#so i figured maybe if i put them together well enough someone who needs something like this will see them

[svnriseblvdd]

neighbour! clark kent x new girl! reader

SYNOPSIS: with your friend iris in town, the two of you head to a house party, where your short dress and a game of pool send clark's thoughts running wild again.

WARNINGS: reference to perv!clark/reference to general perversion, clark thinks extensively about reader's panties, most of it's innuendo and allusions i won't lie, chloe makes a slight reference to sex on/over a table, random football player starts leering and staring at reader's ass, indirect description of a boner, clark gets a peek of reader's panties, doggy but no sex? (you'll see - they're in the position, but clothes and underwear are still on), clark is still dying for some action.

i might come back and rewrite this part at some point in the future, because i had a couple more ideas i wanted to put in but couldn't figure out at the time, and the ending falls a little flat - i knew i wanted something extra, but i think it just lacks what i wanted.

part one! part two! part three! part four!

Your friend Iris is across the room while music flows through the space, loud and deep, settling into your bones. She’s flirting with a guy from the football team. You’ve already assured her she will not be borrowing your bedroom if she decides to hook up with the guy, so she might as well go home with him or just find a room upstairs to use. This house belongs to one of the football players, they’re always throwing big parties. 

Since Iris headed off ten minutes ago, you’ve been hovering a little awkwardly near the couches, except now there’s two couples making out on one of them, and then the other is filled with a group of friends you’re pretty sure are stoned out of their minds. 

So now you’re just looking for anyone to talk to or at least linger by without looking weird and lonely. Someone you know. 

Your face lights up in a smile when you notice exactly the people you need. Chloe and Lana are across the room, Chloe clearly judging people and Lana nodding her head either to the music or to Chloe’s comments. Lana smiles when she sees you, waving you over to them. 

You cross the room, greeting them both with a grin and an excited, “Hi!” 

“Hey, you look amazing!” Lana compliments. 

“Thank you! You’re so gorgeous!” 

“Is your friend having a good time?” 

“I’d say so,” Chloe says, looking toward Iris, who’s mid-makeout with the aforementioned football player. Good for her. 

Speaking of makeouts with football players, you need to find Clark. 

Clark spies you from across the room on his way back to Chloe and Lana, drink in hand. As always, he thinks he might combust. Your dress hugs your figure, clinging like a second skin, and it’s so short that if he follows the lines of your legs from your feet up, it feels like they might never end. 

And as always, his mind wanders. He thinks about how easy it would be to pick you up, wrap your legs around his waist. How your dress is short enough that it would hike up all by itself, bunching around your hips and showing off your panties. His x-ray vision means that he could just take a peek, but he refuses. It’s bad enough that he thinks about it, but to actually invade your privacy, to perv on you like that? He couldn’t. Surely not. He’ll let himself resort to his fantasies. His fantasies picture all manner of things. 

Black, like the dress - lacy, very simple and nothing out of the ordinary really, but entirely sexy. A bold red, maybe - it leaves little to the imagination, it only really covers the bare minimum and leaves the rest so plain to see. But then he pictures something lighter, a pastel pink or blue perhaps. And that’s what sends his mind into a frenzy. Delicate, soft in its colour, cotton and lace, the prettiest he’d imagined yet. Just like one he’d seen on your bed that time he came over to help put your furniture together. 

He approaches the three of you nevertheless, pushing his thoughts into the back of his mind. 

“Clark!” You greet him with your bright smile. 

“Hey!” 

“I want to play pool, do you want to join?” 

“Uh, sure?” 

“Great! I’ll get it set up, you come over when you’re ready.” 

He watches you walk away, hips swaying gently as you approach the pool table. “She’s so into you,” Chloe mutters, laughing. 

“What?” He asks, eyebrows quirked. “No, she’s not.” 

“Clark, she’s just invited you to go watch her bend over a table. Trust me, she’s into you.” 

His cheeks flush red as he shakes his head. “No. No, she’s just- she says and does things without realising.” 

“Oh, she realises,” Lana says, laughing a little. “She wants you to notice her.” 

“I do notice her!” 

“Not in the way that she wants. Not that she can see, anyway. To everyone else, it’s plainly obvious that you’re head-over-heels for the girl,” Chloe says. “Now go. She’s waiting for you.” 

He joins you over at the pool table, where you’ve set it up. It’s only now that it’s just you and him that he realises you’re tipsy. He can see it in your eyes and the lazy smile on your face, and the way you stumble just a little into him, holding his biceps for support. 

“Ladies first,” he says, watching you smile wider and turn to the table. 

You walk to the other end as Clark lifts the triangle, and you bend at the waist, lining up your shot. You split the balls, and the game begins. 

Halfway through, on your turn again, you bend at the waist once again, this time a little closer to Clark. And this time, one of the football players, Nathan, stares at your ass as you begin to bend over. Before he can see any more, Clark steps in the way, blocking Nathan’s view and shooting him a glare. 

Nathan raises his hands in surrender. “Sorry, Kent. I didn’t know y’all were like that.” And he moves on. 

Clark rolls his eyes a little. 

Right towards the end, with you surprisingly in the lead - although Clark’s willing to bet that he’s at a disadvantage, given that most of his blood is travelling in the opposite direction away from his brain and somewhere it is not currently needed - you go to take another shot. You evaluate a few angles, then decide on one. Clark is leaning against a wall, watching you move around the table with careful thought. And then you find your ideal angle. 

The best place you can take this shot from and still have a chance at potting it is by standing right in front of Clark. 

So you stand there, and bend over again. Clark hadn’t seen it before, careful to move with you so that he never had to be standing at an angle where he’d see much, if anything, when you bent over. But this shot was far too difficult to predict where you’d go, nowhere was ideal. So he’d stuck where he was and begged whatever power there was that you didn’t need to stand in front of him. But the powers are betting against him. 

You bend over, so your torso is at a parallel angle to the table, and line up your shot. And Clark doesn’t mean to look, really. But just like in the car the other day when he’d glanced at your tits, your ass is right there. How was he supposed to know that your dress was so short he’d be able to see your panties? 

The best of his fantasies are fulfilled when he glimpses your baby blue underwear, just like he imagined it. Cotton, but he can see the beginnings of lace detail. It covers you well, until it reaches your ass, where the material begins to thin, and it becomes just a flimsy thing that rests between your ass cheeks. He’d imagined the thong before, not half an hour ago. But now he was seeing it. 

You stumble a little, out of nowhere seemingly, and he’s quick to grip your hips to stabilise you. And now his crotch is pretty much against your ass. Now it just looks like he’s about to take you from behind. 

“Uh-” He lets you go. “You okay?” 

“Mm-hm. I’m about to win. I couldn’t be better.” 

“Yeah, well, there’s still time, don’t get your hopes too high.” 

Except Clark knows it would take a miracle for him to win now. His head’s too clouded with lust, his brain is so deprived of blood it should be concerning, and he’s so hard it’s painful. He thinks he might just finish in his pants any minute. And if he didn’t know better, he’d think that you’re doing this to him intentionally. But you’re too tipsy and he’s seen the way you are normally, always saying and doing things by accident or without realising the double entendre. 

Or so he thinks. 

Thing is, you didn’t really come here with a plan to try to rile him up. You know it never usually seems to work - Clark’s awkward, and far too respectful to objectify you, even if you’re practically begging him to (or so you think). You love how respectful Clark is, really, and you’re glad he was raised right, but just once you want him to throw that out the window, be as depraved as he can be, lustful and carnal. He’s so easily-flustered and touch-starved, you know that he has to have locked up all those urges and desires somewhere. You really didn’t plan anything tonight, the tipsiness seems to have done some of it for you. 

When you win the match a little later, you cheer and jump in celebration, Clark smiling at you and keeping his eyes very much on yours. You hug him joyfully, and he wraps his strong arms around you. 

It was strange how a man so physically imposing could hold so much comfort. 

~~~ 

“So, how was your night?” Iris asks over a cup of coffee as the two of you sit in the Talon. 

You smile. “Pretty good. You?” 

“Very good.” 

Later on, when Clark arrives with Chloe, Pete, and Lana, Iris wiggles her eyebrows at you, and you roll your eyes before inviting them to join you. 

The others all take their seats, leaving Clark to sit next to you. 

He looks flushed, but you choose not to comment. 

taglist;

@artyandink

@blueeweeb

@ssnapsaurus

@i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this

@milestellerismybf

@purple-1995

@writergiih

@elysianrosie

@glennussy

@rainwaterxx

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

Hey, you probably already know this but there is no bad reason to stay alive. No bad reason to get better. Once, about three years and seven holes that didn't end up being by grave ago, I read a sci-fi book series about a grumpy robot and figured out that if it can learn to think of itself as a person, I can probably do that. I read an honest to god trainwreck of a webnovel but the MC slowly figured out he doesn't actually want to sacrifice himself, he wants to live, and I needed that, even if it came with clunky grammar and repetitive plot. I got into podcasts and comics that were still updating and I got a reason to look forward to a certain day of the week or the first of every month, and it might be a dumb reason to want to still be there next week but it is a reason and that's enough. I made up and played with stories that ended up abandoned but taught me stuff about myself while I figured out what the characters felt and why, and how they got better. The thing is, you can live for anything. And if the big shiny concepts of hope and getting better seem too impossible, you can stick around to roleplay characters flirting with a Tumblr mutual or to figure out how to make cosplay or to finish writing that one story. If the straws keep you above water, hold on to them for your fucking life. You can get more straws, maybe even a life preserver down the stream, hell, maybe you'll get to crawl out of the water entirely. What matters is that you're holding on to something now.

[n0tamused]

Could I request Dr Ratio's s/o defending him when people insult him (calling him a boring lover and a man of loose morals)?

A/n: This request was long coming, but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless! Dr. Ratio defense squad, assemble! I feel a little rusty writing this, so I hope it's all good :,)

Contents: Veritas Ratio x GN!Reader, fluff, headcanon format

Words: 1163

-It is well known that Dr. Veritas Ratio is well known throughout the entire cosmos for his feats, but however good or grand those accomplishments may be, not everyone looks at them fondly

-Not to mention that one particular hater he has noticed posting about him for 10 years, without a stop? He honestly admires their persistence. It takes a lot to be a hater too y’know

-There was a time where even Veritas wasn’t made of tougher skin, when the comments really did get to him; thankfully, he had the patience and pride to get him through without publicly reacting in a way that would only fan those flames further. Still, some words have left their mark on him - even diamonds can suffer scratches and cracks

-You, as his partner, naturally knew of these things. You’ve picked up on them from the things he has told you and from his body language when put in certain situations. And when you did openly ask him about it, although he appears stiff, he did not lie to you in private

-Knowing his innermost opinions and his background was, probably, what drew you to be particularly defensive over your the plaster-head-donning professor. They were all so quick to judge, yet none of them took a moment to think how much hard work it actually took for Ratio to reach the position he was in now. Knowledge does not fall into your hands, you have to work for it.

-And one day, this inner justice seeker had gone short of patience. The academy was always filled with wandering students and professors alike, all chattering among each other during breaks. And you just happened to pass by a couple conversing about him. 

-Ears perked and focused on the little group, you heard them speak rather unsavory words about a professor. Words ‘hard exam, unpassable, books that were too thick and chalk being thrown’ were all mentioned in their conversation, and it truly didn’t take a genius to figure out who the person in question was. Then they began to throw out insults they wouldn’t dare speak in front of another professor, let alone Veritas. But worst of all, they touched upon the subject of his relationship, your relationship, making such wild claims you had to wonder whether they were really talking about Veritas or someone else. Even worse - since it can always get worse - an assistant professor joined in on this gossip, spilling a “fact” that he even had other lovers than you and that he had loose morals.

-WHAT?

-Feeling your blood boiling and teeth grinding together, you couldn’t hold it within yourself. It was wrong! Ratio worked for his place and knowledge and pay, and sure - his exams and classes were tough, but he was neither a bully or an unjust professor! 

-That little group heard you loud and clear, and one did try to argue back but was quickly silenced. And one tried to walk away - you didn’t let that happen either. The people close around stopped and gaped, and perhaps they saw similar or shared characteristics between you and Veritas, maybe that’s why they also didn’t feel brave enough to keep talking or leave before you’re done. Who is to say? But what’s true is that they listened to you. 

-As you were getting to the end of your speech of defense, a familiar figure walked out of one of the classrooms close by. Clearing his throat he sent you a look, ‘enough’ he said without a word, but he was not angry. The students were dismissed after he feigned ignorance to the situation, as if he hadn’t heard a peep outside of those four walls of the classroom. 

-”I am done for today, have you wanted something of me? Anything you need?” 

-He spoke calmly, but his eyes showed some softness you barely ever saw. It was a rare sight, a look reserved for when he looked at you in bed, having you in his arms or when you held him, when he told you he wasn’t staring or being ‘too sappy’, but he was just looking at you, perhaps even admiring ‘if he may be so bold as to say that’.

-”A walk would be nice, I even got us a spot at that restaurant for lunch”

-And so it was. The walk towards the location was unusually quiet, and somewhere along the way he uttered “You shouldn’t have caused such a scene in the hallway”, his tone once more lacking the anger many expected of him. 

-”I should have, and I did. They were being rude and such behaviour is not fit for any student” You have been a student once, and there were terrible professors and your own opinions of them had been sour at some points in time, sure, but to openly spit venom? That was ridiculous. Or were you perhaps being stubborn, hypocritical? You wouldn’t say so. They were being rude, period.

-”They are students, they are also young. Gossip, however much unsavory, and however much I do not like it, is natural for them. It is not something that needs to be challenged, especially in a situation like this”

-You gave him an unsatisfied look, and he returned it in equal measure. It would take a while to convince him.

-”It doesn’t matter.. I did what I did, because I had enough of hearing people spread lies about you.. Disagree with me as much as you wish, but I’d do it again”

-He sighed and shook his head. He wanted to say something more, but for once he chose to keep quiet. It was better to leave it be as you were still not cooled off from the encounter 

-The rest of the evening went well, and you touched upon the subject briefly, not going too in depth. Ratio told you about his day, the upcoming events and plans, and you told him about yours. It was enjoyable, and it certainly helped to calm you both down

-But once you both came home and changed into more leisure wear, you told him of the thorn you felt whenever people spoke badly about him. He only looked at you, told you he understand, but “My name has been through a lot, I can take it”

-You weren’t sure if you wanted to slap some sense into him or kiss your reasons into his skin. He may be used to it, but you weren’t and you didn’t plan on getting used to it. And even as you took his face firmly between the two of your hands and brought him closer so he could hear your crystal clear, even as you saw the defiance melting from his eyes, he looked more vulnerable than ever; not angry, not sad or shocked or disappointed - vulnerable.

-So with conviction you kiss his face more times than you care to count and tell him he is someone worth defending, no matter what

Ⓒ n0tamused/jarttavia_. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[clairecrive]

"Gorgeous and Untouchable" Eddie Munson x reader

A/n: thank you so much for requesting this lovely <3 this is definitely on the longer side but tbh I don't think it's that good. hope you enjoy!

Word count: 2.2+K

TW: tiny bit of angst, longing, unrequited love, fluffy end.

MY MASTERLIST

"You've ruined my life-"

Now this was new.

Eddie Munson, reigning freak of Hawkins High, was used to being avoided by most. On account of some stupid reason such as him being a devil worshipper and the likes.

Never had he thought to have enough influence or social presence to actually ruin someone's life. Unless they were trying to put their bad luck on him which... shouldn't surprise him at all.

Oh, to have such power...

He scoffed immediately losing himself to a daydream reality in which he actually had magic powers. Now that was a thought!

As he went to slam his locker door close, another piece of paper caught his eye.

What now?

"by not being mine." Read this one.

What?

Putting the two pieces of paper together he saw that it had been torn apart but it was actually the same piece of paper originally. So the complete message was "You've ruined my life by not being mine."

Rolling his eyes he closed his locker, now sure that it was just someone taking the piss out of him. Chuckling he threw the two pieces of paper in the trash without sparing them a second thought.

Little did he know, someone was watching him in that moment who, alas, didn't mean it as a joke at all.

"Oh well," they thought without losing spirit, "tomorrow we'll try again."

And try again they did. Every day, they would leave two little messages in Eddie's locker. One was to be found when he arrived at school and the other at the end of the day.

After the first two, which Eddie blatantly dismissed, he actually kept the rest of them. So, one day, after almost a week had gone by in this weird fashion, Eddie sat down in his room and put all the pieces together.

Tongue peeking out in concentration, Eddie rearranged them in chronological order. This proved more difficult than he thought because the messages weren't dated, of course, and they got all mixed up in the box where he had stored them.

After a while of playing Sherlock Holmes, he thought he got it. It added up to something like this:

You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face 'Cause look at your face And I'm so furious At you for making me feel this way But what can I say? You're gorgeous

He thought for a moment that he had made a mistake. He must have. Maybe they didn't have to be put in chronological order to be deciphered. Maybe there was another code he needed to figure out.

And so he tried to find one. For hours.

At one point he had to give up. Eddie plopped down on his bed. A frustrated scoff left him when he thought how much time he had wasted on this stupid thing.

Someone was messing with him. They must be.

The idea that those pieces of paper held a confession for him, never crossed his mind. It was unfathomable for Eddie to think that someone at school might actually think he was gorgeous. All he could think about was who the hell hated him so much to pull a prank this elaborate.

The next time Eddie went to school, he was hesitant to open his locker. Last time it was only some pieces of paper, but what if, with time, his pranker had grown bolder? Who knows what he was going to find this time.

When he finally did, though, he'd found that he needn't be scary. Eddie sighed in relief as yet another piece of paper fell to the ground by his feet.

This time, the paper had a distinct flowery scent to it. Eddie knew nothing of perfumes, let alone women's ones. But it was nice, he thought as he sniffed it again. He liked it. The other thing that was different this time, was the colour of the message. It was lilac and it read:

I'm caught up in you Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun and when you're close I feel like coming undone

Turns out that his secret admirer had become bolder indeed. Just not in the way Eddie expected. "Untouchable"? Him? People tended to stay away from him either because they believed the devil-worshipper rumours or not to taint their social standing. So he was having a hard time imagining someone coming undone in his presence.

Still not fully convinced this was genuine, Eddie shoved the piece of paper in his jeans as the bell rang.

Yet again, you watched as he walked away none the wiser of your presence. You knew that it was going to be hard to get Eddie to notice you. Even this way. However, you couldn't help but feel frustrated and helpless. You thought the perfume had been too much but a part of you hoped it'd be enough for Eddie to connect the dots.

"Not yet, I guess", you thought as you made your way to your class as well. I need to get even bolder.

You usually weren't this insistent. In fact, it wasn't really in your nature. Maybe that was why Eddie was having such a hard time connecting the dots and linking the pieces of paper back to you.

You had known him for a while now. Since the first year of high school. Well, your first year. Eddie had been in his first senior year. You had seen him in the cafeteria one day at lunch, doing one of his usual spectacles. Before that day you had only heard his name being whispered like a bad word amongst the other students.

Being new to the area, you didn't really understand what that was all about. Who was this Eddie? And why was he so famous that everyone knew him but at the same time, no one had actually talked to him?

Then you began to understand little by little. As the days passed you seemed to gather a lot of information about the guy, albeit against your will. It's just that everyone seemed to talk about him.

He honestly didn't seem that bad to you. You thought he was cute and quite endearing. He seemed to have strong opinions and a defined personality, which you admired. Maybe that was why people at school were so reticent about him. He stood out wherever he was and not for the reason people evilly whispered between them.

You were already halfway there but when you saw him interact with the younger kids one day, you were definitely gone. The crush turned more into an adoration with time.

And even though you had talked to him a few times, you had never tried to shoot your shot. Not until now, at least. You were tired of always dreaming about him and what it'd be like to be with him. For the first time in your life, you were adamant about turning your dreams into reality. You only needed to get the guy.

And in the middle of the night when I'm in this dream It's like a million little stars spelling out your name In the middle of the night waking from this dream I want to feel you by my side, standing next to me

This time, you had really put yourself out there. You didn't think you could be more obvious than this. Not only did you write the message with your favourite lilac pen, and spray a little bit of your perfume on the piece of paper, you also left a kiss on it. A glossy pink imprint of your mouth.

It was your favourite lipgloss. You wore it every day.

You only hoped that Eddie would notice. Otherwise, you had to take an even more drastic approach. One you dreaded. You had to go and talk to him. Ugh! Only thinking about it made you nauseous.

Little did you know, you didn't need to worry. It was going to end sooner than you thought.

You were at school bright and early as usual that day. The official excuse was that you needed to sort out something for the school paper. But really, you needed to slip the piece of paper into Eddie's locker without anyone seeing you.

That morning, however, you weren't the only one at school at that hour. Usually, Eddie was one of the last to show up. Often, at the last bell or late. However, the principal had called him to tell him that if he kept showing up late he wouldn't have permission to host Hellfire. Hence why he was one of the first ones to show up that day.

Whistling some random tune, Eddie was carelessly rolling through the hallways and about to turn to his locker when he spotted you. His whistling immediately stopped and he spoke without thinking.

"Y/n?"

His voice startled you so much that you flinched and almost slipped your foot retreating from the locker.

"Oh, h-hi Eddie!" you squeaked as you turned to face him.

"What..." he trailed as he took you in.

"Oh, uhm," you stumbled over your words trying to come up with something to say.

He was still looking at you with a questioning gaze. Standing so close to his locker and visibly nervous... Still, he didn't think anything of it. He was just curious to know why you were here.

That was until a piece of paper floated on the ground in between you and him. Both of your eyes were immediately drawn to it.

"Fuck", you silently swore to yourself. The piece of paper you trying to push inside his locker must have gotten stuck and then got loose exposing you to him at last.

You swallowed nervously and stepped back, almost as if you were trying to make a run for it. But this was the moment you had been waiting for! Stop being a coward and talk to him! you chided yourself as you forced your feet to stay put.

In the meantime, Eddie was still putting the pieces together. His eyes were looking between you and the piece of paper on the ground. Then his locker.

The paper. You. His locker. Then you again.

"God," you thought, "how slow can this boy be?!"

"It's me," you blurted out after a while, unable to bear this uncomfortable situation any longer. "I'm your secret admirer," you whispered when his eyes shot up to you.

"You?" he said, voice filled with disbelief.

You winced at the tone of his voice, assuming the worst.

"Surprise," you exclaimed weekly trying to laugh it off. Emphasis on trying.

But Eddie was yet to say anything and was only staring at you dumbfounded. So, you started to blabber nervously to fill the silence.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't who you were expecting. I-"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I-"

"I didn't think you'd be this cruel."

"What?"

"I always thought you were cool but to pull a prank like this...," hell Eddie thought you were more than cool actually. "It's not funny, you know."

A prank?

"Wha- Hold on," you called after him when you saw he was about to leave. "Wait. What do you mean a prank? This is not a prank."

"Yeah, sure," he scoffed, "and you really think I'm- what was it- gorgeous and all that shit?"

"Well, yeah," you admitted shyly. "I've had a crush on you for a while, Eddie." You toyed with your feet, too embarrassed to look at him.

"Then why haven't you said anything before?" he asked still sceptical.

"It's not easy to go to the person you like and tell them, you know," you scoffed as if what he was insinuating was preposterous. Even though it actually wasn't...

"So you left these in my locker instead," he said pointing to the piece of paper that was still on the ground.

You scrolled your shoulders at that, not sure what to say. Hearing it out loud made you feel foolish.

"You know what?" you spoke suddenly, "Never mind. It was a stupid idea, anyway." You were about to turn around and leave without waiting for his reply.

"Wait, no"- he called after you making you stop. "It's not stupid. It's very romantic actually."

"You think so?" You said tentatively as you turned around to face him.

"Yeah," he gave you a boyish grin. "You liked me for a while, huh?"

"Now who's being cruel?" you quipped blushing furiously.

"Nah, it's just that- I'm kicking myself for not asking you on out a date before," he admitted, scratching his head nervously.

"You like me too?" you smiled at him, hope blooming in your chest.

"I'm not blind sweetheart. I've had a soft spot for you for a while now. I thought you knew."

Hearts beating a thousand miles per hour, you could only give him a lovesick smile. You couldn't believe it.

Finally, your dream was coming true.

"So what do you say, sweetheart," he took a step closer to you, " will you bless my Friday and let me take you for a date?"

Giggling like a fool, you could only nod at him. Which earned you the biggest smile you had ever seen on Eddie's face.

"You have no idea how long I've been dying to hear those words."

"Trust me, lovely, I think I do."

Turns out you were both two lovesick idiots.

[onlinedolly]

hiiii i love ur writing puhleaaasseeeeee write more for big sister vi i am OBSESSED :3

jealously, jealously

cw: incest honestly and some kissing??? maybe heavy petting??? dd:dne obviously! please read with caution :3

big sister!vi who doesn’t understand why you’re so jealous when caitlyn comes around, all pouty and snippy comments as vi leans down and pets your hair, “you’re still my number one gal, hm?”

whining you push her hand away from your head, stomping your feet as your lip sticks out, “but what about us?” vi thinks how you look like a child who’s toy got taken from them, all small and hands on your hips. she kisses your temple, “i think you’ll like her cupcake, just give her a shot.”

-

well, you didn’t like her. not that she had really done anything to you personally, she was kind enough, polite. but you didn’t like her. in your eyes, caitlyn put an imaginary wall between you and vi. movie nights with vi? slipping into bed with vi when you had a nightmare? would things like that even exist anymore with caitlyn in the picture? you sat across vi and caitlyn, criss crossed on the floor as you watch in disgust as they cuddled together.

you and vi had always been extremely close, losing your parents and then your father figure and sister at a young age it brought you closer to vi then you could ever imagine. she was a constant in your life, someone who had always been there for you when you needed it. nightmares? heartbreak? flashbacks? she was there to handle it. but now looking at vi and her all you could think was how that love was going to be redirected into something romantic — something not towards you.

what does that mean really? you think as you watch vi nuzzle her nose into caitlyn’s neck. ‘something not towards you’? vi was beautiful, you’d always thought that, prided yourself on your friends having crushes, telling vi you were going to marry someone just like her when you grew up. but what was this stirring you felt in your stomach? the jealously that wrapped itself around you and squeezed your heart.

“‘m going to bed.” you speak out, making vi take her face away from caitlyn’s neck as she looks as you with furrowed brows.

“alright kid, hey—“ she leans forward, going to press her hand against your head, a welcoming touch you would normally lean into, instead swatting her hand away as you raise to march down the hallway to your room that sat across hers.

once in your bedroom you let out a sigh, leaning against the closed door as you rub the side of your head. what was the jealously you felt? the fire deep in your stomach that made you so angry at a woman that’s done nothing to you. it didn’t make sense, you thought as you changed into your pajamas and climbed into your bed. did you love vi? of course. as a sister, only as a sister. you shifted in your bed as you thought of her, her muscled large body, her tattoos that covered the expanse of her back and it made you bite your lip so you didn’t whimper at the thought.

why did you feel like this all of sudden? it made you uncomfortable, it made your thighs clamp together as you thought more about vi. you try to brush the thoughts away as you toss around in bed.

-

it had to have least been a few hours when vi knocks softly on your door before peaking her head in, “you awake, kid?” she asks just above a whisper. you take a second to respond and by the time your saying yes meekly she’s already halfway closing the door.

when vi realizes your awake she opens the door quickly, waltzing in like she always does, “how are you feelin, baby?” she asks, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“okay.” you answer shortly, rising up as you wrap your arms around your legs. you still felt….weird. the pit in your stomach had turned itself from jealously into something else completely, something that felt wrong.

“talk to me, hm?” she asks, placing a hand on your knee and the touch felt hot against you, burning almost, as she held a firm grip on you.

“i—“ was it okay to be honest? about the jealousy? the other feeling? you take a deep shaky breath before speaking just above a whisper, “i don’t like caitlyn.”

“oh.” was all she said as she sat up, her hand falling from your knee and you immediately missed her touch. “why?”

“i dunno, just…don’t.” you speak out, and vi sees right through you — like she always does. she leans forward a raised brow as she waits for your response. you look up at her with big doe eyes, water filling them as you take another shaky breath, “we won’t see each other anymore.”

vi laughs at that, catching you off guard, her laugh is loud and shakes the room as she wipes imaginary tears from her eyes, “you’re jealous sweet girl, is that it?” the sight makes you pout, lip sticking out as you reach your leg out and kick her. “sorry sweet girl, sorry. it’s just—“ she leans up, brushing your hair out of your eyes, “no one can replace you, kid.”

“im not a kid, and they can, she has.” you gripe out, crossing your heads over your chest.

“how so?”

what were you to say? that the sight of her kissing caitlyn’s cheek, the sight of her cuddled so close to her made you want to rip your hair out of your head? that wasnt okay to feel, you knew that deep down inside, and it made you feel uncomfortable as you squirmed under her intense gaze.

“she just…has, vi. okay?”

vi cracks a smile then, toothy and wide, as she runs her hand down your head and neck almost causing you to mewl. “you’re a cute little thing when you’re jealous y’know?” there it was again, that feeling, the one you knew was wrong but still made you feel the need to cross your legs.

“shut up.” you mutter out as vi crawls up besides you, stretching her body out as she waits for you to do the same.

“it’s just me and you, cupcake.” she speaks out as you stretch down beside her, wrapping your arms around her muscled torso.

“vi?” you ask, disregarding her last sentence. you were going to ask something risky, something that you feared would push her into caitlyn’s arms more, “how does it feel to kiss caitlyn?”

“how do you—“ she looks at you with furrowed brows, “we haven’t— okay well we have but— how do you know about that?”

“i’m an adult and im not stupid.” you huff out and she laughs weakly.

“i dunno, soft, nice? why do you ask?”

“because i want to be kissed like that.” you breathed out.

“i’m sure you will, one day, my love.”

“by you.” you whisper, you feel vi freeze underneath you and you think you’ve scared her away. but you don’t see the way her pupils dilate, the way she takes in a shaky breath at the thought of kissing you.

vi loved you, always had, always a little too much. she was self aware about that, she had watch you grown into a beautiful girl filled out and soft. you looked nothing like her or powder you were your own woman, shorter then her and pretty. and unbeknownst to you vi felt the same feeling in her gut, the one that made her shift in her seat oh so often when you did things like bend in front of her or slide yourself onto her lap when you watched a movie. caitlyn was a distraction, a pretty distraction, and one that resembled you in no way, in hopes she could get her mind away and off of you. but it was to no avail. and now you were here, asking your big sister for a kiss and she couldn’t be more thrilled.

“i’m sorry i—“ you begin to speak and vi softly shushes you, petting your hair.

“that’s why you were jealous, hm?” she laughs softly, “my girl wanted a kiss from her big sis?” you felt ashamed, disgusted in yourself, even more so when you got excited in the way she didn’t shoot you down.

she scoots herself up in bed so she’s sitting up more, grabbing your smaller frame and throwing yourself onto her lap like she’d done a million times before.

“that’s why you didn’t like caitlyn, huh? be honest with me if you want that kiss baby.” she spoke lowly, her eyes clouded with an emotion that read as pure hunger.

“y-yeah,” you stutter out gasping at the way her hands work themselves in your hips to keep you stable. “i want a kiss.”

“then a kiss you shall get, cupcake.” and before you know it vi is leaning in and placing her lips against yours. vis lips were soft and tasted like liquor and mint, you leaned in involuntarily as she wraps her arms around your lower waist pulling you closer. you kiss her back softly, that is until vi is pressing her lips more into yours, making the kiss rough and borderline primal. you gasp into the kiss as she turns it rough, pulling you closer to her body making you feel as if you might sink into her.

this was so wrong, so so so wrong, you thought as she moves her arms up the expanse of your back, running her fingers along your spine. but why did it feel so fucking good? why did it feel right? you thought to yourself as she works her tongue into your mouth, licking inside.

when she finally pulls back you’re both out of breath and hazy, she smirks at you as you shiver.

“consider caitlyn gone baby.”

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Favorite Season 6 fics

So these used to be called "Fic recs for my BFF", but unfortunately I was unable to sway her to buddie, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ these are just for me now (and you guys too I guess 😅)

Season 6

🔥Curl Up in My Heart and Let Me Keep You by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Animal Transformation | 10K | Teen): When an orange tabby cat starts hanging around the Diaz house, Eddie doesn't think anything of it. The little guy's cute and cuddly, and seems to always know when Eddie's having a bad time. Weird how the cat's never around when Buck is, though.

🔥let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): “It’s just that—I died,” Buck continues, voice unsteady enough that Eddie wonders if this is the first time he’s acknowledged that out loud. “I died, and there’s so much more. There’s so much more I want to do, things I don’t even know I want to do yet, and I almost had the chance to have and live them taken away. I don’t want to die and regret missing out on everything else, Eddie.” “So let’s make a list,” Eddie says. “Let’s do them.” or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

🔥like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): The kid with blood pouring down his shins is not so far from the dog lonely enough that he thinks breaking his housetraining is worth it for the ten minutes of berating that come with it, the ten minutes of undivided, if reluctant, attention. Buck thinks, sometimes, that at least he wasn’t the kind of puppy that gets put in a sack and drowned at birth. He wasn’t always unwanted. And he isn’t anymore. or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

🔥Something Dumb to Do by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): "Too bad we can't just date each other." Eddie laughs. "What?" "No, I'm serious!" Buck sets his beer down, the better to gesture with both hands, face lighting up, and Eddie just—he really loves the guy, okay. Ridiculous as he is. "It would be so much easier! You wouldn't have to introduce a new person to Chris—he already likes me anyway—and you could tell Pepa so she'll stop setting you up on dates that don't go anywhere—" "And what would you get out of this?" Eddie asks, grinning. — Or: Buck and Eddie try something out together. (Part 1 of homeward bound)

🔥find a way to you (if it kills me) by foxwatson/ @eddiediazes (Post S6E13: Mixed Feelings, Pining | 19K | Mature): It’s something about the way Eddie phrases it. Something about the combination of his words and the way he’s staring down at the floor, and the flush in his cheeks and the way he’s fidgeting. Buck thinks, abruptly, he’s going to ask me on a date. “Well I - wanted to tell you first, and I need someone to watch Chris, anyways - I know he’s getting old enough now he doesn’t like feeling like he’s got a babysitter, so I was hoping - sorry. Not the point. Uh. I have a date on Saturday.” Just as abruptly as his own hopes had come soaring up above the cloud cover of his own unawareness - they go crashing back down to the floor - to the basement, and into the mud. “A date?” Buck rasps out. — the one where eddie decides to start dating again, buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief

🔥Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-S6, Getting Together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

🔥 Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

🔥 Both Blade and Branch by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6 | 62K | Mature): The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

🔥 where all of the people dancing and clapping would greet me with such warmth by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (Season 6, Magical Realism | 15K | Mature): In the fall, Buck begins to disappear. (or: Buck can see that people become transparent when they're about to die) (Part 2 of All I Am, All That I Am)

🔥 Ace of Hearts by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): "I've been wondering…" Maddie pauses, watches Buck make a face like he's bracing to be smacked. "What happened with Eddie? You two were dancing around it for so long, and then… what, it just didn't work out? Was the date really that bad?" She's expecting another wince, or even for him to duck out of the conversation entirely, but instead Buck is staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Maddie. I've never been on a date with Eddie." Or: the poker game was a date. It takes Buck a while to catch on, though.

🔥 situations, circumstances, miscommunications ( i just may like some explanations ) by heartbeatdiaz / @lonelychicago (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 4K | Teen): "You didn't know?" Eddie asks, calmer but not less confused. He frowns. "How could you not know?" "You never said anything?" Buck tilts his head to the side. "We were dating?” “I guess not,” Eddie sighs. His heart is beating a little faster, an unpleasant buzz beneath his skin as he all but chokes on a feeling he can’t quite name— it could be hurt or disappointment or maybe a mix of both. In that moment, he knows three things very clearly. 1. Buck is going to be the death of him. 2. He is in love with the most dense, most oblivious man on planet Earth. 3. He is too gay and, honestly, too old for this shit.

🔥listen to you breathing (is where I wanna be) by Yavilee/ @theladyyavilee (Presumed Dead | 41K | Teen): The thing is – and Eddie should have known this, has been taught this cruel lesson over and over and over again – the thing is most of the time the worst day of your life will start like just any other day. A million small moments, so familiar and mundane you almost don’t even notice them slipping by - until you would give anything to go back and get just one more. (You can’t.) — Or the one where Buck is presumed dead after a building collapse and Eddie has to live through the reminder that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone

🔥Eddie Diaz vs The Feelings by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (Season 6, Sexuality Crisis, Demisexual Eddie | 62K | Explicit): Eddie dives into the mysteries of attraction, romantic love, and asexuality because there's a good chance he's fallen in love with his best friend. AKA demisexual!Eddie figures out he’s demi and finds the happily ever after he’s been longing for

🔥tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 43K | Mature): "Think I can get a hug from my best man on my wedding day?" he asks, quietly hopeful in a way that makes Eddie want to tear off his skin. "Sure," Chris replies with a shrug, turning to throw Eddie a cheeky grin. "Dad, Buck needs a hug." Two things happen at once then: Eddie has to plaster on a smile authentic enough to convince the one person on this planet that knows him inside out—except he doesn't really have to fake his smile, not at first, because of number two—he sees groom-Buck for the first time. And groom-Buck is every bit as beautiful as Eddie might have imagined him over the years. For a moment, Eddie falls into the greatest betrayal his brain has ever laid out for him, imagining that he might have got to see Buck like this for the first time from the other end of the aisle— (OR: eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia)

🔥 Muscle Memory by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6, Amnesia AU | 40K | Teen): After a disappointment in his personal life, Buck wakes up one morning to find everyone he loves has forgotten him completely. No memories. No recognition. Almost like he was never really there.

🔥 but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

🔥 a blaze in the dark by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Post-S6, Eddie Coming Out | 117K | Explicit): Set post-Season 6, where Buck has inadvertently sacrificed his friendship with Eddie in order to focus on his new relationship with Natalia, and is shocked when Eddie comes out to the team and subsequently reveals that he is dating a guy.

AUs

🔥Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU, Post-S4E13: Suspicion | 27K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

🔥 Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent - Supernatural Elements, Ghost Buck | 67K | Explicit): When Eddie's son claims he has an imaginary friend, Eddie doesn't think much of it. Christopher is seven, it's what kids do. But then weird things start happening around the house, and Eddie starts dreaming about a handsome blue-eyed man. Turns out, Christopher's friend isn't so imaginary. Their house is haunted.

🔥like when the sun came out by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Canon Divergent, Ghosts | 39K | Mature): He completely pulls the charger from the wall as he fumbles to put in his passcode. He doesn’t know who to call first. Everyone is busy, carrying on with their lives and Buck is stuck here in the loft with the terrifying ghost of his childhood like an omen. Out of the corner of his eye he catches the Crooked Smiled Man now standing in the dark entrance way to his bathroom. He swallows around the taste of blood in his mouth, hands shaking, useless as his list of contacts blur beneath the burn of tears. Eddie Eddie Eddie. He doesn’t know where the feeling comes from, but it’s sudden and sharp and excruciating. Eddie is the first name at the top of his list, his most recent calls and texts, and he doesn’t hesitate to hit the call button. [or buck can see ghosts au]

🔥All My Shattered Oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampires AU | 107K | Explicit): Eddie wants to stay away from his family’s legacy and give his son a normal life. Buck’s desperate to find a way to get over the love he lost. Fate has other plans for both of them.

🔥 Further Than Blood (Or Than Bones) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampires AU | 50K | Explicit): Once, Eddie chose to save a newly turned against his better judgment. Five hundred years ago, Buck was saved by a rescuer he thought was a hallucination. Now they're together again and about to find out just how far either of them will go to try and deny what they are to each other.

🔥 let it pour out of your soul series by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Magical Realism AU, Witch Eddie | 3 works | 71K | Complete):

collectively unconsciously composed (S4E6: Jinx | 46K | Explicit): Or: in which the author re-watched Buck Begins and Jinx and thought: what if this was gayer and had actual magic?

that systematic drug (PWP | 5K | Explicit): Eddie’s mouth goes dry when he opens the door and sees Buck. He’s clean-shaven and with his hair carefully styled back, smiling at Eddie sweetly and a little teasingly. Buck is wearing his dark jeans and his light blue v-neck polo shirt, the one that’s tight enough that it shows off the bulge of his biceps and the definition of his pecs and abs. Eddie knows this shirt. Buck's favourite, because he knows he looks good in it.

something binding us together (Established Buddie | 20K | Teen): Or: Eddie plans a long-avoided visit to his parents, discovers some things about his magic, and begins to build his family a home in LA's witching community.

[hellodarling1357]

#26 for the Cassian thing where reader is an IC member too and maybe them and Cassian have been seeing each other in secret for a while but Cass doesn't wanna tell anyone yet because he doesn't wanna mess up the dynamic or make things awkward for the rest of them but then all the stuff happens and Nesta comes along and reader's just sad and pissed because they're worried Cass is in love with Nesta now and secret plot twist oh no reader knows them and Cass are mates but it hasn't snapped for him yet so reader is losing it inside but obviously they can't tell any of their closest friends because Cassian still wants it to be a secret

even if you don't want to write this I hope you're having a great day/night ✩

Forever Tied - Cassian x Reader

Hello hello 🥰

The original prompt list I reblogged has disappeared for some reason so now I have no idea what #26 actually was but I did my best with the request you sent me so hopefully this still works, sorry Anon! I've made it extra long to make up for it!

Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 9.3k

Rhys was trapped Under the Mountain and there was nothing you could do to help. You had crumbled upon hearing his voice in your mind that last time, having no idea what this meant for your friend, your court, or even for Prythian. You hadn’t even realised you had fallen to your knees until a familiar, warm body had knelt next to you and pulled you into their shaking arms.

Cassian had been in the city centre of Velaris when he had heard, all plans for the day disappearing as the realisation of what had happened hit him full blast. Without thinking, he flew back to the House of Wind, unable and unwilling to process this alone. Although, subconsciously, there was really only one person he wanted to be with in that moment. Azriel would have distanced himself upon hearing the news, Amren was at her apartment, and Mor was at the town house, leaving only you in the House of Wind.

He stumbled in his rush as he landed on the balcony and raced inside. His heart broke even further at the sounds of muffled sobs that echoed towards him. In a blind haze he followed the sounds and found you on the ground, as though your legs had completely given out, unable to bare the weight of what had occurred. Without thinking, Cassian was beside you, pulling you into his arms as he rubbed soothing circles across your back, despite the way his own hands shook as tears threatened to burn at his eyes.

Your breathing eventually evened out, the only trace of your tears were the tracks along your cheeks and the redness of your eyes. Turning in his arms, you looked up at Cassian as though only just properly noticing that he was the comforting, warm presence that brought you back from your distressed state.

“We have to do something,” Your voice was a croaked whisper, “I know he said he put up a shield, but there has to be something we can do to help.”

The shaky inhale of Cassian’s breath told you enough. He didn’t think there was anything that could be done. Truthfully, you didn’t either.

You looked at your friend in awe as a singular tear streaked down his face, followed by another, and another. In all the centuries you had been friends, the sight of the male in front of you crying was one you had very rarely witnessed.

“Cass,” You lifted a hand to his face, gently brushing away his tears. Cassian was always the one who held everyone and everything together, and if this was the one time he openly showed he needed someone else to keep from falling apart, you would more than willingly be that person for him. “It’s going to be okay, alright? We’ll figure something out. And Rhys… well, it’s Rhys. He’s going to be just fine.”

The watery smile you gave him didn’t quite meet your eyes, the expression quickly replaced with alarm as Cassian’s breathing quickened, eyes screwed shut as though trying to compose himself. This you had never seen. Cassian completely losing control, his body shaking against yours as sobs escaped his throat.

“He’s gone,” The strangled sound that came from him had your heart splitting in two. “Amarantha, she will…she’s already…” He couldn’t seem to find the words, or couldn’t bear the thought of saying what was running through his head with Amarantha being involved.

“We’ll get him back.” You soothed, hands reaching up as you guided his head into the crook of your neck, fingers running through his dark wave of hair.

But he wasn’t calming, if anything, Cassian found himself spiralling further and further out of control, the emotions and the ‘what ifs’ sending him into a state of panic where even your comforting presence could do nothing to sooth his hyperventilating breaths, the tears, and the shaking that racked through him.

“Cass?” You pulled back, trying to force him to look at you. “Cassian? Hey, I need you to open your eyes, just focus on me, okay? There you go. Now just take in one deep breathe, alright? Just one, that’s all I need you to do. Okay, and again. You’re alright. We’re alright.”

Cassian’s hazel eyes stared into yours as you talked him through his breathing, your hands soothingly moving up and down his arms as you knelt in front of him and offered a comforting smile as you watched his panic slowly ebb away.

“Y/N, I­—" Cassian started, eyes wide as he gulped and continued staring at you. Before you could blink or react in anyway, he was surging forward; one hand coming up to rest at the back of your neck, the other was gently placed on your thigh, and then his lips were hurriedly pressed against yours. You stilled and tensed in his grasp, it was all too much after everything else that had happened, but still… Maybe a distraction is what you both needed. So instead of pulling away, you leant into him, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him even closer, and kissing him back with such an urgency that a moan sounded in the back of his throat.

“Y/N,” he muttered against your lips, forehead resting against your own, his breath brushing across your face as it came out in heavy pants.

You just shushed him, also refusing to move too far away. “I know, it’s fine. Just a distraction.”

He looked at you for one more blink and then hungrily pressed against you, this time lowering you to the floor, his muscled body hovering over yours as you lost yourselves in the moment, desperate to forget what had happened and all that was yet to transpire.

*****

Afterwards, you lay on the floor next to one another in the, now dark, room. The combination of your heavy breathes were the only sounds that broke through the silence.

Cassian let out a sigh followed by a chuckle, “Well that was one hell of a distraction.”

You turned your head to look at him and let out a quiet, breathless laugh. Yes, it had been a momentary distraction but now what had happened to Rhys, to Prythian, hung heavy in the room. Cassian turned on his side, leaning up on one arm as he faced you, taking in your still flushed, blissed out expression that now had something akin to pain creeping across it.

“Hey,” He gently grabbed your hand and soothed his thumb across the back of it. “Like you said, we’re alright. And we will get him back.”

You nodded at him then pulled yourself up, tugging your shirt back on before throwing Cassian his discarded clothes.

“Come on, we should find the others. Try to figure something out.”

*****

And that was that.

There was no mention of what had happened between the two of you. No comment on the fact that it had been, without a doubt, and despite the current situation you found yourselves in, the best sex either of you had ever had.

No, even when it happened again three weeks later, and then one week after that, and four days after that, again, and again, and again, it remained an unspoken agreement between the two of you. That momentary distraction where you could lose yourselves in the pleasure of one another and forget about the mess you were left to deal with.

That was how it worked for the next few years. You and Cassian falling into a routine of comfort that you were unable, unwilling, to get from anyone else. You had no idea if the rest of the Inner Circle were aware of what was going on; in terms of your friendship, nothing had changed, there were just additional benefits that came with it now. It didn’t mean anything more.

That is, of course, until your routine had morphed into something that felt like it was on the precipice of something else.

The sex was just as mind-blowingly passionate, however, there were now some instances where it was a bit slower and less frantic, more whispered words and lingering touches. Where the two of you used to chat afterwards, an arm’s worth of distance between you as you slipped back into your normal friendship until the other one left to return to their own room, you now found yourselves wrapped up in each other’s arms, hands softly caressing skin until you both drifted into a restful sleep.

Which is where you now found yourself; wrapped up in Cassian’s arms as he softly snored against you, hand tightly holding onto yours and legs tangled together. You eased out of his grasp, careful not to disturb him and lent against the headboard with a sigh. Usually, you would wake the next morning, offer a small smile, then get on with your day, Rhys’ absence still a clear focus for you all. However, lately you had found yourself letting your mind drift more and more, especially in moments like these where Cassian was still beside you and the bubble you lost yourselves in was yet to be broken.

Each and every time you hated yourself for it, guilt taking over until you forcefully pushed the thoughts away, but you couldn’t help but think that, at some point, you all needed to continue your lives and break away from the standstill existence you had been in since Amarantha took over.

You would never say it out loud, but as the years went on, you had lost all hope of ever getting Rhys back. And if that were the case, and as much as you wished it weren’t, at some point you had to start living for yourselves again. Deep down, in the dark and quiet moments when you awoke and the house was fast asleep, you knew exactly what you wanted that life to look like.

You let out another sigh and looked at Cassian, softly brushing some stray hair away from his face and taking the time to really study his sleep-softened features. You hadn’t meant for it to get this far, but after centuries of friendship, and now the years of intimacy you had shared, the love you felt for Cassian had grown and taken form into a whole different avenue of affection. You were in love with him. You loved him and your heart ached at the thought of it because if you allowed yourself this one bit of happiness into your life, the solidarity and support that Cassian provided, then you couldn’t help but think of it as forgetting about Rhys and the torture he had been enduring whilst you were slowly and deeply falling head over heels with one of your best friends.

The worst part of it was that you were certain Cassian felt the same way about you. The way he held you and touched you, the words he whispered into your ear as you were both tangled, panting messes and then the dazed murmurings that were uttered into the silence afterwards, the longing glances he would give you when the others weren’t looking…

What had started as a desperate distraction and pure, physical need had grown into something so much more meaningful and intimate. And yet you both refused to acknowledge that it was anything other than sex as a means to cope with the instability in your lives.

“Hey,” You hadn’t realised Cassian had stirred, his gruff, sleep-filled voice tearing you away from your thoughts.

“Y/N?” Your expression pulled in confusion at the sudden worry in his voice as he sat up and grasped your hand. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

It wasn’t until his fingers were reaching up to brush away the tears on your cheeks that you realised you had been silently crying.

“I… I don’t know.” You said with a slight sniffle.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Cassian pulled you into his lap, your head resting on his chest as he pressed kisses to the top of your head and rubbed soothing patterns across your back. The unfairness of the situation had you stifling a small sob, Cassian’s embrace reminding you of exactly what you were missing.

“Want to talk about it?” He murmured into your hair, followed by another kiss.

Whether it was the build-up of emotions or your complete and utter exhaustion, you didn’t know and didn’t care. You sat up in Cassian’s arms, desperately looking for any form of confirmation that what you were about to say wouldn’t ruin everything, then took a deep breath.

“This…whatever this is between us, I can’t keep doing it. Not how it is now,” You were too caught up to notice the heartbroken expression that flashed across his face.

Cassian had willingly fallen into this arrangement and would happily continue to do so if it meant he could pretend, even for just a few hours a day, that you were his, and he was yours. There had always been a part of him that had been completely and utterly in love with you. And then when he found out Rhys had been trapped by Amarantha, his emotions had been a surging mess, so he acted on instinct and a selfish need for the upmost form of comfort and risked it all by kissing you. Now the thought that this one bit of joy he allowed himself was being ripped away, another thing he would be losing, sent his heart racing as he waited for the final blow of your words.

“It hurts too much.” You continued, looking down at your intertwined hands before pulling away.

Cassian looked up at you in confusion, “What hurts too much?”

“This. Us,” A shaky laugh escaped you as you gestured to the empty space between you, throwing all caution to the wind as you said, “I can’t keep pretending that this isn’t anything more than a distraction. Not when I have fallen so deeply in love with you that the thought of never…”

You were cut off by Cassian all but picking you up and kissing you with such passion that you couldn’t stop your toes from curling or the small whimper that escaped your throat.

“You love me?” His voice was breathless and gravelly, barely above a whisper. You opened your eyes, his forehead rested against yours, eyes squeezed shut as though trying to hold onto the moment.

“Yes.”

A joyful laugh sounded from him and reverberated through you as his lips found yours again, tongue trailing along your bottom lip before you parted them for him.

Your mind was racing yet you couldn’t form a coherent thought, pulling away in a desperate attempt to catch your breath.

“Good.”

“Cass?”

“Good. Because I have loved you since we first met and I can’t lose you, not now.”

You grinned at him before pulling his face down to meet yours and slamming your lips to his. You had thought that maybe, just maybe, he had been starting to feel something that was more than friendship too. But the idea of him loving you for that long made your heart skip a beat and had butterflies fluttering up a storm in your stomach.

“I feel horrible,” You admitted, quick to clarify at the affronted look Cassian gave you. “It just feels wrong, like we’re betraying Rhys. We don’t…we don’t even know if he is alive, Cass. I want this, with you, more than anything. But it doesn’t feel right while everything is so…” You trailed off, unable to meet his gaze as Cassian watched you with a look of contemplation.

“So we don’t say anything. We can keep it between us, at least for now. We’ve gotten this far without the others asking questions. I love you, so much, and as much as I want everyone to know, I get what you mean. So we don’t say anything until we get him back. And we will get him back, I know we will. Alright?" You nodded; eyes wide as you grasped his calloused hands in yours.

“Besides, I basically sleep here every night anyway. Nothing will really change between us, just that I can now tell you and show you that I love you, instead of having to force the words down every time you so much as look at me.” A blush spread across your cheeks at his words and the wink that followed, but you didn’t care to hide it, instead simply giving him a dazzling smile that sent his heart racing.

He pulled you in for another kiss, murmuring “I love you” as he guided you back down onto the mattress.

“I love you too—" But a loud yawn escaped your mouth, cutting off the rest of your words and sending you into a small fit of giggles.

“Alright, we’ll continue this tomorrow,” Cassian now laughed with you. “Come on, it’s late. Get some sleep.”

You wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your face into his chest, the comforting and familiar scent had you drifting off in a matter of minutes.

*****

Cassian had been right, not a lot in your dynamic had changed over the years after that night, other than the giddying comfort of knowing that he was yours, and you were his. You weren’t foolish enough to think that the others hadn’t picked up on the slight shift, especially when Cassian had waltzed out of your room one morning only to come face to face with Azriel. You just assumed that they thought you were sleeping together, nothing more.

Then when Rhys returned, you had been, obviously, overjoyed. Not wanting to bombard him with too much on his first night back, you and Cassian had decided later that night once you were back in your room, to hold off on saying anything about your relationship until Rhys had settled back in.

Then everything else had happened.

The arrival of Feyre and her sisters. Hybern and the cauldron. The war and near fatal injuries spread throughout your tight-knit group. It was all too much.

You and Cassian had been discussing back and forth for months: do you tell them or keep hiding it. Ultimately, keeping your relationship secret is what you always landed on. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you were just finding excuses at this point to keep yourselves in your happy little bubble when so much threated to burst it.

Initially, you hadn’t wanted to rub your relationship in Rhys’ face when he was so clearly pining after Feyre who wanted nothing to do with him. Then their mating bond clicked, and you didn’t want to take away or overshadow their happiness with your own. The threat from Hybern felt like you would be playing with fire; if the King of Hybern found out… it was too great a risk when your enemies could use it against you.

Between it all, you still found time to be together; not once did the love you felt for one another falter. But with each excuse, and with each passing month, the decision wore on you more and more.

And then Rhys asked Cassian to take on Nesta.

You felt for her, you really did, but the time and energy Cassian put into helping her had a pit forming in your stomach. At the end of each day, when you were tucked tightly into his chest and his sweet nothings were whispered across your bare skin, you felt silly for ever thinking that he was losing interest in you. Yet, that feeling lingered just that little bit longer with each passing day and with each moment spent away from him when he was, instead, occupied with her.

*****

You had been away in the Summer Court the night that Nesta had hallucinated about being back in the cauldron. After you finished reporting to Rhys upon your return the following night, he had told you what had happened with her silver flames and how Cassian had managed to bring her out of it. With worry for all of them, you got back to the House of Wind as soon as you could but couldn’t find Cassian, Azriel, or Nesta anywhere. It wasn’t until later when you were getting ready for bed that there was a knock on your bedroom door. What you didn’t expect was to find Cassian on the other side of it, you weren’t sure why he suddenly decided to start knocking on the door to the room you had shared for the past 50 years.

With a quizzical look you pulled him inside the room and lent up on your toes to press a soft kiss to his lips that had him instantly wrapping his arms around your frame to pull you in tighter against him.

“I missed you,” he murmured against your skin, trailing lingering kisses down your neck that had a soft moan escaping you.

“I missed you. Rhys told me what happened here, are you alright? Is Nesta?”

Cassian pulled back, pressing another kiss to your lips then the tip of your nose before grabbing your hands and leading you to the couch by the fireplace.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” You remained silent, your doubt erupting in you as you waited for him to continue with bated breath. “We moved her to a closer room, next door to our, your, room, so that if something like that happens again one of us will know straight away.”

Cassian pulled back slightly, studying your features as though waiting for a reaction. You expression remained impassive; you could feel the other shoe about to drop and wanted him to tell you without beating around the bush.

“But,” He sighed, lifting your hand up and pressing a kiss to it, “I think, just for now, at least until things calm down a bit, I should go back to sleeping in my old room.”

“No.”

“Y/N – “

“No, Cassian,” You were shaking your head at him, not caring if you sounded needy or whiny or any of it. “This is the only time we can just be us. It’s already hard enough with keeping it a secret from everyone, I can’t lose this.”

“We decided, together, to keep this between us, there’s too much going on. And I don’t think Nesta will appreciate hearing us through the walls…” You cut him off with a scoff.

“Are you fucking serious, Cass? Are you worried about everyone finding out, or are you worried about Nesta finding out?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I never get to see you because you’re always with her. And now, because of her again, everything that our relationship is needs to go on hold? It’s not fair that after 50 years all I get is a few hours at the end of the day and to be kept your secret from everyone we care about.” You spat the word, all your emotions and fears finally bubbling over, however irrational they may be, but you had had enough.

“Sweetheart, we agreed that it’s for the best that we keep this between ourselves – “

“Well, I don’t agree anymore, Cass. I don’t want it like this. And don’t condescend me.” Your voice had a sharp snap to it. You needed something. Needed something other than the heartbreak that you could feel fast approaching; and a fight sounded like the next best thing.

“I’m not being condescending,” You could sense Cassian’s temper rising. “You can’t suddenly be angry because you’ve changed your mind without saying anything to me. And Nesta has nothing to do with this, it’s for...”

But the rest of his words became a blur at the sudden, incessant tug that pulled at your chest; that pulled you towards the male in front of you.

He was your mate.

Cassian was your mate.

You couldn’t do this, not now when you were in the middle of a fight. Not when Cassian didn’t even seem to be aware �� or seem to care, a small voice taunted – of what had just happened. You needed to get away from him, to calm down and think before it could get even more out of hand.

“Cassian, just… Whatever, it’s fine. I’m tired, so just go back to your room, okay? We’ll figure the rest out later. I’m just…tired.” You finished lamely, voice cracking slightly as you watched him look you over, his frustration still evident, before walking out and loudly shutting the door behind him.

You slumped down, holding your knees to your chest as the sobs began. You had thought, had hoped, that Cassian was your mate. But this wasn’t how it was meant to go. Not mid-fight, with him having no idea of the bond’s existence while telling you he no longer wants to share your bed.

Having been so caught up in your thoughts and the overflooding emotions, you missed the flickering of shadows that darted around you. Moments later there was another knock on your door. Wiping your eyes, you called out in a chocked voice, “come in,” assuming it was Cassian.

Instead, Azriel quickly opened the door, closing it just as fast, before taking in the sight before him and making his way over to you.

“Y/N?” You could only sniffle in response, gratefully leaning against his side when his arm wrapped around you. “You alright?”

You remained silent for a few minutes, focusing on Azriel’s comforting hand brushing up and down your arm as you worked to control your breathing and halt your tears.

“I’m fine.” Your voice was hoarse and not at all convincing.

“Want to try that again?” You sent your elbow into his ribs, making the Shadowsinger chuckle before pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head.

With a sigh he asked, “This has nothing to do with the fact that Cassian is suddenly sleeping in his room for the first time in, what? 50 years?”

You gaped up at your friend in shock and at a loss for words.

“You knew?

“Of course I knew. I live here too, remember? As subtle as you might think you’re being, I’ve got these,” His shadows danced around, reminding you that it was stupid to even entertain the idea that Azriel wouldn’t know.

“Oh,” A fresh set of tears filled your eyes and you stared intently into the flickering fire.

“Can you please take me to the town house? I don’t… I can’t be here.” Despite the late hour, you knew he would do anything for you in a heartbeat. While you and Cassian had been friends for decades before anything more had happened, you and Az had been close from the start, instant friends as soon as you had met.

“Of course.”

He waited for you by your bedroom door as you pulled together a small bag of your belongings, not knowing when you would be back.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

You didn’t turn to give the room that held so many memories a final glance as you shut the door behind you and followed Azriel out onto the balcony.

*****

Thankfully, the town house was dark and empty when you arrived, giving you the space and silence to process your thoughts and feelings. You had thanked Azriel for flying you over and had said a quick goodnight before you walked inside and headed upstairs.

Sitting on your bed, you vacantly stared at the wall, lost in thought as the minutes ticked by. You jumped at the sudden dip of the mattress beside you, only to find Azriel sitting there fixing you with a look of concern, a steaming cup of tea extended towards you.

“Thanks,” You murmured, taking a sip and revelling in the slight burn as the liquid went down your throat. “I thought you went home.”

“Not yet. Didn’t want to leave you alone like this.” There was a beat of silence before, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,”

You let out a weary sigh, content on sitting in silence but your thoughts quickly became too much, and you found yourself blurting out, “He’s my mate.”

Azriel whipped around to face you, shock coating his features.

“What? They didn’t tell you?” You gestured to the shadows that skittered around him with a sad smile.

“For how long? I thought you were just sleeping together.” He trailed off, giving you an uncharacteristically sheepish expression as you let out a somewhat bitter laugh.

“It started that way, when Rhys…left,” You whispered, revelling in finally telling someone even though it may well be over. “It was a distraction from the shit show that was going on, but then it just kept happening.” Azriel remained silent, letting you talk.

“A few years in, I realised I had fallen in love with him,” you voice cracked but you kept going, “Then he told me he loved me too. Said he had for a while.”

Azriel chuckled lightly, “That’s an understatement. He was infatuated with you from the moment you met. I knew something was going on or something had at least happened when he suddenly stopped talking to me about you whenever you weren’t there.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks at his words, but with a look and a comforting squeeze of his hand, you let out a shuddering breath and continued, “That was five years into Rhys being gone, and we’ve been together ever since.”

“Five years into… But Y/N, how? That means for over 45 years, the two of you have been…” You sniffed as he put the math together and watched as his eyes widened at the realisation. “How come you never told us?”

“We felt guilty that we found some type of happiness together when Rhys was trapped – “

“He wouldn’t have cared. He would have been happy for you; for both of you” Azriel interjected.

“I know,” You smiled sadly, “But it just didn’t feel right. And then he got back, and everything with Feyre and Hybern happened – it was never the right time.”

You could tell he was still confused, hurt even, about the two of you keeping your relationship private for so long, but he didn’t push you.

“I don’t know how I missed it.” He said, seemingly to himself.

“You only half missed it,” You joked, nudging his arm to try to ease the tension in the room. “We tried to act the same, things were just different when we were alone.”

“When did you realise you were mates?” You inhaled sharply, your earlier fight rushing back to you.

“Tonight. We were arguing and I just felt this tug and knew. He doesn’t know – at least I don’t think he knows.” You voiced your doubts, the weight of them getting the better of you.

“If he knew, he would refuse to leave your side. It just hasn’t snapped into place for him yet.” You gave your friend an appreciative smile and lent your head on his shoulder.

“I’m so tired.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll come back in the morning to check on you. You’re alright here?”

“Thanks Az.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before leaving the room; leaving you alone to finally mull over the fight, your emotions, and the fact that Cassian was your mate.

*****

“What’s up with you?” Mor plopped into the seat beside you, handing you a glass of wine that you gratefully took.

“Nothing,” You quickly murmured as the others traipsed into the dining room. You were aware of Cassian edging towards you and held in a sigh of relief when Azriel suddenly appeared in the seat on your other side.

It had been a week since you left the House of Wind to stay at the town house. A week since your fight with Cassian when you realised exactly what he was to you. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eye. Despite his best efforts to get you alone over the past few days, you conveniently managed to slip away every time. Tonight’s family dinner was the closest you had been to him all week, the realisation only making your longing for him even more dire – especially now that you were aware of that insistent tug that pulled you towards him.

Dinner was no different to how it usually went, except for the fact that you hardly said a word, opting to keep your eyes focused on the food in front of you. You were so caught up in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice that Cassian also didn’t utter a single word throughout the meal, the only difference between you both was that his eyes were fixed on you, not his plate.

You jumped up as soon as everyone had finished eating, wanting to help clear the plates so you could get out and go home as soon as possible, not wanting to prolong the night for any longer than it needed to be. Too bad for you, Cassian was acutely attuned to your movements and jumped out of his seat seconds after to help in a desperate attempt to have at least one moment to talk to you.

Filling the sink with hot, soapy water, you sensed, rather than saw, Cassian follow you into the kitchen, body tensing up as he silently walked to your side. You worked in silence, scrapping dishes, washing plates, drying, and putting away. Cassian’s eyes were fixed on you, brows furrowing further with every passing moment you continued to ignore him.

“Y/N,” His voice was quiet, unsure. So different to his usual tone that it had you involuntarily turning to face him. Your heart stammered in your chest, the longing and hurt and confusion that had been tearing you apart in your time away from him threatened to burst as you finally met his hazel stare. “Are you… Are we okay? You just left and I had to find out from Az that you’re staying at the town house and now you can barely even look at me.”

His words came out hurried, frantic, as though if he spoke any slower you would disappear. Guilt flooded you at the hurt you found in his eyes, but your anger was still very much present, the lingering fear of him choosing Nesta over you held too strong for you to succumb to those feelings of guilt.

“I just need some time.” Voice barely above a whisper, you inwardly cursed as your vision blurred over with tears.

“Time for what? Y/N I don’t know what’s going on–”

“You both okay?”

Neither you nor Cassian heard Azriel approach, both turning to gape at your friend who hesitantly stood in the doorway.

“Fine. Just fine.” You pushed past him on your way out, not giving Cassian a second glance as you entered the spacious loungeroom to say goodnight to everyone. A few moments later the pair walked in after you, you missed the loaded glances they shared, not privy to the hurried conversation they had after you left the kitchen where Cassian had all but begged Azriel to intervene, to allow him the chance to finally talk to you.

“Hey, Y/N?” You turned to look expectantly at Azriel. “Did you still need me to fly you up to the House of Wind for that book?”

“Oh. Yeah, if that’s alright?” In your rush to get away the night you left you had forgotten to pack the next book you had been planning to read.

“Does tonight work? If you’re just about to head off…”

“Sure, I was just going to go…home.” Your voice trailed at the end, willing the blush away as you kept your head held high. You felt as though you didn’t know what home was anymore.

“Great, Cassian was just about to leave as well. He’ll take you up there.” With a clap to Cassian’s shoulder, Azriel sauntered over to where Rhys and Amren were talking, brushing off their questioning glances as he pointedly ignored you, allowing no room for dispute.

“Oh…”

“Is that alright?” You tensed at Cassian’s voice, glancing over your shoulder to find his wary eyes on you. It wasn’t like you could say no, it was not alright, without making a scene. You would be having words with Azriel the next time you saw him; judging by the slight smirk he was wearing, he seemed to assume just as much.

“Erm, yes. If that’s okay?” Cassian simply nodded before gesturing to the front door and, after another quick goodbye to everyone, you found yourselves outside. Another fumbled moment, then you were held tightly in Cassian’s arms with the rush of the crisp night air and an uncomfortable silence engulfing you both as he flew you towards the House of Wind.

You couldn’t stand the awkwardness. It had never been like this between the two of you and you hated that this is what it had come to. The relationship you shared, whether that be friendship or more, it had always come so naturally. Now you were faced with a stilted, tense atmosphere, not quite knowing what to say or where you stood. Then there had been the fight. Sure, you had argued before, after decades of knowing each other, you were bound to come into some disagreements along the way. But you had never had a fight like this, where you had both been so riled up, fuming at the other to the point where you had both stormed away and then not spoken for days. You hated it.

So caught up in your thoughts, you missed the slight detour Cassian was taking you on, only noticing once you were placed back on your feet and found yourself in the middle of the training ring, rather than the usual balcony that led into the house itself.

“What…”

“We’re hashing this out. Right now.”

“You want to…fight?”

“What?” Cassian did a double take, as if just connecting the location with why you would think that. “No, I don’t want to fight. That’s the problem, we are fighting. This just seemed like the most private place to work things out.”

You eyed him hesitantly, not knowing what you wanted your next step to be, especially when the urge to wrap your arms around him and inhale the scent that was so him, the scent that had become home, was so strong.

“So, words or swords?” Your eyes snapped to Cassian as he fiddled with the one of the discarded swords you usually sparred with.

Words

You wanted words. To talk this all out and be done with it, whichever way that turned out to be. But then an image flashed across your mind; an image of Cassian standing up here with Nesta, hands guiding her into the correct form, fingers shifting along her own to straighten her hold on the blade…

Without a single word, you walked to where Cassian was and hauled your own blade up.

“Okay then.” There was a slight smirk on Cassian’s face as he followed behind you into the centre of the training ring. The quirk of his eyebrow was all you needed before you were moving towards him, swords meeting with a clash that pierced the night.

You didn’t think about the moves you were making, giving way to centuries of refined and well-practiced instinct. Cassian was stronger, you knew he would hold out for longer, but you were well matched for now. Both of your foreheads started to sheen in sweat, pants of exertion echoed alongside the clank and clash of swords, and as you moved around and against one another, you finally let out all of your pent-up emotions until you had nothing left.

“I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.” You gasped before dropping the sword and falling to your knees, tears streamed down your face at the sudden emotional outlet. Cassian was by your side in an instant, his sword dropped to the ground in a ricochetting crash.

“Y/N,” His voice was alert, on-edge, eyes dancing over you as he tried to work out what was wrong. “Are you hurt?” The frantic tone now had sobs racking from your chest, shaking your head you surged forward, wrapping your arms around his neck as you cried and cried and cried. Without a second thought, Cassian had his arms around you, pulling you into his lap as he softly caressed your back and whispered soothing words into your ear.

He stayed silent, giving you the time and space to calm down and filter through your thoughts. Not once rushing you or demanding answers after a week of uncertainty.

“I’m sorry, Cass. I’m so fucking sorry, for everything. I just…” At least you managed to get a few words out before you were overcome with tears once again. You weren’t sure what they were for at this point with so many thoughts and scenarios racing through your head: the fight, Cassian being your mate, Cassian getting close with Nesta, Cassian leaving you, Cassian leaving you for Nesta, and then you being forced to watch them be together, knowing you couldn’t stand the thought of him not being in your life, in whatever capacity you were granted.

“Shhh,” He soothed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he softly rocked you back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

With a deep breath, you nodded against his chest in an attempt to compose yourself. Noting in the position you were in, you could have laughed if you weren’t feeling so empty and deflated; this is how you had both gotten into this in the first place, all those years ago when you thought you would never see Rhys again – both of you with your arms around each other, crying and saying everything was going to be okay. Only this time, you weren’t so sure if the strength of your relationship would hold.

“Please, talk to me, Y/N. What’s going through that head of yours.”

You couldn’t take not knowing what was going to happen any longer. So with a final sniffle, you leant back, sitting on the ground beside him and pulling your knees up to your chest as you held your arms tightly around yourself.

“I don’t know where to start…”

“What about when you decided you wanted the others to know?” There was no malice in his voice, only gentle concern that prodded you to continue.

“I’ve always wanted the others to know,” You ignored Cassian’s slight indignation, “But it was never the right time, what with everything that was happening then, and everything that’s happened since. It felt like the right decision at the time, it felt safe. It was nice knowing that this was just for us when so much was going wrong. But I want to be with you outside of our room. I want to be able to hold your hand and walk through Velaris, kiss you in front of our friends, not pretend that you don’t mean the world to me, because you do Cassian.”

He remained quiet, letting you talk and giving you the space to get everything off your chest but the lingering presence of his hand drawing soothing circles across your back had you feeling grounded. “I love you and the thought of losing you has been tearing me apart.” You winced at the tremor in your voice, gaze fixed on the ground in front of you.

You didn’t dare mention the fact that you were mates. Not yet. He deserved the chance to properly say what needed to be said, without the cauldron’s interference tying him down if he did, in fact, want to leave.

“Why do you think you’re losing me?” Cassian’s voice was quiet and contemplative, as though processing everything you had said but not quite connecting the dots. The kiss to the side of your head had you inhaling a shaky breath and you forced yourself to will away the tears that threatened to spill.

“We’ve been so distant lately; we never get to see each other. And, look, I know it’s for Rhys, but I’m away all the time, and you’re always with Nesta. Then the other night when you said you didn’t want to share our room anymore, and that you were afraid she would find out… I don’t know, I guess it all just became too much.” You could feel his eyes on you but the blush burning your cheeks had you refusing to meet his gaze.

A moment later, Cassian softly said, “I never said I didn’t want to share a room with you, believe me, I want to spend every moment I can with you–” You made a noise of protest, but Cassian gently shushed you before continuing. “But Rhys and Feyre need Nesta to be okay and he’s given that job to me. I should’ve spoken to you about it first or explained it better when I said I was going to sleep in my old room. But you saw what Nesta was like before we got her up here, I didn’t think her seeing, or hearing, us together would be all that helpful – especially when she was using sex as a way to cope with everything.”

“Oh…” You felt stupid. Stupid and selfish and completely undeserving of the amazing, considerate male beside you.

“And,” Cassan continued with a playful nudge of his shoulder, “You have no idea how much I want everyone to know about us. No idea how hard it has been to not tell everyone that this amazing, brilliant, strong, kind female is mine. And just how hard it has been seeing other males so much as look at you without being able to say anything to them.”

You still couldn’t tear your eyes from the ground in front of you, but Cassian noticed the soft smile tugging at your lips.

“Cauldron, if you want, I can fly us back to the River House right now. We can tell everyone exactly what’s been going on, you can kiss me in front of all of our friends then we can go into Velaris, I’ll even let you hold my hand as we walk around.” Another playful nudge had you softly chuckling, eyes finally darting over to look at Cassian. Your heart faltered at the expression on his face, the complete love and adoration that laced his features as he watched you, his own mouth pulling into a smile at the laugh he managed to pull from you.

“Yeah?” Your voice was still slightly hoarse from your previous tears, but it was a touch lighter. You felt lighter.

“Yeah.” Cassian stretched his legs out in front of him, wrapping one arm around your waist as he pulled you closer to him, leaning back on the other.

Still, some doubt lingered. It couldn’t be this easy. Things were never this easy.

“So, you’re not going to leave me?” You couldn’t remember the last time you felt shy in front of him, and you hated yourself for asking, hated that he might think you weak, needy, pathetic – the words raced around, threatening to send you into a panic.

“Never,” That one word had you relaxing immediately. “You would have to force me to leave you, and even then… I’m not going aware, Sweetheart.”

You could have melted at his words. You swore you did as you leant against him, letting out a small sigh of relief, a breath you had been holding for days, weeks, months.

“Y/N?” His voice sent a shiver down your spine, the words whispered into your ear as his breath fanned across your skin. “Can I please kiss you now?”

You tilted your head up to face him, a small smile gracing your features as he slanted his lips over your own and you immediately felt as though you had returned home.

Pulling away all too quickly, your lips desperately chased his, only to receive a playful peck in response before Cassian was helping you to your feet.

“Come on,”

“Cass?” You laugh was laced with confusion, yet you followed him anyway, watching as he picked up the discarded sparring swords and placing them back alongside the others.

“What? We’ve got some news to share,” He stole another quick kiss as he laced your hands together.

“Now?”

“Yes now,” He mocked with a playful grin, “I don’t want to waste another moment, especially when it has you feeling as though–”

The abrupt stop to Cassian’s words had the smile slipping from your face as you took in his wide eyes and startled expression.

“Cassian, what’s wrong?”

“Y/N… You’re…” He let out a disbelieving laugh as he continued to stare at you, drinking in every feature, every miniscule detail and expression that crossed your face. Turning your head, you tried to look around for the cause of his sudden change in demeanour, only to be met with gentle, yet calloused, hands cupping your face, urging you to meet his gaze before his lips were pressed over yours again.

Despite the confusion, you gratefully accepted and leant into the kiss, relaxing as his arms draped around your waist and as you let your fingers travel up his neck before tangling into his hair. Cassian was breathing heavily when he pulled away, you could hear the pounding of his heart as he pressed his forehead against yours. His eyes remained tightly shut, the feel of his lashes fluttering across your skin sent your own heart fluttering in response.

Then he mumbled something incoherently; too quiet and smothered for you to even begin to comprehend.

“Hmm?” You asked, pressing a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth as you ran your fingers through his hair.

Another murmur had you pulling away, eyebrows furrowing as you took in his dumbfounded expression and the way his eyes were still tightly shut. But there was now a smile tugging at his lips.

“Cass?”

“Mate. You’re my mate.” His eyes snapped open, revealing complete, utter joy as he stared at you with wonder and bewilderment.

Oh. Right.

“And you’re my mate.” At least you didn’t have to keep this to yourself any longer.

Cassian tilted his head as he processed your reaction and the way your lips spread into a soft, loving smile.

“You knew. You already knew.” Although his voice was laced with exasperation, his face held nothing but love and giddy excitement, eyes bright as he met yours. You sent a wave of affirmation down the newly linked bond, watching with joy as Cassian’s eyes lit up even further at the sensation. You knew you were grinning just as stupidly back at him when you felt a tug of your own filled with nothing but love.

The two of you stood there grinning and staring at one another as though seeing the other in a new light. Then you were both moving, arms a flurry as they desperately wrapped around the other, lips meeting in a loving and passionate kiss that only intensified with each tug that raced down the bond, igniting the need for more, so much more.

A gentle tap from Cassian and you were quick to jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist as his arms held you tightly against him. Through the kisses and moans and soft sighs, somehow Cassian found himself moving, walking the two of you to the door that would lead you inside and to your room.

“Wait,” You pulled back, gasping for air as you leant your forehead against his, legs still tightly wrapped around his middle. Cassian was panting just as heavily, waiting on your every move and word. “Kitchen.”

The suggestive grin he shot you went straight to your core, the feeling only amplified as he attached his lips to your neck. “I think I like where this is heading,” A soft moan sounded in the back of your throat as he tugged on your earlobe, then he was walking again, albeit very quickly, towards the kitchen, his lips back on yours.

“No, idiot,” Another moan had your breathless words halting immediately. “Food.”

Now Cassian pulled away, looking at you through the haze of love and lust, now tainted by a hint of confusion.

“Food,” You continued, pressing a kiss to his lips before trailing along his jaw and returning the favour with a tug on his earlobe. “For the mating bond.”

You felt Cassian’s body tense against you, “You’re going to accept it?”

“Yes…” you said tentatively, not quite understanding the need for his question because what other answer was there?

The intensity in which he kissed you had him stumbling back a few steps, arms wrapping even tighter around you to keep you in his arms.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Your gaze softened as you took in his uncertain expression, as you felt it through the bond.

“No, I don’t know. I just thought… I mean, you’re… Do you really want to be tied to a bastard-born Illy…” You cut his words off with a sharp look and a deep kiss that conveyed exactly what you thought of what he had just implied. Then you were sending every ounce of love and affection that you could muster towards him, heart melting as his expression changed and with the way he looked at you whilst processing the raw, vulnerability of the emotions surging down the bond.

You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, barely more than a lingering peck before saying, “Please can you let me give you some food now? I’ve been keeping this in all week.”

“All week? You’ve known about this since…”

“It snapped during our fight,” You shrugged, not wanting to relive it now that you had finally reached this point.

It was Cassian’s turn to pull you into a tender kiss before you found yourself overwhelmed by the new sensation of his emotions landing right above your heart.

“I think we can hold off on telling the others for just a little bit longer.”

“I think you’re absolutely right,” You tapped his arm gently and he placed you back onto your feet. Lacing your fingers with his, you pulled him into the kitchen and made him take a seat while you went about putting a plate of food together.

“Besides,” You continued, suddenly remembering Azriel’s involvement, “Az already knows. So I’m sure the others have put the pieces together by now and will steer clear for a few days.”

“A few weeks more like.” You grinned at the slight growl in his voice and the hunger in his eyes as his gaze remained fixed on you.

“Here,” Your voice was almost breathless, stomach fluttering with excitement and nerves as you pushed the plate towards him. Cassian briefly glanced down at it then, with a look of well-honed restraint, he slowly stood and walked over to you, pulling you in for a kiss as he murmured, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Without tearing his eyes away from you, Cassian reached across the table for the plate, eating everything on it as you remained transfixed on one another, basking in the feeling of the bond you shared growing stronger and stronger until, at last, everything felt as though it had finally fallen into place.

***** Thanks for reading 🥰

[sinnabarmoth]

Two Player Game

(A/N: If you ever wonder why I take a bit to write requests let this be an example of the amount of no chill I have. 6091 words baby!)

Pairing: Zayne x Fem|Reader

Prompt: You meet Zayne while playing a video game online and the more you talk the closer you get until you find yourself really wanting to meet your gaming buddy. Maybe to become proper friends, maybe to be something a little more.

Content Warnings: Adult language.

Length: 6k

The newest and hottest game that had come out for PC was out and any gamer worth their salt was thriving on it! It was an open world puzzle game set in this steampunk world. You created a character and went exploring the world, building skills, solving puzzles, and forging new friendships or enemies.

You had created a gunslinger for your character and had been building up your skills for a couple weeks, leveling up and getting better equipment. You were great at fighting off enemies that spawned while exploring but unfortunately because your stats were geared more towards combat and agility you hadn’t put much into actual book smarts, which was needed to access certain puzzles. People usually created teams for this then. Someone was the muscle and someone was the brain, then you both helped to solve whatever puzzles you came across.

It was a bit annoying that you could only access certain areas if you had someone with a high enough intelligence in your party but that was the point of the game. The creators had stated that they wanted to bring people together through gaming and requiring at least two people for any of the really challenging puzzles was a good way to do that. Some people modded the game to get past that requirement but you thought of it as cheating.

So you were in one of the taverns putting out a request on the board for someone with high intelligence to partner with you to puzzle locations. You had gotten a few responses from people who were at a much higher level than you and you figured they were probably seeking out lower level muscle so they could ditch you while you were fighting to get all the loot while you were busy. You had made that mistake before so you were looking for someone closer to your own level.

Finally you got a promising response. A level 9 scholar by the name of WinterKnight that had been so polite in their response to you. “I see you are looking for someone to partner with to solve more puzzles. I created my character with a high intelligence but I must warn you that because I put almost everything into intelligence they are not very strong or agile. If this is a problem and you would like a more well-rounded character that can better protect themselves I understand. Thank you for your consideration.”

How could you turn them down after that? Besides, it didn’t matter how weak their character was, you had faith in your own abilities to more than make up for it. You messaged them back, “You sound like a perfect fit! Don’t worry about your other abilities, that’s what I’m here for! What do you say we meet at the Greasy Gear to discuss this more in person?”

“Sure.”

You went to the tavern in game that was already full to bursting with people. Maybe you should have chosen somewhere less busy. But you spotted the username "WinterKnight" that had sent you the response. You didn’t know how to get his attention without pushing through the crowd so you just started spinning in circles outside. Eventually your movement caught his attention and he came outside. You got a message in your DM’s.

WinterKnight: Why are you spinning out here?

Me: Tried to get your attention and it worked! I didn’t realize it would be so crowded in here. Wanna go someplace quieter?

WinterKnight: Sounds good.

You decided to leave the bustle of the main street and eventually wandered into a park. You talked about how long you had been playing, what sort of solo puzzles you had already accessed, and what you were expecting out of this partnership. Neither of you were hardcore gamers since you both had full time jobs so you’d only be able to get on and play when you both weren’t working which was also difficult since you both apparently had wildly erratic schedules. So your arrangement was more of a become mutual friends and meet up when you both happened to be online.

This worked out well for a bit. You weren’t exactly close, you didn’t really message about anything outside of the game. But you were having fun solving puzzles together. You were also realizing that WinterKnight was pretty funny. His humor was dry but clever and it made you giggle on the other side of the screen. Maybe you needed to invest in a headset so you could talk in real time.

All was the same until one night you were having trouble falling asleep so you decided to get on and do some exploring and saw that WinterKnight was also online. You decided to send him a message.

Me: Hey, what are you doing up so late?

WinterKnight: I could ask you the same thing.

Me: Can’t sleep. Now you.

WinterKnight: Rough day at work, looking to unwind. Don’t feel like doing any puzzles right now.

Me: Neither was I. You just wanna talk?

WinterKnight: Sure. Why can’t you sleep?

Me: Idk. Brain won’t turn off. Too many thoughts running through it. Why was work rough? Coworkers being assholes or something?

WinterKnight: No. Just an influx of paperwork and a lot of new patients coming in.

Me: Patients? Do you work in a hospital?

WinterKnight: Yes. Hence the odd hours.

Me: Ah. What are the chances we’ve already met?

WinterKnight: It’s possible. But I’d advise against sharing personal information with someone you still barely know.

Me: I wasn’t gonna. But hey, instead of just standing here how about we take a walk? Have you been to the top of the clocktower yet? There’s a great view.

WinterKnight: Sure. Why not.

You went to the central clocktower in the game and started the climb up. It took a long time of actually climbing all the stairs to the very top. You applauded the game makers for not just adding an elevator that cuts to the top of the tower but this meant that you spent a good while just going in a constant upward spiral. So to fill the silence you kept talking to WinterKnight.

Me: Hey Winter. Question for ya. What made you buy this game?

WinterKnight: Looked interesting. I’m not much for combat but I liked the look of the puzzles. Thought it’d be a good way to unwind, distance myself from work a bit. What about you?

Me: I love gaming and this was just the latest game that came out that I knew I wanted to play.

WinterKnight: I see. A question for you if you don’t mind.

Me: Shoot.

WinterKnight: Why is your username FlowerTower of all things? Why Tower? It doesn’t seem to go with your gunslinger.

Me: I wanted FlowerPower but it was already taken so unless I wanted to add a bunch of numbers I had to change it, but I still wanted something that rhymed. Hence FlowerTower. But it kinda gives Rapunzel vibes dontcha think?

WinterKnight: I don’t see how that relates to gunslingers but I guess.

Me: Okay bigshot. Why do you call yourself WinterKnight if you’re a scholar and not a fighter?

WinterKnight: Touche.

You made it to the top of the clocktower. The game followed the same pattern of time as the real world so it was night as you looked out over the sprawling city below. The world below was small and distant but it sparkled with light. Way out in the distance you could make out the wilderness beyond the city.

Me: See, isn’t it nice up here?

WinterKnight: It is. This is really a remarkable feat of programming to make something this vast.

Me: I know! And to think, in this huge network of people we ended up meeting. Kinda feels like fate in a way.

WinterKnight: If you say so.

Me: You know you could stand to be a little more whimsical. Don’t tell me you’re someone who doesn’t believe in destiny.

WinterKnight: I believe life is what it is. We make our choices, they lead us down certain paths, and wherever we end up is where we are. We carved it ourselves. There’s nothing out there to prove that something is fated to happen.

Me: I think that while life is made out of our choices, some things do happen by fate. I’ll prove it to you.

WinterKnight: How do you plan on doing that?

Me: I have no idea!

WinterKnight: ...

Me: What?

WinterKnight: You fascinate me.

Me: I’ll take that as a compliment. Btw what do you think about getting headsets so we can talk directly instead of typing everything?

WinterKnight: I wouldn’t be opposed. It’d make puzzles easier, especially when they’re timed.

Me: Great! Next time we meet we’ll both have headsets and we’ll actually be able to talk!

You were giddy with the thought of actually being able to talk to your new online friend! You really were hoping there voice wasn’t annoying. It’d be rude to ask to go back to text just for that. After work the next day you went out to the electronics store and went to find a pair of gaming headphones but there was a guy standing in front of the case already.

You were kind of shocked to see a guy like him looking at gaming equipment. He was tall, handsome, dark hair,, had a kind of stoic air about him that was cool and intimidating. Maybe he was buying a present for a friend or was using the headphones for some other purpose. It didn’t have to be for gaming. His sharp gaze glanced at you, noticing that you were waiting and stepped back. “Did you need through?” he asked. Even his voice sounded cool and measured.

“I’m just here to look at the headsets.” you turned toward the case. There were a lot of different models.

“Do you…” the man said, “Do you know what headset may be better? I did my own research but I am still unsure.”

“Oh, I don’t really know.” you shrugged. “I guess it depends on your budget and what you’re hoping to get out of it.” Your eye caught a cute headset that had little cat ears built in on top. That settled it, you didn’t care how well they actually worked. You wanted those ones! “Me personally, I tend to go for looks over quality.”

You called a worker over to unlock the case for you and grabbed the cat ear headset before heading to the register. “Good luck to you.” you called to the man before leaving.

You couldn’t wait to get home and get online. You didn’t know when Winter was going to be on but you figured it was best to get the headset set up and practice a little before finding your gaming buddy. It was so weird having all the noise directly in your ears for a change, you were so used to it coming out of the speakers.

You played solo for a while, chatting with some people before logging off. Winter hadn’t come online so you figured he was still at work or possibly doing something else. It wasn’t like all you ever did was work and game either. Which reminded you, you had promised your friends you’d go out to dinner with them that evening.

In the end you didn’t end up seeing Winter online until two days later. You got into your chat and hit the direct talk option. “Hey Winter, you get your headset?” you asked, hoping you didn’t sound weird.

“Yes, I did.” his voice came through and you had to take a second to process what came through your headphones. You had expected a pretty normal masculine voice, braced yourself for him to be a little nasally maybe or something. You were not expecting a voice as smooth and cool as this. He sounded like the voice actor of a freaking otome game! Was he using a voice filter? There was no way he actually sounded that--that--hot!

“Flower, you still there?” he asked and you snapped yourself back to the present.

“Uh yeah, I’m here. Sorry. I guess I was shocked to actually be hearing your voice for the first time.” you were so glad you had the anonymity of a screen so he couldn’t see how flustered you were. Hopefully it didn’t bleed over into your voice.

“It is strange. I will admit, there was a part of me that was worried you would have been a man.” he said.

“Why would that have been bad?”

“Because I had believed this entire time that I was playing with a woman. It would have been jarring if you turned out to be a man.”

“Would you have stopped playing with me?”

“Probably not.” he said. “Do you want to go try out the puzzle underneath the abandoned warehouse again? I think it should go more smoothly now that we can talk.”

“Yeah sure. Let’s go.” you started playing and everything fell back into place. Being able to communicate directly was helping a lot. In the coming days you had been able to conquer a lot of puzzle areas together and you were both sitting pretty at level 23 now.

Outside of puzzles it also just let you talk while exploring the town and wilderness which was nice. You were learning more about Winter as you played. You had asked him for food recommendations one day when you were hungry and the majority of what he recommended was sweets.

“What about tiramisu?” he said.

“No, I feel like having something else.”

“Caneles?”

You rolled your eyes. “Winter, why do you only ever recommend sweets?”

“I don’t just recommend sweets. That would be unhealthy and irresponsible.”

“Oh right, yesterday when I asked for dinner recommendations you said hot dogs of all things.”

“What’s wrong with the occasional hot dog? You can add toppings to make it more filling and flavorful.” he defended himself. “If you don’t like my recommendations, why do you keep asking?”

“I guess I’m just waiting for you to suggest something more substantial than sweets and hot dogs. I mean, you work in a hospital, probably preach all that healthy living crap. Shouldn’t you be telling me to eat my greens, abstain from sweets, drink plenty of water, that kinda thing?”

“You should but I figured I didn’t need to tell you to do all that.”

“Screw it, I’m grabbing some baby carrots from the fridge.” you stepped back from the game with your headset still on.

“You’re gonna eat carrots?” He said, a small not of disgust in his voice.

“Don’t worry, I know they’re crunchy. I’ll go mute while I eat them.” you said, grabbing the bag out of the fridge and putting a couple in a little bowl.

“That wasn’t what I was worried about.”

“What? You don’t like carrots or something.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“They’re gross.”

“Gross? What are you, five?” you chuckled. “What’s gross about a carrot? They’re really yummy.”

“Yummy? Now who’s the one with a childish vocabulary.” he teased right back.

“Attack me all you want, I’m not the picky eater here.”

“I’m not picky.”

“Yes you are.” you sunk back into your gaming chair. “You have a set of foods that you like and you stick to them. I asked you once if you had ever had seared scallops and you said no, just like you say any time I ask you about any kind of slightly adventurous food. You WinterKnight, are a picky eater.” He couldn’t see but you gesticulating wildly with a carrot.

“I am not.”

“Are too.”

“Shouldn’t we be focusing on the puzzle?”

“You know I’m right so you’re trying to change the subject.”

“No. I just have to go to work later so I’d like to have this done in a timely manner.”

“Keep telling yourself that. If we ever meet in real life and get dinner together I just know I’ll be able to guess what you are ordering.”

“If you are so sure then I’ll let you order for me.”

“Letting you know, if we ever do I’m keeping you to that promise. If I order correctly then I win.”

“Fine. If we ever go out for dinner.” he said, a hint of humor in his voice.

Talk about going out to dinner didn’t come up again but your teasing before had gotten him to purchase a cookbook so he could recommend stuff other than sweets. Though when you asked for sweet recommendations he always had great choices. You found yourself online more not to solve the puzzles or explore the world, you just wanted to talk to Winter. When you saw he was online your heart did a little jump of excitement and you went to find him wherever he was.

“Alright, so do you have any new recipes for me to try?” you asked one night as you were meandering around the town.

“I did find a good recipe for korokke if that interests you at all.”

“Deep fried potato and meat patties,” you sighed dreamily. “I’m actually salivating a bit.”

A small dry laugh left him and it warmed your heart all the more to hear it. “Glad to hear you think my recommendations have gotten better.”

“To be fair, I never said they were bad. I just said they revolved a lot around sweets.” you replied through a yawn. Crap! You had been careful about muting yourself when you yawned because Winter always went into mother hen mode when he thought you were tired.

“You getting sleepy?” he asked. “It is rather late, maybe we should turn in.”

“No. I’m fine.” you said quickly. “Really, the night is still plenty young and I am awake!”

“Didn’t you say you had your company mandated physical tomorrow morning? You should go to bed.”

“I don’t want to though.” you whined. “I want to keep talking.”

“I’ll still be here tomorrow. We can talk then. Now get some sleep, Flower.”

“Oh okay, I have to go to sleep cause I have a physical but you can stay up even though you said you have an early shift at the hospital. Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you.” he said. That one sentence woke you back up with a jolt. You knew that you were always on so you could have more chances to talk to Winter but you hadn’t thought that he could have been doing the same for you. Now that you came to think of it, most evenings his voice was the last one you heard before you turned in for bed. Even if you were only on for ten minutes that was ten minutes you got to spend talking with him. And he was almost always on when you logged on late at night. Could it really be possible that he had been logging on after getting off a long shift at work just to talk to you for a couple minutes like you did for him?

“And now I have,” Winter continued, blissfully unaware of the feelings waking up inside of you, “and I will talk to you more tomorrow if our schedules allow it. Now log off and go to bed.”

“Okay.” you conceded. “Good night, Winter.”

“Good night, Flower.” the call ended and you reluctantly logged off and got ready for bed.

Although, sleep did not come easy. You tossed and turned as thoughts of Winter swirled in your head. You were in a whole heap of trouble now.

~~~

You pulled yourself out of bed early the next morning, silently cursing yourself for not going to bed sooner. No way you were letting Winter know though. You could just hear his self-satisfied little “I told you so” already. You’d take a nap after work and he’d be none the wiser. Ha!

Still, you needed to get ready to go to your physical. You got showered and changed, grabbed a quick breakfast and were out the door. You were still incredibly sleepy as you headed towards the hospital and could feel yourself nodding off on the bus. No! Stay awake! You just needed to wake up a little and you’d be right as rain, some caffeine would help too.

You made your way into the hospital and meandered down the hall to the waiting room. You yawned, your eyes falling closed as the long breath escaped you. And in the five seconds your eyes were closed you managed to bump into someone. You weren’t expecting the hit and your exhausted body easily went off kilter and collided with the floor. “Ow.”

“My apologies, are you alright?” the stranger asked in a familiar voice but you could barely focus due to the pain in your tailbone.

“Yeah, I‘m fine.” you winced as you sat up. The stranger was holding a hand out for you and helped pull you to standing.

“You know, you should keep your eyes open when you’re walking.” he said. You looked up at the man who you knocked into and your eyes went wide. You knew this man. It was the guy from the electronics store, that’s why he sounded familiar.

“I was yawning. It’s not my fault.” you said. “And you, didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Me?” his brow furrowed. “Oh right, the electronic shop.”

“Yeah. Did you end up finding a good headset?” you asked.

You noticed his ears went a bit red, his eyes darting to the nurses next to him. “Yes. I did.” he cleared his throat. “Now, if you are alright I need to get going.”

“Right. Me too. Sorry for bumping into you.”

“And to you too. I wasn’t paying attention.” he nodded again and took off, the nurses trailing behind him as he moved on with his day. So the cool guy looking at headsets was actually a doctor. The more you thought about the more convinced you were that he must have gotten the headset for a friend or something.

You made it on time to your appointment and went through your physical, passing with flying colors. You would have liked to return home but you still had a full work day to get through. So you grabbed a large coffee and went back about your day. By the time you got home you were physically dead. You didn’t even bother changing outside of taking your bra off before flopping down on your bed and catching a quick nap.

Well, it was supposed to be a quick nap but you ended up sleeping for like three hours. It was late then when you woke up and needed to get dinner. So you made some quick cup noodles and scrolled through channels as you ate. All you could think of though was korokke Winter had mentioned last night. God that sounded good. You maybe would have ordered some if it wasn’t already so late. You also didn’t know what restaurant near you would even serve korokke and was open and delivering this late.

So instead you pulled yourself over to the computer to see if Winter was online. He wasn’t. Today had been a pretty crap day and you were hoping to chat a little bit before you turned in. You waited around, checking his status repeatedly to see if he logged on but he wasn’t there. Maybe he got stuck at work. Or he could be out with friends…or maybe out on a date.

He sounded like a really nice guy. You had to assume that he was dating someone. You couldn’t fathom why he would be single. Then again, he spent most nights gaming with you. So maybe your pining wasn’t hopeless.

Oh god…when did this turn into a crush? You didn’t even know the guy’s real name! Didn’t know what he looked like or anything. All you knew was that he was your age and he worked in a hospital. That’s all the clues you had to his identity.

Would it be weird to ask what his name was now after you’d been playing together for weeks? You liked to think that this friendship meant something more to him. You had mentioned that one time meeting in real life and getting dinner but it was said jokingly. Would he weirded out if asked to meet in real life? Did this mean a lot more to you than it did to him? You hated having all these questions.

“You’re still on, Flower?” Winter’s voice came in through your headphones. You picked your head up off the desk and saw that his online status was up.

“Oh yeah, I’m here.” you said quickly. “I was just poking around a bit. Didn’t know if I was going to hear from you today.”

“Well, I was going to go straight to bed but I figured if there was a chance that you were online I had a duty to come and tell you to go to bed. You stayed up really late last night and woke up early this morning, you should probably turn in so your sleep schedule will be back on track.”

“Sleep schedule, ha! Good one! You know sleep schedules don’t exist in this house.”

“Which is why I’m trying to get you on one.”

“Don’t try and doctor me, mister.”

“Someone has to. I honestly wonder how you got anything done before I came into your life.”

“I was doing just fine before I met you. Did I have a consistent sleep schedule? No. Did I have a balanced diet? Also no. Did I spend most of my time gaming instead of exercising? Yes. Did I--”

“You realize you’re just proving my point, right?”

“Oh shut it. You didn’t even own a cookbook until I got on you for only eating sweets.”

“I’ve told you a hundred times, I do not only eat sweets.”

“Not anymore at least.”

“Go to bed.” he said, his voice curt but you could tell he was resisting a laugh.

“You go to bed! You stayed up just as late as me and got up early too!”

“I am going to bed. I’m just making sure that you are too.”

“I’m going. I’m going.” you sighed, reclining back in your chair. “Real quick though, Winter, do you maybe kinda possibly want to meet up?”

“In game?”

“No. In real life.” you said. “I just thought since we both live in Linkon and we get along so well…if you don’t I totally get it. It was just a suggestion. That way we wouldn’t have to rely on this game to talk to each other if we wanted to.”

There was a silence that felt like it stretched on forever before Winter finally answered. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Your whole person melted in relief. “Okay great. Um…schedule a date tomorrow when we’re both more awake?”

“Sounds like a plan. Talk to you tomorrow. Good night, Flower.”

“Good night, Winter.” you couldn’t keep the giddiness out of your voice. You logged out and collapsed into bed, kicking your feet. He didn’t shoot you down! You were actually going to meet him!

Oh god you were actually going to meet him…

The next day after some proper sleep you got online to talk to Winter and schedule a date and place for your first meeting. You chose an adorable cat cafe since you remembered Winter talking about how much he liked cats. Cats apparently didn’t like him as much as he did them but those were strays. Maybe a cafe full of cuddly kittens would be more open to him.

With the date set you decided to go out and do some quick grocery shopping. You also wanted to surprise Winter with homemade sweets since he had such a sweet tooth. You decided on some simple cookies and stopped to grab some ingredients you needed.

As you were going up and down the aisles grabbing what you needed you looked around for the vanilla extract and sighed when you saw no bottles where the tag said the vanilla was. Were they out? It was on a high shelf so all you could see and would have been able to grab was one at the very front. If it turned out there was more but it was near the back cause no one moved them forward you were screwed.

You gave a little jump and saw there were more bottles in the back where you couldn’t reach. You just wanted to bake cookies for your friend. Why were their roadblocks? You strained to reach the shelf thrusting your hand back as far as it could go but even with a small boost from standing on the bottom most shelf you still couldn’t grasp it.

“Do you need some help?” someone had walked up next to you.

“Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind--” you stopped when turned and saw it was that doctor again! You just kept running into each other. “It’s you again.”

“Strange that we keep running into each other.” he said, clearly surprised by the coincidence. “You’re not stalking me, are you?”

“I don’t have the time or energy to stalk anyone.” you rolled your eyes. “Maybe you’re the one stalking me.”

“I’m a doctor. I don’t exactly have a lot of free time and you think I’d waste it stalking someone I met once at an electronics shop? Besides, it was you that showed up at my work.”

“Because I had a work physical. I didn’t mean to run into you there, how would I have even known you were a doctor from our first meeting?” you put your hands on your hips.

“Stalkers find ways.” he smirked and you bit back a smile.

“Really putting my mind at ease there. Now, you were offering to grab the vanilla for me?”

“Right.” he easily reached up and grabbed the bottle of vanilla from the back. “There you are. And just to make sure, I don’t actually think you are a stalker.”

“Yeah, I got that.” you said with a smile. “Thanks for the vanilla and I am sorry if I embarrassed you at your work the other day.”

“It was nothing. I wasn’t embarrassed.” he said, looking away.

“Uh huh sure.” you put the vanilla in your basket. “Well, thanks for helping me out. Maybe we’ll run into each other again.”

“Given our track record so far I’d say it’s an inevitability.” he shrugged. “Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

You returned home and got to baking your cookies for your date. Well, meet up. Not a date. You weren’t going on a date with Winter. You were just meeting for the first time. If this meeting went well then you could become better friends, real friends that knew each other’s names and texted and stuff. That’s all you were aiming for right now.

You found yourself super nervous the morning of your meeting. You had been fretting over what to wear. What was too dressy or too casual? It was just a cafe so you didn’t need to get dressed up but first impressions still mattered. Ugh! Why were you freaking out so much? Eventually you put on an old reliable outfit that you were comfortable in and looked nice and headed out, a tin of homemade cookies in your hands.

You got to the cafe and stepped inside. Almost immediately you had cats rubbing against your legs looking for attention. Oh they were so cute! You looked around for an open table and your eyes went wide when you saw who was sitting at one of the booths.

He looked up at the same time and a small smile tugged at his lips. “Hey there stalker,” you said, “What brings you here?”

“Very funny. I’m not stalking you, I’m meeting a friend here.” he said, humor in his eyes.

“Me too.” you checked the time. “He should be here by now.”

One of the little kittens was meowing at your feet so you decided to pick them up. There was another cat nearby that had jumped up on the seat across from the doctor. He reached out to try and pet it but the cat saw his outstretched hand and scurried off before he could. “Not a big cat person, are you?”

“I like cats, they just don’t like me.” he sighed.

“Sounds like the friend I’m meeting. Cats run away from him all the time. He actually told me stories about how even sleeping cats seem to be able to sense when he’s nearby and bolt when he gets close. I feel bad for him since he likes cats so much.” you gave the little kitten in your arms a scratch under the chin.

“Flower?”

Your spine went straight as you looked at the doctor. “What did you say?”

“Are you FlowerTower?” he asked again.

Your mouth dropped open. “WinterKnight?”

For a moment you just stood there staring at each other then a laugh bubbled up in your chest. “Oh my god, I cannot believe you were Winter this entire time.” You laughed. “We’ve been floating around each other all this time and didn’t even realize.”

“I had thought your voice sounded familiar that day I saw you at the hospital. I didn’t think anything of it though.” he smiled in disbelief.

“Funny how life works out, huh?” you sat down across from him. “I’m sorry, I can’t get over this. It is too funny.”

“It is certainly unexpected.” he said. “We’ve been talking for weeks, you’d think one of us would have recognized the other’s voice.”

“Well, it wasn’t like we talked long when we met in person before. Besides, people kinda sound different over the phone than they do in person. I think this was just the universe toying with us before we decided to meet.”

“Seems so.” he leaned back in his chair. “Well then, it is a pleasure to meet you at last…what is your name?”

“Oh right.” you told him your name and asked for his.

“Zayne.” he nodded, holding a hand out for you. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Zayne.” you smiled. He was Winter no more, now he was Zayne. “Well, I know we’re at a cafe but I had a little something for you.” you took the small tin of cookies out of you bag and handed them to him. “Since I know how much you like sweets.”

“Is this what you bought the vanilla for?” he asked, opening the tin and taking out one of the cookies.

“In fact, yes. Do you like them?” you asked nervously.

He bit into one with a smile. “They’re delicious.”

You spent the rest of the afternoon talking and laughing. Now that your identities were out in the open you talked much more freely. It was amazing just how well you were getting along in person. You had been worried that when you met face to face that conversation would be awkward but everything flowed smoothly. It felt like you had been talking to someone you had known for years.

And to make everything better, Zayne was very good looking. It didn’t help your crush but it was nice to have a face to put the voice. Soon you had to say your goodbyes. You walked out of the cafe, one of you noticeably covered in more cat hair than the other. Poor Zayne. You really felt bad that the cats didn’t like him. You didn’t know what it was about him that repelled them so but it was kinda heartbreaking to see how disappointed he got every time a cat got close just to bolt the next second.

As you stepped outside Zayne turned to you. “Would you like to go out again sometime? Do more of this?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that. Dinner next time, that way I can prove my theory on if I can guess your order or not.”

Zayne chuckled lightly. “Sure. Dinner sounds lovely.”

You exchanged phone numbers. You were about to walk away when something else occurred to you. “Hey Zayne, one more question before we go.”

“What is it?”

“Do you believe in destiny now?”

Recognition lit his eyes, a warm smile growing on his face. His hand took yours, holding onto just a couple of your fingers in a hesitant but tender gesture. “I’m starting to.”

[merriepy]

DATING ACHERON!

•. Acheron x gn! Reader

tags: headcanon, fluff (+ small angst)

cw: /

summary: A few headcanons about what your relationship with Acheron would look like!

a/n: I'm currently experimenting with new layouts/formats so please don't mind the new look! No third person pronouns used for the reader

•. Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home.

•. Dating someone like Acheron would be quite an interesting experience. She's not your average romantic lover who showers you with kisses, but rather with hugs and gifts! Since she travels the cosmos a lot she knows that seeing you might be hard, since some destinations are too dangerous for you, or maybe you're not as nomadic and her and want to stay in one place. Acheron would 100% bring you little souvenirs that always align with your taste - whether it's new clothes that are rising in popularity on the planet she was just at or a little plushie of the regional animals. As for touches, I think she's someone who's just really casual about pda as in always holding your arm or waist, or leaning against you when she's exhausted. She loves to do that, her chin either resting on your shoulder or head depending on your height.

•. And of course, since she likes to spoil you, you'd do the same!! You'd always make sure to have peaches at home since it's her favourite food. When Acheron is actually home or you two get to rest during your travels, you'd always make sure to prepare peaches for her alongside breakfast to make her happy!

•. In return, Acheron would totally remember your favourite food and where to get the right ingredients for it. She even tried very hard to remember the way to your favourite takeout place, though she still gets lost from time to time. The embarrassment in her voice when she calls you, asking for you to pick her up and admitting that she wanted to treat you to a nice meal but doesn't know the way back home always makes you chuckle.

•. Acheron thinks a lot about your first meeting. She knows how she seems to others: cold, distant, maybe even dangerous. But you approached her, and gave her a chance. She would've never guessed you that two would become more than friends, and neither did you. But even after your first meeting where you two exchanged numbers you kept checking up on her, asking how she was doing, and offered so many times to be there for her if she needed someone to talk to. Of course, Acheron's struggles are far greater than that of average people and she was never completely honest with you about her backstory. She still isn't honest but how are you supposed to bring up something like her story? She just hopes you'll never hold it against her if you do figure it out eventually.

•. One thing she did tell you though was her actual name. You never wondered about it, if Acheron was her actual name or just a coverup. Even after she told you about it you felt weird to not call her Acheron anymore but rather Mei. You got around to it eventually and kept giving her nicknames like Mei-Mei, something she reacted very casually to.

•. I think domestic life with Acheron is chaotic. She isn't used to settling down anymore, not even for a short time. She'd also lose her belongings everywhere in the house because she forgot where she had put them. Cooking isn't one of her strengths as well but she's very willing to learn and she's actually able to become a great cook with enough practice!

•. She's really encouraging and always makes sure to tell you about how great you're doing and that she's proud of you. I think your relationship includes a lot of encouraging and praising from both sides (as it should be!).

•. Something you like to do that Acheron isn't aware of is to keep track of her make-up. She always carries it with her which sometimes leads to the makeup being damaged, so you like to replace or fix it, depending on the damage. She isn't aware that you're the one who replaces it: she thinks she did it herself but forgot.

•. Nights with her are beautiful, though not easy. She likes to get lost in your touch as the soft starlight illuminates the room, but her dreams are usually filled with terror - dreams of those who succumbed to her blade and of those who she couldn't save. Being with you doesn't get rid of the nightmares, as much as she would like to, but the comfort you give her is enough to calm down after the night has felt especially long.

•.Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home. But when she's with you, her heart feels lighter, the pain easier, and maybe - soon - she'll be able to heal under your grace before going on her last journey.•

[farfaras]

Part 2.

What if Eddie moved on from thinking Steve and Nancy should get back together when Jonathan came back and saw how they’re actually destined to be together even tho they still have shit to figure out.

I know it’s a popular hc that Eddie and Robin clock each other immediately BUT I still think that as two queer kids in a small backwards town they’re more worried about no one finding out about them so they wouldn’t notice someone else. So worried about themselves that they (like straight people) also fall into the mindset of ‘everyone is straight until proven otherwise’.

What’s the result of this? Eddie seeing how close Robin and Steve are and thinking there must be something there. And because Steve is a little more affectionate than Robin, now Eddie thinks he’s pining after her.

“Why aren’t you and Robin together?”

“It’s not like that. She’s my best friend.”

“I don’t buy it.”

So now Steve has to put up with Eddie constantly going on about how Steve should just ask her out already, what’s he waiting for, she probably likes him back.

It bothers Steve to no end. He wished society had advanced enough to realize that men and women can be platonic friends without having to explain themselves.

A nightmare.

And Steve would never out Robin, so telling him the truth wasn’t an option. And he really wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now, so that was out of the question. What could he do to get Eddie to understand that him and Robin would never happen?

Then he remembered. It seemed so distant but Steve actually tried to tell Robin he liked her once. It was kinda embarrassing to think about now, specially because he saw Robin as nothing more than a friend now. He couldn’t even remember what having a crush on her ever felt like. And maybe he never even had one, shitty friends and shitty parents maybe warped his perception and then he couldn’t see the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. Well, that was for another day. He could tell the difference now. He thinks.

He could just tell Eddie about that moment in starcourt. He would just leave out the part about Robin having absolutely bad taste in girls. Foolproof. Eddie would leave it alone now.

“What? She just rejected you and then you decided to become her best friend?” He looked surprised, like the idea was impossible to understand.

“And I don’t regret it. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“You’re crazy.” Steve didn’t expect that.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie looked at him and his expression was hard to read. “You’re telling me that after being rejected you didn’t need time away? Just jumped to being a platonic friend? Despite your feelings?” He scoffed. “I could never do that.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Now I know you’re lying. You still like her?”

Steve really tried to convince Eddie that he didn’t like Robin anymore. But no matter what he would say he didn’t believe him.

So Steve gave up.

Now he goes along with it. It’s easier. It stopped Eddie from trying to set them up or whatever.

Except it didn’t.

Now Eddie came up with the absolute great idea of making her jealous. Which was so so ridiculous Steve had to hold back laughter. He didn’t mention how much Robin had heard about past dates. This was beginning to amuse him just a little bit.

“How would I even do that?” Steve asked, curious as to what Eddie would come up with.

“You know? Let me think about this.” He made a show of putting his hand on his chin, contemplating. “Show up at work with some marks on you neck. You know, see how she reacts to that knowledge.” Steve knows how Robin reacts to that. Before Vecna, on his endless quest to find ‘the one’ (what a waste) he had some hookups. One time he went into work with one or two hickeys on his neck. Robin wouldn’t even bat her eyes, just would ask ‘who was it now?’ and then ask if he would see her again. The answer was no. Eddie didn’t know this.

“Yeah well, I really don’t feel like going on a date and hooking up with someone just to use it to bait a reaction. Seems kinda cruel to the other person.” Steve thinks that should be enough to shut this idea down.

“Huh. Maybe you’re better than me because I didn’t even think about that.”

Steve doesn’t reply, just snorts. And he thinks that’s gonna be the end of it. There’s nothing else Eddie can really do or come up with. Right?

Wrong.

“I could do it.” Did Steve hear that right? Huh?

“What?” Steve asked.

“Give you a hickey. It’s no big deal, really.”

If you asked Steve why he said yes. Man, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He really doesn’t know! It’s like someone possessed him and he was moving his mouth, but it wasn’t him. Maybe it was because he couldn’t come up with a reason not to do it fast enough that would convince Eddie.

They were both sitting on the couch so Eddie just leaned in and started on a spot on the left side of his neck. Steve’s hand instinctively moved to the back of Eddie’s head. One wouldn’t think so based on its appearance but Eddie’s hair was surprisingly soft.

Suddenly there were teeth scraping his neck. Steve let out a noise that he hadn’t heard before. He accidentally pulled a little on Eddie’s hair, he was gonna apologize but Eddie didn’t seem to mind, he just hummed.

“Did you just bite me?”

Eddie pulled back and sneered. “Sorry. I let my impulsive thoughts win.” What does that even mean?

Steve was gonna ask if that did it but then Eddie moved to his lap, straddling him. “What are you doing?”

“Getting the other side?” Makes sense? Honestly his mind was getting a little mushy and was only focusing on Eddie’s weight on him. When Eddie leaned in again, Steve’s hands traveled to rest on his hips. Eddie’s on his shoulders to have leverage, his hips hovering now.

Steve tipped his head back to give him a little more space. With more space Eddie seemed to be satisfied with that spot and moved lower, however this next one was sensitive to Steve, he’s always known that. He was gonna say so but he couldn’t, Eddie was already on it. He let out a breathy sound and gripped Eddie’s hips tighter making him slam back on his lap. He thinks Eddie moaned, he’s not sure tho. “Sorry.” He muttered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy this.

He did.

Maybe he should put a stop to it.

He hasn’t so far.

It went on a little longer. Some hands wandering. Some sounds uttered. Minds getting floaty.

He knew it was coming to an end when Eddie started leaving kisses to soothe the spots, he trailed until he got to his ear. Which he actually licked. It was probably to make a joke but it only made Steve shiver.

“I think you’re done.” Eddie said. He hesitated a second before climbing off his lap.

Steve knew he looked winded. Eddie tried to look casual but he’s known him for a while and could see that it was feigned casualness.

“Uh. Good.” Lame. Steve is lame.

Mike Wheeler was right because Steve Harrington is lame.

How is he gonna explain this to Robin?

[moonstruckme]

Oooo darling!! Your latest TASM fic sparked and idea!

(Before that, hello lovely 🩷 i hope you're having the best spooky season!)

Big brother!Sirius coming to save some poor sod that upset his slytherin!sister (Regulus' twin). So you have the charming & fun Sirius; quiet & regal Regulus; loyal & volatile reader. And i imagine Sirius calls them his twin stars (because hes deffinately a huge sap).

Where wolfstar is in 7th year and has a great relationship with the twins (maybe theyre trying to become their legal guardians behind the scenes). He and Remus are in their dorm before Peter bursts in, breathless, only saying "y/n" before Sirius is off. He has no doubt to why you were put in 🐍, and god forbid someone actually hurt his baby sister.

On reader's side, someone made a snide comment about Remmy being a halfblood or ruining the Black legacy or something and reader gets pissed because shes actually quite fond of him.

Then whatever you decide love; maybe reader gets hurt; maybe she does the hurting; maybe Remus saves the day with his long legs; or Sirius might show people what growing up in the 'Noble house of Black' does to someone. And idk what Reggie is doing, i imagine he was making out with James and they come in at the last minute ("😱 james!! What have you done!? Youve DEFILED one of my precious stars!!! Let go of him!!!! NO, dont touch him, get away.")

Anyway bub, as always; dont feel pressured and take all the creative liberties youd like!! Love you lots darling x

Hi my lovely, thanks for requesting! I really need to get more creative than bloody noses but ugh they're just so classic

cw: blood

big brother!sirius + (as opposed to x, I guess?) little sister!reader ♡ 861 words

“You weren’t there!” you insist as Sirius stalks back and forth across the room, tapping his wand against his leg in a quick, restless beat. “He said—he—” You look at Remus, the boy’s eyebrows drawn together in concentration and concern as he presses a cloth under your nose, trying to stop the blood that’s already crusted down your chin. You decide to keep your mouth shut. 

Remus smiles wryly, and you know he suspects why you’ve chosen to go quiet. “It doesn’t matter what they said, love. I don’t need you getting in fights for me.”

“Who was it?” Sirius demands, for probably the fourth or fifth time. You’re losing count. 

“It’s already been hand—ah!” Remus murmurs an episky while you’re distracted, and you flinch, hands flying to your face as your septum snaps back into its proper place. “Fuck, could’a given me some warning.” 

“Sorry,” Remus says, and he looks like he means it, tilting your chin up to continue cleaning your face as you look at him with teary eyes. “Thought it might hurt less if you weren’t expecting it.” 

“How do you figure?” you ask him, somewhat miffed. 

“Back. On. Task.” Sirius claps his hands with each word, coming to a stop in front of you. “Who did this? Remus is my boyfriend, I have twice as much a right to defend his honor as you do, you—you fucking—squirt.” 

You sneer at the childish name, but you know your brother means to rile you. “I told you, I handled it. He won’t do it again.” 

“And he’s never going to touch you again either,” Sirius promises menacingly, squatting in front of you to look you in the eyes, “if you just tell me the fucker’s name.” 

“Alright, that’s enough,” Remus says, taking his boyfriend’s shoulder in a spindly hand, the touch both soothing and controlling as he pushes Sirius back from you. “Let’s just let her rest for a minute, yeah?” Sirius sputters in protest, but Remus moves in front of him, pressing his face into his boyfriends’ dark locks. You roll your eyes at the display, though a tiny part of you loves that your brother has someone who loves him this well. Once he quiets, Remus speaks in a low, soothing voice. “I know, I know, you won’t be deterred from your vengeance, but there’s time for that later. Let’s just calm down for now.” 

It’s a lovely prospect, but at that moment, the door opens to reveal Regulus and James, both looking somewhat ruffled. James stops short at seeing you all gathered in his dorm (Remus and Sirius, of course, have every right to be here, but you’d bet he and Reg were hoping for some privacy) and stands there blinking for a moment. Your twin’s blasé facade slips the moment he sees you with blood still crusted to your nostrils and tear tracks down your face. 

“What happened?” he asks, pushing past James and into the dorm. 

“She got into a fight,” Sirius says, outrage instantly rekindled, and Remus sighs in exasperated resignation, his work undone. “Someone said something about Moony, but she won’t tell who.” 

Now James looks upset too, eyes darting to Remus concernedly. “About Moony? When?” 

“Just now!” Sirius throws up his hands. “Ten minutes ago! Did either of you see anything?” 

James shakes his head, and despite Regulus’ blank expression, you catch the embarrassed shifting of his stance. “No,” James says, “we were, uh…we didn’t see anything.” 

“I bet I know who it was though,” Regulus offers, that traitorous scum. He’s just throwing you under the bus to take the heat off himself. 

It works; Sirius perks up. “Yeah? Who?”

“It doesn’t matter who,” you say, but Sirius cuts you off, facing your twin. 

“Who?” he asks. 

“It was the guy you were arguing with yesterday too, right?” Reg glances at you for confirmation, and you glare at him. Don’t you dare, your look says, but he nods and turns back to Sirius. “He’s your year, the one you guys call Sni—”

“Reg and James were coming in here to have sex!” you blurt. 

It’s a wonder Sirius doesn’t get whiplash from how fast he turns around. “What?” 

You nod, unable to feel guilty as Regulus gives you an appalled look from behind your older brother. “Mhm,” you say. “Their hair is all messed up, and look—their lips are swollen. Plus, they were surprised we were in here.” 

You do feel a tiny bit bad for James, whose dark skin blanches when Sirius turns on him. “James Potter, did you come in here to defile my brother?” 

James looks to Remus for help, but his friend only turns his palms up like Sorry, what can you do?. After a second, Regulus steps closer to him.

“Sirius, we—”

“Don’t touch him,” Sirius practically retches. He shakes his head, grabbing Regulus by the arm and all but dragging him from the room. “Alright, listen. You are going to tell me who was talking shit about Remus, and then we’re going to have an entirely separate conversation about boundaries.” He casts a noxious look back at James. “And I’ll deal with you later!” 

[xmalereader]

Simon Riley x High Ranking! Male Reader

☆ — MASTERLIST — ☆

Requested: Could I request a Ghost x male reader story. Male reader is also in the Task Force 141 as a high ranking officer. He never goes out on the field with the others. Ghost and male reader know each other for a long time and are together. (You can decide if they are married , etc). So reader is very shy and has an innocent and introverted aura. (Wears glasses, barely talks etc.) That’s also why they all were surprised when they found out that Ghost and Reader are together, because Ghost is… well Ghost. So, the reader defects to Makarov and because of the reader Makarov succeeds. So the 141 ‘hates’ reader and sees him as a traitor. So Ghost has to decide, if he is loyal to the Task Force or his lover. [You can decide what happens of course and also if reader survives and etc. Just don’t make a twist were reader goes back to 141 or kills Makarov :) ]

WARNINGS/ CONTENT: Language, angst, hurt/no comfort, specific details to reader, Soap being soap, mentions of Makarov, MW3 mentions, slight fluff, more dialogue, betrayal, simon is ruined.

WC: 3.4K

TAGS: @dzeilan

NOTES: I may have over done it with this fix but at least I got it finished 😂 but anyways hope you enjoy this request! I tried my best to keep it angsty and tempted to make a second part but for now I’m putting it in the maybe drafts. I decided to end it in a semi cliff hanger!

Task Force 141 was monitored and by someone above Price. Not many people knew who it was but they didn’t hear stories about the man being ruthless to his team, always giving them the hardest missions and dealing with the most deadliest and dangerous people. Everyone thought figured that he was a cold blooded man who stayed cooped up in his own office, never leaving or joining the field like the rest of the others. That’s. how everyone saw him.

When in reality he was the total opposite which surprised the 141.

In reality he was quiet and only spoke with authority when meeting up with the team, but when alone he was very closed up and not very social with the others, keeping to himself and not getting close with the others. Y/n had heard the gossip floating around about him and usually ignored it. He was a higher ranking than anyone else and could have easily found a way to stop the murmuring, but he wasn’t that power drunk to do something stupid.

Only his team knew what he was really like, he’s spent enough time with Price that he’s warmed up to the captain, always addressing him as ‘sir’ each time they meet only for Y/n to remind Price that he doesn’t need to call him that whenever they were alone and considered the man as a friend. Price was actually the one who approached him about building a team of his own, wanting his approval and guidance.

Y/n was surprised by this and intrigued by what he had in mind. When Price showed him the files of the people he wanted in his team, he can’t help but hide his small grin when his eyes land on a familiar name, finding it funny that he would be the boss to his own deadly boyfriend that everyone feared, wearing that scary mask that only made his silence much more deadly and intimidating for others.

He had told Price that he wanted to review the files first before giving an official approval, getting the time that he needed to review each soldier that he chose and memorizing every little thing about them and finding them impressive by the second. It didn’t take long for him to approval Price’s team and granting the man permission to gather them up and move on with a mission regarding Hassan during that time.

As much as Y/n hated being out in public and in front of others he had no choice but to be present during the time that Hassan was terrorizing the world. Many other soldiers had a chance to finally see who the scary man was only to grow confused when they saw him for the first time, wearing glasses while he squints at some paper work and maps, trying to figure out Hassans next location or if could find any other information regarding the man.

He would stay up all day and night looking for anything to help him, cooping himself up in his office with papers scattered around and computer opened as he did his own research. How he received a high ranking title he will never know, but his skills brought him this far.

Those quiet nights when everyone is sleeping a shadow creeps inside his own room, hovering over him from where he sat. He can feel their presence and doesn’t move his eyes from the computer. “If you are here to force me into bed, then I will have to decline.” He speaks up, hearing a familiar chuckle and tilts his head back to find Simon standing over him, hands on the back of his chair as he wore that skull mask over his face, gear gone and leaving him in black clothing and a jacket.

“You’ve been working day and night with no sleep.”

“How do you know I haven’t slept?” Y/n raised a brow and lowers his head to focus back on his computer screen only for Simon to place his fingers around his neck, using his index finger to tilt his head back in a gentle manner as he stares down at the man.

“You have bags under your eyes.” He moves his fingers up his cheek and grazed his finger under his glasses near his eye, noticing the lack of sleep from his own lover. “You know I can’t sleep.”

Simon lets him go and sighs as he watched his lover focus back on his work and moving maps around as Simon watched him from behind. “You won’t lose anything if you sleep.”

“But Hassan—“

“Is out of sight. For now.” Simon cuts in, using his own authority voice on his lover in order to get some sense into him. The two have been dating for about a year now, keeping it on the down low and preventing anyone from finding out. Y/n over ranked Simon and doesn’t know how the others would react when finding out that he’s dating their deadly weapon. He knows that Simon cares for him and his health and wants to make sure that he at least gets some rest.

“Fine…” He mumbled out and with that Simon reaches over to close his computer the room grows dim and the only light shinning through the window is the moonlight. “Time for bed.”

“I’m not a kid.”

“You sure act like one.” Said Simon, chuckling at his own words which makes Y/n roll his eyes and cracks a tired smile. He gets off his chair and follows Simon to bed as the other soldier helps him out by removing his glasses first and setting them on the desk with the rest of his stuff and gets him into bed.

These nights are special to them since its the only time that they are able to spend time together without getting caught, having to sneak around like high school teenagers in order to avoid any trouble, but sooner or later they’d have to let the rest of their team know. As he snuggled up against Simon he lets out a deep sigh, feeling exhausted from all the work his mind was all over the place thinking about the mission and the things that could be happening without their knowledge, but they had no ability into knowing it.

“Stop thinking.”

“Can’t help it.” Y/n mumbled out in the dead of night.

The silence of the base was killing him and he hated it. “Your thoughts are loud.”

“You telling me that you can read minds?” Y/n raised a brow at Simon while chuckling. “If I could read minds I would have gotten to Hassan by now.” He did have a point.

Y/n lies his head on Simons chest and taps his fingers against his stomach as he thinks. “I just worry for everyone and I’d feel guilty it something happened to you and everyone else.” When Y/n received such a high ranking he didn’t expect the amount of stress to come with it since he was in charge of his own team and deciding the fate of the mission. When he got his first team he had to take multiple risks, almost costing him the lives of his own soldiers which devastated him.

There were times that he wanted to leave his rank to get rid of the guilt that he felt only to learn that he couldn't’ always save everyone even if he tried.

“Not everyone can be saved, Y/n. It takes one life to save millions.”

But it also takes one mistake to risk millions.

After last nights reassurance, Y/n is able to work a lot better all thanks to Simon in forcing him to sleep. Tracking their target was getting easier, finding the locations and sending in the proper help in order to get rid of the missiles that were lost. It wasn’t until Shepherds betrayal that they were separated.

Y/n had lost communication with his team and Simon, stuck back in base where the shadow company was taking over Alejandro’s people. He caught on quickly when chaos erupted in base, collecting his things quickly and hiding them in the vents and getting his own gun ready when facing the shadow company.

Even though Y/n looked like an innocent man due to how quiet he is around others he was also deadly when others were in danger getting through the halls and gunning down anyone who came after him, not hesitating to fight back as he sneaks around the halls and onto the second floor where he makes his escape, he uses one of the shadow companies uniforms to get through the base without being noticed, making it through the gates and towards their radio station.

He uses it to communicate with the rest of his team, checking up on them and hoping that they are still alive. His anxiety spiked when he doesn’t get a response fearing the worst has happened to Simon, fearing that he’s lost the one person he loved. He wasn’t one for crying, but the lack of response was bringing him to tears, close to giving up and heading back down to hunt Graves down.

“Are you crying?”

Y/n gasps, turning around quickly with his gun out when coming face to face with Soap. “Soap.” He sighs in relief to see him alive as he lowers his gun, ready to scold the man only to see Simon climbing over the wall along with Rudy. His eyes widen when the land on Simon. “Simon…” He shoves Soap aside who's left flabbergasted and makes a beeline towards Simon, not hesitating to hug the man and sniffling against his shoulder. “You dumb bastard, why didn’t you answer? I thought you were dead!” He was mad at Simon for making him worry.

Simon smiles under his mask and warps his own arms around Y/n, relieved to see him too. “We got caught up trying to get here.” He responds back, pulling away and cup his cheeks and cleans his tears away unaware of the audience.

“Uh, what the hell is going on?” Soap finally decides to speak up by this shocking discovery.

It wasn’t until after they rescued Alejandro that Y/n tells his team about his and Simons relationship when regrouping. He expected Soap to be shocked by the news while Gaz and Price technically already knew about the relationship but never said anything about it until further confirmed. Y/n couldn’t be happier to have them.

“So what do we do about Graves?”

Everyone turns to look at Y/n waiting for him to make the final call only for Y/n to surprise everyone by his response.

“Do whatever you want.”

He lets Price take the lead on this one, coming up with plans to get rid of Graves and his men after what he did to them. Y/n remains at the safe house along with the others, guiding them through the coms where he was safer and giving out clear orders on Graves location when they all went back to base.

The entire day was hectic, taking down Graves and Hassan on the same day and recovering the last missile gaining a victory. Everyone was finally able to relax and head back home to rest before being called out to another mission. Things were fine until they weren’t.

After a year since their last mission, Y/n had spent most of his time at base, helping out with the simple things and helping Price out as always. Until he received anonymous messages through his private number the only one who knew his number was Simon along with Price and the others and no one else. He received the text the day that Simon went out with the others for a drink, staying back home to relax for a bit until eh got that message.

He was about to ignore it until private information about him and his entire team was sent to him, threatening him to listen or else his friends faced the consequences. Y/n would have taken action to find out who was messaging him and take them down quickly only to realize that this person knew far more than anyone about him and Simon. He was forced to keep these message hidden from Simon if he wanted to prevent a lose.

Y/n knew that Simon was smart and would slowly grow suspicious by his constant phone checking and the amount of times that he’d flinch out of fear when receiving those messages. Simon wasn’t one to jump to conclusions, especially with his lover but the amount of time that he kept his distance was slowly irritating him.

Simon was able to corner him in his office when back at base after finding out about Makarovs escape. “Somethings wrong.” He points out, getting Y/n’s attention as he leans back against the wall that he’s caged in. “Nothings wrong.” Y/n couldn’t allow Simon to know that was responsible for Makarovs escape at the prison.

“You’ve been distant and quiet.”

“I’m always quiet.”

“Not this quiet.” Simon knew him well enough to see the smallest changes.

Y/n’s anxiety grows by the second as Simon looks him dead in the eyes. “I’m worried about Makarov.” He blurts out, trying to throw Simon off from his real worry. “The most dangerous man escaped and we can be facing something far bigger and I’m worried on what we have planned.” He continues on, noticing how Simon finally relaxes when getting an answer even though it wasn’t the truth.

“Will get him and stop him before anything else happens.”

“And if we can’t?” Y/n wants to tell Simon the truth, but he can’t risk losing him. “We will.” He feels his gloved fingers caress his cheek as a way of soothing his worries.

“Now lets figure out how to take down Makarov.”

Y/n spent the last hour listening to Price form out the plan, memorizing every little detail in order to report it back to Makarov. It took him some time to figure out that the man he’s been communicating with was none other than Makarov, threatening him and his friends for information about their plans to stopping him. As guilty as he felt doing this behind their backs, behind Simon’s back he had no choice but to do it.

After their meet up he’d find a way to communicate with the Russian man sending him everything he knew about their plans only to get a response back from with a notification of millions of dollars being transferred to his banking account. That pushes him over the edge, his anger getting to him as he throws his phone against the wall, smashing it into pieces as he groans in anger. He was doing this to save his friends not for money and yet Makarov goes and pushes all the right buttons.

Because of Makarov the transfer was shown under the list of information trading. When Simon and Soap were sent to interrogate Milena about Makarovs next location they were expecting themselves to find some answers only to come up with more questions when Y/n’s name shows up on the list.

Soap is the first to point it out to Simon when it shows up on the computer. The two refuse to believe that Y/n had been communicating with Makarov only for Milena to laugh at the two.

“Why do you think Makarov isn’t here? It’s all thanks to your little birdie on the inside.” Her own lips form a mischievous grin when Soap glanced over to Simon who remained quiet under his mask, clearly processing everything and denying the fact that his own lover would turn their backs on them. On him.

“You’re wrong.”

Milena raised a brow as she crossed her arms. “Am I?’ She questions. “He told Makarov that you were coming for him, told him about the plans and the bombings and now he knows about the stations.”

Simon stops himself from killing the women, not believing a word she’s saying only to think back to their previous failed missions. Every time they were close to getting Makarov he always escaped them clearly finding a way around the problem as if he knew about them. Simon left the island fuming, anger boiling inside of him as they flew back to Makarovs last destination a base hidden in the train station.

Soap can tell that Simon isn’t happy about the discovery of Y/n betraying them and working for Makarov. He knows not to ask about it since the man was already too upset to even talk about it and focused on their arrival. Simon communicated with Price and Gaz about the location and to meet them there.

Getting down to the station was chaos due to Makarovs soldiers trying to kill them resulting into him and his team getting separated and laving Simon on his own as he takes down as many soldiers as he can. From the corner of his eyes he spots Makarov getting through the station. “Makarov spotted.” He speaks through his coms, alerting the rest of his team.

“Take the shot!” He hears Price shout from the other end getting permission to kill Makarov.

Before Simon could take the shot he’s shoved to the side when the other side of the station explodes, ruble collapsing around him as he groans and leans back against a wall. His ears are ringing by how loud the explosive was and the amount of shouting he hears through his coms is ignored as he tries to get up, feeling pain shot up from his arm makes him wince, realizing that he’s injured. The place is merely collapsing and knows that he has to get out of the station before its to late.

As he gets up from the ground he hears a giant grown across from him, holding his gun up as his eyes land on one of Makarovs soldiers. He was to pissed off to care about their injures and cocks his gun only to stop when the soldier coughs harshly, reaching up to remove their own helmet and mask, revealing Y/n’s face.

Simon froze when his eyes land on him.

Y/n groans and placed a hand over his abdomen where he feels pain and turns to his side, trying to get up only to gasp when he hears the sound of a gun cocking, looking over his shoulder to face Simon.

The two are frozen in place unable to move by the realization in their faces. Y/n wants to speak up to defend himself from everything but knows that he can’t not after what he’s done. He slowly moves to stand, hand still on his abdomen as he keeps his eyes on Simon and a hand out in surrender.

“Simon…”

“Don’t.” Simons voice is harsh, hand tightening around his gun.

Y/n expects that tone as he shuts his own mouth. It wasn’t until rumbling is heard, the walls around them were about to collapse and they had to get out before it was to late for them. “The place is going to collapse we have to go.” Y/n tries to convince Simon to follow him out of the subway station if they didn’t want to get crushed.

“Simon.”

“Why?” Simon finally speaks up. “Why should I go anywhere with you?”

Y/n swallows nervously. “Look I can explain once we get out of here.” He takes a step forward to try and pry the gun from Simon only to freeze when Simon holds it up, keeping it pointed at him. Y/n knows that Simon won’t kill him if he wanted to he would have already.

“You were helping Makarov you helped him escape you helped him do all of this.” Simon nods at their surroundings the place was full of faint screams of panic from the citizens and the sound of his teammates voices were close by as they shouted for Simon. The place was falling apart all because of Makarov.

Y/n’s breath was picking up, grown into panic as he quickly tries to explain himself. “I didn’t know it was Makarov he was going to kill you—I didn’t have a choice—!”

“How long have you been lying to me?”

His breath hitched when hearing Simon’s words, unable to respond back as he opens and closes his mouth, words caught in his throat. He’s been helping Makarov since the beginning of everything and telling Simon wouldn’t change his mind about him.

Not matter what he says or what he tries it wouldn’t work. He’s broken the trust between them the trust that Simon gave him only to see it crumble away. Y/n takes a cautious step forward, ready to apologize for his mistakes only for the place to crumble, giving them both the time to escape. Only this time they don’t escape together.

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ Once More, With Feeling ♡

♡ Pairing: poly!hyunlix x gn!reader

♡ Genre: fluff/angst

♡ Summary: Unable to sleep after a major argument leads to a breakup, you return to a place that's close to your heart to find comfort and end up with something much more special.

♡ Word Count: 1.4k-ish

♡ Warnings: None.

♡ A/N: I was listening to dreamy low-fi indie music and got in my feelings so, like, come get in them with meeee.

It’s 3:23am and you can’t sleep. Two tablets of melatonin, three cups of chamomile tea, and an endless loop of soothing rain sounds have done nothing to change that. Your heart aches, it’s unbearable, and there’s not a single thing you can do about it. Rolling onto your back, you rip the covers off, only now realizing how much you’ve been sweating from the anxiety of cycling through last night’s events over and over in your head.

None of this feels real, losing Felix and Hyunjin, the ones you love the most. Maybe it was a bad idea from the start, the three of you being together. Maybe you weren’t as well equipped to keep them both happy as you thought. Every “maybe” hangs over you as if it’s written in glow-in-the-dark paint on the ceiling, taunting you from the void. Does any of it even matter now? Whatever it was that led to the eventual downfall of your relationship, the argument that ended it all, you can’t go back and fix it.

Even still, your heart longs for the possibility that you’ll be together again someday. You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. It could be wishful thinking, the musings of a hopeless romantic. What does it hurt to wish, you figure, if that’s all you have? You take a long, deep breath in, allowing your breath to slowly flow back out as you squeeze your eyes shut. If I lay here long enough I’m bound to fall asleep. Right?

“Fuck it” you groan, popping up out of bed and throwing on your fuzzy bunny slippers. Felix thought it’d be cute if the three of you got matching pairs. You hate how right he was. You’ve been fighting tooth and nail with yourself all night not to drive down to the pier. For years it’s been the destination of endless late-night drives. It’s where you snuck away together when the rest of the world felt like it was too much. Your memories of being there, as much as they might sting, are the dearest things to you and you need to drown yourself in them now more than ever.

So, before you know it, you’re headed out the door pulling a hoodie over your head, car keys in hand, desperately seeking solace in nostalgia. It’s a long, lonely ride to the pier. The combination of empty streets and too-long traffic lights gives you the sense that the world has come to a screeching halt. Whether it has or not for everyone else, it has for you. The light flashes neon green, bringing you back down to earth just as you begin to drift away, and you’re making the right turn that takes you to your usual parking spot. 

Turning the car off, you take a moment to sit and inspect the other cars around you. There are a few on your side, a dozen more on the other, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone out here. Probably all people who live nearby. Confident that you’re alone, the wall you’ve put up comes crumbling down, tears falling down your cheek faster than you can wipe them away. Why am I doing this to myself? You shake your body in what would look to a passerby like a cute, albeit strange, dance of sorts in hopes that some of the emotions overwhelming you will fall away like leaves.

Get it together. Summoning all of the courage you have, you make your way to the stairs leading up to the pier. You almost slip on the gritty, sand-coated steps, but manage to make it to the top without breaking your neck. As you venture forward you already hear the waves crashing to shore. You feel the stars watching you, their gaze intense and overwhelming. Only it’s not their gaze at all. There’s someone at the end of the pier staring back at you, teary-eyed and stunned. That intensity, that overwhelming emotion, it’s his.

Felix? No, no, no. You turn on your heels, racing back to the car before you lose it completely. “Wait!” he yells, running after you. Felix hadn’t expected to see you here either. He’d typed a million text messages asking you to come but he’d deleted all of them, thinking you wouldn’t want to see him with everything being so fresh. He’s been wishing too, as much as you have, and he can’t let this moment slip away. Your car door’s halfway open when he reaches you, your fingers held tightly around the handle.

“Can we talk?” he asks, his hushed voice skimming your neck as he pushes the door closed. You don’t fight him. You don’t want to. The feeling of his chest against your back, the wind blowing his hair so that it tickles your cheek, makes you want to melt into him. Turning to face him, melting is the first thing you do, straight into his arms. He doesn’t hesitate to hold you tight to him, the tension soothed by the simple act of having you near him again. “I’m really sorry” you weep, “I should’ve seen that you weren’t happy.” 

Felix shushes you, his fingers stroking your neck, “Stop, don’t say that. I was happy. Me and Hyunjin…working with each other, we just get frustrated sometimes and it wasn’t supposed to come home but it did. I should be sorry” “What? No invite to the family reunion?” you hear Hyunjin ask and you’re positive that you’re hallucinating. But when you look up he’s standing there staring at the two of you with an expression you can’t quite make out. “I…no…we didn’t…” Felix stutters but Hyunjin’s already walking away, heading for the edge of the pier, ignoring you like you’re strangers.

You’re so much more than that and he knows it. Enough time hasn’t passed for him to erase what you shared from his mind. Even if he could, he wouldn't. Why else would he be here? Hyunjin shoves his hands in his pockets, stopping to make a half-turn toward you. “If I admit I’m an asshole will you come with me?” “I mean, we already know you’re an asshole so…no” Felix teases, getting a laugh out of both of you. “What if I say I’m sorry and that I’d really like to not be alone…to be with you two?” A long stretch of silence separates his question and your answer.

“Wait up,” you smile, taking Felix’s hand and dragging him along with you to catch up to Hyunjin. Meeting him at the center of the pier, you take his hand too and the three of you walk to the edge together. Any other time the minutes would fly by, all of the laughter and kisses making hours feel like minutes. But, in the presence of lingering pain, minutes feel like hours. “It’s not the same,” Hyunjin sighs, picking at his already chipped nail polish and flicking it into the sea. You want to deny it but you can’t. “No, it’s not.” Felix sits down, crossing his legs as he frustratingly tousles his hair, “So that’s it, then? We’re done?” 

You take a seat beside him on the ground, sick to your stomach at the thought, “I mean, is that what you want?” “Of course not. It’s never what I wanted. We are what I want.” You turn to Hyunjin and he’s already sitting down on the other side of you, his head resting on your shoulder. “Me too” he yawns, “But what about you? It doesn’t matter what we want if you don’t—” “I do. I always will.” Their faces brighten up, even in the midst of their exhaustion. Felix takes his jacket off, gathers it in a little bundle in your lap, and lays down. “Maybe it shouldn’t feel the same this time,” he muses, “We should make it better.”

You pet Felix’s hair, “I’d like that.” Hyunjin nuzzles up closer to you, seconds from falling asleep, “Better sounds nice.” Stroking Hyunjin’s cheek, you lean into him too, every sleep aid you tried kicking in at once. Suddenly the world feels like it’s moving again, bursting with life even in the dead of night.

You’ve always liked to think that when you truly love someone you’ll find each other no matter what, in this life or the next. How beautiful it is that it turned out to be this one after all.

[shattersstar]

absolutely NEED "hugging and absentmindedly kissing their neck, resulting in mortification for one of them" with jason todd PLEASE (when you have the chance/motivation) <3

drawstring

pairing: college!au jason todd x reader

prompt: friends to lovers - hugging and absentmindedly kissing their neck, resulting in mortification for one of them

word count: 5.5k

warnings: alcohol/smoking mention aka usual college shenanigans, slow burn(?), lil angsty, sports lmao

a/n: writing abt jason in college (here) has done smth to me bc this turned into quite the project (in a good way ofc) and i picked basketball bc it’s the only sport i know enough abt and jason’s tall so it makes sense shhh (also baby boys a centre <3) comments & feedback are always appreciated!

—

shot at the night series.

pt. two - the hellcat spangled shalalala

—

your name is a drawstring laced around my neck, tighter with every breath.

You had approached him first, after your prof caught you off guard with an outlandish take. You glanced over to Jason with your confused and slightly mortified eyes at the rather dated opinion, unable to stop the grin from spreading over your face as you both chuckled a little too loudly. A few people shot looks your way, and you mouthed an apology to him before you both turned back to your notes. Jason thought that had been it, sure you two always sat a chair away from each other and were in the same tutorial and you always smelled so good when he’d walk by, but you were a passing figure in Jason’s life.

Or you were supposed to be until you stopped him at the door, fingers darting out to brush his forearm before you dropped your hand to your side. You offered an apologetic smile while Jason stared at you a little wide eyed.

“Hey, sorry. I just, I dunno. Anyway we were in the same tutorial yeah? And I thought I’d introduce myself. In case we need notes or help or something.” You said, giving him your name while Jason nodded slowly.

A moment of silence passed, you blinked up at him and Jason laughed, “Oh, uh I’m Jason, and yeah sure.”

“Yeah sure? You don’t have to agree if—“

“No—I didn’t mean it like that,” He interrupted with wild urgency before composing himself, “It’s nice to meet you and yeah that’d be great. Thanks.” Jason offered you a grin and your furrowed brows settled.

“Okay, well here’s my number. See ya around Jason!” You beamed at him like you hadn’t been accusing him moments ago, slipping out the door and off the whatever class you had next. He glanced down at the ripped piece of paper with your number. Who gives out their number like this anymore? He thought to himself, shoving the piece of paper into his pocket and ignoring how much he liked the way you said his name.

~

It was a steady friendship after that, you liked having someone outside your usual circle, someone to help with class and Jason liked you. He knew after a few weeks of consistently hanging out, usually in the library or empty lecture halls, but sometimes in your dorms. Sitting side by side in your bed or sprawled out on the floor in Jason’s single room were moments seared into his brain. Private and quiet in those small spaces, especially in your shared bedroom, that demanded close proximity. Maybe he should have put the pieces together then, fully coming to terms with his onslaught of feelings for you, but it took a boring day in the library for Jason to fully clue in.

You were sharing a booth and Jason was letting you copy his notes from the lecture you missed last week. You were close, typing with silent intent while Jason took in your side profile. The soft curve of your cheek, your lashes sweeping each time you glanced between screens and lips plump and wet from your tongue running over them out of habit. Jason knew he was staring, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

When that crossed Jason’s mind, something tight bit into his chest as he realized no one admired their friends like that. He had always thought you were cute, and a nice presence to be around, but that warm feeling you fostered in his chest felt different—heavier when you looked up at him.

“Done!” You chimed, breaking Jason from his realization with your sweet voice. “Thanks again. I might need help studying this chapter when the final comes up but I should be good for now.” You closed your laptop, shuffling your books into your bag and letting Jason know your time together was coming to an end. He felt selfish for wanting more time with you, but you had already told him when you flopped down that you wouldn’t be able to stay long. Jason had tried not to appear annoyed then, but couldn’t care less now as he closed his laptop with a bit too much force. It garnered your attention as you glanced over at him with concern, “All good?”

Okay maybe he did care.

“Uh, yeah, yeah.” Jason nodded absentmindedly and hated how nervous you made him. How could he not see it before, the way words seemed to stick to the roof of his mouth and coherent thoughts flew out the window each time you two studied together. How it got worse when you were close, leaning into him or slapping his arm when he was criticizing one of your papers.

“Oookay,” You said it like you didn’t believe him before turning to face him fully, “One of my friend’s boyfriend or something works at a bar so my friends and I are going there tonight if you wanna join. I know its not really our thing, but we didn’t get to hang out today so.”

Our thing. Jason liked how that sounded, the implication of it. Like time spent together and even Jason himself was your own private little thing, it was special and not to be shared. It was a dangerous way to think of your friendship—of love—but Jason burned hotter at the thought regardless. And with you being scorned by your lack of time together as well, it all made something wicked pour into Jason’s chest as he a grin lit up his face. The guilt of having to cancel on Roy vanished immediately as he nodded.

“Yeah, just text me the details.”

You smiled wide, arms thrown around his shoulders as you hugged Jason for the first time before leaving him breathless amongst the shelves of books.

~

Jason almost pussied out, a block away from the bar and filled with dread. He questioned why he had agreed when this was the first time you two would be together outside the pretense of school work, on top of coming to terms with his feelings for you. And while studying together never meant solely talking about school, you two chatted about growing up in Gotham and dealing with being away from home. You both loved food and had a habit of showing each other what dishes you made the night before. You were also fond of baking when you visited friends' apartments, and would him banana bread or lemon squares on top of a coffee some days. You had asked his drink order the first time you two had hung out, and would always text him when you were running late if he wanted anything.

He would always say no and you would get him a drink anyways. “It’s my late tax.” You shrugged once, leaving him a bit speechless at how nonchalant your ability to care was.

Relishing in those moments made Jason breathe a bit easier, stuffing his hands into his leather jacket’s pockets and continuing down the street lamp lit road. He could hear muffled chatter and music playing as he neared, and despite wanting to sneak in without detection, you were outside sharing a cigarette with a friend and laughing amongst yourselves. You spotted Jason over your friend’s shoulder, immediately abandoning your conversation in favour of greeting him. Pride boasted in his chest, but it was quickly overcame by affection as you half ran, half drunk waddled over, arms wrapping around his waist before he could even breathe out a hello.

“I’m so happy you showed up.” You muttered into his jacket, pulling away just as Jason went to wrap his arms around you. You blinked up at him in the dopey sort of way, and it made him smile.

“You been here a while?” He asked, your brows pulling together.

“Are you saying I appear intoxicated Jason?” You teased, his name always sounding so right when you said it, especially now. Low and teasing, heavy with whatever you had drank.

“Depends, you always use big words when you’re drunk?” He jutted his chin at you, calmness flowing into his chest. Jason felt stupid for being worried, when he wasn’t so caught up in how you made him feel, you brought an ease out of him. A playfulness that sometimes left him tripped up and face hot, but you never seemed to notice.

“Pfft, you haven’t even heard the big words I know Mr. Literature Major.” He rolled his eyes, as you poked his chest. Your name was called before he could think of a response, both of you turning your attention towards the bar.

“Oh you can finish it, it's fine.” You waved your hand at your friend holding your smoke, more focused on Jason as you slipped beside him. You linked arms, leaning your weight into him as you headed towards the entrance. “Everyone’s inside, sorry if I reek of smoke.”

“I don’t mind.” He murmured, looking down at you and wondering how easy it would be to press a kiss to the top of your head. To lean over and—

“Oh by the way—“ Your voice pulled Jason from his thoughts, and he realized he was being introduced to the friend you were smoking with. He’d be hard pressed to remember her name, but she seemed nice enough. Jason had to force himself to be present as your arm slipped from his, and a chorus of voices greeted the two of you. You introduced everyone first, he was normally good with names and faces, in seas of people or gatherings like this, but Jason felt otherworldly. The only presence he felt grounded to was you, sitting next to him with one of your legs crossed over the other, calf brushing his shin as you told everyone how you two met.

“Wait—don’t you play for the basketball team?” One of your guy friends suddenly asked, and for some reason Jason immediately looked to you, to find you staring right back at him with a confused expression.

“Oh yeah, I’m starting this season—“

You slapped his arm with a shocked chuckled, “You have never told me that! What the hell!” You yelled, not louder than the chatter filling the bar as no one even looked your way. Everyone laughed as he shrugged, running his fingers through his wavy locks while you eyed him.

“Yeah I remember seeing a post with you, I think I remembered your hair.” Your friend continued, making you laugh softly. The stark white strands at the front that fell into his eyes sat against the raven black of the rest of Jason’s hair. You had asked him once if he dyed it like that, and Jason only shook his head no, continuing with the chapter like no follow up would be needed. It was perhaps why your hand found his, the one resting on his thigh underneath the table.

Your fingers curled around his hand and you let the conversation drift onto Jason’s basketball career. You listened intently, your chair right next to his as he talked about playing in the public courts as a kid, and was on a real team for the first time in highschool. He didn’t think he’d go to school for a basketball scholarship, but it seemed like the right time when he was offered. And while it was mostly true, Jason skipped over some of the more gruesome details of his life you had gotten pieces of, you knew he lived on the streets before he was adopted, but Jason never spoke of his adoptive father. You didn’t even have a name for the man who had given him a chance at life, but you were never one to push. You knew when to ask and when not too, you seemed to understand that Jason’s temperament existed on a razor sharp line, and walked it effortlessly.

“I feel kinda dumb because who is friends with someone this goddamn tall and doesn’t ask if they play basketball or volleyball even.” You snorted at one point, making Jason laugh. You let your hand fall from his then, pushing yourself up to get another drink. A few friends requested shots and you asked Jason if he wanted anything, but he shook his head no. He almost offered to go with you, but you were gone before he had the chance. He was left alone to be interrogated more about his life, which he didn’t mind, he was used to it.

It came with being a collegiate level athlete and one of the sons of Gotham’s favourite billionaire, even if most people his age didn’t know that. But it was always the same shit, especially college guys who loved to live some NBA fantasy through Jason though that wasn’t what he was striving for. Jason wanted his degree and if playing basketball helped him focus and work out everything he kept inside, then so be it. Jason never mentioned it to you because he had never seen himself as an athlete who has to go to school, but instead as a student with the perk of playing a sport he enjoyed. He felt a bit wrong for not sharing that side of his life with you, for wanting you to know him and what he loved as much as he wanted to know that about you.

It would be something to dwell on later as you returned with your friends' drinks, and on your second trip you brought a drink for yourself and another beer for Jason. You only sent him a smile as you set it down, falling back into the conversation as the night rolled on. Jason did his best to stay attentive, but you all were a little drunk and tripping over words by a certain point. Jason felt warm and content next to you, unsure how many drinks you two had ended up getting for another, but appreciating how you felt beside him regardless.

“I’m gonna go smoke and then wander my ass home.” You declared, leaving a few bills on the table which Jason immediately scooped back up.

“I got ours.” He said, pushing himself up a little too fast that his chair tipped backwards. You giggled a little unceremoniously at the sight before his words hit your ears. You began to object, but Jason had already slunk to the bar while your friends picked his chair, and closed out whatever tab you had. He was sure he ended up paying for a few of your friends' drinks too, but didn’t have the capacity to care. You were outside by the time he was back, bidding goodbye to your friends before joining you in the chilly air. “Are you actually walking home?” Jason asked, stealing your cigarette from between your fingers while you pouted.

“No, I ordered an uber. It's not coming for like ten minutes but I wanted air.” You said, voice sleepy with words falling into another.

“I’ll wait with you.”

“You can uber with me, if you want.” You offered and Jason considered it. It would mean more time alone with you, but he wasn’t sure he could keep it up anymore. With alcohol heavy in his bones and nicotine burning his throat, Jason didn’t know if he could keep it hidden anymore. Keep his feelings at bay when all his inhibitions were down and telling him not to. It was too dangerous, too risky so he shook his head no reluctantly.

“I could use the air too.” You nodded as he passed back your smoke, the hum from the bar and citylife filled the air before you looked down at your phone.

You stared unmoved for a moment, then your eyes met Jason’s. Green and heavy with want, he knew it was obvious. And either you were oblivious or didn’t care as you looked at him unfazed. Drunk and tired, but nothing heavy lurked in your gaze. It made his mouth go sour, but your voice broke any annoyance from flowering.

“Hey, when’s your next game?” You asked, swaying on your feet every so faintly.

“Uh, next Friday I think. Why?” Jason sounded a bit harsher than he meant, but you only laughed.

“Is it cool if I come watch?”

“Yeah it’s not like I can’t stop you,” You frowned at that and Jason was ready to blame the alcohol, “Sorry, I meant I'd like it if you came. My friend Roy, you met him last time he was visiting, is here again and gonna go on Friday if you wanna go with him.”

“Yeah! That’d be great!” You closed the space between you two and pulled Jason into a hug. Your arms wound around his shoulders this time, pulling him down to your level as you stood on your tippy toes. He wasted no time wrapping his strong arms around you, hands splayed on your back as his nose brushed the juncture where your shoulder and neck met. You smelled as good as you always did, a bit like liquor and sweat too, but still that summery scented warmth. It was oceanic and sweet, like that earthy natural sweetness. The kind from berries and sap, that stick to your tongue and remind you of hot endless days.

And maybe Jason was drunk and reading too much romantic poetry recently for one of his courses, or maybe he just wanted to let himself go, to feel whatever you made him feel tenfold with no hesitation. Jason let his head tilt forward, lips brushing the side of your neck before he placed a soft, open mouth kiss next to where your perfume was the strongest. Where it enveloped his senses and made him forget the reality of his life and your friendship. His tongue darted out to brush where his lips had met your skin when your fingers clutched his shoulders and pushed your bodies apart.

You stared at him a little wide eyed, his long arms still able to breach the distance and distantly holding onto your waist before the car pulling up next to you snapped Jason to reality as his grasp fell from you. Regret filled Jason instantly, words unable to form as his tongue ran across his bottom lip. You followed the action with your eyes, arms hugged around your chest as you took another step back.

“I’ll see you in class next week okay?” You said, expression softening as Jason forced a smile and nod like he hadn’t just ruined everything you two had built. You waved before ducking into the car, and vanishing into the night. Jason started walking home immediately, eyes focused on the pavement and how his steps fell on after another until he was home. He didn’t even change before rolling into bed, tossing off his hoodie and kicking off his boots before letting the promise of sleep and forgetting overtake him.

Jason thought he would wake up in a better mood, a less angry one.

He was wrong.

~

though I probably deserve this noose, there's one thing I'd like to adduce…just know I never resented you.

Jason knew he was being childish, probably handling it in the worst way, but he decided to take a cue from your reaction to his kiss, and was avoiding you. The few times you crossed paths on campus, he would send you a quick wave or fake smile before veering off in whatever direction was furthest from you. You managed to trap him in one conversation, asking if you still were on to study after class. “Uh sure, works for me.” Jason fidgeted with his zipper before bidding you goodbye and spinning out of the building he needed to be in.

He was also texting you less, keeping his phone in his bag most of the day and replying half heartedly. He was sure you knew something was up—how could you not expect Jason to be awkward all things considered?

And if you were still clueless to his avoidance, Jason made it clear when he walked past the desk you two normally shared during lecture. You had looked up as he headed down the stairs dividing the lecture hall into three. Yet Jason kept his head forward, opting to sit on the left side of the theater and closer to the front. He could feel your gaze following him, and Jason only worked up the courage once to steal a glance in your direction to see you typing furiously.

His head snapped back to the front as he pretended to listen. Jason did try to pay attention, but guilt was slowly eating him whole. He was so grateful when the lecture finally ended, taking his time to pack up and relieved to see you had already left by the time Jason started heading to the exit. Or so he thought until you stood across from the doors, arms crossed over your chest, clearly unimpressed.

“We still on to study?” You asked, clipped. Jason was sure this was the first time he had actually seen you mad, and hated he was the cause of it.

“I have a last minute practice tonight.” He said and you scoffed. Basketball had never once gotten in the way of your friendship to the point you didn’t even know he was on the team.

“Sure, okay. Well have fun and see ya around Jason.” You rolled your eyes as you pushed off the wall, shaking your head as you brushed past him. His eyes fell closed, head tipping forward as he let out a hefty sigh. Broad chest expanding and falling as he blew out hot air.

“Fuck.” He muttered, running a hand over his face and heading to the gym until night had rolled in. He would’ve stayed longer, doing a few laps in the pool perhaps, until Jason remembered Roy was still in his dorm.

Jason knew he wasn’t only being a shitty friend to you, but he had abandoned Roy twice now during his visit. It was too much guilt for Jason to hold and he didn’t have the space for it as he headed back to his friend, praying Roy wasn’t too mad. And he wasn’t, instead sleeping with his head by the foot of Jason’s bed and limbs hanging off all sides.

It made Jason laugh, a lightness filling him for the first time today. His game was tomorrow and Roy would be there and maybe it would be enough.

~

You weren’t going to show, Jason was sure of it. Well, there was the outlier possibility you might, but no, logically you were pissed and not going to show up. Unless maybe to boo him. That made Jason chuckle, pulling off his headphones as he half listened to his coach and captains’ last minute pep talk. It wasn’t the most important game, losing wouldn’t drop the teams standing much, but winning would look good as hell.

That appealed enough to Jason who was rolling out his ankles before pushing to his feet, the black of his jersey contrasted the white long sleeve he had underneath. His hair had gotten long enough to sweep back into a small ponytail, the short strands falling forward and framing his face. He caught a glimpse of himself in one of the mirrors as everyone headed out of the lockeroom. Jason looked happy, it seemed like a foreign expression on his face, especially as of late. But the prospect of losing himself in a game always appealed to Jason and would soon became reality.

It was his needed escape, from all the chaos he had caused, but his peace came to halt when Jason searched for Roy in the sea of people and found you next to him. Roy had a conniving grin, so maybe he was a little mad at being abandoned and hearing Jason mope about you for the last few days.

One of Jason’s teammates slammed into his back as his sneakers squeaked to a stop.

“You good man?” He asked, placing a hand on Jason’s arm as he jogged past him. Jason nodded, following behind him and trying to focus on anything, but you. Of course you showed up, and didn’t even look mad, but excited.

Jason stared at the lines painted onto the ground, trying to push away the sudden anxiety looming in his stomach. He wanted to play well for you, he knew that much, but it was hard to think about anything else. Process the flow of the game while he knew you were watching. It wasn’t your fault, but Jason just couldn’t engage with you, not right now. He ignored both you and Roy the entire first half, not once sparing a glance in your direction, and opting to duck into the locker room when half time rolled through.

He normally would come chat, he knew Roy expected that much, but Jason just needed to play. To focus on rebounds and blocking and winning. It was simple, and with each second played he felt a bit easier. Like braving you once the break ended would be more bearable. But as Jason headed back onto the court, he was met with an empty seat. Roy was still there, looking rather unamused, but trying to push it down for Jason’s sake, while Jason stared helplessly.

You left, and he should have saw it coming, but it still hurt like hell. Jason played the second half well, mostly angry at himself for being an ass, and doing nothing to stop himself. Watching repeatedly from the outside as he fumbled every meaningful relationship if given the time. It made Jason sick, angry enough to be fouled out during the last few minutes, but his team won nonetheless.

The initial celebration seemed to pass in a haze, his teammates' voices flying over Jason’s head as he pushed his way through the crowd, wandering to where Roy sat with his arms crossed over his chest. “You played like a jackass near the end.” The redhead stated when Jason was in earshot.

“Playing how I feel I guess.” Jason shrugged, gaze flickering to the empty seat near to him.

Roy sighed, pushing himself up and slapping a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “At least you can admit. Now go be nice and shake hands and I’ll meet you at the afters, see if I can get your little crush to show up too.” Roy stated, making Jason chuckle as he nodded.

“Alright, and thanks man.”

“Anytime,” Roy grinned, letting Jason go before shouting, “Oh hey!”

He turned around as Roy held up his phone, “They asked for a play by play when they left, just so you know.” He said, a wide smile cracking over Jason’s face. You still cared, at least somewhat how he did, and maybe would show up (again) after all.

~

just know I never resented you, and I understand if you can't stand the sound or sight of my name.

Jason was in a sea of people, the usual spot for post game drinks overflowed, everyone in the celebrating mood it seemed. Jason tried to play along, and get lost in the fun, but was anxiously waiting for you and Roy. His gaze kept flitting to the door, half listening to conversations and participating even less. Jason ignored comments about how he played the last few minutes, sending tight smiles to the people who thought they had the right to joke about that stuff with him. They usually got the message after that, leaving him be until someone else decided to pull him into a conversation. The cycle was starting again as one of Jason’s captains called his name, but Roy’s hat flashed in Jason’s periphery and he didn’t even acknowledge the senior before turning towards the door.

“Outside.” Was all Roy said with a wink, patting Jason on the shoulder and slipping past him into the celebrations.

Jason wormed his way through the crowd, yanking open the front door and nearly colliding with you. You stepped back as Jason froze in the doorway.

“Uh Jay, I think people are tryna get by.” You said, nodding behind him. He glanced over his shoulder at the couple, and moved out of the way wordlessly as they dipped into the night. You slouched against the brick wall of the bar, and Jason headed towards you like a man compelled. He leaned into the wall, looking down at you as you sent him a smile. You were close, carrying the scent of smoke and that fucking perfume.

“Heard you fouled out.” You commented, making Jason chuckle.

“Yeah, a little too pissed to play nice.” He shrugged, toying with a string on his belt and pushing further into the wall, hoping the bricks would devour him.

“Is that how you normally play?”

“No, not unless I’m in my head.” You tensed at his reply, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Y’know we don’t have to talk about anything tonight, you should be celebrating anyway. We can play nice? For tonight?” You said after a moment, looking away from him while Jason continued to stare down at you.

“What?” He breathed.

“I just don’t think we need to focus on like, a drunk mistake right now. You guys won, let's just focus on that.” You shrugged, still looking towards the pavement while Jason’s jaw clenched.

Drunk mistake? Sure that was a way to describe it, but it was more than that. It was a revelation to the feelings Jason had been harboring, those same feelings he handled so poorly this last week and you wanted to forget it? Put it aside like you didn’t set Jason on fire from the inside out and were the one standing there with a fire extinguisher all at once. It wasn’t something he could just ignore anymore, not even for a few hours. It was why he had all, but abandoned you this week, more so than the embarrassment. And you chalked it up to a drunk mistake?

No.

He was silent for a while, long enough to beckon your gaze back to his as you turned to face him slightly. It appeared you weren’t getting out of this conversation tonight and neither was Jason.

Jason huffed, palms digging into his eyes before he said, “It wasn’t—that wasn’t me being drunk, okay—yeah I was, but it wasn’t a mistake in the way you’re thinking. I-I did that because I…like you. A lot, and have for a while.”

This silence seemed to stretch on longer than the one before—

“Oh.”

Jason laughed, he couldn’t help it, sarcasm dripping from his tone as he barked, “Well that’s always a great response.”

The coldness of his response snapped you out of whatever shock his confession put you in, “No, no I'm just surprised, sorry. And it’s not like I don’t like you too, but—“

“Oh that’s an even better one.” Jason muttered, and went to head back inside until your fingers shot out and grabbed his wrist. He stayed in place, but couldn’t turn to face you.

“Hey, stop being an ass, I asked you to play nice so listen. Jason, I do like you, I think you’re great actually, but this is a bit of a shock to me, and we still need to talk about how you treated me this last week. I need time to process all of this because I don’t wanna damage our relationship even more right now. But I still care about you a lot so just. Bear with me?” You said, breathless afterwards and thumb stroking against his wrist as Jason finally turned to face you.

“I can…work with that.” He said softly.

“Well I’m glad,” You shifted closer, squeezing his wrist before adding, “And hey maybe if you get a little too drunk tonight and make another mistake…it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

Jason immediately tipped himself into you, making you scream out a laugh while trying to push him off.

“Y’know now that you mention it, I'm feeling pretty drunk now.” He pretended to trip over his feet while your palms pressed into his chest.

“God you’re so annoying.” You grinned when Jason stopped, holding up his own weight while you slapped the back of your hand into his stomach. “Now let’s go get messed up, Roy’s driving so!”

“Oh say no more.” You slipped your hand into his, fingers interlocking as you led Jason back into the bar. You glanced back when his fingers tightened around yours. grinning brightly at him in the hazy lighting, a beacon of good and calmness Jason longed for. And while there was still uncertainty and time before Jason could truly relish in you, he would bear with you as you asked.

—

title/lyrics comes from drawstring by pity sex.

pt. two - the hellcat spangled shalalala

[grey-lark]

So Steve having a different car in the the pics I saw filled me with a lot of feelings, both a really fun reason and a terribly sad one. This is the sad one! I might also upload this to AO3 once I edit when it's not 6AM, but I hope you enjoy?

The Bimmer doesn’t’ make sense in an apocalyptic situation.

Steve knows this.

As the Upside Down claws it’s way into this universe, tendrils carving pathways across the town, a luxury car just doesn’t make sense.

Steve is well aware.

Hell, Steve is even more aware of this fact because he’s stationed at the high school. Hauling supplies and survivors requires space. It doesn’t require comfort and a smooth transmission. It doesn’t require leather worn by multiple people launching themselves in with reckless abandon, or a back seat that’s somehow always sticky because of soda-stained hands.

It doesn’t require what Steve can offer.

Loch Nora has been seemingly unaffected by the upside down. Steve would say it was the wealthy’s one last jab against the town if he hadn’t seen so many of his former neighbors huddling in the high school. It seems no matter how rich you are, no one can avoid the hunger - the desperation that comes from being completely cut off from the rest of the world.

Steve lets the engine idle in the drive way of his old house. The intact windows gleam with a promise he’d be willing to brave if he didn’t know for a fact how the twisted vines covered the bottom floor of the house. Pressing his head against the steering wheel, he lets the out a shuttering sigh, feeling how the Bimmer purrs, seemingly in time, below him.

“I know, baby” he laments, running a hand across her dashboard before he steals himself and twists the key in his hand. She shutters down, his own shaky breath following.

It feels right, Steve thinks, to leave her here. To leave her in the remnants of a life he used to live. He slides her keys into the visor, in case there is some one who needs her. Someone who can justify loving her, in a way Steve simply can’t.

There’s a truck waiting for him.

Something practical and light blue; such a far cry from his maroon baby. It makes sense, he knows. He knows that a truck will help him in this new, harsh, world they live in. Knows it will be easier to ferry survivors back to the school and supplies to where they need to go. But he can’t help but look at the Bimmer, now silent in front of his old house, and remember how she safely - impossibly - carried five (sometimes six!) children to the mall regardless of seatbelt laws. How she dutifully shuffled Robin to and from school back when they thought their biggest concerns were whether a girl liked them or not. He can hear Bowie and Queen still playing from her speakers and his breath falters, gasping, as he could swear it’s not just in his head.

Maybe somewhere, there are quarters still rattling around, waiting for Dustin to pry them from her carpet, not knowing the arcade has been swallowed for months. Maybe now there’s even the tail end of a blunt under one of front seats, safely kept after Robin dropped it, laughing too hard to hold on to the last few puffs. Maybe, if Steve presses himself against her side hard enough, all the stains – all the memories – will seep into him and leave the Bimmer a little less haunted.

It doesn’t work, of course.  Even after he opens his eyes, after he peels himself from her metal chaises with a shuddering breath, she’s still standing there, same as she ever was. His childhood home too, stands there as it ever has.

They make quite the picture. The large green house and the sleek maroon car and the boy with the styled hair.

All so put together.

All falling apart.

But it’s okay. There’s a truck waiting for him. It’s practical and light blue. The kids have already climbed into it’s back; figuring out their seating arrangements before Steve even had time to yell at them about the safety issues of riding back there. Max will sit up front in the cabin with him, no matter how much she complains – Vecna assured that. But even she smiles when she hears the hoots and hollers of The Party in the back, howling their freedom in defiance to an ever reddening sky.

Steve’s finger brush the taillight of the Bimmer, before running through his own hair. He sees the house he grew up in; the streets that were his home. He sees his car, his baby, shining like she did when he first saw her. He leaves her, a useless car parked outside an empty home.

His car.

Parked outside his home.

There is a truck waiting for him.

[indigosunsetao3]

I would like to request a comfort story in which either Kyle or Johnny are comforting a Reader who has been slowly enduring an increasingly awkward, hurtful, and one-sided childhood friendship over the past few years. I know these guys would never make Reader feel passed over or unworthy.

(This may or may not be inspired by my current situation with my roommate. I understand now why it is common advice to never move in with a close friend. 🫠)

Oh no! I'm so sorry you're going through this 😔. Living with someone can be so difficult, and things can be even rougher when it's a friend and things start to sour. I promise I value you. I enjoy all our back and forth, and I always look forward to your comments! And you know what? Kyle (and Johnny) for sure would as well. Hope this helps a bit 💙

What are you doing?

You sigh and reach out for your phone sitting on the nightstand and drag it toward you.

What I'm always doing.

You hit send roll back on your back and start mindlessly flipping through your apps. Another night left alone in your room. You thought maybe tonight, just maybe, it would be a little better. You had been so excited to tell your friend about the promotion. Maybe go out to dinner together, window shop, stop at the new smoothie place for dessert. Do the things you used to do when you were younger, and life wasn't as complicated. Or weird.

But again, you were let down.

They barely acknowledged what you had to say, clearly absorbed in whatever was on their phone. Or whoever. And when you paused to see if they had anything at all to say to you, they just delved into their day. Their issues. And their plans that didn't involve you in the least. Except to ask a favor and feed their cat.

Years of being friends, back when you used to gush about your crushes while walking to school, was seemingly wasting away. Moving in together had always been the goal, the dream. Who needed other people when you had one another? Then, when you were old enough and finally found that special person, you'd live next door to one another, your families blending and blissful. Friends until the end.

But it seems you are the only one who has continued that dream. You hold onto it and try to breathe life into it, hoping it was just a weird rough patch in your friendship. But life was taking the two of you to different places. And while growing apart happens, you never expected it from them. Not like this anyway.

Get out of bed and go do something. Like what? I'm tired of going out to eat by myself. Then don't go by yourself. Who am I going to go with? I was asked to feed the cat by my roommate while they went out with their new friends. Again. Me You're...well, wherever you are. Did you want to facetime? I can make some sad macaroni. I'm about ten minutes away from your place so put some clothes on. When did you get home? Nine minutes, you're wasting time and I'm starving. I will drag you to the Thai place in pajamas.

You shoot up out of bed and frantically look at yourself. Kyle knew you too well, even if you hardly ever got to see him these days with his work. He still managed to figure out your habits through texting and facetime, or at least took the time to pay attention.

Grabbing the freshest clothes you can find, you throw them on and make your hair as presentable as possible. You know the Thai place he's talking about, it's just down the street and a little hole in the wall. There's no need to get overly dressed, but you have an extra minute to throw on some moisturizer and wipe away the smeared makeup from the day that you hadn't washed off yet.

And right on time there's a knock on the front door.

Slipping your shoes on, you whip open the door to see Kyle standing there. He's still in the clothes he traveled in based on the crumpled look, and his eyes reflect exhaustion. But the smile he gives you is anything but tired.

"Jacket," Kyle says with a nod toward the rack by the door. "Figured we could walk, and it's a little cold."

"You should have told me you'd be home!" You exclaim as you yank a hoodie off the hook and work on slipping it over your arms. You wrestle with it for a second before Kyle untucks the hood so you can put it on properly.

"It was last minute," he replies as you finally get situated, shutting the door to keep the nosey cat in, then leap onto him for a hug. When he laughs and wraps his arms around you, you sink further into him, savoring the hug you haven't felt in weeks.

"How long are you going to be back for? Was it just you that got leave?" You inquire as he pushes the front glass door of the apartment complex open for you to walk through.

"Not here to talk about me," Kyle answers as he gently maneuvers around you. He walks closest to the street, keeping you between him and the buildings. "Tell me about the promotion and everything else…then we'll get to me."

So you do. You delve into everything, including all the hard work you've put in, the long hours, and all the accolades you've received. He already knows a lot about it, but he still stays engaged while you talk. His eyes remain locked on you while you both eat, and he's always grinning as you babble about things that probably go over his head.

"And why were you hiding alone in your room this evening?" Kyle asks after you wrap up, and he shoos your hand away when the check comes. "If I didn't get in so late, we would have been out on the town. As you should have been."

"You know why," you say with a small sigh as you pick at the last bit of noodles on your plate. "It's like they don't even…care. I'm just there."

"Then you go out without them!" He states as if that were obvious. "You don't need them to have fun. Go find people, there are plenty of people that want your company."

You don't answer, just hum around your fork before setting it down on the plate. You know he's right, but no one talks about how hard it is to make friends as an adult. There isn't the easy sharing toys on the playground option, nor are there school allies when the teacher is being intolerable. And friends at work? Always a risk and never long lasting when one of you inevitably gets a new job.

"You can make more friends," Kyle chastises as he nudges your foot under the table with his. "You won me over," he smirks.

"I love you," you answer with a laugh, "but I do not want to make anymore friends if that is how I have to do it."

Piccadilly had been more than enough for you in this lifetime.

"Well, what do you want to do now? I mean, we can always still go downtown," he looks at his watch before looking at you. "But I have a feeling I already know what you want."

"Movies and ice cream," you state with a nod before linking your arm in his heading out of the restaurant.

Fully expecting the apartment to still be empty, you nudge the door open with your shoulder only to be hit with music and laughter. Lots of laughter. It halts you in your steps, and you look into the living room where your friend is with their friends playing some sort of game on the coffee table.

"Oh," your friend states, standing up suddenly awkward. "I…thought you were in your room." They gesture to the group, "it was my turn to host game night..and I didn't think you'd be interested." They glance at Kyle and you already know what is coming. "Would you like to join?" An invite you weren't afforded and was only being offered now because they were put on the spot.

"No worries," Kyle states with a saccharine smile that does not meet his eyes. “We don't need a pity invite for your…" he gestures vaguely at the group sitting in silence, staring. With that, he takes your hand and guides you back toward the bedroom, careful to shut the door a smidge too loudly.

"Kyle," you hiss as you sit down hard on your bed.

"Nope. You don't get to be upset with me," he states as he shoves your ice cream at you with the plastic spoon. "You get to be upset with them. It's time you figure out that being second or last choice is not an option."

He takes a seat next to you on the bed and wrestles the wrapper off his spoon before tossing it in the trash and looks at you expectantly.

"We've been friends since we were kids," you start as you look at him, the ice cream freezing your hands.

"That," he points with his spoon, "is not a friend. They thought you were here and didn't even bother to ask? They don't ask about you or how you are doing; it's always about them." He takes another bite of his ice cream to let you process. "I'm not saying I need to be your new best friend…but you need to find another one because that is not it."

You sigh and finally take a bite of your dessert, though it doesn't taste nearly as good as you had hoped. Disappointing truth has that unfortunate side effect.

"I know you're right, it's just…hard," you reason with a small shrug. "It's like a breakup. No one talks about how breaking up with a friend works."

"You don't have to return their things in a box and pour sugar in their petrol tank," Kyle jokes, "I may have had a pissed ex or two in the past." He tacks on at the look you cut him. "Just…start giving that distance back. Don't be there at their beck and call, don't show up for them when they can't even bother to check if you're even home."

"I know," you huff before stabbing your ice cream with the spoon and adjusting on the bed. "Speaking of showing up," you raise an eyebrow, "How long is your leave?"

"I have to catch a plane back at ten tomorrow," Kyle answers nonchalantly with a small shrug as your eyes widen. "Quick turn around."

"Kyle! You're going to be travelling longer than you were even here!" You exclaim. "And you look exhausted as it is! You need to go to sleep. Forget the movie." You move to rise from the bed, but he holds a hand up.

"Friends show up for friends," he states as if it were as simple as that. "Pick a movie. I can't guarantee I'll make it to the end awake, but I'll do my best."

You hesitate as you watch him, but he simply inches back on your bed and settles on the pillows, staring at your television, waiting. Knowing you aren't going to win the argument, you grab the remote and decide on a cheesy action movie.

As you both sit there laughing at the absurdity of the action, Kyle picking apart everything that is not realistic, you realize something. That while Kyle said he doesn't need to be your new best friend, you are fairly certain he's stolen that spot without even trying.