ableism) is how people tend to strip female characters of their agency 💀 like... how about we let shinae have her own preferences and make her own choices, even if it contradicts with what we'd personally do in her situation? instead of inserting ourselves via her and simultaneously centering everything around the guys??

this might ruffle some feathers. while i respect everyone's preferences, concerns, and opinions, it seems to me like some people who vehemently want shinae and dieter to be canon (or want nol and shinae to stay platonic) just... don't see the bigger picture here. like, nol and shinae are supposed to be the counterpart to rand and nessa. they're supposed to break free from yui and achieve the happiness rand and nessa tragically couldn't. in the context of the full story, them being lovers has a significant narrative purpose. don't get me wrong, i really don't believe that *all* ships need to have a narrative purpose, or that it makes a ship better, not at all! and it doesn't mean everyone has to *like* this ship, but it's important to understand that there is a reason why it's these two characters and not anyone else. i know this is very meta and i don't blame readers for not seeing the parallels (yet) because the hints have been very subtle, but once you realize it, you just can't unsee it... and sure, i don't know how the story will go, i might be completely wrong. but i'd be surprised if quim misses out on the opportunity to explore this parallel after setting it up. idk. what are your thoughts?

oh gosh, i talked so much again. alright. peace out - lil anon 😼

AHHHHH Lil Anon!!! I've missed you!!!! I hope you've been well! I got so excited when I opened tumblr and saw a new message notification because I was so hopeful it would be you! I haven't been able to pull myself together to talk about the recent episodes (which is a shame because I am LOVING them!) but I think this is gonna give me the head space to do it, now!!! Sometimes you just gotta dip your toe in and then the full brainrot goes STRONG!

what do you think of the possibility of him becoming the ceo btw? there has been some foreshadowing, but personally i don't see current nol being happy in a position like that, he hates this entire environment too much.

BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS! I'm very much with you, here. Just like I'm not into the idea of Nol being an anti-hero and his story being about revenge, I can't see him becoming CEO. I think people want it because the whole taking from Kousuke what he wants*, defying Yui's intentions, the David and Goliath of it all and I get that but - right. I want Nol to live WELL, I want him to live HAPPILY. I don't want him in a career that he doesn't love the way Kousuke has been, I don't want him in an environment that doesn't appeal to him. And maybe we're wrong - maybe there's a part of him that feels comfortable and will thrive, but from what little he's said of it, when he told Shinae he doesn't feel like it he fits in to this world really he's just putting on that mask, playing that role, it makes me feel like it's not his ideal setting. And, yes, I have considered the Patreon illustration as part of this. I know this was work for a client so we can only glean so much from it - is she really using it as a glimpse of the future? I like to think so!

But something I've been thinking a LOT about re: this current arc is that we will at some point see Nol, Kousuke, and Shinae as a team. I've always thought she's going to be that bridge, but I think Nol and Kousuke themselves are going to find their ways to peace and healing.... but it's gonna be a long road lol. But something I've been talking about with another reader is that we could have the trio set up where Kousuke acts as a double agent and Corporate World Shinae is the eyes and ears for Nol who I think may not join in the corporate world. Now, I can't be more detailed about how I think this would work because I am not a corporate person at alllll lmao but I think there's something soooo satisfying about the idea of Kousuke following the path Yui intended, but to turn around and use that power to dismantle her. Could he (and Shinae) quietly amass allies? Could he enact policy change that would somehow oppose her or her methods? Where does Nol come into this? Look idk I gotta see what the future holds LMAO but I've come to really love this idea of them being a team beneath Yui's nose, of Yui's little creation taking everything she taught him everything she instilled in him and using it against her lmaoooo

Hear me out, okay? I know right now it seems like Nol has wiped his hands of Kousuke, has said too little too late that's not changing. But Nol is under the impression that Yui loves Kousuke. He's under the impression that Kousuke has always had his needs met, that she'd do anything for him, that she has always treated him like a prince. But we know now that's not the case. We can see that Kousuke never had that warm, loving relationship with Yui that Nol had with Nessa. And with the theory that Yui has been drugging Kousuke become more and more likely, I think Nol will have a change of heart whenever things come to light, whenever he realizes that Kousuke, too, has been very much a victim of Yui, that he was denied things that even Nol had for a short time. I don't think it means immediate forgiveness, but I think Nol would be able to find a formidable ally in someone who also cannot trust Yui further than he could throw her, who has been used and neglected by her.

There's a lot I hope for with the tragic siblings lmao. Nol has always felt Kousuke was the favored one, the one lavished in love when his was taken away. But Kousuke had always felt that Nol had the easy life, that because he didn't have to earn Rand's love (because he thought Nol had once done it) his life was easy, no burden or expectations. But once they both get that out of the way, once they see how the other has lived? What could be more glorious than the two people Yui set to make enemies of each other teaming up to destroy her with Shinae?

I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!

That said I've never considered the idea of Shinae as CEO! Like Nol, I don't think it's quite something she'd want - I really just. Like the idea of Shinae helping people, but if she's going to stay in the corporate world like we think, then what would she be doing? Would she remain as Kousuke's assistant? Would she find that she has strength in something else? I'm really curious to see what her path is, because I don't know if this is going to be a "discover a strength you didn't realize you possessed" kind of deal or a "stay in this world so that you can defeat the evil and then figure yourself out" kind of thing.

Since Nol intended to follow in Rand's footsteps - was it his own empty hope that maybe he could make Rand see him for who he is, to be proud of him for once? or is it that this IS what he wants? Is that what he's going to do after prison? I'm so insatiably curious about this part of the future - where will everyone be? What are their intentions?! That image on patreon lives rent free at the back of my mind lmao like it's just SO intriguing to me, and how Nol seems so lax compared to Shinae but they're still linked to each other? I WANT TO SEE THE FUTURE SO BADLY!

When it comes to Alyssa, don't worry, I definitely get this! Like... there are DEFINITELY reasons to dislike Alyssa - I just always ask that people who dislike her dislike her for those reasons lmao like. I feel like so often she's gotten dislike simply because she "stands in the way of a ship" (which is... lmao hard to argue at this point of the story).

but i think she really should know what it's like to be an outcast, what it's like to be alone.

I think this is why I really want to see the story go to a place where Alyssa does have that fall from grace - where Sarah Lee of all people brings up bullying allegations and Alyssa's fans turn on her. Both because she has to, at some point, realize that conditional love is not going to fill the void she's trying to fill, and yes, because at some point if she's to grow, she NEEDS to contend with being alone - really alone, with only herself. I also agree that we may not have that in this story. I know I've discussed this before but it's very likely there are characters who won't see a "redemption arc". I just hope we get to see her grow, that maybe if she faces what she's been so afraid of, she'll finally see what she took for granted, what she didn't appreciate. I don't think it's likely that she'll win people over as fans lol but I guess I just acknowledge that I enjoy some really messy girls so I can't hold that against others who don't lmaoooo Alyssa is one of those characters who I think I'm as critical of as I enjoy, because what makes her so fascinating to me is the ways that she is uhhh... not a great friend, not a great partner lmaooo but I can't help but want to see her do better, be better. But I genuinely don't think it will happen unless she can find that comfort with herself.

And I guess that IS the thing about why I like her - there's something so very human about her that even if I don't approve of what she does, even if I hope for her to make changes, I understand why she is, and why she may never. But look, I acknowledge I'm a very hopeful person for some reason hah!

like... how about we let shinae have her own preferences and make her own choices, even if it contradicts with what we'd personally do in her situation? instead of inserting ourselves via her and simultaneously centering everything around the guys??

The funny thing about this is - this is how shipping has ALWAYS been. I know I was guilty of it when I was younger, too. I'm not even sure when I changed, but just that I was one day very aware of shipping debates that went "Well, I just don't think he's very masculine and I personally don't like him so I ship her with the other guy" and right like at that point... go write your self-insert fic, friend! That's clearly what you want, that's okay! Go write it! Shipping is fun and I'm not going to accuse people who get very into media for shippy reasons for reading for the wrong reasons or something, but right like... at the end of the day is it about YOUR preferences or is it about what makes most sense with the characters?

Like, I know whenever I talk about my shipping feelings I always preface that frankly, I don't think Shinae and Nol are in the place FOR a relationship right now. Nol is still trying to hide his feelings, Shinae isn't aware of hers. I think ultimately when people ship things, they ship them in a best case scenario. Like, shipping them doesn't mean I NEED them to confess and start dating right now - it means I hope that eventually that outcome may be, but I'm enjoying their interactions, I'm enjoying how they affect each other, I'm enjoying how their relationship affects the story.

And yeah! From a meta point, it's really clear that parallel has been set in motion. And definitely, shipping based on literature device is not a reason TO ship - but I think it just plays into what makes them shippable? Because yeah we see them mirroring something that was ultimately tragic, something with a ripple effect so vast it's caught all of these people in the waves, and we want to see it go differently. We see Nol falling into his father's footsteps whether or not he realizes it and we want to see him stop that, we want to see the generational cycle ended. And as a device it works BECAUSE of what they mean to each other, what their chemistry is. It gives us an idea of what Rand and Nessa were like, and we end up hoping that Shinae can be to Nol what Nessa couldn't be to Rand. What could have happened if they'd been able to be a team, if they'd been able to deal with the obstacles around them.

And that's what makes a story! If a story was meant to be about the easiest routes, the "safest" or "healthiest" routes, would there be any story? And I say safest or healthiest that way because we don't know that Dieter and Shinae WOULD be any healthier. Like, yeah Dieter is straight forward about Shinae and he doesn't have a reason to hide or deny his feelings. But by virtue of being a more well-adjusted character, it's likely to be harder for Dieter to understand or deal with Shinae's particular baggage. It's not just about if one half of this relationship is "stable" because Shinae, too, has baggage. That's why we see Nol and Shinae drawn to each other on that emotional level even when they don't realize it right away - Shinae understands Nol's skittishness, why he pushes people away and isolates himself, because she's been there. Likewise, we've see that he understands when she isolates herself, when she put her walls back up to him and he made her take them down.

There's so many things I could - and maybe will one day - write about how the thing about Nol and Shinae is that they operate on the same frequency. Dieter provides security, that's definitely true. But security is not the end all of relationships, and it's not what everyone seeks, either. To some people, that's too safe, too healthy lol.

But right, between the writing acknowledging that Nol and Shinae operate on the same frequency, how they're able to understand and accept the way the other is and the very obvious parallel to Rand and Nessa set up, it's clear that this route provides more story. Again, like you said, that's not a reason TO necessarily ship something, but the set up is done not in spite of what Dieter and Shinae could be. It doesn't sacrifice a chunk of story for nothing, you know?

idk I have a lot of thoughts that maybe I'll get down one day but right, that's what it really comes down to. The parallel between Nessa/Rand and Shinae/Nol wouldn't work as well if they didn't have that chemistry, if they didn't respond to each other the way they do. It's the way Shinae continues to try to reach him even when he tries to push her away. It's the stupid way he tries to push her away but has that tendency to fold. It's the way she brings him that comfort and peace, and how he brought out of a part of her she was too afraid to ever let out again. I don't think I'd be much into the pairing at this point if it seemed to me that Shinae had no stock in it, if it didn't have pay off for her. If it was constantly being hurt with no sign of him ever changing? But she herself has made the resolution to keep trying, to find a new approach, to break down his walls like he did for her. And frankly? She's never really seemed to like things coming to her easy has she alfjkfakjfaj LMAO

At the end of the day, it's about Shinae's choices. It's not about what is healthiest, what is more stable, who has hurt who. It's about who want to be with each other \o/ It's fine to be disappointed if she doesn't end up dating Dieter, but yeah, it feels weird for the discourse to end up being "Dieter liked her first" or "He's more stable" instead of it being "Oh no poor Dieter, it looks like Shinae has developed feelings for his friend :(" or something that allows her to have her agency.

(Also I hate the "so and so liked them first" because it also removes the agency of the other person. Dieter liked her first, it's true, but if he wound up liking his friend, and his friend wound up liking her, does that mean they can never be together? Dieter will not be hung up on Shinae for the rest of his life, I am sure. In the same way that Dieter has been comfortable and secure for Shinae, I think she was similar to him, too. She made him feel seen. And there will be others who will make him feel seen, too. His heart will heal and he will be okay. Acting like it's a cardinal sin for Nol to have inadvertently developed feelings is so afljkakfjjkaf? If he could control his feelings that way, then he would have used to that control to not care about them like he so badly wanted to lmao. If he could control his feelings, he would have done everything in his power to stop! alfkjkafkjafjkf see this is why I'm gonna wind up writing an essay one day. YOU THINK NOL INTENDED TO FALL FOR SHINAE?! He only just realized that's what's happened lmao you think he schemed for this? You think he pointedly did things to make her like him so he could "steal" her from someone she isn't dating? YELLS)

[icerosesummerbracket]

In honour of renaming my cat after her, here's my top 5 favourite Isebath Moments TM

no.5 - the awkward little conversation she has with Bella and Fennel in book one. Remember the times when we geuinly thought that the children of light could be like a very dyfunctional, but loving found family? ,,,,,,,,yeah,,,,,,,, tbh, I kinda just glossed over this scene the first time I've read it, I mean, it's like 8 lines max, and it's just Isabeth awkwardly asking whether the two kids are okay ( which is like,,,,take a wild fucking guess babe), but also ISABETH ASKED IF THEY WERE OKAY!!! She used to CARE. And then she kills their dad a hundred pages later, and starts being mean to them, but that's irrelevent : )

On that note, no.4- biting a peice out of Roscuro's neck. This scene is iconic even without further examination, I mean, bitey women <3 But also, she's pinned down  and her first instinct is not to burn him, or try to TURN INTO LITERAL STEAM (though to be fair, we first see her do that in book 3, so maybe she couldn't do that previously?), but no. She bites him. We dunno why for sure, but I think it says a lot, that she's about to ptentially die, and she STILL doesn't use her magic, she's THAT uncomfortable with it. Obviously there's the childhood backstory element to why, but I also think she hates herself for not having light magic come natural to her.

No.3- the confrontation with Etienne. If "trying to suss out whether traitor or not" why "homoerotic tension"??? Hmmm??? I don't even ship them all that much, but this scene >>>

No.2- Radiance cutting her hair. This scene gives me major Tangled vibes tbh, but also it shows their relationship dynamic so well!!! The TRUST Isabeth puts in Radiance's hand to snip snap around her neck with a sharp object, it's motherly, especially cuz it's implied that Radiance has always cut her hair, but also just,,,So Wrong. I wanted to throw up the first time I read it- the tension, the eerieness, the unease- it's so well executed. Really conveys that nothing is insignificant, with the over-description of every minute detail, focusing on everything Isabeth feels- the only sense that she doesn't seem to utalise is sight.

And no.1- the prolouge of book four. I know everyone loves the prolouge because of all the Tragic Backstory we get for the children of light, and I'm no different, what a way to kickstart things,,,,the transition from small child Isabeth standing in front of the ruins of her family home just before Radiance finds her, scorched and trembling, choking out one apology after the other, trying to convince anyone who hears her (no one does) that she didn't mean it,,,,TO HER AS AN ADULT STANDING IN FRONT OF THE RUINS OF A HOUSE SHE *DEFINATELY* MEANT TO BURN DOWN,,,,,ugh, the day I see this on the big screen is the day I'll be able to die happy

WOOOH FUCKED UP WOMAN MOMENTS!!!

also at no.5, it's fine that she killed their dad actually bc he was a bitch.