#tbh I'm not saying don't do this ever. I just think it's worth trying out the idea of oh it's kinda bad. keep going anyway

[chaddicus]

sorry lol I just agreed with that post so much and it got me thinking tbh. I think a lot of us have gotten into a habit of looking at a story so critically, trying to sniff out plot holes and 'bad writing' in a way that misses the fact that the point of a story is to tell a story. I feel like people forget about suspension of disbelief in their mission to analyze a work sometimes. I do think there is a place for in-depth meta analysis of a work, I think it's just as much a worthy fandom experience as any, and maybe that post wasn't even meant to criticize people doing that sort of thing at all, but I just. I think a lot these days about how much more enjoyment I get out of a thing when I decide to watch or read or play it with the intention of just letting it be what it is and not trying to fucking grade its quality or something. you don't have to rate and review everything you do. sometimes you can go 'oh they could have written this differently. but this isn't that version of the story' and then just carry on and not let that other version of how things could have gone haunt your experience. sometimes you have to go 'wow that was kind of dumb' and then just integrate the understanding that the thing you're watching/playing/reading is gonna be kind of dumb sometimes and keep going anyway. and it won't always work out this way, but sometimes you're gonna get a lot more entertainment and joy out of a thing by doing that than by keeping score in your head of the things it's doing 'wrong' or whatever, and I think enjoying a thing for what it is can be a much better use of your time than criticizing it for what it isn't, you know? we're not all film critics. we're not all book reviewers. we don't always need to give a measurement of the quality of everything we experience. you can just experience it. you know?

[g3llyfish]

Hey I wanted to request something funny.

Like redson and macaque ( separately ) kidnaps one of mk’s friends, fem s/o and they start laughing ( not like mocking them ) but more like ( I can’t believe this happened ) while saying “ no no I’m sorry..it’s just..this is the most effort a man has ever put into me 😂 “

Idk i thought it was funny in my head 🤔 hope this was okay

"DELUSIONAL"

Redson x FEM! reader x Macaque (Seperate)

Either platonic or romantic

Redson and Macaque judging the reader, Reader being delulu, MK just wants his best friend back TT

NOTE:

MY FIRST ASJ AAA Tbh, it can also be considered as GN!reader cause I mostly do second pov but I still hope you enjoy!!

🔥 || REDSON !!

It has been a few week of him trying to defeat the noodle boy to get his staff

As expected, he fails again and again, machines after machines being crushed by that stupid staff and that stupid monkey boy

Knowingly that there's no use for his machines since they only go to his scrap corner

Until an idea pops up in his big demon smart boy brain

What if he kidnaps someone who is dear to MK and bargain them for the staff!

I mean, if that stupid noodle boy loves his friends so much he would do everything to get his best friend back!

Brilliant! Amazing plan even!

Meanwhile, you were hanging out with Mei and MK in the anti-gravity arcade, having the greatest time if your life

Until the ceiling broke down...

You were immediately grabbed by the demon bull clones and tied up so you wouldn't escape.

     "Redson?! Get back here with our best friend!" MK shouted at the bull prince who has you in his arms as you struggle.

     "Never! Catch me if you can, noodle boy and dragon horse girl!" Redson yells back as he laughs dramatically and surrounds him, you, and the bull clones with his fire to teleport away.

     Now you are hung from the ceiling in his lair, if that's what you like to call it considering the lava pool, tools, materials, engines, and many more are laying around the gigantic room.

     "Let me go!" You demanded "What are you planning now, Redson? Y'know MK is gonna MK.O!!™ you again right?"

     Redson scoffs a laugh, lifting up his welding mask to look up at your hanging state as he puts down his blowtorch.

     "After I finish my invention, we will go up to the mountain where my father was imprisoned..." He started to monologue "and then... I will exchange your life for the staff! ...that noodle boy cares for you so much that he will give it to me willingly! And once I have the staff is mine... MY FATHER WILL GAIN HIS POWER AND BE THE GREATEST RULER OF THE WORLD!"

     Redson's dark and overdramatic laughs echoes through the room as the lava's light reflected behind him, creating a giant menacing shadow of himself on the walls.

     Meanwhile you only blink twice at him, not being effected by the intimidating aura that the prince made.

     "You think I'm worth more than the staff?" "What"

     "Well, you basically said that I'm the same price as the staff... Do you think I'm that special?" You grin at him while he was only flabbergasted by your words.

     "W-what?! NO YOU IDIO--" "I don't know, like, you kidnapping me, thinking that I'm enough to be exchanged with the staff, you could've picked Mei but you chose me!"

     Redson gave you a dumbfounded look, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration as you explain your conclusion.

     "Like, you took effort to kidnap me, you think I'm that worth of effort? No one has ever done that for me" You continue as you sniffle a bit.

     "Did-did you forget about the part where I said about my world domination?" Redson simply ask as he gives you a deadpanned stare.

     "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm just so happy right now, you think I'm worth more than the staff? You think I'm that unique?" "Shut up, you're delusional."

While he made his invention to secure his plan, you were in the background trying to make him admit that he thinks you're special

You're not what he thinks you are that's for sure, with you being a giggling mess while you're LITERALLY CAPTURED BY TYE DEMON BULL PRINCE

He expected you to be like MK and Mei, someone who wrecklessly fighting anything that move...

Not someone who is off to delulu land with quips at the back of your hand

He definitely regrets the kidnapping plan

🍌 || MACAQUE !!

After the 'stealing-wukong's-powers-from-MK' plan didn't work, he couldn't find anymore information or updates in MK's life

Macaque has to keep a close eye on him afterall, considering he is Wukong's apprentice

So why not get one of MK's best friends? He can't just lurk in the shadows

Sure, that'll work but he needs more dept and personal stuff about MK, to find something to hold him back

So while you were on your way back home, not paying attention to your surroundings that was when Macaque took the opportunity.

You took a step and before you knew it, you were falling down to the ground into a theater place for shadow puppet shows.

You landed on your back on the wooden ground, making you raise your brow in confusion cause you remember that you were walking on a pedestrian.

As you look around the place, you hear a dark echoey chuckle from behind you making the hair on your skin rise.

You stood up immediately to see none other than the shadow of the six-eared Macaque.

"Hey, doll..." He chuckles again, his grin getting wider as his shadow shrinks and he turns into his monkey form.

"Macaque?! What am I doing here?! Are you here to hurt me?! Well bad luck, monkey!" You glared at him making him smirk.

"Don't worry, don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you, I'm just here to borrow you for a while" Macaque says shrugging, getting closer towards the stage that you stood on.

"Me?" You ask in full confusion, your body relaxing as you put down your defenses.

"Mhm... You see, hiding in the shadow is not enough for getting information and I need you get me some," Macaque answers.

You pause as each side of your lips starts to slowly rise, "Me?"

"Yup, if you don't comply... then I might take back the 'I won't hurt you' part, simple, hm?" Macaque threatens with a hum.

You pause again, longer this time "me?"

"Yes, you..." Macaque sighs as he gives you a 'are you deaf?' look.

You held your laugh for a while before laughing aloud, Macaque, ofcourse felt as if you're underestimating him as he gets a little grumpy at your reaction.

"Wh- why are you laughing huh?!" "Pfft-- sorry! Sorry, sorry, it's just... I don't know it's funny"

"Funny how?" Macaque ask as he raises his eyebrow in frustration and crosses his arms.

"I don't know, you could've chosen anyone that could stalk MK for you but you chose me! Hah! I just didn't expect that someone would actually put effort on me" you laugh out.

"Effort?" Macaque questions, he wouldn't disagree with himself but he's definitely worried for your well-being.

"Yeah, I mean, you could've just sended me a text saying 'give me information or you're dead' text like my other exes, but here we are!" You continue to blabber making Macaque give you a concerned look.

"I-what..." "Yeah! I'm kinda flattered that you put so much effort on me, kidnapping me, tracking me down, watching which street I go to-- okay that's kinda creepy--" "okay, stop"

Macaque has to make you stop so he can continue his plan

He's mostly concerned about you cause who tf reacts like that?

He had to make a deal with you to proceed with his 'information gathering' plan but you always gawk at the fact that he chose you out of all people

Plan unsuccessful (?)

I'm sorry if it isn't to your expectations TT tell me criticisms if you'd like but I still hope you had fun with the fix as much as I did, love you pooksters :P

[lastoneout]

Honestly, I don't say it often bcs I know how this site is but I really do think for a lot of survivors of abuse, especially abuse that went on for years and years, sometimes the message "it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong/to deserve this" while ABSOLUTELY TRUE* isn't actually super helpful. For a lot of us there's a LOT of guilt tied into it, and even if things were truly out of our hands we will not be able to accept that we are truly blameless, at least not at first, and maybe for some of us not ever. So being told "no dw you didn't do anything wrong <3 <3 you're innocent" feels...idk like some toxic positivity style lies. It doesn't make me feel better, because I still do feel like there were things that happened that were my fault, that were in my control, even an ethicist or god or whoever could look me dead in the eyes, weigh all the facts, and assure me of my complete innocence, and I still wouldn't believe it. (Tbh, you have to be ready to forgive yourself and trying to force it early does more harm than good.)

And I occasionally see movies and shows and stuff get roasted all to hell for having the audacity to go with a different message, to offer abused characters not a platitude about how they are innocent and should forgive themselves asap, but instead say "so what if it was your fault? so what if you fucked up? you're still alive, you still have time, your mistakes(or perceived mistakes) don't make you irredeemable scum who deserves to suffer, it's okay that you fucked up, what matters is what you do next, and even if the horrible thing was your fault in one way or another or you did actually hurt people, you still did NOT deserve to be hurt in turn" because people think that is like, admitting that the person in question is at fault when they almost always aren't....but as an actual survior, I'm sorry, you can tell me I'm innocent till the cows come home and I won't believe it. What I need to hear is that even if it was my fault I didn't deserve to be treated that way. I still deserve help. I deserve to keep going. I am not forever stained by my mistakes. I deserve a future free from this pain.

I think before we look at things in this like...grand moral way where we try to make sure we're sending the most Correct and Healthy Message Possible, sometimes it's worth asking if that message is actually the one the people it's about need to hear. I'm sure for some people it is very freeing to be told it's not their fault, but that kind of message does not resonate with me. And I, as well as people like me, deserve to expirience stories about us that are cathartic, that resonate, that make us feel seen, and to not have to see everyone and their mom throw a fit because what helps us is "problematic".

Anyway this has been mulling around in my head for a while and I def have a lot more to say about the way guilt manifests in trauma born of abuse, but yeah I just feel like this is something that should be talked about when we bring up abuse narratives and how well written they are and if they send the Correct Message, because the "Correct Message" is never going to be the same for everyone. And that's true of ANY demographic you could choose to represent!

Like some disabled people might enjoy the "magically healed" trope while others find it offensive. Some trans people like stories where transitioning is easy as drinking a potion or getting a fancy futuristic surgery and some find that that trivializes their struggles. Some queer people want stories where there's just no homophobia at all, others find that a world without it feels fake and patronizing. Some women do want to read stories about how keeping hearth and home is noble and empowering and others want read about women who have other jobs and never have kids or get married. For some of us "you're beautiful no matter what" is lovely and some of us just want to be told being fat and hairy and having acne and scars and shit is normal and fine. Or, like the last post I reblogged says, sometimes "you're not a burden" doesn't hit as well as "being a burden isn't a bad thing". No one type of representation is ever going to work for everyone, and that doesn't mean one type of rep is objectively wrong and the other is objectively right.

So yeah, the next time you find yourself angry because you think a story is sending the wrong message about a marginalized or harmed group, maybe stop for a second to ask yourself if it's actually harmful...or if you're not the person who the story is speaking to, and if there's someone it is talking to who desperately needs to hear what it has to say.

(*Getting ahead of this now: Do not put words in my mouth. I am not saying that any abused person in any way deserved their abuse or was at fault for it happening, that is not up for debate. The fault is always in the hands of the person who chose to hurt them. I'm just saying it's nuanced and complicated and guilt is a huge fucking issue that survivors have to deal with all the time and it's not wrong to acknowledge that some of us are always going to feel like we did something wrong and not be eased by being told otherwise even if the person saying it is 100% correct and/or means well. I do not have time for people who are going to willfully misinterpret me. You will be blocked.)

[damnfandomproblems]

Responding to 3 anons in #5796

"I agree with this tbh. Like adults are the ones making things unsafe for minors in fandom spaces. YOU are the ones who approach minors unprompted. Minors are just minding their own business in fandom, then you all come along and bother everyone."

Predators that are adults are not synonymous with all adults in fandom. It's not the fault of the vast majority of fandom that kids purposefully bust into adult spaces and arbitrarily believe the creeps saying they're "safe" adults. It's the fault of your parents for not reaching you worth a damn and the predator. And yes, kids do fucking barge into adult NSFW spaces. None of the the ones that say they mind their business actually do.

"I agree with this post, cause like... the ones doing the most harassing are adults. I am a minor, and it makes me feel unsafe in fandom spaces. Especially when I see adults drawing nsfw of characters who are MINORS! aging them up does not excuse that gross and creepy behavior. Just stop and give us a space where we don't get pushed into a corner and called annoying. Leave our fandom spaces!"

It's gonna be really funny when you age out of your favorite characters and have a moral dilemma over the fact that you don't stop thirsting over Bakugo or whoever the fuck the minute you're older than him.

And aging up is...how time works. That's like saying no one can view anyone sexually, fictional or real life, because they were once a child. Do you realize how stupid that sounds? If you don't want to be sat at the kids table, learn how to behave rather than screaming at the main table because Aunt Milly told an off color joke and Grandpa Joe has a naked Princess Peach tattooed on his arm.

"I see people getting mad about Fandom Problem #5796, but that kind of is just proving the point? You all act like the minors are the biggest problem in fandom, but you are the ones constantly inserting yourselves and making it about you.

I see adults say things like:

- "Fandom wouldn't exist without adults."

- "Who do you think created fandom? Not minors!"

- "Minors wouldn't have content if it weren't for adults."

All are ignorant of the idea that minors are the foundation to fandom. Fandom would not exist if it wasn't for minors being interested in it and starting groups for people to join. Often times, the best artists and writers in the fandoms are THE MINORS.

Adults make the space uncomfortable by inserting themselves and putting NSFW fics and art of minor characters. Then they get pissy when a minor points out it makes them uncomfortable and go "stop invading our space!"

You are the ones trying to push minors out when we just want to have fun! Just leave us alone!

-A minor"

Minors aren't the biggest problem, no. But by food are they the loudest. You say you just want to have fun but minors have on mass harassed people that were leaving them alone simply because they didn't understand the concept of dead dove don't eat.

And no, you are not, nor have you ever been, the foundation of fandom. It has always been adults, from the very beginning when Sherlock Holmes novels gained an international fan club unlike the world had ever seen to the 1960s housewife Spock/Kirk shipping Trekkies starting conventions, mailing lists, having coalate parties for zines, and laying down the foundation we have today. Adults were the ones that got sued my lunatic writers in the 90s, and they're the ones that, 90% of the time, are buying the services or media for you to consume in the first place.

And I'm sorry, but the best artists and writers in the fandom are never minors. Exceptionally talented minors are exceptional for a reason. The rest of you sit somewhere between "average and has potential" to "would make My Immortal hide its face in secondhand embarassment." Art and writing are skills, and anyone under the age of 16 likely hasn't been writing fiction long enough to run with the heavy hitters. Considering the state of the US education system, this is an even more laughable stance.

Many minors have great potential, but acting like your the best in show when you just made it out the gate is the height of hubris.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[micahulrichdraws]

I don't think self-deprecation or concern for the person's well-being is ever going to come across well to someone saying they like what you do. Maybe I'm missing something, but there are reasons to like your art besides being miserable. Even if only the truly miserable liked your work, responding to them by pointing out how miserable they must be wouldn't feel great for them. Your art isn't giving them depression, and it's not like you're contributing to net suffering by making art with ~themes~, so it seems unnecessary to bring up. You suggested that if you struggle to enjoy life, and you make something, anyone who resonates will also struggle to enjoy life. I disagree. Some people will like it for completely shallow reasons. Some people have empathy for others' suffering. You can have a decent life and no mental illness and probably still appreciate a well-drawn skeleton. I don't know what kind of art a perfect world would produce, but any world where people are mortal is going to have sadness, and some art will reflect that. Yours isn't uniquely dark.

Sorry if you've gotten 100 asks saying this same thing. I wasn't sure based on the ones you responded to, and I just found your blog. I know it's sort of a joke, bc you do still sell art prints and stuff, so you clearly are okay with people liking your art. Tbh, I /had/ depression for a few years, so I'm not exactly proof against the theory that your art somolehow only appeals to depressed people. It seems unlikely, though. And the way you talk about your art as "garbage" kind of gave me flashbacks to the sort of self-deprecating humor I'd use when I hated myself. I don't know you or how you're doing, but that feeling made me want to say something.

You didn't just miss something, you missed like, everything I've ever said on my blog about like, everything to the point I'm not even sure this was intended for me? Like I'd break it down, point by point and be like 'no what are you smoking' but that'd be a waste of time after the 'why do you think my art gives people depression!?' part of whatever this is. Like, this is offensive levels of trying to make me be someone I'm not for the sake of a hypothetical argument against a strawman. So if, you want to take offense to who I am in case you misclick and end up here again here's an asshole enough of a response to give you a legitimate reason to find me intolerable:

Welcome to my page! I make art, jokes, and bullshit with folks to make people happy. I started doing this when I was big sad, because cheering people up cheers me up. Now, here's the crazy part: some people are very sad, and sometimes they tell me it makes them a small amount of happy, which gives me dopamine and makes me do it again. The word 'some' means 'not everyone', or even 'a fraction of a percentage'. For example, in this case, it means 'most people just like my drawings but some people get an extra lil bit out of it'. I don't take myself seriously because I know that the art world is insanely intimidating to those outside of it, and sometimes artists tend to be egotistical and condescending, a word that means 'having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority'. Naturally, I do everything in my power to avoid that, because I'm a very 'gates open' kinda person.

So, here's the WILD part: in my perfect world I would've never had depression. Now, I know, that would have been inconvenient for you as someone who passed by my page one time, and I do apologize. I also apologize that I don't make 'dark art', because I like frogs and mice doing cool shit. Finally, I apologize for my art having -~*themes and concepts*~-, I know good art only comes from ChatGPT and that was my bad.

Sike, I didn't apologize, my fingers were crossed behind my back when I said that. Fuck you for thinking me not wanting to be around for a decade is 'worth' because I drew a mediocre skeleton, and because somehow sadness is necessary. That line of thinking is so awful, here's a video explaining it:

PS: the reason my friends and I in these parts call my art 'art garbage' is because that's what my professors called it back in school for like 4 years, back when I started this shitshow. Much love.

[begrudging-fudanshi]

Do you think Sakura will go back to the old town in certain arc ?

Assuming you mean wherever his guardians live(d), I hope not tbh. Wind Breaker is a very local story for its genre—as far as I can tell, everything important happens within walking distance of Furin—so I kinda prefer it to stay in Makochi as much as possible. (I have a thing I'm writing about this that I'll post at some point.) Based on what we know, I also don't really see what Sakura has to gain from going back.

If anything happens in this vein, I would actually prefer for Sakura's past to catch up with him in Makochi. Having some old enemy appear and threaten him would be a great way to show how far he's come, as well as to catalyze his progress towards seeing worth in himself.

I started sketching an example of how I might like that kind of arc to go and it kinda turned out a lot longer than I expected, so here's... uh... actually, I don't entirely know what this is. It's like a short fanfic mashed up with the meta I'd write about these moments if they were canon. Speculative meta? Metafic? Just a weird fanfic? idk 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, not saying this will/should be canon or anything, but it feels like it gets the gist of what I'd look for in this kind of arc.

(CW: abusive parents. Sakura's dad is the villain here.)

---

When Sakura was young, his dad was a petty criminal, street thug, and an all-around horrible father. When Sakura was 7 or 8, the man was arrested and sentenced to prison. Sakura's mom wasn't in the picture, so Sakura had to go live with relatives (leading to the scenario I've described previously), and afterward he hardly ever saw his dad—their only contact was when the man came to demand money from his relatives for this or that. As far as Sakura was concerned, once he moved to Makochi, his father was out of his life for good.

One day, however, Sakura's dad appears in Makochi, searching for him. He's somehow learned that Sakura has become a strong fighter in a town full of violent gangs, so he's decided that he's going to take advantage of Sakura to build a nice life for himself on the back of his son's hard work. Thus, he comes to Makochi expecting to walk all over Sakura and get whatever he wants.

When Sakura first sees his dad on Tonpu Market Street, he freezes, caught off guard by painful memories that he's desperately tried to forget. Even though he's come a long way, it's difficult to fully let go of the past.

Suo and Nirei are with him and can tell that he's terrified. Sakura mutters to them that this is his father, but he doesn't sound remotely happy to see him. The man tells them to go away, but they stand their ground, refusing to leave Sakura alone. This pisses the man off, so he attacks, intending to teach them a lesson.

Sakura's dad is caught off guard by Suo and even Nirei's strength, but the same goes in reverse as he decides to go all out. As Sakura sees his friends struggling, he jumps into the fight, punching his dad in the face (big symbolic moment!). The trio just barely manage to hold their ground until other Bofurin members start to show up. As their backup arrives, the man finally retreats, but before he goes, he declares that he's going to get revenge. He says that Sakura has forgotten his place and he's going to remind him what his life is really supposed to be like—he'll take away everything Sakura has and show him just what he really deserves.

What follows is a campaign of revenge, carefully calculated to destroy Sakura's life and take everything he has. (A campaign that I'm not going to detail right now, because my ideas for it are depressing and beside the point.)

Let's skip ahead a bit...

Somehow all of the threats are resolved, leaving only the matter of fighting Sakura's dad and kicking his ass hard enough that he'll give up.

Just before the big, climactic fight, Sakura gets ready to face his father one-on-one, trying to stay calm and steady himself. He's caught off guard when his friends jump in front of him and tell him to let them handle the fight.

"Get out of the way!" Sakura yells at them, his voice breaking. "He's... he's my dad. This is my fight. I have to deal with this." The most important word is the one he doesn't even think to say out loud: he has to deal with this alone.

Even with so many people around him showing him that he's loved, Sakura still ultimately believes that he's all by himself. Even though he's tried to rely on his friends to prove that he trusts them, in moments like this when he feels most vulnerable, his default instinct is still to shoulder the burden alone.

His friends can all see this clearly. More importantly, they can see that this is a battle that Sakura shouldn't have to fight on his own—or at all. He deserves to have someone stick up for him, just like he's stuck up for so many others. But they know he doesn't want to hear that, so they tell him off, instead.

"Your fight? To hell with that. We all owe this guy some payback for what he's done."

"C'mon, Sakura, let us have some glory for once. It makes us feel bad when you keep hogging all the action."

"We already know how strong you are—let us show you how much stronger we've gotten, too!"

"Plus, the way this guy treats you makes us really want to kick his ass. Don't tell us you're gonna rob us of that satisfaction."

Sakura sputters in confusion, not sure how to respond. His deepest reflexes are telling him to stop them before it's too late, because this is how he's always believed he would finally lose everything. If he can't fight, if he can't prove his worth through his strength, then what is he worth at all?

This leads to a cool symbolic moment: Sakura is standing there, watching all his friends walk away from him while making it clear they expect him to stay behind. In other words, he's seeing the scene that's haunted him for so long finally playing out in real life. How many times has he pictured this and felt sick with terror and dread?

In his heart, he always knew this day would come. The day when his friends finally saw through him—finally realized who he really was and what he was really worth—and unanimously turned their backs. That would be the day he finally woke up from this dream and found himself back in his old, real life. The life he was always meant to live. Hated by all others, worth nothing but his fists, and totally, utterly alone.

Except, in reality, this scene isn't anything like he imagined it at all. His friends aren't turning their backs on him because they're abandoning him. Instead, they've turned to fight for him, to protect him, just as he's fought and protected them. Not only that, they're doing it willingly—eagerly, even—with smiles on their faces. There's no hint of condemnation, no suggestion that they're doing this because they think he's weak. They just want to help him, in spite of his belief this is his battle to fight alone.

In chapter 138, Sakura says something very telling to himself: "If I lose now, then they—then I'll lose the place where they belong, the one place that they cherish and love. I don't want that. [...] I need to win and protect them. That's all that matters." He draws these lines so clearly between himself and his friends, placing himself on the outside looking in. Now, however, that moment comes full circle with the roles reversed, making the truth so clear that he can't deny it.

As his friends stride forward, Sakura suddenly realizes, in a way that he can't yet put to words, where he really is: He's not on the outside looking in at his friends in the place that they love. Instead, as they spread out before him to form a defensive line, he is standing firmly in that very place that they all want to protect. If they're defending him like this, then they're saying that he belongs in this place, too—and if that's the case, then he, too, is someone they cherish and love.

This realization cuts deep—even deeper than words, cutting into feelings that he's held for so long that he's never even thought to try to name them. It cuts deep enough to finally undermine and start to shake his most fundamental belief. He can no longer deny that his friends accept him and love him for more than just his ability to fight. Why else would they be lining up to fight for him like this?

More than that, he can no longer deny that what they see in him must somehow be real. Until now, he's always unconsciously dismissed his friends' most meaningful praise and kindness as simply wrong. Even if they thought they meant it, he just didn't see how it could be true. When Umemiya smiled at him and called him amazing (chapter 162), Sakura had felt like Umemiya was looking at a completely different person, like he'd made some mistake and confused him with somebody else. He could believe that Umemiya meant it, but not that it truly applied to him. In the same way, he viewed all their kindness and love with that deep distrust. But here, he can't bring himself to doubt all his friends at once. They're all too determined for this to be some kind of mistake or mass delusion.

In the end, Sakura's friends work together to stop his dad, thoroughly kick his ass, and send him packing. As usual for this series, that's enough to stop the threat for good.

Afterward, Sakura probably cries and undergoes a fundamental change in how he sees himself and his place in the world. It's not like all his past trauma is magically fixed or his low self-esteem instantly gets better overnight, but he's made a big step towards seeing worth in himself.

[hepaidattention]

my chaotic obx4 part 1 thoughts.... without any order

OBX Spoilers!!!

JJ's name is Jackson............????????? WHATS HIS MIDDLE NAME

jiara is everything. they are my everything. they literally are all we ever wanted. would never complain for more kissing maybe, okay just slightly. like a kiss on the cheek even. but they are perfect. perfection.

ruthie. you don't even have to listen to jj's threats honey. because it's KIARA you should really be scared of. wrong pogue to make an enemy of.

protective jj makes me just.... ugh. he will do ANYTHING crazy and thoughtless and dangerous but if kiara wants to he's gonna be level headed and try to talk her out of it. he's a presh bean

absolutely love Kiara Carrera and absolutely hate her parents. wouldn't expect anything less from our girl, but the fact that her parents said "don't come back unless he's gone" and she said "okay bye then" and never looked back is just. I love her. I love jiara.

the writers really said "lets make jj's mom dead and oh yeah that asshole dad? not his real dad - raised him out of the goodness of his heart, then beat him. yeah but NO no no no noNO no sarah can't be his sister. the fans want that too bad."

the way kiara put up a pillow to make out with JJ (or more *wink*) in the chamber pod thingy *chefs kiss* and the way she and JJ had traded places, of course implying that there was definitely some rolling around going on in there *wink* best part imo (just woulda been better if we had seen them kiss but its fine IM FINE) I'm just a slut for some kiss scenes that's all. I honestly didn't even feel like their dynamic needs it. I just like to see that kissing content

I actually really love the dynamics this season. They have THREE couples in the main group and they've done amazing not making it feel like that, tbh. Though I did get frustrated because I COULD use a little more PDA sometimes, it also (especially for JJ and Kie) makes perfect sense for their characters. Plus, as friends first (and friends for so long), it's nice watching them get to slowly be more comfortable in showing affection beyond closed doors.

I know Rafe is crazy. really I do. but I really want him to become good. I love how this girl has seemed to help that, too. she's a pogue and he doesn't care - like he does but he loves her anyway and it's helped him realize why Sarah did what she did. being a pogue doesn't really change who you are. He also has shown remorse for hating on pogues, like the whole beach scene. I saw someone say they didn't understand the point but I think the point was to show us Rafe and his gf (forgot her name I'm so sorry girly), and show how mad she became, and for Rafe to realize maybe this whole pogue vs kook thing was STUPID and hurtful. It also seems to have to do with Topper development but I kind hate Topper so I don't care about him lolll

still not over the jiara kiss. THEY"VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 2 FUCKING YEARS.

JJ. Babe. I love you. But you have dated that girl for 2 years and have not taken her out on a date???? I know, I get it, you've been very busy building a life. BUT HONEY. tsk tsk. Treat her right, sir.

Absolutely love how soft he gets towards her.

Pope: scolding

JJ: I KNOW MAN I DON'T NEED TO HEAR THIS ALRIGHT??? I DID WHAT I DID AND I DIDN'T DO NOTHING WRONG

JB: argues

JJ: IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT ACTUALLY

Kie: scolds

JJ: you're right baby I'm so sorry I'm just trying to help

the pogues being pogues. this season feels very fanfic in the best ways. like we actually got all of them living together in one house???? all just being best buds and loving one another platonically (and romantically)???? and I'm just. I love it. it's what we all asked for and it was worth the wait (tho the wait has been very very long)

it's the way Sarah and JB put up a seashell to let them know they're busy *wink* and Kiara almost walks in and says it's getting excessive IMPLYING that Sarah and Kie are roommates. which that makes me cackle because now I think JJ and JB are roommates and Kie and Sarah are roommates but JB stays in Sarah's room so much that Kie basically lives in JB and JJs room

cannot get over how solid jiara is. they're just... they're just right. they fit. and now that they've been together for 2 years working crap out, there's no silly early dating drama. it's just JJ being JJ, or Kie being Kie, and they both know each other so well they know there's not a reason to even argue. like JJ didn't even fight Kie on diving because he knew he couldn't fight her. she's too stubborn. just like Kie knows there's no need in getting mad at JJ when he does something wreckless because he does something like all the time. she knows talking to him calmly is the only way to even reach him anyway.

JJ: does something stupid

Sarah: "your bf's doing something stupid again"

Kie: "I know this and I love him."

cannot wait to see how they all get back together, or how Kie and JJ reunite, or how Kie will react to the news, or Rafe will help with this adventure, and how JJ will meet his dad (even though I wish it was Shoupe and not the random evil dude).

Also. They WOULD give JJ a death curse. SMH.

[ghouldtime]

That anon ask about what Konig would do if his neighbor/love interest was jeopardized was so sad omg and it got me thinking.

What if they just confronted him on his distance? At that point in that scenario they have no idea he was even involved in the slightest. To them they just went through something so put of pocket and traumatic and the sweet guy they've assumedly fallen in love with has started packing his things, not talking to them so they go to him and ask if they are okay, if he's okay.

Que the tearful (but not over dramatic for the love of god) trauma dump about what happened to them and how they miss him and crafting nights. Would he come clean, so to speak? Would König still leave or would he try to work through it? Would he coldly reject them and tell them to just forget about him?

Oh hell, what if they piece it together?? Like you mentioned they saw his eyes beneath the mask and thought he sounded ever so slightly familiar, would they say anything?

Though i agree that it would be a massive reach for the whole thing to be able to happen in the first place, like you said unless there's a rat in KorTac or he some how slipped up, which tbh doubt it highly. You'd have better luck shooting a straw up the ass end of a gopher from 100 yards away. Homeboy probably doesn't even keep his gear and mask at his personal home, keeps it as far away from his civilian life as possible, I'd wager.

I'm going to break your hearts more - you don't even GET the chance to talk to him there.

Basically, your stuff is being already packed, you're being told to zip your mouth and not say anything to anyone. Your old identity is being erased, you're given a new one. They're not going to have that jeopardized because you wanted to talk to someone. You're just going to have to "Disappear". Which means new phone number, no contacting people from your old life (minus family if that's even applicable and they're feeling generous), and you're going far, far away.

As far as the world is concerned, you've fallen off the edge of it and disappeared. Giving you contact to ANYONE in your old life can jeopardize that. Trying to talk to ANYONE from your old life to reveal or ask anything - jeopardizing that. Refusing witness protection after THAT would be a really, really terrible idea and quite frankly, not worth it.

Not to mention, König wouldn't give them that chance either. You're not getting back and lounging around and having the luxury of time or goodbyes. The reality is, they're getting you out of there and you can't talk to anyone - they're already far in motion packing your things and shipping you off. König isn't going to make his appearance known, he isn't going to try and approach - you won't even see him. Your number and email are blocked, he's not letting you take that risk and possibly get another chance to be hurt because of him.

That's just the reality of going through something like that. You have to leave everyone and everything behind. You're not getting a chance to say goodbye or to confront him. That's it, what's done is done. Not his fault because that's just witness protection 101. I mean, he's not helping but he won't interfere, he knows how important it is and he wants you to have the best chance at life.

If they even tried to approach him during the initial rescue while they're still flying back to base after having been saved, he's not coming clean. He's not saying anything. He'll just deny and tell 'em to go away. It hurts, yes. But it would be even worse to have that confrontation and to put things together and have them confirmed.

"But doesn't he want to say goodbye?" Of course he does. But that only makes things harder. Like I said, he'd rather stick in your memories as the person you loved and lost due to circumstance than the person who did this to you.

What good would that do? He'd still have to leave you. You're not allowed to contact anyone and going back to him would literally just be putting you back in the ring of fire. He's not going to let that happen. That would feel even worse.

It hurts beyond anything else, but he's doing the right thing in his mind. A goodbye isn't worth tearing you up apart even more. You know in movies when someone has to let an animal go and ends up having to throw things at it and yell to get them to leave? Yeah. That's what's happening here.

There's not going to be a happy ending or scenario for this. There's not going to be closure. There's not going to be a chance with him.

Which is WHY he specifically put so many safety measures in place to ensure that this wouldn't happen. He doesn't want his work life encroaching on his domestic and he never wants to bring it back or expose you to it. Like I said, literally everything would have to go wrong. He's a careful man, he knows what the world can do. He's preparing specifically so that will not happen to the best of his ability. If he even thinks there's a compromise, he's acting. Better safe than sorry Also I love that gopher saying 😭

And you're correct! He doesn't keep his gear at home. The 'just in case' box which has some spare gear is locked up with a chain and all, shoved away in a back corner in the basement, and covered. He has 0 reason to have that stuff with him in civilian life. What's he going to do with it there? That's not to say he doesn't have weapons and guns hidden, but he doesn't have anything personal that would give his identity away. Everything work related stays at work, he's very serious on keeping them separated. If they needed to call him in, he'd have to go there anyways, so it makes sense to just... keep it there where it can be secure.

And just saying, I'm never writing that for the neighbor! Au because it's not happening. It's extremely improbable and I want to give him a happy ending 💚

[rei-ismyname]

From The Ashes - Mystique

So, Mystique has her own book once more with issue #1 dropping on October 16th. Given the state of the Marvel world at the moment (or at least the X-books, everyone else seems focused elsewhere while mutants are being slaughtered and imprisoned... again) it really feels like Raven Darkholme's time to shine.

Looks cool but feels like something's missing

She hasn't had a solo book since 2004 - 20 years - and a lot has changed since then. She was quite the breakout character during the Krakoan age - she got her wife Destiny back, she found a sort of understanding with their son Nightcrawler (and we all learned the truth of the retcon in a pretty slick way), and perhaps most importantly we got a sense of her interiority. I'd be remiss in not mentioning Rogue, but they weren't really in each other's orbits until Fall of X. YMMV, but she became sympathetic for the first time ever. We got to see her interact with almost everyone as an uneasy ally while still being her bad bitch black ops self. Not friends, but on the same team with the overarching investment in keeping their shared home working. There was a foundation of connective tissue there right until the end.

Be Gay, Do Crime?

Alas, the wheel has turned again and Krakoa is no more. The connective tissue is gone. However, out of the three people she was closest to narratively - Destiny, Kurt and Rogue - the relationship I'm truly invested in seeing more of is her and Destiny. The book isn't called Mystique and Destiny, and she's not in any of the solicits or preview artwork, but surely they wouldn't do a Mystique book without her, would they?

My favourite sapphic terrorists

Yeah, I think they would tbh. Destiny is a very complex character to write and she was so entwined with Krakoa from the start in HoxPoX due to the nature of her gift - seeing possible futures. As the narrative pulls away from Krakoa, as we look for those pieces of connective tissue, as character growth is left by the wayside or undone, the world and stories are getting much smaller. Destiny had reached the promised land and her gift was focused on survival - of the married couple and Krakoa itself. I'm just not sure where she'd fit in a From The Ashes world.

Such a strong partnership too - Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler.

The elephant in the room is that the pair are very popular and I'm pretty sure the Mystique-buying demographic would have something to say about Destiny being absent. I'm thinking the Magneto treatment is likely, some contrived way of keeping her in the margins of the run or even depowering her. We know Mystique is going to be more of a face than she's been in the past, 'protecting mutants.' That is a good thing as her motivations were often baffling pre-2019. Her behaviour was often handwaved with 'craziness' which is not good for any character, especially a woman.

Destiny in her distinctive mask is visible in this header, although...

This was somewhat explained in Fall of X that Xavier's (consensual) memory tampering knocked something loose, for lack of a better term. I'm hoping the growth we saw sticks, and I don't think that's unrealistic, it's the rest of it. What prompted me writing this was the AIPT review of the first issue. It all sounds exciting but the only other character mentioned is Nick Fury, nothing on Destiny. Any reviewer worth their salt should have a sense of expectations, and the absence feels meaningful.

Obviously this is all speculation, which is fun, though I'm not going off nothing here. I'm trying to be mindful of being the 'Krakoa was the best and this shit sucks' person, but Krakoa WAS the best and I really don't want From The Ashes to suck. I don't have any control over that, though I do have control over my expectations.

Bling! knows what's up, leaning on the fourth wall.

The last thing I think needs consideration is that the couple got the Wedding Special very recently. It was pretty good, though I thought the best parts were the Claremont interview and Anole's ongoing protest. But it was popular!

Mystique would LOVE that. Bisexual Menace for life.

He ended up putting it on a t-shirt. I need one!

As fun as it was and as much hype it got at the time, remember that it was a Pride Month thing. Ever the rainbow capitalists, Marvel picked a winning focus but I don't think they'd have done outside of Pride Month. Sadly, that might apply to their relationship as well. I think it would be a miscalculation, but the signs point to it being a solo book. As I often say in my doomsaying posts, we shall see and I hope I'm wrong.

They're just too iconic and work so well together. Don't get me wrong, good writing can make anything work. Aside from my ongoing mourning of Krakoa, WLW rep is important and for all their faults they deserve love like everyone else. Maybe a Sisterhood of Evil Morally Ambiguous Mutants is on the cards?

[chasedeys]

Hi I asked cementcornfield this a while ago and now want to pick your brain!! Are there any songs that make you think of Joemarr? (Church by FOB was delightful thank u for the rec ☺️)

oh!! hi!!!! churchhhh exactlyyyyy their song 😔🫶 tbh any song can be abt them if i try hard enough (read: make shit up enough). i'm gonna be real with you i have such shit music taste i literally don't go past the boundary of basic and whatever's popular so beware :")

love somebody - maroon 5 -> LSU joemarr figuring things out, horribly unsure of one another, halfway there already :)

But if I fall for you, I'll never recover If I fall for you, I'll never be the same I don't know where to start, I'm just a little lost I wanna feel like we're never gonna ever stop I don't know what to do, I'm right in front of you Asking you to stay, you should stay, stay with me tonight, yeah I really wanna love somebody I really wanna dance the night away I really wanna touch somebody I think about you every single day I know we're only halfway there But you take me all the way, you take me all the way

another - francis karel -> the damn opening already makes me think of them somehow playing together in lsu when joe could've gone anywhere else. like come on.

Hundred billion stars in the galaxy Passing like the cars on a busy street How in the world did we ever meet? It doesn't make sense to me I guess everybody's got someone And you're the one for me Yeah, you fit me like a locket I would never find the key If you ever leave There will never ever be another (woah oh) I will never ever need another hand to hold When it gets cold We've got each other

baby i'm yours - arctic monkeys -> :) devotion etc. also their wanna be yours and r u mine? for morbid pining too. the eternity makes me think of teemarr too graugrurhh.

Baby, I'm yours (Baby, I'm yours) And I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky Yours until the rivers all run dry In other words, until I die And I'll be yours until the sun no longer shines Yours until the poets run out of rhyme In other words, until the end of time I'm gonna stay right here by your side And do my best to keep you satisfied Nothing in the world could drive me away And I'll be yours until two and two is three Yours until the mountain crumbles to the sea In other words, until eternity

video games - lana del ray -> sex song that I've used as my fic title before lmao

It's you, it's you, it's all for you Everything I do Heaven is a place on earth with you Tell me all the things you wanna do It's better than I ever even knew They say that the world was built for two Only worth living if somebody is loving you And, baby, now you do

church - fall out boy -> sex song sex song sex song had to add it here anyway sorry but also just referencing the 'he's like a god to me' boy what.

If you were church, I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me If you were church, I'd get on my knees

the closer i get to you - roberta flack & donny hathaway -> i've mentioned the first time i ever saw your face but this song is so fucking them guys argh

The closer I get to you The more you make me see By giving me all you've got Your love has captured me Over and over again I try to tell myself that we Could never be more than friends And all the while inside I knew it was real The way you make me feel Lying here next to you Time just seems to fly Needing you more and more Let's give love a try

hold me tight or don't - fall out boy -> some lyrics hit some ?? but do you see this shit. 'were we ever friends' as in did they ever have hope of being casual about one another. holy shit.

I never really feel a thing I'm just kinda too froze You were the only one that even kinda came close I just pinch myself, no longer comatose I woke up no luck, I woke up no luck And when your stitch comes loose I want to sleep on every piece of fuzz And stuffing that comes out of you, you I got too high again, realized I can't not be with you Or be just your friend I love you to death but I just can't I just can't pretend we were lovers first Confidants but never friends Were we ever friends?

picture you - chappell roan -> adore herrr you know exactly what this song is about and if i ever get to writing a fic about this i would die

Draw the blinds, light every candle Slip off my pretty dress down my chest when I think of you Every night, both lips on the mirror It's ritualistic, counting lipstick stains where you should be Do you picture me like I picture you? Am I in the frame from your point of view? Do you feel the same? I'm too scared to say Half of the things I do when I picture you When I picture you

spaceship - ruth b -> space imagery aside, being comfortable with each other to let down their guards? taking care of one another? dragging each other out of their funk? yeah. also her dandelions song.

If I built a spaceship, would you go to Mars with me? Go that far with me? If I take you places that you've never been before Would you stay for more? When days are difficult And you want a miracle I'll build a spaceship for you 'Cause some days I run away I hope you run with me Fly away with me too, ooh And when we're all alone I hope you feel at home Wherever we find ourselves You can just be yourself Close your eyes And feel me here

higher - rihanna -> this song is so short but. do you get me. always been obsessed with this song bc you get high to forget someone only for you to circle back right to that someone ugh

This whiskey got me feelin' pretty So pardon if I'm impolite I just really need your ass with me I'm sorry 'bout the other night And I know I could be more creative And come up with poetic lines But I'm turnt up upstairs and I love you Is the only thing that's in my mind You take me higher, higher than I've ever been, babe Just come over, let's pour a drink, babe I hope I ain't calling you too late, too late You light my fire Let's stay up late and smoke a J I wanna go back to the old way But I'm drunk instead, with a full ashtray With a little bit too much to say

fireproof - one direction -> s tier 1d song and soooo very them

I think I'm gonna lose my mind Something deep inside me, I can't give up I'm feeling something deep inside Hotter than a jet stream burning up 'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe we're fireproof 'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do

work song - hozier -> i can't not put hozier in any of my ships that's crazy but they don't give me hozier vibes 😔 BUT their shit about each other absolutely refusing to talk shit about the other and accepting all their faults and constantly choosing the other?? work song babyyy. would also rec movement and his led zeppelin whole lotta love cover for joemarr 😮‍💨

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her My babe would never fret none About what my hands and my body done If the Lord don't forgive me I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me When I was kissin' on my baby And she put her love down, soft and sweet In the low lamplight, I was free Heaven and hell were words to me

lovers forever - benjamin kheng -> a proposal song btw and like. refusing to leave each other.

Do you think we could be lovers forever Can't die young 'Cause I've got to live with you Do you know what a future feels like I could see me living in your arms Wake up every day and fall in love again

call it what you want - taylor swift -> 🙂‍↕️ more ts songs for joemarr: dress, lover, guilty as sin, the alchemy, false god!!! dead serious false god another joemarr sex song. chose this one because the idea of them wearing each other's chains. hello. also: the grillz??? that hasn't seen the light of day since it's conception.

My baby's fit like a daydream Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to I want to wear his initial On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck Not because he owns me But 'cause he really knows me

i knew i loved you - savage garden -> not exactly instantly because they definitely took time to get there but. listen to ts.

Maybe it's intuition But some things you just don't question Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant And there it goes I think I found my best friend I know that it might sound More than a little crazy but I believe I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life There's just no rhyme or reason Only the sense of completion And in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for

love lies - khalid, normani -> the somewhat rocky start of their relationship being uncertain of one another?? then finallyyyyy giving each other a chance

Sorry if it's hard to catch my vibe, mmm I need a lover to trust, tell me you're on my side Are you down for the ride? It's not easy for someone to catch my eye But I've been waiting for you for my whole damn life For my whole lifetime Don't be afraid to tell me if you ain't with it I see you're focused, yeah, you're so independent It's hard for me to open up, I'll admit it You've got some shit to say, and I'm here to listen

finally // beautiful stranger - halsey -> i just love playing into the initial uncertainty/apprehension whatever of their relationship then trying to not be Like That before fully delving into sheer shameless devotion do you get me. and just the mouth that i would kill to kiss lyric argrhrgrhhrh.

I've never recognized a purer face You stopped me in my tracks and put me right in my place Used to think that lovin' meant a painful chase But you're right here now and I think you'll stay Oh, we're dancin' in my livin' room And up come my fists And I say, I'm only playing, but The truth is this I've never seen a mouth that I would kill to kiss Beautiful stranger, here you are in my arms and I know That beautiful strangers only come along to do me wrong And I hope Beautiful stranger, here you are in my arms And I think it's finally, finally, finally, finally, finally safe For me to fall

hrs & hrs - muni long -> i would say another sex song....

Yours, mine, ours I could do this for hours Sit and talk to you for hours I wanna give you your flowers And some champagne showers Order shrimp and lobster towers But it's me that gets devoured When I met you, I knew this was it I've never been in love like this A love like ours I pray for it on my knees Every night for some hours I could sit and talk to you for hours Sit and look at you for hours Makin' love to you for hours Layin' on your chest for hours Tellin' you jokes for hours Holdin' you close for hours And hours and hours

when you say nothing at all - ronan keating -> yeah corny as hell but. have they not said this before.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart Without saying a word, you can light up the dark Try as I may, I can never explain What I hear when you don't say a thing The smile on your face lets me know that you need me There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall All day long, I can hear people talking out loud (ooh) But when you hold me near (you hold me near) you drown out the crowd (out the crowd) Try as they may, they can never define What's being said between your heart and mine

[radioactivedotcom]

i get what you mean but some of us actual enjoy the game and genuinely don't have the same issues as you with bugs. Yeah there are issues. But it's still a fun game. Pissing on the people who enjoy it and are happy to pay for it isn't going to make the game better. Especially since the last few packs have been really good? Like...

EA has never cared about customer enjoyment. If the majority of people pirate the game, they aren't going to change anything about it, they'll just shelve it.

I don't wanna start a whole debate on this, so I'll answer this one ask and that's it.

First, yes, I fully understand that there are a ton of people who very much enjoy playing the game. But I want you to consider this... If someone has bought all the expansions, all the packs, all the kits... they've spent over 1 200,00$.... The sims is a great game, but it is not a game worth that much money. Or at the very least... it shouldn't be. This should be an unacceptable price tag. If the basegame came out with all the available content that exists for the sims 4, but at that price... who the fuck would buy that.

Being scared that the game will be shelved, that they won't ever make another game ever again... You're just saying, eh, this kinda sucks but I'm absolutely powerless to do anything about this, so I don't care, I'll keep participating in this vicious cycle.

It's not true though. You aren't powerless. Because EA knows they can make money out of the sims franchise for a loooong time still. And they've invested a shit ton into it. They won't give up on it that easily. If people stop buying while saying: I'm not buying because you're charging too much. Or, I'm not buying because this content isn't polished enough, or whatever else people have as valid complaints... Then yes, if enough people did that, I believe it would change EA's business strategy. They would try to make a thing so good people can't resist buying it, instead of just making trailers that seem great, but with a product that ends up not nearly as polished and well-thought-out as advertised. I don't know if you've watched people reviewing the latest expansions, but even on a technical level, no one's been impressed. Yet people still buy, so of course EA won't change their strategy.

Big companies like EA want to make you believe that there's nothing you can do even though YOU'RE THE CUSTOMER, it's YOUR money, and you DESERVE a product worth that hard-earned money. Same way companies never want their employees to unionize, and the government wants you to think it's normal not to have free healthcare. (though i'm canadian so it's, you know, a different problem here concerning healthcare)

Anyway, I'm rambling and my socialism is showing lmao. But tbh, this is a very moot point, because me making this post is never ever in a million years gonna make a DENT in EA's pocket. You are majorly overestimating my influence.

If you wanna keep giving your money to EA, just do it man. I certainly can't stop you.

[manic-sapphic]

i'm sorry but i just gotta rant a bit about relating to catra - but tbh, not just her..

i know i've been sleepy on the rants lately - i realized tumblr let's you freely make and post gifs (only 10 at a time tho, how's my obsessive ass supposed to live w that? i'm tryin) out of short vids and omfg, believe me, i ain't done w that. never. but i'm sorry if i duped you into thinking i was done posting any rants muahahahs cause i ain't done w them either.. ever. likewise. gifs are great cause a pics worth a 1000 words right, and they're 3 seconds of frames of pics. but sometimes, it feels like silent film. and i just can't always stfu

sooooo ~~

oooook, tbh, i haven't personally gotten much of any bs from people on this platform tryna hate on catra, but it's still happened to me elsewhere, and i know it still happens to some here, and i have thoughts about it. so, while i recognize that most the people i interact w on here prob feel mostly the same way - i'ma post about it just so it's on my blog. just so it's out there for those who can't and/or won't try to understand.

as many do, i relate to catra for personal reasons that run pretty deep - from my first watch, it's what made me empathize w her character at her worst and still hold onto the hope that she'd somehow claw her way out of the fucking pit she straight up dug for herself.

found herself down there and figured shit - that's it. this was my doing, this is my life now, till it becomes my death; this is where i've trapped myself; i dug my own grave and there's just no getting out of it ("you made your choice, now live with it" ~ reminds me of the fairly common proverb of "you made your bed, now lie in it")

but her chance to do this bold, brave, selfless - yet, ironically, still quite fittingly (for the catra we all know and love) self-destructive act (but this time, embracing self-destruction as a means of self-sacrifice - in an attempt to keep the promise for what she thought would be her last chance to ever do so) - of helping get glimmer to darla without adora ever having to actually dock at horde prime's flagship -

...break my heart, why don't you? into a number of pieces i can't fathom; like, if i gathered them all into a pile, i could start counting the shattered lil shards and wouldn't be able to count out the last one in my lifetime. break my heart like that. that's not a joke. this show makes me feel something, lots of things, in ways that, tbh, i have a hard time finding much of irl anymore. no fault of life's, ofc. much like catra, i know this shit is all on me.

but hey hey hey tho - that's ok. i'm ok. i don't mind that, because it's ok not to feel ok. tbh, sometimes i think people need to let themselves feel that more when they need to; just look at catra in s1-4. it's not an uncommon motif in fiction; every villain has an origin story. and emotions almost always play into it; and a villain's typical determination to repress the very emotions that plunged them into a previously unknown depth of darkness - only ever adds to their unpredictable, chaotic, and vengeful nature. who woulda thought~

that being said - my main point is, for anyone who just can't help but hate catra (and luckily, that doesn't seem to be anyone who typically sees my posts/interacts w me, so this is really just something i kinda feel the need to say, even if i'm preaching to the choir and know, deep down, if it actually met a catra-anti's eyes - it would prob only spark more irritation on their part, or at the very least, make no difference) -

but just know (i mean this sincerely) if you just can't see any reason to - not even empathize, i can see how that could def be something not everyone can manage - but if a person can't even see catra's character as someone they can try to sympathize with… and i mean, it doesn't have to happen in the first 4 seasons, but if the show ended and one happens to still find themselves unable to understand at all or even find her worth trying to understand in the slightest ~~

this is not sarcastic, i really swear i mean this: it seems like you might be pretty lucky.

truly and sincerely, i mean that; if you're someone who can't find any way in themselves to relate or even sympathize w this character, i'd guess it's at least due in part to the fact that you're quite literally incapable of seeing where she's coming from - at all. and idk. in some ways, i envy you. in others, i don't. it's confusing.

i've had remarkably good luck myself, it would seem, (idk how often other people get troubled by catradora antis here) endlessly ranting on this platform w/o anyone tryna give me a hard time - i've been able to share shit about not just catra & adora, but almost every other character - cause although i may not relate to any of them in quite the same way, they all represent (in my mind) different facets of personalities, interests, and insecurities as well. and i think many fans prob feel they share some aspects of themselves with certain parts of, often, more than one character.

and even the brightest characters have at least a small streak of darkness - even if it's as innocent as feeling like they don't fit in (glimmer, frosta, and scorpia have all shared this feeling- one to the other- at some point) or finding it so difficult to be in tune w their environment / circumstances that they're unable to connect w and use their powers; like perfuma in the crimson waste or adora on beast island.

i think there are a lot of just jaw-dropping, wonderful characters in spop - and def not for their powers, abilities, or accomplishments - but for the flaws they possess that viewers can relate to while they watch these characters simultaneously display their strengths and own those flaws - refusing to let them be what defines them. such a dope fucking msg if you ask me; everyone is flawed, everyone fucks up; but at the end of the day, everyone has their strengths, too; and if you're trying your best to use them for good - even if you falter at times.. what more could anyone ask of you?

i relate to catra all throughout the show (and i realize many do, and while i feel for whatever in anyone's past/present has caused them to see a kindred spirit in catra, i'm sure we can probably all agree: it is so lovely to know there is this fictional cartoon character [of all things] that was rebooted in a way that [imo] was very much intended to offer some solace, hope, & understanding to those who do find her relatable)

cause guess what. you're worth more than what you can give to other people.

that goes for everyone.

or at least, it certainly should. we all deserve love. ok?

you too. <3

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Do you have other social medias where you publish Cobra Kai content ?

Hi!!! I do have some other accounts, like my AO3! My two main fanfics I have going right now are Awakening, a werewolf!Demetri AU set in Barcelona during the Sekai Taikai, and You Never Called It What It Was, a YasMoon backstory fic set before and during Season 1. There's also the binary boyfriends gay little road trip to find Miguel after S4 AU series, which I DO have lots more chapters planned for, but it's currently on pause until I finish some of my other fics. Hopefully I'll dive right back into this one after the show ends, since there will no longer be new canon material tO GIVE ME MORE IDEAS THAN I HAVE TIME TO WRITE, GOD DAMN IT >______< (I wanna try writing Samguel too at some point, but I'm worried I'd be bad at it ;_____; And I love them very much, so I want to do them justice!!! Here's to someday, though, lol.)

I also have some playlists on my spotify!!! Right now I've got: Elimetri, Elimetri except it's all TSwift (she fits them exceptionally well, don't judge!), YasMoon, general Yasmine playlist, Samguel, and the homoerotic road trip fic!

As far as other socials go...welp. Funny story: I DID make an instagram to post moodboards a while back, and someone uh. Reported it??? I'm like 95% sure some homophobic assholes took issue with the fact that I ship Elimetri and YasMoon and I do it pretty loudly and unapologetically. I think I commented on some Demetri & Eli and/or Yasmine & Moon posts saying that I loved the ship, and yeah, um...I guess The Straights™️start screeching and clutching their pearls over people ever interpreting same-gender friendships having romantic undertones. Or something. I can't even remember exactly what I said, but it wasn't anything stronger than like "I ship this so much" or what have you. But I guess that alone is an atrocity in some people's ass-backwards brains :/ This day in age, queer hate is making enough of a resurgence that I shouldn't even be surprised it's alive and thriving outside tumblr. Anyways, I ended up just taking the L and letting insta ban my account because I'm ngl, it's pretty rancid there and not worth the trouble. All this to say I would advise staying off the CK instagram fandom if you primarily like queer ships. It's fucking chock full of h*wkm**n and yas/metri shippers, and as a queer and a woman I do not trust or feel safe around that at all :/ (Like yeah, please tell me more about how cool it is when women lose their agency and personality to revolve their life around boyfriends who view them as coolness prizes and don't care about them as people at all??? How does this brand of blatant misogyny still exist in 20fucking25??? Anyways) There's just generally a lot of homophobia and misogyny that I think would make trying to participate in the fandom there really depressing. I've heard TikTok is pretty rampant with homophobes too, tbh, So I'm not planning on getting on there, either. I feel like it's just hard to seek out the people I'd actually vibe with among a sea of toxic waste XD And, y'know. All the content made by people who have no issue with my gender being portrayed as braindead props to make men look better ^^; (If any of my followers are already on CK Instagram/TikTok, don't worry--this does not apply to you!!! If you're reading this, it means you're one of the gay little posse I actually respect and you are some of the few on those sites who DON'T suck XD)

Random aside, but I've been lowkey craving to make some video edits/music videos of my ships, so I might get back on youtube one of these days. Unfortunately, I don't have the means right now D: I used to have Sony Vegas, but then my computer broke it when I was forced to upgrade to windows 10 ;_____; I think there's a way to fix it somehow, but it's...super complicated??? Eventually I'll crack down and do it, probably, when the yen is eating me from the inside out. But for now, I'm too lazy XD

[stobotnikworld]

Sonic 3 - Wtf was that absolute shitshow ??

I'm sorry, but I'm sticking with what I said originally. This film was fucking awful. It was like a slightly better version of a Knuckles episode, but it felt like it had been written by some garbage fanfiction writer who had never heard of Sonic before, and directed by some amateur teenage art student who'd never read a book in their life, or learned how to film.

This is why I like writing my own fanfiction, and reading other people's, because once a franchise becomes cocky and turns on its head it's all the way down from there. Like WAY fucking down. Knuckles was just the beginning...

However fanfiction is exactly that. It's fanfiction, it stays within the fandom so it doesn't look like it's taking a shit on a franchise.

-

I'm putting this massive rant under the cut so that people can skip it if they want, but there is no way I'd see Sonic 3 again and I'm definitely not buying it when it comes out on Blu-Ray.

Sonic 4 is not going to be on my cinema views list after this. The way this franchise is going at the moment, it may not even be on my fanfiction writing list.

I am super glad that Sonic 3 smashed the box office though, the ammount of work Jim Carrey and Lee Majdoub put into the franchise. They deserve it, and the first two films were definitely worth any extra pay that will come from this film. They're wonderful people, wonderful actors, they deserve all the praise they get.

So I'm not trying to be a dick, and they have entertained us wonderfully, which I'm extremely grateful for and I know a lot of other people are too.

They are the only reasons why I still paid to see the film, even after thinking that it looked awful initially. The ammount of work and effort and time they put in, it's not asking a lot for me to support them by taking time out of my day to see their work.

In fact their work wasn't the problem. At any point.

-

I also respect that we all have our own opinions, and I don't want to keep talking about this from this point forth, so I'm not going to go out of my way to try and ruin it for others like a troll on social media etc.

But there are things that need to be said, and this is my Tumblr and my post to say it on, and that way if people want to skip it they can.

Then after this post, I won't get into conversation about it again because I don't want there to be negativity in the fandom, and tbh I really can't be arsed.

I just want to focus on enjoying what is left of Stobotnik, and salvaging what is left of my enjoyment of this fandom before I completely go off it. I feel like my brain has been sandblasted, and it's time I can't get back, and I'm dumber than before I saw the film.

From myself and the other fans who feels this way, fuck you to whoever designed this shitshow.

Whatever you did with this film, don't ever do it again.

EVER.

You are not invincible - you can fall overnight, just like any franchise can. Don't let that happen if you are actually serious about carrying on with this franchise.

The film opens with Shadow waking up in the tank and attacking all of GUN. After this point, 99% of the film had been shown (or misrepresented) in the trailers and clips to make it look a lot better than it actually was.

That was the first thing I noticed, and I mean LITERALLY 99% of the film had been shown throughout the year, almost as though it was a home-made fan film that people were funding out of their own pocket. Where the directors had never made a film before, and needed constant validation from the public that they were writing, filming and animating properly.

There was a whole different feel to this film because of that, and it was fucking weird - and not in a good way.

Everyone felt out of character (more on that later) and literally every tweet about everything Sonic related (fan suggestions and all etc) since the second film were probably staff members asking 'wtf do we do? We have no idea how to script.'

The development between Stone and Robotnik literally never happened. There were a couple of scenes (and I mean like, a couple) that had been shown in the trailers and spoiled through clips online, but literally everything you saw in the film had been put into the trailers and clips. So, watching it in the cinema felt like watching a pirated copy online because there was nothing left to see.

Every second, every scrap of film had been jammed into the trailers and clips to try and get the numbers in. It actually felt like massive scene cuts had been made, like 40 minutes had been cut PER SCENE.

It reminded me of The Last Of Us 2 where most of the game got cut because the staff weren't paid and went on strikes, so they replaced all the good content and jammed in all this budget crap instead from scraps on the cutting room floor.

The finished Sonic 3 film was super, super rushed, far too much crammed in with no depth, development or character exploration, and you could barely tell what was going on from one minute to the next. You know how long each scene was in the trailer? That is literally how long those scenes were in the film.

This film could have been split into a further three films if directed and written properly, with tons and tons of material and deleted scenes left over for the Blu-rays.

Literally 99.5% of the film had been uploaded onto YouTube through trailers, clips and 'theories' throughout the year, almost as though they were constantly checking to see what fans thought. Every tweet, every 'what if', every supposed character design right down to the last pixel, it was confirmation of what the film was going to be about...

If you took all the clips that are on YouTube and put them back to back, you have the entire film. Literally the entire film, I cannot emphasise that enough. Just.. why??? WHY?? What junior twat was responsible for this??

Even Carrey seemed wooden in many parts, and he's an amazing actor.

Everyone was super out of character, it felt like budget cuts had been made everywhere - even on the scrap toilet-newspaper the script had been written.

Tom and Maddy were complete strangers to Sonic, their lives had been cut from each others, the whole thing felt really fucking weird... It's like they had both abandoned Sonic as their child, and the look Maddie gave him in the hospital van was like serial killer eyes.

Like she had never met him before, didn't want the law to protect him, had no feeling towards him. She was cold, she had been so ready to dump Sonic at military school right there and then, just to see him be killed. Not even in a 'huge character mother/son tough-love development arc' kind of way. No, just.. fucking weird.

And WTF was with all the 2min scenes with different characters as though to go 'they're here in the film, but we're not paying them, they're purely appearing for SEO online.' I feel so bad for all the other actors who got shit on. I mean royally fucking shit on, especially the guy playing Commander Walters.

He was such a big character, his death was absolutely meaningless, was over in 2 seconds, no context, no respect, nothing. It almost felt like the other actors were volunteering unpaid. Or else they had been created from CGI and the offer of payment had never been available in the first place.

Was this a result from losing that much money from the Knuckles show because it was complete garbage that nobody wanted and didn't feel invested in?? Or was something else going on in the background? Because it felt like the only real acting going on here was to promote the film and behind the scenes to get people into the cinema to see it.

I mean.. this literally felt like the transition from beautiful watercolour handrawn Lilo & Stitch 1 to the garbage TV cartoon that destroyed the whole franchise.

Or from the fantastic Topcat 1950s show to whatever home-wrecking bullshit we have today. I cannot emphasise enough just how bad this script was, and everything in it.

I was left with more questions than answers after watching the film, and not good ones like 'hey I've got to write something or explore this situation, and I'm going to enjoy it in the process.' Just literally - WTF.

This film was so depressing and not for the supposedly emotional storyline - that it wasn't even, because the main storyline didn't exist.

Shadow had a few nice moments, but for a film that was supposed to be all about him and Maria he was barely in the film at all. They had 'Knuckled' him - which is what I'm calling it now when they take a shit on a character, like they have done all his life. For some really weird fucking reason, that's never been explained.

I mean.. I am so lucky that I watched a bit of the old Sonic cartoons before this film came out, otherwise I would have been like 'who tf is Shadow' and 'who tf is Maria' that's how little info there was.

We literally have no idea what happened to Sonic between films 2 and 3, and there were so many story errors... like with Sonic's cave. Like Tom had never seen it before - yet he and Maddy found all Sonic's shit from his cave in the first place and brought it home.

Tom and Maddy also didn't seem to give two shits whether he lived or died, and what chaos it could bring to their lives. Sonic is their KID, it's their job to protect him.

It's actually completely put me off the Sonic Live franchise now. I'm glad it kicked Disney's butt, they deserve it with all their paedophiles and rapists and nazi bullshit, but the Sonic film in itself? Completely weird, very uncomfortable, super rushed garbage.

Like a long TV episode that's been made up of 7 seasons, and then shoved together quickly so that there is no backstory and no room to explain, explore or feel. Every single thing the fans said throughout the last year or so, appeared in the film in almost exactly the words they said it. Zero creativity.

Zero, zero creativity. This is a film I would happily pay not to have to watch again. A definite straight to Blu-Ray, home film kind of thing. For £3.

The 2 seconds worth of Stobotnik (and I do say 2 seconds, because literally every tiny scene you see in the film is in the goddamn trailer or clips), was the only saving point - and I'm not saying that because I'm a Stobotnik fan. That was literally the only saving point...

That and Shadow and Maria's story that was like 2mins long, and had an ending that made no sense whatsoever...

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode four thoughts

hey remember last post where i said last episode gave me everything I wanted. HOW ARE WE FEELING NOW BOYS. WE GOT THE BREAKDOWN!!! THAT MAN HAD AN EMOTIONAL OUTBURST AND COLLAPSED WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!!

okay so i was wrong and charles' dad did not kill him. that's fine tbh I like this a lot, that he was essentially accidentally killed by his friends bc he stood up to them when they were bullying someone (? i think that's what the scene was implying. idk i was really excited about seeing him have a mental breakdown i might have missed something 😭). not to say that what they were doing was an accident, i just don't think they were trying to kill him i think they took the bullying too far and then maybe panicked when he died and covered it up, and that's why his death is unsolved? anyway very interesting! they truly do not miss with charles everything we've gotten from him is so great it makes me even more excited for edwin backstory haha

GOD CHARLES' BREAKDOWN.... that is everything i've ever wanted from a character repressing their emotions do u understand that. he got slammed into some of his worst memories, the most painful and traumatic moments of his life, and then with all those emotions back on the surface he went apeshit!!! i Love him getting aggressive to protect his friends (because that's really what he does, isn't it. he's the brains, i'm the brawn. god.) and then breaking down crying because he can't keep pretending like things are fine anymore, there's too much all at once for him to shrug it off. PHENOMENAL stellar acting stellar writing i love all of this i am eating it like soup!!!

and just. the things he was saying, about how he has to keep being positive he has to keep it together because if he doesn't who will? who else have they got to keep spirits up and stop the group from self-destructing? god it's. so good. i am not going to elaborate on some of that striking a nerve but. god. they gave me everything i wanted to see i love it so much!!! that is everything i hoped for from this story beat you understand!!!!

i wonder if maybe jenny is going to get an episode? or like a b-plot focused on her, something like that. the love letters seem like a plot thread that's going to be pulled on later, it just doesn't seem like this show to establish a mystery and then have it only be a background detail. we'll see tho ^^ i love jenny, i'd love to see more of her she's so fun. reminds me of a friend of mine tbh so i am biased, but also i deeply appreciate a woman with knives on a societal and also personal level 👍

okay can i just say. the night nurse (thank u noble for telling me her name <3) is kind of an asshole right. like i don't think she's evil she's doing a very necessary job, but it's actually delightful how ruthless she is about it. oh these two souls are refusing to move on? throw them into their worst traumas and the most painful moments of their lives to convince them there's nothing worth staying on earth for. sure, it's cruel, but who cares? it's efficient, and that's what matters. these are just children acting out to her, who don't understand the importance of what she does to keep everything in order. i love ruthless characters, and she's done so well she's so fun to watch

also. i do not think this is the last we've seen of her. like yeah she got fed to a sea monster but also she's literally from the afterlife and can travel back to earth wherever as long as she gets the permits. so. i think they bought some time, but that won't last long and they're still stuck in the town so i think she's far from done with them, and we'll see her again probably sooner rather than later (especially since she knows where they're staying)

crystal. my girl. beloved. PLEASE stop almost dying every episode it's bad for my blood pressure. you don't understand you're a living person which means they can kill you while still having you as a character on the show by making you become a ghost. you and niko don't have that safety net Please be more careful 😭

we got some really interesting lilith lore this episode, and it's got me thinking. a goddess of blood and wronged women... what about esther? she's been kidnapping and killing little girls, is that not wronging them? has it just not caught up to her yet because she's been making sacrifices, and if so what happens now that the squad has stopped her from kidnapping more kids? is she on some kind of time limit? this is So interesting I am deeply intrigued by the possibilities here...

the cat king was... there. okay i will admit the scene where he shapeshifted into monty and then charles was interesting. the implications are Fascinating, especially the order- he shifts into monty first and only briefly, but it doesn't seem to affect edwin until he shifts into charles. and then, edwin seems almost entranced until the yellow eyes show through which is. there are certainly implications! idk if it means anything besides instinctively trusting charles more bc they've known each other longer or something like that- especially considering this is netflix we're talking about, but then again the show got cancelled so maybe things did get gay! they've also set up edwin possibly having a crush on monty, or at least being unsure how he feels about him so. no idea but i am Keeping An Eye On That 👀

also. him saying he's never really been interested in/seen the appeal of kissing but now isn't sure whether it's something he wants... clutching grayro/demiro edwin to my chest. this is mine now he's one of us 👍

speaking of edwin, his moment there with niko at the end was really sweet. they're watching scooby doo together 😭 it's the perfect blend of their interests bc it's a detective cartoon.... their friendship is so cute holy shit. the simplicity and genuineness of their dynamic is so sweet, how edwin praises niko's detective work (telling her she's good at something very important to him!) and niko offers a listening ear without judgement as he works through what looks like it's shaping up to be a sexuality crisis. they mean so much to me... they're friends your honor!!!!

oh also charles and crystal kissed. idk man i don't have many thoughts on that. good for them 👍 I think the framing was sweet, in that the show sets up the kiss as the 'something real' crystal wants, but i will admit that part of me is disappointed because i wanted crystal and niko to get together. idk i thought they balanced each other out well, with crystal being subtle where niko is blunt and niko having hope where crystal is cynical, but. that's fine. i wasn't super invested. it's fine. no lesbians for me i guess... sad! oh well

all silliness aside, this episode was yet another Banger they simply do not miss!! the lighthouse ghost was such a fun character, and i love niko's kindness shining through again as she offers edwin red sea glass for courage and the walrus man green sea glass for emotional stability after telling him how she found the washerwoman. niko sasaki the woman that you are.... anyway i'm starting the next episode and then afterwards we'll see how i feel i might need to break for dinner lol

[piss-stained-jorts]

RIGHT

-claps hands-

some of you are new to this despair. it ain't fun. as someone who is no stranger to hopelessness, despair, fatalism, misanthropy, and an undying bitterness, I'll give it a go trying to offer some semblance of help. my soul has been a strange kind of melancholy for over 15 years. I experience a few seconds of true happiness once every few months. and yet, here I stand. I think it'd be better if the whole world burned, but I ain't holding a match. point is, it's entirely possible to keep going, even in this state.

even in saying this, I have my doubts it'll do anything positive at all. I'm doing it anyway. I do it with the same defeatism I experience when I go to vote in a deep South red state. a single drop of blue dye in a sea of red blood. I know, objectively, that nothing will come of my actions. I do it anyway. for selfish reasons, I do it anyway.

I'm not here to help you out of it. I'm gonna offer some advice on living on inside it. I don't know how to get out of it yet, either. I'm working on that. again, maybe it helps, maybe it does nothing. here we go.

I recommend booking a therapy appointment. this is my biggest, most helpful advice TBH. I didn't go for a long time. didn't think i could afford it. turns out, there's secret little things in the world to help you afford it. me, I went to healthcare.gov, found some cheap ass insurance, and now I'm in therapy for severe mental health issues. I'm getting a second therapist, too. there's some deeeeep rooted shit in me. there's very likely deep rooted shit in you, too, and it's a great time to find someone who can help dig it out. ain't a cure all, and you'll have to see it as a conversation instead of someone coming and fixing you. they aren't a knight in shining armor with all the answers, but two heads are better than one.

I also recommend poetry. not just reading it, but writing it. the angrier and sadder the better. every raw, honest feeling. do not judge whatever comes out. don't worry about structure. don't worry about making it readable. make vent art, too.

I recommend familiar, comforting foods. things that remind you of those pockets in time when you were warm and safe. old foods, old games, old imaginary friends. yes, the imaginary friend thing extends to grown ups. a positive voice that is only ever kind and loving to you, no matter what. it's your own voice echoed back, after all.

I recommend caring about people. it helps to keep you in this world if you have someone else in it you love so, so fucking much.

I recommend bitching. bitch about your feelings and the world and the state of things with someone who also wants to bitch.

I recommend sad, angry, bitter, hopeless songs, under the caveat that it won't make you want to kill yourself. if listening to sad music makes you wanna die more, do not do this. me, I find songs about dying and being miserable comforting because I feel seen and understood in a way I feel I have been failed. maybe that's not how your brain works, though. just be safe and don't die.

under no circumstances kill yourself. you don't want to die. your brain is coping and trying to take back a sense of control when you feel powerless, and that's the solution it can think of because it's straightforward. do not do this.

if a sense of hope does come, don't push it away. if it leaves quickly, breathe and enjoy the few seconds you have with it. don't berate yourself if you don't feel the way you "should." there is no should or should not with emotions or the lack of them.

I recommend finding something to do, or something to put off. me, I keep saying I'll write a book, make a game, do all sorts of things. maybe I will, maybe I won't. it's something to do or say I'll do in the future. a sense of purpose. even if I never do it, it's still there.

learn to see the worth in both the retching pain and the numbness. when I am overcome with despair and anguish, I find the worth in that I'm still able to care that much, that I have a consistent muse for my work, and that crying is cathartic. when I'm numb, I find worth in the cool, calm gray color that mutes my existence, and the lack of pain makes the boredom a welcome respite. it still blows, and I'd trade it for joy and hope any day of the week, but the joy machine doesn't work anymore. working on that one.

listen. listen. I don't know what the fuck the future holds. pithy statements of hope don't help me, so I won't give them to you. be there for your friends, be there for yourself, give space to your feelings. I know. I know these new feelings are scary. you've never felt them like this before. you're new to this, I know you are. I promise you, you can keep living. I promise you, it's possible to find little joys, even here in the nightmare. I know the feeling of drowning in the ocean with hardly a sail to keep you is scary. I know from lived experience that it's possible for it to become bearable. I still believe, though I'm not there yet, that it's possible to leave this dark forest. I am bitter and resentful and I feel cheated and I don't think feeling any of this makes anyone a bad person.

it hurts so much, I know. I know it hurts. I know words can't make it all better. this world we live in is not what it should be. you are so cherished.