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to-fly-with-clipped-wings · 1 year ago

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Chapter 1.2 - Train Rides and Talking Hats

Pairing: Harry Potter x Chosen One! Reader

‘“Oi,” you spoke, feeling your jaw clench at the blond boy’s demeanour. “I’d watch what I was saying if I was you, especially considering the crap that’s spewing outta your sewage-system of a mouth.” Draco Malfoy turned his sharpened gaze toward you. “And I’d be more careful if I was you. You don’t want to make enemies with the wrong people.” “Same goes for you.”’ OR: in which you hitch a ride on the Hogwarts Express and buckle up for one hell of a ride. → Set in a universe where you are the chosen one, and Harry Potter is your best friend who tries to help you navigate the woes of being the lone hero of the wizarding world. A swap au where you are the chosen one, your parents are dead but the marauders + Lily are not. Eventual Harry x Reader, slowburn, friends to lovers. Series Masterlist

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Perhaps, if you had any less self-respect, having had a mental breakdown on the King’s Cross platform would have been your morning on the 1st of September.

The train leaves at eleven, Hagrid had told you. The Caddels had dropped you off at the station at half past ten before leaving to drop Odette off at her new school, Smeltings, they’d said. All you were really aware of was the nifty cane that came with the uniform, supposedly used to thwack fellow peers. An excellent training for later life.

Regardless of peculiar apparels or uniforms – you had now acquired a steadily rising fear that you would never be able to wear your own, if you couldn’t uncover where exactly platform nine and three-quarters was located at the station.

There they were, right in front of you, platforms nine and ten – right there – but nowhere could you spot any semblance or notion of anything three-quarters related. The large plastic number nine leered tauntingly at you, swinging back and forth vaguely with the passing breeze.

You had pestered the guard manning the station. He hadn’t even heard of Hogwarts, and since you had no flying clue where or even what the school was, you couldn’t describe it to him. The guard stared at you incredulously, as though you were deliberately trying to be stupid (you didn’t miss how he eyed Hedwig, your owl, who chirped irritably back at him). It took every ounce of your remaining willpower to not snap or lunge at him and cause a scene in the middle of the station, especially when a congregation of people had formed a circle around you to observe the exchange curiously.

Apparently, according to a variety of people at the station, there wasn’t even a train that left at eleven o’clock. And, though it was obvious, platform nine and three-quarters completely did not exist. Like, at all. And to top the cherry on your fabulous sundae of anxiety and chagrin, according to the large clock situated on the arrivals board, you had a little under fifteen minutes to be seated on the train.

You wished Hagrid had left you with more information, but when the man had dropped you back at your house and allowed you the time to blink, he had vanished. Urgent magical business, you mused dryly. Almost like the kerfuffle of being stranded on a station with not the foggiest idea of where to go.

Were you missing something? Did you need to cast a spell? What if you missed the train? Oh, you knew you should have read the books before coming to the station. You swore at that moment to leave no page in your spell-books unturned (in hindsight, you knew you would drop this vow three days in).

Just as you were preparing to brandish your wand at the stray ticket box next to platform nine, trying your very best to formulate a spell that would divulge the presence of platform nine and three-quarters.

In a perfectly timed turn of events, a group of people passed behind you, and you managed to glean a glimpse of their conversation.

“ – packed with Muggles, of course –

You heard your neck crack from how fast you wheeled around. Muggles. You had never been happier to hear a single word. The speaker was a stout woman, to an audience of about five red-headed children. Four boys and a girl, who from the conversation that ensued, you discovered was too young to attend Hogwarts just yet.

You trained your eyes on them like a hawk, shadowing ‘Percy’, the oldest boy, as he dashed toward the brick wall of platform nine, pushing his trolley along with him. Wincing, you closed your eyes so you wouldn’t see him and all of his school supplies crash onto the floor.

Miraculously, however, when you peeled your eyelids back open, the boy was gone. As were the twin brothers, Fred and George (or did their mother say George and Fred?).

There was only one more boy left; a tall – though that entire family seemed to be on stilts – lanky, deeply freckled one. If you wanted to know where the sons were disappearing to, this was your final shot.

“Hey!” you called out, dragging your trolley behind you as you approached the remaining members of the red-headed family. Then, realising how the abruptness of a random girl yelling at someone may be perceived as abrash, you decided to dial back your advances. “Hi, sorry. Do you happen to know how to –” “How to get on to the platform?” she said kindly. “No worries at all, dear. Is this your first time at Hogwarts? Ron’s new, too.”

She pointed at her last son. He had dirt on his nose. You nodded your head slightly toward him in greeting, but your mind was still hyper focused on how the clock was dwindling closer and closer to eleven. “Pleasure,” you smiled, desperation beginning to blemish your voice, evident as it began to inch one or two octaves higher. “So, er, I’m hoping that you do know how to get to the train?” “That’s right,” she said. “All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don’t stop and don’t be scared you’ll crash into it, that’s very important. Go on, go now before Ron.”

You ruffled the collar of your shirt, which was looking far too neat and sophisticated (and therefore, not nearly as charming as you preferred it to be). “Thanks, Miss.”

You sucked in a deep breath before gathering your courage and sprinted toward the very solid, opaque looking barrier of platform nine and three-quarters.

You were running — running like a lunatic, might you add, when you realised you were almost there — and then, quite suddenly, you weren’t.

Rather, you now found yourself underneath a sign that read Hogwarts Express, 11 o’clock.

Permeating through a brick wall was yet another box to check from your list of magical experiences. Twice, actually, if you counted the entrance to Diagon Alley. Odd was it indeed, but it was your odd now, and you lest would allow anyone try and rob you of it.

You stood in awe, head on a swivel as you examined the new environment. A mammoth of a train, one whose size could only be attributed to the slight of one’s magical hand, with smoke seeping out of its charcoal chimneys, stood tall against the crowded stage of the station.

You turned around to see if the red-headed family had made it through as well, and sure enough, there they were. The woman was still looking at you, and when you waved at her, her face split into a soft smile as she returned the gesture. You swept your dishevelled hair to the side – it had tousled itself into a heaping mess sometime during your episode on the other side of the train station.

You only registered the consequence of this action when the red-headed woman’s eyes widened, and as an abrupt muteness circulated throughout the platform, capitulating the vocal cords of what seemed to be every single man, woman and/or child present there at that very moment.

Families that were once bidding their children goodbye, lovingly caressing cheeks or smoothing down fly-away hairs, or families who were once loading trunks onto compartments, were now reacting in an identical fashion of the same scene that had transpired at the leaky pub; normal chatter was extinguished, and murmurs crept around the platform like an amateur thief in a treasure trove.

“The lightning scar!”

“Is that – oh, my sweet Merlin, it is!” “Oh – where –?!”

“Move! Let me get a glimpse!”

“Look, over there!”

“(Y/n) (L/n)!”

You stiffened under everyone’s combined gazes, the hasty switch of focus to you catching you off guard. But, as quickly as the alarm had rippled into your body, it had dispersed out.

A smirk split your face, and you nodded toward the woman closest to you (who promptly went pink and near-fainted) as a way to acknowledge that you acknowledged their sudden interest in you. You heard someone chuckle at the sight, and a few more flurries of whispers were burgeoned from other by-standers.

During the time it took for you to jostle your trolley into an empty carriage near the back of the train, the number of people actively tracking your every move had died down, though only by a fraction. From the corners of your eyes, you could still see the odd third-year trying to estimate how many laces you had on your shoes, no doubt so he could pester his parents into buying the same pair. (You kept to yourself that they had previously belonged to Odette, however, as you seriously doubted anyone wanted to know that (Y/n) (L/n), hero of the wizarding world, still wore hand-me-downs.)

Unfortunately, it seemed that although you possessed the power to terminate the reign of the darkest and most powerful wizards in history, you had apparently not attained the muscles required to heave your trunk up the stairs onto the Hogwarts Express. You stumbled back, cursing as you reeled from the pain that rocketed through your foot after you dropped your trunk on your toes.

“Want a hand?”

You looked up. It was one of the red-headed twins, from that family you had met before.

“Yes,” you said almost immediately. “Er, please.”

“Oy, Fred! C’mere and help!”

The three of you managed to successfully store your trunk into the corner of your compartment. Before you could thank the twins for their help, though, one of the twins pointed at the spot on your forehead where the thin lightning-shaped scar donned your skin.

“You’re (Y/n) (L/n),” he announced. Just like Olivander, this had not been a question, but rather a statement.

“Yes,” you straightened your posture, raising your head a little higher. “That’s right. I am.”

The two boys gawked at you, and you subtly swept your sweaty hair to expose the scar even further. To your slightest dismay, however, the familiar voice of the red-headed mother drifted through the carriage before you were able to elaborate further on your tale of the lightning-shaped battle scar.

“Fred? George? Are you there?” Both the twins groaned at their mother’s summoning. Sparing one last glance at you, they ambled toward her call. “Coming, Mum.” You waved the twins goodbye. Sitting down by the window, you ducked your head so you could listen to the family, who were still on the platform, whilst being half-hidden at the same time. Their mother had scourged out a handkerchief and was furiously scrubbing at Ron’s nose to rid the smudge of dirt that laid upon it.

You watched with amusement as Ron tried to lurch away before being caught in his mother’s iron-fisted clutches once again.

“Mum – geroff!”

One of the twins snickered, leaning close to Ron. “Aaaah, has ickle Ronnie got somefink on his nosie?”

“Shut up!” You saw the oldest of the red-headed siblings saunter towards his family, already draped in his robes. A shiny red and gold badge was pinned onto his chest, with the letter P engraved onto it.

“Can’t stay long, Mother,” he said stiffly. “I’m up front, the Prefects have got two compartments to themselves –”

“Oh, are you a Prefect, Percy?” One of the twins gasped, bringing his hands to his face in disbelief. “You should have said something, we had no idea.” “Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it, once –”

“Or twice –”

“A minute –”

“All summer –”

You huffed a laugh at the back and forth going between the family. Percy the Prefect’s face was starting to sport a lovely bright, irritable shade of red.

“How come Percy gets new robes, anyway?” queried one of the twins.

“Because he’s a Prefect,” their mother smoothed Percy’s already-perfectly-smoothened hair fondly. “All right, dear, well have a good term – send me an owl when you get there.”

She sent him off with a kiss.

You sunk back into your seat. For some reason, the jovial atmosphere you’d felt upon discovering the magical platform had now become strangely dampened.

Call it a moment of weakness, sure – but in that moment, you wished that you could have a mother. A mother who would dote on you like that or who would comfort you.

But, as soon as that looming train of thoughts had festered, you vanquished them from your mind – the other kids could keep their affectionate mothers who waved them goodbye as they left, the same, in fact, would go for their superficial, gentle-natured fathers; you had your fame and that topped any shred of whatever they may have had, whatever you were missing!

As though the red-head family were suddenly attuned with your train of thought, you heard the voice of the youngest child, the girl, pipe up. “Oh! (Y/n) (L/n) On the train? Please can I go see her, Mum, please, please, please…”

“You’ve already seen her, Ginny, and the poor girl isn’t something you goggle at in a zoo. Is she really, Fred? How do you know?” “Asked her. Saw the scar. It’s really there – like lightning.”

“Poor dear.”

Your fingers traced the pattern of the scar, not particularly liking the feeling of pity emanating from the family.

“No wonder she was alone. I wondered. She was ever enthusiastic, though, when she asked how to get on to the platform. I’d have thought she’d be scared, by herself…”

“Never mind that, do you think she remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?”

The red-headed mother swelled. “I forbid you to ask her that, Fred! No, don’t you dare. As though she needs reminding of –... ”

The disarrayed ruckus of another family hurriedly barrelling onto the platform, and ushering their boy onto the train, stripped your focus from the ginger group.

Observing the mop of black hair, you realised pleasantly that it was the boy you had met at the Quidditch store that day in Diagon Alley. Closely behind him, a stressed looking woman with copper-coloured hair, followed him briskly onto the train. Your lips twitched as you noticed that she possessed the same brilliant green eyes as her son.

The father, a carbon copy of his son, followed seconds after, carrying a tremendously large trunk onto the train. There was one more man – perhaps one of the uncles the boy had mentioned – who remained on the platform. You guessed that he was allowing the family their final moments together. He didn’t really look alike to the mother or father of Quidditch Boy’s family, so you presumed that he was probably an uncle by choice, not blood. He had sandy brown hair with substantially sized scars running down the entirety of his face and neck. There was a large, shaggy black dog beside him too, and you swore that it had winked when it saw you looking at the group.

A shrill burst of steam raged outwards from the chimney of the train. You guessed that this was a warning to families that the train was about to depart right now. True to your word, just as Quidditch Boy’s mother and father practically leapt off the train carriage they’d left their son in, the train doors slammed shut, and the vehicle began dutifully chugging forward.

Left behind now, was the platform of nine and three-quarters.

Leaning back in your seat, you exhaled roughly. This was it, the moment that marked the beginning of your journey into Hogwarts. You had no clue where you were going, but you just knew it would be good. A grand moment, you were sure, but what you were also sure of was that the next few hours on the train (or possibly days or months, who knew?) would result in you being bored out of your mind. Stuck in an empty carriage by yourself with no one to talk to – tragic – maybe it would do you some good if you popped down into one of the other carriages and try to find some other first-years.

Coincidentally, the door of the compartment was opened by none other than Quidditch Boy himself. His hair was askew, glasses lopsided and cheeks clearly flushed from the rush of trying to scramble onto the Hogwarts Express before it departed. He did not have his trunk with him, which meant that his father was able to stash it onto the train it in time.

“Hey, again,” he flashed you a bashful smile. “Would it be alright if I could sit here?”

“Sure. No problem.”

You observed him as he took the seat opposite you. He was already wearing robes of sorts, not the Hogwarts ones, judging from the lack of school emblem, but the sorts that you hypothesised would be the wizarding equivalent to a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

“Er,” he started, causing you to look over at him. “It’s nice to see you. Again.” “Yeah.” you agreed with him, offering a lopsided smile. “Great. To meet you.”

“Yep.”

The compartment fell into a highly awkward silence, one that you were not at all familiar with. Back with the Caddels, or even at your previous school, you had no problem whatsoever making friends with strangers. In fact, conversation came easily to you – you weren’t the most popular girl in the grade for no reason, after all. So the stuffiness invading the atmosphere was most definitely unwelcome, and honestly, unnatural.

Thankfully the awkward cloud hanging above you and Quidditch Boy dissipated abruptly when the compartment door slid open again, revealing the tall, freckled, ginger boy. The other first-year you’d spoken to: Ron.

His eyes widened when he saw you sitting in front of him. “Uh – sorry, anyone else sitting here? Everywhere else is full.”

Quidditch Boy shook his head and Ron took the seat beside them, so they were both facing you. Ron’s gaze hadn’t settled and he kept on glancing toward you and then toward the window whenever he made eye contact with you. It was amusing, his discomfort, from how often he did it.

“Hey, Ron.” The red-headed twins popped into the compartment suddenly. “Listen, we’re going back down the middle of the train – Lee Jordan’s got a giant tarantula down there.”

“Right,” said the youngest sibling.

So we’re not going to question the spider. Seems good.

“(Y/n),” the other twin, the one who hadn’t been talking to Ron, turned to you. “And other Kid,” referring to Quidditch Boy, “did we introduce ourselves? Fred and George Weasley. And this is Ron, our brother. Anyways, see you later, then.” The three of you said bye in unison as the twins left.

As soon as they were gone, Ron blurted out, “Can we see the scar?” You blinked at him, and he went pink. Though, you complied either way (as you had no qualms to showing off the lightning-shaped bolt). Pulling your hair back, the scar on your forehead was revealed to Quidditch Boy and Ron.

“Wow,” breathed out Quidditch Boy. “It really does look like lightning.”

Ron was equally stunned. “So that’s where You-Know-Who – ?”

“Yes.” You grinned brightly at their awed expressions. They stared at you a couple seconds longer before Ron diverted his attention quickly back to the greenery flitting through the window.

“So, is your whole family magic then?” you asked Ron out of curiosity.

You already knew that Quidditch Boy’s father was a pure-blood and his mother was a muggle-born, whatever that meant; you weren’t going to be the one to say you had no idea what those were.

“Quidditch Boy?” puzzled Quidditch Boy, eyebrows furrowing.

Ah, had you said that outloud? Whoops.

You laughed, bringing a hand to your nape. “Sorry, I don’t know your name, so I’ve just, kinda, resorted to calling you Quidditch Boy in my mind.”

“Oh, well, I’m, uh, Harry. Harry Potter.” said the boy, smiling at you once more.

You slouched further into your seat. “Nice to meet ya then, Harry Potter.”

Ron interjected into the conversation, for which you were grateful. The ginger boy seemed to hold the power of evaporating awkwardness with a snap of his freckled fingers. “Pure-blooded means that everyone on his father’s side is magic. I’m the same – everyone in my family is a wizard, well maybe except for my mum’s second cousin who’s an accountant, but we don’t really talk about him.”

“I get it,” you said, cupping your chin with your hand. “I’ve got no clue what I am. But I know that my father had no magic.”

“A muggle,” Ron nodded appreciatively. “Well, basically everyone knows that your mother was a pure-blood, though. That makes you a half-blood like him, since you’re a mix I guess.” He pointed at Harry. You were slightly startled that he knew more about your family and lineage than you did yourself. Maybe you should get used to people knowing more about you than you did yourself.

“A muggle-born’s a witch or wizard who was born from muggle parents,” continued Ron.

You tilted your head to the side. “Where does their magic come from, if they’ve got no magical blood or whatever?”

Ron looked partially affronted. “Who knows, – magic isn’t exactly something that comes in a nice little package that gets delivered to you when the time is right! All I know is that if you’ve got magic, then you’ve got it. That’s all there is to it, really.” He waved his hands about in the air for further emphasis. This was probably a topic Ron was passionate about, as you noticed his ears flushing red under the combined blank stares of you and Harry. You ponderedthat if Ron were to ever wear something salmon-coloured, it would definitely wash him out. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between his face and his left knee.

You tried to recover from the painful silence. “Thanks, that clears it up. You two must know loads of magic then.”

“Not nearly enough as my mum wants me to,” said Harry.

“Hear, hear,” mumbled Ron.

“Huh. Guess that’s one good thing that comes out of being an orphan. No pushy mother for me!” You chuckled at the uncomfortable looks on the boys’ faces.

“I heard you went to live with Muggles,” said Ron, scratching the back of his neck. “What’re they like?” “Alright,” you shrugged. “Not outstandingly nice or anything, but they do their job. Would be cooler to have wizarding brothers like you though.”

“Not if you’ve got five of them.” answered Ron gloomily. “I’m the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. You could say I’ve got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left – Bill was Head Boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy’s a Prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they’re really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it’s no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either, with five brothers. I’ve got Bill’s old robes and Charlie’s old wand. I wanted an owl, but they couldn't aff – I mean, they got Percy one instead for becoming a Prefect.”

Ron’s ears went pink again. Your brain, it seemed, was temporarily delayed and was not able to formulate a response to that.

“I’m sure you’ll do better than all your brothers combined,” said Harry.

Ron smiled gratefully at him.

As the train rolled onward and your surroundings grew greener, you, quite helpfully, took Hedwig’s cage and placed her on the centre of the table, announcing that the first one to get nipped whilst feeding her treats would be declared the ultimate ‘Loser Lord and/or Lordess.’ Hedwig loved you, so obviously she went ham whenever the two boys got close to her in order to secure your victory.

The three of you fell into an easy conversation after that, and you barely even realised how much time had passed until a smiling, old-looking woman popped her head into the compartment and said “anything off the trolley, dears?”

With that lovely gesture, you had leapt out of your seat and essentially pounced onto the food she was offering. Your pockets were lined with wizard money now, an infinite stash really, and so there was nothing stopping you from buying multiples of everything she had. As such, you, Harry and Ron had to literally struggle and drag back the food you’d hoarded, before dumping it on the table.

“Hungry, are you?” said Ron, raising his eyebrows at the pile of snacks that was nearly as tall as him.

“Starving,” you grinned back.

You, Harry and Ron tore into the pasties and cakes, the mountain rapidly diminishing by the second. There was one incident with a chocolate frog creeping into Hedwig’s cage before getting mauled by her talons. The card that supposedly came with the treat, had also been destroyed, so Harry had given his to you. One with a moving picture of Albus Dumbledore, who had waved politely at your stunned expression.

Once you’d moved onto Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavour Beans, you found a lot of enjoyment when Ron had the misfortune of coming across a bean that tasted like dirty socks. Though, your amusement at Ron’s plight had been adjourned with the appearance of a round-faced boy.

“Sorry,” he said, “but have you seen a toad at all?”

“No, sorry.”

You were taken aback when the boy promptly burst into tears. “I’ve lost him! He keeps getting away from me!” “He’ll turn up,” said Harry.

“Yes,” said the boy, turning away dejectedly. “Well, if you see him…”

“Don’t know why he’s so bothered,” remarked Ron once the boy had left. “If I’d brought a toad I’d lose it as quick as I could.”

You deadpanned at him. “You haven’t even got any pets to lose, Ron. I’m betting that if you ever got one, you’d have even worse attachment issues than Toad-Boy.” “Mind you,” said Harry, talking around his mouthful of Cauldron Cake. “That’s saying a lot.”

“What’ve you got then?” asked Ron, turning his head to glare at Harry. “You seem awfully high and mighty for someone who probably doesn’t even have anything at all.”

“I’ve got a dog,” defended Harry. “Snuffles.” You stifled a giggle. “Snuffles? No way you named your dog that!” “I didn’t pick the name!”

“A dog’s not as good as an owl anyways,” you teased.

“I’d beg to differ – my dog totally is,” Harry grumbled, crossing his arms. “Plus you don’t even need to have an owl – the school’s got its own aviary shock-full of ‘em that you can send letters with.”

“One day, I’m gonna get an owl.” Ron sighed dreamily. “Just for myself, I wouldn’t have to share with Fred or George or Percy or Ginny.”

“Who’s Ginny?”

Before Ron could express the identity of this ‘Ginny’, the compartment door was opened by a bushy-haired girl whose face was wrinkled up irritably. Toad-Boy also made a reappearance.

“Has anyone seen a toad? Neville’s lost one.”

“We’ve already told him we haven’t seen it,” said Ron, but the girl wasn’t listening. Rather, she had been staring at you.

“You’re (Y/n) (L/n).” she declared matter-of-factly. “I saw you at the station. I know all about you, of course – I got a few extra books for background reading, and you’re in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century.”

Ron gaped at her and Harry blinked a few times repeatedly.

“Be surprised if I wasn’t,” you said, winking cheekily. You also had no idea what she was talking about though.

She studied you appraisingly before asking Ron and Harry “and who are you?”

“Ron Weasley.”

“Harry Potter.”

“Pleasure. Well, I’m Hermione Granger. I was ever so pleased when I got my letter to Hogwarts, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I’ve heard – I’ve learnt all of our set books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough.”

All three pairs of eyebrows furrowed in synchronisation. You, personally, had only caught about one-third of what she had been saying since she’d been basically rapping out her words.

Herminkoni (was that what she said her name was?) began talking again. “Do either of you know what house you’ll be in? I’ve been asking around and I hope I’m in Gryffindor, it sounds the best by far, I hear Dumbledore himself was one, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn’t be too bad. Anyay, we’d better go and look for Neville’s toad. You three had better change, you know, I expect we’ll be there soon.”

Herpes Motion thus turned around and left, taking Toad-Boy with her.

“Well,” you announced cheerfully. “She was nice.” “Sure,” muttered Ron, reaching for a Treacle Tart.

“She was right about one thing though,” said Harry, grinning and brushing his hair out of his face. “Gryffindor, by far, is definitely the best house.”

“Who’s Gryffindor?” you squinted your eyes at him. Ron attempted an exasperated face-palm with his left hand (he was still holding the tart in his right). Harry laughed at this, before proceeding to explain the four houses to you.

Gryffindor had been the house Ron’s and Harry’s families had gotten into. The house of the brave, it was known for. Ravenclaw, the house for smart people (you had a feeling you would not be getting into that); Hufflepuff was the house for the loyal and well-meaning. And finally, there was Slytherin. Both Ron and Harry detested the green-and-silver clad house, for it had been the house to pump out the most dark witches and wizards.

“Ah,” you said. “So naturally, we should hate that house, since that was the one Voldemort was – ” “Woah,” interrupted Ron, looking impressed. “You just said his name.” “Why wouldn’t I? It’s just a name. Anyways, I’m guessing that you both want Gryffindor then?”

“Of course!” Ron puffed out his chest.

“Hey,” Harry began, rubbing your chin. “Have you — ”

Unfortunately, whatever Harry had wanted to ask had been interrupted by the compartment door sliding open again.

This time, it was a group of three – the ringleader being a sallow-faced, gauntly blonde boy. The other two were giant-sized, goliath looking boys who looked like his bodyguards. And, of course, they were all fixated on you. (But then again, why wouldn’t they be?)

“Is it true?” he said. “They’re saying all down the train that (Y/n) (L/N)’s in this compartment. So, it’s you, is it?”

“That’s right,” you smiled at him.

His lips twitched into a small smirk. He waved his hand carelessly at the two body-doubles next to him. “This is Crabbe and that’s Goyle. And my name’s Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.”

Ron choked on his treacle tart, but you suspected that may have been him trying to disguise a sneer. Draco Malfoy narrowed his eyes on Ron.

“Think my name’s funny, do you?” he sneered, causing your hackles to raise immediately. “No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford.”

Ron’s face went pink again and he sunk into his seat.

Draco Malfoy raised an eyebrow at Harry, but before he could say something about his family, you cut him off.

“Oi,” you spoke, feeling your jaw clench at the blond boy’s demeanour. “I’d watch what I was saying if I was you, especially considering the crap that’s spewing outta your sewage-system of a mouth.”

Draco Malfoy turned his sharpened gaze toward you. “And I’d be more careful if I was you. You don’t want to make enemies with the wrong people.”

“Same goes for you.”

You stared down Draco Malfoy. Harry was glancing back and forth between the two of you, and he looked ready to stand up if this altercation escalated.

“You don’t get to come in here and poke fun at us,” you muttered slowly. “Especially, if you want to be on good terms with me.”

His cheeks tinged a faint pink. “Not like I would want to be friends with the likes of you.” He placed the emphasis on ‘you’ the same way you did for ‘me’.

You, Harry and Ron all stood up.

“I think it’d be best if you left.” you gritted out, disliking the boy less and less by every twitch of his rat-like face.

Unfortunately for you, Malfoy’s rattish face had broken out into a sneer. “You’ll regret making enemies out of me, (L/n). I promise you that much.”

He furiously spun around and out of the carriage, but not before he could shoot you a final scathing look. Crabbe and Goyle chased after him, robes billowing out from behind them.

“What a buffoon,” you huffed angrily.

“Agreed,” said Harry, still glaring at the door.

“I’ve heard of his family before,” said Ron darkly. “They were some of the first to come back to our side after You-Know-Who disappeared. Said they'd been bewitched. My dad doesn’t believe it. He says Malfoy’s father didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side.” “‘Specially if they thought it was the winning side,” added Harry.

The door opened before you could open your mouth. There was Hermit Yeti, yet again, standing at the entrance.

“What has been going on? Why did I just see three boys bolting out of this compartment?” She looked you up and down. “You haven’t been fighting, have you? You’ll be in trouble before we even get there!”

“They were the ones starting it – not us!” defended Ron, scowling at her.

“All right – I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors,” she said sniffly. “And you’ve got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know that?”

“Thank you,” you interjected, glaring at her on behalf of Ron. “Could you leave now?”

And finally, Herm-onion left.

If you had to guess, it had been only an hour after that when the train had pulled to a stop. You had slipped on your robes, ensuring that they still had your signature wind-swept appearance about them. Ron and Harry were also wearing their school robes now too. The three of you stuffed your pockets with the remaining sweets before you left the train.

Hopping out of the train and onto the station, you were delighted to be met with the familiar, wild face of Hagrid, the giant-man.

“Firs’-years! Firs-years over here! All right there, (Y/n)?” He beamed at you from under his scraggly beard.

You waved enthusiastically at him.

The first-years, it looked like, had their own means of reaching the school, which involved travelling in groups of four in a little boat across a lake. You, Harry, Ron and the bushy-haired girl (to your displeasure) took a boat close to the front.

Whilst you did not dislike the girl, you weren’t fond of her tendency to huff or be bossy, especially when she did it toward Ron (which you found she did often). Harry hadn’t done anything to get into her wrong books, and nor vice versa, so they were probably on the most amicable terms between your little trio.

The boats glided in unison across the great body of water, before coming to a stop at the front of the school’s castle. You could hardly hear Toad-Boy’s reunion with his toad (“Trevor”) amongst the excited buzzing in your ears.

The gaggle of first-years came to a stop at the entrance of Hogwarts, a ginormous wooden castle door. Hagrid raised his fist and rapped three times on it.

The door opened immediately. There was a stern, grey-haired witch standing behind it. She was sifting through the crowd intensely, and her gaze did not linger on your scar like how most peoples’ did.

“The firs’-years, Professor McGonagall,” said Hagrid.

“Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here.” The door was opened further and you streamed into the Entrance Hall. The entire school was huge, you realised, and was very elaborately decorated – like something you would read in a book. Flaming torches illuminated the corridor. The first-years were pulled into a little room, next to a place where you could hear the rest of the school talking.

It was then you noticed that Ron appeared quite pale under his freckles and that Harry was fiddling with his fingers. In fact, every first-year seemed to be exhibiting some sort of nervous tick, apart from Malfoy, who was rolling his eyes for some reason.

You drew your eyebrows together in confusion. Should you have been scared too? It wasn’t like they were going to force you to fight each other or anything right? At least, that’s what you hoped. Although, you definitely knew that if they made you fight, you’d win.

“Welcome to Hogwarts,” said Professor McGonagall. “The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory and speed free time in your house common room.

She continued giving a debrief of the houses, but as it was something you had already heard from Harry and Ron, it wasn’t anything new. You fidgeted restlessly, wanting to get onto the Sorting already.

“The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting.” Her eyes lingered on your messy hair and ruffled collar, as one lapel stuck upwards.

Once she left, you turned to Harry and Ron. “What do they do to get us into these houses? Is it like a test? Based on how you answer, that’s where you get in? Like, ‘what is the square root of sixteen?’”

“That’s probably only good for finding Ravenclaws and non-Ravenclaws though,” said Ron, taking you seriously. “My brothers said it was a test too, though. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking.”

Harry was looking more unsettled by the minute.

“Hey,” you said, patting his shoulder, mistaking his expression as anxiousness. “Don’t be nervous. I’m sure Ron’s brothers are just messing with us.” “Me too,” confirmed Ron.

“But,” Harry’s green eyes met yours. “A test? I didn’t know we had to do a test. In front of the whole school? I can barely do two spells, how will they sort me with that? I— I didn’t think — I mean, my dad said— I thought it had something to do with a ha –”

“Listen,” you began, patting his shoulder. “That’s already two more spells than I know, and probably most of the first-years too. That Malfoy kid included.”

You narrowed your eyes at the said blonde boy, before returning them to Harry. “Don’t worry, alright? Test or not, I’m sure we'll all do great. Probably.”

Beside you, Ron nodded in agreement (although it looked like his skin was also beginning to reach a sickly pale green colour).

“You’re right,” said Harry, and you were pleased to see that he was a fraction less scared than he was a moment ago. Although he did still look a tad bit confused.

Anyways, moving onto more pressing matters. You didn’t bother with ‘smartening yourself up.’ You were already pretty smart enough, in your opinion. Having bested the darkest wizard of the age at a meagre one year of age didn’t come to just anyone, you know?

After a whole debacle with some ghosts or something flying in to greet you before the ceremony, Professor McGonagall entered the room once more. You all trudged in a single-file line into the Great Hall.

You gaped openly at the Great Hall, which looked even bigger than the Entrance. Four long tables were lain across the room, with golden plates and goblets sitting on each. The students were segregated by houses, indicated by the colour of their robes and ties. There were also several candles floating in the air, which was pretty sweet too. Oh, and the roof looked like the sky as well.

Professor McGongagall placed a three-legged stool in front of school, and then she placed a rusty-looking hat on top of it. You deadpanned when it broke into song, and even more when everyone burst into applause once it finished.

“So, we’ve just got to try on the hat!” Ron whisper-yelled to you and Harry. “I’ll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll!” Harry gave him an unsure smile, and said “I tried telling you it was just a weird hat. You threw me off with the test talk.”

Professor McGonagall approached the stool, unravelling a long roll of parchment paper. “When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted,” she said. “Abbott, Hannah!”

Hannah stumbled from the crowd of first-years and toward the professor. She placed the hat on her head and after a moment of silence, the hat shouted out “HUFFLEPUFF!”

The table on the right, with the yellow-and-black clad students, the house of Hufflepuff, cheered and hollered as Hannah went to join them.

‘Bones, Susan’ went up next and she too went to Hufflepuff. ‘Boot, Terry’ went to Ravenclaw, and ‘Brown Lavender’ became the first new Gryffindor. The cheering from the red table was definitely the loudest, especially when right after ‘Bulstrode Millicent’ was sorted in Slytherin and all she got was only a polite and semi-subdued applause from her new house.

A few more people went, and then, so did ‘Granger, Hermione’ (so that was her name) who sat on the stool for a precariously long period of time before being sent to Gryffindor. Ron groaned. Toad-Boy (Longbottom, Neville!) got Gryffindor too, but somehow, he was on the stool for even longer than Hermione.

You were raising your hand to scratch at the itch in your ear when your name was called.

As you stepped forward, the students in the Hall started to whisper loudly, just as they had done at the station.

“(L/n), did she say?” “The (Y/n) (L/n)?” Those comments did not help the rising ego blooming inside of you. You swaggered over the stool and sat down. Your fingers delicately gripped the brim of the hat. The fabric felt ragged and old underneath your fingertips. You brought the Sorting Hat down toward your –

“GRYFFINDOR!”

The hat had barely scraped the fly-away hairs on your head when it shrieked out.

The Great Hall was silent for a few, stunned moments, taken aback by your instantaneous sorting. You stared back at them with wide eyes, darting downwards to look at Harry and Ron. They were wide-eyed too, before the dam of silence was broken, and they beamed gigantic smiles at you, alongside the entirety of the Gryffindor table erupting into cheers – louder cheers than for any of the people before you.

You felt a warm glow in your chest. You looked around the table, and saw many friendly faces. Percy the Prefect had dived over the table (almost) to shake your hand vigorously and you could hear the Weasley twins jeering “we got (L/n)! We got (L/n)!” Even the resident Gryffindor ghost, Nearly Headless Nick, was congratulating you for your placement by patting your arm, which felt oddly like you were being doused in a bucket of cold water.

At the High Table, Hagrid was grinning and gave you the thumbs up of approval. Dumbledore, as you recognised him from the chocolate frog card, was up there too with a faint twinkle in his eye.

The only notable people left up, really, were Harry and Ron.

Harry had been called first.

The Sorting Hat was sat upon his head for what seemed to be the better portion of an eternity. For the first time since your arrival, you felt a jolt of fear. What if you and your friends would be separated into different houses? You didn’t to be stuck in a full with only Neville and Hermione, everyday. What would happen if you woke up to find Neville’s slimy toad on your pillowcase or —

You felt a surge of joy and relief, as after a minute or two, the hat declared “GRYFFINDOR!” and the Great Hall erupted in cheers for Harry. You clapped your hands and smiled widely, looking for him among the sea of red and gold.

He took a seat beside you and you high-fived him.

“Nice to see you here, Potter, Harry,” you said, changing your voice to mimic McGonagall’s.

“Nice to see you too, the (Y/n) (L/n),” he snickered, mocking the way the students had reacted when they’d heard your name.

You grinned at him.

Ron joined you rather quickly, even though he was one of the last people to get sorted. You were delighted at this, as it meant you could still be with them for the rest of your Hogwarts years, if what Professor McGonagall had said about your house being akin to family, was true.

Dumbledore rose to his feet, “Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!” He sat down, and as he did, food magically appeared in front of you.

“Is he – a bit mad?” Harry asked you uncertainly.

“Probably,” you said, shrugging, reaching for the roast potatoes.

You scarfed down your food, listening to the conservation around you. You cheered when the dessert had come, causing the people around you to chuckle, quietly – except for Ron, who had gotten to the apple pie before you could.

You wrestled Ron for a slice of said pie, and were happily munching on it when you glanced back up to the High Table. Hagrid was drinking from his goblet, and Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore were in a deep discussion with each other. Another Professor, in a purple turban, was fiddling nervously with his cutlery, tapping his fork against the edge of the table. He was speaking with a professor with greasy black hair, a hooked nose and sallow skin.

The teacher, as though he could sense your presence, glanced straight past the Turban-Professor and bore his black eyes into yours – a sharp, hot pain seared within your scar, and you let out a hiss of pain.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked you, foreheading furrowing in concern.

“N-nothing.” The pain had left as quickly as it had come. How strange. You got the feeling that the hooked-nose teacher did not like you very much.

“Who's that teacher, the greasy-haired one?” you pointed at him, not discretely.

Harry stifled a laugh. “That’s Snape. No one likes him, they say he wants to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, but every year he gets stuck as the Potions one instead. My dad doesn’t like him at all – actually, my entire family doesn’t really either.”

“Why’s that?” you questioned.

“Not sure,” said Harry, but he scratched his cheek nervously. “They won’t tell me.”

Deciding not to press him further, you continued to watch Snape a little longer. He never looked at you again, though, after that.

Once the desserts had all faded away, Dumbledore had announced his final speech and conducted a very tragic school school orchestra. He wiped his eyes, from pain or sadness or you guessed maybe even both, when they had finished. “Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!”

Powering your legs through the sheer force of the food you’d guzzled down, you followed Percy up to the Gryffindor Tower. With horror, you realised that you’d have to climb an average of seven staircases everyday, simply just to get to your bed.

Anyways, the entrance to the Gryffindor headquarters was through a painting of a Fat Lady and she flipped open when you told her the password, Caput Draconis. You scrambled through the portrait hole and into the Gryffindor common room.

You lazily trudged up the stairs, and without even bothering to notice that your trunk had been transported up to your dorm room, you face-planted onto your bed and fell into a heavy sleep.

Perhaps you had eaten a bit too much, because that night, you had a very strange dream.

You were staring into a mirror, desperately trying to tug off a purple turban from your head. When did you get a turban? How did you get a turban? The fabric of the turban grew tighter, making you feel a sharp pain in your skull as the turban squeezed your head like a vice. You wondered how you got into this mess in the first place.

Furiously pulling, pulling, at the turban finally caused it to unravel and expose your hair. With a start, as you glanced back to the mirror, you discerned that your face had, horrifyingly enough, taken on the face of Snape. His own black, empty eyes stared back at you.

You scrambled back, leaping away from his cockroach-like eyes, only to find that, for some reason, there was a bottomless abyss behind you. You fell down, down, down into a pit. Closing your eyes as your head thrummed painfully, you braced yourself for the impact.

A bright flash of green light, and a high, cruel laugh jerked you awake.

Oddly enough, however, when you’d gone back to sleep, you hadn’t remembered the dream at all. You did question, however, the next morning why when you closed your eyes, all you saw was a luminous, green light in the shape of a lightning-bolt scar.

.｡*ﾟ🗲.*.｡　ﾟ*..🗲｡*ﾟ

→ Author's Note: Hello my lovelies, welcome to ch 1.2 yippee!! Sorry that its super long but we’re pretty already halfway through the ch 1 portion of the series XD — I’m guessing now that it's gonna reach about 1.4 or 1.5 but I could also be widely incorrect :P Anyways that’s all so catch ya next time :))) thank you

Time for this chapters analysis ~ You will have probs noticed one of the most canon-divergent parts of this series so far is that instead of the same dilemma Harry faced when he was getting sorted (Slytherin vs Gryffindor), as soon as the hat touched the little hairs upon your head, you were sorted into Gryffindor. During this chapter, and a little of the last one (but mostly this one), I've kinda been subtly trying to hint that the Reader is really quite arrogant and brazen. Rather than Harry as the chosen one, where he longs for a quiet and normal life, Reader dives headfirst into her role. She shamelessly self-promotes her lightning-scar and doesn’t try to hide it – she knows she’s special and she feeds into that!! She’s kinda like James Potter in that regard >.< and therefore I want her to kind of be epitome of a Gryffindor (courageous and arrogant) and maybe, maybe not, a parallel to Draco Malfoy (who also got sorted into Slytherin ASAP, and is ambitious and arrogant) hehe → that’s also why Reader and Malfoy get more aggressive even more quickly than Harry did in canon… Anyways!!! This is the briefest hint at what I have in store for this series, and we’ll see how Reader’s arrogance courageousness deviates Harry Potter from canon. Tbh I’m planning to make the reader Percy Jackson-coded (with the sass and reckless bravery and loyalty and what not) and maybe just the slightest bit Gojo-coded hehe, I know that it's not that clear rn lol but I’ll work my way into it hopefully… Anyways, thanks again! :D Series Masterlist

Taglist (thanks for asking!): @kaverichauhan

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maxdurden · 11 months ago

Text

i'm a waste of a woman, but i taste like success

read it on ao3 here!

Story: i'm a waste of a woman, but i taste like success

Chapter: 1/1

Characters: Kipperlilly Copperkettle, Lucy Frostblade, Ruben Hopclap, Mary Ann Skuttle, Ivy Embra, Oisin Hakinvar

Summary:

Kipperlilly Copperkettle has never been great with people. She's worse with friends. Forming an adventuring party is like making friends, but with greater stakes and far less time to consider your options. But, it's also a kind of friend making that has structure. And Kipperlilly can work with structure. -- Inspired by these comments by Brennan Lee Mulligan about Kipperlilly and the formation of the High Five Heroes: "There's an indication there of Kipperlilly's focus because yeah, the High-Five Heroes is sweet, but it's also sort of a indication that Kipperlilly is pushing them towards, for lack of a better word, do we have something that we're about? The Bad Kids get their name because they've all been given detention on the first day and it's connected to their story. Whereas you get the sense from the High-Five Heroes that it's not actually describing anything. It's like the person being like, "Our inside joke is going to be high-fives." And you're like, "Well, everyone high-fives." So there's an indication there, for me at least, that Kipperlily is trying to make a comradery right away that is not actually there. It's not based in something that happened to them."

The lunchroom of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy was bustling with excited freshmen. Students shouted across the large space to friends they recognized, throngs of already-formed cliques chittered with exclusive excitement, and groupings of sorcerers and bards scoped out potential parties that still needed their skill sets. Technically, the formation of adventuring parties wasn’t meant to begin until after lunch, but it was immediately clear that those who waited were most likely to be left out.

A group of kids who clearly all fit the stoner archetype had already gathered around a table, swapping bags of chips and chatting eagerly about systems of control. A few kids hung nervously around the edges of the cafeteria, some on their crystals and others fidgeting nervously as they watched the ruthless game of high school socialization play out in front of them.

There were a few tables with lone freshmen, either texting friends or digging into their food with little care for the scarcity of resources that were friends and party members. Kipperlilly was one such student, but she had her eyes on the prize. She unwrapped the lunch she had carefully packed for herself, and laid out her bullet journal to review her color coded notes while she waited for Lucy.

She hadn’t discussed the plan explicitly with her best friend before their first day—and there was nothing Kipperlilly hated more than not having a plan nailed down—but she had faith in Lucy. She would know that they belonged in a party together, naturally. From there, it would just be a matter of constructing the perfect party around them. That would hardly be a challenge when she’d been planning this out for months. She knew exactly the kinds of party members they would need, and had started her scouting early.

A powerful wizard could make or break a party, and Oisin Hakinvar was a perfect candidate. He had gone with them to Oakshield Middle, though they’d never spoken before. Once, in seventh grade, Kipperlilly had watched him give a presentation on his proud dragon heritage—the exact kind of thing that made a great adventurer.

She had a few ideas for fighters and barbarians, but she’d already watched Nixie Humphries, a human fighter she’d had her eye on, and Fog Marrowthirst, a transfer half-orc barbarian, get snatched up by other adventuring parties. She carefully marked them from her list, bouncing her leg impatiently under the table. She looked up from her notes and craned her neck to look for Lucy when a small, kobold girl with an ax strapped to her back sat down at the table several seats away.

Kipperlilly’s grip tightened on her red pen, but she breathed out slowly through her nose just like the counselor at Oakshield had always suggested she try. Things were not going according to plan, but that didn’t mean all hope was lost.

“I’m saving these seats for my friends, actually.” She flashed an approximation of a friendly smile across the table.

The kobold girl didn’t look up from her device—It wasn’t a crystal, but some kind of childish looking handheld game. Without taking her eyes off of it, the girl reached around to grab a soda out of the pocket of her backpack.

Kipperlilly cleared her throat. “Excuse me?” She said, a bit louder. “I’m waiting for my friends to sit here with me.”

Her future friends, that was. Her adventuring party that she would save the world with time and again. For now, they’d just be getting to know each other, but why waste time with half measures? Their lives would be in each other’s hands. They would share in their glory for the rest of their careers. They would be friends, closer than they could imagine eventually. Calling them anything other than friends felt like a slight against that eventual bond.

It was like the kobold girl wasn’t hearing her at all. Kipperlilly set down her red pen and stood—

“Kip!” Lucy called as she approached. She was dressed in one of her favorite cable knit sweaters, one that she’d only recently reclaimed from Kipperlilly’s theft, and was carrying her tray of creamed corn and cafeteria food.

Keeping pace next to her was Ruben Hopclap. He was wearing cargo shorts and flip flops, smiling in a way that Kipperlilly could only interpret as smug.

“Sorry, Ruben and I got held up in the lunch line,” Lucy slid into the seat across from her. She knew Kipperlilly well enough to know that she was brimming with impatience before more than a word had passed between them. “You want to be in our adventuring party, right? I’m so excited!”

Our adventuring party. As in, Lucy and Ruben’s adventuring party. Heat rose to Kipperlilly’s face. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go at all. It was meant to be our party as in, her and Lucy’s party. Lucy was meant to come find her first. Lunch line or no, why had she sought out Ruben first?

Hot, angry tears closed up the back of her throat but before they could start to prick at her eyes, Kipperlilly inhaled sharply through her nose. Steadily and slowly inwards, hold, then breathe out at the same pace. She dug her fingernails into her palm under the table for good measure.

“Yeah, of course.” Now wasn’t the time to pick a fight, even if she’d picked fights over less before. She had to keep her eye on the goal. “Just, forget my plan, I guess.” She muttered, unable to help herself, and marked a large, red ‘x’ over the names of potential bard candidates for their party. Ruben’s name hadn’t been listed there.

She should have discussed this all with Lucy beforehand. She knew it.

Lucy’s brows pinched together in concern and Ruben huffed out an incredulous breath. They were both familiar with her moods.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had a plan.” Lucy reached across the table tentatively, resting a cold hand on Kipperlilly’s. “Can I see the rest? I’m sure you’ve got good ideas.”

Always patient. It wasn’t fair. Sometimes, Kipperlilly could manage to goad Lucy into a fight but it was a vanishingly rare thing the older they got. Something about it made the molten rock in her chest feel heavier.

“Yeah, I had some ideas for who we could ask.” She said, reminding herself that self-pity needed to take a back seat to accomplishing her goal. She’d worked hard to convince her parents to let her attend Aguefort. She’d created a comprehensive, data-backed presentation about the benefits this school could offer that Mumple couldn’t in the first semester of her eighth grade year. A vital part of proving herself right was forming the ideal party. As much as she might have liked to sulk until Lucy had no choice but to admit that she’d been wrong for not seeking her out first, now wasn’t the time.

“Great!” Lucy smiled, pulling the bullet journal toward herself.

Her eyes were such a deep blue that it was hard to tell their color in some lighting, but under the fluorescent cafeteria lights they were easy to see as she turned her careful attention to the pages in front of her. Her focus was always steady and intentional. At sleepovers and study groups, Kipperlilly would often get distracted just watching her read.

“Why are these names crossed out?” She asked, pointing with a long finger to Fog and Nixie’s names.

“They already have a party.”

The corners of Lucy’s lips crept upwards in a soft, amused smile. She looked up from the list and carefully scanned the cafeteria before her eyes landed on the kobold girl sitting only a few seats away.

“Oh, I’m sorry for ignoring you,” She said, “I’m Lucy Frostblade, what’s your name?”

The girl still didn’t look up from her game. Watching Lucy get rebuffed was almost enough to make Kipperlilly properly lose her cool, but Ruben suddenly leaned forward to get a better look.

“Is that a Quokki Pet?” He asked.

Finally, the girl’s head rose. She regarded Ruben with mild interest. “Do you play?”

“I used to have one in middle school, but a teacher took it. My parents wouldn’t buy me a new one.” Now that he mentioned it, Kipperlilly remembered the small handheld game Ruben had clung to for a few months in seventh grade.

He’d been caught checking it during math class and it was confiscated by Mrs. Nikothoe, who even Kipperlilly had to admit was a nightmare of a woman. While she probably couldn’t be blamed for taking away a distraction from a student, she hadn’t even liked Kipperlilly despite all her efforts. So for once she and Ruben had come down on the same side of an issue. It had been a refreshing change of pace, even if it had only lasted an afternoon.

“Lame.” The girl responded shortly and her attention started to turn back toward her game.

Lucy was quick on the draw, though, “You have an ax! Are you a barbarian?”

“Yes.” Mary Ann seemed slightly bothered by the continued distraction, but humored them for now.

Kipperlilly could see where this was going and very much didn’t like it. She tried to signal Lucy to stop, tapping on the bullet journal that was still in front of her. Sure, her first choices were off the table but there had to be better choices than this girl.

“We’re looking for a barbarian for our party. Do you want to join?”

The kobold girl looked between the three of them for a moment. Kipperlilly stared back and tried to imagine her going into a rage—tried to imagine what good a two foot tall barbarian could possibly be. She just prayed that they’d be rejected.

“Sure.” No such luck. “I’m Mary Ann.” And with that, her attention was back on that stupid Quokki game.

“I’m Ruben!”

“Didn’t ask.”

Kipperlilly was staring at Lucy in disbelief when their eyes met again. What was she thinking? This was a disaster. “We need to find Oisin Hakinvar.” She said, gathering up her things. There was no time to waste. She couldn’t possibly let this go any worse than it already had.

“Oisin? From Oakshield?” Lucy asked.

“I haven’t finished my creamed corn!” Ruben complained through a mouth full of the stuff. Kipperlilly shot him a dangerous glare. He did not want to get in her way right now.

Lucy rushed to catch up with Kipperlilly as she shoved her things in her bag and made a beeline out of the cafeteria. Oisin may very well have already been out on the quad, where there was an even more concentrated focus on forming parties. It might have been too late.

“Kip, calm down,” Lucy insisted as they pushed through the front doors of the school together. Ruben and Mary Ann trailed somewhere behind them, the latter with her nose still stuck in her game. “It’ll all work out. There’s no rush.”

But that just wasn’t true. Kipperlilly didn’t have time to argue the point. Stepping onto the school’s quad, she took careful stock of everyone there. Some girls had gathered around one of the many statues of Arthur Aguefort and were giggling to themselves. A few students had gathered around to watch an elven boy show off his magical prowess. Kipperlilly had to dash through his prestidigitation sparks when she spotted a blue, scaly head behind the base of a nearby statue.

Lucy followed after her, apologizing to the elf as she passed. Kipperlilly came to stand in front of Oisin Hakinvar. He was sitting at the base of a statue, eating his lunch with a vaguely familiar wood elf girl. If he had a party already, they were nowhere to be seen. He looked up from his food, pushing up his glasses and frowning thoughtfully at the halfling in front of him.

“Can I help you with something?” He asked.

“Yes,” As she spoke, Lucy and the others caught up behind her. “I’m Kipperlilly Copperkettle. We went to middle school together. I’d like you to be the wizard in our adventuring party.”

“I’m Lucy Frostblade,” Lucy jumped in when Oisin’s hesitation dragged on for a beat too long. “We had history class together last year. I know this is kind of a lot, but you’re really impressive! And we’ve got enough room still for you to join, too, Ivy. Are you a ranger?”

The wood elf girl, Ivy—Kipperlilly noted the shortcomings in her research that she didn’t realize Oisin had someone he wouldn’t join a party without—regarded Lucy with a carefully controlled expression. “Yeah, I am.”

“That’s perfect! I don’t think any of us here are super well versed in the natural world, so you’d be a great help.” Lucy offered a friendly smile, a real one, and Ivy and Oisin exchanged glances.

“Okay, so you all want us, but why should we want to join you?” He asked after a moment.

He was considering it. This was good. Kipperlilly could work with this. “We’re impressive in our own right! I’m a rogue, and one day I’ll be the greatest mastermind Spyre has ever seen. I was in student government in middle school; I was the president of four clubs, and the creator of two of those. I’ve never gotten a grade worse than a B in my life. If you stick with me, you don’t have to worry about failing.” And I’d be the perfect leader, was what she didn't say. “And Lucy is a prodigious cleric of Ruvina. She’s worked some serious miracles—”

“I’ll keep you alive.” Lucy interrupted sheepishly. She wasn’t one for bragging, even if Kipperlilly thought she should have been. “That’s what you really want to hear from a cleric, isn’t it? And this is Ruben, he’s a bard and a genuinely talented musician.”

Ruben flashed a proud grin. “I’ve already figured out how to cast healing word, so you doubly won’t die if you stick with us.” He had no problem bragging.

“And this is Mary Ann, we just met but—”

Mary Ann pulled her ax from her back with the hand that wasn’t holding her game. She dropped it into the soft ground with a satisfying thud. “I’m a barbarian.”

“She’s a barbarian.” Lucy repeated with a grin.

“Nice elevator pitch. Did you practice it?” Ivy asked, and Kipperlilly honestly couldn’t say if she was intentionally being snarky or not.

“Doubly not dying is a pretty tempting offer,” Oisin admitted. “One of my friends in middle school was a worshiper of Ruvina,” he addressed Lucy directly, “Pretty cool stuff—No pun intended.”

Lucy laughed, “Pun appreciated, intentional or not. So, what do you say?”

Again, Oisin and Ivy exchanged some kind of silent communication—Kipperlilly wondered if it was a message spell, or if they really did just have a knack for understanding one another—before either of them spoke.

“Sounds like a plan. Makes it easier that you guys already have all the other members figured out, too.”

Ivy joining the team hadn’t been the plan, either. But Lucy was right that a ranger would be helpful and, even if she seemed mean, she had to be better than Ruben or Mary Ann. A small weight lifted off Kipperlilly’s shoulders as she realized she’d succeeded, at least in her first goal of the day.

She grinned, mostly because she was relieved that this was done, and quickly held up her hand for Lucy to high five. She owed her shared credit, especially for winning Oisin over, even if the improvisation with Mary Ann had been unwelcome.

With a satisfying smack, their hands collided, and Kipperlilly carried on down the line. Ruben seemed confused, but returned her high five nonetheless. Ivy and Oisin seemed equally amused by the offer, but played along. Mary Ann, who was focused entirely on her game, didn’t even look up to see Kipperlilly’s hand hovering in front of her. Kipperlilly paused, and waited, but felt the awkward tension growing the longer she did, and eventually dropped her hand.

“Look at that! We can call ourselves the High-Five Heroes!” She chimed, trying to power through the way Mary Ann’s snub had robbed her of some of her momentum. She’d prepared for this moment, planned out the name.

It had to land.

Kipperlilly had never been great with making friends in the past. Lucy was her best friend mostly because Lucy was a wonderful presence and brought joy and light to her life, but there was certainly an element of the fact that Lucy was her only friend, too. Adventuring parties were all best friends. They were bound by blood and trauma and life debts. This was the perfect opportunity for her to finally get things right. And she intended to; She had meticulously planned exactly how she would.

An awkward silence fell over the group. Ivy looked at Oisin with raised eyebrows and Kipperlilly tried desperately to read into the expression. Maybe awkward was the wrong word, maybe it was awed? She fidgeted aimlessly with her hands, feeling the way sweat collected on her palms.

“Everybody high fives.” Ruben scoffed and Kipperlilly felt her heart drop. This was exactly why he couldn’t be here. He was going to ruin it all, and just to piss her off.

She silently worked her jaw for a moment, trying to grind out any combination of words that would salvage this.

“I think it’s cool!” Lucy came to her rescue, as always. “We’re going to be heroes!”

It seemed that, at the very least, that was a sentiment they could all get behind. Her suggestion might not have been met with the enthusiasm she’d prefer, but Kipperlilly relished her accomplishment as each member of the group signaled their approval. The High Five Heroes weren’t only going to be heroes, they wouldn’t just be friends—they’d be great. She could feel it.

#kipperlilly copperkettle #the rat grinders #lucy frostblade #ruben hopclap #mary ann skuttle #oisin hakinvar #ivy embra #i just. you're not gonna get away for vilifying a teenage girl for her lack of social skills and control freak nature on my watch #i'll literally die for her right to be The Worst #like does she suck?? yeah kinda #is she sinister?? hell no #fhjy spoilers #ig??

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t1oui · 11 months ago

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i've been on a pjo kick lately so i decided to plan out a character swap au purely for fun.

in this part, i'll be listing marauders era characters & my opinions on their godly parentage and planning out some of what a pjo au with them would look like. in part 2, i'll take characters from the pjo universe (specifically pjo/toa/hoo) and list my opinions on their hogwarts houses + some other stuff about them in the wizarding world. enjoy !!

peaceful au

this is the section where i do whatever i want with characters, none of them are involved in any prophecies or anything - this is an au with no wars where everything is completely made up. down further will be the section for a canon-compliant au where the big prophecies are fulfilled and people meet how they do in canon :)

characters (orange = greek, purple = roman, ✩ = year-round camper, ♔ = head counselor, ☽ = praetor, ✦ = big 3 kid):

james potter: son of aphrodite ♔

sirius black: son of zeus ♔✦

remus lupin: son of minerva

peter pettigrew: son of hecate

lily evans: daughter of demeter ✩♔

mary macdonald: daughter of venus

marlene mckinnon: daughter of ares

regulus black: son of jupiter ☽✦

barty crouch jr: son of minerva

pandora rosier: daughter of iris ✩

evan rosier: child of iris ✩

dorcas meadowes: daughter of victoria

frank longbottom: son of posidon ✩♔✦

alice fortescue: daughter of apollo* ☽

narcissa black: daughter of pluto ✦

severus snape: son of athena ✩

xenophilius lovegood: son of hebe

emmeline vance: daughter of hades ✩♔✦

andromeda black: daughter of iris ✩♔

ted tonks: son of apollo* ♔

*apollo is the name for the greek and roman god of music, archery, medicine, the sun, and oracles

relationships (siblings):

james and mary (half siblings) - children of aphrodite/venus

sirius and regulus (full brothers, thalia and jason situation) - children of zeus/jupiter

remus, barty, and severus (half brothers) children of athena/minerva

pandora and evan (full siblings, twins) - children of iris

emmeline and narcissa (half sisters) - children of hades/pluto

ted and alice (half siblings) - children of apollo

andromeda & pandora and evan (half-siblings) - children of iris

note: andromeda and narcissa are cousins in this

relationships (platonic):

james, sirius, peter, and marlene become friends right away and immediately start causing some mischief

marlene becomes friends with lily and introduces her to james, sirius, and peter

frank is the older head counselor of the posidon cabin (also the posidon cabin's only resident) and everybody has a crush on him (except for marlene, a lesbian, and peter, who's aromantic)

severus is "the quiet kid from athena cabin" but lily's good friends with him

sirius and james don't like him at first because he and sirius just clash (they both want to be the smartest of every room they're in and refuse to agree on anything) and james thinks he's being impolite to lily when he doesn't always respond to her, but he eventually understands that sev's just quiet and the two of them hash it out

pandora and evan are the weird iris kids. that's just who they are.

andromeda is the head counselor of the iris cabin. pretty much everybody knows her. she's been on a ton of quests and rumor has it she fought a harpy once.

andromeda and ted are like the parents of the camp, ted is also the head healer of the infirmary

emmeline is best friends with xeno, she sort of adopted him when she arrived at camp because he seemed lonely and she needed a tour guide.

meanwhile at camp jupiter...

remus and mary have been there since forever but they don't really get along with each other

remus is friends with regulus and barty (he finds barty annoying) and mary is friends with dorcas

narcissa and alice are older, narcissa is very broody and mysterious but everyone sees right through it. alice has a big fat crush on her.

after xeno gets with pandora, emmeline starts hanging around snape so she can give xeno some alone time with his girlfriend. like with xeno, it works because sev prefers to listen and emmeline really likes to talk.

relationships (romantic):

james/lily (past) - james and lily dated when they were younger, probably like 13, but decided to stay friends at the end of the summer. lily realizes she's lesbian soon after

sirius/marlene (past) - they also date for about two seconds before sirius realizes he doesn't see marlene like that and marlene realizes she is definitely not into guys

alice/frank (past) - they kiss once and then alice complains to frank about narcissa not liking her back and he does some super sleuthing to prove that narcissa is, in fact, gay for her

pandora/xeno (endgame) - pandora and xenophilius start dating when they're 15, they usually go out stargazing to avoid evan following them around and third-wheeling

sirius/remus (endgame) - remus starts crushing on sirius almost immediately after he first meets him when the camps are introduced to each other. they start dating like 3 months later and remus complains about his crush to reg and barty the whole time.

james/regulus (endgame) - they don't get along at first because regulus doesn't get along with anybody at first but since regulus is praetor, he speaks with "representatives" of chb like james, a head counselor, and they start to get along better and then start dating.

lily/mary (endgame) - these two are flirting with each other right away. eventually james and dorcas are basically screaming "just get together already!" so they go on a date. they're def the first cross-camp couple to get together.

dorcas/marlene (endgame) - lily and remus notice dorcas and marlene giving each other ✨looks✨ and team up to do something about it. this is how they become friends.

barty/evan (endgame) - these two take so freaking long to date. barty is enamored with evan immediately but sirius nor james really know him that well so he doesn't really have anyone to get him close to evan. then pandora notices and she's been trying to set her twin up for ages so she sets them up. evan is a little pissed that she put him on a blind date at first but he and barty hit it off.

andromeda/ted (endgame) - they're the parents of camp half-blood, they've been together for ages. that's it, that's the story. (they got together when they were 13, they're very cute, they would just bring each other flowers and eat in the infirmary together when ted had busy nights. andromeda scoffed at others for getting together so young but insists she and ted are different. they are.)

alice/narcissa (endgame) - alice has liked narcissa their whole time knowing each other and has been trying to be her friend since they first met. alice and frank kiss, which makes narcisaa jealous, and then narcissa and frank become friends when he consistently hunts her down to talk about alice. he convinces narcissa that he and alice don't like each other like that and the girls FINALLY get their shit together.

canon-compliant au

details are a lil messed up with parents being switched around and all, but here's who would be who in the different quests/prophecies. things will be similar to pjo universe events but changed some to fit the story because well... this is a riordianverse au.

these details also don't really line up with the stuff above b/c that is all structured around a more peaceful riordianverse ! down below is canon compliant stuff, as i said above. enjoy!

series 1: pjo (battle against titans)

people who the prophecy could be talking about (big 3 kids): frank, sirius, emmeline, regulus, or narcissa (tho reg and narcissa are from camp jupiter, so they're pretty much out for this one)

who ends up fulfilling the prophecy: frank, peter, and marlene -> explanation: frank is a child of the big 3 who manages to reach 16. when they're young and marlene first arrives at camp, peter gives her her first weapon - a bracelet that turns into a knife - as a welcome gift. when he betrays her by joining the titans, it curses her weapon and it's the same weapon frank gives him in order to kill kronos. rip peter 😔

frank is offered immortality but chooses to make the gods pay child support instead, what an icon

series 2: hoo (battle against gaea and the giants)

camp swap: sirius, the head counselor of chb's zeus cabin, is wiped of his memory and finds camp jupiter. mary is wiped of her memory and put on a bus with james and emmeline, who she's supposedly dating.

the seven: sirius, mary, james, emmeline, pandora, dorcas, and remus

the lost hero trio: mary, james, and emmeline

book 2 trio (wouldn't be called son of neptune because there... isn't one): sirius, dorcas, and remus

travel duo (people moving athena statue during book 5): narcissa and evan

mark of athena quest: remus (son of minerva, athena's roman form)

sirius and remus fall into tartarus (that's one way to start a relationship ig)

abilities (that cross over with hoo characters): -> sirius can fly (son of jupiter) -> mary has charmspeak (daughter of venus) -> emmeline can control gems & is basically sponsored by hecate, who teaches her to use the mist (daughter of hades)

series 3: toa (battle against nero and python)

main dude is still apollo ofc, but this time his master is lily, who's a teenager during the series (not a tween like meg)

the kids of apollo in the story are ted and alice, but ted will show up more because apollo & lily spend more time at chb

lester thinks he's destined to be w/ narcissa... she makes fun of him

the sun and the star (solangelo book)

i wanted so badly to make this jegulus but that makes 0 sense so it's nobleflower (narcissa is a daughter of pluto, alice is a daughter of apollo)

not much to say here either, tbh, but yeah. they go to tartarus and they're gay together.

closing/outro

this was so fun to make. i doubt i'll ever write it (which means others are totally welcome to, as long as they credit this post for the idea and inform me first! i'd also love to help others write it) but this was very fun to think about. i'm planning to make a part 2 with riordianverse (pjo/toa/hoo) characters at hogwarts so stay tuned for that. thanks for reading!

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deadinsideart · 2 years ago

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Back on my bullshit with another swap au

Details below!

Layton gets the crown sometime after the experiment happens, he finds it on an expedition and puts it on out of curiosity. (I don't know what his title could be lmao) And like Simon, goes insane from wearing it.

But he's kind of like a mix of Ice King and Winter King (minus WK's selfish personality) more Ice King but British Gentleman in the mix is what I'm trying to go for with him.

Luke takes Marceline's place and gets found by Layton in the ruins of London. He is gifted a Teddy Bear. (I guess Clive could also be there too?) And is cared for until Layton can't stay in control and leaves in fear. He doesn't do the Princess thing like Ice King but he IS searching for Claire, and it's for closure more or less and everyone he finds and takes, none of them are her. But instead of setting them free, they stay in the Ice Kingdom like a massive prison. Mad ruler or scientist vibes or something??

He can't remember what she entirely looked having forgotten her face long ago. Meeting Flora for the first time in this messes him up for a moment. When he sees Luke again he can't even remember him, but knows they have a connection. He only recognizes Luke from the fact that he's popular with his puzzle-solving skills. Like "Remember You" Luke learns to accept this and forgives him for having to leave. He still calls him Professor and occasionally switches to Hershel. Which he has no memory of and assumes it's an odd nickname.

Clark isn't like Hudson but their relationship is much like how it is in Last Spectre. A misunderstanding rather than being evil and stealing souls.

Instead of what happens in canon, the time machine worked too well and sent her 1,000 years into the future. And doing what Betty does in trying to help him like how she tried to help Simon. Eventually becoming Golb in the end. Even after toying with the idea of accepting that Layton won't ever be back.

Flora is Finn in this and she grew up lonely. She had her robot family but she wanted to see the outside feel the ground on her hands and share her creations with others. She was allowed once she proved she could handle the outside when a monster had attacked the village. And she set out into the world and set up a shop for her robots. And loves to explore and go adventuring. Helping others making a certain Ice Wizard leave people alone and freeing those who got kidnapped. Flora meets Luke when she finds her apples are being drained of color. Picked from the trees and left on the ground. She caught him and he promptly apologized. They reached an agreement about it though and grew close. Siblings frfr. And Luke gives her advice when she needs it.

(Luke took the older sibling role this time)

That's kinda it for now

I hope to draw more of the sillies

#my art #digital art #professor layton #claire foley #hershel layton #luke triton #flora reinhold #doodles #au #swap au #adventure time #at

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seriousbrat · 7 months ago

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Well if you must known my admittedly biased opinion, I’ve always pictured Remus bedroom to be quite funky! Based on the decor he brings to his DADA classroom, he strikes me as a collector or cool things. I also read him as someone very creative with an artistic personality (based on the spells he taught Harry, which tap into emotions and imagination), and as a lonely isolated child, I like to think he covered the walls with little art projects. James’s bedroom would be a close second, but only because you painted a great picture - he struck me a bit as the wizard equivalent of kid with a bed shaped like a racing car before you brought up William Morris. Let’s say Remus has the bedroom I would like to have and James has the bedroom any kid would like to have.

Also for the first time ever you have given me a wrong answer! James cannot comment Quidditch matches because he’s in the team, which makes him either busy or biased (I should have specified this is a Hogwarts match). To answer this question you can swap him for Lily (who I think would be charming, but objectively bad at following the gameplays).

Now you gotta also give us the tour of Lily’s bedroom! Does she share it with Petunia?

Honestly I definitely see your point about Remus! And yeah I agree James would have something of a racing car bed vibes bedroom lol. The thing is his parents' taste in decor is immaculate but James is more of a stereotypical boy and just covers it in quidditch stuff lol. So you're right, personally I'd prefer Remus (or Lily's) bedroom but for a kid James's would be the coolest.

also lmao I've let you down!! I was trying to be objective about who would be the best skill-wise, obviously James can't commentate if he's playing 😭 honestly I don't think Sirius would want to commentate but he'd be a pretty droll commentator, he'd be quite funny. Absolutely biased and vicious in his remarks about the rival teams, but very clever and entertaining. So if I have to exclude James then I'll go Sirius. Podcaster vibes.

Okay Lily just has the cluttered quirky girl aesthetic that I really vibe with! I don't have her sharing with Petunia, luckily for them because that would be awful and they have VERY different ideas about decor. I see Lily's bedroom as small but bright, cheery, a bit messy but in a quirky girl way obv. It's full of witchy stuff like potion supplies, spellbooks, dried herbs, but also posters of artists like David Bowie and Brian Ferry and a record player+vinyl collection. Colourful quilted bedspread, window nook for reading and being melancholy. The family cat loves hanging out in there.

Let me just dump some Lily bedroom inspo!

#replies #lily

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blacklister214 · 5 months ago

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Wicked (2024) Minor Criticism

I just saw Wicked and LOVED it! There were so many amazing things about it, and only two minor things I would have adjusted. I tried to make a post about everything that was great, but it was taking WAY too long. Instead I decided to write on the two small items I feel could have been handled better:

(SPOILERS)

Why couldn't they have given Elphaba and Fiyero a longer conversation right before the Dillamond's firing? Fiyero has long had a point: Why did Elfie not put him out of commission? This is particularly confusing in the movie when she DOES send Galinda to snoresville despite their longer acquaintance and recent secret swap. A longer conversation might have also helped explained how Elfie knows he is unhappy. Don't get me wrong, they got a lot right with them, but this bugged me.

This version of Sentimental Man seemed insincere and manipulative and I prefer it delivered as more genuine. I always saw Wonderful as the primer to the Wizard's character. His evil is a result of a weak character and a need to be loved everyone. I believe his life is very lonely, given that only Morrible knows the truth about him. I believe he truly saw Elphaba as someone he could have a personal bond with. I would have liked to have felt that a little more in this film. Afterall the Wizard needs to be truly fond of Elphaba for Part 2 to work. Hopefully Part 2 will do a stupendous job with Wonderful and alleviate my concerns.

#wicked 2024 #wicked the movie #wizard #fiyero x elphaba

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eddieredmayneargentinablog · 9 months ago

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"The Day Of The Jackal Series Trailer Has Eddie Redmayne As A Master Assassin".

By Ben Travis for Empire online, July 29th, 2024.

We’ve seen Eddie Redmayne in all kinds of modes over the years – as genius physicist Stephen Hawking in The Theory Of Everything, as introverted wizard Newt Scamander in the Fantastic Beasts films, as a megalomaniacal space deity in Jupiter Ascending. But now, we’ll see him in an all-new light – the series adaptation of classic ‘70s thriller film The Day Of The Jackal has Redmayne as its titular Jackal, a master assassin whose sharp-shooting exploits find him hunted down by the authorities. Here, that’s Lashana Lynch’s intelligence officer Bianca, ready to embark on a cat-and-mouse chase to take the Jackal down.

The series is a new adaptation of Frederick Forsyth’s novel of the same name (previously re-adapted as 1997 Bruce Willis-starring film The Jackal), but swaps the ‘70s setting for the current political climate. Top Boy creator Ronan Bennett is on writing duties, with Brian Kirk (formerly behind multiple early episodes of Game Of Thrones) in the director’s chair, while the cast also includes Thrones’ Charles Dance, Guardians 3 villain Chukwudi Iwuji, and Richard Dormer. The series will be available on Sky in the UK, and will arrive on Peacock in the States.

Here’s the official synopsis: “An unrivalled and highly elusive lone assassin, the Jackal, (Eddie Redmayne) makes his living carrying out hits for the highest fee. But following his latest kill, he meets his match in a tenacious British intelligence officer (Lashana Lynch) who starts to track down the Jackal in a thrilling cat-and-mouse chase across Europe, leaving destruction in its wake.” The Day Of The Jackal comes to Sky (and Peacock) from 7 November.

#eddie redmayne #eddieredmayne #redmayne #the day of the jackal #empire magazine

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deepseaspriteblog · 2 years ago

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My Rose-verse (Bouquet-verse?) is looking a little lonely with just her there so I made some Roxy swaps to go with them. Beta kids for now! I wanted to give them all unique names like the bouquet squad which proved to be a bit more difficult since I ran out of cool four letter names that start with R. But anyway, here's:

Roxy Egbert, aka Razz Egbert - Wizard enthusiast with an interest in high fantasy and roleplaying. Loves worlbuilding. Razz is probably a nickname.

Roxy Lalonde(b), aka Rima Lalonde - Kinda lonely, but pretends it doesn't bother her. Writes a very specific type of romance novel. Would talk anyone's ears off if she could.

Roxy Strider(b), aka Roni Strider - Lead singer of Roxy and The Red Hearts, a Joan Jett tribute act. Has secret dreams of becoming her own thing, though. Likes to party, and might be a bit too irresponsible.

Roxy Harley, aka Risa Harley - An absent-minded genius. A bit eccentric and silly, but don't underestimate her- Not only does she have a deep understanding of biology, she's also capable of making her own gadgets.

#homestuck #homestuck sprite edit #sprite edit #roxy lalonde #roxy strider #roxy egbert #roxy harley #roni strider #rima lalonde #risa harley #razz egbert #kidswap

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carnivoreofthesea · 1 year ago

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in your swap AU; how does pike wizard/amber, slime wizard/goobert and most importantly (the precious and need to be protected) lonely wizard would look like ?

are they now grimora's pupils now or still with mags but they are now undead ?

HI OK IM SO EXCITED TO ANWSER THIS BECAUSE I AM SOOO SO NORMAL ABOUT IT HEHAHDJAKDJADJ!!!

THERES A LOTOF STUFF UNDER THE CUT

So with magmento (mags), I did originally plan to have his pupils be in the crypt but it was getting too long. They're grimmoras pupils traits, But they have His students names and a few key features.

Pike wizard -> Decapitated Scholar

"Do not pity me, It was all worth my while."

Being a mortician before she died, She had made new ways to cremate the dead and be preserved longer. However she ended up dying from a mixture of chemical poisoning after inhaling some of the ingredients used in said embalming and an unfortunate accident. Her skin had become more frail and she had restered her head on one of the spikes on her fence. Poor baby got impailed without even realising it :[. She hopes that she could use her body to make a less deadly way of preservation, To no avail yet. She looks pretty similar to normal Amber but instead of a helmet she wears a mourning veil! Also her little spike is a singular fence post that looks a lot more fancy. She has the same concept as Amber, Hurting herself to be more appreciated by her scrybe (although its more the concept of death she was trying to pay respects to) and still being in servitude when the player comes.

Goobert (my baby boy <3) -> Goo pile

"Please, Please! Arghhhh... Battle me! I'm promise I am more than just a gnarled mess!"

Died in a horrible accident, Something that contorted and squished him past being recognized. His death was more famous than the life he lived, So now he strives to be remembered for something other than his death! He's trying so hard, please just give him affection :[. a lil kissie on the head for always trying new things and working to be good at them! He looks pretty similar to goobert, if not more. Gross <3. I’M SORRY BUT HE WOULD BE NASTY… He would be a pile of just random sludge and liquids, if you’re lucky you could find bits of melted skin? Purrrhapes his ghostly body would piece itself together but even then he would look like a nasty little pile of grossness. I love you babay… but you are nasty.. I would still hold him though!! Just put the goofy goober in a jar again please.

Lonely wizard (ALSO MY BABAY!!) -> Loney Dominguez

"PLAY A GAME! PLEASE?! I need something to do!"

He was quite young when he died, Being a coma was terrible considering he was such a rambunctious kid! He couldnt see or hear or move, but he could feel his body and think. Even when he died, Magmento trapped him in his coffin out of fear. He's not good with kids... Especially ones that are 6 FEET TALL. That may have been related to his death but I haven't decided yet. Also think of just a huge coffin that's hidden away under the main room, the player finds it and he’s just like. “Oh yeah, that's the crazy kid, He bites. I think.” And then you just see the coffin violently shake and scream. He has normal anatomy and would just be a very VERY rotting body. Like yes, he has formed, just melty and turning into goop. Maybe a few bugs live with him so he isn’t as lonely… Also think it would be funny if he still had a hyper fixation about wizards out of spite. Let my baby like his wizards damnit.

James cobb -> James Hobbes

"Oh neat. A player, Let's do it."

A mellow player who died... How did he die? His tombstone says he drowned but he doesn't have any signs of it like the others do. In fact he might even tell you that it's fake. He won't tell you how he actually died but as long as it solves the puzzle who cares? He's probably the most normal guy you'll meet, Also is very tired. Like. let the guy nap. please. strangely modern. Uses slang and sometimes makes suggestive comments but he's a baby girl for that. He’s actually a fairly healthy corpse, Only slightly pale and occisonally goes stiff. His hands are deathly cold but at least his hair is still a bright red. Good for him! Good for him :].

GRIMETHS ARE SO SILLY PDSUIAUFHIUFHW MANIC LAUGHTER

James Cobb -> Kaycee Cobb

“Don’t you wonder what’ll happen? C’mon, I wanna find out.”

IM TALKING F. R. E. AY KAYYYY. SHE IS MY FAVORITE CAN YOU TELL BATTING MY EYELASHES SO MUCH WHEN I TALK ABOUT HER. ANyways she’s the sillayest wizard ever. She doesn’t take herself seriously and just straight up tells the player that she enjoys being stuck in there. Its literally her dream and she uses magic to fuck herself up. She can finally have gender goals of occasionally turb herself into whatever the fuck she wants! Don't like feeling of skin? SIMPLY BECOME A SKINLESS BEING FOR A LIL! god i love her sm… She definitely indulges in the whole wizard shit and has a whole over the top outfit. other than that still very greasy <3

Lonely wizard -> Royal Wizard (GOD I LOVE HIM)

“YARGGGG! WATCH ME SKILLS, YE LANDLUBBER!!”

Oh my god. Peek tism. Category five tism events. He's a pirate obsessed wizard who has a problem with summoning things. Specifically. a ford f150. vehicular manslaughter never ends. He's very confident in his skills and thinks he should be a head wizard or at the very least a card, However he can only do a few spells… God he’s so silly I love him. He's a low poly pirate that I’m thinking of making black. give mah boy some pirate dreads!!! Why? Because IT LOOKS COOL. Anyways he locked away in a ship in a bottle by Grimeth as a “final test”. He's never getting out.

Goobert -> Stinking mass

“Ohhhh… Yes… Perhaps I’ll cast a spell that will finally make me disappear..”

Oughhh… Gender dysophoria baby… I love you poor baby. Turned himself into a pile of… Something? Honestly he doesn't even know. His final test is to turn back, And he’s trying real hard! The thing is, It would probably be easier if he was going to transform into who originally was but he didn't like how liked he looked… He wants to transform into something better to prove himself to be better than how he looked. god my baby. i need to hold him.

Bone lord -> Eye.

Need I say more? Its a painted eye in a black room that speaks in fucking wing dings.

#inscryption #inscryption au #inscyption #inscryption swap au #swap au #au #alternate universe #oh my god i love them #ALSO ALREADY DRAWING BABAY GURL KAYCEES #I LOVE HWR SM #you dont understand #I LOVE HER #ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!#THIS WAS WONDERFUL ANON KISSING YOU!!#anon ask #anonymous #go submit asks!!!#ask #ask me anything

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csphire · 1 year ago

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For the couple questions meme, 2, 5 and 17 for Tavetha/Dammon, and 3, 6, and 15 for Anna/Astarion? 👀

In my excitement, I may have gone a little overboard. Be warned @itstheelvenjedi heheh...

Tavetha/Dammon (From Sweetums and Sunshine) 2. Do they like each other's friends? Do their friends like them? I would like to think so, after an adjustment/getting to know you period most people go through.

At worst, there is a very real but still playful rivalry between Tavetha and Rolan where they try to magically outdo one another but also swap little tricks like baking recipes. Come to think of it they exchange those too. Lia, Cal, and her will also gang up on and mercilessly tease Rolan but only when he gets too full of himself. Dammon often will back one of his oldest friends up if three of them get too roundy. Tavetha’s little secret pet project when it comes to Rolan is finding him someone special. Since Lia and Cal have seemed to find their someones she’s deep down worried about Rolan feeling lonely.

As for Dammon when it comes to Tavetha’s friends, he's a little shy and unsure of how to be around Astarion and Lae’zel the most at first. The elf is so outgoing, rule-bending, and flirty, and our favorite blacksmith I see as more reserved, straight-laced, and introverted. Until Astarion learns to dial it down and Dammon realizes he needs to loosen up a little, things are polite but a touch awkward. Dammon also had zero clue how to chit-chat with Lae'zel until the subject armor and weapons were brought up. But even then their knowledge only overlaps a little as they come from two very different standpoints of user and creator. However, she doesn’t look down on him for not being a warrior and offers to give him a few pointers on how to dodge and at least avoid getting hit. She also respects his craft and provides feedback on how to improve the designs of weapons and armor from her experiences in combat of what works and what doesn’t.

When it comes to Gale, Dammon is an expert on how to chat a wizard up as his father is one and he spent most of his childhood growing up around them and other magically inclined peers. He finds Gale far more charming, and believe it or not, humble than most he’s delt with in the past.

Shadowheart, Halsin, Jaheira, Misnc, and Dammon are perhaps the most indifferent to one another but not unkindly so. Honestly, I just can't think of anything they could talk about besides the weather, swap a few stories, and debate over current events. My version of Dammon is he struggles a bit with idle conversation but he tries his best to be at least a polite listener. But if you come to him with a problem he’s great at providing thoughtful questions to help guide them to a solution.

Out of all of Tavetha's friends when it comes to Zevlor, Dammon is ever polite but it's for her sake alone. Like many tieflings from Elturel, he struggles with trusting their former leader or staying civil for long. Not after what Zevlor did and the events that unfolded in the Shadow Cursed lands. Anger will slowly build in Dammon the longer Zevlor is around. Eventually, Dammon will need to excuse himself or he will, in rare form, lose his temper and start calling out and confronting Zevlor about what he did. Perhaps it's easier for Tavetha to forgive the older tiefling because she did not witness the slaughter that resulted firsthand. But then she understands more than Dammon about what it was like to hear the Absolute's voice and fall prey to it. These realizations came to both of them after a few long, painful, but necessary talks after Zevlor paid his first few visits.

On a lighter note, I like to think Dammon and Tavetha also end up spending time with other married/coupled friends such as Bex and Danis, Wyll and Karlach as well as Alfira and Lakrissa.

5. How do they sleep?

In true dragon sorc fashion, Tavetha tends to make both a nest of and hoard the covers as well as sprawl over the entire bed. But at least she drapes over or even sleeps on top of Dammon protectively rather than pushing him out of it. That is when he's not spooned up behind her with his chin resting upon the top of her head and his every limb wrapped around her.

These two are, in Astarion’s words, “the most absolutely disgustingly clingy cuddle whores” when they sleep together. They rarely sleep apart. Both run hot, and after so many cold nights apart, as they made their way to Baldur’s Gate separately, they crave a lot of skin-to-skin contact and sharing their warmth. So sharing a small bed or snoozing together on a lounger of some sort is not a problem for them. If they drift off after sex Dammon will usually hold her very close and even stay inside her. Yes, they are that clingy. Perhaps another factor as to why this happens is during the day Dammon and Tavetha are pretty focused with their various projects. Some of it is sweaty and usually, it's Dammon who doesn't want to get Tavetha dirty. So until they both call it a day and wash up they only share a few pecks at most.

Mindful of the sharpness of his horns Dammon rarely if ever ends up falling asleep on Tavetha’s breast or stomach and the same goes with any other guest to their bed. He’s not a fan of wrapping or capping his horns at night. So he takes care to keep his head up above anyone else's. He gets a little nervous over his vestigial wing tips and clawed toes scratching her too so he’s picked up the habit of filling them down a little to blunt them and sometimes even wearing a nightshirt or socks to bed.

Is Dammon’s tail wrapped about her calf, thigh, hip, or waist? Oh yes, nearly all of the time. He doesn’t sleep well and struggles to fall asleep even if he can’t wrap his tail around some part of her. Tavetha doesn’t mind one bit. If she had a tail, she's be wrapping it around him right back. His only presents a minor challenge if she needs to sneak off to pee or raid the kitchen in the middle of the night.

17. Do they believe in marriage? Yes but… they are open to more partners to create a semi-closed polycule. They don’t sleep with strangers or do anything on a whim, it’s just not their thing. Careful consideration regarding all parties and a deep and trusting friendship must come first. Dammon and her are most of the time a package deal. They live together full-time at his forge and are the first to marry and start trying for a baby once the city is saved.

So their other partners, what’s the setup? Karlach of course Dammon and Tavetha pounced once she became touchable. She was the first they both fell in love with hard and together they helped her make up for ten very long and frustrating years. Astarion’s interest was peaked by all this but he wasn’t ready for anything more than flirting, cuddling, and kissing until a few months after his master was slain and the elder brain was destroyed. When Karlach had to go back to the hells that’s when she and Wyll grew very close and fell deeply in love.

Who all stays with them? Mostly Karlach and Wyll once her heart is all sorted out along with Astarion before that. All three of them are the more extroverted ones who work outside of the home and play a hand in helping run the city. Tavetha and Dammon are both introverted artisans who spend all day making things at home. Dammon of course is busy making his weapons and armor. Tavetha creates and enchants jewelry and even some of Dammon's finished pieces. They don’t deal with customers directly so much anymore and leave that task to Cal, Lia, or Rolan at Sorcerer's Sundries who take a small cut.

All five of them are intimate with Halsin and Shadowheart too but only on occasion as they both only visit once in a great while.

Look, it’s not as wild as one thinks. Not everyone is having sex constantly with everyone else. Some couplings happen once in a blue moon. There’s more swapping of partners, group cuddles, and only occasional threesomes or foursomes. An all-out orgy is rather rare and just sometimes happens. Once or twice a year at most and it’s never really planned.

Habits over time have emerged too on who sleeps more with whom. Karlach and Wyll tend to pair up more together. The same goes with Tavetha with Dammon. Astarion tends to split his time among the four equally. He likes sleeping in between them all if only to get extra warmed up and spoiled. He occasionally goes off to pay a visit to Sebastian or Halsin. He also has unspoken dibs to pounce Halsin first whenever he comes to the city. Shadowheart prefers just to have sex with Tavetha, Karlach, Wyll or Halsin on occasion. But honestly most of the time everyone is cuddling and kissing far more than having sex.

Gale and Lae’zel have been offered to join in however they please but both have declined so far as polyamory is not their thing and that’s okay.

(This all sorta just evolved because I can’t stand the idea of some of the characters missing out on various romance options. I love all of them and like to think in Faerûn polyamory is far less stigmatized and vilified.)

Anna/Astarion (From Rosemary, Lilacs, Lilies and Bergamot and Purples, Blues, and Gold.)

3. What's their favorite thing to tease each other about?

They don’t tease each other a great deal. They’re surprisingly gentle and reassuring with each other’s egos. Well, at least at first once they figure out each other’s limits it does pick up. They bicker like an old but still very happy married couple right from the start.

Instead of disapproving at worst, Astarion now only teases Anna for being still such a bleeding heart for every charity case they come across.

Anna tends to tease him for primping more than she does. When it comes to going anywhere it’s him that always makes them “fashionably late.”

They joke over their mutual little crushes regarding Dammon, Wyll, and Karlach. Astarion especially loves to point out Anna seems to have a strong preference for the infernally touched.

Lastly, they do imitate one another but this also kind of falls into what habits they take from one another too.

6. Do they have pet names for each other? Do they like them?

It took Anna a while to use one pet name on the regular which she secretly settled upon the moment she began to fall in love with him. She fell fast and hard for him, despite her jaded heart and his few red flags. One of her flaws is although she can charm and flirt causally as well as any warlock, deep down she doesn’t have much confidence when it comes to romance when she starts to deeply care about someone. Other more generic endearments such as my dearest, husband, my dear, sweetie, and honey all came easy. But calling him Star for some reason felt more important and deeply personal.

Similar to Astarion she’s been hurt deeply in the past, feels tainted, and unworthy of love. She can be triggered too, freeze up, and even lash out just as bitterly as he does. She can hide it most of the time and seem aloof and calm but in reality, she might be silently panicking and figuring out how to flee a situation that’s overwhelming her emotionally.

The first time she called him Star was when they were in the full throws of having sex for the first time. As she climaxed, harder than she had ever had before, she couldn’t hold back and it slipped out in a half-choked and moaning kinda way against his ear. Astarion chucked it up to just an interruption or cut off on his name and didn’t think much of it. The second time she screamed it when he took a particularly vicious strike, dropped like a stone, and blacked out. After that, she would murmur or whisper it on occasion when fast asleep or when she thought he was deep in his revelries as they cuddled together in his tent.

Astarion found her singular unique endearment for him sickeningly too adorable, lazy, and hardly original. (He also loved it dearly.) Worse a quiet desperation would grow in him if more than a few days went by without him hearing that “utterly silly nickname pff” pass her lips in some form or another. Something about the name Star lightly scratched at the barrier to his memories before he was turned. He could only guess that perhaps someone long ago used that term of endearment too. His mother? A lover? A friend? He had no idea but whenever Anna called him Star he felt like he reclaimed a small piece of home.

He made a point to at least offer a delighted soft knowing smile when she slipped and called him Star for the first time in front of the others. Even better it took her a few seconds to realize what she had done before she so deeply blushed the cutest shade of pink and clamed up. He will never forget how she offered a slow shy smile back when he drew near and she instantly relaxed when he kissed her forehead. When it dawned on her that he was not annoyed or would mock her choice the only time he now hears his full name is when she grows cross with him or is striving to be very serious.

As for Astarion’s pet names for her, we all know he calls the player character darling, dear, and my sweet. But there is one I have for just Anna that came about because I used to daydream a lot about her playing with his pewter (I’m guessing) buttons on his old coat in Early Access.

She played with them whenever they cuddle. One in particular she messed with far too much to the point it ended up wiggling loose and just popping off in her hand. She’s a touch horrified and unsure what to do as she knows he takes great pride in his appearance. With someone else, who was abusive to her in the past, this kind of thing would have also resulted in her getting screamed at or worse. So in a moment of panic, she tucks it away into her pocket. Thankfully, he doesn’t notice it’s missing until later and assumes it just fell off at one point during the day.

Since it’s the third button down on his left side he mentions he’ll just need to relocate one of the lowest ones or one from under his belt to make the loss less obvious. But he will still be missing one and she can tell it deep down bothers him a little bit more than he will ever admit. She, of course, riddled with worry and guilt, offers to repair it for him. But before she can confess to accidentally tearing it off, he assures her a missing button is hardly of consequence. They do face bigger problems after all. He insists he can repair it himself and for her to not make such a fuss over it. So she reluctantly relents and decides to keep his button safe upon a bit of cord about her neck.

After every skirmish from then on, she developed a habit of checking him over for any damage, his coat included. He in turn does the same for her. Most of his attacks are ranged and even when he needs to get closer a majority of their enemies' hits never land. To his relief, he also doesn’t lose any more buttons, and any cuts or tears to his flesh or coat he manages to patch up overnight. Sometimes they help one another with soothing wounds. But there are a few nights when he feels more peckish than usual and in abundance of caution he advises her to keep her distance.

Gradually he also notices she fiddles with his coat buttons far less after he lost the one. Even going so far as to snatch her hand back to play with something about her neck on occasion instead.

He can never make out what it is as it seems so small that at first, he thinks she is just pinching a tiny button upon her coat shirt. Or it’s some old trinket she had on her before they were abducted he assumes. His curiosity is piqued but he never presses her about it as whatever it is seems to soothe her nerves or bolster her confidence again when feeling low. She would often seek to hold it while discussing their options and next move. Perhaps it held a helpful enchantment of incredible value if she so zealously hid it away from everyone, him included. Or it’s something her patron gifted her that would keep them in touch. Whatever it was he tried not to take it personally as it was just one little thing she decided to keep only to herself.

But then one night it happened. A small glint of something slipped free from her slack fingers as she drifted off to rest. Unable to resist he takes a peek and finally, spies in the darkness what she holds so very dear to her heart.

His missing button. Incidentally, one that had also been closest to his own heart, and in that moment he realizes just how deeply she truly loves him.

As if the pet name she calls him softly now and then, after the first night they made love, had not made it abundantly clear. With a smile, he finally settles upon a new and equally unique endearment for her and rests lightly until dawn.

The moment she stirs he breaks his trance leans in and affectionately whispers, “Good morning... my dearest button.”

”Mmm wha... good morning to you too my star,” she murmurs back with a confused but happy glow to her features under his warm gaze. Her mind is a little sluggish having just woken up. It takes a few moments before what he called her sinks in and she gives a little gasp of guilt. Her hand reached and clasped his simple button tight.

He wonders what she was bracing for and realizes, "You tore it off, didn’t you?"

"I didn't mean to! And I did try to offer to sew it back on. Still, I should have given it back. I'm-"

"No, I want you to have it,” he assured her before she could apologize. None was needed. Her sentimental nature tickled him as he teased, "If only you will spare my others."

15. What habits or characteristics have they picked up from each other?

What habits did Astarion pick up from Anna? Hum…this is a tough one. Aside from now having a slightly more charitable nature, humming. Yes, she hums often as she’s too shy to sing and is better at remembering a melody over lyrics. He’s not as good at it. He’s more nasally and rougher sounding. He kinda teases her with it by coming up behind her or another and playfully humming extra horribly when he wants attention.

In a small way to show affection, Anna would often help tidy him up. Pluck some leaves out of his hair, brush off some lint upon his shoulder, and adjust something just a bit off or out of place. Of course, at first, she always asked. But once he started doing it back seeking permission first defaulted to them just plucking and grooming one another on the regular like two cooing and fussing love birds.

What ones does Anna pick up from Astarion? Some of his more dramatic mannerisms and expressions. “What in the sweet hells were you thinking!” and simply declaring, “Shit” when she knows she fucked up for starters. All and all she learns how to move more gracefully and even strut a little thanks to him.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #couple questions meme #dammon #dammon x tav #astarion x mc #polyamory #karlach #Wyll #this was fun #ty for the asks

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