#sucks abt my health tho
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Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.
Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal
Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that
Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)
Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).
Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic
Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"
#Eugenics TW#cult TW#ask to tag#Suguru when I catch you#Anyway this was me thinking Abt the fact that Toji ISNT a normal human. He just can't use jujutsu. He's like supernaturally powerful anyway#So Geto's whole shit is like. Pretty misdirected. Though also personal thought is I don't think His parents were good (and he's projecting#That onto every other person who's not a sorcerer) mostly cause like. Going straight to murdering your parents is not really expected#Progression in eugenics id think? Bc if you posit urself as the ''superior'' person theoretically ur parents should also b part of that#Bc genetics or whatever. Idk how genetic sorcery shit is but even tho his parents Weren't sorcerers usually ppl would make excuses I think#So. Basically I feel like he probably did not have a great relationship w them. Not that that makes him any better more just like. Thinking#Through what's happening in his head...why the fuck did he decide on a different last name for that woman. WTF is wrong with him#I am suguru's number 1 LOVER and his number 1 HATER. I'm suffering bc none of the fanfic makes him enough of a bitch#It's really fucking something bc like. Looking at him as someone who's had similar thought progressions and is unlearning the kind of toxic#Black/white extremist thinking he has going on. It's cathartic in a way to deconstruct that and be able to analyze my own thoughts as well#But then no one is putting in the effort to actually engage with his ideas and the flaws in them (INCLUDING THE AUTHOR.)#Anyway most people when they have a crisis and reach an extremely bad mental health situation would join a cult rather than take over a cul#But suguru is different. That's why I love him and also why I'm going to break his ribs.#Diversity win this autistic trans guy fucking sucks so bad you want him dead#I need to tag these damn posts w something but I'm too lazyyyu
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feeling better today
took a whole week for me to feel better and plus my dad is back so im not home alone wiht health issues
im just back to my same old health problems i had before. im not gonna push it or anything lmao so im still taking things easy.
#but yay not as yknow. spinning and light headed or headache#no caffiene for a Long time for me#and if i do i will try a low caffienated iced tea or if i want the taste of coffee itll be decaf (i knowi t has some slight caffiene left)#but im waiting a long time before id even attempt that too#i love iced tea more than coffee tho tbh. sucks not being able to have that either when htat was the easiest thing on me. i kno theres deca#anyway sorry for rambling all the time abt my health im just like hey update tho#im feeling better than i was.
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nothing sends me into an existential crisis like my oldest irl asking what she's allowed to tell our old classmates abt me 🧍
#LIKE THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO SAY. OTHER THAN MY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH ARE ABYSMAL.#then she said she typically tells them we both like ateez like 😭😭😭😭😭😭 that really is it huh!!!!#anyway. hate feeling bad abt stuff like this but it sucks that i can't brag abt a career or relationship or big opportunity or anything :/#makes me feel like i don't have a life even tho i DO it just doesn't look like the life of most 25 year olds....#well. told my psychiatrist i've been feeling p good lately and that one question from her just knocked the wind out of me#kara can talk
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It is so insane to feel everyone getting sick of you. Like goddamn I'm sorry I'm going through what may be my worst year yet but you putting up with me is somehow equivalent to christ on the fucking cross all of a sudden.
#really just goes to show that ultimately people close to you may not care abt your mental health as soon as it starts to affect them#we can talk abt depression and burnout and exhaustion until the cows come home but the second you stop putting on a happy optimistic facade#no one gives a shit anymore and you should suck it up so you're not bothering others#which is crazy. cuz I try to keep my problems to myself. I internalize a lot of the anguish I feel on a daily basis so no one else has#to deal with it.#but I've had a really bad. really long. exhausting and excruciating few weeks. and then you tell me the one thing I've had to look forward#to isn't gonna happen bc of some stupid shit. like fine. whatever. the apathy is kicking in so I'll get over it faster.#but god forbid you sulk for a night.#god forbid you be sad and disappointed and stressed when literally everything in your life sucks at the moment.#guess I'll put those yucky emotions away and go back to being yout stupid fucking court jester or whatever#it's all rage now. can't use that one either tho.#they gotta do this shit on my one Saturday off this month too. god forbid I have one fucking day.
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someone remind me to post a really bizarre comment i got on ao3 here bc im reeling but first. one thing i like abt college (at least my college experience so far) is truly nobody gives a Single Shit. like my textural issues and picky eating made me nervous that ppl would be weird but like no we make light hearted jokes about me eating a full plate of plain pasta. i can experiment w new things and if i dont like it thats okay. i just made myself plain pita bread and my roommate saw me and i was like oh shit do i have to explain and so i told her a bit abt it and shes like no thats so real im heating up a popeyes leftover rn. like nobody cares about what i do and don't eat and if they invite me somewhere w food i dont want i can just decline and Oughhgh i fucking LOVE college bro
#nightmare.personal#i both hate college (the institution) and love college (the mental health relief of being here)#my college for unrelated reasons fucking SUCKS but#hehe people so niceys here...#also i was nervous ppl would be like why aren't you eating a diverse array of foods but#i have only received positive comments abt me getting stacks of cucumber slices instead of a salad#and my buddy eats basically the same meal every time we get lunch together so like he does not care either#ppl eat what they want and its so! <3 yeah#also even tho the dining hall is rated like shit here i actually like the dining hall food which means#auspicious prospects for literally every other school bc i know objectivley ours is ASS#but i do go crazy for their rice despite everything
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me: man, the status of my teeth is actually starting to actively scare me, with random little twinges of pain, i wonder if id be able to start just cranking out comms to get my wisdom teeth removed-- that seems like it'd be a cheap procedure considering you're SUPPOSED to get them out at some point in your life in like 80% of cases--
google: if you're uninsured, fuck you you're probably gonna need to pay like 700$ minimum PER TOOTH
me: ...GUESS I'LL LET EM ROT THEN
#cyspeaks#US healthcare is a fucking joke man#its not even like im in constant pain or anything#i just know that my bottom wisdom teeth are like growing into my jawbone and right now it's simply uncomfortable#i know it can very easily turn into something much worse tho and im skating that line super thin rn#on the one hand i want to finally get hired somewhere so i can have money and insurance so i dont have to pay that much#but on the other hand having a job sucks and having to do one while in a constant state of discomfort/pain doesnt sound appealing#so fuck me ig#just wish i could live in a fantasy world where you dont even need to worry abt general health decline other than age
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sc says 6 yrs ago I was doing dabs and drinking margaritas w my ex best friend and my ex partner and now I'm uh. laying here. miss that
#avery.txt#like yuh that was in my smoke weed everyday era so obvs i wasnt exactly putting my heart into my schoolwork#but like. uuuuuuuuuuuugh i miss 1) that ex 🥲 2) having a dab rig 3) not having a lot of responsibilities#now im like. an adult and ive gone thru so much and i am happier now but im also world weary#so im like just. god kid i wish i could go back and tell you how to do it all differently#but also if i did that maybe i wouldnt be here rn#and minus the unemployableness and chronic procrastination im doing pretty great!! i write so much!!#im having so much fun with just. LIFE rn#ppl who follow my spn blog have seen for real how much writing i do + how Excited i get abt Stuff lmao#things are ok! and tbh a lot of stuff sucked back then i was honestly pretty miserable mental health wise#so even tho i miss the lack of responsibilities i do not miss my mental instability
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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💢 //
#having to put up an argument w parents just to be allowed more freedom bc of them being overly sheltering & restrictive of where i go is.#its so exhausting that i literally am not allowed to go anywhere w/o them hovering over me or so on#not even allowed to go for walks solo in my own apartment complex at any time of day because they’re THAT overly sheltering#legit if i wanna go for a walk i HAVE to go w one of my own parents yet sometimes i LITERALLY WANNA GET A W A Y FROM THEM#WHICH IS THE POINT OF THE WALK. GET AWAY FROM THEM & THE HOUSE & YET. THEY FORCE ME TO HAVE TO WALK W ONE OF EM. or worse both.#im glad that the circumstances left it to where they HAVE no choice & HAVE to let me go w whatever is ‘more favorable’ for them except it#isnt favorable at all for em its just ‘which freedom would we rather allow you to have’#but neither option is one they wanna give me i can tell. just a matter of which they let me have.#imagine constantly anytime you wanna go out w/o em somewhere your parents whip out a whole ass talk abt how there’s robberies/crime/danger#& how its too dangerous to go out & do x or y thing#i literally cant even go walk in my own neighborhood w/o that kinda immediate commentary or them bringing up just#the most recent crimes that happened to enforce this whole reasoning why i shouldnt be allowed out#even tho im. what. fucking 27??? sucks that i have chronic illness bc ik thats what gives em so much leverage over me#not even gonna comment abt them using my disabilities against me as a way to keep me hostage#i will call it keeping me hostage bc they’ve never let me have freedom at all#even when i was in uni on campus i was expected to contact em constantly & them expecting i go home v often & shit & since im kinda.#@ their mercy a lot it was not much of a say i had in the matter esp bc i came down w health issues around then so? yeah#i wont get too much further into this bc i can say. a lot abt how obsessively overprotective they are but.#regardless.#ishtar rambles ;#ngl its this reason along w other shit thats why im afraid of what’ll happen once i FINALLY have the funds & resources to move out#which i can! also get into that!#but. another topic another time.#not even also gonna get into their backhanded ‘yknow what let them do what they want#’let them go & learn their lesson’ like excuse me???#they want me to have a bad exp so they can say ‘i told you so’ ik it. i know this bc theyve done it before#& then used it as justification to tighten the leash on me
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Oh also the sekai april fools stuff is pretty cool. Haruka 👍
#rat rambles#sekai posting#its like Ive always belived haruka is indeed ugly man coded <3#also rip to ichika for being stuck in the l/n zone I wish they would let you free#also rip to the soft singer squad in the 26 corner for getting a song that doesnt rly work with them </3#I mean I wouldnt have liked it either way but thats just because I dont like mafuyu singing#the boo cover is adorable tho I love the mv sm#also congrats to the alien alien cover for having the most doomed toxic yuri squad of characters Ive seen yet#theyd all ruin eachother I think#and then we have whatever hell kanade is in being forced to sing a mmj song again#hey at least ena got to sing a song that her sister has sung again <3 (<- deluded)#oh speaking of!!! vbs is covering a song roselia has covered!!!! fucking finally!!!!!!!!!#well ok technically theres a butterfly on your right shoulder cover with an and kohane but thats not relevant to my desires#I need the stupid ugly ginger boy to sing the songs his stupid ugly sister has sung for the sake of my mental health#if he ever gets a solo for it then me and my sibling can die happy#not because itd be good itd probably suck absolute ass but thats not the point the roselia cover also sucks absolute ass#the point is that we could make them sing together and be very happy and scream and cry abt how normal we are#if only the stars would align to let all three sing together then my life would be complete#ideally for a song where they all sound at least decent but that's a tough order with these three#anyways I need to shower
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I uh. Apologise for the sheer amount of Bullshit I've put in the inbox bc my brain is a jar of bees and I write things when I think of them gdgjdbjfngfb 💀 -🌟
like i've said before,
DON'T APOLOGIZE!! /gen /pos
AND DON'T CALL UR STUFF BS ITS REALLY GOOD
#ask#answerign asks out of order again brr#i dont have as much freetime as i used to and i'm not gonna start abt my mental health but!! even tho it might take long i will try and get#to everything! i just wanna try and give everything a good well structured response so thats also a factor... but seriously its chill dw#writing things down as you think of em is smart honestly i dont do that and i forget like. everything so 💀💀 hskjdhgk#i say like 'im gonna remember it dw!' and then i dont. rip.#also 'jar of bees' take a look at my url and see what u find in there. i know a thing or two abt bees#but yeah ik i can suck really bad at getting back to people but i am trying to be better at that#ollie the star anon
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ok so like objectively yes ed did things wrong but not only do i personally feel no negative emotions about any of that, i swear it would make more sense tonally with the rest of the show to NOT make a huge chunk of s2 be about ed facing the consequences for and redeeming himself from the marooning/pushing lucius overboard/izzy toe thing. like if im wrong i’m wrong and it’s whatever but i really really think the focus will be more on ed’s internal emotional state and how his choices were informed by trauma and how he’s going to learn to heal more than it’s gonna be like, Ed Learns It’s Wrong To Maroon People And Force Feed People Their Own Toes. like if anything i think it’ll be Ed Learns That He Deserves To Be Happy And He Also Realizes That Marooning People And Force Feeding People Their Own Toes Is An Unhealthy Coping Skill That Negatively Affects His Mental Health And He Learns New, Healthier Coping Strategies. like i think the focus of coming out of the kraken era is going to be almost entirely on ed’s feelings, and any mention of how his actions harmed the rest of the cast will be brief and/or it’ll primarily be played for comedy
which yes irl this would kinda suck to have some guy respond to getting his heart broken (and other stuff) by killing and maiming people and then have his whole journey of self-discovery be solely abt him and not any of the people he’s hurt. HOWEVER a biiiiiig part of the humor of the show is that the characters are experiencing some very real and very relatable self-esteem issues and insecurities and vulnerabilities, and all of that is placed on a backdrop of comedically gratuitous pirate violence. like this is a romcom and ed is basically going through the classic emotional beats of the romcom heroine getting her heart broken and eating a whole tub of ice cream and crying in her room for days before becoming cold and distant and “love is dead” edgy, only the joke is that bc he’s a pirate his “love is dead” romcom era includes some people actually literally dying. izzy and the crew all just happen to be in the blast radius for this joke, and while we as fans might love and care abt those characters too, the plain fact is that ed and stede are the main characters and the other characters’s feelings or storylines or internal motivations simply do not matter nearly as much to the show as theirs (with the exception of maybe jim, and also maybe olu depending on how s2 goes). and that’s literally just how romcoms work. this sort of ���protagonist bias” is like, a core part of this kind of story.
and there’s nothing wrong with not vibing with the story because of that. if season two comes and goes and you aren’t happy with how the show handled the consequences of ed’s actions in e10 that’s fine, nobody has to feel any specific way about this show. but if i’m right and this is how s2 plays out and some of y’all don’t like this, the problem is not that ofmd is bad. the problem is just that this is not the story you wanted or expected to be told.
i DO think, tho, that there’s something very powerful abt a character like this being a queer indigenous man. he’s a gay romcom protagonist and narratively speaking his feelings trump all. this is a queer romcom that uses gratuitous slapstick violence as a punchline and where the queer main characters are allowed to get violent and unhinged about their feelings, and at the end of the day they ultimately get a pass bc it’s a gay romcom and the show is about them. like literally that description itself is more than i could’ve ever dreamed of from any tv show ever, and THEN you’re telling me that one of the main characters is indigenous???? it’s been a year and a half and s2 is right around the corner and i swear to god i still can’t believe this show actually exists. we don’t GET shows like this, we don’t GET characters like this. ed teach is such a fucking blessing of a character and i love him with all my heart.
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd meta#ofmd s2#ofmd speculation#ofmd s2 speculation#edward teach#ed teach#edward teach born on a beach#s2 predictions#txt#meta#mine#og#this is why im unironically on team “ed did nothing wrong”#the show gives us very realistic depictions of emotional trauma#and slapstick looney toons depictions of physical trauma
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Hi!
My name is Elliot, the depressed teen (and Co.) who runs this blog :3
Yap blog and Fandom posts ☆ trans he/they
(Flash warning⚠️ Under cut I have a blinkie wall that has many flashes. Flashless intro can be found here. )
☆Important Details!☆
•I'm a minor, for privacy and paranoia reasons I will not disclose my exact age
•I struggle with my mental health alot so if that bleeds over into this blog i apologize but you get what you get. Sometimes I have sort of episodes other times I just scream into the void, I do have a vent blog tho
•I have EDS (waiting for genetic testing in February, so I don't know what type yet). I also have suspected autism but no diagnosis (I am peer review by autistic friends/hj) so if my social skills fucking suck I apologize.
•I suspect I'm an OSDD system, I don't have any sort of diagnosis but there are multiple of us so yea 73% of the time they aren't a problem on here but if you see posts referring to me in the 3rd person that's why
•I get super passionate abt topics I like and if you engage in them with me I will talk ur ear off
•I struggle to respond to DMs (hardly ever will, please don't take offense) and other notifs. Please remind me if it takes too long, I have most likely forgotten about it :')
☆Don't do this on my blog- Queer discourse, queer infighting, drama, trigger my paranoia, bigots be an asshole, zionists, basic dni. ☆
☆CW// Slight mentions of mental health issues (nothing major dw), Mentions of cannibalism, slight autocannibalism mentions, blood mentions, me being a stupid idiot.☆
☆Interests☆
•NBC Hannibal ♡
•Baking
•Crows, ravens, and other corvids ♡
•Socially intelligent animals (like corvids, orcas, dogs, etc)
•Dead Boy Detectives
•Psychology (specifically social behaviors)
•Percy Jackson (not much anymore but if someone likes it I'll yap with them)
•Music (I am a musician btw! Not professional but I play things)
☆Links☆
Credits ☆ tags ☆ Vent blog (TW TW TW)
(Under construction pls be patient :3)
#elliot!tagged!#elliot!answers!#elliot!ed!#elliot!rb!#elliot!oldposts!#elliot!liveposting!#flash warning
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Can you give komahina (toxic yaoi?) headcanons
lemme see here. this is hard bc i dont necessairly have ~komahina~ headcanons i just have headcanons for komaeda and hajime it really has nothing to do with them as a ship;. but uh
ok so here's one. long winded. but i think from what we can gather about hajime he was a bit of a loner child. his parents didnt seem to gaf abt him. so i think he does get attached to people easy. tbh sdr2 was like a miracle scenario in some ways bc there's this guy who has little to no friends (be he never goes out of his way to make them) and then hes stuck with 15 other people his age and he's like i guess i'll talk to them what else can i do....and turns out everyone desires him carnally. tbf he's able to match ppl's freak and he's just good at listening (or pretending to listen) so this makes him popular. so its like ohhh ok we're friends now. hajime is that kind of guy who if he talks to someone once he calls them his friend. but like everyone IS actually his friend. anyways i think if hajime goes a long time without talking to someone he knows he starts to get a little nervous like if its been 1 whole week and he has not even exchanged small talk with like idk mahiru he's like "something is Critically Wrong" so then he'll go find her and be like "hi hows it going". its like disrupting his routine or whatever. i think the time periods for "how long hajime can go without talking to this person" varies depending on the person obviously. like with hiyoko it's like. they don't interact much so if it's been a week and a half he'll be like ohhh ok...maybe i should say something to her....but someone like kazuichi it's like. 3 days hasn't spoken to him once he's like Where Is That Mother Fucker.
this is all to say when it comes to komaeda in a komahina scenario it's devastating bc if he does not see komaeda in a while he gets fucked up abt it in like his anxiety/ptsd spiral his first thought it KOMAEDA IS DEAD. HIS LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then hes like banging on komaeda's cabin door and shit like KOMAEDA. PLEASE.PLEASE. and komaeda is like um hi. flip side: komaeda is also very much like this but with people he's close-close with bc if he does not see hajime in like three days he's like HAJIME IS DEAD. MY LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then he also goes crazy so they have to at least be makin small talk every day to ward off the demons....
as for like. TOXIC YAOI headcanons idk........anything in the chapter 4 area would be bad. i think. i have read so many hate fucking doujins in the chapter 4 time period. while dat all doesnt seem very canon to me (i just dont think hajime be doin all that. nor komaeda really) i see the vision. kamukoma was probably unhealthy on both sides if we want to go there. but like komahina. idk . 1) my brain is fogged up rn so it's hard to think you can ask again later if you desire but 2) really they aren't all that toxic like outside of a killing game environment. komaeda tends to keep to himself and hajime tries to understand people. so like. hajime is very much a "if it sucks hit da bricks" kind of philosopher so if komaeda was being a detriment to his health and he DID have a way out then it's not like he'd stay. hajime does put his foot down when things get too much. (if komaeda was a woman tho she could abuse hajime and he wouldnt gaf #mikanislandmodeending #hiyokoislandmodeending ) but see again komaeda wouldnt be doin all that. i cant see him intentionally hurt hajime post sdr2 canon, at most unintentionally toxic/unhealthy but again i thinnk hajime would in that case try to help him out like couples therapy style or something. WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS. im bad with headcanons it seems.
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Pros and Cons of Dating Fizzy
notes: i decided to make a compare and contrast post for me?? why the fuck not cuzzos. this is some form of self advertisement and im not above it. (im off limits and a minor)
M. List
Pros:
i will be very loyal towards you
if i like you a lot, i won't get an ick -unless it's something SUPER bad but even then i tend to let red flags pass over me.
i'm a good listener when i want to be -if i rlly like you again, i would always want to be
i'd do literally anything and everything for you
id buy you gifts and pretend not to care if you didn't like it
i don't keep secrets of mine from you -unless i CANT say anything, then, sorry
you don't have to do much to gain my trust if i like you a lot -that doesn't stop intrusive thoughts.
i'll adjust to your needs after studying your behavior
i have a good memory so i'll remember certain topics you bring up -likes, dislikes, facts you share, a story you tell me about.
i'll defend you should anyone try to do or say anything bad about you -i'll throw hands for you
i am not a dry texter most of the time so you'll have an interesting convo for the most part
it doesn't take much for forgiveness if i'm rlly down bad -i don't forget tho
you get goodmorning/night texts
giving you my hairtie/bracelets and spraying perfume on it -i'll pretend not to notice if you don't wear them
A Double-Edged Sword:
i'm blunt - i could be overly blunt but at least i'll be deadass with u
ill drop my needs for yours -if you rlly care then you'd be sad abt this i think
i struggle to pick up certain implications -you can probably use that to your advantage
i've learnt to mask really well to adaptto your personality - you wont rlly know how i'm feeling unless i choose to let you know
i'm attached to you -maybe too clingy? if you tell me to fuck off i will tho
i'll take what you say literally most of the time
i'll brag to my friends about you -i might also complain if you make me sad
i put my family before you
i have a hard time saying no a lot of the times
i hold onto promises -i keep mine tho
i'm kinda stubborn
i do dangerous shit -it has the potential for entertainment but if u rlly care then the downside is that i might get hurt over a simple dare
'are you sure?' x100
i laugh at everything -you could end up thinking ur funny bc i laughed so you go retell that joke to ANYONE else and realize my humor is shit and you are not funny :|
i send you memes/videos and go 'us' -it could get annoying
i'll pester you to take care of yourself -it could get annoying. also i do not take my own advice
i can be rlly protective but not like super alpha sigma dw
i'll want to wear your hoodies/shirts
my standards are dangerously low -you don't have to do much
i put myself down a lot -this could end up funny
Cons:
at least once a week i'll ask you if you're gonna leave me
i have underlying health complications that show up at the worst times ever
i am not funny -and it's worse cuz i'll actively be trying
i'm very specific about A LOT and i'll lose my shit if my shit isn't together -yes this has potential to become your problem
i will not tell you what i need from you -i just won't. unless you pester me for way too long
i'll assume you'll leave me at some point -this is regardless to your answer to the first bullet point
i WILL complain about my day and you WILL have to listen to it -it's full of complaints and i'll only stfu if u tell me to
i'll cry over the dumbest shit -whether it's front of you depends on how close. usually early on and you'll be the cause 8/10 times
if i'm overstimulated it might be your problem
i'll get mad at you from the cause of my overthinking
i'll secretly not trust you -not for like other people i mean reassurance wise
i need constant reassurance and it might be brought up indirectly but snarkily -i'll never tell you outright
i suck at flirting and i'll run away from you
i might zone out on you during face to face convos -probably from calculating correct eye contact durations or just thinking bout you- but while you're talking so its not good
i'm kinda loud and it's worse when i'm excited -i'm quiet in the mornings tho :3
i'm a lil aggressive
i'm kinda shit at comfort and my advice may not be good advice
if i see a point/indication and i don't like it i'll ignore it because i don't want to deal with it
i want your praise/validation
i get pissed easy
i take nothing seriously
'oops'
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id like to say thank you for bringing all these discussions to light, not only bc theyre interesting and we share a LOT of opinions in common but also bc its so relieving somehow to see people talking abt phils struggles and feelings and all he went thru bc i was a phillie even tho i tended to relate to dans content more and the amount of injustice going for him or people barely acknowledging his stuff or his work made me so sad. i love phil so much and the videos he uploaded during the hiatus era saved my mental health fr. dont get me wrong i absolutely adore dan and as a philie i'm a dannie by proxy also but i'm so glad to know i wasnt the only one in the trenches for phil. tumblr user phregnancy youre a joy to have on the dash
thank you <33 one of my pet peeves is when people talking about dan’s hiatus like it was the end of content from either of them all together, and it wasn’t. the videos phil made during dan’s hiatus were fun and silly and creative! that man chasing ghosts and floating in sensory deprivation tanks, it was a good time! but no because dan took his time away people abandoned phil as well and that really sucked
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