#suicide ideation tw maybe?

[paintedcrows]

Ever think about how Bill Cipher has canonically threatened every member of the Pines family, except Stanley, with suicide? I think about that a lot... Kid's show villain everyone!

Individual Panels below the cut!

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

hey you know what would be like. the WORST possible thing? if no time had passed for mortals during God Games. if the entire time, Odysseus had just been frozen on that ledge. and at the start of the Vengeance Saga, Ody's still on the ledge. he looks to the skies, to the trees, out over the ocean. he looks for an owl with knowing eyes and strains to hear her voice over the waves, because surely, surely she'd come for him. the haven't spoken in nine years and he ruined whatever relationship they had when he stupidly, foolishly let the cyclops live, but she has to still care, right? she was his mentor. she was his patron. he meant something to her. he's sure of it

but she's not there. he waits, but she's not there. he closes his eyes, sparing himself the view, and steps off the ledge

and is saved by Hermes. and Odysseus briefly thinks that he has died, since Hermes escorts souls to the underworld. but Hermes assures him that, no, he's alive, Athena heard him, she bargained with Zeus, he can go home now. he can finally go home

his friend came through

[chiliger]

This was actually the first comic I sketched of this series.

[memepocalypse]

can't do it

"there's nothing left in me."

"don't you get it? it's over."

"i'm tired, i want to go home, and i don't care any more."

"i feel like shit."

"I just want to rest, i don't want to do this any more."

"i'm going to cry."

"I'm sick and tired and fed up."

"this isn't what i wanted. none of this is what i wanted."

"I give up."

"i don't care if you think i'm weak."

"i'm going home and you can't stop me."

"it's someone else's problem now."

"people need to stop asking me to do things."

"i don't care if i die right now."

"i'm going to bed, do not wake me up."

[cherrywperson]

yapperbert 3 (tw for suicidal ideation under the cut I GUESS??)

[cursed-rat-of-homosexuality]

how we feelin

(gif by @usermeggy)

pain. I feel pain

[there-will-be-a-way]

Thinking about how much of my addiction really is just self medication. Like, if I could stop my thoughts from racing and if I could stop myself from feeling this way without alcohol or weed I would just stop doing it. When I smoke weed I feel so fine. Like I find pleasure in just watching a movie which I can never do when I am sober. And with alcohol, it also numbs my feelings but weed is better.

Today one of my support workers met me when I was on my way to buy alcohol and he asked me how I'm doing, where I'm going and I told him, lied to him, that I was on my way to buy a burger at Penny so he drove me there and drove me back home and it felt like the hugest betrayal because he said I'm too smart to drink. But later I went to another store to buy alcohol. And he told me that I can always talk to him if something's on my mind but i feel like no one would understand or like i wouldn't have the words to explain. I don't want to be like this. I want to be someone, i so desperately want to be someone, who can bare this world sober. But I'm not.

[fiona-fififi]

...

[ftmsimonriley]

thinking about how technically, simon riley is dead and there's another man's burnt up corpse in the grave marked with his name, taking up that spot next to everyone he ever loved.

and that sometimes ghost is less careful on solo ops, especially the sabotage ones where his only objective is to exfil at the end, nothing at risk if he were to die. and usually he had a good self preservation instinct, at least better than soap's, but on no hours of sleep, bruised and beaten and malnourished after surviving on MREs for days, the brief contemplation of is it worth it? often pops into his head.

and after coming back shot twice, a mistake that everyone, even those who hadn't heard his report, knew could've been avoided. and soap avoids him while he's stuck in the hospital, mad. and ghost is back to his old self, quiet and reserved and cooperating at the bare minimum. price forces them into the same room, too fed up with their bullshit to let them come back together on their own terms.

and after tense silence, there's an argument. and eventually, sleep deprived and comfort seeking, ghost admits. there's no one waiting for him, and no grave for him to go to. if there's nothing lost in the mission, then he didn't see why it was a big deal that his body would get lost in some other continent. he knows everyone would be sad, but they were always prepared to lose one another.

soap calms down, and their relationship slowly goes back to normal for the rest of the time that ghost is healing. cut to a few months later, ghost is healed and gone through the physical therapy needed to get back into shape. he's about to be sent off on another solo op yet again, as it is his speciality. and soap stops him right before he gets to the tarmac, still in his sleep clothes and horribly underdressed for the weather.

and he hands him a photo of soap and the cat he had back in scotland who stayed with his sister while he was away. a reminder of why ghost should always come back. it stays tucked away in his vest for majority of the mission, only taken out during his down time. and it does motivate him, and if it's the reason that he comes back significantly less banged up than usual, then no one but he and soap have to know.

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

Hey, you probably already know this but there is no bad reason to stay alive. No bad reason to get better. Once, about three years and seven holes that didn't end up being by grave ago, I read a sci-fi book series about a grumpy robot and figured out that if it can learn to think of itself as a person, I can probably do that. I read an honest to god trainwreck of a webnovel but the MC slowly figured out he doesn't actually want to sacrifice himself, he wants to live, and I needed that, even if it came with clunky grammar and repetitive plot. I got into podcasts and comics that were still updating and I got a reason to look forward to a certain day of the week or the first of every month, and it might be a dumb reason to want to still be there next week but it is a reason and that's enough. I made up and played with stories that ended up abandoned but taught me stuff about myself while I figured out what the characters felt and why, and how they got better. The thing is, you can live for anything. And if the big shiny concepts of hope and getting better seem too impossible, you can stick around to roleplay characters flirting with a Tumblr mutual or to figure out how to make cosplay or to finish writing that one story. If the straws keep you above water, hold on to them for your fucking life. You can get more straws, maybe even a life preserver down the stream, hell, maybe you'll get to crawl out of the water entirely. What matters is that you're holding on to something now.

[great-tusk]

Ugh. I had a really bad day.

[4qu3er1us-punk]

one of the worst feelings is your parents not understanding.

“mom, im trans”

“i dont know about that, you dress pretty feminine”

until then i had essentially no masc clothing or anything and i was bullied for being ugly so i wore makeup. like

“mom, i think i have an eating disorder because i hate eating and am never hungry”

“is it because you wanna be skinny? do you not eat to be skinny? youre already skinny youve always been picky.”

it used to be because i thought i was fat when i was like 8 and it’s evolved into this since then but is no longer for that reason..

“mom i think im depressed. (explains symptoms of severe depression and borderline suicidal ideation but doesnt go into it or my hidden self harming because she’d be mad)”

“thats normal.”

what the fuck. also i got diagnosed so that shut her up

“mom can i go out with friends?”

“no. it doesnt matter that EVERYONE IN YOUR GRADE has had a sleepover before or gone to their friends houses or can go to a park a BLOCK AWAY from their house, their parents are crazy. besides you have to eat first its not my fault you refuse to eat”

so every parent of a high schooler in the world? and then she expects me to be PERFECT and happy but not hyper happy just not sad and mature and respectful and get straight a’s. also mom im not hungry and gave you a chance to look into it but fucking fine.

fine.

im. done.

im not gonna 💀 but im just done talking. im not talking unless im interacted with first anymore. im not doing anything other than exactly what she says anymore. i wont talk to my friends or do extracurriculars, just school. i will become a literal npc, since thats what she wants. she wont even call me her son or male terms, she rarely uses he/him and just uses they them, and on occasion calls me my preferred name rather than sis. she still calls me my deadname sometimes. she compares it to if she changed her name to lisa and i had to call her that. the difference is its not for mental health and safety and I WOULD DO IT CORRECTLY. is this toxic or am i dramatic? i just cant do it anymore.

[age-of-wonderbeasts]

[cw: suicide]

I think Adora was too ready to sacrifice herself throughout she-ra.

And I don't think it was 100% a "this is my destiny" thought process. I think Adora was passively suicidal. She had suicidal ideation.

If you think about it, there are at least 4 times where Adora is willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good.

The portal

Destiny Part 2

Save the Cat

The final three episodes of season 5.

I think Adora's struggle is on her personal self worth. Sure, everyone loves She-Ra, but that mantle can be held by anyone. To herself, Adora doesn't matter. That's why she wears the uniform, even after she left the Horde, because it gives her purpose. She doesn't know who she is behind her warrior princess front. To Adora, being a hero means being willing to give it all up, even your life, for the greater good. But that's not true.

In the beginning Season 5, we see Adora being reckless with her life as well. Throwing herself into battle, the lack of sleep, the intention to go it alone. She might not have actively wanted to die, but she definitely does not value her own life on equal footing to others.

And I wonder if this self-doubt, the crippling sense of worthlessness (that most of us struggle with on a minor level), and the willingness to throw her life away was instilled in her as a child, or if it is just a fatal flaw of her personality.

In Save the Cat, Adora DOES NOT HESITATE to jump down into the abyss after Catra. She was willing to risk it all to get her back. Even if it meant they'd both die. At least they would be together.

It takes not only Catra asking her what she wants, bur also Mara telling her she deserved love AND Catra confessing her love for her for Adora to want to live so strongly that she transforms into She-Ra. I know that the general consensus is that the confession of love sort of levelled her anguish of loving Catra and not knowing how to say it or what to say and meant she was able to turn into she-ra, but I would also like to propose that a part of that is because Catra had just given Adora a big enough reason for her NOT to be okay with her imminent death.

And I think we (as a fandom) talk about Catra's struggles a lot, especially in seasons 4 and 5, where she very obviously has 0 regard for her life. I have read (and written) many a fanfic where she's actively suicidal, even. But Adora's suicidal ideation seems to be glossed over. And I know it's glossed over in the show, I mean it is buried under the guise of destiny (especially since as a kids show you can't have characters saying "I want to die").

In other words, I really REALLY need Adora to get some therapy so she can start valuing herself as a living human being and not just a warrior.

If you struggle with suicide, please reach out to someone. My DMs are open if you need to talk, or you can Google hotlines for your religion. Take care of yourself. You're worth more than what you can give to other people, and you deserve love too. Please, stay.

[chestersbraincell]

Having anger issues+intrusive thoughts is crazy because what do you mean I just had a. Stressful interaction. With my mom. And now my brain is like yoooo wouldn’t it have been crazy if she tried to get near you to physically muffle you….wouldn’t it be crazy if you pushed her down the stairs in self defense…..wouldnt it be crazy to think of how to explain said action as self defense to not go to jail….wouldnt it be crazy to see your father finally snap and finally hate you for what you really are….wouldnt it be crazy to be given just that one final push to commit in a panic….dude….

[musical-chick-13]

GOD it sucks when you realize that losing someone would utterly devastate you, but if that person lost you, they'd consider it at most a mild inconvenience.

[junos-cacophony]

Why the fuck do I exist? Did God create me just to ruin others? I’m the cause of so much problems. If I didn’t fucking exist maybe things WOULD be better. Why the actual fuck did I do this. I’m a terrible fucking person. I wish I could just go to sleep & never wake up. Everything I fucking do ruins others. I ruin everything. Literally. How the fuck did I even get here? How am I still alive? Fear of death? Spite? I’m not sure. But I don’t want to be here anymore. I wish I could jump from the school rooftop & never look back. It’s so tempting. One day, I’ll try. Maybe by then I’ll have fixed all my mistakes.